Finding Your Own Faith with Ian Knechtle

Welcome to the podcast for our listeners. This is Ian Connectly. Ian Connectly is the. How would you describe yourself, Ian? How would I describe myself? A human being created in God's image. But yeah, no, a little bit about myself. Born and raised in New Canaan, Connecticut. My father being Cliff Kneckley, my mom being Sharon Koneckley. Two older brothers, Stuart and Robert Koneckley, and honored to be part of that family. Just going on this journey called life. So thanks for having me on. I really do appreciate it and it's, it's a pleasure to be here. An honor. Thanks for. Yeah, thanks for being here. Yeah, I guess we can just dive right in to. I. Yeah, I guess before we go into your testimony too, just a question, like, was it, is it, is it weird being at the church and being associated? I know like in Christian, Christian culture circles, it can be almost like your family treated like a celebrity. Is that like, is it how. I guess. How do you. Yeah, how do you. I know, it's hilarious. And I'm the black sheep of the family, the only one that technically is not in the, the family ministry, you know, the only one that's not a pastor. No, it's not weird or awkward at all. Yeah, it's unfortunate to be able to support my family and they have. I mean, I've received so much support from them my entire life and watching them truly change this world for Christ is an absolute honor. So. No, it's not. Not weird at all. And I, it kind of allows me to not necessarily be in the spotlight, which, you know, I kind of enjoy that. It's so. No, it's, it truly is a blessing to have the family that I have. And yes, of course, now my dad and my brothers, they're quite popular when it comes to apologetics and spreading the faith, which is amazing. They kind of half joking some here and there and want me to get more involved officially. I love doing it as a volunteer because I absolutely believe God is calling me to, you know, spread his word, but do that maybe in different mission fields. So it's, it's, it's amazing. There's absolutely nothing, nothing weird about it, nothing awkward. We're all incredibly close kingdom and bring as many people, people with us. That's the goal. So I love it. Did you, did you always feel that way about it? Also, could you move that mic in just like. Yeah, of course. That's good. Did I always feel that way about it? To this day I've actually, It's kind of funny you bring that up. I was reflecting upon this yesterday, actually. It's like, huh, you know, if God gave us the ability to go back in time, you know, would I, would I do things differently? I don't know if I would because I believe it's all thanks to God that we're here now. And so going back in time, you know, should I have gone to seminary? Should I have gone into being a pastor? I don't think so. I don't think I would change a single thing because I absolutely love where I'm at today. And I think once again, God calls all of us to go out into the world and really focus on building his kingdom. And so we can't all be pastors. You know, if every single person on the planet was a pastor, I mean, maybe it'd be awesome, but it would be, you know, an interesting world. And so I believe God has just called me into a different mission field. And I'm blessed once again to be able to kind of do that and figure out ways to work my faith into my career, into other relationships, things like that. So, yeah, I don't, I don't think I would change anything, but I still love getting involved as a volunteer. I love, absolutely love the church. I think we need more people going to church. But, yeah, I, I think there's a little bit. I'm fortunate once again to just be a volunteer. I think especially Grace Community Church, where of course, the connectly name is very well known. It allows me to go under the radar a little bit more, which, which isn't necessarily a bad thing. So it's, it's, it's great. It's, it's awesome. So let's talk a little bit about calling, too. When, when you, you said that you felt like you were called to do something else, was there, was there like one moment for you when you, when you, it clicked for you and they're like, ah, this is, this is it. This is God speaking to me, or this is God showing me that this is what I'm supposed to do right now? To be honest, no. Was there one moment where I felt like God was, I mean, talking to me and telling me I. Not that I can remember. It was once again a journey. And it was a collection of many things. A lot of conversations with my parents, especially when I'm, When I was in high school, when I thought about, okay, I'm going to college soon, got to pick a major, what do I really want to focus on? And I always had a draw to business. You know, I had a lot of Christian mentors who are also very close family friends. Growing up, when I was in high school, college after college, and they were, you know, powerful in the business world, but their faith was at the center of their life, and being exposed to that was something that I really was drawn into, and I loved that. I was like, okay, these people get to rub elbows with a lot of people that maybe have never taken Christ seriously, and that's truly amazing that they can kind of differentiate themselves and those types of crowds and stand out and hopefully create change. So that's my goal. And so that was that. Once again, it took time, though. It took time. There was definitely not one moment where I was like, oh, this is what God wants me to do. Boom. I'm going. It was, okay, God. Just a lot of prayer, a lot of reading scripture, a lot of talking to other people, a lot of family conversations around, okay, where. What gifts have. Has God blessed me with? What are my spiritual gifts? And now how do I go out into the world and develop those gifts and benefit as many people as I come across? And I think, you know, I kind of had that. That draw to business and the human element associated with it. So, no, I think it was, once again, a journey, and I'm fortunate to be able to love what I do. What do you think are some of those gifts that have positioned you uniquely for your calling? Oh, gosh, you're making me talk about myself here. What are some of my gifts? One on one, connect. I love building relationships, getting to know people just on a very personal, transparent, open, honest way. You know, there's a lot of noise in this world, a lot of distractions. A lot of people, you know, keeping up with the Joneses. A lot of people just putting on their mask and, you know, trying to not show their true selves, really getting to know the, like, authentic person sitting or standing in front of me altogether. So I think I would like to think and pray and hope that that's one of my gifts, is really building relationships and community. Yeah, so. Well, yeah, I think I agree with what you're saying, too. And I think just from when I came to your Bible study for the first time, even before we went to the Bible study, when we came to your house and, like, without even meeting us, you were opening your home to