58 Is it overwhelm or is it time to uplevel?

Welcome to Joyfully Unstoppable, the podcast for women who are ready to succeed without the stress. Whether you're leading a team, a classroom, a boardroom, or your own big, beautiful life, I am so glad you found us. I'm your host, Becky Hamm, executive coach, speaker, and founder of Women Lead Well. Join me each week for straight talk, practical tips, and a dash of encouragement.

Hello, friend. I hope that you are having a great day. Today, we are gonna talk about are you feeling overwhelmed, or are you just getting ready to step into your new level and it's a tiny bit scary? I have worked with many women who come to me overwhelmed.

There's too much on their plate, that work is not lighting them up, and it is clear that what needs to change in order for them to find their peace and their joy again And isn't it sneaky then that many times as we are getting ready to take a big leap forward, maybe we're jumping off the cliff, we're leaning into our growth. We are growing, we are taking the next step in our life and our business, and it feels overwhelming, and we start to question whether we're capable of operating at that level.

The feelings can look very similar, almost identical, but the experiences and the next right step is different. And so let's talk about it. I was having a fantastic conversation with a woman recently. A fellow entrepreneur here locally, about our experiences of running a business in our local area.

And I had made the, the comment that y- I, I grew up driving a stick shift, a manual transmission. And when you drive stick shift, in the beginning, you kind of figure out when you, when you should shift and how to shift, and over time you get the feel of it, that you feel the RPMs revving up. You kind of feel the car feels different as you're driving, and you know,"Oh, it's time for me to shift from second to third, or third to fourth, or, or fourth to fifth," if you're getting on the highway.

And you just drive by feel. But you can feel that it is time to shift gears. And, um, the woman remarked that, that that was a really useful analogy for her because as she has been growing her business and going through some changes in her personal life, that she has been feeling overwhelmed. But as I was talking about the shifting gears and leveling up, that, that she sees now that it's not overwhelm, that it is in fact she's moving into the next level of her life, both professionally and personally.

And she also grew up driving stick, and so she understood that, that metaphor of the feel of the car as you're getting ready to shift gears and move to the next. And so that's what we're gonna talk about today. I wanna distinguish for you- What it looks like to be overwhelmed, and so how it feels kind of in our bodies what it feels like, some of the symptoms that we experience when we're overwhelmed. What is at the root of overwhelm?

So what's really behind that feeling of overwhelm? And then what you do. Like, not... I don't, I don't wanna say cure, but, but what is your best next step if you are experiencing overwhelm?

And then contrast that to leveling up, to shifting gears into that next le- taking that step, jumping off that cliff, and what that feels like in the body, what some of the symptoms are, some of the signs that you are moving from one level to the next. Because we think it's gonna feel amazing, and it really doesn't for most of us most of the time. It's a pretty scary experience or frustrating or difficult, painful experience. What is at the root?

And so what's really going on when we move from one level to the next? And then same thing. Okay, so now this is where you are. What do you do?

What are your next steps? And so let's start with when you are overwhelmed. What does that feel like in many of our bodies? And I say many because every human being is different, and what I would encourage you is to get to know yourself well enough so that you can say,"This is what it feels like," as opposed to,"This is what it feels like when I'm getting ready to move to the next level or when I am getting ready to, jump off the cliff" or what have you.

Overwhelm typically in our bodies is a sign that our nervous system is flooded, that there are too many sensory inputs and our body, our nervous system is at capacity. It's at the max level of coping with current demands, and it can't take any more. Or maybe in extreme cases you've actually surpassed your maximum capacity, and the demands on your nervous system exceed your capacity. And so that feels like in the body that, like, everything feels heavy.

You feel kind of shut down. Everything feels urgent, but everything feels equally urgent. There's not a prioritization. It's everything is too much.

And to give an example, because I can feel this way from time to time, when I get to this place, it is I just cannot. I cannot take the trash out. I cannot pick the, my kids' clothes up. My beautiful daughters, I love them, but they will strip naked in the kitchen, and their clothes are just all over the place.

And then we, they, they usually pick it up and take it into the laundry room, but sometimes they forget. But so I just cannot bend down to pick up the sock to take it where it needs to go. I will... I just sit down and zone out.

My husband can ask me what I want for dinner, and I cannot give him an answer to the question. When I'm feeling overwhelmed, I just cannot. I might have a to-do list a mile long, and I might feel like there's everything that I need to be doing, and I cannot. And so that feeling of overwhelm is that everything feels urgent.

There's no differentiation or prioritization. It all feels too much, and typically, we tend to shut down in the case of overwhelm because it is too much for our body. And again, every body is different. That is kind of a freeze response, as we're talking about nervous system regulation, the fight, flight, fawn, and freeze.

I just described a freeze. That's pretty common in overwhelm, but you might react differently. You might react by kicking into over-functioning, and that might be symptomatic of a flight response or even a fight response Oftentimes some of the symptoms in addition to that just I cannot, that shutting down, like that feeling in your body of everything being heavy, everything being too much. Brain fog is pretty common with overwhelm.

