Who Are You Without the Title? Identity, Purpose, and Peak Performance with Matt Young

This episode is brought to you by Google Chrome. You think you know a browser, but Gemini and Chrome, that's new. It can help you with practically anything on the web, like restoring a vintage motorcycle from a 50 page restoration block. Or finally, break down that long article you've had open for weeks. Gemini and Chrome is here for it, ready to make anything online make sense. There's no place like Chrome. Check responses set up, required compatibility and availability. Various 18 I wrote a little song to remind you. Choice hotels get you more of the experiences you value. Mmm. The Cambria Hotel's got it all. A rooftop bar. Have a ball. Cocktails up here feel just right. Ms. Cambria. Amazing. All right, bring a date, your team or even your mom. Book direct@ChoiceHotels.com See you on the roof. What happens when the thing you've built your entire identity around disappears? For years, Matt Young was a professional footballer, chasing a dream with relentless focus. But when a series of devastating events stripped away his career, his relationship, his home and his sense of self, he was forced to answer a question most of us spend our lives avoiding. Who are you? When the title, the success and the performance are gone? Today we're talking about identity, resilience, rock bottoms, and why becoming your best self has far less to do with achievement and far more to do with discovering the human being underneath the shell. Enjoy the show. Welcome to Make It a great one with Dr. Daniel. This show is all about bringing hope, connection, awareness and wisdom through meaningful conversations that inspire us to be better versions of ourselves and have a positive impact on humanity. This is your space to pause, reflect and reconnect with who you are, what you care about and who you want to be. We have this moment, this day, and this life. Let's make it a great one. My guest today is Matt Young, a peak performance coach and the founder of Matt Young Life Coaching, also known as Made in the Mind. Matt has spent more than 15 years studying peak performance from the inside through eight years as a professional footballer with over 100 professional appearances, and as an endurance athlete with 18 marathons and seven ultramarathons to his name, five of them over 100 miles. He's trained in life coaching, neuro, linguistic programming, hypnotherapy and personal training, and has worked with organizations including FIFA, Google Cloud, Shell, Tottenham Hotspur, and the TCS London Marathon. His coaching helps people break through limiting beliefs and emotions so they can unleash their true potential. And he's coming us today from the beautiful island of Malta. Matt, welcome to the show that is an Incredible introduction. I hope I can do this, do this conversation service. So thank you very much for having me. I'm. Oh, you're welcome. There's no worries there. I've been watching and listening to your stuff and you are a peak performer, so I know you're going to deliver. Thank you very much. I look forward to it. So I wanted to start with, you know, we'll be talking about identity and changes in identity and, you know, who we are on the outside, who we are on the inside and that transformation that you went through which has. Allows you to help so many others do the same. So I wanted to start with the experience of being a competitive footballer as a youngster with the, with the eye on going pro and, and, and what that experience is like from within and how that forms athletes like yourself. Right. Well, I can tell you from my personal experience, for me it was football or bust. For me it was from the age of five until, or even after. But until I made it professional at the age of 18, it was, and I don't use the word lightly, an obsession. It was something for me where it was football or nothing. And my whole life, but probably, probably too intently at times, was geared towards being a professional footballer. From the age of 12 years old, I only went to school four days a week because on the fifth day I'd be taken out of school by the football club who I was with at that stage. And you'd do a day training and being that sort of sense and, you know, different ways in which I lived my life from such a young age was geared around professional football. And for me, from my personal experience, that's been something that I've carried and looked to learn upon because like I said to you, there was detriments to that as well. But carry forward into each and every area of what I've done, into the things of what you've mentioned, I'm sure we'll get into since then. As a having. There is my Plan A and other ways to make Plan A work for me. And for me that was all that was always the focus for me. Of course I had hiccups and problems and challenges along the way. But one thing that I have always tried to hold dear to myself and as a value in which I've lived by is that circumstances can change the course of things, of course they can, but they don't necessarily change the outcome of what I'm going to achieve. And that started with, as you said there from an early age with my professional football. You talk about the having to go through it, right? Having to go through it and come out on the other side. And, you know, there's. There's peak performers, there's. In all domains. And you and I both work with people who. From all walks of life, who. Who come. Who come from many backgrounds and many endeavors. And my experience has been when we have our mind set on something, we build our whole life around that. And for most, like you said, a plan A or A making Plan A work. You know, most people