Episode 68 - Franck Desplechin

Speaker A: Welcome back to the Conscious Hospitality podcast. It's been a little while over the past few months. Uh, I took a step back, uh, not because I felt that the conversations weren't important, but because I felt really called to live, uh, the work more deeply to be fully present in a new chapter. Stepping into my role as general manager at Shah, immersing myself in the day to day with the people, the energy, the responsibility. For me, at the end of the day, uh, what we speak about here, presence, intention, empathy, authenticity, it has to be really lived before it's shared. And now it feels like the right moment to return. This podcast has never been really about surface level success or surface level conversations. It's about the real stories, the moments that shape us, the difficult seasons, the pivots, the decisions that ask more from us. And in doing that, uh, they bring us closer to who we truly are. Because conscious hospitality, as I say, often isn't about how we serve others. It's about how we show up in our own lives. And today's conversation, I feel, is exactly that. Today I'm joined by someone whose journey reflects that in a very real way. Frank Desplessian story starts early. At 15, he stepped out of the traditional path and into the intensity of real kitchens. And, uh, not classrooms, no theory, but pressure and uh, pace and expectation. And environments like that have a way of shaping you. Over the years, Frank has worked in Michelin star restaurants, world class hotels, leading teams in some of the most demanding culinary environments in the world, in some incredible locations that we'll talk about. But what stands out, it's not just a level of, uh, professional expertise that he reached, but it's more the mindset that he developed along the way. And that's what really excites me about today's conversation. Because for me, kitchens are just like life. They test you constantly, they expose your limits, they expose your ego, they expose your fears. And if you're open to it, they'll also refine you. And uh, I think he shows that. And Frank recently put this into words in his recent book Relentless Growth, where he speaks about, uh, resilience, burnout, openly speaking about it and what it really takes to grow not just professionally, but at a personal level as well. So what I appreciate about his approach is the honesty, the vulnerability. And I'm really excited about today's confirmation, today's conversation. Um, so today we're not just talking to a chef, we're talking uh, to an incredible human being that's behind that journey. And Frank, it's great to have you here. Um, so let's start here with something simple but powerful. But what are you grateful for today?

Speaker B: Thanks for having me, David. Very excited to uh, to join you in this conversation. Um, I'm, I'm grateful today. Um, I, I think 2026 is really the year when I've learned to be more um, present for my family, present for my work. I'm an entrepreneur now and entrepreneurship can uh, take you away in many different direction and you kind of forget where, where you headed. Um, but I'm very, very grateful for a supportive family. I have two young children, but my wife, uh, very grateful for my wife. Grateful for the people that works with me, uh, right now that uh, make me look good. Uh, I take a lot of credit for them doing a lot of the hard work. So. Grateful for them to show up every day and doing their best. So, so a, uh, lot of, lot of things to be grateful. It feels like Thanksgiving all over again.

Speaker A: Yeah. Beautiful. It's a beautiful way uh, of starting. I think uh, uh, you can sense just the level of alignment that's happening in your life and uh, I'm really happy for you uh, in that regard. And I can definitely relate to this interesting paradox of being pulled in a million directions and not wearing where you're going as an entrepreneur. And yet the inbox and ah, the day to day tasks being as silent as they've ever been before compared to the life we lived in, in the grind of an operation, in hospitality. Right. So, um, I can certainly understand that. Um, I'm really excited to explore your journey um, because first of all you've been like I mentioned earlier, in some incredible locations, um, and you've had uh, some, I'm sure, fantastic people pivot moments along the way that we'll discover. But let's go to the very beginning. Um, and for me it's really important to understand who you were at your most, um, you know, at the genesis, at the essence of it. What was Little Frank like between the ages of 2 and 6?

Speaker B: Um, I would say, I mean at the time, 2 and 6, man, I'd have to go back very, very deep. Uh, at the time nothing was very filtered yet. Um, so I remember being, um. And I'm gonna go based on what I remember being rather than what I've been told I was. So I remember being a very curious person. I remember touching a lot of things. I remember trying a lot of things, breaking a lot of things, rebuilding a lot of things over and over. I was always, uh, yeah, I was Someone that was extremely curious. Um, I'm someone also that was, uh, like a sponge. I really enjoyed the process of learning. Very early on, uh, I remember being able to speak more words than I was supposed to, based on the age that I was. Uh, I remember. What, um, else do I remember? I remember paying attention, observing. I was a very quiet sponge, let's put it that way. Like, I was someone that was observing a lot. How people spoke, how they reacted, what made me feel safe, what didn't make me feel safe, uh, kind of how. How a lot of patterns started. Kind of my confidence started there, My doubt, my drive, my resistance. Um, so some seeds very planted early, I would say, long before I could name them, I would say. So now, looking at it backwards, um, I can say that, uh, I was not yet chasing anything, um, but I was kind of becoming already a version, an early version of what I am today, ironically.

Speaker A: Interesting, Interesting. And I love the. The introspection and looking back at it from this angle, because I think a lot of people, the first answer they'll have to this question is, who was I told I was? What was I like to the outside world? Which is very, very different to at least the intent or the memory that we hold in our minds. Um, yeah, I think I'd love to understand a little bit about the dynamic in the family. Um, if you have brothers, sisters, where you guys were living, where you were born. Tell us a little bit about kind of the early days at home.