That desire, like I just described, to withdrawal or freeze, being unable to prioritize, being unable to make simple choices. Like,"Hey Becky, I'm gonna order in tonight. Do you want Mexican or Thai?" Brain can't answer.

Like it's too much. So all of those are pretty common symptoms of overwhelm, and at the root, what's on the bottom, what's underneath all of that overwhelm is that you, your brain, your body, you have been facing too many like must-dos, requirements, and I'm gonna call these passive challenges. So these are things that you have to do that, um, require your attention and your energy, but aren't necessarily filling you up. So you've got a whole bunch of energy leaks.

We've talked about energy engines and energy leaks on the podcast in the past. You got a whole lot of energy leaks, a whole lot of things are draining your energy, but you don't have things that are, that are giving you energy, that are life-affirming, and so you are operating on empty. Also, do you remember the, the episode on the body budget? I'll try to remember to link it in the podcast notes, show notes below.

Um, but your body budget is running in the red, right? You've got more withdrawals than inputs. So when you are overwhelmed, what do you do? If you are like many women, um, y- you should do the opposite of what you want to do.

What you should do is to stop pushing. Take a minute, brain dump all of those things, all of those urgent things that are pushing on you, get'em out of your head into your phone, in your notes app, or just onto a piece of paper. Just brain dump it so your mind can get a little space. And then maybe take a nap.

Maybe just lay down. If you've got the energy, maybe go for a walk. Take a long, hot bath. But what your nervous system needs is that time to come back to center and to quiet itself without stimulus, without input, but to just renew itself a little bit.

So if you practice any kind of nervous system regulation techniques, like breathing exercises or other somatic practices or yoga, this would be a great thing to do when you're feeling overwhelmed to help that nervous system regulate and for your body to feel its calmness again, to feel safety in it again. So all of that is overwhelm. Overwhelm comes from it is too much, the nervous system has too many inputs, and it's just hit the wall. And look, we see this, you are a grown woman, and I'm not infantilizing you, but humans are humans.

Baby humans are humans. We are humans. And any of you who have dealt with little newborns, you will remember that they can get overstimulated pretty easily, and when they do, oftentimes they just absolute meltdown, sobbing, scream crying until they fall asleep, right? That is the kind of overwhelm, that is the unfiltered, un- um, socially conditioned response to overwhelm, is I'm gonna purge it all.

I can receive no more inputs. I purge it all until the body shuts down and lets me rest, renews my energy, and then I come back for a new day. You grown woman are probably not gonna ugly cry in the same way that a newborn does. You might feel better if you did, and so I would hold that open as a very therapeutic kind of cathartic exercise for you.

But the whole idea is you shut everything else out and you get quiet and you get yourself some rest. This is why people dissociate, right? Why we scroll Facebook. But you're still getting the sensory inputs, so don't do it.

That's not an effective response. But it is one that a lot of us take Okay, so that is overwhelm. Well, what is different about that experience when you are getting ready to take a big leap in your life and move to that next level? You've got the promotion or, you know, me, when I left my very stable, very lucrative job in order to open my own business.

Whew, it was a big up level in terms of my quality of life and my passion and my d- and I love this life so much, but holy moly, it felt very scary in my body. And we have spoken before about this, right? Your brain's number one job, that prefrontal cortex has one job, and that one job is keep you alive. And where you are right now, even if you're overwhelmed, where you are right now, you're alive.

The heart is pumping, the blood is flowing, your lungs are going in and out, you're breathing. And so there is a very strong status quo bias in your brain to keep you exactly where you are. And so if you are in a place where you are getting ready to level up, well, that can be pretty freaking scary to your brain, and so your brain can send some threat signals, and many of those signals mirror the same signals that your brain gives you when you're overwhelmed. So, how do you differentiate that?

Well, I'm gonna say, one, it feels different in your body. If the overwhelm feels like everything is urgent, everything is too much, like, I just cannot so when you are upleveling or when you're taking that leap to the next level, when you're shifting gears, right? Going from fourth to fifth, getting on the highway, it can feel scary because there can be a lot happening at once, and it can be m- you can be moving faster than you have in the past. So you can be afraid, but it feels very alive.

It feels electric. It is this mixture of excitement and kind of jittery energy, and that jittery energy can feel bad in our bodies. It can feel kind of like the overwhelm of there's all of this thing, you know, everything is urgent. Urgent and jittery can feel the same or feel similar.

But when you're getting ready to step into that next level, it can feel like a lot. It can feel even too much because your body's not used to it yet, but it is scary and excited, not shut down. That's the distinction between being overwhelmed and being on the precipice of moving to the next level. The symptoms also are different.

With that overwhelm, it is that shutdown. It is that I cannot handle anymore. It is all too much. I can't make simple decisions.

