They Tried to Block My Promotion. Here's How I Got It Anyway.

Speaker A: So there was a point in my career where I was doing everything right. I had the degrees, the certifications, I made sure that I was building the relationships. I was making sure people knew me. I was taking the courses and the classes, raising my hand to volunteer for everything. And when it was time for me to put my name in a hat for a role that I had just found out about and was perfect for me, secretly, I had someone trying to block me from moving on up. In this episode, I want to talk about what got me through it, how I was able to navigate such a really contentious and hard time in my career. And if you are navigating this right now, some things that you can also do that will help you get through somebody who is out to get you. Welcome back to Leadership beyond the Title podcast. My name is Tichina and this summer I am doing a series on leading from every season of life. This is just for the summer, so June through August. And last week I talked about code switching, about the mask that we wear, about how sometimes we show up to work and we have to be somebody else in order to get somewhere else, and what the impact of doing that is to our bodies, to our mental, and to our emotional side of ourselves. And to ask you the question, is it really worth it? So if you haven't heard or listened to that episode, go back to last week. It's a really good one. It makes you think about some things that you may be doing in your career. This week I want to focus on not everyone is rooting for you. Even when you're doing every single thing right, when you're checking off all the boxes like most women do, and when you are getting all of the certifications and the degrees and the education and making sure that you build the relationships that you need to build, not everyone is going to be happy for you and not everyone is going to want you to move to the next level. Sometimes it's out of selfishness. They don't want to promote somebody else, they don't want to have to do a search. And sometimes it's just out of ego. They don't think that you should be the one that should do it. And so that's what I want to talk about today because it's a very real experience that I dealt with in my career. And I hope what I offer you today can help you if you are going through this too. So let's start with my story. So back in 2016, 2017, I was thinking about doing something new. I had been an administrative Assistant in my career for at that moment, maybe seven to 10 years consecutively, moving from one industry into a new one. But I was still an administrative assistant. I had so much experience already. I deliberately went into the administrative assistant role because it gave me my work life balance that I was looking for at the time. I was having children and so it was a good role to go into. In 2014, I had got, uh, laid off and then I went into this new industry as an administrative assistant as well. So it just all made sense to go from one, one industry to the next in the same role. And over time I started saying to myself like, I, I need more, I want more, I, uh, want more responsibility. I want to make more impact than just from that seat. Now don't get me wrong, an administrative assistant has so much impact across the organization. And I think people be, you know, quietly like looking over an administrative assistant. But let me tell you, those are the people with the ears closest to the ground. They know what's going on, people are talking to them. So don't overlook an administrative assistant. However, some of the decision making authorities, uh, some of the responsibility that you get to have, some of the visibility that you're able to do, speaking on stages and training and developing people, some of those things are just not available to an administrative assistant. And one of the things for me is I had experienced that world of managing a team and doing things like that. But because I was in retail first, managing a team meant that I had to be available at many different hours. My schedule wasn't consistent to a 9 to 5, Monday through Friday. And so the administrative role gave me that. And so at that point when I was just making these tough decisions and I was like, I want to pivot in my career and I want to do something different. I was looking to go into learning and development. And so I was like, okay, I'll do learning and development because I love the development, I love working with people, I love training people. And I interview for a role. It was another administrative role. But in my mind, strategically, if I get into that, that part of the organization, that could be the opportunity for, for me to learn and grow and develop and then move up in the ranks. Uh, I interviewed for the role, I got the role. And after some time thinking about it like it was in that period of accepting the role and then moving on into the team, and I would say within 2040, 24 to 48 hours. And as I was thinking about that time, something in me was telling me, do not take this position. So I'm thinking about it. I'm like, just really, like, confused. And I'm like, happy for myself that I actually got the role. But then at the same time, I'm sitting there and I'm like, oh, my God. I don't know if this is the right decision, because at the time, I love my manager, I love my team, I love where I was at. And I knew I wasn't going to get the, the things that I was out to get in that role. So I went to my manager, my current manager, and I was like, what do you think about this? This is what, um, I'm thinking. And she was like, you