don't have a plan B because I almost feel like part of the drive of whatever the performance is, is focusing on an A, not A. If that doesn't work out, then I'll just do that. That's something that comes, I think, from circumstance, right? And learning to be resilient and learning to. That there is more to us than that. That being said, how if you could describe when things were starting to take shape in a way where you realize this is different, this is going to be different. And I think as I. As I'm listening to myself, I'm wondering about the outside, what was happening. But then, of course, what was happening inside you as you were seeing some potentially inevitable changes coming, right? And I think for me, that was very much delayed seeing those changes coming for so many years. For me, it was almost like banging my head against the brick wall that when am I gonna get this breakthrough? Both within myself, I think, but also in seeing the results of what I wanted with my career and where that was at. And I do. It's funny because I do think back now and I'm like, at such a young age and, you know, such an impressionable age. Why. Why would I stay the course? Why would I keep going that when I'm not seeing that instant gratification, when I'm not seeing that instant reward, I'm not seeing those things to light me up instantly. Why would I stay with that? And for me, I look back at that time, but I had such a burning desire, an underlying drive and underlying why. And I think, to come to your point, there's. That people have Plan A and other ways to make Plan A work is because it's not even fathomable that there is a life beyond that possibility. You know, this is going to take it slightly on a rogue subject, but my favorite music artist band is Oasis and Oasis and the Gallagher brothers. And I heard one of the Gallagher brothers say once that if he wasn't in Oasis, if he wasn't a rock star, he just. The world was just black he couldn't even fathom a world without that. And I think when that's the case, you start to, even when there's not those instant rewards externally, even when there's, you know, you're battling those internal things, it's no, this is, this is the route I've taken, this is my life, this is what I'm going to create and make happen. And then in a short period of time for me, doors started to open. And then after all of those years, you start to get that professional contract, you start to make sort of your professional debut, you start to do these certain things and start to see it and you go, right, this is what it was up for. And internally then that starts to produce more feelings of pride and acceptance and all of these different things which like I said, and maybe for later on or another day that that can have an adverse effect as well. Because now all of my self worth is linked to the fact that I'm only achieving these things, which was a bit of a battle for me. But essentially for me it was that burning desire underneath that said, this is what we're going to make happen, this is how we're going to make happen. This is what I see in any high achiever or high performer I've worked with or seen is that even when there's not that instant gratification and acknowledgement, there's still no hesitation, there's no wavering of the fact that this is where I'm heading. And that's always something that I've tried to hold dear as well. It seems that there's this razor's edge of to be great at anything, one must fully throw themselves in to that endeavor, the discipline, the tenacity, the perseverance, over and over and over again. And it's with one's body, it's with one's dexterity, it's with one's mind. And yet, so I think we agree on that. I've heard you talk, so I know we agree on that. And then I think what we also agree is it can be really difficult when our identity is completely tied into our performance, our outcome based in whatever this endeavor, skill, passion is. And so this razor's edge is this, this full commitment. And yet you are more than a footballer, you're more than a marathoner, you're more than a dancer, you're more than a CEO. Right? So how do we, how do we balance those two, I think necessary components to performance and well being? I think it's a really wonderful point because it is Honestly, the biggest learning that I've had in my own life because of the. There are failures, quote unquote, of what I dealt with, because my whole identity, my whole being was centered around Matt Young the professional footballer. And if you'd asked me about Matt Young, the human being back then, what do you mean? I wouldn't even know what you were talking about. This is who I am. And that's great. That's wonderful while it lasts, because then when Matt Young the footballer stops, the phrasing of which I use is left behind was a shell of a man. There was this. There was the shell of a human being there, but no real substance to him because he had never had any work or development or growth or any form of acknowledgment or understanding or dealt with things that had gone on in his past or anything like that, or looked after his. Well, Matt Young the human being wasn't even conceived. It was Matt Young the footballer. That was my whole life. And I think it's one of the biggest things, and you called it the razor's edge there, that it's a big part of the work of what I deal with now that people find themselves getting stuck in. And it's not that anyone's done anything wrong, but it's that we tie ourselves to the identity of said person. And when we tie ourselves to that identity is what keeps people stuck. You know, I always say that the Olympic athlete doesn't train for four years and prepare for the Olympics and everything