Speaker B: Uh, early days. I have an older sibling, uh, my brother, and then I have a younger sister. My brother and I, we're about three years apart, so I'm in the middle child. And then my sister and I, we're very close on age. We don't even have a year apart. We 11 months apart. And, um, the dynamic is, um. My brother was very athletic, and so I was following a lot of his footsteps in languages, and I failed miserably in soccer. And I was not as good as he was. So I was following a lot of his footsteps, but I was not nearly as good as he was for everything he was, uh, tackling and taking initiative on. My sister was the only, uh, girl of the family, so she was the. She was getting a different kind of attention, uh, because she was not only the last child, but she was a girl, um, from my parents. And, uh, I would say I spent a lot of time, most likely playing with my sister, more than that brother. Three years gap. It's kind of a heavy age to, uh, be able, uh, to figure it out how to find commonality into our games and stuff like that. Um, but after that I kind of took my own way very early on at like 14 and a half. I had to get a waiver from my parents to be able to enter apprenticeship. Um, so after that I kind of uh, went head down into culinary and uh, and I didn't look back ever since.

Speaker A: Yeah, let, if you don't mind. Well, I'm gonna just stay there just for a quick moment. Um, at that age when you were, you know, 13, 14. I, it's, it's curious because I have um, two boys and a girl. So I, um, My boys are a little closer in age so they're a little closer between the two. So my daughter, daughter is the one that feels a little left out. Um, but I definitely appreciate the middle child feeling where you're chasing somebody else's ideas because that's what's, you know, um, popular. That's what's seen as wow, uh, a standard and you want to. And I can see with my middle son similar. Like he now at the age of 14, has figured out I'm not going to be better than him at sports and it's okay. So now, now what am I going to be better at than him? So very relatable situation. Um, and I'm curious, what was the feeling like when you were kind of going through that phase, like I need to get out of here, like I need to find my way. And that gave you that push to then manifest this way out to, to go into, into the world?

Speaker B: You know, I think, I think there's two, two things that happened to me pretty much at the same time. One was, um, I felt a lot of rejection, uh, early on as I was trying to follow my brother's footstep into a lot of things and I was not good at. So you end up really kind of going through the feelings of failure or not enough or unsatisfying performances. Um, so all of those things I was realizing that I will not be my brother. But I was hit with a lot of self esteem issues. I was self worthiness. I was just looking at it the wrong way. I was not looking at it like, um, I need to learn from it. At the time I was just being affected by it. I was just feeling the feelings very deeply and it was just putting me down very deeply. So that's one aspect. The second thing is I believe when you reject it with something, there's an attraction somewhere. And I had watched my mom and my dad cooking for years I'd shown curiosity and uh, and, and I was just observing. I mean, when you grow up in France, your parents know how to cook. It's not even a question. Uh, you. They just know how to cook. So while my mom was more into the comfort food and the daily, the daily food she would put on table, my dad was more the, the showman. He wanted to make a show out of the food and he wanted to do all those things during holidays. So I've learned both side of the cuisine and what could it be? And uh, and so I got attracted with culinary very early on, uh, because that was a path that nobody has taken. But at the same time I had learned enough with my curiosity and uh, paying attention to what my parents were doing that I felt confident enough that I should start the process. So, so I would say that, uh, there was these double feelings and attraction towards what I wanted to become and at the same time a heavy rejection from not fitting in any box whatsoever.

Speaker A: Yeah, yeah. At the time. What was your like, social circle like with friends and with like as you were about to leave on your own?

Speaker B: Very, very, um, uh, tight. Uh, I didn't have a whole lot of friends. Um, you know, when you, you play soccer, for example. I played soccer my whole life, but I was not, uh, I was okay at it. I was not good at it. I was not bad. I was just stand up. Uh, and so as I went into my journey to soccer, you know, you, you, if you're good at soccer, you make a lot of friends very quickly. If you're not necessarily good, then you just kind of in the mix. Uh, and you end up creating a lot of bonding and a lot of friendship based on where you are hanging out and what you are doing. And the people that I've end up, I like, I could tell you I probably three, four friends that I could depend on. And that was this inner circle. And we gravitated around video games at the time because PlayStation was just being a thing. Um, and so we gravitated around that. Um, I continued to play soccer because I wanted to do some activity and I enjoyed soccer, but I didn't like what everything that was coming out of it. Um, so very tight inner circle that I had growing up. Very, uh, very, uh, very shy. Uh, I was not the one to make a lot of friends. So I was, I, um, was also I experienced. But this is topic for, for my therapists. I was bullied when I was small. When I was younger, I was, uh, not necessarily receiving the best of childhood at Some times.

Speaker A: Okay. And, uh, thank you for sharing that. But I think. Because I think it's very relevant, like, and that's one of the nice things about speaking with people like you that have gone through the path and journey is that you understand it's part of the lesson that has to happen in life. Right. And so if. If you don't mind just very quickly touching on that, no need to go to deep detail, but more so just, you know, what. What. What were some of the lessons that you gleaned from that now that you're kind of in this moment and. And, um, and then we can move on to the rest.

Speaker B: I think I. You allowed me to be ready for what were to come in the kitchen. Like, the resilience, the, um, the mental toughness, uh, the tough skins. Like, I was. I was like, ready to go. Because I felt like when I started culinary in the early 2000 in France, that was at the time there was not as data to what the rest of the world was doing. French was on the top of the iceberg. They were the best at what they were doing, and that's what I was starting. And so, um, as I entered the world of Michelin star and you were receiving those lesson and those chef that were super, super hardcore on you, uh, I had the mental toughness. Not that I was ready for it, but I definitely had similar experience in the past that was allowing me to be okay. Um, okay. Okay is a relative term. I was okay. There was some struggle, but okay from the point that, yeah, I knew I could continue. I knew I could put one step forward, and I knew I could take it. Um, so that kind of built me to become, uh, that apprentice that was in those kitchens. So definitely some lesson to learn about it. Um, lesson to learn as it shaped me technically to. To be ready to enter those kitchen.

Speaker A: Amazing. That's a great answer. Um, let's go right into the beginning of that apprenticeship. So you decided to go for this huge change in your life. First moments, arriving. Where was this? And tell us a little bit more about the feelings you had when you first started.

