The Cost of Leading Out of Alignment | Ep. 97

1 00:00:13,279 --> 00:00:16,239 SPEAKER_02: Welcome to the Let's Play of Alex PlaceCast, where 2 00:00:16,399 --> 00:00:20,000 high achievers start performing and start transforming. 3 00:00:20,160 --> 00:00:24,559 I'm Coach Mo, Son of my core energy leadership coach, founder 4 00:00:24,559 --> 00:00:27,839 of the inner arena, and creator of the Swan X framework. 5 00:00:33,119 --> 00:00:37,119 And when I'm here, train your mindset, challenge your limits, 6 00:00:37,280 --> 00:00:39,280 and transfer into purpose. 7 00:00:39,600 --> 00:00:43,920 Subscribe now and join me on YouTube at Swan X Coaching. 8 00:00:44,079 --> 00:00:45,359 So let's get your reps in. 9 00:00:55,280 --> 00:00:57,840 Welcome to another episode of the Let's Think About It 10 00:00:58,079 --> 00:00:58,719 podcast. 11 00:00:58,880 --> 00:01:03,039 I'm your host, Coach Mo, and I'm here with another amazing guest. 12 00:01:03,119 --> 00:01:06,079 And her name is Rachel Edmondson Clark. 13 00:01:06,640 --> 00:01:09,040 Rachel, how are you? 14 00:01:09,680 --> 00:01:12,400 SPEAKER_00: Oh, I'm so excited to be here with you. 15 00:01:12,719 --> 00:01:16,560 I absolutely love chatting with you, and I love the show. 16 00:01:16,719 --> 00:01:18,879 So I'm excited for our conversation. 17 00:01:19,200 --> 00:01:21,280 SPEAKER_02: I'm excited for you to be here. 18 00:01:21,519 --> 00:01:23,120 I hear an accent though. 19 00:01:23,200 --> 00:01:25,439 What part of the world are you checking in from? 20 00:01:26,000 --> 00:01:29,120 SPEAKER_00: Oh, yeah, we should address that straight up, right? 21 00:01:29,359 --> 00:01:33,120 So I'm from Nottingham in England, and yes, that is Robin 22 00:01:33,120 --> 00:01:33,840 Hood Country. 23 00:01:33,920 --> 00:01:36,239 For those of you who can remember, was it the 90s when 24 00:01:36,239 --> 00:01:38,480 Kevin Costland did it Prince of Thieves? 25 00:01:39,040 --> 00:01:39,920 SPEAKER_02: I love it. 26 00:01:40,239 --> 00:01:45,120 Globally, the Let's Think About It podcast reaches global. 27 00:01:45,519 --> 00:01:46,000 Yes. 28 00:01:46,239 --> 00:01:47,519 And I appreciate that. 29 00:01:47,680 --> 00:01:52,640 What's one thing that you could tell us that you admire the most 30 00:01:52,959 --> 00:01:56,000 about where would you say Nottingham? 31 00:01:56,319 --> 00:01:56,400 Yeah. 32 00:01:56,640 --> 00:01:59,359 What's one thing that we you would want us to know about? 33 00:01:59,920 --> 00:02:05,280 SPEAKER_00: So it's most famous for its connection with Robin 34 00:02:05,280 --> 00:02:05,920 Hood. 35 00:02:06,480 --> 00:02:14,560 And I what I love about it as a city is that it's got so much to 36 00:02:14,560 --> 00:02:17,120 offer, and yet it's not a big city. 37 00:02:17,280 --> 00:02:22,000 So you can walk from one side of it to another very easily. 38 00:02:22,479 --> 00:02:27,280 And we still we do still have a castle, a Nottingham castle of 39 00:02:27,280 --> 00:02:29,919 sorts, and Sherwood Forest. 40 00:02:30,080 --> 00:02:34,240 And as you would imagine, that beautiful countryside and the 41 00:02:34,240 --> 00:02:38,800 trees, the major oak trees, and things like that is not far away 42 00:02:38,800 --> 00:02:39,439 either. 43 00:02:39,759 --> 00:02:44,800 So I just I love Nottingham because it's a great city, and 44 00:02:44,800 --> 00:02:48,639 then you've also got fabulous, gorgeous countryside to be able 45 00:02:48,639 --> 00:02:52,080 to get out in and explore on mountain bikes or walking or 46 00:02:52,159 --> 00:02:54,479 yeah, trails, whatever you want to do. 47 00:02:54,639 --> 00:02:56,080 It's yeah, it's a great part of the world. 48 00:02:56,479 --> 00:02:59,680 And we're right in the middle of England as well. 49 00:02:59,919 --> 00:03:04,560 So to be able to get around to other places from here makes it 50 00:03:04,560 --> 00:03:07,280 really central and a cool place to be. 51 00:03:07,919 --> 00:03:08,800 SPEAKER_02: Man, that's great. 52 00:03:08,879 --> 00:03:09,439 I'm great. 53 00:03:09,520 --> 00:03:10,000 I love that. 54 00:03:10,080 --> 00:03:11,759 I love Robin Hood, by the way. 55 00:03:11,919 --> 00:03:13,280 So let's jump right in. 56 00:03:13,520 --> 00:03:17,439 Tell us who you are, what you do, and the type of value that 57 00:03:17,439 --> 00:03:18,319 you bring. 58 00:03:18,800 --> 00:03:21,120 SPEAKER_00: So who am I? 59 00:03:21,280 --> 00:03:23,520 That's always a really interesting question. 60 00:03:23,599 --> 00:03:26,560 And I always think it's interesting that the kind of the 61 00:03:26,560 --> 00:03:30,479 hats that people lead go to when they're asked that question. 62 00:03:30,639 --> 00:03:31,840 So who am I? 63 00:03:32,000 --> 00:03:33,759 I am, yes, of course, I am. 64 00:03:34,080 --> 00:03:39,919 I'm a wife, I'm a mother with two boys, I live my life's 65 00:03:39,919 --> 00:03:43,439 mission and my soul's contract in the work that I do, which I I 66 00:03:43,439 --> 00:03:47,520 thoroughly enjoy, and is deeply meaningful to me. 67 00:03:47,840 --> 00:03:49,439 But who am I? 68 00:03:50,240 --> 00:03:58,400 I am someone who cares deeply about growth, about being 69 00:03:58,400 --> 00:04:04,080 ever-evolving, about being true to my spirit and my values and 70 00:04:04,080 --> 00:04:05,680 what's important to me. 71 00:04:06,400 --> 00:04:11,199 And I care deeply about the world that we live in and making 72 00:04:11,199 --> 00:04:14,000 a positive difference and a lasting impact in that. 73 00:04:14,639 --> 00:04:15,280 SPEAKER_02: That's great. 74 00:04:15,520 --> 00:04:18,720 And what do you do to support that mission? 75 00:04:19,839 --> 00:04:20,160 SPEAKER_00: Yeah. 76 00:04:20,319 --> 00:04:26,560 So what I help leaders to lead brilliantly without losing 77 00:04:26,560 --> 00:04:27,279 themselves. 78 00:04:27,439 --> 00:04:34,800 And I think the honest reason that I do this work is because I 79 00:04:34,800 --> 00:04:38,879 have been in that corporate space myself many years ago now, 80 00:04:39,120 --> 00:04:42,720 probably 13, 14 years ago. 81 00:04:43,680 --> 00:04:50,319 And I found myself collapsed on my office floor before going 82 00:04:50,319 --> 00:04:52,000 into a board meeting. 83 00:04:52,800 --> 00:04:58,639 And I'd spent a long time pushing through, doing the high 84 00:04:58,800 --> 00:05:04,160 achiever thing, and being really disconnected with myself and 85 00:05:04,160 --> 00:05:12,480 what really mattered, and coming back to living in alignment with 86 00:05:13,120 --> 00:05:18,160 who I most wanted to become, and that never stops, as we know. 87 00:05:18,319 --> 00:05:22,560 I know you know this never stops, has been just one of the 88 00:05:22,560 --> 00:05:27,600 most fulfilling and rewarding journeys of my life, and helping 89 00:05:27,600 --> 00:05:35,519 others to be able to tap into their potential and help leaders 90 00:05:35,519 --> 00:05:40,720 in the world today be able to operate with greater clarity and 91 00:05:41,680 --> 00:05:46,720 operate at a consistently high level. 