know, honestly, like, I don't know if that's for you either. I'm happy for you. And if you want to take it, that's cool. However, you know, you've already told them you accept the role. It could be a career derailleur. It could really pigeonhole you into someone who doesn't know what they want, who's kind of wishy washy. It could be detrimental to your career. However, I do agree with you that maybe this isn't the right role. And so when she gave me that, I was like, yeah, I totally agree. And I really don't care because actually I'm more concerned about my happiness, my stability. Um, is that the thing that I'm really going to want to do? And so I called the hiring manager. I was like, unfortunately, I rescind my acceptance and I do not want to take that role. So now I'm going back to square one. I'm thinking, okay, now how do I do this? What do I do? Well, there was a coach, um, and she was helping the team that I was on, and she was coming to facilitate a session. And after the session I had a conversation with her and I was like, oh, my God, I love what you do. What was your career journey? What did you do? And it's just the importance of asking questions and being curious and understanding people's journeys. That's one of the key things that I always tell people to do. And so that's exactly what I did at that time. And when I talked to her, she was like, you know what? Talking to you, you would be a great coach. At the time, I didn't know what a coach was. I hadn't heard of that term. I'm thinking basketball coach, you know, football coach. Like, what are you talking about? I was thinking about sports and she was like, no, like, it's a person who helps develop people too. But you don't have to necessarily be the expert, because we consider everybody to be the expert of their own life, their own career. They know what to do, but they need somebody to pull it out of them. They need somebody to help them and to help them navigate through it. And so I was like, okay, so what did I do? I went ahead and she gave me all the information for the course that she went through, and I was looking at it, and I, you know, went and researched online, things like that, y'. All. I sat on that decision for at least a good month or two, and I was like, I don't know if I want to really do this. Like, it sounds interesting. It sounds intriguing. However, I don't know if that's what I really want to do. Well, fast forward two months later, I was like, let me sign up at least for the entry level, uh, course. So they had courses where it was like an entry level, and then there was, like, different layers up, right? So I went ahead and I signed up, and I went to the first course, and I fell in love. Like, I was so, like, it beated all the expectations that I had. So I'm like, but I'm about to do the entire program, right? So there was a program. It was like the foundational course, and then subsequent, uh, four or five courses. And then if I wanted to enroll into certification, I can do that, to really be certified as a coach. So I did that. I met so many lovely people, some coaches that are still my, um, you know, people. People that I talk to to this day. And I did it all right. Finally, I went through the coaching certification. I got my certification. Now, during getting my certification, we're talking about a, uh, $10,000 ticket item. I was an administrative assistant. I wasn't bringing $10,000 in a month, let alone I have four kids at home. I need to make sure that all of my needs and things are met as well. So I couldn't just really just do that. So at the time, my current manager, she was actually moving out of her role into a new role. So there was a period of time where I actually was reporting into the skip level manager. And I went to him and I explained to him what I wanted to do, and he was like, I think that's a great idea. Um, and then just, like, backtrack a little bit. I was able to get two of those courses, the foundational courses. I was able to get two of them paid for by my organization. But even at the time, I was getting pushback that they didn't want to pay for it because it had nothing to do with my job. Go figure. Like, working with people, doing things with different people, somehow. It had nothing to do with my job, and it was irrelevant. I should be taking courses like project management and things like that. And I was like, no way. And so my husband, who was my boyfriend at the time, literally supported me through all of those courses. He was helping me pay for them alongside with my, you know, doing all the things that I had to do. So he really, really helped me get through that time. I. I'm forever grateful for him because he didn't have to. He was just a boyfriend. He did not have to help me, but he did. And so that's how I was able to get through some of the courses. And then I end up going through certification. I talked to the skip level manager. He was on board. He was like, great. You should do that. And I did the thing, got my coaching certification. Now, at the time that I got my coaching certification, I got my certificate, and I hung it up in my cubicle, and there was a woman who had an office right next to my cubicle, and she came by, and we would always talk every day, and she saw something new hanging up in my cube. And she was like, hey, what's that? And I was like, oh, I just became a coach. I'm certified. And she was like, what are you going to do with it? I said, I don't know, but I'm thinking, you know, maybe to start developing a business. Now, y', all, this was back in 2016, 2017. I'm like, I'm going to develop a business. I'm going to