Speaker B: Yeah, of course. Um, the first two years that I did was, uh, the basic, the fundamentals of kitchen. Uh, it was a chef owner that my mom knew from school. I was in the hometown. She got me in there. And, uh, and so I did my two years. And, uh, not only you're learning from the owner who was the chef de cuisine, but you're also learning from. I was the apprentice on year one, kind of. Uh, and then There was an apprentice on year two and you learning and you just do that rotation. So that year one I was, uh, the one receiving all the lessons. And on year two I had an apprentice on my own that I was teaching. Uh, and so you're kind of getting into the mix of that. But I would say the most notable experience that I received was the following two years after that, uh, when I entered, uh, l' Auberge de Glasique with Olivier Boulain, who's now today one of the top 50 best restaurant in France, uh, to Michelin star. When I started, we had nothing. And oh boy, uh, it was quite the experience. Uh, the very first day, as I recall, um, the very first day he had told me that I needed to come around 8 o'. Clock. I showed up, it was 7:45. He didn't show up until 9. So I was just in front of the door for an hour and 15 minutes waiting for the door to open. And then when he arrived, we were late. We were late to get started the day. And he just gave me stuff all day, barely talked to me all day. Uh, just say, uh, here is three cases of cherries. Can you please, uh, remove the pits and then put them on this? And he said, three cases, it's about £40. I say, you probably have 30 minutes. That's all you have is 30 minutes. And so I'm starting doing this whole thing. And then he comes after 30 minutes and he just kind of, uh, as his countdown on his watch. And just like, um, Frank, like you barely done a quarter of a case. And it's like, I'm sorry, like, it's okay, let's, let's get moving on something else. And he did that all morning until service for lunch. And lunch service say, Franck, you're in charge of garde manger and in charge of pastry. I've never set foot in any of his kitchen. And so, and it just, it just throws stuff at me. Throughout the entire morning, the entire lunch, I had no idea half of the vegetables, what they were, uh, it was just, it was just nonsense. Finished the service and then we went on. Ah, there was no dishwasher. You were the dishwasher as an apprentice. So you're starting to do the dish bit. And then, um, the sous chef starting to go on break. I'm following him. And he said, frank, where are you going? We need to continue to prep. We're in the weeds for tonight. And so I did that one afternoon. And then same thing for dinner service. Same thing. And just Just to, uh, provide some perspective. I've yet to eat anything and it's like 11pm and I've been here since 8 o' clock in the morning. Uh, um, and then, uh, at the end of this first service, this first day, I was about to leave. I completely lived on my knees, ready to go, tired. And I say, no, no, no, we're gonna pull everything you didn't do today. We're gonna finish that right now. And so, uh, and so the day went on. The things that I, I did not appreciate at the time was like I was on the 17 hour shift for my first day. Obviously it was a test. And the second part that I'm appreciative for it today is the chef stayed with me until three o'clock in the morning. He stayed with me doing those cherries. He stayed with me doing those mushrooms and cleaning this salad. Uh, he stayed with me the whole time and we made conversation. And I remember I was so into it that he just started talking about breads and just said, do you want to know how to make bread? And he said, a little bit. I said, you want to learn? I said, yeah, sure. Say, well, tomorrow at 6 o'. Clock. And it was like 3 o' clock in the morning. So I just had time to go home, take a shower, and then I was on my way back to work to learn how to make bread. So, but that was, that was the initial, uh, I would say, uh, onboarding of my experience into the world of Mission Star, which, which is something you don't really see anymore.

Speaker A: No, no, no, it's definitely a, uh, very different environment. And I'm sure that you've, you'll be able to tell us about that exact evolution as you went through your, your kind of way into different restaurants and hotels, et cetera, because you also saw the evolution of the kitchen as a whole. So let's go on to the next step. Let's uh, where, where did you go from there? Um, and what was. Yeah, did you.

Speaker B: Yeah, I finished my two years apprenticeship. I got my certificate, kind uh, of a bachelor degree level. And uh, and then after that I decided to go on, uh, winter and summer season. Uh, you had this opportunity to travel a little bit. So I stayed in France, I went to Courchevel, and I entered Italian restaurants called, uh, La Sandrine Courchevel in the French Alps. Uh, I did, uh, about six months there. And then usually if you work in Courchevel in France, then you work in Saint Tropez in summer. That's just kind of the give and take. You can do the back and forth. Uh, so I ended up in Saint Tropez when I reentered the world of Michelin Star with a two Michelin star related restaurant. Uh, and then uh, following that I went to uh, my first travel international, which I ended up going in St. Bart. Uh, so I was about 20 years old, yeah, 20 years old when I moved to St. Bart. Uh, so going. And when you arrive in St. Bart, you're landing on this island, you see palm trees everywhere, and you're just discovering an entire new world compared to France that I've never left at the time. And so I did that and uh, that was the first job that I was entering the world of pastry. Uh, so I had done pastries, I had learned to do pastry. But that was my first pastry chef position of a property. Uh, that was the world of hotels as well. So I was entering the world of hotels, the world of pastry. And so I ended up finding myself very passionate about the world of pastry as much as I was about culinary. And uh, and so I've decided to, at that point to really take my time to reach the summit of my art and really learning both sides. So I knew how to do bakery, I knew how to do pastry, and I knew how to do uh, culinary. So that allowed me to really be a well rounded chef. And uh, that gave me a lot of uh, a lot more opportunities to not be boxed in into what I could do. Uh, I ended up being attracted and from that point on, I think the following two, three years, I didn't even apply for job. I was just being referred, or I was just saying, Frank, we need you here. Frank, that would be good to do this. Um, so that's kind of what I did. I just traveled a lot and stayed in Michelin star related restaurants. That's kind of the world that I was living in for the first 11 to 12 years of my career.