92 00:05:47,120 --> 00:05:50,560 It's something that I just feel the world needs so desperately 93 00:05:50,720 --> 00:05:54,639 right now, with the amount of change and uncertainty that's 94 00:05:54,639 --> 00:05:58,399 going on, and the ripple effects that those leaders can have in 95 00:05:58,399 --> 00:06:03,519 their organizations and in the world means something really 96 00:06:03,839 --> 00:06:04,720 important to me. 97 00:06:05,040 --> 00:06:05,439 SPEAKER_02: Yeah. 98 00:06:05,680 --> 00:06:09,120 I think listening to what you said, the first thing that 99 00:06:09,120 --> 00:06:13,759 really popped into my mind was you did the high achiever thing, 100 00:06:14,079 --> 00:06:14,399 right? 101 00:06:14,720 --> 00:06:16,879 And what was the pivot for you? 102 00:06:17,120 --> 00:06:22,639 Why did you make that move to shift over to to do consulting 103 00:06:22,639 --> 00:06:26,800 work and what you do now from just being in corporate and 104 00:06:26,800 --> 00:06:28,079 being that high performer? 105 00:06:28,160 --> 00:06:32,560 Because I would imagine you were producing really well in that 106 00:06:32,560 --> 00:06:33,360 environment. 107 00:06:33,600 --> 00:06:36,240 But what caused the pivot for you? 108 00:06:36,720 --> 00:06:39,519 SPEAKER_00: And it was a real change in the definition of 109 00:06:39,519 --> 00:06:40,720 success as well. 110 00:06:41,600 --> 00:06:45,279 So I think I was caught in all of the trappings of what I was 111 00:06:45,279 --> 00:06:48,720 led to believe was success, whether that was the 112 00:06:48,720 --> 00:06:52,160 glass-fronted office, the company car, the team, the 113 00:06:52,800 --> 00:06:57,680 influence within the organization, and that sort of 114 00:06:57,680 --> 00:07:00,000 climbing that corporate ladder. 115 00:07:00,879 --> 00:07:05,680 And for me now, success is very different. 116 00:07:06,000 --> 00:07:10,879 Success is about that freedom that I have, that connection 117 00:07:10,879 --> 00:07:14,480 that I have, much better connection with myself and with 118 00:07:14,480 --> 00:07:15,199 others. 119 00:07:15,519 --> 00:07:22,079 Yes, it's still about being able to enjoy the things that I want 120 00:07:22,079 --> 00:07:26,720 to enjoy and have the financial freedom to do those things. 121 00:07:27,040 --> 00:07:31,199 But it's yeah, it's it really comes down to that free. 122 00:07:31,519 --> 00:07:35,360 Just a slight and aside, I woke up yesterday morning and it's 123 00:07:35,360 --> 00:07:36,639 one of those pinch me moments. 124 00:07:36,720 --> 00:07:40,720 I'm I've had my own business for 11 years now, and it was one of 125 00:07:40,720 --> 00:07:43,519 those pinch me moments because I was like, oh my god, this is 126 00:07:43,519 --> 00:07:46,160 just I'm so excited for today. 127 00:07:46,480 --> 00:07:50,800 I spent the majority of the day with a room of absolutely 128 00:07:50,800 --> 00:07:58,160 brilliant senior women, and it was just I get to do this, I get 129 00:07:58,160 --> 00:08:04,000 to go and have lunch and work with and connect with this 130 00:08:04,000 --> 00:08:06,079 incredible group of women. 131 00:08:06,399 --> 00:08:08,240 And what was the pivot point? 132 00:08:08,319 --> 00:08:10,319 Was the other part of your question. 133 00:08:10,639 --> 00:08:14,639 The pivot point was that moment that I collapsed on the office 134 00:08:14,639 --> 00:08:14,959 floor. 135 00:08:15,040 --> 00:08:20,000 That was the moment that kind of woke me up to the realization 136 00:08:20,639 --> 00:08:30,399 that what I had been pursuing was not as fulfilling or aligned 137 00:08:30,399 --> 00:08:32,240 to what I really wanted. 138 00:08:32,559 --> 00:08:35,840 And something that I think is really important to state with 139 00:08:35,840 --> 00:08:40,320 that is that it wasn't then a quick flip and oh, so I should 140 00:08:40,320 --> 00:08:42,879 be doing this, or this is what I want to do. 141 00:08:43,440 --> 00:08:52,720 For me, it took me three years to follow my heart, to see what 142 00:08:52,720 --> 00:08:58,879 was lighting me up, and to really, really explore deeply 143 00:08:58,879 --> 00:09:02,320 what was important to me, and then to make that transition, 144 00:09:02,879 --> 00:09:07,840 because just jump jumping out of a corporate career and into 145 00:09:07,840 --> 00:09:12,559 running your own business is not necessarily a straight or an 146 00:09:12,559 --> 00:09:14,720 easy line or thing to do. 147 00:09:15,039 --> 00:09:20,720 And so, yeah, that that transition happened over quite a 148 00:09:20,720 --> 00:09:22,720 period of time for me anyway. 149 00:09:23,200 --> 00:09:26,000 SPEAKER_02: Thank you for sharing that, because I think a 150 00:09:26,000 --> 00:09:30,480 lot of the audience who listen to the show are high achievers, 151 00:09:31,039 --> 00:09:35,759 are leaders, are people that are doing extremely well in the work 152 00:09:35,759 --> 00:09:36,720 that they do. 153 00:09:37,279 --> 00:09:42,480 And they may be carrying a lot of internal baggage and not 154 00:09:42,480 --> 00:09:45,759 realizing that they're carrying a lot of internal baggage, and 155 00:09:45,759 --> 00:09:49,679 it creates certain around how they approach the people in 156 00:09:49,679 --> 00:09:52,720 their organization, the people that they report to, the people 157 00:09:52,720 --> 00:09:55,360 that report to them, their peers, and all of that. 158 00:09:55,919 --> 00:09:57,759 Let's start with this question. 159 00:09:58,000 --> 00:10:02,320 How do you help those type of leaders, those high performer 160 00:10:02,320 --> 00:10:07,039 leaders in these organizations regain self-trust within 161 00:10:07,039 --> 00:10:11,120 themselves so that they can lead effectively moving forward? 162 00:10:11,519 --> 00:10:16,320 SPEAKER_00: I think this is a question that holds an awful lot 163 00:10:16,320 --> 00:10:18,559 of depth, actually, to it. 164 00:10:19,039 --> 00:10:22,159 And interestingly, I was working with one of my clients just 165 00:10:22,159 --> 00:10:27,600 earlier this morning around this very thing, and there's a number 166 00:10:27,600 --> 00:10:28,480 of things. 167 00:10:28,720 --> 00:10:36,240 I think where I absolutely want to start is our biology and 168 00:10:36,240 --> 00:10:43,039 emotional state, because building and reconnecting to our 169 00:10:43,039 --> 00:10:51,120 own trust in self will require some kind of foundations. 170 00:10:52,159 --> 00:10:56,240 So this is very fundamental, but it's really important. 171 00:10:56,320 --> 00:10:58,960 It'd be so easy for me to skip over this. 172 00:10:59,279 --> 00:11:02,720 And so one of the first things that I would always do with my 173 00:11:02,720 --> 00:11:08,080 clients is check in, first of all, in terms of their own 174 00:11:08,399 --> 00:11:09,759 personal ecosystem. 