that goes with that for the gold medal. They do it for the feeling of what give it. That gold medal represents the feeling that comes with that is the feeling of pride, of self worth, of adulation, of all of this time effort that's been put up and it's been represented in this physical marker, if you like. And so a big part of the work of what I do with athletes and such and other people in this area now is almost detaching, detaching from the Olympian, the dancer, the athlete, and attaching to the human being and going, right, these feelings that you're so desperately looking to attain via this vehicle. How can we implement them, how can we develop them within the human being so that when you, as the athlete or the parent or whatever it may be, go and achieve even more in that area, It's. It's an overflowing and it's not a God. I got there. I needed this to make me feel something. Because that is the. You said it perfectly. The razor's edge where so many Elite performers live. Yeah, I. I think there's sort of this old school way of, I want to say, of performing, of leading, of reaching one's peak. And then there is this, I don't know, together we'll come up with it. I don't know if it's a newer way or it's actually like a more eastern infused philosophy way. But, you know, one is through force, Right. The first is through force. And through that force, usually over time, like bodies break down, minds break down, souls break down. And there is this hollowness when one gets to the other side. And the other way that you just described, which I love, is the way we're gonna help you become reach your goal is actually by being a healthy human being who knows thyself, who understands there's so much more to you than this goal. And through that wholeness and that health and that wellness coming around the circle, you have a much better chance to not only achieve your goal, but to be whole. And I want to say relatively okay if you don't. And the reason I say relatively okay is because we know high performers are not just fine when they don't achieve. Right. But I'm saying, like still healthy on the other side, even if it doesn't work out as planned. Absolutely. And yeah, and that is exactly where I talk about where we tie our identity to. Because so many of us are tied into a vocation or profession or something that says, this is who I am, you know, this, this work in which I undertake every day, this is who I am. This performance that I put on every day, this is who I am. And without the performance, without the job, without the career, whatever it may be that we tie our identity to, that's where we often get so stuck. So stuck. And it's not through anyone's fault, but it's where it keeps people caged. And that's the real key of the shift, of that, of looking to draw that back and put ourselves in a place of going human being. What does that person need? What does Matt Young need away from that? Because when I can develop that part, like I say, these other areas of life, they overflow me. I'm not walking around a little bit Oliver Twist like, oh, please, can I have some more, you know, adulation from this or recognition from this to make me feel something? No, I top up my own pint glass, so to speak, and allow other vehicles to overflow it. Yeah, I had, I had. I'm reflecting on this two experiences in my life where I've dealt with this one was, grew up being a competitive tennis player. And so that was everything until after my first year of college, it was clear to me that I wasn't good enough and I no longer had the passion to get better. And so there was that pro, that process because I was known in my circles as like, yeah, competitive tennis player. And so I remember that transition was not, was somewhat challenging, but not as challenging as my transition from being Dr. Dan, the licensed psychologist for decades to no, I'm more than this. I'm going to go into coaching. I want to, you know, work with people, leaders, executives, anyone who wants to be coached. And in that bridge from getting from there, which I still am a psychologist, I still do that to being coach, I was lost in a fascinating way. Now I could say fascinating, it didn't feel fascinating. But you know, it was the fear, the self doubt, the imposter, the, well, who am I really and what do I really do and how do I impact and am I good enough? And people on the outside, like, were laughing when I would share with them. I mean, laughing in a way of disbelief. But it was all about identity, you know, all about, this is who I am and this is how I feel competent. This is how people see me and this is how I see myself to. This isn't working anymore. I need to do something different. But who am I? Like, how is it? Like, it's almost like, where's my where, where, where? I'm taking off this shell, I'm putting on another shell. But to your point, it's not about the shell, it's about who we are inside. Absolutely, that's, that's exactly it. And this is what I think stops so many people from living a life full of expansion and growth is because we become so familiar with, like what you said there that the psychologist and such have. That's, that's how, that's who I am, that's how I operate the coaching. Is there substance to me or was I, did I have substance in this area? Like, and it's what keeps people stuck in their emotions, their relationships, their careers, their finances. Because our whole being is attached to things that are placed externally in our lives. Whereas, like what you say, if I realize that I can wear so many different shells and you know what? I feel great in all of them. Some of them I like, I like the feeling of this shell. You know, I'll change that feel, change that