I Was a Workaholic - How I Found Leadership Brilliance and Work-Life Balance

Speaker A: This episode is part of a miniseries focused on improving your personal effectiveness. Today, we're diving into part one of Time Optimisation and you'll discover the one word that can save you hours of time. How to build practical systems that cut through the overwhelm. And, um, why blending time management with assertiveness is the ultimate key to reducing your stress. To help you implement this, I've created a free resource called the Time Generator, designed to save you over 500 minutes a week. Click on the link in the Show Notes or on UM screen right now to grab your copy. Downloading it also gives you weekly access to the Brilliant Leaders notebook, which delivers a written summary for those of you who want to take the learning to the next level. Finally, this is a live recording from a leadership development programme. It's packed with practical exercises, so feel free to pause and complete them as we go or wait until the end where I'll break down everything in this week's Pause, Reflect, act segment. So let's go. Hello, it's your leadership coach, Estelle Reid and host of, um, Optimizing Leader, uh, Brilliance, the place for calm, confident and strategic leadership. Stay tuned to the end for a mini coaching and reflective practice. Find out more about my services by heading over to estelle read.com so, welcome to module seven. We've only got one more content module after today, so the final content module will be stress management. And do you remember me saying that assertiveness, which we did last module, Time optimisation or time management and stress management, they all interlink. So last session we were looking at how we can be more assertive so that we sometimes say no to people so that stuff doesn't come onto our metaphoric production line. How we give feedback and also how we make requests. And by optimising that aspect of our communication, we can have less on our production line. And we're going to talk today about the practical implications of how we manage time. And it's a really important module because when you look at the statistics, we have the same amount of information to process in a week that our ancestors processed in a lifetime. So it just goes to show how much information we're bombarded with, how much we have to deal with. And so therefore we need systems to be able to reduce that overwhelm and to stop some of that stuff coming on our production line. Now, I come from a position of being the world's worst time manager. I remember when I went into my. So I went from administration into a professional human resources role and at the Time I had a boss who would send me lots of emails overnight. And in every email there was an instruction. And I can remember feeling overwhelmed, stressed. And in fact, I tried to resign from that role. It was six weeks before we were due to get married and my husband said, look, if you want to get married in six weeks, then you need to carry on with this job. So I did. But part of being able to carry on with that role was learning to manage my time. And back in the must have been late 90s, they used to give you a Filofax. Did anyone else have a Filofax? Yeah, I can see him nodding. That's right, yeah. And actually metaphorically, it is good for organizing your thoughts. So we'll do some system stuff today, or as in your time management systems. But there's also going to be a lot of personal reflection today and you can reflect on what your development areas are from a time management perspective. And then we'll get into, come on now, let's take a deeper dive and focus on what you're going to improve. And I'll share useful tips and theory. So that is the, uh, plan. So in terms of the content, we will begin with actually what's most important to you, both in your role at work, but also in life. Because sometimes I am a recovered workaholic. I really love what I do. And there's a famous quote from Parkinson's Law which is about, work will take whatever time you give it, basically. So with that in mind, we have to think about what are my habits, what are my routines, but also thinking about how much time am I actually going to give to work. So I have to have work time boundaries. So we're talking about that, but also how we make ourselves more efficient and more effective. Now again, I come from being neurodiverse, so I am not naturally a good time manager. And there are, uh, certain hacks that I use in order to keep myself on track. So for example, I can be hyper focused, but it means that, uh, sometimes I feel like I get sucked down a rabbit hole and so time just disappears. So how do you cope with that? If you have that type of scenario? And I use things like this timer, uh, I don't know if you can see it on my screen. Let me just see. Yeah, so I use a manual timer like that. So you know, when you're all in an exercise, it's no good me watching my watch because I will just get distracted or get sucked into another activity. So I have to use manual tricks like that. The other thing as well is for