Speaker A: Yeah, yeah. That's amazing. That's amazing. Um, let's talk a little bit about this evolution in the kitchen during those times. You know, I think that the, a few things started happening. You know, I think some human rights in general were being I think reviewed, uh, all across the board during the, you know, 90s, early 2000s into the 2000s. And then I think the arrival of the show kitchen, meaning that you have a kitchen that's open air, that's within the space, changed I think the rules of the game inside kitchens most, more than anything. I don't know if you would agree with that, and if there's any other additional elements, but just kind of share your journey through those kitchens a little bit as both a leader, but also as, you know, going back to those moments that we discussed that it was quite a violent environment to grow.

Speaker B: Yeah, um, it was, uh, violent, it was abusive, uh, toxic. Um, and the worst part of it is it was normal for most kitchen. There was just the level of normalcy. I didn't know any better. I didn't know what it was to work in a kitchen that was not receiving that level of environment. So I made it normal. And I may almost. I. Not only I made it normal, but I almost looked at it like, this is, uh, this is the only way to succeed. This is the path you need to take in order to succeed. And as I evolved into those kitchen and we starting to. There was at the time that you had a lot of the, you know, Food Network was starting to become these big things. Everyone was watching those shows, and so they were normalizing, uh, the Gordon Ramsay at the time doing what he was doing. And then at the same time, there was a lot of polemics with. With, uh, people just talking about what they were seeing on TV versus what it was like. There was some great chef that did not necessarily appreciate that, uh, the picture painted of the industry was not what they were doing in their kitchen.

Speaker A: Yeah.

Speaker B: And so. So you. You kind of see the rise of, uh, both the, uh, the social media, the media and the exposure of a kitchen that is toxic. But at the same time, you had some chef that had swear to themselves that they will not become those chef. So you had both. Both industry rising at the same time that was able to witness. That was very. That was at the time that I was starting to become a leader. I was starting to manage a team. And, um, very quickly, uh, even though the only way I knew was to reproduce some of the thing I had experienced myself. So I was pretty harsh. I was tough. Um, I was not violent. I've never been violent. I've never broken plates and stuff like that. But because I've always been a tall, uh, very imposing person, I was able to create that level of intimidation into my kitchen just by my presence, my way of looking. Uh, I did raise my tone quite a few times during service. I just felt that was the only way I could get a service to go, uh, under my control. So I was that chef at the beginning, minus the violence, uh, but the abusing. Sure. There's probably some people that worked under my leadership that felt abused I, I have no prime to admit that, um, but I realized very quickly that I was actually as I was uh, moving towards my career in the uh, mid 2000s, early 2010, uh, that I entered some kitchen. I realized that people were starting to not want to be in that environment. Uh, they were starting to choose another environment. And so when you short staff that much and you're trying to maintain a two Michelin star related restaurant kitchen and you have no staff, then you have to reinvent yourself. Um, while the chef was um, at the time a little bit too crazy and critics environment, and I was the number two in the kitchen, I was taking upon myself to be a filter to team. So I was taking the heat and I was filtering under to make sure they don't feel that level of heat and that level of toxicity. Um, so it was heavy on me. But at the time I had built my resilience, I was good, I could take it. Uh, I had been in industry now for probably close to about, I, um, would say 15 to 18 years at the time. Um, so I've been around, uh, there was. After receiving physical violence and physical abuse, when you only have a chef that's starting to only be verbally and vocally abusing, you don't necessarily take it the same. You're just looking at it and say, yeah, yeah, no problem. And you just kind of brush it

Speaker A: off and move forward, definitely.

Speaker B: So, so that's at the time that I realized that um, being paying attention to the culture in your workplace was actually key to have people wanted to work for you and not having any short staff problems. So, so I started to really develop that for me. I started to really take care of my people, take care of my staff, um, to make sure that they want to come to work even though there would be toxicity. I was trying to keep them, uh, safe and protected from the toxicity and the environment. And uh, and I realized that the loyalty started to build for me. I was starting to have people more loyal to me than they were loyal to the chef. And uh, and that, that did not go well for me, uh, with some chefs that, uh, that. That was not necessarily appreciative of that. But overall I think I've, I've evolved to become a much better leader when I started to put my staff first.

Speaker A: Yeah, that's great. And I definitely agree with you, um, in that need to build loyalty through cooperation and through a connection, uh, rather than through fear and through, um, perceived control.

Speaker B: Perceived control, yes. Correct. Indeed.

Speaker A: Indeed. Um, so I am curious, you know, you did mention that it didn't go so well for you because, um, I think I find a lot, I relate a lot to what you just said. Um, how did you then evolve in learning how to go from being a man of the people to then really helping bridge that gap with your, with your leader as well and giving him the tools to be successful to also, hey, let's build together, you know?

Speaker B: Yeah. I think for the longest time, um, there was always disparity between the chef and I because of, uh, I was trying to create an environment in this workplace that was healthy, that was good for the staff that they're showing up. I was fixing one of the most fundamental problem of the industry, which was turnover. And so my ability to keep the staff engaged and keep the staff performing because I was taking care of them, coaching them, training them into what they needed to know, set up, set the expectation the right way. Uh, then the chef at some point is just kind of, uh, like anyone above me would just like, oh, wow, he's handling it. So that, that's good for me. I'm not going to be dealing with it. So, so slowly, um, you got the chef starting to take a step back a little bit, focusing on hiring. Um, and so that's kind of the level of collaboration that happened at the time. I was entering United States in the early 2010, 2012. And, uh, the complication of all of this is I was starting to learn English because I didn't know nothing in English at the time. So not only I was learning to be a leader in United States, but at the same time I was learning English. Um, so my ability to understand culture first and staff first, I think made people wanted to battle for me, made people wanted to work for me because I was there around the clock. I had no life. I was there from 7 o' clock in the morning until 11 o' clock at night because, uh, I could not communicate. I didn't know how to do it. Uh, I'm reading my emails. I had no idea what the email was saying. Nonetheless, responding them. Um, so all of those things were just, uh, the complication of what I was doing. But I had a team that was willing to work hard for me because they see how hard I was working. So the lead by example, which I think is overused these days, but the lead by example was kind of what I was doing in the early 2000. That was my salvation in order to, to succeed and continue my path.