175 00:11:09,840 --> 00:11:13,360 And what I mean by that is the stuff that's going on inside of 176 00:11:13,360 --> 00:11:17,039 them, like inside of their skin, whether it's sleep or daylight 177 00:11:17,200 --> 00:11:22,080 or nature or movement, or whether there's illness there or 178 00:11:22,080 --> 00:11:27,039 pain or kind of anything like that could be impacting how they 179 00:11:27,039 --> 00:11:31,840 are feeling from uh that sort of inside my own skin kind of 180 00:11:31,840 --> 00:11:32,799 situation. 181 00:11:33,279 --> 00:11:36,480 And then also from an emotional point of view, because we don't 182 00:11:36,480 --> 00:11:41,039 operate in these vacuums of just inside of our skin, there's also 183 00:11:41,279 --> 00:11:45,840 people and things around us that impact us and impact how we 184 00:11:45,840 --> 00:11:46,320 feel. 185 00:11:46,480 --> 00:11:51,200 And so, is there any emotional dysregulation occurring there? 186 00:11:51,759 --> 00:11:59,360 Because if there is being able to support both mood and emotion 187 00:12:00,159 --> 00:12:06,320 and help people to feel and be in a better resource place with 188 00:12:06,320 --> 00:12:11,679 greater capacity then to do the work around self-trust is such 189 00:12:11,919 --> 00:12:13,840 an important foundation. 190 00:12:14,320 --> 00:12:20,399 So I would always start there, what's going on, and then it 191 00:12:20,399 --> 00:12:25,600 would really come to for me, I find understanding what people 192 00:12:25,919 --> 00:12:30,480 want, and sometimes they don't know what they want, helping 193 00:12:30,480 --> 00:12:34,240 them to express that in such a way that is in the positive, 194 00:12:34,480 --> 00:12:39,600 because so often clients will go into what they don't want rather 195 00:12:39,600 --> 00:12:40,799 than what they do. 196 00:12:41,120 --> 00:12:44,799 So helping them focus on the positive and getting really 197 00:12:44,799 --> 00:12:48,559 clear, I often think of it like an archery target. 198 00:12:48,639 --> 00:12:52,320 Like, how are you gonna hit that thing that you want if you're 199 00:12:52,320 --> 00:12:53,919 not really clear on it? 200 00:12:54,159 --> 00:12:55,840 So getting clear on that. 201 00:12:56,000 --> 00:12:58,960 The other thing that I find comes up a lot with clients to 202 00:12:58,960 --> 00:13:04,000 watch out for is that what they want, they're not necessarily in 203 00:13:04,000 --> 00:13:04,480 control of. 204 00:13:05,120 --> 00:13:09,120 I want my team to be more engaged, I want to be better 205 00:13:09,120 --> 00:13:13,840 recognized by my bosses or my peers, or so again, putting them 206 00:13:13,840 --> 00:13:17,679 into that powerful driving seat of well, no, this is something 207 00:13:17,679 --> 00:13:19,519 we're setting you up for success for. 208 00:13:19,600 --> 00:13:26,320 So this has got to be an outcome that you have control over, and 209 00:13:26,559 --> 00:13:31,200 and then looking at values, why, and this leads into your 210 00:13:31,200 --> 00:13:31,919 framework. 211 00:13:32,080 --> 00:13:36,000 One, being aware, as I've been talking about, of what's inside 212 00:13:36,000 --> 00:13:38,000 my skin and what's affecting me. 213 00:13:38,240 --> 00:13:40,399 And then two, why? 214 00:13:40,639 --> 00:13:43,679 Like why and why is this so important? 215 00:13:43,840 --> 00:13:45,360 And it comes back, doesn't it? 216 00:13:45,440 --> 00:13:47,840 And I know you've had lots of conversations with lots of other 217 00:13:47,840 --> 00:13:53,200 guests around values, and and so values are just generalizations 218 00:13:53,200 --> 00:13:55,360 of experiences that are important to us. 219 00:13:55,600 --> 00:13:56,960 But what are those? 220 00:13:57,120 --> 00:13:58,960 Why do you want that outcome? 221 00:13:59,200 --> 00:14:02,960 What is it that outcome allows you to experience that's so 222 00:14:02,960 --> 00:14:04,240 important to you? 223 00:14:04,799 --> 00:14:09,120 And let's get clear on that your hierarchy of those values, the 224 00:14:09,120 --> 00:14:12,799 criteria with which you're you know you're going to meet those 225 00:14:12,799 --> 00:14:15,039 values, because we all have different criteria. 226 00:14:15,200 --> 00:14:18,000 You and I might share a value of connection, but how you 227 00:14:18,000 --> 00:14:22,080 experience and and get that value different to mine, my 228 00:14:22,080 --> 00:14:23,039 criteria for it. 229 00:14:23,200 --> 00:14:28,159 So being really clear on those those on those things, and and 230 00:14:28,399 --> 00:14:29,759 helping people then. 231 00:14:29,919 --> 00:14:33,759 Oh, this is another client that I finished a coaching season 232 00:14:33,759 --> 00:14:35,039 with last week. 233 00:14:35,679 --> 00:14:38,639 This was so beautiful because you're talking about that 234 00:14:38,639 --> 00:14:45,360 self-trust, and it this is how it happened for him, and that 235 00:14:45,360 --> 00:14:50,960 was that connected to those values and then understanding 236 00:14:50,960 --> 00:14:53,759 the qualities and characteristics that he could 237 00:14:53,759 --> 00:14:58,000 bring within his control to each and every moment, whether that 238 00:14:58,000 --> 00:15:03,360 was as a leader, as a husband, as a father, and choosing 239 00:15:03,519 --> 00:15:08,240 intentionally moment to bring those characteristics, there was 240 00:15:08,240 --> 00:15:13,840 then a there was a quiet evolution of who he became in 241 00:15:14,159 --> 00:15:14,799 that time. 242 00:15:15,840 --> 00:15:21,360 And as he chose moment to moment to vote for the person that he 243 00:15:21,360 --> 00:15:25,120 said he wanted to be, as a father, as a leader, as a 244 00:15:25,120 --> 00:15:29,200 husband, he built that inner trust and that congruence and 245 00:15:29,200 --> 00:15:36,559 that alignment with his values, and so emerges a different 246 00:15:36,559 --> 00:15:38,559 version of that individual. 247 00:15:39,200 --> 00:15:40,639 SPEAKER_02: Absolutely. 248 00:15:41,679 --> 00:15:47,919 In a short way, and how Mo Coach Mo describes that, you helped 249 00:15:47,919 --> 00:15:49,759 that client get his swag. 250 00:15:50,320 --> 00:15:55,519 He reclaimed his swag, self-awareness, why power, 251 00:15:55,759 --> 00:15:57,919 aligned action, and grit. 252 00:15:58,320 --> 00:16:03,840 That's amazing, and I really do appreciate you highlighting the 253 00:16:03,840 --> 00:16:08,480 values because when we look at these organizations, they do 254 00:16:08,480 --> 00:16:12,639 have structured mission statements, vision, core values, 255 00:16:12,960 --> 00:16:14,559 strategic planning. 