us, you know, opening your home and just fostering this space where people feel like they can be themselves, you know, And I think that that is. It's. It's important and it's needed, you know, and, yeah, I think I Think it's really something that is, it's powerful. And yeah, I just want to encourage you and say that that is, that's true. I, for the listeners listening. Thank you. Yeah. And we talked about this. Just, just have, just this week at small group, especially at the Bible study. And I'm like, what are we doing here? Like, why are we gathering? Like, what's, what's the point of all this? And the theme or just really the word that kept on coming to mind for me was relationships. Yeah. Like it's all about relationships. First and foremost, building that relationship with Jesus Christ and having him at the center of your life. Yeah. And then secondly, not to just sit around and sit on your phone or computer all day or tv, but to go out into the world and build relationships. Like that's in my opinion, that's what it's all about. And I feel very passionate about that. You know, I believe, I mean, look what Jesus did, you know, he didn't just stay in one town or with one group of people. He was going out into the world, meeting people, talking to people. Yes, of course he had his close disciples, which was beautiful. And I think we should all have those types of very close knit groups and friends and family, but really to go out into the world and make change and I think it's all about relationships. So. Well, let me ask you this too. How do you. Because even in churches, you know, even in church groups, people can still feel like they have their guard up or they need to be somebody in order to, to, to fit into the group. You know, maybe it shows up in different ways. Maybe it's like, oh, I've had this experience with God or my calling is this strong or whatever, you know, like, how do you navigate cultivating a space where people feel like they don't, they don't have, have to do that and they can just show up and, and come as they are. I think it, I think it's a lot about action and how I present myself. If I put, you know, if I just stood up in front of people like, oh, I'm a connectly. So you should listen to me, like, absolutely not. I think it's through being truly authentic and vulnerable. Um, I don't hold back when it comes to sharing my own struggles, my questions, my doubts, the pain I'm going through, suffering in my life, whatever it might be. And I think in order to build true relationships and help people kind of it, it starts with someone taking the initiative and being vulnerable. And so I want to create a Space like that where people can come and not worry, oh, I got to have my guard up, like. Yeah, because that's. That's unfortunate. If you go into a church and that's the way you have to act or feel, then we got to make some changes or a group or. I mean, really anything in life, if that's the way you have to be, it's probably not the healthiest place to be. Yeah. And I think it does start with people who are maybe leading that group to once again be vulnerable, authentic and true about themselves and giving. It's almost like creating that space for other people to now, you know, let their guard down and be them, be their true selves. So I think it takes leadership in that sense. Yeah. And it's like by. By you doing that, you're giving other people permission to exactly. Do it as well. Exactly. Yeah. Yeah, that's. That's interesting. And I. I have. I have noticed that as well, too, just like in some of the more recent Bible studies, you know, with what some of the things that you've shared. And I think it feels. I think it does allow people to also be vulnerable, vulnerable themselves. But I think it, more importantly, like, it creates, like, real connection with people. You know, it's like we're actually starting to share life together, you know, versus just like performing, you know, Because I think that the second it. Something like, slips something also as dangerous as your faith to be performing in, you know, I think. I think that's like a very slippery slope. And I mean, I've seen that before where it is. Where it is like that. And it's like you can go and you can get into the Word and you can do all these things, you know, and go out in a place where it's like you're reading the Bible and you're doing these things where a quote, unquote Christian might say, hey, I'm doing these things that are Christian. But in reality, it could just be. It could just be some, like, pride hiding itself. And I. Yeah, I do think that it's. Yeah, I think it's important that people. The leader especially, is vulnerable, you know, because I've also seen it before, too, where you have somebody else in the group that is vulnerable and it's not the leader, and the leader kind of like, ostracizes that person. And then it, like, creates a different level of psychological safety in the group, and people are like, oh, this isn't okay. And so, yeah, I do think that. I think that's why the group is also Growing, you know, and because people feel like they can show up and look how diverse it is, you know, it's like there's people who just got saved. There's people in their 20s and their 40s. There's married couples, different races. You know, it's like, it's. It's a diverse group, you know, And I think that really speaks to the way that people feel in the group, you know, and so. Yeah, I think that's. I think that's awesome, dude. Well, I appreciate you saying that, because, listen, we always try to just point it back to Jesus. Jesus didn't care about what you did for work. You know, where you lived, where you were from, your background, your race, gender, ethnicity, age, health. He didn't care. All he cared about was your heart and where your heart is at. And so that. That's. That's what we're trying to do. Yeah, I mean, we're trying to copy Jesus. I think I could think of worse people to try to copy than him and just create. Once again, create. I don't love using the. Create a space, but just be together. Like, be together as Christians. And we know we fall short every single day. None of us are perfect. Thank God for his grace. That. That's okay. Like, as long as we are striving to glorify him in everything we do and be closer with Him. Like, yeah, we. We won't do it perfectly. Yeah. But as long as we're doing it together, I think that's the beautiful thing. Yeah, yeah, I agree. And I'm going to push back here, too, because, yeah, please do. I think some viewers would want to push back here and say, like, okay, yes, that's true. Right? Like, we're forgiven. There is God's grace. But, like, what is the balance between that for you? Between that and, like, cheap grace versus, like, just giving into sin? Because I know I'm going to be forgiven. Like, what. What is that? What does that look like? Cheap. That's awful. If. If that's really. Once again, I believe it's all debt comes down to the heart. If that's what you're feeling in your heart, like, oh, I can do this, because don't worry, I'll just be