try to start coaching people one on one. I really want to put this into action, you know, because sometimes you go to school, you do all these things, and you don't put it into action. And people are like, I went and got that degree for no reason, and that degree didn't really do anything for me. And you're just like, there's just completely just a lot of things that people feel so much regret in. Now, mind you, I have a psychology industrial organizational degree. Um, I got my coaching certification. After that, I got my organizational development degree as well. So I know all about the degrees. But before that, like, I really tried to be smart about the route that I was taking it very strategically. It's something that I have been, um, recognized for. It's like, I see the path, and I see what's coming, and I see what's hot and what's. What's trending. And so I'm able to make those decisions very quickly, which has been such a blessing in my life. I'm grateful for that foresight. But this woman, she came into my office and she was like. Or into my cube, and she was like, you know, the organization just started a new coaching team. They're going to be coaching the team through transformation. And I was like, what? Tell me more. So she told me more. She connected me with the hiring manager. At the time, it was just a temporary team. It wasn't even a team meant to be forever. And she connected me with them and the ball started rolling. I started talking to folks. I was setting myself up, uh, for interviews. I was talking to the Skip Lever manager, mind you, I still did not have a direct line manager because they were interviewing for that role to fill that seat. Now there was a woman who was going for the role to be the direct manager, and she ended up getting the role. Well, she got the role after I had done all my interviewing for the coach role and had been offered the position and I had accepted. So I had already accepted the role and she was coming in. Now, I've known this lady in passing. She had a couple of offices down from my cube. She was someone who, you know, every once in a while she may ask a question, but I didn't support her administratively. And she came in and I was telling her, hey, I'm going to be leaving. I'm going to be taking this temporary role. And she was like, oh, great. You know, well, how did you get that? And there was a point where she had a one, um, on one with me and she was trying to discourage me from taking the role. And she's like, you know, there's a lot of responsibility with that. You're going to have to meet with, you know, the CEO, the CFOs, all these chief positions, and you're going to have to do a lot more strategy and strategic things. And she's like talking to me and she's like, and how are you going to do that with kids? Like, there's more work you're going to have to do. Everything she said was more of, I don't know how you're going to do that versus, here's the ways that you can manage, here's the ways that you can create time in your day and be able to do some of these things, to take this role, everything, right? And at the time, I, um, probably was a little naive and I didn't really understand what she was talking about and didn't understand that she was actually trying to block me from taking the position. And so the position was given to me, but there was going to be a wait because it was like around holiday season. So there was going to be a wait for me to take it. And then in the new year, I was going to assume that role. Well, during that time, this lady was going to hr. She was saying, how can she, as an administrative assistant be able to take this temporary position? Mind you, I found out later on that I was one of two people that actually had a coaching certification at that time. So it wasn't like I was walking into this without the criteria or the skills or the ability or the proof, uh, or explain experience to be able to take the role. However, for her, she saw administrative assistance, she saw this level, and then I'm going into a level that's three levels above me. And she did not like it. I didn't know she was trying to block me, but I found out from somebody who I was supporting on the team. So the way it worked was like I had a direct line manager and that direct line manager had about five or six managers, and I helped support them on their calendar and meetings and things like that for the broader team. And so there was one manager who was like, hey, let me tell you what's going on. I am forever grateful for this lady. She was like, this is what's going on. She's trying to go to hr. She's been in conversations. The skip level manager is on board. He's like, yeah, like, that's not cool. You should be able to do it. But you know she's going to be your manager. So he doesn't want to overstep her. But I'm like, I've never even worked for her. She's never been my boss, she's never been my manager. She doesn't know how I work. Why is she so against it? And so at the time I was like, I may not be able to take this temporary position. So I started actually interviewing for other roles outside of the company. And finally, with the advocacy that this manager was able to provide this other leader who was basically telling me what was going on behind the scenes, I was able to finally take the position. When I took the position, of course, like I said, all the team was temporary. It was like a temporary gig for everybody to help and to walk through transformation for the organization. And I didn't expect anything. However, after a while, they started making the positions permanent. And so I went and told the