256 00:16:14,879 --> 00:16:20,720 But for the leaders within that structure, how aligned are they 257 00:16:21,039 --> 00:16:21,679 with it? 258 00:16:22,480 --> 00:16:28,240 And people like you or myself, coaches, advisors, consultants, 259 00:16:28,559 --> 00:16:34,159 counselors, mentors, how do we help these leaders get into 260 00:16:34,159 --> 00:16:35,360 alignment, right? 261 00:16:35,519 --> 00:16:39,440 And one of the things that you mentioned, which I love, is 262 00:16:39,440 --> 00:16:46,559 values, and we often get distracted by the frustrations 263 00:16:46,559 --> 00:16:49,440 of what we're dealing with in key moments within 264 00:16:49,440 --> 00:16:52,159 organizations, whether it's change, whether it's 265 00:16:52,320 --> 00:16:57,039 bureaucracy, whether it's budget cuts, all of that becomes a 266 00:16:57,039 --> 00:17:01,840 distraction away from what your purpose is in those key moments, 267 00:17:02,000 --> 00:17:03,360 and you forget about it. 268 00:17:03,440 --> 00:17:09,440 And so you move into this lane of worry, fear, doubt, 269 00:17:10,079 --> 00:17:15,599 uncertainty, and that generates these natural limiting beliefs, 270 00:17:15,839 --> 00:17:18,480 these assumptions, these interpretations, and more 271 00:17:18,480 --> 00:17:22,799 importantly, that inner critic that's showing up to try to 272 00:17:22,799 --> 00:17:24,559 guard your ego, right? 273 00:17:24,799 --> 00:17:29,359 And you create this narrative that might not necessarily be 274 00:17:29,359 --> 00:17:30,720 true about self. 275 00:17:30,960 --> 00:17:34,480 And so you're distracted away from those values, and you're 276 00:17:34,480 --> 00:17:39,599 stagnant, and you're wondering why I can't make any type of 277 00:17:39,599 --> 00:17:45,680 movement, why do I feel this overwhelm, this overwhelming 278 00:17:46,000 --> 00:17:47,519 sense of being? 279 00:17:47,839 --> 00:17:52,799 Why am I hesitant to make certain key decisions? 280 00:17:53,119 --> 00:17:58,640 It's because, in my opinion, misalignment from our values in 281 00:17:58,640 --> 00:18:03,920 that moment, and listening to you, you help these leaders 282 00:18:04,240 --> 00:18:09,359 naturally reconnect to that by starting with the biological 283 00:18:09,359 --> 00:18:12,799 standpoint of it all, which is great, and I admire that, and 284 00:18:12,799 --> 00:18:14,319 that's what this is all about. 285 00:18:14,559 --> 00:18:20,960 And lastly, it's like I really believe that we all need some 286 00:18:21,279 --> 00:18:24,240 sort of operating system. 287 00:18:24,799 --> 00:18:28,240 What I mean like by that is that's what swag is. 288 00:18:28,319 --> 00:18:34,160 That's a framework that reminds me really quick, I'm off. 289 00:18:34,720 --> 00:18:35,359 I'm off. 290 00:18:35,440 --> 00:18:37,119 That's the word swag, I'm off. 291 00:18:37,359 --> 00:18:39,920 When my swag is off, how do I get back on? 292 00:18:40,240 --> 00:18:40,799 Right? 293 00:18:41,039 --> 00:18:44,799 Maybe it is the values, maybe it is a particular action that I 294 00:18:44,799 --> 00:18:46,240 need to take right now. 295 00:18:46,480 --> 00:18:50,799 Maybe it's reminding myself, the self-awareness piece, that I am 296 00:18:50,799 --> 00:18:52,160 off in this moment. 297 00:18:52,319 --> 00:18:58,319 But whatever it is, we need some sort of operating system, 298 00:18:58,559 --> 00:19:02,240 leadership operating system, because when we come up through 299 00:19:02,240 --> 00:19:06,640 the ranks of leadership, we're not really taught how to 300 00:19:06,640 --> 00:19:09,440 regulate self in key moments. 301 00:19:09,680 --> 00:19:14,559 And we are naturally on autopilot just reacting because 302 00:19:14,559 --> 00:19:19,279 we're never taught on how to regulate self to that level. 303 00:19:19,599 --> 00:19:22,319 And what are your thoughts about that? 304 00:19:22,640 --> 00:19:26,799 Having an operating system, a leader, a leadership operating 305 00:19:26,799 --> 00:19:32,400 system for self to self-regulate in key moments in your 306 00:19:32,400 --> 00:19:35,200 leadership while leading others. 307 00:19:36,160 --> 00:19:39,440 SPEAKER_00: There's one framework that in my 20 years of 308 00:19:39,440 --> 00:19:42,799 being healthily obsessed with personal development, that I 309 00:19:42,799 --> 00:19:46,240 come back to time and time again for this, because for me, it 310 00:19:46,240 --> 00:19:49,279 incorporates the biology piece that we're talking around as 311 00:19:49,279 --> 00:19:53,359 well as the positive psychology piece, which is also so 312 00:19:53,359 --> 00:19:56,640 important and that reframing and that regulating that you're 313 00:19:56,640 --> 00:19:57,519 talking about. 314 00:19:57,759 --> 00:20:01,599 And it's a model that I've learned from working with 315 00:20:01,599 --> 00:20:03,200 Professor Chris Beattie. 316 00:20:03,599 --> 00:20:07,279 He is professor of evolutionary anthropology, cognition, and 317 00:20:07,279 --> 00:20:10,720 neuroscience at both Oxford and Kent universities here in the 318 00:20:10,720 --> 00:20:11,359 UK. 319 00:20:11,839 --> 00:20:14,960 And his model is called the four R model. 320 00:20:15,599 --> 00:20:19,200 And so it is in at its simplest four Rs. 321 00:20:19,279 --> 00:20:21,759 And those four R's are recognize. 322 00:20:21,920 --> 00:20:23,359 Hey, what, guess what, mate? 323 00:20:23,759 --> 00:20:24,880 Self-aware. 324 00:20:25,359 --> 00:20:27,839 So the first R is to recognize. 325 00:20:28,160 --> 00:20:32,559 The second one is if it recognize how you're feeling, if 326 00:20:32,559 --> 00:20:34,960 it's mood related, how do you restore mood? 327 00:20:35,119 --> 00:20:38,079 So that's all the biology side of things that we were talking 328 00:20:38,079 --> 00:20:41,440 about, whether that's food, whether that's hydration, 329 00:20:41,599 --> 00:20:45,200 daylight, nature, movement, all of that kind of good stuff. 330 00:20:45,440 --> 00:20:46,160 Restore. 331 00:20:46,400 --> 00:20:47,519 Are you well restored? 332 00:20:47,680 --> 00:20:50,480 Most of us take a pay a lot of attention to making sure our 333 00:20:50,480 --> 00:20:51,920 devices are fully charged. 334 00:20:52,079 --> 00:20:54,079 But are we fully charged? 335 00:20:54,160 --> 00:20:57,119 And is it anything in our biology that's affecting that? 336 00:20:57,359 --> 00:21:02,000 So second one is third one is it's not necessarily in this 337 00:21:02,000 --> 00:21:03,920 order, but third one is right, okay. 338 00:21:04,000 --> 00:21:07,519 If I've recognized I'm off, checking in, do I need to 339 00:21:07,519 --> 00:21:10,799 restore mood, or is this emotionally led? 340 00:21:11,279 --> 00:21:14,799 Something has happened that has impacted me, there's an issue, 341 00:21:14,880 --> 00:21:17,599 or I didn't like the way that person spoke to me, or I've got 342 00:21:17,599 --> 00:21:18,880 a challenge here. 343 00:21:19,279 --> 00:21:23,519 And how can I third hour resolve that? 344 00:21:24,240 --> 00:21:28,799 And if I can't restore or resolve immediately, then how do 345 00:21:28,799 --> 00:21:29,759 I regulate? 