anyone that's neurodiverse, is that sometimes we can get sensory overload. So working from home for me is perfect because I only have these four walls. But in the olden days when I used to work for the law firm, worked in a big office block and I found that tough. And I come home at night with red cheeks. And it was because. So when we get sensory overload it's to do with over processing of sounds, sights, feelings. So anything to do with the senses, our senses can get overloaded which can impact our uh, effectiveness. So yeah, it's just working out what does and doesn't work for you. And some of the things that I share with you, you might think that's really impractical for my job. So set that aside and just cherry pick the things that work for you today. But we will be looking at uh, how do we optimize our uh, work around our uh, body clock, but grouping tasks together. But also how do we time block our diaries? And then we'll look at who is it that distracts you and also wastes your time and um, what are your time wasting activities and how can you save time? And then we'll look at people and time boundaries from a coaching perspective. When you're coaching your team members you'd be able to uh, there's all sorts of activities in there and you'll see some of the coaching models in there actually. And then the other thing that we've got is something called the time generator. So this is useful for home life if you add it all up, if you apply what I've suggested, you can save 500 minutes a week. And that's quite a lot, isn't it? And it's little hacks around. For example I use, I'll have to whisper, I use Alexa to manage certain tasks but as I say loads of tips in there and I thought you might as well just have that as resources. So here's that time generator and you can access it either by heading to the show notes and you can download it there or can see a link here, uh, on screen. Okay, we're going to get straight into an activity. You're going to reflect on which aspects of your time management work well, but also which aspects could do to improve or change. So as some prompts we've got, you could think about getting focused on what's important in your role. How clear are you about that? What are your weekly routines and habits like? Do you have a weekly plan? So if I was to do this. So getting focused on what's important in my role. What's important in my role is obviously responding to clients. But the one thing that drives my business is my podcast. That's one of the most important tasks because it then produces social media content and blog content. So one activity, and we're going to talk about the Pareto principle today. So 80% of your results will come from 20% of your actions, and that will be an example of why that's an important task and then having your weekly plan. So for me, Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays, I run the business in those days. Tuesdays and Thursdays, I am client facing and understanding. That rhythm of my diary was really important to not burning out. Because when I first set up my business, I would work all hours. If a client said, can you work five days a week? I would. And then I'd try and run my business in the evenings and at weekends. And that's how I ended up getting sick and burning out. And then thinking about how you optimize your energy for efficiency. So again, working out what's important, what is your 20% tasks that keep you efficient. So for me, that's getting a walk every day, getting up Kendall fell. That helps clear my brain. So I had to adjust my routine today so that because my husband had got something else on. Um, so normally we'll do that first thing in the morning. I'm, um, out at pottery class tonight, so I thought I need to get my walk in before I meet with you guys to make sure I've got sufficient energy. Eliminating distractions. So that could be things like stopping your pings on your laptop or on your phone. It could be doom scrolling on social media. It could be time wasting. People that like to waste your time and then thinking about what are your people boundaries like and what are your time boundaries like? So, for example, so my husband is retired, I work full time, My parents are retired and they are a similar age to my husband. And so my husband's going to play golf tomorrow with my mum's partner. Oh, are you coming as well? No, I have to work full time. So I have to keep reinforcing that boundary that, look, during the week I work, but I can see you in the evenings or I can see you at weekends. So, yeah, so we need people and time boundaries. So that gives you an overview. The thing is, once we are aware, it then puts us in the driving seat as to what we do. It gives us choice, doesn't it? So, so raising awareness of how we're spending our time to make choices. That's really good. And I love the fact that you talk about this wasn't your word, but in my mind, this is how it worked. It's almost like compartmentalizing. When I'm at home, I'm, um, focused on this, and when I'm m with my team, I'm focused on them. And yeah, I think that's a really good