The Prudent Leader: How to Make Wise Decisions Under Pressure Before Your Career Pays the Price

Terry Baylor: The situation that you're going through may have nothing to do with your destiny, but your response to that situation has everything to do with your destiny. Ja'Quan Lavender: Character reveals the real you, so as water reflects the face, so your heart reveals the real man. If you have any character defects, check your heart because you may have a heart defect, which means there must must be something in your heart that you must not be aware of. Ralph Owens: Welcome to the Leadership Sovereignty Podcast, the show that helps professionals get promoted, help expand their influence, and lead with confidence.

I'm your host, Ralph Owens, chief information officer in the financial services industry, joined by my cohost, Terry Baylor, the CEO of a health care tech startup. Together, we've spent decades building teams, transforming organizations, and coaching leaders through the moments that defined their careers. This is Your Competitive Edge. Now let's dive into today's episode.

All right. Welcome back to the next episode of the Leadership Sovereignty Podcast. JaQuan, last week we walked through your origin story. It was incredible.

Today, we want to go a little bit deeper into your philosophy. You know, JaQuan, the word prudent is in everything that you do now. Where did that word come from, and what does that actually mean to you? Ja'Quan Lavender: So prudent comes from the bible, King Solomon, when he was talking to his son, and he talked about the prudent man.

So the word prudent means to be wise, conscious, to be able to be discreet, which is another word for discretion. So it's someone that considers the consequences and kind of the risk before he takes them. So he's very careful and thoughtful. Mhmm.

Mhmm. Ralph Owens: That's good. That's good. That's good.

A lot of people confuse being smart with being prudent. You know, what's what's the difference, and and why does that matter? Why should it matter for leaders? Ja'Quan Lavender: I would say when you say smart, the first word that comes to my mind is intelligent.

You're very intelligent, you're clever. When you are prudent, you're very conscious because the Bible says that a prudent man foresees evil or hides himself, but the simple pass So on and are if I was to foresee the evil, I took a consideration and say, oh, I don't wanna go that way. So I'm conscious and I consider those consequences what led me to not going down that road. Now since the young man was naive, he went down that road and then he faced the consequences.

So I think a prudent man is very more, Terry Baylor: of Ja'Quan Lavender: course he's wise, but he's more thoughtful. Ralph Owens: He Ja'Quan Lavender: thinks, he's using his his his mind. He's not just doing, he's actually thinking. Ralph Owens: Mhmm.

I love that. I love that. I love that. It makes me think about the stewardship of your mind, right, instead of just going off of everything that you feel, you know, taking the time to actually think through your decisions before you actually act.

Is that is that about right? Ja'Quan Lavender: Yes, sir. Always take and again, I teach these young guys a sober mind. So if I have a sober mind, that means I'm clear headed.

So once I'm clear headed, I'm able to think. That's why I always say a prudent man should always have a sober mind. Ralph Owens: That's good. That's good.

That's good. Good. Any thoughts there, Terry? Terry Baylor: I always go back to this.

Say guard your heart with all diligence, because out of it, right? So as I really started to dig into that, really what it's talking about is guard your mind with all diligence, because what you expose yourself to, if you scrolling and all the stuff that's coming up on your scroll is stuff that's distracting, it's because that's what you've been lending your attention to that, right? So folks have tried to show me stuff on Instagram, and they were like, Man, I don't know why this is coming up on my feed.

I'm thinking, I know why it's coming up on your feed. Ralph Owens: Right, right, Ja'Quan Lavender: right, right. Terry Baylor: Because they haven't been guarding, right? So when I really dug into that, it really talks about building like a hedge, like a moat, right?

So it's gonna take some real work in order to get in, right? So yeah man, we guard what we allow ourselves to think on, guard what we allow ourselves to see, you know, the conversations, all the things that JaQuan's talking about. So I love it. I love it.

I Ralph Owens: love it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It makes me think about the fact that we've seen brilliant people make terrible decisions. We see it all the time in athletics.

People who have incredible talent you know, make some of the craziest decisions, especially under pressure. You know, what does prudent decision making look like in high stakes moments, right, when the pressure is really, really on? You know, talk about that a little bit. Ja'Quan Lavender: I always say that pressure reveals a man's true character.

So the first thing a pretty man should do is have emotional self control, emotional intelligence. Do I let this time take me out of my character? Do I let this time take me out of my emotions because of the heat of the pressure? We learned that once we go through the fire, the refining process, we're come out like gold, right?

So we just go through the pressure, we go through it, and we smile through it, you know? More hurt, but we learn how to accept it and keep moving forward. Ralph Owens: It reminds me of the point of your story where you talked about how the coach, you know, was ragging on you, and you just had to smile and keep it under control, right, so that you can continue to move forward. Because we've learned that in those moments, it either gives you your greatest advances forward or your greatest regressions back.

Cause you could have took a whole different attitude. You could have flipped the table, throw the chairs around. I ain't taking this, you know, all this other kind of stuff. But what how would that have been impacted your story?