Speaker A: M. I think that, uh, that that could be the end of a podcast in right There, because, uh, at the very end, that's what you learned through this whole journey, once again, is to say the salvation is truly just to be yourself and to. And to do the best you can. Uh, it truly is. Um, let's go into the journey a few other. Because you've taken many steps. So I don't know. This was close to you. Now, going to Hawaii, uh, and starting in one of my favorite places. Princeville, for me, uh, is one of my favorite places on Earth. Uh, the energy, uh, place, um, the Saint Regis now the one hotel. Loved, uh, going there when I was living there. So let's talk a little bit about that journey that you had in Hawaii.

Speaker B: Yeah. Arrived in Hawaii. Uh, 2000-2010-2012-2012, I believe I came to Hawaii. And, uh, yes, 2012. And, uh, I, um, didn't know in English. Didn't speak English at all. Um, and so I was the executive pastry chef of the St. Regis Sprintsville at the time. And, um, I spent four years there. I ended up leaving. I became my first executive chef, um, of, uh, the St. Regis. That was a big journey for me for many aspects. One is learning English, obviously, was one huge obstacle. But, uh, the best way to learn was to be completely immersed, uh, into what was happening. So, so that taught me. And then I became executive sous chef. After about a year of pastry chef, the chef left. Uh, and then I started because I had already, uh, knowledge and expertise into doing scheduling and, uh, taking care of the PTO is. Once you handle the schedule and the pto, you the king of the kitchen. That this is all you need to know. Uh, and so people were coming too. And so once we got a new chef, uh, and I was still handling most of the admin for the whole department, uh, the chef asked me, what are you doing in the bake shop? Like, why is the pastry chef taking care of all those things? And so he eventually promoted me to become the executive sous chef. So I became his, uh, second in command. Uh, and so I just became in charge of everybody. But now that was the first time really, that I was in charge of leaders. So not only I was in charge of a team, but I was now in charge of leaders. Leaders that was in charge of their own outlet with their own. Their own journey. Um, so that was. That was another step for me to learn, because the people that I've learned to become friends with, because we're all equal, suddenly I became their boss.

Speaker A: Yeah.

Speaker B: Uh, and so one of the chef had, uh, applied for the job, did, uh, not get it. So there was a little bit, it took a little bit of time in order to kind of get. But I, I, I would say some of the lesson that I've applied at, some that I learned is I stayed myself as much as possible. I was there to remove the obstacle. And I apply the same politics and philosophy that I was applying to my staff, that I've applied to my leaders is I just remove obstacle out of their way, let them do their job. But I needed to either provide them their tools to do their job and remove the obstacles out of their way. If you're focusing on those two things, suddenly the, the, the level of respect and loyalty is starting to rise. Just because you are helpful to them, you're not there, you're not there to tell them. What's the point of hiring a leader if you dare to tell them what to do? They're supposed to show the way. You just give them their tools. So I started to do that and uh, there was a, uh, personal, uh, objective of mine, which at the time there was only 17, maybe 19St. Regis around the world that I was starting to get accustomed to. Uh, and uh, I find out that the youngest exec chef of the St. Regis brand was 32 years old, was in the San Rigis Punta Mita. And uh, so I put it upon myself to set up an objective for me to become the youngest exec chef, uh, probably the narcissist in me that wanted to just get to where I needed to be. Uh, so I did, um, sorry.

Speaker A: I said it's part of the ambition.

Speaker B: It's part of the ambition, yeah. So I started to do this, uh, and eventually I became executive, uh, chef at, uh, 29 years old and eight months. So I got my goal to become exechef before my 30th birthday. And, um, very happy, celebrated wildly. But that didn't last very long. I actually found myself, uh, going into what would qualify, maybe into today's world with today's words, uh, probably depression. Uh, I would say I was heavily affected by, because I'm 30 years old, an exec chef. I, I, I could think that now I've reached the summit of what I wanted to do. But I felt completely empty inside. Uh, I felt like, uh, what's next? What else? Like, uh, my life is not over, but yet I've reached what I've been seeking out for the past five, six years. And so I felt extremely alone and extremely misaligned, uh, uh, with what I wanted to do. So that's where I started to really my journey, um, that link a little bit of uh, yours David and my journey of uh, understanding me and m. My presence and what I'm doing and trying to refocus and recenter myself. That would be an early on. While I didn't know at the time how to do it and I did necessarily did not have your book to really help me with that blueprint at the time I just did what I knew how with trial and error. I was just trying to figure it out what was happening to me and at the same time be more present. And uh, that led me to become executive chef to the San Regis in San Francisco, which was a four, five star property union property, uh, and probably one of the best property there was at the Folio at time. And so I enter one of the best culinary food scene in the country becoming uh, this executive chef of the San Regis in San Francisco and uh, entered a pretty heavy union, uh, property. And so now at that time I learned new skills, new everything again. So starting over another kind of journey. But this time I was a lot more present into what I wanted to achieve there.

Speaker A: Nice. It required a different type of energy to be, you know, in Hawaii with a property, with a team, with a culture. Um, the vibrational frequency is completely different than in Sac.

Speaker B: Oh my goodness. It was, it was like a bus hit me in the face. He was just going from uh, walking to work, looking at Hanalei Bay to walking into uh, Bart, uh station in order to get to work. Just two completely different, uh, atmosphere, ambiance. Everything was completely different that I regretted the first couple months. I regretted my decision of leaving, uh, because it was just like why did I left? I don't understand. Uh, and so eventually you're trying to find your home, you're trying to find the reason why you left and why it was attractive for you, you in the first place. And you're trying to kind of refine that level of motivation and understanding of what brought you here in the first place.