tip for reducing overwhelm as well, because you can't be. You can't be omnipresent, can you? So, yeah, great. Thank you for that. So we, we're going to move on to focusing on what's important. This is the quote that I was talking about earlier. Parkinson's law work expands so as to fill the time available for its completion. So, you know, and you were saying earlier about when we're enjoying a task, sometimes it might take us 10 hours, but then we are, uh, giving our time away for other activities, aren't we? And it's the same principle, you know, when we say yes to a task, we're actually saying no to ourselves. So if I say yes to doing this, I'm potentially saying no to time with my family, no to going to the gym, no to focusing on my priorities. My main priorities. I work a lot in the legal industry and those lawyers that have the biggest performance issues were those that would enjoy giving their knowledge away. So I remember one gentleman, he would. He was sat in the corner of the open plan office and he was like this fountain of knowledge. He'd been a lawyer for many years, but he would give his time away freely because it flattered his ego to be able to share his expertise and knowledge. But then he wouldn't get the main aspects of his job complete, which was earning. Can you do a little thing to help me out? And that's to simply hit subscribe or the follow button now, wherever it is that you're listening. So that's maybe on YouTube, Spotify or Apple, because the. That will help the podcast get found by other people and that then enables us to keep going because we continue to keep growing. What would be 5 star amazing though is if you could also leave a review. I really appreciate it. Thanks for your support. Was earning fees. And so then he'd end up on a performance review because he wasn't delivering what was important. So let me introduce you to the rocks, pebbles and sand metaphor. The idea is we have a big glass jar which represents how much time we have in a day. Now if you try filling that jar with just the sand first of all, followed by the pebbles. Then you'll notice that you'll struggle to get the rocks in there. So the idea that the rocks are your big needle moving business goals, the pebbles are, ah, the important daily tasks, and the sand is the endless administrative noise that we all have in our lives. And the idea is that you put the rocks in first, then you'll find you can get the pebbles in around the rocks and, and then finally you can pour the sand in which will spread itself around the rocks and the pebbles. And you're able to fit everything into your day and basically focus on what's most important. But if you fill your schedule with the sand first, you'll never get to the big rocks and focus on what matters. But also when it comes to a work perspective, the rocks typically tend to be our major goals. What am I actually employed to do? Uh, if I, for example, don't do my marketing, how am I going to continue to run a business? I can rely on, hopefully people referring me and you get that benefit having run a business for 20 years. But there are certain activities that I absolutely must do in order to keep my business turning over. You know, the other rock for me is making sure that I am, um, optimized in terms of my energy, my focus. I give my best to my clients during the day and we'll talk about energy in a bit. But I will only see two coaching clients a day. And that's because beyond that my concentration goes. And that's because we've only got four good hours a day. The rest can be filled with those pebbles and sand, if that makes sense. So it might be. So a pebble might be producing a report for somebody that you work for and it will be noticed if you don't deliver on, um, that report. The sand might be getting to the bottom of your emails in your inbox just so that you don't feel overwhelmed. And it's being aware of all these conflicting priorities. But it's just a useful metaphor for breaking down what's important. And you're going to get the opportunity to reflect on this in more detail in an exercise in a moment. So the other thing to think about is when we are, uh, prioritizing and planning our work. So sometimes it's thinking about this axis. So how urgent is a task versus the importance of a task? Which is why it's important we reflect on and think about what are the most important things in my role and in my life. So if we look down here, so if it's Low urgency and low importance, then we can bin it or delete it. For example, yesterday somebody was sending a phishing email and everybody had been copied to this massive list. And everybody was responding to this email. And within probably about 15 minutes, I must have had about 100 emails in my inbox. And I thought, you know what, I could try and resolve this. I could look on a Google AI and work out how to resolve it, or I could just leave it, bin it off and wait for it to resolve itself. And it did. So I let all the emails come through and then somebody resolved it. Then if we've got low importance but high urgency, is it something that can be