shower, wear that shell instead. The substance of me I can carry everywhere. Everywhere. And that's been the, dare I say, One of the biggest single shifts in my own life, and definitely one of the things, especially when I'm working with, you know, the athlete who like myself, for the best part of 15, 20, 25 years of their life, professional sport is all they've known. And then all of a sudden, whether it be an injury, whether it be the ending of a contract, whether it will be a choice that they've made, their career, their livelihood, the way they know how to operate, changes like that overnight. And overnight that shell, they now have to go and find a new one. And it's like. And so it's one of the biggest, biggest things that not even in elite. Elite sport or elite performance, but also in everyday life that people. I would implore people to really explore is what's the substance underneath the shelves we're wearing? Because when we can get clear on that, work on that part, life becomes that much more freeing. I know you did a lot of work on yourself, a lot of exploration, a lot of study as you were going through this on your way to becoming someone who guides and leads others through it. Sometimes for folks, it's a cumulative effect. And there are some times that there is that, like, the light just goes on when we're. When we're going through it and we're struggling and we're trying to get out the other side and we don't know where it is. But then this. There's someone. There's something. There's some technique that really, like, helps us transition. And I'm wondering, did you have an experience or experiences like that that you look back on as highly significant for your transition and transformation? Yeah, for sure. I wouldn't necessarily call it a technique or strategy, though. I would just elicit mine to pain. Pure, pure pain. And I think we all can sometimes be unsatisfied, unfulfilled, disappointed. But where the pain emotionally becomes so strong in our lives, it can be one of the biggest catalysts for change. And for me, this is why I do what I do now, because I don't want people to necessarily go and feel these same ways of which I felt at that period of time. And so I'd want to, you know, help people before they get to that point of pure pain. Because for me, there was a process of, you know, at some point, Hollywood would write a film about this. I quit the Five Days that Changed my life because in the area of my relationships at that time, intimate and family, in the area of my career, in the area of my finances, in the area of my living situation, These four things in a period of five days. It wasn't like small things just completely revolutionized my life. And it was so much that happened that was probably, in hindsight, accumulative effect of years and years and years of not dealing with certain things and pushing them aside. And now I'll bury myself in Matt Young, the footballer, so I don't have to deal with these things. It come to a period of, like I say, over these five days, where life just emotionally, mentally, physically just got turned upside down. Where it was a very dark and tough time. But ultimately there was the conversation, I cannot operate this way anymore. Whatever manual I've been living from, subconscious manual, this cannot be the manual that I continue to live from, because this. I've experienced this for long enough now. There's just pain, pain and more pain here, and it's accumulated in all of this. And for me, that was the catalyst. Wasn't as if to say that night everything changed, but that was the catalyst of change for me for sure. So in that five days, through that pain, that awareness of looking at all these areas of your life, you're like, I can't keep doing it this way. Was it the awareness combined with the pain that propelled you to do things differently? I mean, was that. Was that it? Because what happened at the end of five days? Like, what did you end up doing that got you on a different trajectory, right? A great question. I would love. I would love to give myself some form of, you know, spiritual enlightenment and say that I had this beautiful awareness of. But truthfully, I was. That wasn't the case, truthfully. You know, I said four main areas there, but one happened the second happened, and then the third happened. About the time the fourth happened, I feel so beaten down, so emotionally drained, and so in that place that I was like, you know what? This. This has to change. So it wasn't as if I had an awareness to that point. It was like, you know, I just can't stay in this corner anymore. I can't stay in this place. And for me at that stage, and I've never really thanked this person enough for this, is that there was someone in my life at that period of time, and he come to me on that fifth day, and he just said to me, matt, do you read? I was like, do I read? Like, leave me alone. No, I don't read. Like, what on earth? He's like, read this book. I was like, no, I don't read. He was like, I'm going to send you this book. Just read It And I was like. And I didn't really pay any attention. And I remember driving home on that day and I got home and it was next day, like next day delivery. There was a book that had arrived for me and the book was called, and I'm sure very aware, the Secret. The Secret. And I read this book at that time, the Secret. And I'm notoriously a slow reader. I don't enjoy reading. I didn't enjoy reading. I read this book back to front twice in three days. In three days, back to front twice. And I remember reading that it was like, it was almost like never leaving your hometown. And then one day just being completely aware of this brand new location with beaches and palm