forgiven. Yeah. No, absolutely not. As Christians, we are called to hold each other accountable and really call each other out for things. And I hope. And I've had a lot of people call me out, not only family, but friends, fellow believers, call me out for things that I was doing that was just not right. And I couldn't be more thankful that they did. Because, yeah, like, sometimes when I'm going down that path, I'm like, well, I'll do it this once and I'll be forgiven and sorry. It's like, no, like, get your act together, Ian. Like, seriously, what is it? What does that look like for you? Getting my act together. Or more so like somebody correcting you and then you accepting the correction. Humility and repentance. Huge. If I. When someone calls me out on something, if my initial reaction is like, well, who are you? Like, you know, again, I really gotta figure out what's going on in my heart. So I think it takes a lot of humility. And then it also, I think, I mean, they're so intertwined, humility and repentance. Because through that humility, I realize how much I mess up. And I need God's grace. And I believe the people that have called me out, I absolutely believe that that was God speaking through them. And God communicates to us in many ways and through other believers. Has been one of the most powerful ways in my life. So I think, once again, that takes a lot of humility. And you really. Repentance. Repentance is not just saying sorry. It's a change in heart and a change in action inward and outward. You know, I'm sure there's a lot of different definitions. You know, I'm not pulling that from dictionary, you know, Webster's or anything like that, but that's how I've kind of figured it out in my life where it's a full change. It's not just, oh, yeah, I gotta feel that inside, and then I'll be okay. It's like, well, no, no, this now impacts how I live my life practically on a daily basis, if I am truly being honest when it comes to that repentance and humility. So through that once again, humility, repentance, comes great change that people can see. Because once again, if they don't see that change, I hope they call me out again. Honoring Christ. So it takes a lot of growth, too, on my end, because once again, I mess up every single day. But just being aware of that, having people in my life to hold me accountable is huge. Is huge. And I'll get into this maybe later too. But I. I kind of turned away from the church a little bit because, yes, I was definitely living a life that was not honoring to Christ. And I had a lot of people, too. Some that I like, barely even knew that were, I think, crossing the line into being, like, incredibly judgmental yeah. And I still struggle with this today. Like people within the faith, you're saying? Yeah, people within the faith. Oh, yeah. If it's people not in the faith, then of course I just don't want to hear them out. But it's like, well, we don't believe the same thing here. So I'm going to take that with a grain of salt. People in the faith, and this was not actually local. It's when I was in college. So it was people I didn't really know. And thank God for my family and other friends who are very strong Christians that were able to kind of see that. And they could see that. I mean, I guess it was through the way I was behaving that my heart was getting a little hardened, not towards Christ, but towards Christians. And once again, it was not putting it on them because I was absolutely not living a life that was Christ honoring at all. I mean, I still deal with some guilt, shame, cringe at some of the things I've done in the past, but I think the way that it was handled and the way that people were trying to either communicate that to me or actually kind of lack thereof. They were kind of just trying to cancel me. Yeah. Like, definitely put me in like a place of. They're just judging me unfairly and I'm gonna just shun them, whatever it might be. Shun them or whatever. Once again. So it's. So I even find myself where if I do see a fellow believer stumbling, I want to be very careful as to how I communicate with them, because you never know what's fully going on in someone's world. And so if you come on too strong, I mean, once again, I do believe, like some of the viewers here, where it's like the cheap grace thing, there's a really tricky balance I think too, when it comes to calling someone out, when it comes to gentleness and, you know, leading with a very strong, powerful voice and the actions that you take there. So I think I once again had a more of an experience, but it was also coming from people that once again, didn't know me that well. And so I was like, dude, do you have any idea who I am or like, and in the sense of what's going on in my life, no, they're just kind of nitpicking certain things. And that, that once again almost turned me away from the church in that local area I was in. Not necessarily the church entirely. But yeah, it was, it was a. It was an interesting time of life where there was a lot of reflection. So, yeah. Did you feel like, I think this part's interesting too, about, like, having a, like a parent that is a. Within the faith, like a leader in the faith. But I think that's one component, and then there's another component that it's like, okay, they're also kind of well known as a leader in the faith. Do you feel like that has put a certain expectation on you or like a different weight that you have carried in the past? Or more specifically around that time of college, did you feel like that was like an extra thing, an extra burden almost to carry? No, I don't think so. Because a lot of these people didn't even know that, like, my dad was a pastor. Yeah, a lot of these people, you know, I think the, my dad and brothers, they've, they're, they've definitely become a little more well known in recent years. And this, I'm talking about, this was 15 years ago. Ish. Yeah. Yeah. And so a lot of people that were, in my opinion, judging me, they didn't even know. It's like, oh, like the connectly name, you know, the connectly brand, whatever it might be. Was it really a thing back then, if I'm allowed to say that? No, no, I'm just kidding. So, yeah, I don't think that really played a role because, I mean, I was so incredibly blessed to have the parents that I still have to this day, but also, especially going through my younger years, you know, obviously child, high school, college, 20s, so incredibly blessed because, I mean, my parents, the amount of sacrifice and support and love, even when I was going through some different struggles and going down paths I shouldn't be going down, they were, they, of course, did not hold back on calling me out, but they knew me, and so they did it in a way that they knew would resonate with. Yeah. And that was, I mean, yeah, it was just truly unbelievable, that experience. And. Yeah. Do you think that, that the way that they parented you is a big reason of why you came back to the faith the way that you did? 100%, yes. My parents are very different. You know, I think we've kind of joked around