manager of that Coaching function. Hey, look, if I'm not going to stay, please let me know, because I refuse to go back to that toxic manager who is literally trying to stop me from actually taking this role permanently. And she was like, okay. And so she was talking. She was in talks. The good thing is that this person was also an ex HR manager, and so she understood the rules and things like that. There were no rules just. Just to say there were no rules for me to take that position. It's like if I was an external person and I came and I said, here's all my. My criteria, uh, or not criteria, but here's my experience, here's everything that I'm able to do, here's my certifications, all of that. It will be the same thing. So she ended up, like, talking. And I remember her saying to me, I am sick of these people thinking that an administrative assistant doesn't have skills. And for that, I was so forever grateful that somebody actually saw me. They understood what was going on. They knew what was, you know, at stake here. And the God's the honest truth, Most administrative assistants have at least a bachelor's or master's degree. We are not just sitting there being your secretary and being the person that takes the m meeting minutes or ordering the lunch for the office, or just sitting around and calendaring or answering emails. Nah, y'. All. We are very strategic as well. And we have to be because there's so many players and so learning and navigating the political game. We know how to do, how to influence without authority. We know how to do. Again, I say people, y' all be skipping over the administrative assistant and tapping more into that demographic sometimes could be the thing that takes your. Your career to the next level. That's how I kind of got into my coaching career. And that's where things started. It started with me being very clear about what I wanted. Saying no to the things that felt like trusting my gut. I think oftentimes women don't trust their gut because they've been told for so long that their gut is not accurate. But trusting my gut and just really take it. Talking to people and taking the next level and really getting people in relationship who had my back. Well, I'm in the role now. I ended up becoming permanent, and the pandemic happened. And then there was a point where I started to say, hey, look, I'm in this role. I was given it permanently. However, y' all didn't give me the money or the. The. The title or the level like everybody else. And So I need to talk about it, because if I'm doing the same work, if I have more credentials than anybody else, I need to be compensated, and, uh, I need to be at the same level as everyone else. Now here we are. The same manager who actually brought me into the coach role, she was pushing back, and maybe there were other circumstances. So I don't want to talk bad about her, because actually, I am so grateful for her. However, there were things that started to say, well, if you want to move to the next level, you got to prove that you're supposed to be at that level. Just because you were a coach and you got more certification, all this stuff, you got approved. And so, uh, I'm telling now my actual manager in the coaching. So there was the head of this coaching group, and then there were managers, and so there was me. And so I reported to one of the managers who reported into the broader, um, coach director. The coach director is who brought me in. Because again, at first it was temporary. When it became permanent and there were actual managers, I reported into somebody else. And so when I reported into that person, she was like, uh, like, you're gonna have to, like, write a letter. You're gonna have to write, like, why you feel like you're. You're. You're qualified for this. And I was like, does. Did anybody else have to. I'm pissed. Like, did anybody else have to? I'm, um, pushing back. I'm like, I'm not doing it. Like, I am not doing it. I don't think it's fair. It's not equitable. You guys are making me do more than other people. I have this certificate, this co certification. And then at the time, I also was in the a leadership program where I was learning more skills and more things that I actually was bringing into the coach team for them to use, for them to experiment with their teams. And so I'm giving my knowledge away as well. And I was like, I'm not doing it. And finally, the manager that I reported into, guess what she did? She went ahead and she wrote the letter for me. She wrote it. I ended up getting a promotion. Then I ended up getting another promotion. So I got into that role in 2019. So 2017, I became a coach permanently. Like, I certified 2019, 2018, I applied for the role temporarily. I got the role. I started in 2019, 2020, the pandemic happened. And I would say in 2021, I got the promotion. One month, maybe three months later, I got another promotion. It was a promotion going into the role and to be permanent. So there was a little bump, but everybody else was like three levels higher. So I ended up getting bumped up into the same criteria, the same um, level as everybody else finally, right? So it took me having the relationships, the people who had my back, the skip level manager, the peer, the manager, direct line manager, who was like, I'll do it for you, who had to believe in me and I didn't have to do more to prove myself. But what did happen was it was, it was time consuming. It was a lot of energy and emotion and things that I was thinking through because I was like, oh, I don't know if this is going to happen and this is scary and I may have to leave this organization because