trees and sun and things. And I'm like, I've never, never even known about this. And for me, that just turned into such a light bulb shift for me that I just took that moment and ran with it and you know, many, many, many years down the line. Now it's not that I necessarily believe everything at this stage that was in that particular book, but I do credit it, credit it and that person who sent it for me for being such an incredible catalyst for me to go. This is what I'm going to start to take back control now. I'm going to start to build the substance within Matt Young the human being, not Matt Young the shell. And that was really the main shift for me in that area. That's beautiful. Thank you for sharing. And I think it's so important for everyone tuning in to, to be aware there's these, there's guides that show up in our lives like this particular individual and they offer something. And we're not always in a. We're not always paying attention. We're not always in a position or feeling like we want to engage. And you didn't have to read the book. I mean, you know, you couldn't not listen to him, but you didn't have to absorb what he told you and you didn't have to read the book. But something happened right there at a moment that the moment was ripe, he showed up and him. And this book changes. Changes, of course. And that's the thing, I think, you know, I always believe now that, you know, life in some way, if I can find it, is always happening for me some way. And I think, you know, if he had given me or suggested that book literally a week prior, that book may never have been read, never have been read because I wasn't in that place. But after those five days and everything that happened I think sometimes say now that rock bottom can be a beautiful place because when you feel like you're at rock bottom, the only way you can look is up. And I think I was at that stage just looking for something, something to be a form of guidance, a form of assistance, a form of support, a form of a way out. And when I opened the first few pages of that book, it just, it was like something went off in my memory. Now I remember something went off in my brain and I was like, oh my. And I just got obsessed with it. Like most things, I got so hooked on it. Twice in three days I read that book and it was like, right. And then from there it just, it's never stopped. It's been an all out learning and digging and finding out more and uncovering more. And it's where the journeys of the different runs and things that I went on since that have all come from, from that place. You know, we're programmed as humans to avoid pain. And as you've brought up pain a few times, those of us who are in the, both healing and coaching and all the allied professions know that the pain is the catalyst, the pain is the messenger. Most of the time my question is, do you think profound change is possible without significant pain? Yes, I think, I think it's a great question, but yes, I do. One thing I would say though is that takes, that is the ownership of the individual in question to take that upon themselves to be aware and find solutions. You know, why wait until we're in debt to start calibrating our finances? Why wait until we're severely overweight to then start to take care of our house? But unfortunately, dare I say this is what a lot of people do. They wait until the pain becomes so strong. Myself, I'm not unscathed in that era with how I used to live. Before they choose to take action, we almost, you know, as we say, the metaphor that we use over here in England is that we almost put the parking ticket on the mantelpiece and try to ignore it for a while and hope that it doesn't accrue interest. And that might go away at some point. That fine just keeps stacking up and up and up and up, interest, interest, interest, interest, until eventually there's someone knocking at your door that says it's time. And that's essentially, I think the way a lot of us approach life with their relationships, health, emotions, you name it, is we wait until the pain becomes so strong because we hope that there's going to be a change. Now Part of the work in which something like this platform here of this podcast provides is conscious awareness to create change, conscious awareness to plant seeds, plant things of empowerment and change and growth within people. See, we don't. We don't have to get to that place. We don't have to get to that place of complete fear and dread. But like I say, that comes from an ownership and a responsibility of the listener to be able to say, right, you know what? I can see the trajectory of where I'm heading. You know, it's almost like I'm driving on the highway. Now, I know that this ends in a car crash 10 miles down the road. It's my responsibility to have to find an alternative route before I get there. And so I do think it's possible, but for the last time, I think that's the responsibility of the listener to be able to implement that for themselves. And I feel those of us who have had our rock bottoms, very few consider it a gift at the time. When I think about one in mid to late 20s, when I made it through and people asked me about it, those in my close circle who knew about it, I would say something like, it was the most important experience that I'm glad I had that I never want to have again. But it was. But with, without it, the growth and awareness and higher level of consciousness or however we want to talk about, it would not, it would not have been possible without literally and figured, you know, one being brought to their knees. And I think that again, for people listening and those loved ones that they care about who might be suffering, it's. It's how