that maybe opposites attract, and I think they are perfect examples of that in ways that they were raised and the personalities, things like that. And I, I, I know that God brought them together in order to kind of balance each other out and, you know, think about things in a different way and behave in a different way, just kind of growing together in that sense. But the way that they came together and led our family and raised us was truly amazing because once again, they were kind of approaching it in different ways and had their different gifts and talents and shortcomings and things like that. But they worked together so well as a team, and the way that they raised us never pushed anything upon us. It's kind of funny. You know, one thing is that they always wanted us to make our faith our own. They did not want us to just be, oh, brainwashed and, you know, just kind of growing up just doing it, and that's just the way life is. Like, no, they wanted us to be tested. They wanted us to be challenged. They even have said this where, like, they were even kind of hoping that, like, we went to or went to, like, a secular school or, like, you know, not a Christian school. Yeah. Because they wanted our faith to be test so that we could make it our own. That's so interesting. Yeah. And the foundation that they laid in such a gentle, supportive, yet very clear way is a huge reason why I never walked away from my faith or turned my back on my faith. Because they made it clear, like, hey, your faith is not in Christians. Your faith is not in people in today's world, like, because you'll always be let down. Like, there will always be shortcomings. Your faith is in Jesus Christ, and that can never change, no matter what goes on in this world. So that's. Yeah. That's the number one reason, in my opinion, why, you know, truly wrestling with that and grasping that, like. And we'll get into this more maybe about when I was just how I was raised, but that's why I stayed in the faith, and I think that's why I came back even stronger than ever. Wow. So did you, like, grow up going to church, or was that optional? No, that was not optional, which was awesome because it kind of instilled those principles in us where it's like, hey, where. Where are you going to spend your time? Yeah. Like, what are you going to prioritize so you don't have to believe, but you have to come. Yeah. I mean, in a sense. Yeah. Yeah. It's like, hey, no, this is what we do. Yeah. And I remember pushing back all the time on that as a kid because there were a lot of, you know, sports that I missed out on Sundays. But it helped me line up my priorities that now are mine, that I've made my own as an adult, thanks to how I was raised. Wow. And so having parents like that that offered such clear direction and reasoning has now shaped as to how I now want to raise my family. Yeah. And what we are going to prioritize because once again, that comes back to truly what's at the center of your life. If the center of my life was. Yeah. Sports and school and things like that growing up as a kid, well, those things are always going to fail. And obviously I'm not the athlete now that I was maybe back then, and I was never the best in school, so ultimately that would have failed. And so seeing that now, where it's like, okay, what is really at the center of your life? Yeah. Is it going to be something of this world or is it something. Going to be something that created this whole world, AKA Jesus, God. And so that having that just clear example from my parents and the dedication, the commitment, never having a Bible, smashed overheads, anything like that, but it's like, hey, no, this is what we do. And here's why. Because, yeah, you can get injured playing a sport and, oh, if sports are at the center of your life, then what? Life is over. Like, life has no more purpose anymore. Like, so. Yeah. So is the reasoning for forcing you guys essentially to go to church, was it like, we're. You're for. We're forcing you because it's important that God is the center of your life? Yeah, that was the reason. Yeah. I wouldn't use the word force, but. But yes, it was like, hey, we're going to church for this reason. Like, hey, no, you're not playing that football game or basketball game or lacrosse game that day. We're instead gonna go to church. And here's why. But it was kind of forced because you didn't have an option. Yeah. I mean, they wouldn't. I mean, I probably could have put up a big fuss and tried to stay at home and maybe they would eventually given up. But yeah. No, it was like, well, no one's driving you to that football game because we're going to church and you're coming with us. Like, you should come with us. Yeah. So, yeah. That's interesting. Yeah. And I think the, The. It's interesting too, where it's like, this is what you're gonna do, but not telling you what to believe in. You know, I think that's an interesting line that is kind of. That's kind of drawn from their parenting because it's like this is. This is. It's almost like instilling discipline but not telling you what to. Yeah. Not telling you what to believe. Yeah. And it was. It really hit hard for me when I was a kid. My parents Would always drive me to school in the morning, which, I mean, looking back on that, that was just unbelievable. So incredibly blessed and fortunate. Take the bus. Hey, that builds character, too. All right. It builds character. I'd take the bus home, but in the morning, my parents would drive me to school, and we would memorize Bible verses and things like that. And my dad would occasionally ask me, and my mom sometimes, too, would like, ian, why are you valuable? Just a question wouldn't provide the answer, like, all that stuff, at least initially. Yeah. And it would make me start thinking based off of what other people think about me, based off my popularity, based off, once again, athletic talents, my iq, what I look like, like, why am I valuable? Like, why are. Why is every individual. And it forced me to, like, truly meditate and reflect on that. Yeah. Like, why are we all valuable? Is it. And if it is something based off this world, it eventually comes to an end, we all die. And so is it worth it? Like, is what is. What is worth. What is worth it when it comes to just figuring out your purpose? Yeah. And my dad and I, through conversations, I kind of came to the conclusion, well, thanks to, once again, my parents help. You know, I believe I'm valuable because God created me, God loves me, and God gave me unique gifts and talents. And now I'm called to go out into the world and develop those and impact as many as I possibly can. For him, that can't be shaken. No matter what happens to my health, no matter what happens in this life, no matter what happens to, you know, my career, my relationships, whatever it might be, that can never change. Yeah. And having that type of identity and foundation, that's what actually got me through all my difficult times in life where people were letting me down, people were judging me. I didn't get whatever. I didn't get the job that