Speaker A: Yeah. If I understand, you know, if we, we do have a lot of parallels. Like I, I um, I moved around but I always had a real affinity for playing the team game, being part of a team. And so for me, anytime that I made any of these moves, one of the big excitements I had was getting to know the team. Who am I going to get to work with? What kind of people? What do they like?

Speaker B: Yeah.

Speaker A: And so I'm sure you going um, and leading a team in Hawaii to now leading a team in San Francisco. You have to Modify your style. And in particular you know that aloha spirit is much more open to, ah, a conscious, warm hearted, open hearted leader than a union environment like San Francisco.

Speaker B: Yeah, very much so, yeah. And you also getting um, the staff that you have is they all on their second job? They all have two jobs. In order to be able to afford to live in the Bay Area, uh, you have very skilled people, but they've been in the same position. The hourly rate is so high. They've been in the same position for 15 years. So you walk in this kitchen and not a lot of people actually need training. They already performing at a high level. And here I am coming from Hawaii where I had built a team from ground up. We had made what we were. And here I'm coming like very quickly. I found myself like I'm bored, what am I supposed to do? Um, and you're just trying to refine yourself, you're trying to figure it out things. Lucky me, we were opening a restaurant in this hotel. So that allowed me to really be focused on that and build team that we had. Um, but what was the biggest um, I would say change for me was the clientele.

Speaker A: Yeah.

Speaker B: Going into Bora Bora when I spent about two and a half years then going to Hawaii for four years, so about six years of my life, I was in places that are resort where people go on vacation for a small amount of time. When you arrive in San Francisco, especially uh, the caliber of the San Regis, uh, I would say 70% of your property there are uh, corporate people that are traveling for conference so they have an office or they're coming here for an appointment. And so the food, the cuisine, the restaurant, it's almost uh, an amenity. It just doesn't become a destination. People don't necessarily care as much about what you put on the plate. They just want to be fed so they can go on to their event after that. So I felt a lot of that when I was there. Um, I felt like it did not matter as much how much time I was spending in the kitchen and building menu that was sophisticated at the time. Plus you have also this um, bad rep of being in a restaurant inside an hotel when you're in the middle of San Francisco and all those standard owned restaurants are shining on their own. Um, so the restaurant of hotel were having bad reps. So it took a lot of uh, marketing in order to get uh, to get some exposure.

Speaker A: Interesting. Very, very similar to what I experienced when I was in Austin, Texas city, same city, hotel, very established, very Special occasion. Everybody knew where you went for, you know, a nice birthday or whatever it was. But to turn that into a day to day success amongst big dogs, you know, it's not easy, right?

Speaker B: That's true, that's true.

Speaker A: Um, so, so you, you spent a couple of years there in San Francisco and then, and then what's next?

Speaker B: Then, uh, I met uh, my wife in San Francisco and uh, we, uh. I've, uh. When we've met, I was already on my way out of San Francisco.

Speaker A: Okay.

Speaker B: Unfortunately, um, unfortunately my experience in San Francisco was not, was not the most exciting of it. And um, I was um, I was struggling to find my footing. I was having a big mouse at the time. I was not necessarily making the decisions. I was just, I was uh, someone that wanted to care about the people and wanted to get them where I need to be. But the politics in the house was not necessarily fitting it. So I figured that it was my time to move on. And so, uh, I moved on and I end up in uh, Sedona in Arizona. Uh, worked at the Enchantment Resort. And about six months later I joined La Berge de Sedona in Sedona. When was my first, uh, chef and be. Whatever the trendy title they created when you're in charge of the kitchen in front of the house, eventually I just switch it directly to a director of food and beverage. And I was overseeing the kitchen at the same time. And uh, my wife followed me. She came to uh, Sedona. Uh, and so, uh, we moved in together and then uh, we both were working at Loberon Sedona. She was in the rooms division and I was in fnb. So we're both kind of uh, running the hotel when the GM was not around.

Speaker A: That's very cool. And this was at Enchantment.

Speaker B: That was, uh, that was at Liberty. Enchantment was a short lived experience. About six months.

Speaker A: Amazing. Well, so now, now that I kind of have followed along from the curious observer at the very beginning to, you know, the, the level of depth that you kind of went in, the curiosity that you embarked on and everything to, to then the cultural kind of nuances that you absorbed, uh, in the different places. You know, to end up in a place like Sedona sounds very, very fitting.

Speaker B: It was extremely fitting, yes. Very fitting.

Speaker A: Yeah. So tell me a little bit about how you already shaped a new style of leadership, a new way of living. Much more awakened, much more aware. Sedona, uh, has the nature element that, that is very unique as well, because you land in A very different landscape. How all of that just kind of turned you into that. That. That next level human that you were becoming.