they do not value me. That's what I was thinking at the time. But I ended up getting that role. I ended up getting a position and the story went from there. So you have here today me as a coach, a certified life coach, a certified leadership coach, a person who has done all the things. I ended up going to get my organizational development degree, master's after that to bring more theory and data and uh, help me understand how to do the surveys and bring people together and understand team dynamics and things like that. That really helped me. Getting the Enneagram certification, all of these things that complement each other was super important for me. But I didn't get there easy and I didn't get there alone. I think a lot of times we think that we can just do it and we can knock it out and we can put our heads down and we could just do good work and that's enough. And that is totally not enough. And over my career lifetime, I see how me building those relationships, getting involved, raising my hand has led me into where I'm at now. I have my own business now and I just became the new board chair of a, ah, of a charter school board. And it's not because I just put my head down and I had something uh, thoughtful to say, but it's actually because people saw my strategy, people saw what I can do and they believed in me and they said, you know what, I'm going to go to bat for you to have this position and this role. And so that's how I got here. That's how I was able to move into this new situation as a coach. But I don't tell you all of that, just to tell you all of that. There is some real strategy that was behind that. There were some things that I had to think through that I had to focus on in order to get me there. You know, there are so many studies that talk about how there's this broken wrong that black women can only get so far. And then it's like, ooh, like, okay, there's a rung missing and there's not a step. And understanding that there may be a broken rung and you can skip it. You can move your leg higher, you can have somebody pulling you up to get you over that broken rung to the rung that's, that's put together. You don't necessarily have to go in order, because I think that's what the, the rungs assume that you have to do step by step in order. And if you think about it like literal ladder, if you're literally climbing up a ladder, not everyone goes rung by rung. Sometimes you skip a rung to go faster. And so that's what happened to me in my career. They say that 93 women are promoted for every hundred men that are promoted. And yeah, that is true. And the broken wrong is there, But I think there are real strategies to help us pass that broken rung and see it as not even a problem. And so that is something that I want to talk about, but I also want to focus on how employees have to. You have to invest in getting a sponsor, somebody who is going to have your back. At the time, I didn't see these people as sponsors, but I had been working with them. I had been talking to a, uh, skip level manager. I had been talking to a leadership peer. I had been talking to managers who I was walking into the role with. And I was telling them what my career goals were, what I wanted to do across the duration of my career. And because I was having these conversations, they were able to speak for me. A, uh, sponsor speaks for you in rooms that you were not in. They're bringing your name up. They're saying all the things that you're doing. That leader could not have wrote a letter for me if she didn't know what I was doing and I wasn't talking to her. And so having sponsorship is so much important because you are two times likely to be promoted when you are sponsored by someone because they're putting their name and their reputation on the line for you, and hopefully they have a good reputation. Sometimes there are dynamics where they're actually really not liked in the organization, but they're high up. So you just have to watch out for those type of nuances and you have to make sure that you know who you know. Um, and one sponsor is not enough. Typically, overall, one sponsor is not enough. There's only 31% of entry level women who have a sponsor. 45% of men have a sponsor. So we're already not asking for what we need. I've been reading Emma Greed's book, um, start with Yourself. And she talks about how women have to be just as confident as men are when we walk into situations and when we think about the things that we want for our careers. If we are not asking, the answer is always no. So don't be afraid to ask, don't be afraid to say, this is what I want, because it's important. It's the make or break of your career. Before we move on, I wanna stop and I wanna let you know that this episode is sponsored by my one on one career Lab program. This program is bringing all of my tools and skills and the experiences that I've had with different leaders across many different organizations. We come together every week, we talk for 60 minutes and we talk about what's most pressing to you in your career right now. I help you walk through scenarios, we role play, we look at the mindset, we talk about what's going on for you. And sometimes we're helping you get promoted. Sometimes we're helping you with an exit. Sometimes we're helping you just to develop into the, uh, leader. Even if you don't have a title in the career Lab, you'll spend three months with me, one on one, weekly. You get those calls, but you also get access to me in between calls. I also offer you to bring me into your team sessions, into your workplace, to help you where I can observe what's going on so that I can