delegated? So my team are, uh, my family, but also the external people that I use to do things that I'm not good at. So for example, I've got a lady who does my VAT retention return or tax return. So yesterday afternoon I was filling in the detail to send off to her. I'll delegate that. If I hadn't sent it yesterday, then it could have delayed my VAT return being done on time. Then we've got the firefighting corner, or quadrant. This is the, uh, horrible quadrant because it's high urgency and it's high impact. So for example, the other week, so every Tuesday my podcast is launched and my website went down. Um, there are, uh, links to various things on my podcast. So that, that for me was a firefighting moment first thing in the morning. And as a result of that, I've got a meeting with a guy to prevent that in the future. An IT guy who can take care of that for me because it's starting to get on my nerves. So I can email him and say it's gone down. Can you sort it out? And then we've got low urgency but high impact. So we've got time to plan. And I'm going to be talking to you about planning a little bit. It wasn't planned on this agenda, but because I've shared the whole time management handouts on there, I'm going to share with you how I plan my diary. So we are planning on doing that, but also using it in combination with a to do list so that we can plan activities. I'm old school, I like to have it on my desk. If I don't have it on my desk, I get distracted. And, um, it keeps me focused for the week. But yeah, on a Friday night that's what I'll do. I get myself focused, I know what projects I'm doing when the other thing I do with my calendar. And this was a real game changer. Was. So this is your time boundaries is I plan certain activities on certain days, which I'll come on to actually when we get to your routines. So this is that Pareto principle that I was referring to. So the law of the vital few. So the 20% of activities that deliver your 80% of results use the example of m. My podcast. So in the olden days, I tell you what I used to do, it was so draining. You could do one social media video a week and maybe one other post and that would see you through. Now, with AI, the social media feed is so saturated, if you're going to keep top of mind, I need to be posting daily to think about every single, every day putting my heart and soul into a post. And then the algorithm doesn't see it. It's really disheartening. This back down to the 20% recording a podcast, I've got a, uh, whole hour's worth of footage which I can then chop up into seven pieces of content and spread throughout the week. So that just really saves so much time. And then so this morning, the podcast that went out this morning, it's connected to a social media influencer. Uh, he's got over a million followers. And one of the things. So again, this is the 20 to 80% of the results. So because he's got such a big following, the podcast has really taken off. It's not down to me, it's down to his popularity. But again, it's thinking about what's my strategy, who is it that I would like to work with and what results will that, uh, deliver? It's having that reflective time, so it's thinking about what are your 20% tasks. So, next section. So establishing a weekly plan, routines and habits. So the idea of this is that, uh, when we use a habit, so a habit is something that we can do without thinking. So you've probably heard me say, at best, we are 5% conscious choice. At worst, we're only 1% conscious choice. Those of you that drive, you'll notice that you drive unconsciously. So you're not thinking, mirror, signal, maneuver, you are unconsciously driving. And it's the same with routines and habits. So you might have experienced this. For example, when you move house. I know that when we relocated to the Lake District, not only was our house different, so I had to consciously think about where was I putting my mugs when I was unloading the dishwasher, but also when I wanted to go shopping, I had to Put satellite navigation on, um, to take me to the shops because we were in a new area and all of that takes extra time. We're less efficient. Whereas if so, if we can do things routinely, it's a bit like Steve Jobs. The fewer decisions we have to make, the more routine we are, the more efficient we are. And you'll probably be aware that he used to wear turtlenecks, so there's no decision fatigue over what to wear each day. He's just going to wear the turtleneck. That's his uniform. So it prevents firefighting in. It allows us to plan. And it's thinking about what are our, uh, daily, weekly, monthly, annual, quarterly routines, and then finding a way of capturing those so that they don't get us into trouble. As in, it's like a last minute, oh, I haven't done, um, whatever it is that you're supposed, supposed to have done. But also if you're a manager or leader and you've got a team thinking about what are the rhythms for your department. So back to my to do list you may or may not have seen. So one of the projects on there is always my podcast. So I produce one podcast every week. So that's 