Being Intentional Where You Show Up - Both Online & Off!

Speaker A: With limited bandwidth and a desire to reduce the digital distraction. While infinite options are tugging at you, where do you best invest your time and energy? How do you decide where to actually put your efforts? Is social media just for the birds? For when it comes to your business? How do you make time for showing up in real life on top of everything else you have to do? How do you choose things that are not going to make you completely exhausted? Good news, my friend. In this episode, we're going answer those questions as we walk through together. Where to show up online in real life, and how to be a little bit more intentional with our time and energy. Welcome to Small Business Casual, where we focus on designing sustainable, cozy, and thriving businesses tailored to your life, not the other way around. From general business and marketing to making sense of the behind the scenes chaos. I'm Emily Aborn, a small business copywriter. I'm here to walk alongside you as we make running our businesses less of a roller coaster ride and more like a walk in the park. Hello. Summer is almost here in New Hampshire at the time of my recording this episode. And actually, we need to go back. We need to go back to spring. Uh, when spring started, I don't know about you, but I noticed a palpable shift. Uh, namely everything started getting extremely fast. Opportunities and invites. They started just like, flying from personal, too professional, too educational. Uh, my plate went from like, okay, kind of nicely full to completely overloaded with too many options. Like, I was at some buffet that I never actually signed up for. So with the onslaught of options, um, now I'm talking about both digital platforms where we can show up, and also in person, events and commitments and, you know, your actual work. How do you choose? How do you show up consistently and with intentionality in your business and based on the things, based on your unique clientele and community, but also your life, right? The things that actually just like, interest you and are fun or that you want to learn about. There's a lot. And all of us, no matter where you are in life, no matter whether you have children or don't have children or you're married or single or it does not actually matter, every single one of us has limits on our time and energy that look different. And so how we choose, choose whether or not it's time to let something go is a really important decision that we have to make. So today we're going to get into all that. Um, soon, I want to tell you, soon I'm going to be trying something new and I'm going to be Recording. I. I want to do this. Let me just say I want to start recording video to go with the audio. So I'm going to give. I'm going to go to the end of June with just audio, um, apart from the collaborative episode I did and the one upcoming with Christie, because when I have a guest, it's easy do video, but with myself, it's a little bit harder. Um, but in July, I think I'm gonna see how it goes. I've been convinced to give YouTube a stab. Now, it's funny because as I'm saying this, I'm, like, talking about doing less. Um, but. But T.C. burr of the Right Mindset podcast, he gave me some good reasons to at least maybe try it. So I'm gonna try that in July. Um, and I don't know if I'm gonna do it for the whole month. We'll see. It depends on how weird I get. Um, speaking of weird, we got some sparkly new listeners after last week's compilation episode with Karen and Christy and Alex and Melissa and Jess. So I wanted to take a quick second to just reintroduce my weird self. Um, if you've already been here a while, obviously, just tune out for the next 15 seconds or so. Play some. Play some elevator music for yourself. Um, I am Emily Aborn. I'm a small business copywriter, podcast host, as you can hear by the sound of my voice, and consult consultant. I help business owners write things like website copy, blog, social media posts, whatever else ails ya. And I also offer consulting and guidance in the way of podcasting, guesting, hosting, marketing. Really, when it comes down to it, I think of marketing as a way to connect with our customers and also improve the customer experience. And I really do think that your marketing, having great marketing and having an incredible business go hand in hand. Um, you can learn all about me and what I'm all about and connect with me in all the places I decide to show up@emilyaborn.com and there are always links in the show notes. I do a pretty good job with linking, linking, linking in the show notes. So without further ado. So welcome here. Uh, and. And without further adoing, let's get into the episode so that you have a little bit of a sense of the journey I'm going to take you on today. And we'll. We'll try to keep it short, but here's where we're going. I'm gonna start with the digital side and really talking about being intentional with your online presence, because I Think, uh, there are so many platforms out there and so many choices and people are kind of always asking, like, should I be on this? Should I be on this? Should I be on this? Should I quit social media, whatever the case may be. People are deleting things on their phone, doing screen free time. Like, they're so much coming at us that we're, we're wanting to disconnect more. And so I think it's important to talk about that digital side and really being intentional when it comes to our online presence because there's a lot that goes into that. Um, we're also going to talk about showing up in person and like, oh, the places you can go a la Dr. Seuss. Uh, but we're going to really talk about, like, how do you choose where to show up that's right for you? And also when this is, some, some of this is seasonally related, you know, um, so let's start with the. And then we'll just wrap up. That's just what we do here. We just wrap up after all that. I'll leave. No, actually, I'm gonna leave you with some questions that you can ask yourself. Questions I'm asking myself right now. Like I said, I think June is such a fantastic time to do this because it's halfway through the year, summer is upon us almost, and it's just about to get a little crazy, a little nutty, and we're