give you more thoughtful approaches to how you can approach anything in your career. If you were thinking to yourself, I want to be promoted, but I have someone blocking me, or I am the type of person that doesn't really know what to say or how to get the sponsor or how to navigate the workplace when someone, somebody is out to get me. I want to invite you to set up a call with me. In this call, we'll talk about literally what's going on. I'll give you some things that I think that you should do and I will invite you to enroll in my one on one coaching program. All you have to do is click the link in the show notes or this barcode right here and we can talk about what's next for you in your career. I am looking forward to talking to you. So here's what I want you to know when you're thinking about your career and you're thinking about the next level that you want to go on, I want you to have the mindset that you've already earned it. So as I was going through all of these different things, I realized that I had so much experience. Not just on paper, but I had life experience. I have already done the work before, but my, my. The way that I went through my career, it looked like it was a step down. And let me tell you, all administrative positions are not created equal. When I was working in retail, I had a lot more responsibility. I was running background checks, I was hiring, I was doing training, I was doing all of that. When I went into biotech, it was a little bit more locked in, where literally it was a lot of calendaring and ordering lunch and making sure meetings were on the calendar and things like that. So it was a little bit less responsibility. So they're not all created equal. However, I had manager experience as well. And so it looked like maybe I didn't have the recent experience that people like. Of course, recency bias, now that we know that term and we know that people look at what's recently happening. However, what I knew and what I thought about every single time is like, I've earned this. I have done the things that I need to do. I have checked the boxes. And then maybe I haven't checked all the boxes, but I've checked enough. And I think everybody is always learning and developing and so we need to see what folks potential is and how they have gotten to the place that they've gotten so far. And so I actually like it. I said, look, I'm going to turn down this job that I just accepted because I know this is not a career derailleur for me, even though it has been for other people. It's not for me. I didn't believe that. And I know that I deserve the pay and the title because I got the coaching certification and the invoices to prove how much money I had to pay and how much I had to sacrifice during that time. And I've built the relationships and I know how this works and I understand the system. And so I walked in every single moment during that time acting like it and knowing that I was good enough. I didn't. Imposter. What? No, no imposter syndrome for me because I knew that I had done everything that I needed to do to get to get to that place. I also realized that advocacy for me was not just upper management. I was looking around who was around me? The woman who came into my cubicle and said, hey, I know of a new coaching team that's happening. That was advocacy because she connected me to who she knew and I was able to have conversations and I was able to take it from there. And again, the mere essence of her connecting me means she was putting her name, her reputation on the line to say, this is somebody that I vouch for and this is somebody who would actually do phenomenal in this role. I know her, I talk to her. Sometimes we think that people are just like, hey, I'll give your name. No. If people are not giving your name to someone, even if they have no attachment to it at all, it's because they don't feel comfortable putting their name on the line for you. There could be some selfishness. There could be like, I'm not going to, like, let you come and reign in my parade because maybe you might be better than me. However, majority of time, people just don't want to put their name on the line for you. But this person put their name on the line for me. And so that went a long way. That showed that she actually vouched for me. That's advocacy. I want you to start looking around you. How are people advocating for me? How are people even on social media? Like, that's my world now, social media, word of mouth, things like that. And so I have to say to myself, uh, are people liking my posts? Are people sharing my posts? Are people engaging with me? That is saying a lot. That's advocacy. So look for advocacy everywhere. That's important. And asking specifically, directly, consistently, don't take your foot off the gas. During the pandemic, when I was like, hey, look, I got this and this skills as anybody else on this team, maybe it looks different. I'm an introvert, so I'm not loud and proud and extroverted. And I'm just not going to say it, uh, like I want to say it. However, I'm introverted, and I still bring a thoughtfulness and a, a kind of calm and a, A confidence to my work. And so just give me the opportunity. Just give me the opportunity and you'll see, I'll do just as much as anyone else, but I don't have to be a, uh, personality that's extroverted in order to do it. I don't. And so I kept asking and I kept saying, this is what it is. And I kept saying, I'm not going to do more than anybody else. Guess what? Because I've already done more than anybody else. So there's nothing else for me to do. It's. I need you to see me, I need you to see what I