52 podcasts. That's potentially 52 guests. If I don't do the one, some in between, which I do occasionally at the start of the year, that can feel quite overwhelming. Oh, my goodness, how am I going to find 52 guests? But again, it's breaking it down into those micro habits that makes it less overwhelming. So instead of getting to the next week and thinking, ah, I've got to record a podcast episode myself because I don't have a guest, I stay away from that firefighting quadrant by always being about six weeks ahead of the publication date. And then it is going back to what I showed you earlier, putting those blocks of time in your diary so that you can forget about them. So on, um, I think it's tomorrow and then a bit on Friday, I've put some blocks of time to do my podcast editing. And again, it's having everything. You feel more in control. I think when you've got a to do list and you've got your priorities, and then you transfer it to your diary so that nothing feels like a big surprise. And then it's setting up. And the trick is with these reminders that pop up is not to keep dismissing them, is there? Uh, and then they all tend to build up. But I use it from everything from birthdays, so I use it to manage life as well. So all my birthdays go on. So they're constantly on my phone. So I can always see what reminders I've got coming up. But they will pop up in the morning. So, you know, saying, I need to post a real daily on, um, Instagram. I'll get a reminder that pops up in the evening on my phone. Um, it's systematizing things, but it's also working out what your weekly rhythm's gonna look like. But also your daily rhythm. Now, if you're checking your email every five minutes and it's dead easy to do these days, isn't it? On our phone, that's 24,000 times a year. So when we are constantly breaking our attention like that, we're not efficient, we're not effective, we're not focused. And focus is what drives our results, being able to focus. So whenever I put this up, people will say, I can't just check my emails twice a day. No way. That just will not work. Adapt it. If you need to check more than twice a day, try thrice a day. I dare you, uh, to try doing this three times a day. So three times a day you will look at your to do list. So the acronym is temps. To do list, emails, messages. So that could be if you still get written messages, but messages on your apps, your post, if you still get physical post and social media messages, and batch all of that checking habit together. And this then works with this weekly plan. So structuring your day. So you'll see first thing in the morning is admin, so that you could do your temps. First thing in the morning, I'm going to check my emails, my messages. You can really tell what a person's like by the way that they organize the phone. So I have one square down here, and in that, uh, square I've got, I check my health stats, I check my stress stats, I check my horoscope. First thing in the morning, I check my podcast. I'm, um, showing you this. You can't see, can you podcast. I check all my social media stats, and that's. So it's all clumped together. And in the first thing in the morning, that's where I'm checking. Then I'll go to my emails, I'll look at my to do list, I'll sort out the messages. And because so if we think about the brain, what we're doing there is we are, uh, we're doing lots of small tasks together, but we're batching it together. And then once we've done that we then get into. So you'll see here might not work for your routine but you've got to work out your own. Then we've got project work. Now when we get into the next section, which is about how to optimize our energy. So for me, if I'm being creative, I do my project work in the morning. That's when my brain is most creative. If I try and do creative project work in the afternoon, it doesn't work, it's much slower, it's less efficient. But back to temps, um, twice daily. So you'll see you've got time to do it there at 9am and then time to close off the day at ah, 4pm now again you will work out what works for you. You'll see lunch is blocked out and then let's say for argument's sake it works best for you energetically to have client appointments or to have meetings in the afternoon. Then that's where you try and schedule your meetings now with the best well in the world. And I appreciate some of you will have open calend. I don't expect perfection. It's just thinking about what are the blocks of time I have and how can I best organize my week. So if you were to look at my weekly plan, Mondays as I mentioned, Wednesdays and Fridays are ah, running my business. So I will do project, so I'll have the same admin slot across the same week. I will do my project work on Mondays and on Wednesdays and then on Friday I might do my billing, my accounting and that type of thing. But you will work out what rhythm works for you. So what you're going to do now is you're going to have a go at sketching out a routine that would work for you. But having looked at and focused on what's important in my role, what are the major chunks? If