Speaker B: I think that next level came, um, I have to, uh, take some credit, but also give some, because when I arrived at l' Auberge Sedona, uh, the property, uh, had lost a little bit of his luster from a food and beverage offer. Him, uh, he was, at some point on the map. Uh, there was a Chef Rochelle Daniel, that was there and put the restaurant on the map, but he had lost it. There was huge turnover. Uh, you very close to the border of Mexico. So I have to say, drugs are real and can happen. So we had toxicity to get rid of, but a different kind of toxicity. And, uh, what I did is I called people that had worked with me. I, uh, called, uh, my former executive sous chef in San Francisco that flew out to Sedona and then ended up taking the job. I got the chef de cuisine from the Enchantment. I got the pastry chef from the Enchantment. So I started to build. Instead of, um, building a team from ground up, I build my leadership team, the one that I know. Um, we were working very well together. And once I build this team, then I was letting them hiring the people they wanted to hire to build the team they wanted to hire. And so you kind of creating almost that, uh, referral system when, uh, you trust your best people to employ and get the right people. And so the loyalty now, because I was not only I was front of the back of the house, but I was also front of the house. Uh, and so when you're in front of the house for so much, because there was a heavy need. You need to be able to trust your back of the house. So I needed the staff and the employee team to be loyal to the team that I had in place, rather than being loyal to me. So you kind of creating those layers of loyalty and lawyers of trust through that system. And when I entered the front of the house, oh, boy. Um, I got. I got, um, surprised. I got humbled extremely quickly because I thought I knew everything that I knew, but I didn't. And I started to run the front of the house like I was a chef. And very quickly, I hit the wall so many times. Uh, you know, the kitchen, you ask one of the cook, you say, I need you to work on Saturday. So, yes, Chef. And then you move forward, and, uh, front of the house is a little bit more, uh, I need you to work on Saturday. Yes, but can I have Tuesday? I said, no, I Still need you to work on Saturday and Tuesday. So you're just kind of going a lot more into negotiation and there's a lot more sensitivity and it's a little bit. It's just different. Uh, and so I, um, I didn't know how to, um, to approach the front of the house, uh, because you enter an element that you supposed to be good. You, the. You're the highest authority on the field, but you don't know anything. Uh, and so what I did is I, um, I started to be a host. I scheduled myself on the host schedule, and I started to be a host. Then I started to be a busser. Then I started to be a food runner. Then I scheduled myself into all those shifts. And, um, not only he gained the respect from people that I was working in their shoes, but at the same time because I'm also not, uh, stupid. And I've been in industry for some time. I was able to implement things that was making their life easier. And suddenly you realize they say, well, I've been asking this for five years. And I say, well, that makes total sense now that I've just experienced it, so let's do it. And so, so those, Those years of, um, of Sedona helped me kind of, uh, building a team of leaders that was hiring a team of staff. And that. That's really the big, the. The big difference that I had. And on top of that, for the four years that I spent there, we went to three management company change and two ownership change. So, so you go with new payroll system and new admin system and new everything. New P and L system, everything change. Every, every year was changing the same. So it was quite robust. But my wife and I, we ended up being the only constant, uh, there. So the staff remained the same as every time they were announcing a new change of management, uh, company. The question was, uh, is Frank and Christine are staying? I say, yeah, they're not going anywhere. Ah, then we're good. And so that we find. And you just realize that the, the, the. The calmness of this team and their ability to go and transition through the change, um, actually go smooth because, you know, you're still here. Um, and so that opened my eyes a lot about this. Yeah.

Speaker A: And it's the power of a human connection. People, I think, misunderstand the. The level of power that one human connection and one demonstration of truth and trust and integrity can have.

Speaker B: Very much so. Very much so.

Speaker A: Beautiful. That's beautiful. Um, so sounded like, you know, you guys were very much in your groove. Very aligned. And then another pivot point comes. So what happens next?

Speaker B: Yeah, the next pivot happened is actually the whole world got into this pivot. The COVID pandemic happened, uh, while we're in Sedona and uh, you know, you go into this heavy duty of having to lay off your entire staff. Yeah. With no. No real uh, truth into when they're going to come back, if they're going to come back, if the hotel is going to remain open. You, uh, just don't know anything at the time. But um, knowing me and uh, I am someone that doesn't know how to stand still, I still don't know. So while the whole world was on standby, uh, um, I was tackling at some point the idea of becoming a public speaker. I was uh, comfortable. I was uh, I had a voice, I had a philosophy that was related by a lot of people. Uh, I was uh, showing a lot of a, uh, lot of promises with uh, with my leadership. So I wanted to become a coach, business coach, public speaker. And so while the whole world was on standby, I started to uh, start my uh, My uh, public coach speaker training certification program program through John Maxwell. Ah, certification program. And so I did that for about a year. And then in uh, 2020, I opened my company incrementum. Uh, and 2021, uh, as we were kind of getting out of COVID uh, we, um, My wife and I, we moved. We. At that point we've been married. We had our first daughter. Uh, and uh, she wanted to, uh. The pregnancy during COVID was one. Not necessarily anything went wrong, but it was heavy to be pregnant during COVID because of all the outbreak. Uh, got kicked out of the house many times, uh, you know, stuff like that. So you're just kind of going the.

Speaker A: You had to work during this time, I'm sure. And you were.

Speaker B: We had to work. I mean you're in Arizona, the property of l', Auberge, because they all cottages. Uh, we were not in hotel. Our hotel never closed. Um, so we were still open. And uh, so we navigated all this. And um, 2021, um, my wife wanted to get closer to a family. So in Connecticut, which is now where I'm based out of. And uh, so five weeks old, my daughter flew out to go to Connecticut. Uh, and I drove across the country, um, to bring everything on the other side. And that's where I joined Auberge, uh, Resort Collection. Um, that was at the time that I joined Auberg Collection with the Mayflower Inn and Spa as Their director of Food and beverage in 2021.

Speaker A: I see. Amazing. Amazing. Well it's such a, such a great journey, um, and so many amazing spots. And you made the shift that many people I think fear making, um, consider making uh, which is to go from hey, I've been ah, working for a company for a team and I've known that. I've had this philosophy in me and I have this way of expressing in my own way. Some people it's speaking, some people it's through consulting, some people it's through whatever method is theirs. Um, but talk to me a little bit about you know the, or maybe share some of the big lessons that you learned from going from hey, consistent paycheck, it's all coming in nice. I Norma to okay, how do I, what do I hunt for today? You know?

