EPISODE 568- Own Your Signature Presence - Stop Chasing Approval and Start Owning Who You Are

Speaker A: Quit being the world's best kept secret. Your time is now.

Speaker B: Welcome to the Millionaire Woman show where we'll be discussing leadership, business, human potential inspiring you to live rich from the inside out, unlock your creativity, stretch out of your comfort zone, break through your barriers, take inspired action and achieve epic results. Now, here's your host, three time best selling author, speaker and certified executive coach, Deborah Kozowski.

Speaker A: Hello everyone, and welcome back to the Millionaire Woman Show. I'm your host, Deborah Kozowski, and today we're talking about something I believe is at the heart of confidence, leadership, influence and fulfillment. Your signature presence. Every single one of us has it. Not because of what we wear, not because of the titles we've earned, and not because of how many followers we have. It's a unique combination of our experiences, our values, our strengths, our energy, our perspective, and the way people feel when they're with us. Yet so many people spend their lives trying to become someone else. They ask, what do people want? How should I act? What should I say? How do I fit in? But before long, they're chasing expectation instead of living with intention. And there's a problem with that. You're chasing a moving target. The expectations of one person are different from another's. One person wants you to be more assertive. The other one wants you to be softer. One wants you to speak up. And another wants you to stay quiet. If your identity is built on pleasing everyone around you, you'll spend your life changing directions depending on who is standing in front of you. That's not influence. That's exhaustion. We learned to wear masks. Many of us didn't start out pretending. As children, we learned which behaviors received praise and which behaviors were the ones that were criticized. And maybe you were told you were too emotional, too ambitious, too quiet, too loud, too sensitive, too confident, too much. So. You adapted. You learned to edit yourself, to fit in, to belong. And while those adaptations may have helped you at one point in your life, many of them became barriers later, especially as leaders. Because leadership isn't about performing, it's presence. People don't follow perfection. They follow authenticity. Your presence often speaks before you do. Have you ever walked into a room and immediately felt someone's calm confidence? Or someone you made you feel seen or valued within minutes? That's presence. It's not charisma. It's congruence. And when your values, words and actions and intentions all align, that's trust. People trust that consistency. And when you're trying to be someone else, there's a tension when you're comfortable with yourself. People experience ease. They know what you stand for. That's leadership. Stop pretzelizing yourself. I sometimes joke with people that they twist themselves into pretzels trying to be everyone else wants them to be the problem. Nobody asked you to become someone else. And the people who are meant to work with you will. The people who are meant to learn from you, the people who are meant to hire you, they're looking for what you bring, not a copy of someone else. Think about the coaches, speakers, leaders, and mentors you admire. You don't admire them because they're perfect. You admire them because they're unmistakably themselves. See, comparison steals your presence. Comparison is sneaky. We compare our successes, our confidence, our businesses, our leadership, our, uh, speaking, our social media. And every comparison whispers the same lie. You're not enough. But comparison only measures appearances. It doesn't measure character. It doesn't measure resilience. It doesn't. It doesn't measure wisdom. And it certainly doesn't measure your unique contribution. Someone else's gifts don't diminish yours. Your signature presence is your advantage. We often think competitive advantage is another certification, another strategy, another accomplishment. And, of course, those things do matter. But what people remember most is how you made them feel. Did they feel heard, encouraged, inspired, respected, Safe enough to think differently? That's your presence, and no one else can duplicate this. I want to share with you some practical ways that you can really strengthen your signature presence. And if you're wondering how to do this, here's just a few ideas. First, know your values. When your decisions reflect your values, you stop chasing approval. Secondly, when you notice when you're performing, instead of showing up authentically, ask yourself, am I trying to impress or am trying to connect? Third, stop apologizing for your strengths. Whether or not you're thoughtful, bold, compassionate, strategic, humorous, deeply curious. Those qualities are part of your signature. Fourth, be comfortable with not being for everyone. And that might sound uncomfortable on its own. It's incredibly freeing. The goal isn't universal approval, it's meaningful connection. The world doesn't need another version of someone else. It needs a version of you that stopped asking for permission. This version leads with integrity, and this version trusts their instincts. This version isn't trying to earn belonging by changing who they are. Your signature presence already exists, and you simply have to stop hiding it. So here's the question I leave you with today. Where in your life have you been trying to become what other people think and want instead of fully embracing who you are already? Because I believe your greatest influence begins the moment you stop chasing approval and start owning your signature presence. Thank you for joining me here on the Millionaire Woman Show. I'd love for you to go over to my website, uh, www.debrakasowski. that is D E B R A K A S o w s k-I.com where you can learn more about me. And, uh, if you're interested in coaching, please send me a dm. And I would love if this episode, of course, resonates with you, share it with someone who needs a reminder that they're already enough and that they're making a meaningful difference. And until next time, remember, you lead from where you truly are. You give others permission to do the same. As Mohammed Gandhi said, be the change you wish to see in the world.

Speaker B: And.

Speaker A: And as always, go out and make today great.