346 00:21:30,000 --> 00:21:33,119 And I might be tired because the kids had kept me up, so I 347 00:21:33,119 --> 00:21:37,680 regulate with a cup of coffee in the morning, or I've got an 348 00:21:37,680 --> 00:21:41,519 incredibly challenging, stressful time from a work 349 00:21:41,519 --> 00:21:42,400 perspective. 350 00:21:42,640 --> 00:21:47,200 And actually, I reframe that in my head by asking better 351 00:21:47,200 --> 00:21:52,400 questions or by just shifting my physiology and my focus, and 352 00:21:52,400 --> 00:21:55,839 ultimately back to Victor Frankel man's search for 353 00:21:55,839 --> 00:21:56,079 meaning. 354 00:21:56,319 --> 00:21:58,559 That what does this situation mean? 355 00:21:58,720 --> 00:21:59,759 And recognizing that. 356 00:22:00,160 --> 00:22:01,119 I get to choose that. 357 00:22:01,200 --> 00:22:02,559 This is what you were talking about. 358 00:22:02,720 --> 00:22:05,440 That we do operate on autopilot. 359 00:22:05,519 --> 00:22:10,559 But the reality is that if we choose to as leaders, moment to 360 00:22:10,559 --> 00:22:15,279 moment, every single moment, we get the opportunity to choose 361 00:22:15,279 --> 00:22:19,680 and decide how we want to show up and who we want to be. 362 00:22:20,000 --> 00:22:23,599 And that does take huge executive brain power, which is 363 00:22:23,599 --> 00:22:26,559 why I talk about making sure we're fully restored, because 364 00:22:26,720 --> 00:22:29,839 trying to do that on an under-restored battery of 365 00:22:29,839 --> 00:22:31,200 yourself is very challenging. 366 00:22:31,359 --> 00:22:32,799 You're trying to put water up in. 367 00:22:33,519 --> 00:22:38,000 But for me, that four-arm model is incredibly useful. 368 00:22:38,079 --> 00:22:41,839 And the idea is that you only go to regulate ideally, not too 369 00:22:41,839 --> 00:22:47,039 often, only when you have to, and you get back to restoring 370 00:22:47,039 --> 00:22:52,480 and resolving as much as you can so that you're then operating 371 00:22:52,480 --> 00:22:56,240 within the parameters within which you can operate at your 372 00:22:56,240 --> 00:22:57,200 best as a leader. 373 00:22:57,359 --> 00:23:00,400 So I come back to that model time and time again. 374 00:23:00,640 --> 00:23:02,720 I think it's incredibly helpful. 375 00:23:03,200 --> 00:23:06,480 SPEAKER_02: When you're able to do that, you naturally show up 376 00:23:07,119 --> 00:23:12,319 more effectively in the way that you model the way. 377 00:23:12,640 --> 00:23:12,960 Right? 378 00:23:13,359 --> 00:23:17,279 Because what you say, restore and resolve, when you can 379 00:23:17,279 --> 00:23:21,599 effectively do that, you're modeling a way for your team to 380 00:23:21,599 --> 00:23:27,279 follow naturally, naturally, because with that, there has to 381 00:23:27,279 --> 00:23:33,279 be alignment with values, purpose, because you're having 382 00:23:33,279 --> 00:23:38,160 those conversations within self naturally through your thought 383 00:23:38,160 --> 00:23:39,599 processes, right? 384 00:23:40,000 --> 00:23:45,359 Because it all happens in the pause, it happens in the pause, 385 00:23:45,599 --> 00:23:47,440 and that's what we have to do. 386 00:23:47,680 --> 00:23:50,079 Effectively pause. 387 00:23:50,559 --> 00:23:52,079 Remember to pause. 388 00:23:52,160 --> 00:23:56,720 And when the pause is present, there's self-reflection involved 389 00:23:56,720 --> 00:23:57,200 in that. 390 00:23:57,359 --> 00:24:03,039 And within self-reflection, there's identification of our 391 00:24:03,039 --> 00:24:05,200 values indirectly. 392 00:24:05,440 --> 00:24:08,720 You may not be thinking, what is my value in this moment? 393 00:24:09,200 --> 00:24:13,759 But there's a connectivity that we feel through our instincts, 394 00:24:13,839 --> 00:24:20,079 through our spirits that's regulating us to feel that to 395 00:24:20,079 --> 00:24:22,400 make decisions and do that. 396 00:24:25,200 --> 00:24:26,559 SPEAKER_00: Yeah, that power to change. 397 00:24:26,799 --> 00:24:31,279 You're sharing this, and what comes to mind is a really 398 00:24:32,480 --> 00:24:34,720 everyday kind of story. 399 00:24:35,039 --> 00:24:40,720 So this happened to me not that long ago. 400 00:24:40,960 --> 00:24:46,400 So I've got two fairly young boys, and I'd finished, I'd been 401 00:24:46,400 --> 00:24:52,400 working late, and I was finishing up, and I was looking 402 00:24:52,400 --> 00:24:56,559 forward to getting myself tucked up in bed, reading a bit of my 403 00:24:56,559 --> 00:25:00,400 favorite book, and just relaxing, winding down for the 404 00:25:00,400 --> 00:25:02,000 evening and going to sleep. 405 00:25:02,240 --> 00:25:05,920 And my husband gets up very early for work, and so he was 406 00:25:05,920 --> 00:25:09,680 already in bed and tucked up and asleep. 407 00:25:10,160 --> 00:25:15,279 And I walked into our bedroom, and our youngest son was curled 408 00:25:15,279 --> 00:25:17,200 up in bed next to him. 409 00:25:17,920 --> 00:25:24,640 And in that moment, my instinct was, and the immediate emotion, 410 00:25:25,039 --> 00:25:29,279 the immediate thought process and thought chatter was, oh 411 00:25:29,440 --> 00:25:31,200 gosh, can't believe he's here. 412 00:25:31,359 --> 00:25:34,880 I just wanted to have that moment to myself, and now I 413 00:25:34,880 --> 00:25:36,319 can't even get into bed. 414 00:25:36,559 --> 00:25:41,440 And then I caught myself because, as you say, it's in the 415 00:25:41,440 --> 00:25:42,079 pause. 416 00:25:42,400 --> 00:25:47,359 I caught myself, I recognized, or I was self-aware back to the 417 00:25:47,359 --> 00:25:48,160 swag model. 418 00:25:48,319 --> 00:25:50,640 I was recognizing that thought process. 419 00:25:51,039 --> 00:25:54,640 And in that moment, and in that pause and that recognition, I 420 00:25:54,640 --> 00:25:58,480 was able to ask myself, what do I want my son to remember from 421 00:25:58,480 --> 00:25:59,119 this moment? 422 00:26:00,000 --> 00:26:05,920 And so I climbed into bed next to him and I wrapped my arms 423 00:26:05,920 --> 00:26:06,880 around him. 424 00:26:07,759 --> 00:26:13,039 And I just had this beautiful moment of love and connection 425 00:26:13,359 --> 00:26:16,880 because they are my top values. 426 00:26:17,440 --> 00:26:18,400 SPEAKER_02: Absolutely. 427 00:26:18,720 --> 00:26:24,079 How do we teach more leaders to do that in real time? 428 00:26:24,799 --> 00:26:26,880 That's the million-dollar question. 429 00:26:27,200 --> 00:26:29,039 And we have the answers. 430 00:26:29,200 --> 00:26:33,920 It's just, in my opinion, getting in front of them more 431 00:26:33,920 --> 00:26:38,480 often to share this awareness with them, to help them 432 00:26:38,480 --> 00:26:40,720 rediscover this for themselves. 