gonna want to do things both personally and, and professionally. And so we really have to be intentional about where we're choosing to show up. So, um, I'll leave you with some questions that you can start evaluating for yourself where you're showing up. Uh, let's start with the digital side of the coin. Let's start with the digital side of showing up. I seriously wonder, like, probably no less than nine times a day whether or not I really need social media for my business. Do I need social media for my podcast? Do I, do I need social media for, like, the long term, for like my career? Right. And I gotta say, about 20 times a day, I come back to thinking, like, you know what? From right now, for me, um, I think that social media is just kind of a necessary evil. And I want to say I don't actually think it's evil. I, I, I actually have reframed it from being, quote, unquote, unnecessary evil, which is how a lot of people refer to it. I don't hate it. Um, I don't like the pressure I feel to always, like, show up on it and post on it. But I actually do enjoy the outlet for expression and I love being able to create a little bit more positivity in the world. Like, I love being part of creating positive ripples into the world because there's a whole lot of negative noise out there, there's a lot of shame inducing, there's a lot of imposter inspiring content out there. And so like, for me, I think of my content as kind of like my personal mission is just to kind of be a little bit of light in the darkness. I love, for example, meme gathering. And a lot of people will watch my stories because they just think my memes are funny or well curated, which I really do take seriously. So that is like one of the ways I have chosen to show up. I really love showing up in like Instagram stories. So, uh, social media, my own personal experience and thoughts aside, do you really need social media for, for your business or for your creative work, like a podcast? So I'm gonna say this. I think first of all, if you're starting at ground zero with your podcast and you already have like some sort of social media, um, presence for your own self, I do think it's going to help you out a whole lot getting those listeners. Um, if you are not actively getting clients through social media and you are a business owner and you are trying to get clients from social media, don't just say like, oh, it doesn't work. You might actually still benefit from having what a lot of people call there, there. Okay. And that just means like, you're kind of showing up, you're showing that, okay, they're in business, they have a business, they have ideas and thoughts and clients and uh, proof of concept or whatever. And so I think some of it is a little bit of that, Some of it is also being top of mind for people. So reminding people who to come to when they need help with launching their podcast, reminding people of who to find, where, like who to call when they need help, uh, with, with copywriting, right when they're just staring down that blinking cursor. So I think that that is some of it too is being that person that pops into their mind when they have a problem. Um, now that all said, I think that when it comes to social media, you and really can decide what it means to be intentional in how you use it. Now I don't think that that just includes, uh, where you decide to show up, but also how often you decide to show up, um, what you decide to share or not share on those platforms and A lot of those platforms have multiple options. So if I just look at LinkedIn for example, and I don't even know them all, but if I'm just looking at LinkedIn, there's posts, right? There's articles, there's newsletter, there's groups, there's company pages. Like, there is just so many different ways to show up on one platform alone. There's probably a bunch of others on LinkedIn that I don't know because that's not one that I put a ton of time and energy into. Uh, to be truthful, I don't put a ton in time of energy ton, a ton of time and energy into social media at all. But LinkedIn is for sure, like last on my list, which is probably where my clients are. Um, I probably would benefit from using it a little bit more intentionally, but I just like, it does not light me up to, to show up there. So that's stuff you have to kind of take into, into consideration. So you have to think when you're being intentional, not just where you're showing up, but also how you want to use the platform, what you're going to share there. Um, you know, that would be kind of like where you start thinking about like, well, what is my message, right, and how often and uh, who you're specifically speaking to in those places. So there's really no magical formula. But I do, even though there's no formula, I do encourage you to write this down. I list frequently and I will go through this and kind of like quote unquote audit myself. I guess I list, um, where I'm showing up, uh, where I am engaging and where, like what that kind of looks like, like what frequencies because you, you want to have this written down. Where do you post, where do you show up, where are you engaging and commit to yourself, how often you' planning on doing it. Like, I revisit these often because I want to make sure two things. One, I want to make sure that I'm not forgetting something because I've been known to do that when I'm on social platforms. But I also want to make sure that I'm not overdoing it and also that I'm checking in and meeting any like, objectives maybe that I have with these platforms. So another key I think on being intentional, um, I don't think, you know, people often say like that scrolling is intentionless or mindless. Like I. Mindless scrolling. People will refer to it, to it as. And I don't think that it has to be, um, like I think Scrolling is actually okay if you're kind of being a little bit smart about it. So for example, I will make two times, um, to scroll on various things. One is usually at the end of the day for a couple minutes. And what I will do then is I'll kind of like go through there, um, call things that I want to share, but also I go back and act and like at the end of the day I will comment on things that I've saved. Um, I also am guilty of doing like some just completely aimless wandering