81 | STOP Second-Guessing Your Message: The One Question That Finally Breaks the Loop

Picture this feeling and tell me if you can relate. You are clear on an idea, you feel good about it, you've worked on it, and then you open your laptop to write about it, and your brain goes, Well, what if I'm wrong? What if people don't respond? You know what?

I think this is missing this additional angle. What if blah blah blah? And suddenly you are not clear anymore. You are stuck in the loop.

So you research, you journal, more research, and don't even get me started on using Chat GPT as your thinking partner. You basically are trying to think your way to certainty. The more you think, the more uncertain you become. So today I'm sharing the one question that actually breaks this loop.

Hello, my love. Welcome to Brand Confidence for Creative. Are you feeling stuck in a cycle of overthinking, trying to build your brand? I'm Eudinia, but you can call me P.

I'm a marketing and brand coach. I spent years stuck in the cycle of researching, hesitating, and hiding until I got clear on my voice and my message. In this podcast, I'll guide you through the strategies you need to get clear on what you want to say, build a personal brand that actually feels like you, and create consistent magnetic marketing. If you've ever thought, I know I have something to say, I just don't know how to say it, then you are in the right place.

So grab your coffee and let's dive in. A few years ago, I transitioned from podcast management to marketing strategy working with personal brands. And I was so uncertain about this move because I know growing my business as a podcast manager based on my income and the possibilities to grow, that meant becoming an agency that was the most profitable path. And that is not something I wanted to do because of so many reasons of working in agency world.

And also, it was the early days of AI, and I realized that moving forward, the pricing for the serving, the service I was offering, like the specific service, it was going to be dramatically lower in the market for the specific service I was providing. So I started deeping my toes in what I really loved, which was helping those podcasters, those personal brands, grow their business through marketing strategy, to specifically personal brand strategy. So I started posting on Instagram about marketing strategy, and then I would watch the post.

And if I didn't get engagement, I would think like, oh, see, this confirms said marketing strategy isn't my thing. I should go back to what I know, except that I don't want to do podcast management anymore. So I was like in this weird middle ground, and I was testing in in my mind, I was testing my positioning, but I was looking at one Instagram post as the basis for that test. And every time a post didn't perform, I would go back to the drawing board.

I would rethink my message, I would rethink my positioning, I would rethink everything because I thought that my lack of engagement meant that I had chosen the wrong direction. But what was really happening is that I wasn't actually committed to testing. I was in a way committed to proving myself wrong. So every piece of feedback or the lack of feedback that I got became confirmation bias that I should go back to hiding or that I shouldn't make this pivot.

And that was until I one day, you know, sitting down, journaling a lot, therapy, and I realized that I was not stuck because my positioning was wrong. I was stuck because I was not ready to be all in. I was hiding behind this testing while secretly hoping it would fail so I would have permission to quit. And realizing that and fixing that changed everything for me for my business.

Here's what I discovered. First, my problem wasn't that I had chosen the wrong industry or the wrong positioning. My problem was that I was confusing two separate things. First, the concept of testing and the concept of hiding.

And I know that dictionary-wise, you're like, I completely understand the difference between the two words, but in practice, they can be confused. They can look very similar because with testing, we are putting something out there and there is some commitment, but we don't have all the answers. We're gathering feedback over time. We are adjusting based on the patterns we see.

And then with with hiding, we think that we've decided. And then we sleep on it, and then we come back and change it again. And sure, we might think that we are putting things out there and testing, but really we're doing it half uh I'm not gonna say the word, half-heartedly, let's say, looking for um any reason really to make it not work so you can go back to whatever is safe. And they look very similar in the surface, but they feel completely different.

They are driven by different motivations. Because when you're testing, you are committed, committed to the test, committed to exploring. You are not looking for permission to quit because you know you're moving forward and you are testing this path with some type of commitment. And you can also be afraid, and and being afraid, that's where the confusion starts.

Because we mistake that fear for a big sign. And when you're hiding, you are hoping, right? You are hoping for quick confirmation. Quick confirmation almost never happens, though.

So if you're hoping for something fast, then you're hoping for the first sign of rejection to confirm that this was the wrong decision all along. And then we add meaning to the feeling of fear, right? Fear is no longer fear, is no longer normal. Fear, it is direction.

Fear is kind of like little G God guiding us through our process. So let me ask you, which one are you doing right now with your message? And the testing and the hiding, they can lead you to this loop that you are experiencing of second guessing your messaging. Because you can be in overthinking, which is constantly questioning and changing because you're afraid, because you're hiding, or it can lead you to refine because you've been testing.

Now you can make strategic adjustments based on real feedback and patterns. Not to say that you are ignoring your feelings, because how you feel about what you're doing, that's also part of the test. But feelings, it is just a marker, it is not the full picture. So, just to give you a couple of examples of how each one looks like, overthinking looks like posting once and checking for engagement obsessively.

