Leading Today. Why Leader Communication Fails

Speaker A: Welcome back to Leading Today, where we talk about the intersections of leadership and emotional intelligence, behaviors that actually shape healthy, inclusive, and productive workplaces. So I have a question for you today. What do you think is the reason most communication fails in leadership? And it's not silence. It is the illusion that communication actually occurred. Maybe you ask, well, what does Dr. Lisa Bagby mean by that? Well, this is what I want to talk to you about today. Something that sounds simple on the surface, but in practice is misunderstood so much of the time, and that is communication. I know we often think we do a good job, but I'm talking about real communication. I've coached many leaders in this topic. I've trained people about what it is and how to execute on it. And the truth is, it's not really as easy as we typically think it is. But I digress. I'll come back to that later. The reality is, if we are honest, a lot of leaders believe they are communicating because they're talking or sending emails or even giving updates, holding town halls or meetings, or sharing information from the top down. And while all of those things may be forms of communication, they're not always effective communication, they're not always understood communication, and they are definitely not always communication that leads to action. That distinction matters because if I speak and you hear me, that's not the same thing as you understanding me. And if you read what I wrote, well, that is not the same thing as you internalizing it, making sense of it, and knowing what to do next. No, that is the space that I want us to sit in today, however, because so many leaders think they have communicated simply because they delivered words. But communication is not complete when the words leave your mouth or hit someone's inbox. Communication is complete when meaning has been transferred, when the other person has received it, processed it, understood it, and can respond in a way that reflects the message. Um, that is the real work. So let us name the difference. Very clearly. Talking is not the same as communicating. Speaking is not the same as connecting. Sending information is not the same as creating understanding. And a leader can be very active in communication, very busy with meetings and updates and messages, and still not be effectively communicating, especially if the people on the receiving end are confused, disconnected, uncertain, or unclear about what the message means or even what they're supposed to do with it. So that is why this topic matters so much in leadership. Because leaders do not just communicate to fill space. They communicate to move people. They communicate to create clarity, to build trust, to shape behavior. They communicate to support alignment and to make action possible. That is what effective communication should really do. Not just inform or speak or broadcast, but to move and create momentum in others. Now, I want to pause right there, because this is where a lot of leadership communication goes off track. A, uh, leader may think, well, I told them already, because I sent the email and I said it in the meeting, and then I even posted it in the chat. I even announced it in the town hall. But what matters is not just that it was said. What matters is whether it was understood. And that is a very different question. Because understanding requires more than exposure to words. Understanding requires context, clarity, relevance, and repetition. Sometimes. Did you know that on average, it takes a message or communication to be repeated at least three times to be received by the listener? This is just what studies say. I'm not just pulling numbers from the thin air. No, no. It requires that the listener really connects to the message that is being delivered and connects that to their role, their work, their priorities, and even what is their next step. This is why communication and leadership is not simply about speaking well, it is about making meaning. And when meaning or information is missing, people often fill in the blanks themselves. They guess, they assume, they interpret, and they make decisions based on incomplete information. And then leaders wonder why the team is not aligned, why execution is inconsistent, or even why people seem m uncertain after a message that seemed perfectly clear to the person delivering it. But see, this is where the leader has to examine the difference between intent and impact. Your intent may have been clear, but your impact may not have been. Your goal may have been to inspire action. But if the team heard pressure, confusion, or vagueness, then, um, the message did not land the way you thought it did. That is why effective communication, which is what we're really talking about here, it is not just about the speaker's intention. It is about the receiver's experience. And this is a leadership issue, not just a communication issue or failure. Because in organizations, communication shapes so much. It shapes culture, performance, trust, psychological safety. Communication shapes whether people move together or work in silos. When leaders communicate effectively, people don't just hear information. They understand direction. They understand purpose, expectation, and why something matters. And when people understand why something matters, they are far more likely to take action with commitment instead of compliance. And that is also an important distinction. Compliance means, oh, I will do it, because I was told. But commitment means I understand it, I believe in it, and I am willing to act on it with ownership. And this is what many leaders seek. And it's what they seek the most. They don't simply Want people to hear instructions. They want people to align with the vision, understand the priorities, and ideally align, uh, with their people's purpose and ultimately to carry the message into action with real meaning behind that. So let's talk a little bit more about what effective communication should do. There are really four aspects that I want to touch upon with you. First, communication should create clarity. If a message creates more confusion than clarity, it definitely needs work. And if people leave a conversation with 10, 10 different interpretations, well, it has definitely failed communication. Now, if your team says, well, I think she meant this, or I'm not sure what he wants, or maybe they say, well, I need a follow up before I can move, then the communication has not done its job just yet. Second, communication should build trust. When leaders communicate clearly, consistently, and