Speaker B: Yeah, um, I, I um. When I became entrepreneur in 2020, uh, obviously we were on the coming out of COVID Uh, there was not necessarily room to establish myself. I was in a completely new state in Connecticut so not necessarily anything ready for me to do at the time. And uh, so I, I also was a first time father. I was a new homeowner. So. And I was starting my job with Auberge. And as you know with Auberge you don't necess the time to do much on the side after when you work with Aubert. And so. So you kind of uh. I kind of put my company on the side burner for a little while because I just had to focus on everything else. In 2023, um, I got laid, uh off from Auberg Result Collection. I uh, they were doing this restructuration when they were opening properties left and right very fast and they were trying to uh, create uh, some uh, director of operation into proper properties in order to groom them to become GM from within. And uh, and so they cancel some directors of FNB and director of rooms across the portfolio in some property and the Mayflower being one of them, they cancel my position. And so um, January 2023 they cancel my position. I started to look for jobs. I was not ready yet to be an entrepreneur. I was just like my level of readiness was not there. I, and probably because I'm an overthinker and I want to put all my ducks in a row. Uh, so I was just not ready. But sometimes uh, not being ready is the best thing that can happen to you. Uh, because I started to apply for job, there's one, one certainty is my wife and I, we didn't want it to move from where we were in Connecticut and if you ever been in the state of Connecticut, there's not a whole lot going on in hospitality for you to work.

Speaker A: Uh, and I was coming out very much. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker B: And I was in one of the best hotel there was in the States. Uh, and so you're looking at New York and you're looking at Boston, but all this is two and a half hour drive. So you, you kind of close enough that you can go work in those big city, but you're far enough that you don't come home every night. So what's the point? Uh, and so my wife, she's the one who actually uh, led me to why don't you dust off your company and just start doing this. And I said man, I've, I haven't really established a market in Connecticut and stuff. I said, well just do consulting and just kind of starting to do all these things and slept on it. Think about it. For, for a few days. And uh, as the date was approaching that I was being out of a job, I've started to launch. Uh, I've sent an email, I Remember I've sent 63 emails to my network to say I'm going to start entrepreneurship. A hundred percent. A lot of uncertainty. You, you, I was bringing probably at the time 60, 70% of the family income. So you kind of uh, and you have a baby that is about a year and a half old. So all of those things just hit you and you just don't know what to do with it. And uh, you took a leap of faith and you just kind of go with it. And uh, you're doing everything possible to get to this point. When you are believing that this is the right process, uh, you're almost believing blindly that is the right way. And So I sent 63 emails received, I don't know, probably 13, 17 response. All of them were congratulation, thank you, good job. Um, nothing that was giving me a job. I love the thank you. I was grateful for it. But I needed a job and uh, I had one job, uh, one job that brought me they want, they didn't help. They remember me, uh, in some in the past. So I went to help out and that job led to another, that led to another, that led to another. And uh, to a point that I had too many jobs just for me. So I ended up um, creating the task force management services of my company, another branch of my company and I just took off. Crazy.

Speaker A: That's amazing. That's amazing. And it's very, you Know, I think it demonstrates that if you're giving, adding value back and you're giving something that people need, well, ah, you know, it's, it's, it's natural that people are going to gravitate toward it. So that's amazing. So tell us a little bit about Incrementum, what, what it is specifically that you um, you know, specialize at. Um, and what's the best way to kind of be in contact with you?

Speaker B: Of course, um, Incrementum is, uh, started as a consulting company and then we've pivoted. We do consulting for underperforming property or renovation. Uh, we helping with uh, anything heavily, FNB driven concept development. Um, and uh, there's the task force management services. So I've got about 40 consultants now that I deploy across the country to go help property needs. In interim. Once they're losing a position, then we're sending someone to replace them for 30, 45, 60 days. So I've got um, every position you can think of from uh, anything fnb, from a restaurant to a director, fnb, uh, from a sous chef all the way to an exec chef, but also in the rooms division, sales, marketing, hotel manager, GMs. So we can really. I can pretty much fill up an entire hotel, uh, with everything that I have. Uh, the other part of what Incrementum does is we're uh, doing luxury quality assessments. So my wife joined me in that venture when we're staying in property and we're doing audits. Um, so we're providing audits. And on top of that there is the first phase, which is the audit. Second phase is we provide an audit with the report and the critical um, path that goes with it based on the needs. And then the third phase is we actually go on site and we're providing the training based on this critical path that we got out of the report support. Um, so we uh, we're doing this with my wife. And my wife is also a trainer. She's the director of uh, development and quality assessment for Incrementum. And she does a lot of training, a lot of them remotely, uh, with emotional intelligence, productivity, uh, conflict, conflict, uh, resolution, um, customer service essentials. So anything that you could think of in the world of hospitality, she does provide those training. So that's pretty much what Incrementum does. And uh, you can find me on incrementomllc, um.net uh, or to cheffront, uh.com that's the best way to get a hold of me.

Speaker A: That's Amazing. Thank you so much for, for sharing this amazing journey, Frank. It's so, so great. Honestly, I. I really enjoyed how, um, you know, it. You went from environment to environment, having to adapt yourself, but also refining who you are in each step. No, like I said in the beginning, I think the kitchen, if you come in with this mindset that is going to beat you up. Well, of course that's when it's going to happen. But if you come in with this mindset of, no, no, it's going to refine me and it's gonna, yeah, sometimes it's gonna hurt, but that chiseling makes me a sharper, better version of me. That's the type of life that you've kind of taken. And then it's great to, to remain connected. I'm really grateful for you and, uh, and this opportunity to speak and to continue, um, you know, sharing that, that light so that people really fall in love with our industry again, man. You know, I think that you and I both share that, that it's a beautiful injury in industry to be part of, um, being part of a team, being part of a, uh, collaborative effort is fantastic, you know, so, um, thank you for, for spreading that message as well.

Speaker B: Thank you for having me. David very much appreciated the conversation. Thank you.

Speaker A: Yeah, likewise. And, uh, to everybody that's tuned in, it's great to see everybody again and, uh, hopefully, uh, we'll. We'll continue the conversations going week on week. Until then, stay conscious and connected.