you had a blank canvas, how would you reorganize your week? So you'll see there having thought about what your ideal week could look like. And can I just say that with some clients this can be life changing for them. Mapping out their ideal week or the other way that you can use the weekly plan activity is to map out how your week is in reality. And this is the life changing part for some clients is to go, oh, actually I'm cramming way too much in or I'm um, wasting time here or whatever else. So what you can actually do is map out how your week is in reality and then work out how you'd like your weekly plan to be so that's another way in which you can use that activity. But also having looked at this activity, then also to work out what are my routines that I need, what are my daily, my weekly, my monthly and my yearly routines that I need to be aware of. And then transferring those into a recurring reminder, uh, on your calendar so you don't forget them. And I can't recommend time blocking highly enough if you routinely do project work or know that you have, you need that focus time block, claim that time in your diary so that others don't and that uh, and all we're doing here. And I know it can seem scary to do that, to not be totally available if that's how you like to be. And I remember working many years ago with and he came to me, he was stressed and I said, look, we're just going to slow the pace of your production line. Fancy a chat? Or maybe you're interested in the optimized leader program Next level. You can book a free 15 minute call, see the link in my show notes because, and this is the metaphor I use. So when we've got too much on our production line, we either speed it up, try and work fast or we work longer hours. But of course our production line will break down if we don't take regular breaks, lunch breaks, take our holidays. And this was a guy that was working on holiday as well, so he's missing out on family life too. And he said, yeah, but if I don't see my clients, I've got all these people that want to come and work with me. And I said great, you're a success. So if they want to come and work with you, say yes, you can have an appointment. My first slot is on X day and I had this the other day actually. A guy was trying to book an appointment and he said, oh, your first date is only on. Have you not got anything sooner? And I said I'm afraid I've not. That's it. So it's that, uh, being clear about what your boundaries are, where you've got slots, claiming time on your diary by blocking those bits of time out. Before we sign off, I'd like to invite you to my quick reflective practice called Pause Reflect act as your leadership coach. I'm um, here to help you translate today's insights into personal growth and your next steps. Answer the prompts that follow in your journal or notes. Alternatively, you can access my complimentary journal and self coaching tool in the show notes or head over to estellead.com so here's this week's Pause, Reflect act for the time Optimization episode. And unusually, there's going to be five questions this week because it was an activity based episode. So feel free to grab your journal and let's reflect. So Question Number one the Time Audit Activity when you want to see Map out how you're currently spending your week. What surprises you the most? Where are you investing time that doesn't reflect what you say is important to you? Number two the Rocks, Pebbles and Sand exercise Looking at your current to do list, how much of your day is filled with sand and pebbles before you've protected time for your rocks? What would need to change to put the rocks in first? Number three the Urgent Stroke Important Matrix Think of a task you've been firefighting recently. Could it have been prevented with better planning? What would it look like to move the task into the plan Ahead Quadrant? Number 4 the 8020 Pareto Principle Reflection what are your 20% activities? The ones that generate your 80% of your results? How much of your week are you actually dedicating to them and what is getting in the way? Number five the ideal Weekly Plan Activity if you were to design your ideal week from scratch, with time blocked for your priorities, your energy peaks and your boundaries, what would this look like? What is the one thing you could implement in your diary this week? If you'd like to be notified when the next episode drops, remember to subscribe. If you found this episode helpful, please share it with someone who might benefit. Finally, if any of these topics have sparked your interest and you'd like to work with me, you can apply for a free discovery call at. Ah estellread.com let's see if we're a good fit. You'll also find plenty of free resources there. I'm Estelle Reid, Executive coach, speaker and um, best selling author. Uh, and this has been the Optimizing Leader Brilliance Podcast. Thanks for listening. This podcast is for informational purposes only and should not be considered professional advice. Please consult with a qualified professional for any specific advice related to your situation. M.