I wanted. I didn't, you know, someone sick that I love, whatever it might be, or going through a hard time, it's like, yeah, if. If I truly have that foundation in that rock that cannot be changed, AKA Jesus Christ, then everything will be okay. Yeah. So I. I think it's really important for people to ask themselves that question, why it is based off something worldly, then could it all of a sudden be gone in a split second? Here today, gone tomorrow? Yeah, exactly. Yeah. And I say that from, like, my own experience, too, you know, And I think it's so important to have that foundation, because if you don't. If you don't have that foundation and maybe somebody hasn't gone through something where they have to think about that, you know, maybe it's like, oh, my life is fine. You know, I. I can do everything myself. I haven't had any real struggle that I have where that's. Where that's really questioned, you know, So I think you can get through without it for a certain amount of time. But I think ultimately life is going to give you something where you're forced to confront that, and it's a lot better to have context for it and know that there's something on the other side of it rather than having it destabilize your entire existence. Because I've seen that too. There's. There's people where it's like something happens or they. They do a drug, and then it's like their mind is like they're stuck in, like, this existential thing forever. You know, not forever, but where. Where they're just lost. And I. I think that it's really important to instill that at a young age. And it's. It's clear evidence that that's what has happened to you, you know, And I think the question then becomes. Is, like, now you as a father, like, how do you continue to do that in your parents? And where are there things that you would. That you would do differently? Yeah. And also to kind of continue that up. It's continuing. It's like we all worship something. We all find something worthy of our praise and time, energy, commitment, resources. So, like, what are we worshiping? Is it ourselves? Is it money? Is it power? Is it popularity? Is it good looks? Is it whatever. Whatever it might be? If it's something that once again can be here today and gone tomorrow, then good luck, because that will eventually happen. It will eventually be gone. And so I've decided that my identity, my foundation, and what I worship is the only thing that cannot ever change, and that is Jesus Christ and his love for us. Power. It's a. When I. When I grasp that, it's a. It's a powerful revelation. And life is a little different. When you realized, hey, it's not all just about me. Yeah. And my happiness or my comfort. It's like, no, it's actually not about me at all. When people realize that separation. Because obviously this culture, you know, it's all about happiness, comfort, pleasure, you know, the self, you know, you know, making sure that the self is. Is the best. My truth than whatever it might be. All selfish things. Yeah. Once you go through that change and experience it, impossible to go back. It's like, oh, wow, life is so much more enjoyable when you realize it's not about you. Yeah. It's not like it's a big weight off your shoulders. And now you can truly, just for lack of better terms, relax and say, thank you, Jesus, that. That I don't have to go through that pressure of just, you know, trying to do this all alone. It's almost like once you. Once you realize that, you don't have to worry about the bigger questions. And I think instead of the. The question, at least for me, like, shifted from, like. Like, why am I here? What am I doing? Yeah. Maybe not what am I doing, but why am I here? And what's next? I think the question then becomes, like, okay, how can. What do you want me to do? You know? And I think that that is. I think that's a more. I think it is. It. It does. It's a more fulfilling way to live, too, because I think it's like. It's a question of, like, okay, yes, the afterlife. Yes. But it's also like, God, like, how do you want me to live now? Like, what's my assignment? You know, what do you want me to do? And I think that that is also a. I can't think of, like, what better way to live. You know what. While we're here. It's like, I'd rather do what God wants me to do rather than do what I think I want to do. What do you think of that? You're correct. All of the focus is removed from the self. Yeah. And I think, unfortunately, that's why there's a lot of people struggling with depression, anxiety. Just negativity, too, where it's like, yeah, because it's all on myself. Like, I got to carry the weight of the world myself. Yeah. That sounds exhausting. Like, it makes sense to me as to why so many people are maybe struggling with that type of pressure. Because I couldn't imagine my life that way. I mean, I would then just get completely lost, and I would drown in my negative thoughts and regrets and sorrow and, oh, my gosh, I should have done this differently. Oh, my gosh, I messed this up. Like, that's on me now. It's like, no, just, like, give that all up. It's not about the self. Like, get over yourself. And I've had to say that to myself internally, like, get over yourself, Ian. Because at the end of the day, it's not. It all comes back to the relationships. Like, first and foremost, your relationship with Jesus Christ. Secondly, with the people around you. There's a lot of freedom. A lot of freedom in realizing that. Yeah. A lot of weight that's taken off your shoulders. So once again, it is a powerful revelation when people finally understand the truth of Jesus Christ. Yeah. So I want to go back to that question, too, about parenting. Are there. Do. Are there things that you would. It seems like there's a lot that you would do the same way. Are there things that. Are there things that you would do differently? Well, I'm just a brand new parent myself. My daughter's only a year and a half, and I'm not doing it right. So when you say, would I do things differently, do you mean, like, when I was a child? Yeah. Well, yeah, there's a lot of things I wish I didn't do when it came to, once again, my behavior and sin. But I think that that has gotten me to where I'm at. You know, if. If I wouldn't have gone through those hard times or just moments where I knew I messed up, just perfect. Like, I. I think I don't know what I would be like today. I would be different, I would imagine. And maybe I will experience of, like, I can't do this on my own. Yeah. So, no, I mean. Yeah. What's it getting. There are things I wish I never said. There are things I wish I never did because I knew there were nothing honoring Christ. Yeah. I think it's really interesting, too, how, when I. When I asked that question, too, your. Your response is, even though you're a child, you know, is looking at ways in which, like, you claim to have fallen short. And I. I think that's really. I think that most people wouldn't answer that question that way. You know, I think most people would be like, oh, my parents did this wrong. They did this wrong. They did this