do. I do. And I need you to trust that everything's gonna work out. At the end of the day, it's my reputation and I don't want a bad reputation. So I'm just saying, get me to the next level. And that's exactly what happened. So there are very specifically, very specific things that I just want to share with you. I, uh, talked about, you know, you earning in and, and who you need to ask and asking consistently and having advocacy. But I want to be very specific on what that looks like. So you first of all need to build your strategy. Now. The strategy for me was the advocacy from different angles. During the time that I was going into these new roles, I had a skip level manager who was like, I think she, I like Tichina and I like what she's doing and I understand that she has the capabilities and the skills and the experience and the credentials to do it. He vouched for me when I went through my leadership program. He actually paid the entire invoice and that was over $10,000 at that point because it was a year long program for retreats in person. They, you know, they gave you your room and board, your food, all of that. So it was a little bit more expensive. He paid for everything. And that was the advocacy that I had from One Direction. But I also had a leader who I supported, who also advocated for me. She had her ear to what was happening and she was like, check this out, Tichina. This is what's happening and this is what I am going to do to make sure that you get that role. And what she was doing was she was making sure that she talked to HR on the side and she was talking to the skip level manager, said, this is what this lady is doing and we're not going to let this happen to my girl Tichina and move me forward. I had advocacy from the position of I know what it's like to be an administrative assistant and I'm tired of the way people use administrative assistance. Somebody who actually have experience what you've experienced, somebody who knows what it's like, who's been in that role, who's had to fight to get to a new position, that's also somebody and that could be a mentor. Right? Because typically our mentors are the people that have been in your role in your position and they know exactly the path to take you could call me your mentor because I know what it means to go into an entry level role and then move up the ranks. And then I had a manager who was like, I'mma do the work for you because you've done enough. You are absolutely right. But it took me being very specific articulating why I deserved it. And they were able to write the letter on my behalf. And literally, you know, actually it wasn't more work because it was just like writing a review. And our managers are always writing our reviews. And so she was like writing a review to, to share. This is who Tichina is and this is why she deserves this promotion. And so building your strategy around your advocates and the advocates have to be from different angles. So maybe there's three. You need to at least have three. At least have three. And they have to be looking at you and your work and your career from different angles. Don't go and get all this all your peers. That's not enough. You need somebody higher. You need somebody who is a collaborator with you, but doesn't necessarily. You don't report to them. They're not necessarily seeing your day in and day out in your work, but they have some visibility in that sense. And your manager, although they are your manager, it's important to get them to advocate for you as well. Your manager at the end of the day should be an advocate. And I think all job descriptions for managers should say, you not only run the department, you also advocate for your people. That's something that is totally skipped over. It's not on the job description. And I think more managers need to be responsible and accountable to that. Okay. You also need to know your non negotiables. So I walked in and I was like, I am not negotiating me getting this role. I'm not negotiating. And if I don't get this position, I'm out of here. Because I knew my value, I knew who I was and I knew what I had done. And so for me, like title dollar amounts, things like that, making sure I understood where everybody else was at compared to me. And not in a comparison, in a way like, oh, I gotta be like them, but I need to at least be equal as they are. At the bare minimum, I don't have to say, have to have the exact same pay, which I didn't, because some people came with other experiences that were elevated as more, uh, uh, that was elevated as better or more valuable. And I'm gonna let you see my value, but let me get me to that level and I'm Gonna show you how this value is just as important. And so understanding what your non negotiables are is going to be super important for you. And then know your sale. I've been following Macy McNeely and, and looking at how she does. Uh, she's a sales girl. That's her program. And she talks about selling and selling all the time. Y' all learn how to sell yourselves. Even in a career, women don't like to sell. We think it's icky, we don't like it. But we also need to learn how to sell ourselves in our career. How to say, what is the benefit of putting me in this role? What does the impact look like? What changes or shifts for the organization, the team, for individuals? If you have me in this role as a leader, as a individual contributor, whatever it looks like, what happens, what shifts, what changes? And so that is something that I think most people kind of overlook because they think, oh, I just have, I can put my head down. They see all the work that I'm