Ja'Quan Lavender: Probably when he even went to Tiffin, because they may have called him for a report on me saying, how is he as a young man? That's the first thing he would have thought of. He flipping tables, you know, he's not who he say he is. I'm not for sure he told y'all, but I see the real him, you know, so.

Ralph Owens: Wow. That's Yeah. Terry Baylor: Had a conversation with my wife about a situation, and and she, you know, brought something up. And I thought, man, this is what a what a great what a great thing to share.

And she said, you know, the situation that you're going through may have nothing to do with your destiny, but your response to that situation has everything to do with your destiny. That's good. Ralph Owens: Wow. That's good.

That's really good. Terry Baylor: I said, I told her, I said, baby, you gotta segment Shamikaisms. I said, that is I said, Hollywood. I said, let me said, let me chew on that.

Hold on wait. So you're saying the thing that I'm experiencing right now, somebody's causing me some heartache. Right? I got a client that may not be paying on time, whatever.

But how I decide to deal with that situation Ja'Quan Lavender: Mhmm. Terry Baylor: Has everything to do with my destiny because it's about your decision making. Mhmm. Ja'Quan Lavender: Right?

Terry Baylor: Tie it right back into what you were saying, JaQuan, is, and Ralph and I say this all the time, you know, pressure will bust a pipe. Ja'Quan Lavender: Yes. Mhmm. Terry Baylor: So so so how are you in those moments?

Right? How what character? Who who want and this I gotta tie back to the original, you know, that that original I guess that origin story about being in in the semifinals in state. Right?

That revealed a portion of who you are at a young age. Right? I mean, you're what, 17, 18 years old to make the decision to finish. Ja'Quan Lavender: No one never taught me these qualities.

It was just more just learning as I'm going. So when I got to that point, it was in me, but I didn't know the word perseverance. I didn't know the word, you know, integrity and character. I may have heard of it, but I didn't know the true definition.

But I just I knew grit because coming from Steubenville, you knew that you gotta fight. You gotta fight for position. So we knew how to get up and fight and keep moving. So that was that's why I'm saying that that dog, when you from Stoneville, they gonna pick that in you at an early age.

Like, you're gonna you're gonna be a strong athlete for sure. Yeah. That's awesome. Ralph Owens: That's awesome.

No, that's great. Ja'Quan Lavender: That is great. Ralph Owens: Yeah. Your academy teaches young men prudent leadership before any formal leadership role.

I think that's important, right, to talk about. Why does character come before the position? Ja'Quan Lavender: Cause character reveals the real you. So if anything that you say or do that comes from your heart, you know, I always talk about Solomon because it's based off of Proverbs.

He said, as water reflects the face, so your the heart reveals the real man. So that's that's your character. Yeah. So if if your character isn't honorable, if your heart is full of mischief, greed, and you know, you wanna be a dictator, that's gonna be your actions.

Yeah. Jesus said out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks. Everything we do is a heart. I said it at the gala, I said that if you have any character defects, check your heart because you may have a heart defect, which means there must be something in your heart that you must not be aware of.

It's a blind spot that you need to fix. Ralph Owens: That's good. That's good. And that's good for the art I'm sorry.

Go ahead, Terry Baylor: take it. How do you take these lofty, like, I mean, know adults who are struggling with these concepts. How do you ball that down, right, for a junior high and high school Ja'Quan Lavender: person, right? How you make it applicable to where they are?

How do you do that? Dude, but I don't. I still hit them with the level that an adult should be at because when I start to tone it down some, I'm taking it out of proportion. I need them to be at that standard of the prudent man because there's only one standard of prudent and that's excellence.

So like everything we do gotta be excellent. So I'm a tone it down a little bit to meet them at their level, but as we go on, I'm a definitely hammer like, Hey man, we've been talking about this for six weeks, and you all know the standard right now, it ain't me, it's you. You just not listening. Terry Baylor: Got to Hey, hey, hey, don't step on the Ralph Owens: line Ja'Quan Lavender: Don't step Terry Baylor: unless you're on that line unless you're ready.

Ralph Owens: That's good. That's so good. That is so good. Terry Baylor: I love it.

Ralph Owens: That's so good. Terry Baylor: That's so good. Paul. I'm taking that one, bro.

Ralph Owens: Don't you worry about it. That's good news. Don't step on Terry Baylor: this line unless you're ready to run the race. Ralph Owens: She's ready Ja'Quan Lavender: to run the race.

Ralph Owens: Awesome. That's so That's so good. Hey, I wanna take a moment and ask you directly. If this podcast has helped you lead better, think clearer, or navigate a challenge at work, would you take sixty seconds and leave us a review on Apple Podcast?

Your review is how more leaders find this show. It only cost you one minute, but it means everything to us and this mission. The link is in the show notes. Thank you in advance, and now let's get back to it.

So what, JaQuan, talk to us, about a moment where you had to lead, prudently under pressure when, you know, the decision, you know, may have cost you something personally or professionally? Ja'Quan Lavender: When I first started, 2023, when I first got the partnership with Alaquipa High School, I wasn't used to teaching. I just came out of a sales director position. I was in corporate America for a little bit, And I go from sales director to a mentor now.