wrong. And I wouldn't do that, and I wouldn't do that, and I wouldn't do that, you know, So I. I think that that's really. I think that's really interesting, you know, and I think that says. I think that says a lot about you as well, you know, and your introspective nature. And I think that that is. Yeah, I think. I think that that that answer says a lot about you. Thank you. Once again, no one's perfect. Um, I'm sure my parents would say the same thing, like, oh, we wish we would have done maybe a little different, some things a little differently. But once again, I thank God that they didn't, like, because we're all here together. We are such. Such an incredibly close family. I know that. And I think this is also super important where it's like, you got to have those people in your life that you can call at 2, 3, 4am and no matter what, they're answering that phone and saying, hey, I'm on my way over, or, yeah, let's do this. It's like those. Those people in life that you know are there for you, that you know will suffer with you and go through whatever life throws at you no matter what. Like, if you don't have at least one to maybe five of those people, I make the argument if you have way more than that, then, like, do you truly have any? But no, it's different for everyone, obviously. But my parents obviously have a single hesitation to call them or just show up at their house and say, hey, this is what I'm going to. Can you help me out? Like, what would you do if you were in my situation? Like, how would you handle this? Or just knowing that they would be there for me no matter what, that's powerful. It's actually impossible for me to put that into words as to what that actually means to me. Yeah. I think just hearing it, though, is like. It's like, wow, you hear that? And you're like, that is. To me, that seems like how like Jesus has loved us. Exactly. You know, it's like, who. Whatever you do, like, you're still my son and I love you, you know, it's like you joked about this before, but it literally is like the prodigal son story. That's me. But it's like. But it's like it's, it's, it's anyone, you know? Because it's like we're all going to fall short. But I think to be able to have to have that where it's like, it's always there for you, like, no matter what you do is. I mean, that is like, that's a real gift, you know? What was the father's reaction in the prodigal son? Just rejoicing that he came home. Yeah. No matter what that son went off and did, how much that son messed up and fell into selfish desires and worldly desires. That father rejoiced when that son came home. Yeah. And I know my worldly father and my heavenly father would do the exact same thing. Worldly mother, too, would do the exact same thing and did do the exact same thing. Because I'm very open with them around my struggles in the past and things like that and current struggles still. And they've never, I've never Felt like, oh my gosh, I gotta go talk to them about this or I, or no, I need to hide this from them. Yeah, that's never even been like, might be kind of pessimistic. Yeah. But I think that in Christianity you hear a lot less stories like that and a lot more stories of people who, it's like, oh, my son is gay and I stopped talking to him, you know, like, it's like, I think, I think there's so many, like people need to hear those stories, you know, because like that literally exemplifies like that's the difference between, between actually loving God and doctrine. And I think that, I think that people, people need to hear that and I think that they need to see that because like that is like, that is real fruit. And I think that's something that's like, that's not worldly, you know, I think it's, I think people want to say that they love their children unconditionally, but it's another thing to actually do it. And so. Well, yeah, it remind. Makes me think of the Pharisees. Very legalistic, you know, higher ups back in that day. And when I do hear something like, you know, my, my son is gay. That's exactly what Jesus attacked. And the Pharisees, you know, you gotta follow these laws, you gotta follow the books, whatever we tell you is law. Like, there's a reason why Jesus attacked the Pharisees harder than anyone else. Yeah. You know, and if someone came up to me and said, oh, my son is gay, I don't talk to them anymore, I would look them in the eyes, hopefully have the courage to look them in the eyes and say, oh, is that what Jesus would have done? Yeah. No, no, that's probably what the Pharisees would have done. Yeah. And Jesus attacked them the most for living that type of legalistic lifestyle and thinking that you're just better than everyone else. Like once again, lack of humility, a lack of type of. I mean it's all about the self, propping up the self, essentially. Yeah. So I loved that. That's one of the clearest things in the Bible that Jesus attacked that type of self righteous attitude and lifestyle. Are you up for a tough hypothetical question? Oh, gosh, we'll see. All right. I, yeah, I'm curious too, how like, how does someone, like, how does somebody who is rooted in their faith, how do they navigate, say a situation where they have a son who's gay and is like, hey dad, I want you to come to my wedding, I want you to come to my wedding. Like, how do you navigate that? It's hypothetical, so. Nope. Next. I'm just kidding. How do I navigate that? A lot of prayer, scripture, and reading devotionals, spending time with God. Well, at the end of the day, I don't know the son. As of now, I only have a daughter, but if my. That did happen to my son or my daughter, I would love them just like Jesus has loved me and God has loved me. Now, when it comes to, do I go to the wedding, Do I. Hey, I don't know. Honestly, I'm gonna. I'm gonna. I think I would still go. To be totally transparent with you, but I would try to communicate in the most direct but gentle way that I love and I love. I love the sinner, but I hate the sin, because once again, I am a sinner. And I hope people still love me, a son or daughter. To experience that love that I have for them, and by far and away the most, I would want them to experience the love of Jesus Christ. So I still. Oh, man, it's. That's a tough one. I would still probably be there. I would want to be there because I would not want to be that father that once again, falls into that type of, like, cancel culture. Yeah. And I do struggle with that, because it's like, well, if I'm going, then it's showing a sign of support for that type of lifestyle and sin. But once again, I believe at the end of the day, we have to show love. Yeah, that's a tough one. And we can't be. We can't be. We can't fall into that judgmental world. Yeah. It's a very tough one. And to be honest with you, I have not thought about it a ton, so I'm sure a lot of viewers would be like, no, that's right, or, no, that's wrong, and I'd be open. I. Drop a comment. Exactly. Drop a comment below. Help me out. Help me understand that one. Help me understand that one. Because I'd love to speak about that, maybe more