to see these as, this is our, this is our mind, body and soul giving us messages. As you say, I cannot operate like this anymore. Something has to change. And as the secret opens up so many possibilities, it's thinking about all of the possibilities. There's possibility to potentially change your geography. There's potentially change your job, potentially change your living situation, your relationship, your relationship with yourself, the way you eat, the way you exercise, who you surround yourselves with, you know, what substances you take. Like, there's so many possibilities for micro change as we're trying to find our way and as you and I both a spouse is, having a trusted someone in the depths can be very helpful and is often, often needed. Absolutely. And I think you touched on something so pivotal there that. And it's exactly right. This is where I mean about when I say there's a deeper meaning where if we search for it, life is always happening. For me, in some way the depth of care and the depth, passion and drive that I have now I would never have within me if I hadn't gone through those circumstances. Now with that being said, would I wish to go through them again? Absolutely not. Definitely not. That rock bottom, you know, once was enough for me. Once was for many lifetimes to come. That will do. But I think the real key shift here is when we use life circumstances, we are not used by life circumstances. And it's something that when I see people and I'm working with people who may be quote unquote stuck in a certain place, they feel like a life circumstance is using them. The breakdown of a relationship, the ending of a career, the problem with the finance and their powerless to do anything about it. Now personally don't believe that. I believe that we always have an ability to invoke a form of change or invoke a form of influence, whether it's within ourself and, or a situation. So I think it's that always that part of looking to find that deeper meaning, that deeper understanding of going right, how can I use this situation? Almost like a slingshot at times. But right now I really feel like I'm being pulled back right now I really feel like I'm in the trenches here. But I know that this is going to be the catalyst to slingshot me forward into the next realm of where I am. And that produces a driver, motivation, inspiration within people that I think unless you've been in those places, you can't otherwise learn in a textbook. And that's like I say something that's so, so powerful and you touched on it there that although I'd never wish to go through it again in a roundabout way, I'm thankful I did. I'm thankful that my partner at that time chose to end that relationship with me. I'm thankful that that football club done a complete 180 degree turn on me and the day I was meant to be signing that contract got rid of me and pleased that you know that that house where I was living literally kicked me out the day after. And all of these things that go on and you go at that time, I cannot fathom how this is happening to me. In hindsight now I go without that I wouldn't be the man that I'm proud to be or the man who gets to sit here and have a wonderful conversation with himself. So it's always a case of I believe, trying to find those higher meanings. Yeah, well that's the first time I heard in, in those details so it's important that everyone hears because, you know, we just see people as they are and assume it just all kind of works out. So as you just dropped, really subtly there is. You think you're going to get signed, you get dropped, your relationship ends and you get kicked out of your housing. I mean, and I'm sure that's just some of it. So, I mean, like, yeah, you were. You were in it. The universe was. Was speaking to you in a very big, loud way. Absolutely. And it was, you know, like I say I won't go into all of it now, but, yeah, that sort of scratched the surface. I was living with my partner, she ends the relationship, I move out of that house, I move into another house. The next day, I get turfed out of that house. Going to sign my football contracts and say, you know what life I can change my life around. I literally go into sign on that day. They do literally 180. And it's almost like, imagine your first day of work and then when you get there, they go, actually, no, we don't want you. Do you mean you don't want me? I'm here to do my first day. And then you leave there. And then, like I said, I won't go into too much detail here. But then finance literally had some things happen on that day where finances go crashing. And I'm looking at. I'm going, I'm now in the north of England, away from where I live. I have no home to go to. I don't think I've got enough petrol in my car to even get anywhere. I'm literally walking around this lake going, I've literally got nowhere to go. Wow. Nowhere to go right now. And even if I wanted to, I wouldn't know how I'd get there. And there's all of these things that happen where I look back on this now and I say, that was the worst moment of my life by none at that time. And I don't say that for your empathy or sympathy, but I say that for an understanding of going. But now I'm so thankful for it because it allows me now to, you know, feel people and touch people and emotionally be able to work with people in a depth that I would never have been able to do had I not been through that. And that's something that I think for myself has always been something I've looked alone from. And then look to share that with people in their lives and obviously look to associate to what they've been through and see how they can use these Circumstances. Ryan Reynolds here from Mint Mobile. I don't know