Squiggly Careers · 2026-07-02 · 5 min
Key moments - from our scoring
Substance score
21 / 100
Five dimensions, 20 points each
Drawing from Celeste Headley's work on conversational dynamics, this episode dissects a common conversational habit that undermines effective listening. When someone shares a challenge - say, feeling overwhelmed and stressed - a shift response pivots the focus back to the listener's own experience ('Me too, I've been in back-to-back meetings'). While natural, this approach can feel dismissive and suggests false equivalence between different stressors. A support response instead deepens curiosity: 'That sounds really hard. How long have you been feeling like that?' or 'Talk me through what that looks like.' For managers conducting one-to-ones, coaches seeking genuine understanding, or any leader wanting to build psychological safety, recognizing and shifting this pattern matters. The episode argues that certain moments - when someone shares something difficult - call for removing yourself from the conversation and focusing entirely on the other person's world. This builds trust, prevents misguided assumptions, and demonstrates genuine interest. Sarah encourages listeners to audit their own conversational patterns over the coming week and consider practicing support responses intentionally with their teams.
A shift response redirects the conversation back to your own experience (e.g., 'Me too, I've been in back meetings all day'), while a support response deepens understanding through curious questions (e.g., 'That sounds really hard - tell me more about what that looks like'). Support responses show active listening and prevent false assumptions about shared experience.
Shift responses can feel dismissive because they assume your experience matches the other person's and pivot focus away from their struggle, making them feel less heard. They can also mask real differences - one person may be burned out while you've just had a stressful day.
Instead of sharing your own stress, try: 'That sounds really hard - how long have you been feeling like that?' or 'Talk to me a bit more about what that looks like' or 'Give me some examples of when it's feeling particularly hard.' The goal is to expand your understanding of their world without making assumptions.
Celeste Headley created the framework of shift versus support responses and gave a TED Talk called 'How to Have Better Conversations.' She's referenced as an expert on conversational dynamics and appeared on the Squiggly Careers podcast at episode 207.
Use support responses when someone is sharing something difficult or hard, or when you genuinely want to be supportive - essentially, moments where showing the other person is the most important thing in that conversation matters more than reciprocal sharing.
Our reviewer’s read on each dimension, with quotes from the episode.
The episode conveys exactly one concept (shift vs. support response) in five minutes with a single illustrative example. For a B2B operator, the idea is mildly useful for management conversations but there is no layering of ideas, no nuance, and substantial filler/hedging throughout.
a shift response is where someone tells you something about what's going on in their world
we all do this in conversations. It's part of kind of conversation tennis, isn't it
The sole framework presented is explicitly attributed to Celeste Headley's TED Talk and prior podcast appearance; Sarah adds no contrarian angle, first-principles reasoning, or novel extension of the idea. It is a faithful retelling of existing, widely circulated communication advice.
this is inspired by Celeste Headley, one of my favorite podcast conversations, and her TED Talk is absolutely brilliant
she introduced me to this idea
This is a solo monologue episode with no guest present. The only practitioner referenced (Celeste Headley) does not appear; she is merely cited as a source. There is no operator, executive, or domain expert to evaluate.
Hi, I'm Sarah, and in this squiggly shortcut, I'm going to be talking about the difference between a shift and a support response in a conversation
The episode offers one generic, hypothetical scenario (manager one-to-one with a stressed team member) as its sole concrete illustration. No real companies, data, research citations, metrics, or named case studies appear anywhere in the transcript.
let's imagine you're a manager and you're having a one-to-one with someone in your team and they say to you, I'm just feeling really overwhelmed at the moment
maybe that person talking to you is actually starting to feel really burnt out
There is no conversation to evaluate - the episode is an uninterrupted solo monologue with no questions, no follow-ups, and no interlocutor. The delivery is informal but heavily hedged and repetitive, relying on filler phrases throughout.
so have a go maybe over the next week notice your shift responses notice your support responses
I think it's something that we can all do for each other probably a bit more from time to time
Computed from the transcript - who did the talking, and the words that came up most.