I was like, I was battling my mind, like, am I really reaching these kids? Am I really speaking the truth? Yeah. I know prudent, but I still need to know more about the prudent man myself.

So it was it was a battle, an internal battle. Sometimes I would be like, I have people teaching with me. I'm like, no, y'all go ahead and teach the session. Because in the inside Mhmm.

I wasn't comfortable. Wasn't confident. Outside, may have walked confident, but in the inside, was like, I know a little bit, but I don't know too much to change this kid's life. Mhmm.

Mhmm. But Mhmm. Yeah. No.

Ahead. I'm sorry. Ralph Owens: Yeah. No.

Dig dig a little bit more into what the whole program is about, how it works, how long it is, you know, who who's actually attending. Ja'Quan Lavender: So the Prudent Leadership Academy, so it's a program that runs from eight weeks to a year. Now it depends on what the school would like, what they see the kids need. I always suggest sixteen weeks or more because we really get to work with them.

We get to take time and dig deep. So we go into schools throughout the day. We got sixth graders all the way up to twelfth grade, and we teach them different lessons. A prudent man is astute, prudent man is confident, a prudent man, you know, it's different topics every day about a prudent man.

And we just really hammering on with that, you know, those topics and with the standard of the prudent man. Ralph Owens: Mhmm. Ja'Quan Lavender: And, you know, as time go on, we'll reward them, take them out, go out to eat, take them places. But at the recent gala, we always graduate the young man, the seniors.

Anyone other that never graduates. But this year was different. We didn't have no seniors in the group. So I awarded the young man that spoke at the event with blazers.

So they get the prudent man pass for the blazer. And that's just like, you know, the step of becoming a prudent man. Ralph Owens: Mhmm. Oh man, that's Terry Baylor: fantastic, I love it.

Ralph Owens: That's fantastic. That absolutely changing lives. That's amazing, man. That is amazing.

So prudent leadership, what's the one thing working professionals can do starting Monday morning to begin leading with more wisdom and less reaction? Ja'Quan Lavender: I would say self reflection. I would say, because I always teach them self reflection is key to be able to have self growth. If you're not reflecting daily, then how can you know if you if you have any blind spots or if you need to grow?

Mhmm. So I'm a put myself in my shoes in order to answer your question. So every day when I come home, I reflect that I really leave it on that floor to teach these kids how to become a prudent man. Terry Baylor: Mhmm.

Ja'Quan Lavender: If I say no, shame on me because I know the steps of becoming a prudent man. Ralph Owens: Mhmm. Ja'Quan Lavender: So I reflect. Now people may say you being a little too hard.

It's not because if I'm in charge of changing 400 plus young man lives, I think I gotta be a little tad bit hard on myself because I need to help them to grow. So I'm reflecting because I need to check one, my heart. Is this something in me that I need to get out? Am I doing something wrong?

I'm saying something wrong to these kids, then I can go back that Monday and be a better leader. Ralph Owens: That's good. Terry Baylor: No, I love that. I love that.

So along that same line, JaQuan, there are two questions I ask myself every day. And it's about the self reflection, right? Because one of the persons I like to listen to is Miles Monroe, and he says the highest level of government is self government. It is the highest level.

And so three questions I ask myself. Number one is, is success the journey or the destination? Ralph Owens: That's good. Terry Baylor: And so I've come up with the fact that it's the journey, right?

Because once you get one medal or one client or whatever, you want another. The second question I ask myself is, what's the most important relationship I have today? Well, I've come up with, for me, the most important relationship I have is the one with myself, because I talk to that dude more than anybody. I spend more time with that dude more than anybody.

I'm fighting him every day. And also, I'm loving him every day. And I think that's probably the biggest challenge that I've really had is, you know what? Because as high performers, right, like yourself, we tend to be we can be critical on ourselves because we are used to performing, especially athletes, right?

We're always measuring. We're always doing the drill, we're always going through some mechanism to get, you know, we get this 1% better, one percent better. And so that grind sometimes can cause us to be a little critical. And then the last question I The last question I ask myself is, have I aligned my passion with my talents?

Because there are a lot of things that I do well, but I wanna make sure, have I aligned my passion with my talent? And so again, that goes back to what you were saying about that self evaluation. I wanna look back. I wanna be able to measure, hey, am I using all the gifts and talents that God has given me to ultimately do what?

Impact the world. So I love what you're saying, man. I love that. Ja'Quan Lavender: Well, you know who taught me about character?

Who's that? Miles Terry Baylor: Oh, man, I love Miles Ralph Owens: Morogh. Ja'Quan Lavender: I listen to I got five books by him. I listen to Miles Morro every time.

Terry Baylor: Wow. Yes. Yes. He is a winner.

He is a winner, so we already rewrite there. Rewrite there. Ralph Owens: For all of our listeners, take some time to think about prudent leadership, and how we can apply that in our day to day lives as we deal with other individuals. This was fantastic, JaQuan.

Thank you so much. That's a wrap on this episode of the Leadership Sovereignty Podcast. If today's conversation added value, I want you to do three things right now. Number one, subscribe so you never miss an episode.

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