433 00:26:40,880 --> 00:26:46,160 And I think that's the art of what we do as coaches and 434 00:26:46,160 --> 00:26:47,119 consultants. 435 00:26:47,519 --> 00:26:54,960 We we help people more so rediscover or self-discover that 436 00:26:54,960 --> 00:26:57,920 they have that piece of them within self. 437 00:26:58,799 --> 00:26:59,599 It exists. 438 00:26:59,759 --> 00:27:03,119 We're connecting them, helping them connect the dots within 439 00:27:03,119 --> 00:27:03,359 self. 440 00:27:03,519 --> 00:27:06,640 I think it's amazing the work that you do. 441 00:27:06,960 --> 00:27:08,480 I think it's amazing. 442 00:27:08,720 --> 00:27:13,039 And I encourage you to keep pressing forward. 443 00:27:13,279 --> 00:27:16,640 I know you are, because you're passionate about the work you do 444 00:27:16,640 --> 00:27:17,039 anyway. 445 00:27:17,119 --> 00:27:19,119 But I just wanted to throw that out there. 446 00:27:19,759 --> 00:27:20,880 SPEAKER_00: Oh no, thank you. 447 00:27:21,039 --> 00:27:24,000 And likewise for you, this sort of feels a bit like Kinder 448 00:27:24,160 --> 00:27:27,359 Spirits, our conversation, because I know we're so aligned 449 00:27:27,359 --> 00:27:28,480 on a lot of this stuff. 450 00:27:28,640 --> 00:27:32,640 And to your question about how do we teach this, you're saying 451 00:27:32,640 --> 00:27:34,319 it's the million-dollar question. 452 00:27:34,799 --> 00:27:37,680 And I'd love to get your perspective on this as well, as 453 00:27:37,680 --> 00:27:40,960 we almost like share coaching notes with one another today. 454 00:27:41,119 --> 00:27:48,319 But one of the ways I find really helpful is one, I get um, 455 00:27:48,640 --> 00:27:54,160 if I can make it relevant to a specific example that individual 456 00:27:54,160 --> 00:27:59,119 has experienced, perhaps it was something where they weren't 457 00:27:59,119 --> 00:28:02,720 happy with something, the ex the story that I just told. 458 00:28:02,880 --> 00:28:05,039 And how did they want to feel instead? 459 00:28:05,119 --> 00:28:08,960 And then almost like putting a slow motion camera on it to help 460 00:28:08,960 --> 00:28:12,720 them realize and recognize what might have been some of your 461 00:28:12,720 --> 00:28:15,680 other choices there, other choices that you could have made 462 00:28:15,680 --> 00:28:19,200 around how you spoke with yourself, around the focus that 463 00:28:19,200 --> 00:28:22,079 you that you put, around the questions that you asked 464 00:28:22,079 --> 00:28:25,039 yourself, and ultimately what that situation meant. 465 00:28:25,200 --> 00:28:28,319 Is this mean that, did this situation mean that, oh gosh, 466 00:28:28,400 --> 00:28:32,559 I'm gonna go to bed even more tired and I can't get to do what 467 00:28:32,559 --> 00:28:33,119 I want? 468 00:28:33,359 --> 00:28:39,279 Or is this an opportunity for me to learn to grow and to step 469 00:28:39,279 --> 00:28:43,359 into the woman and the mother that I most want to be and to 470 00:28:43,359 --> 00:28:46,480 experience more of my my highest values? 471 00:28:46,720 --> 00:28:50,799 And I think when somebody gets the opportunity to take 472 00:28:50,799 --> 00:28:54,559 something that they are specifically experiencing or had 473 00:28:54,559 --> 00:28:59,440 experienced and dissect it almost in that way. 474 00:28:59,599 --> 00:29:03,839 And then one of the things I love for my clients to do, and I 475 00:29:03,839 --> 00:29:08,480 wish more of them did this with me more often, is when something 476 00:29:08,480 --> 00:29:13,359 comes up, don't wait for our next session to tell me about 477 00:29:13,359 --> 00:29:14,079 the thing. 478 00:29:14,400 --> 00:29:19,519 Get in touch and let's deal with it now as much as we can in the 479 00:29:19,519 --> 00:29:19,839 moment. 480 00:29:20,799 --> 00:29:25,599 And I just find that that sort of repetitive pulling the client 481 00:29:25,599 --> 00:29:27,440 back to do you see what's happening here? 482 00:29:27,599 --> 00:29:30,880 What choices are you making, even when they're in the calls 483 00:29:30,880 --> 00:29:32,000 with us as well? 484 00:29:32,319 --> 00:29:36,319 That for me is then that's what builds that self-awareness and 485 00:29:36,319 --> 00:29:40,400 enables them to be more aware when they're on their own of 486 00:29:40,400 --> 00:29:43,279 those decisions and to make different choices in the pause, 487 00:29:43,359 --> 00:29:44,640 as you so beautifully put it. 488 00:29:44,720 --> 00:29:47,599 But no, I'd love to know for you what does yeah, what happens 489 00:29:47,599 --> 00:29:48,400 with your clients. 490 00:29:48,480 --> 00:29:49,039 Yeah. 491 00:29:49,440 --> 00:29:52,079 SPEAKER_02: I think the most powerful thing that I can do, 492 00:29:52,400 --> 00:29:55,839 clients memory from what I do with them, that they do with 493 00:29:55,839 --> 00:29:59,759 their staff and their teams, is to meet them where they are, 494 00:30:00,240 --> 00:30:02,079 just starting there, right? 495 00:30:02,240 --> 00:30:07,279 Meeting them where they are and asking just powerful questions, 496 00:30:07,680 --> 00:30:08,000 right? 497 00:30:08,559 --> 00:30:16,799 Because they experience me being present where they are, and it's 498 00:30:16,799 --> 00:30:17,680 a great experience. 499 00:30:17,839 --> 00:30:21,920 They feel heard, they feel valued, they feel listened to, 500 00:30:22,640 --> 00:30:22,960 right? 501 00:30:23,440 --> 00:30:25,119 They feel connected. 502 00:30:26,000 --> 00:30:30,799 Okay, if you feel that way, how do you model it for your team 503 00:30:32,160 --> 00:30:37,279 through the coaching process, the self-discovery process, and 504 00:30:37,279 --> 00:30:40,400 how they're receiving and how they are regaining their 505 00:30:40,400 --> 00:30:44,240 confidence and how they're self-discovering certain 506 00:30:44,880 --> 00:30:48,640 elements of their leadership that they have forgotten because 507 00:30:48,640 --> 00:30:50,480 they were misaligned, right? 508 00:30:50,799 --> 00:30:53,519 They show up to do the same for their team. 509 00:30:53,759 --> 00:30:55,920 Oh go ahead. 510 00:30:56,640 --> 00:30:58,799 I want to capture that thought you I want to capture that 511 00:30:58,799 --> 00:30:58,960 thought. 512 00:31:00,000 --> 00:31:03,599 SPEAKER_00: So you you just said there about powerful questions. 