if you knew this, but anyone can get the same Premium Wireless for $15 a month plan that I've been enjoying. It's not just for celebrities. So do like I did and have one of your assistant's assistants switch you to Mint Mobile today. I'm told it's super easy to do@mintmobile.com Switch upfront payment of $45 for 3 month plan equivalent to DOL dollars per month required intro rate first 3 months only, then full price plan options available, taxes and fees extra. See full terms@mintmobile.com so now instead of being a professional footballer who's forcing, forcing through whose life depends, existence depends, his identity depends on being a footballer. In addition to your coaching, you run marathons, ultra marathons and are training to swim the English Channel if you haven't done so already. Is that accurate? No, that's correct. At the time of this recording, I am four months away from swimming the English Channel. So that's in September of 2026. Correct. So who are you now as a peak performer? I love it. So Mike, my definition of what a peak performer is has radically changed to what I thought it was. What I thought it was was there's someone who I believed that I was at the time, who would play football in front of thousands of people and you know, people at times sing his name or boo his name or you know, would be someone who has this type of status in sport. And that's what I believed in to be. Now for me, a peak performer is how well, how closely I can live to my highest values, morals and standards of what matter to me. That's what peak performer performance is for me. Like what matters most to me in terms of how I choose to live my life with honesty, loyalty, support, love, that conviction, these types of things. How closely I can live in those particular areas and then as a result of that, that's my guidance for peak performance. And I want to test that. I want to test. I don't want to just, you know, create a beautiful environment where it's easy for me to show those emotions. I want to put myself in situations where I can test those emotions. And that's where I really find my growth these days. Not through involuntary pain, but through voluntary growth. And that's where, you know, prior to it, I had no interest in running. I found it boring. I found it just pounding the road. And you only run to get a ball. Exactly, exactly. And I felt I found the rest of it quite Boring. But then I read again. I've read a book. Someone recommended a book to me, sort of theme here. And I opened my mind to these things called ultramarathons, an ultra marathon. I thought people just ran marathons and even that was like, out of this world. No, ultramarathon is anything over a marathon. Lots of people run 50 miles, 80 miles, 100 plus miles. Yeah, this is a thing. And there's a place for voluntary growth there for me. And that took me on a path where I was like, right, these values of peak performance of what you adhere to, let's go and try in that environment. And like I say, over a period of four and a half years, I ran 18 marathons and 17 ultra marathons. Seventeen of those ultra marathons are things that I'd never run anything like that before, five of which are 100 miles plus, the longest being 114 miles, non stop running. And for me, people listening to this will go, why? Like, what's the point? But for me, it wasn't driven from pain anymore. It wasn't driven from trying to be something or try and be someone or prove to someone, or try and achieve this type of identity. For me, it was like, my life's good. You know, I've opened the closet to the demons. I've looked at those, I've dealt with those. I know who Matt Young substance is. Let me try this shell on is what we said earlier. And that worked for me for a period of time until I didn't find any further growth there. And now I've pivoted and I'm now thinking, you know what? I'm not a swimmer. The last time I swam was when I was 12, maybe. And now in the same way I approach the running is the same way I approach the football, in the same way I approach the business that I run, and the same way that I approach now the swimming. I'm like, there's a place of growth here for you. Let's go and learn more about yourself in this area. Now then it's just another way in which I look to exercise that part of me that loves to grow, loves to learn, loves to be more, do more, share more, become more. Because I know if I do that, I can give more. And that's really the key driving force for me now. Yeah, it's not peak on the outside, your peak. You're trying to peak within, to be your own peak, to keep growing and expanding to meet your own goals, your own vision, not for an external prize. That's that's absolutely it. And, you know, naturally in life, there are external markers. For example, a finish line at the end of a race or, you know, time. In my case, getting to Calais in France is on the beach in Calais. That's going to be the end of the swim. But for me, it's not about the outcome. It's about who I become along the way and who I end up becoming along the way. That's what really excites me. And the beautiful thing for that, for me, in my perspective of that, is that has no ceiling, you know, from the age of my 30s all the way up to when I'm in my 80s, 90s, hundreds. For me, that's a journey that I will never stop because it fuels me. There's always more that I can learn about myself and uncover and see. And that's. That's for me, so exciting. Keep me on, on this path as we wind down. I want to, given what you just said about who you are now and how you're learning and growing and pushing yourself, there is that video clip on your website for everyone, mattyounglc.com and where you score an attorney. And it's