at that time, but I don't really care. It's, it's guilt free. It's guilt free for me. Um, the other time that I do it is when I'm actually going to make a post. So if I'm going to make a post on LinkedIn or Substack or whatever, I will also use that time to consciously engage on other people's posts. And it's just a good reminder for me because I want to be engaging. I don't want to just be, have like social media isn't social media if it's just me posting and then leaving. Right. So, um, those are the times I choose to do that. Uh, and then personally like my guilt free scroll. Well, maybe it's a little guilty. Um, it's like a reward. Okay, so after I'm done cleaning my house, I will lay on my floor and I will lay on the rug at the top of the stairs and I look for like funny, silly stuff that just makes me laugh. And I don't even need to like share. I'm not doing it for any particular reason. I'm just doing it because I like it. And I'm trying to like make myself have like, I'll often find like a comedian or just something funny. Um, it's a weird ritual. I know, and I like it. So don't knock it, don't knock it till you try it. Let me just say. But really when it comes to business, um, my goal is always to be intentional in when I post, where I post what I post. And let me just say this, you know, a lot of people will say like, can you share my event or can you be an affiliate for this thing or help me promote this? Like, say yes with caution. Say yes carefully because you also have to consider all the things that you right now are promoting and uh, the things that you have going on. So I often, I've turned down tons and tons and tons of those things because I'm like, well, I can't be promoting Your affiliate link. Well, if I'm also trying to share about this event and I also don't want every single post to be like a call to action marketing post. Right. So just be cognizant of those things. Um, I do have to say I, I want to talk more about engaging a little bit because again I really think that engaging like reciprocity, reciprocity, actually responding and commenting and building real relationships, that is the point, uh, of social media. And so if we are not doing that, it is just us kind of like broadcasting and one sided social media in my opinion, for business owners. For business owners. Okay. Um, I really do think that it comes with the responsibility of reciprocity and that reciprocity should be ideally, uh, intentional. So the other way to be intentional around digital platforms is just like really take a, take a minute and evaluate the time and energy that you're putting into social or substack or whatever it is and what it is giving you in return. So it should also be reciprocal for you. Right. And not all of this looks monetary. It doesn't always look like new clients. It doesn't always look like more download numbers. It could just be like a mental, emotional, professional win for you. Um, and like I said, like, I really enjoy social media for like expression. Like it just helps me like get my thoughts straight and, and share things and it's sometimes I just like it for that. So, um, as I mentioned in an episode recently about experimentation, if you don't know how you feel about something, test it, try it out. Like I'm going to be doing with the video thing. I'm just going to see if that's where I want to be and how I want to show up. I'm also doing that same thing I shared in that experiment episode, uh, with Pinterest. And that's like the best. I mean that's an awesome social platform because you literally don't have to comment or be on it except posting your own stuff. Um, so you might check that out. But uh, if it's right for you and your business. But I also think that uh, it's really, really important to test and try things and see how we feel and then you're able to accurately say, okay, if it's not helping me out in who I want to become in any way, um, you know, maybe it's time to take your foot off the gas and really think about like, okay, well, how do I want to move forward with it? Do I, do I want none of it? Do I want less of it? Like what's kind of the happy medium for me? I know for, um, a friend of mine, Barb, uh, Barb David's of the how to Get More Website Traffic podcast, she is being really intentional with her use of social media, by the way. She has it on her phone versus her desktop. And so she's using it very specific ways without having that temptation to, to like quote unquote mindlessly scroll. Right. So, okay, let's move on to the in person side of things. The power of showing up in real life. Um, obviously that comes with a little bit more of a time commitment and for some of us, more of an energetic commitment. Depending on who you are, that's all stuff that you will learn and, or have to know about yourself and, or get to experiment with. So I gotta say, there is just something about showing up in person. I consider myself not really like a big group person. I don't really enjoy groups and often when I'm getting ready to go do something in person, I am dragging my feet. Now it has nothing to do with the people that I'm going to see. I just would prefer not to do that. I would prefer to stay home and like honestly work on something creative in the private, like in my cozy, comfy home by myself, really. Um, and, and I love getting together with people. I think I'm more of a one to one person, but I'm just kind of sharing honestly with you. So sometimes it is truly like dragging feet. And every single time I get there, there is just something about it. Every time I do an in person workshop or an event, or I attend a networking group or I go to New England Podcasters group, or I get together somebody one to one for, uh, one to one for coffee in real life, there it is. It is impactful and life changing in some way. Um, prior to rebranding this podcast to small business casual, you may recall I did an episode with my friend Andy Lyons of the New England Podcasters Group. I'll have a link to that episode in the show notes, um, as well as the New England Podcasters Group. But it's all about networking. And most of what we discussed was actually in person networking, how to find opportunities to network in person. And Andy really offered some great nuggets, some tips, some piece of