with. With people who I love and trust. Yeah. Because I do have friends that are homosexual, and I love them, and they know that I am a Christian. It's really unfortunate when, you know, Christians get on their soapbox and start talking down and judging and things like that. Because once again, you know. Yeah. Yeah. Once again, there is a balance between not just, like, dancing around and being too soft and gentle and coming on extremely strong. Yeah. I think there's a time for both. Well, not really the Soft side. But, but the way we communicate is important. Yeah, yeah. We need to be very clear. But I mean, one of the fruits of the spirit is gentleness. So love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control. Sorry, that was a little fast. But like, we need to be gentle too because that's what honors Christ. Because God is gentle on us. You know, if he was up there, you know, calling, gosh, I couldn't even imagine if. What life would be like if, you know, I had to truly pay for my sins and the amount of times I've messed up. So. Yeah, that's a tricky one. Yeah, I think, yeah, that's a good one. And I think hearing you talk that one through has shifted my perspective on it too, you know, because I, I don't know, I've. This is like a tough thing to talk about too, you know, so. Yeah, that's not an easy one. I love it, I love it. But like, I feel like if I'm gonna make you talk about it, I should talk about it. That's only fair, you know. But I also, Yeah, I, I think I've, I see the logic of like, okay, I don't want to go, I don't want to show my support, but I think that I don't, I don't know, I think you can go and be there and not support it, you know, because the way I also viewed it is like, hey, if, if you don't go, you're shutting the door. Yeah. Like, that's going to cause a lot of damage with that relationship with your child. Yeah. And is that going to be, are you going to be able to fix that in the future? I don't know. Yeah. So that's like a very ultimate like, nope, door shut. And you're potentially cutting off that relationship forever and you're not even going to be able to say anything in the future. That, that's how I kind of like view it too. It's like you don't go. Yeah. Once again that you could make an argument as to maybe that's the right decision to. But you also need to think about maybe the long term impacts and how maybe going. Just to be there, you know, not celebrating the act, whatever it might be, but like going to say like, hey, I'm here and I. Because I love you and I hope we can continue talking about my faith and what that means in Jesus and how he might, you know, have an impact on your life. Because once again, I think it would be very difficult to have those conversations because the door will be shut in the future. So that's another way. Sorry to cut you off because. Yeah, it was your turn. You should have gone first. You can ask me a tough hypothetical. Well, yeah, I'll. I'll wait on that one. And I pull it out at some point. Surprise you. Because I. The, the example that I think about, too, is. I think about, like, growing up playing football. And this might be a stupid example, but I think growing up playing football, neither of my parents supported me playing football. You know, they're like, oh, it's dangerous, blah, blah, blah. But they were still there. You know, they're still there. They were still supporting me even though they didn't support my decision to play. And maybe that's an oversimplification, but I think maybe you should have asked me that one first. I thought that was. Yeah, I mean, but I. But I can see the connection. I think it's true. You know, maybe you're not like. I don't know, maybe you're not like, at the Jewish weddings I knew they put you on the chair and they. Maybe you're not sitting on the chair and, like, celebrating and you're the happiest person there, you know, But I think there's still a way to like, go and be supportive and loving and. And not to. Yeah, to not to encourage the sin. Yeah. Yeah. Which is. I think it's a. It's a tough thing. And I think that. I don't know, I think when it goes back to thinking about, thinking things through, you know, and I think that very, like, that's. That line of legalism we shouldn't drift into, you know, it's like, this is wrong. Don't do this. But it's like, I think it's important to, like, really question why, you know, why. Like, why is that? Like, why. Why is it that that is wrong? Because if you're met with, like, just an authoritative note. Because it. Because this is what it says. It's like, that's like when your parent asks. When your parent tells you, don't eat chocolate, because I said so. And it's like, okay, I'm just going to go eat chocolate. Yeah. So I think it's important to be aligned and to understand. To understand why, you know, And I mean, because. Because then it's on you if you don't. If you understand why and then you still make the choice, then it's. Then that's your responsibility. Yeah, but I think we have the responsibility to. Or we should at least ask and seek you know, and it reminds me of that verse where it's like, like seek and you shall find, knock and the door will be open. You know, it's like you should. I know that's referring to something else, but I think it still applies where we should seek the truth for ourselves. Yeah, absolutely. And I love that you just brought up Bible verses too, because I would encourage every single believer and non believer to go and memorize Bible verses, I think. And the way I'm going to tie this in is that having that type of scripture memorized has helped me so much with those tough situations, tough decisions, tough experiences in life. It just brought it to my mind. Yeah. In those words like, oh, this Bible verse. This Bible verse, like, has helped me. And it's helped me a. First and foremost just to slow down. Yeah. And be like, okay, hold on, Jesus want me to do here? Like, what. What is God calling me to do? Yeah. Because it's so easy to get lost in the busyness and craziness of life and just get stuck in the rat race and try to just accumulate as much as possible or consume as much as possible. So I would encourage. Because I know that's something that. And I. When you asked me that question in the beginning, I think the first thing I said was prayer and diving into the word, like having that scripture memorized too and being able to just have it all of a sudden, like God just bringing it to the front of your mind. Yeah. I know for a fact that has had a huge impact on my. Because yeah, it's. It's all there. Like it's all there. Yeah. For us to just to know God and Jesus, like, so take advantage of it. It's. I hope I'm not taking this conversation in a different direction, but I've got like, like two or three Bible verses that have really helped me in many ways throughout life. First One is Psalm 100, second Romans 12:1 and 2. And then the third, which I know a lot of people love this one, but what is it? John 11:35. Jesus wept. Yeah. But the way that I've kind of worked in my life is first with Romans 12:1 and 2. Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God. This is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the patterns of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your minds. Let's go. Then you'll be able to test and approve of God's will. Is his Good, pleasing, and perfect will. That section of. Do not conform any longer to the patterns of this world, but be transcended by the renewing of your minds. Like, that has helped me so much to deal with temptation. I mean, you name it. Temptation, worldly desires, peer pressure. Like, what are the. Like do not conform any longer to the patterns of this world. Like, what are the patterns of this world that we conform to? I mean, you could list so many, so many. But once again, I think it does boil down to just, like, lifting up yourself. It's all about yourself and like, to instead have your mind renewed. Like, what does that actually look like? Well, I think that actually takes me a little bit into the second Bible verse that's my. That I kind of like, follow up in this a little bit in this order. Psalm 100. Shout for joy to the Lord. All the earth. Serve the Lord with gladness. Come before him with joyful songs. Know that the Lord is God. It is he who made us, and we are his, we are his people. Sheep of his pasture, Enter his gates with thanksgiving and his courts of praise. Give thanks to him and praise his name. For the Lord is good. His love endures forever. His faithfulness continues through all generations. It's like, shout for joy. Like, enter his gates with praise. And I hope I didn't mess up any of those Bible verses, but maybe, maybe I did, and I probably set them a little too fast, but it's like, okay, do not conform to the patterns of this world. Renew your mind. How do we renew our mind? Focusing on Jesus, praising Jesus. Like, that's. That's worked for me throughout all areas of life. And then when the praise is not going so hot, because maybe what I'm going through is really tough and I might not just be in the mood to say like, oh, thank you, Jesus. This is amazing, because I do struggle with that sometimes. It's like, hey, Jesus wept. John 11:35, When Lazarus died, his friend died. He. He didn't just all of a sudden be like, well, I'm God. I can do anything. Like, Jesus wept. Shortest and maybe the one of the most powerful verses in the Bible. It shows the humanity and the empathy where Jesus probably knew that he was going to raise Lazarus to that anyways, but that didn't matter. He didn't just show up on his high horse and was like, oh, whatever. Like, I'll fix this. It's like, no, he was there. He wept with the people. He was there in our suffering, in our mourning, in our struggles, our pain. He was not Just once again, an aloof God that just kind of like, I'll just pull the string and do that, and we'll be fine. It's like, no, he was a human being. He experienced the same emotions that we do every single day. It's. He's. He is a suffering God that wants to connect with us in a very, very, very. Yeah, all you got to do is open up the book and read, and you'll connect. Like, things will come to you that are not of this world. And so that's kind of like the progression that I love to go through when those three verses especially. Obviously, there are so many Bible verses that come to mind that are so incredibly powerful and have shaped who I am and come to mind all the time and have helped me, but especially in those difficult times or when I need to make a difficult decision, like, those three have. Have helped me a lot. A lot. Yeah. So I would encourage everyone, like, hey, you don't need to memorize the whole Bible. But, like, I mean, it'd be great if it could figure out what works for you when it comes to memorizing Scripture. I mean, I would start with John 3:16, because that's a great one. But. But find what kind of work? Because we're all unique. We all have unique gifts and talents and shortfalls and shortcomings. So what kind of works for you in helping you take the focus off yourself and put it back on God? Something that cannot change. I would encourage everyone to do that through memorization. Amen. It's like having the test answers on your heart. And I love how you have different ones, depending on what you're feeling to go to, to encourage you. Yeah, I think that that is absolutely one part of it. I think another part, too, is also like encouraging others, too. When somebody else is struggling and you have something for that, you have a word for them. And I think one that for me, too, that I go back to. One is Psalm 37. I love that one. It's a long one, but, yeah. The Lord makes firm the steps of the one who takes delight in him. Though he may stumble, he will not fall, for the Lord upholds him by his hand. I was young and now I'm old. Yet I've never seen a righteous person forsaken, nor their children begging bread. And for me, like, for me, that one helps me when I'm, like, when I'm worried or I don't know what's the next step. You know, I don't know what. Or I'm like, God I'm impatient with God. I feel like he's called me to do something, but it's not happening in my time, you know, and. Because I know that that's just a reminder to go back and to. To get into his presence. And like Psalm 23, just like, when. Whenever I'm, like, worried, you know, it's if. If I'm like, if I'm scared for my life, like, I'm going in my head and I'm just like, the Lord is my shepherd. Yeah. And take me through that valley of the. Of death. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And yeah. So I think. I think the encouraging others is a important part too, you know, And I think it's good just to, like, also, from a biohacking perspective, for all the biohacker out there, I think it, like, it helps your memory too. You know, it's. It's good to, like. It's good. You're. You're sharper, I think, in terms of. Well, yeah, there are ways to, like, coach your mind. I'm a huge, huge believer in that. And so what are you gonna. What are you gonna coach your mind on? Yeah. I would much rather be the word than anything else. So. Yeah. Any final thoughts? Thank you. Thank you. Absolutely. What you're doing here is truly amazing. Using this platform, your voice, to spread the good news and reach as many people as possible is truly amazing. So keep going, brother. Thank you. This is awesome. And once again, thank you for having me. It was truly an honor and pleasure to be here and share. Hopefully I answered your questions okay. And didn't dance around too much, but, no, this was amazing. So thank you. Thank you. Yeah. Thank you for being here. And glory to God for the listeners. I gotta shamelessly plug Ian. He's also a wealth advisor. He didn't even. He didn't even mention it, so I think that says something about his trustworthy. I had to say that because he didn't even mention anything about that. That's hilarious. So you talk about a fun industry. That can be another episode. But so anyways, yeah, check him out. You know, you can find him if you really need to find him. All right, brother. Thank you again.