awesome, right? It's awesome. And there you are celebrating. And I mean, just. I can only imagine the feeling. I'm wondering, as you see yourself now looking at yourself, then what would you tell yourself that that person that you. In that moment, in that particular moment. It's interesting you bring it up. There's a reason that's on the website is because I didn't score many, to be honest with you. I didn't nudge too many. I think that particular time in my life was a time of where this transition of what I spoke about had already begun to occur a little. The event of where I spoke about five days already sort of occurred. And I think that guy, My encouragement for him would be to celebrate that goal again. Because it wasn't a bad goal, to be honest with you. It was a pretty. It was an Arsenal goal. It was an Arsenal goal to celebrate that goal. But my encouragement for him would be to always know, I suppose, touching on what we've said here, always know that this, you know, this goal, this people doing this and everything else and everything that with that, went with that, That could have been any one of those other 10 players on that pitch who scored that goal, and they would have celebrated the exact same way. And as much as that felt great for me personally, don't take the plaudits or the adulation personally, because then that becomes A process where I go, this is the only way I get to feel these types of highs through this very thing. I would say to him, you know what, Enjoy it, celebrate it, but have the awareness to say, you know what, that's wonderful, that's great. But I'm prouder of the fact of who I was who showed up to that match, not necessarily what he did in that match, because that for me would create just dissociation, if you like, of going, Matt Young the footballer is getting all of these plaudits versus Matt Young the human being who showed up, delivered and created this experience for all of these people here. But that could have been any one of these other 10 players on this pitch who could have done that. And that would, for me, would have. That's what I would encourage. Because for so many people, that's what they believe. They believe that when they show up at work and they get the plaudits at work for the things that they've done, it's not the human being it gets it, it's the worker who's got it. So what they want to then do is constantly work all the time, 24 7, because that's the person. And that ends up or can be a little bit of a slippery slope. So that would be my encouragement for that person goes right back to the beginning, which is, it is about who you are as a human, not who you are as a performer. Absolutely, absolutely. Human being always comes first. And then the vehicles, as I call them, that we drive in life, performances, the relationships, they, they top up our pint glass, they don't fill it. Matt, thanks for sharing your story with us today and it is inspirational and it's so important for all of us to hear it. And what you are doing with your life and the passion that fuels you, it's contagious. So thank you. No, I appreciate you having me on, dad. So thank you very much for allowing me to be here and having this conversation with you as well. I told everyone your website, mattyounglc.com anything else they should know? No. I mean, if anyone wishes to understand more of how we help like you say, you can find us there on social media platforms in very much the same manner. Matt Young, LC There, the letter L, the letter C. If people listening to this and this has resonated, we have free resources that I'd be happy to send your listeners as well. Different trainings and things like that that people are more than welcome to get in touch with. So feel free on various platforms. And yeah, I'll be happy to assist in whatever way I can wonder. Matt reached a point where he literally had no place to go, did not know where to go, did not know what to do or what he was going to become. His story inspires us to push through these most difficult and trying moments to get to the other side. Here are five key takeaways from this conversation. Number one, you are more than the role you play. When our identity becomes attached to a job title, achievement or performance, we risk losing ourselves when those things change. Number two, Pain can be a powerful catalyst for transformation. Rock bottom isn't where the story ends often, it's where a more authentic life begins. Number three, Peak performance starts from within. The healthiest high performers don't build self worth through achievement, they bring self worth into achievement. Number four, Growth doesn't require suffering forever. We can learn through awareness and intentional growth instead of waiting for life to force change upon us. And number five, the goal isn't becoming someone else. The goal is becoming more fully yourself and living closer to your deepest values each day. There you go everyone. We are interested in what you think about this episode so please feel free to leave us a comment rdan Peters on Instagram or reply to any of our social posts. Please share this wisdom with everyone and anyone that you think will benefit. Thank you for being a part of this amazing community and bringing your people to us. Your 5 star reviews subscribing they really do make a difference. As always, we have this moment, this day and this life. Let's Make It a Great One. This has been a Peters and Rossi production. Make it a great one with Dr. Dan is produced by Amber Miller. Our engineer here is Phil Rossi. Theme music is uplifting Folk by Awesome Music. Artwork by Kelly Dwyer. Follow us on social media at drdanpeters. For more information visit drdampeters.com. Sam.