Are you a conversational narcissist? In this Squiggly Shortcut, Sarah introduces a deceptively simple idea from Celeste Headlee that will change how you listen, and make you notice everyone else's conversations differently too. What You'll Learn - What a shift response is, why we all do it, and why it matters more than you might think - What a support response sounds like in practice, and how it changes the dynamic of a conversation - Why assuming your experience is the same as someone else's can get in the way of really listening - How to notice your own patterns over the next week, and what to do with that awareness Resources Mentioned Episode 207: Celeste Headlee on the Squiggly Careers podcast: xx For questions about Squiggly Careers or to share feedback, please email: helenandsarah@squigglycareers.com Need some more squiggly career support? 1. Download our free career tools: 2.
Transcribed and scored by The B2B Podcast Index.
Hi, I'm Sarah, and in this squiggly shortcut, I'm going to be talking about the difference between a shift and a support response in a conversation. Now, this is inspired by Celeste Headley, one of my favorite podcast conversations, and her TED Talk is absolutely brilliant, short, specific, and funny. Everything that you want from a TED Talk. I think it's called How to Have Better Conversations, definitely something along those lines.
And she introduced me to this idea and she talks about it as a way to make sure that you are not a conversational narcissist, which sounds really harsh. But I think when you get into this, you realise we all do this some of the time. So what does a shift versus support response mean in a conversation? So let's talk about a shift response first.
A shift response is where someone tells you something about what's going on in their world. So let's imagine you're a manager and you're having a one-to-one with someone in your team and they say to you, I'm just feeling really overwhelmed at the moment, struggling to prioritise feels like there a lot going on maybe feeling like super stressed And a shift response would be the manager coming back to that person and saying do you know what me too Been in back meetings all day just not even had a kind of moment to breathe.
Now, we all do this in conversations. It's part of kind of conversation tennis, isn't it, where someone tells you one thing and kind of you respond with your experience. So it's not wrong and it's not bad. But I think sometimes when people are telling you about what's going on in their world, if you then switch the focus to what's going on in your world, it maybe doesn't feel as empathetic as it could.
And perhaps it doesn't feel like you're listening as well as you might, or that you're interested in actually learning more about that person's experience. There's also sometimes a suggestion that you're making an assumption that your experience is exactly the same as the person talking to you. They've said they're really stressed and you're like, I know exactly what you mean. I'm really stressed too.
And it's like, well, there's an assumption there that kind of what we're experiencing is the same. But maybe that person talking to you is actually starting to feel really burnt out. Maybe you've had a stressful day They quite different situations So start to notice how often do you do a shift response in conversations Honestly when Celeste first taught me this I was like oh no because I think we all do this so often. You'll also, I promise you, start to really notice it in other people too.
And we shouldn't judge because like I said, it's fine. But there are moments perhaps when someone is telling us something hard or something feels difficult, or you just really want to be supportive, where a support response serves you and the other person much better. So in that exact same example that I just shared, a manager might instead say to the person who's feeling really stressed, oh, that sounds really hard. How long have you been feeling like that?
Or that sounds really hard. Talk to me a bit more about like, what does that look like? Or give me some examples of like, when it's feeling particularly hard at work at the moment. Or just like, tell me a bit more about that is kind of the classic coaching question that sometimes people use.
But I always think you want to show you've been listening and your job to do when you're trying to be really supportive and responding with supportive questions is you trying to expand your understanding of their world You trying to make sure that you aren making assumptions And you just really trying to listen actively and question in a way that just feels like that person is the kind of most important thing. It's almost that reminder that I remember when I was first learning coaching, people say to you, you know, like, it's not about you.
And there are certain moments at work when we're leading teams or just with our colleagues where like it's okay to not put yourself as part of that conversation and people will really feel that they'll really appreciate that and they'll feel really heard so I think it's something that we can all do for each other probably a bit more from time to time so have a go maybe over the next week notice your shift responses notice your support responses and perhaps you could even try it out together as a team if you'd like to listen to Celeste on the Squiggly Chris podcast, which I would recommend.
She's a brilliant communicator. It's episode 207 of the podcast, if you want to go and find that. Otherwise, that's everything for this shortcut. And we're back with you again soon.
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