doing. No, you gotta sell it. You have to sometimes specifically tell people, this is what changes because of me. It reminds me of sometimes when I talk to my children and they're like, I need this, mom and all. You don't ever do this. And they're complaining, right? And I'm like, check this out. I want to remind you that you wouldn't be at that school if it wasn't for me. You wouldn't have the opportunities that you didn't have if it wasn't for me. If I didn't work as hard as I work, you wouldn't. I wouldn't be able to pay the tuition. If I didn't get up early in the morning and take you to your games, you wouldn't be there. And so you have to sell. You're always selling. Maybe you don't want to call it a sale, but there's something that you're always doing and always, um, having to speak on your own behalf to show people and to tell people what it is exactly that you do. So those are the three things that I really want you to focus on, which is building your strategy around this advocacy and having it from different angles. When you work with me, I talk more about that because I think people think it's just a one size fits all. And it's not. It's true. It's like you have to be just as good at picking your advocates as you do. If you were dating, if you were meeting somebody new, you really have to be kind of like a ninja with that. You also need to know your non negotiables. You need to know dollar amounts, you need to know market prices and costs. You need to understand where other people are at in relation to you. And that means you have to ask, um, a lot of questions. I talked about Emma Green's book and she talks about, she asks a lot of questions. She is curious. And sometimes we think that when we ask questions it makes us look weak, but actually we ain't gonna get what we wanna get if we don't ask the questions that we need to ask. And then sell, sell, sell. Learn a sales skill. Learn how to sell yourself. Learn how to talk about the impact, learn how to talk about the outcome. It's super important. I do that in my teamwork a lot where I'm like, what's the outcome? What's the impact? What's the outcome? What's the impact? And I'm always pushing teams, but individually, personally, in your career, you also need to do the same thing. Okay, so in closing, I want you to know that your skills, your credentials and your relationships are your leverage. So when people try to say like, oh, you need to do more. No, I've already got the leverage. I'm going to show you what relationships I have and I'm going to, I'm going to actually use those relationships to get to the next level that I need to. Don't be afraid to say who you know and who's connected to you. Those are your leverage, your credentials, the experience that you've gone through, that's also a leverage. And so being able to talk about that and to really explicitly tell people like, this is what it says on my resume, but this is actually what it looks like and this is actually how it impacts and creates a good outcome for this organization or for this team. Also, don't put all your eggs in one basket. You need to diversify your leverage. Diversify it. And so we think only my education is important. That's the only thing. But no, your education is important, your volunteering is important. Your, um, experience with other things is important. Your relationships are important. You have to diversify it. So looking like a portfolio of things, like there are different areas that you have to say, like, this is where I need to put more eggs in the basket. This is where I need to do more. Because, um, if you put your eggs in one basket and say somebody walked in and you were just like, oh, yeah, I've done all these things, people are like, well, who do you know who have you talked to? Who have you connected with? And you're like, nobody. And they're like, yeah, no, because nobody knows you. And we are in a, uh, time in our lives where people, the way they learn to trust you is that they've talked to you, they've connected with you in some type of way. And so just diversify. Not only know your leverage and know what you can lever, you could. What levers you can pull in order to get to where you want to go, but it has to be diversified. There has to be a lot of things, a lot of different things that can help you, um, to be more, like, broad, like, more holistic. Have your hands, have your tentacles out there so that you have different opportunities and people can see you from different angles, because the angles is really important. And I want you to know that the goal isn't for everybody to like you. People don't have to like you, but they do have to respect you. They have to respect what you bring to the table. They do have to respect the relationships that you have. They do have to say, you know what? I may not like her personality, but she's a game changer. She's going to be the one to help do the thing that we've been missing. She's going to fill the gaps. She's going to turn this thing around. And so I don't want you to go thinking, I need to people please, or I need to give somebody something in order for them to give me something. No, that's not the goal. But the goal is to be able to be strategic in how you move in your career. Okay. Uh, so thank you for listening to this episode. I hope this was helpful. Please share with another woman or man who may feel like this is important for them to hear. Again, if you are interested in learning more about me, you can go to any of my social media channels. You can find all those links in the show notes. I hope to see you next week and, uh, until next time. Talk to you soon. Bye.