pieces of advice about the power of showing up in person and creating that sense of community. So like I said, I'll make sure there's a link to that episode in the show notes. But I really, you know, I'm with her. I really do There is something to the path of showing up in person. Um, and if you can't, because that's not always an option, there is still more power, I think there's still power to more presence and more connection with people. So even if that has to be over zoom or over the phone, um, I recently shared that I have been like working in my client process and really trying to increase a couple of the face to face touch points with my clients. And I, I feel I have to say even if I just am sending a video and they're sending me a video back, which is sometimes how it, how it works, depending on our schedules, I really do feel that so many more wonderful things happen when we meet, meet, uh, or when we talk it out or when we connect human to human and not just like reading each other's emails back and forth. Um, and when you're able to con couple uh, that with like a consistent place to show up, I think that is truly where the gold is. So, but you have to juggle because there are places that you know, sometimes some places you're going to want to show up for personally, some you're going to want to show up professionally. There's things to learn, there's things to do and so you have to really be um, judicious. Uh, I'm personally getting more picky about where I decide to show up and when. I've been saying no to a lot more things lately and so I want to share the questions I've been asking. And you can use these for in person. Um, and you can also use them for digital places that you show up. So here are the questions all I'll put them in the show notes for sure. But there's four of them. You could like journal on these. You can just think about them, whatever works for you. So question number one. Where does my energy feel best? Where does your energy feel best? What do you, what situations are you in when your energy feels best? When you walk away feeling recharged or excited right about the work that you're doing, not drained and depleted? Um, number two, you have to consider if, if you are actively growing your business, if you are looking for clients, customers and community, where are they spending their time and are you meeting them there? Are you shying away from those places? And then question number three, what pace and also what places can you sustain being a part of visiting, going at um, without burning out. What pace and places can you sustain without burning out? And then number four, what do you actually enjoy? And I think that's a really, really important one. And I also want to stress networking does not need to look like, quote, unquote, a networking event. Uh, for example, I'm going to two events this month actually in a couple of days that have nothing to do with business. Um, and I plan to meet some great people there. So that is another opportunity to quote, unquote, network. But I'm really just going to be having fun and I'm also going to be just expressing myself creatively. So I'm excited for those things. Networking can look so many different ways. And honestly, we just probably need to stop using the word networking because it's just meeting people. It's just getting out there and, uh, meeting people. And I do think that there's a lot of power to it in person if you can do it. So I would invite you to really take a look at where you're showing up, um, and, and how you're committing to those and where your energy feels best. Uh, who your clients are, who your customers are, where are they spending their time? What paces and place can you sustain without burning out? And what do you actually enjoy? The answer, hopefully, if you're being honest with yourself, is not going to be everywhere. It's going to be in choosing the right places for you. So remember that buffet I mentioned at the beginning where I never signed up, but suddenly my plate was full of way too many options? What I'm learning is that I don't even have to go to every station. I don't have to taste everything. I can walk right out of there entirely and say, you know what? What, no thanks. None of this really looks good to me right now. And that's not being in. That's not being selfish. It's being really intentional. Before you add just one more thing, before you add one more platform, one more event, one more affiliate thing that you're sharing, right? One more commitment on top of it all. So I, I wanted to share this episode, namely, because I think we hear the word bandwidth and we think of it as a limitation. Um, and I don't. And also I think being intentional, it's like, well, what can I cut? What can I scrap? Right? I think of it more as like, our bandwidth is actually a really useful guide in our businesses and in our lives. It shows us where we need to actually be bold enough to say, no, no, thank you. That's not for me right now. Because you want to be able to say yes to what matters most to you and what you. What lights you up, right? Like, that's the goal here is to be doing things that light us up. So this week, week, I would ask you to write down where you're currently showing up, and that includes both online and in. In real life. And be honest with yourself and then answer those four questions with me. I'm doing this in June. It is such a great time to do this. It's kind of like time to take stock. And I'll be so curious if you want to share with me. Uh, you can email me or you can find me at any of the social links in my show notes, but I want to know what's making the cut for you, what's staying, what's going. And also remember that you don't have to figure it out all in one sitting, but I would encourage you to please start somewhere. All right, on that note, I will let you go. And next week, I have a little bit of a surprise for you. Speaking of showing up, I can't wait to share it with you. Thanks for joining me on, um, this week's episode of Small Business Casual. If you love the show, make sure to rate, review, and share it with a frazzled business owner that you care about. Because this shouldn't feel like a roller coaster ride. More like a scenic train ride with snacks. Don't forget those snacks.