Like you make an announcement and you wait for all the comments to say, like, this is amazing, I want it. How do I work with you? Also hearing one no or one lack of response and be being like sent back to the drawing board, constantly changing your message because something didn't work immediately, looking for confirmation that this was the wrong direction. And many people say, Oh, I never do that.

I'm I'm 100% in. But I see that whenever you have a new approach and you say, Oh, I've never done this, but I'm willing to try. No, you're not really willing to try. You are willing to take action and then wait for the first negative response to confirm your bias, as we said previously.

Also, you're waiting for certainty when you're overthinking. You're waiting for certainty before moving forward. And also you're hoping it fails, so you have permission to quit and you take yourself out of that uncomfortable place. But then refinement looks like putting your message out there with so much commitment.

Not forever, it's not a marriage, but you're committing to the process, to the future, to the outcome, to the learning. Refinement looks like feedback over time, not just one response. Refinement looks like noticing patterns and what's working, what's not working. Looks like adjusting based on real data, noticing obviously how your emotions are transformed over time, not just the spike of fear.

But maybe you felt a spike of fear and then you posted and it was so amazing because you saw your post out there. Maybe refinement also looks like staying committed to the direction, like generally committed. This is where I'm going. Maybe let me tweak this messaging, let me tweak that.

But I know that I'm going in that case towards personal brand strategy. And most importantly, with refinement, you are not looking for a reason to quit. And here's the difference: refinement is driven by curiosity, and overthinking is driven by fear. Curiosity and fear can both be present, right?

In both cases. You can be overthinking and you can be curious, and you can be refining and be afraid. But the question is who's driving the boat? One is all learning, the other one is looking up for escape routes.

So, how do you know which one you are doing right now? And this is the question, like the the one question that's gonna break the loop. Am I ready to test this or am I hiding? Because that question tells you everything.

If you are refining, you are ready to test. You are committed, you are not looking for permission to quit. But if you are overthinking, you are hiding. You are hoping it doesn't work, so you have an excuse to go back to what's safe.

You're hoping it doesn't work, so you can blame the algorithm and and this the situation of the country, finances, whatever, instead of saying that probably I'm doing something that's not working. It's not me, it's them. And here's the beautiful part is that there's no shame in admitting that you're hiding because sometimes you are not ready. And I think we don't talk enough about that.

We sometimes like we cannot be all the time out of our comfort zone. Sometimes we need to be in our comfort zone, adjust our comfort zone to then expand again. So we're not always ready to just go out and test. Sometimes you need more time, sometimes you do need to process past failures.

But when you're honest about it, you can do something about it. And that's what I love about this question. Because if you keep pretending that you're refining when you're really overthinking, you're going to be stuck forever. So ask yourself right now, am I ready to test this message or am I hiding?

If you're hiding, that's okay. But be honest about it. Again, as I said, maybe you need to process a failure. Maybe you need to build more confidence by doing something smaller that's not necessarily changing a message forward-facing.

Maybe you need to get clear on what success actually looks like. Maybe you're trying to pursue success that doesn't even align with what your soul's asking of you. And maybe you need to give yourself to be imperfect, and maybe you need to go through therapy and process that with the therapist. But if you're ready, then you refine based on real data.

And you don't let data mean anything other than information. It doesn't mean anything about your value, it doesn't mean anything about your importance in the marketplace or your purpose or your calling. Data is only information. You are staying committed until you have data to either continue down that path or switching lanes.

So here's what I want you to do this week. I want you to ask ask this one question. Am I ready to test this message or am I hiding? And be honest.

Don't look for the quote unquote right answer. This is not an exam. Just be truthful. If you're ready, then commit to a test period.

Say, this is how long I'm gonna test for, put it out there, gather real feedback and make changes, but continue moving forward. Don't pause, don't go quiet, don't go back. And if you're hiding, then get curious about why. What do you need to feel ready?

Now I created a free guide that's gonna help you get clear on your messaging. It's gonna get you get clear of the deep positioning that drives your messaging, and it's called the Obvious Choice Biobuilder. It gives you the positioning clarity so that you can move forward with all your choices. You can go to clearbiobuilder.

com or go to the show notes, the link's gonna be there. Go through this guide this week. If you want, send me a DM on Instagram and tell me, are you ready or are you hiding? And what's one thing that would help you feel more ready?

I read every single reply. Seriously, I love hearing from you. See you next week. Un beso.

I hope you enjoyed today's episode. If you loved it, don't keep it to yourself. Send it to a friend who's also trying to grow their brand without losing themselves in the process. Remember that sharing is good.

I used to overthink every post too. So if this episode gave you a little aha moment, just know you are not behind. You are building something real. See you back here soon for the next episode of Beto.