honestly, people are more likely to trust them not because they agree with everything, but because they know where they stand. People can work with truth, People can work with clarity. But people struggle with ambiguity, mixed signals, and vague expectations. And this is often why change or resistance to change, I should say, happens. Third, effective communication should support alignment. Alignment means that people know the direction, they understand the priorities, and they can see how their work connects to the larger goal. Without alignment, teams may be busy, but they are not necessarily moving together. And in leadership, busyness is not the same thing as progress. Now, fourthly, communication should lead to action. That action may be immediate, or it may be something that gets processed and acted on later. And that's fine. But there should really be a clear next step. A response, a decision, a behavior, or a change in direction. If nothing changes, then we have to ask whether the communication was effective or whether it was only delivered. Now, I also want to talk about the role of listening, because communication is never just about one person talking and another person receiving passively. Effective communication is relational, it is interactive, and it requires feedback. So it also requires checking for understanding. And really, for a leader to pause just long enough to ask, what did you hear me say? What does this mean for your work? What concerns do you have? What do you need from me to move forward? That kind of communication invites engagement instead of compliance. It opens the space for clarity instead of confusion. But it also shows respect. Because when leaders listen, they are saying, your understanding matters, your perspective matters, and your ability to act matters. And the team can receive that. Now, that is a very different leadership posture than simply broadcasting information and hoping that it lands. Because hoping it lands is not a communication strategy. Checking for understanding is, and let me say this plainly, if your team cannot repeat the message in their own words. If they cannot explain why it matters, or if they cannot tell you what action comes next, then you may have spoken clearly to yourself, but you have not yet communicated effectively to them. And that's not a criticism, that's just a leadership mirror. But it is a chance to slow down, to refine and make the message more usable. Because people, they don't just need information. They need usable information that makes sense. They need information that helps them act and make decisions, and particularly that connects to their role and their reality. So where this is especially important and true is in times of change, stress, uncertainty, or transition. Because when people are already carrying pressure, unclear communication just adds more weight. Yeah, clear communication, on the other hand, it gives people something solid to hold on to. It reduces anxiety, it improves confidence, and it supports execution. And it really does help people feel that they are part of something they can understand, rather than just something that is happening around them. So as you think about your own leadership, I want to offer you a few questions for reflection. When you communicate with your team, are you simply providing information or are you actually creating understanding? Are you talking at people or are you communicating with people? Are you checking for comprehension or are you assuming it? Are you making your expectations clear, or are you leaving too much room for interpretation? And are you inviting feedback or are you only expecting a response? And the most important perhaps question of all, when your message is received, does it lead to action? Because that is the true test, not whether you sounded polished or whether the meeting was scheduled or that the email was sent. The test is whether people understood, aligned, uh, and moved. That is effective communication. That is successful leadership communication. And more importantly, that m is the difference between information and influence. So I want to give you two points to consider when messaging or communicating effectively. First, one of the most important emotional intelligence practices in communication is checking for understanding before you move on. And I cannot state that enough because a leader can speak clearly and still not be understood clearly. And that is where self awareness and social awareness become essential. As an effective leader of people, you cannot assume that a nod, a quiet room, or a quick yes means that the message landed. So a stronger leadership move is to pause and ask, what are you hearing in this message? Or what does this mean for your work? Because that helps you confirm meaning, not just delivery. And when you ask those questions, remember to pause for 10 seconds before moving on again. I assure you someone will raise a hand and ask for clarification or, or give you a statement of their understanding, but you must pause second. Effective communication also requires that you match your message to the emotional state of your team. Because emotional intelligence calls for empathy and self management, especially when people are under pressure or dealing with change or carrying uncertainty. We're living a lot of this right now. So if the team seems already stressed, then clarity, calm and purpose matter even more. Because people process information better when they feel grounded, when they feel respected and emotionally safe enough to think clearly and then take action. So I want to close with this because I believe it captures the heart of this important conversation. Leadership is not just about having something to say. Leadership is about saying it in a way that people can receive, process, understand and act on. And when leaders do that, well, communication becomes more than a task. It becomes a tool for clarity, for trust, accountability, and a tool for connection. And smart leaders, they recognize that and they use it as the tool that it is. But you know what else? It becomes one of the most important ways that we shape culture and performance inside any organization. Because at the heart of it all are people. Thank you for being with me today on leading today. I'm Dr. Lisa Bagby. Until next time, keep leading with courage and clarity. And keep asking, did they understand the message and what action will they take? Please like share and subscribe so you and a colleague don't miss a single episode. And if you have a topic that you'd like me to explore, please drop it in the comment section. I would love to hear it.