513 00:31:04,319 --> 00:31:10,960 And naturally, as coaches, uh we we we can we perfect that, and 514 00:31:11,759 --> 00:31:15,039 perfection is not the right word at all, but we build our skill 515 00:31:15,039 --> 00:31:19,920 and mastery in being able to position, frame, and ask 516 00:31:19,920 --> 00:31:22,079 questions with people in such a way. 517 00:31:22,319 --> 00:31:24,880 But there is a real skill attached to that. 518 00:31:24,960 --> 00:31:30,480 And I wonder, I wonder if any of the leaders listening may be 519 00:31:30,480 --> 00:31:35,839 questioning how do I get better at asking those powerful 520 00:31:35,839 --> 00:31:42,000 questions that help unlock the insights, the perspectives, and 521 00:31:42,000 --> 00:31:45,920 help my teams to maybe see things differently or from 522 00:31:45,920 --> 00:31:48,240 another way or empower them more. 523 00:31:48,480 --> 00:31:52,079 And yeah, I guess I was just I was just curious about that when 524 00:31:52,079 --> 00:31:55,680 you brought up that idea of how questions questions they hijack 525 00:31:55,839 --> 00:31:56,720 our minds, right? 526 00:31:56,799 --> 00:32:00,640 And they can hijack our minds in a good way and in a not so good 527 00:32:00,640 --> 00:32:00,880 way. 528 00:32:01,039 --> 00:32:04,160 SPEAKER_02: So absolutely, absolutely, I agree 100%. 529 00:32:04,559 --> 00:32:07,759 But then you're talking about leaders, right? 530 00:32:07,839 --> 00:32:11,440 There, and when in particular high performing leaders, they're 531 00:32:11,440 --> 00:32:11,759 going. 532 00:32:12,000 --> 00:32:18,720 The piece about the coaching and modeling the way, there's a 533 00:32:18,720 --> 00:32:19,200 pause. 534 00:32:19,359 --> 00:32:20,400 You have to pause. 535 00:32:20,559 --> 00:32:24,319 And when they're in the coaching session with me, that's the 536 00:32:24,319 --> 00:32:24,640 pause. 537 00:32:24,799 --> 00:32:26,240 That's the pause, right? 538 00:32:26,480 --> 00:32:28,880 So, how do they mirror that with their team? 539 00:32:29,119 --> 00:32:32,160 Maybe it's a one-on-one meeting, that's the pause. 540 00:32:32,319 --> 00:32:35,680 Okay, so then within the one-on-one meeting, they've 541 00:32:35,680 --> 00:32:38,799 always been conditioned to check the boxes. 542 00:32:38,880 --> 00:32:40,480 We got to move, what's this, what's due? 543 00:32:40,720 --> 00:32:44,720 We gotta let's reframe that one-on-one to make it a pause 544 00:32:44,720 --> 00:32:45,920 for the employee. 545 00:32:46,160 --> 00:32:49,279 And how does that pause work for the employee? 546 00:32:49,519 --> 00:32:52,640 Be intentional about the questions that you're gonna ask 547 00:32:52,640 --> 00:32:58,160 going into the one-on-one, and maybe start with questions more 548 00:32:58,160 --> 00:32:59,920 so on how you're doing. 549 00:33:00,160 --> 00:33:05,279 Tell me more about your kids, your family, just those types of 550 00:33:05,279 --> 00:33:06,880 questions to build trust. 551 00:33:07,039 --> 00:33:09,119 And then putting it back on them. 552 00:33:09,359 --> 00:33:11,039 What support do you need? 553 00:33:11,279 --> 00:33:16,160 Tell me more of how I can help leverage certain frustrations 554 00:33:16,160 --> 00:33:20,559 that you might be carrying to help you propel through what you 555 00:33:20,559 --> 00:33:22,160 may be feeling in this moment. 556 00:33:22,319 --> 00:33:23,759 It's those types of questions. 557 00:33:23,920 --> 00:33:28,160 But it also, like you said, asking questions, it is a skill. 558 00:33:28,400 --> 00:33:30,240 And how do you develop skills? 559 00:33:30,480 --> 00:33:34,000 You practice, you have to practice, and anyone can 560 00:33:34,000 --> 00:33:35,599 practice asking questions. 561 00:33:35,920 --> 00:33:38,960 You can ask your spouse questions, right? 562 00:33:39,119 --> 00:33:44,640 And one of the other things that I do is I provide a tool, a list 563 00:33:44,640 --> 00:33:47,759 of questions, just open in the questions, about 50 of them. 564 00:33:48,000 --> 00:33:51,440 And I'm like, when you go home, practice. 565 00:33:51,599 --> 00:33:55,200 Take, don't try to memorize all the questions, just pick three. 566 00:33:55,440 --> 00:33:56,480 Be intentional. 567 00:33:56,720 --> 00:33:59,440 You're your spouse, your kid, somebody's gonna come home 568 00:33:59,440 --> 00:34:01,200 complaining about something. 569 00:34:01,680 --> 00:34:05,440 Those questions, and then see what type of response you get. 570 00:34:05,599 --> 00:34:09,440 Don't try to solve it for them, but just ask the question. 571 00:34:09,599 --> 00:34:10,559 And then they come back. 572 00:34:10,639 --> 00:34:13,280 And it was like, you know what, Mo, I love that. 573 00:34:13,519 --> 00:34:15,360 It actually started solving their own problem. 574 00:34:15,519 --> 00:34:16,880 I was like, absolutely. 575 00:34:17,039 --> 00:34:19,920 Now, how can you do more of that with your team? 576 00:34:20,239 --> 00:34:21,199 So let's pause. 577 00:34:27,920 --> 00:34:30,320 SPEAKER_00: Particularly on car journeys, and that they're great 578 00:34:30,320 --> 00:34:33,840 people to practice with because they won't let you filter things 579 00:34:33,840 --> 00:34:36,559 or overthink things, or they're just they're straight in the 580 00:34:36,559 --> 00:34:36,639 face. 581 00:34:37,039 --> 00:34:37,519 Absolutely. 582 00:34:37,920 --> 00:34:38,320 SPEAKER_02: Absolutely. 583 00:34:39,360 --> 00:34:42,480 SPEAKER_00: One thing that came to my mind was I was thinking, 584 00:34:42,719 --> 00:34:48,159 gosh, I'm going back decades now, but when I first started to 585 00:34:48,159 --> 00:34:54,000 learn about coaching, I and many leaders may be familiar with 586 00:34:54,000 --> 00:34:57,760 this, which is the goal framework for coaching. 587 00:34:58,559 --> 00:35:02,239 Very I say goal, no, that's not it's grow, is what I actually 588 00:35:02,239 --> 00:35:02,559 meant to say. 589 00:35:02,719 --> 00:35:05,599 Gosh, that long since I've used it, but I use it, but just in 590 00:35:05,840 --> 00:35:10,079 it's just part of me, grow, which stands for a goal, 591 00:35:11,039 --> 00:35:15,199 reality, options, and then will or way forward. 592 00:35:15,280 --> 00:35:15,679 There you go. 593 00:35:15,760 --> 00:35:17,760 It's that long since I've used it in that format. 594 00:35:17,840 --> 00:35:22,639 That and I had a whole bunch of questions, again, those like 595 00:35:22,800 --> 00:35:27,519 headings, that was exceptionally helpful for me as I was earning 596 00:35:27,519 --> 00:35:28,800 my stripes and getting. 597 00:35:29,920 --> 00:35:32,639 And then the other framework, because I know you were talking 598 00:35:32,639 --> 00:35:35,519 to me about operating systems earlier, and the other framework 599 00:35:35,519 --> 00:35:39,920 that I also found really useful was the idea of, I don't know if 600 00:35:39,920 --> 00:35:42,559 you've ever heard of this, it's a little bit silly, but this 601 00:35:42,559 --> 00:35:45,760 idea of five bottoms on a rugby post. 602 00:35:45,920 --> 00:35:47,920 I know I'm gonna have to explain that. 603 00:35:49,119 --> 00:35:50,639 Have you ever heard of that mo? 604 00:35:51,199 --> 00:35:52,559 SPEAKER_02: No, no, not at all. 605 00:35:52,880 --> 00:35:54,960 SPEAKER_00: Okay, so okay, so what we've got to do is we've 606 00:35:54,960 --> 00:35:56,400 got to imagine a rugby post. 607 00:35:56,480 --> 00:35:59,280 So you know a rugby post is like an H, yeah. 608 00:35:59,440 --> 00:36:04,639 Yeah, and then we're gonna imagine five bottoms or five W's 609 00:36:04,639 --> 00:36:06,639 on that rugby post. 610 00:36:07,360 --> 00:36:12,400 And essentially it's standing for the who, what, when, where, 611 00:36:12,559 --> 00:36:15,199 why, and then the rugby post is the how. 612 00:36:15,679 --> 00:36:19,360 So starting your questions from that open frame, who, what, 613 00:36:19,440 --> 00:36:21,039 when, where, why, and how. 614 00:36:21,679 --> 00:36:24,079 And that's the five bottoms on a rugby post. 615 00:36:24,159 --> 00:36:25,360 Uh, operating system. 616 00:36:25,440 --> 00:36:27,920 I'm not sure if we can call it that, but anyway, there was one 617 00:36:27,920 --> 00:36:29,280 that I love that. 618 00:36:29,519 --> 00:36:30,960 SPEAKER_02: You just be a visual. 619 00:36:31,280 --> 00:36:34,079 I can see how that can be so powerful for a person, 620 00:36:34,239 --> 00:36:36,960 particularly a person that's into sports, right? 621 00:36:37,199 --> 00:36:40,800 It can help them pause to remember in the convert in the 622 00:36:40,800 --> 00:36:42,079 conversation in real time. 623 00:36:42,239 --> 00:36:43,519 Okay, let me dig it up. 624 00:36:43,679 --> 00:36:44,480 The rugby post. 625 00:36:50,880 --> 00:36:51,760 No, that's great. 626 00:36:51,920 --> 00:36:55,039 I really do appreciate this conversation that we had today. 627 00:36:55,280 --> 00:36:59,039 Before we check out, how can my audience find you? 628 00:36:59,760 --> 00:37:01,920 SPEAKER_00: Oh, that's very generous of you to ask. 629 00:37:02,000 --> 00:37:05,199 So the best way to connect, and I love if this is any of this 630 00:37:05,199 --> 00:37:07,760 has resonated, I love it when people reach out to me. 631 00:37:07,920 --> 00:37:11,840 The best way is through my website, which is elevar.co.uk, 632 00:37:12,079 --> 00:37:14,239 and that's spelt e-l-l-ev. 633 00:37:15,519 --> 00:37:19,039 But all the links and resources, and there's a whole bunch of 634 00:37:19,039 --> 00:37:19,519 stuff there. 635 00:37:19,599 --> 00:37:22,480 But yeah, you can email me or connect with me directly on 636 00:37:22,480 --> 00:37:23,519 social from there. 637 00:37:23,920 --> 00:37:26,800 SPEAKER_02: We had such a great conversation today. 638 00:37:27,039 --> 00:37:29,679 Any lasting thoughts you would like to leave us with? 639 00:37:30,079 --> 00:37:31,360 SPEAKER_00: Oh gosh, haven't we? 640 00:37:31,519 --> 00:37:33,039 We've covered an awful lot. 641 00:37:33,280 --> 00:37:40,960 I think the one thing that we didn't get to talk about, and if 642 00:37:40,960 --> 00:37:44,880 I may quickly come back to this, and that is where you were 643 00:37:44,880 --> 00:37:49,760 talking about how organizations have their own set of values and 644 00:37:49,760 --> 00:37:55,679 how we as leaders are aligned to those, or not, maybe, and how we 645 00:37:55,679 --> 00:37:58,480 help leaders come into alignment with that. 646 00:37:59,360 --> 00:38:03,199 And a very quick story, but I was working with a senior 647 00:38:03,199 --> 00:38:08,639 leadership team last year, and we looked at their own 648 00:38:08,639 --> 00:38:14,000 individual leadership values, and because values are 649 00:38:14,320 --> 00:38:20,079 generalizations of things that are important to us, experiences 650 00:38:20,079 --> 00:38:24,079 that are important to us, once they were clear on their own 651 00:38:24,079 --> 00:38:28,639 values as leaders, we then looked at the company values, 652 00:38:28,800 --> 00:38:32,400 and I got them to interpret those company values in a way 653 00:38:32,400 --> 00:38:34,559 that was deeply meaningful for them. 654 00:38:34,880 --> 00:38:39,039 And when they started to call out how they were interpreting 655 00:38:39,039 --> 00:38:44,400 the company values in a way that felt deeply aligned for them, I 656 00:38:44,400 --> 00:38:49,599 literally, the hairs on my arms just stood up, and it was a real 657 00:38:49,599 --> 00:38:51,519 goose pimple kind of moment. 658 00:38:52,000 --> 00:38:55,920 And that's there is always a risk with that, that you do find 659 00:38:55,920 --> 00:38:59,599 that some leaders, their values may not be aligned to their 660 00:38:59,599 --> 00:39:00,559 organization. 661 00:39:00,800 --> 00:39:05,599 But this particular company was brave enough and courageous 662 00:39:05,599 --> 00:39:10,159 enough to be able to say, if that's the case, we deal, we 663 00:39:10,159 --> 00:39:13,119 deal with that, and maybe there's not a good fit here. 664 00:39:13,360 --> 00:39:16,480 But I really valued that organization for being 665 00:39:16,480 --> 00:39:20,559 courageous enough to lean into that work, and as a result, 666 00:39:20,639 --> 00:39:25,440 actually, what we ended up creating was a deep connection 667 00:39:25,440 --> 00:39:28,880 for that leadership team with the organization and the values 668 00:39:28,960 --> 00:39:32,400 and what they were doing, and I think that becomes so, so 669 00:39:32,400 --> 00:39:32,880 powerful. 670 00:39:33,039 --> 00:39:37,679 So I think there's absolutely a way for our individual values to 671 00:39:37,679 --> 00:39:41,280 align with company values and just to remember that it's not 672 00:39:41,280 --> 00:39:45,199 the words that are on a wall, but actually values really are 673 00:39:45,519 --> 00:39:48,719 generalizations of experiences that are important to us. 674 00:39:48,800 --> 00:39:53,119 And if you can relate to your company values and that's 675 00:39:53,119 --> 00:39:57,519 meaningful for you, then that's and in coming back to the swag 676 00:39:57,679 --> 00:40:01,039 model, that's an incredibly powerful reason why. 677 00:40:01,360 --> 00:40:02,239 SPEAKER_02: Mic drop. 678 00:40:02,480 --> 00:40:04,000 Boom, there it is. 679 00:40:04,400 --> 00:40:06,159 I appreciate you, Rachel. 680 00:40:06,320 --> 00:40:07,440 Thank you so much. 681 00:40:07,599 --> 00:40:09,679 What a powerful conversation today. 682 00:40:10,400 --> 00:40:12,239 SPEAKER_00: Mo, thank you for having me on the show. 683 00:40:12,320 --> 00:40:13,119 I've loved it. 684 00:40:13,760 --> 00:40:16,079 SPEAKER_02: That's another rep in the inner arena. 685 00:40:16,239 --> 00:40:19,360 You didn't just listen, you leveled up your swag. 686 00:40:19,679 --> 00:40:24,480 Self-awareness, why power, aligned action, and grip. 687 00:40:24,639 --> 00:40:28,960 If this hit home, share it, subscribe to the Let's Think 688 00:40:28,960 --> 00:40:32,960 About It podcast, and lock in with me on YouTube at Swag 689 00:40:33,199 --> 00:40:33,760 Coaching. 690 00:40:34,159 --> 00:40:39,199 Until next time, stay aware, lead with your why, act in 691 00:40:39,199 --> 00:40:41,599 alignment, and keep your grips going.