I can't prioritize. When you're getting ready to step into your next level, you are more likely to be experiencing the imposter syndrome and the doubt The I don't know that I'm ready for this, I don't know that I can handle this because you're stepping out of your comfort zone and because that prefrontal cortex is realizing that there is change and the change is perceived as a threat. So what do you do? If it is this, I'm getting ready to move into my next level, and it's feeling like it's too much, I'm feeling like I'm not able to do it, well, the idea is different.

The cure when you're overwhelmed is you really wanna take a big step back and renew, right? Let that nervous system regulate, take a break, rest, restore your actual body. When you're getting ready to take the next step, you wanna take a piece that feels too big, that is too scary and seems undoable, and you wanna break it into smaller pieces. Just ask yourself,"What is the smallest next step that I can take that will achieve some momentum, that will bring me some forward progress?"

And you just take that tiny little next step. Then you're, then you're there, and you say,"Okay, well what's the next small, tiny, little step that I can take to achieve a little momentum and make some forward progress?" And you take that next step. And by taking those tiny little steps, you're signaling to your brain that it's safe, and that it can continue to make progress and move forward.

And I would encourage you in those moments where it feels like this is too much, it's moving too fast, it's all happening at once, I can't do it, to then you really want to be so intentional throughout your day when you wake up, and concretely at discrete points through the day to regulate your nervous system, to do your breathing. If you meditate, to do your meditation. If you do any somatic or movement practices, to do those movement practices so that your body is intentionally signaling, "I am safe in the midst of this transition.

In the middle of the up level, I am safe." Yeah, it is powerful. It sounds so silly. I know.

It sounds woo woo. It sounds like,"Yeah, ha ha, Becky, that's not gonna do anything." I promise you, it makes such a difference. Just hit the I believe button and try it in your life, and then just DM me.

I'm at,@womenleadwell on all social platforms, and you let me know because it is profoundly impactful. Let's say you are feeling out of sorts. It is feeling like too much. How do you really discern overwhelm or level up?

I'm gonna give you a few questions to ask yourself. Not only feel how it feels in your body, right? Go through the symptoms and, and what we've talked about already, but let me give you a few questions that you can ask yourself. Ask yourself, is there excitement and anticipation underneath the stress?

Cause leveling up, taking that, jumping off the cliff, taking that big leap, moving up, like that is stressful. It just is, and don't ever delude yourself to think that it's not gonna be. It is. Feels great on the other side, but when you're going through it, it is stressful.

And so you ask yourself, is there excitement underneath the stress? If the answer is yes, then you're probably in the middle of leveling up. If the answer is no, I haven't felt joy in months, well, then you're probably overwhelmed. If what you are feeling is apathy, dread, then, then it could be overwhelm.

It might be burnout Question number two: Am I avoiding the task, whatever task is in front of you, because I'm scared of failing, I'm scared that I can't do it, or am I avoiding the task because I literally cannot think straight? My husband,"Do you want Thai or Mexican?" I can't answer the question. That's overwhelm.

and then a final question that you can ask yourself is, do I just need to shut off for a while? Like, do I need to take the hot bath? Do I need to just go to sleep? Do I need to ugly cry for 10 minutes to just get the yuck out of my body?

Or do I need a better system? If it is the I need a hard reset, I need to turn this body off and turn it back on, and then maybe make some significant life choices to avoid the overwhelm going forward. Well, that is one thing. If I need a better system, the way that I am doing it now no longer serves me, well, that's probably an indication that you are ready to take your next step, right?

That's an indication of, of being primed to move to the next level because the systems and the habits and the processes that have served you up to this point aren't necessarily the systems, habits, and processes that are gonna serve you as you continue to grow and advance. And so I hope this episode has been helpful for you. This isn't the typical kind of content that I provide here on the podcast, but I really was struck by the conversation because this woman is so accomplished.

I mean, she's just lovely, the lady I was talking to. And, for her to identify as feeling overwhelmed and to recognize in herself that that feeling isn't overwhelm, I need to stop and burn it all down 'cause it ain't working, But that very similar feeling that comes when, when the car is speeding up and the RPMs are, are going faster and faster and you're getting ready to shift from third into fourth or fourth into fifth, and you just... And the, the car just takes off when you do it, it feels so cool, and, and it feels like a lot in the moment.

But then on the other side, if you've never experienced this, on the other side, the car gets quiet again, and the ride gets smoother again because the engine is working more efficiently. And so it is that transition from one level to the next can feel like overwhelm, but it can be the very clear signal to keep going and keep speeding up, keep the momentum going, because on the other side of the friction of the moment is calm, more efficiency, and greater effectiveness. So here's what I would offer.

If you are having a hard time discerning, you know that you are feeling out of sorts, and even after listening to this podcast you are still struggling with identifying, is this overwhelm or am I really ready to take the next step in my life, shoot me a note. Again, I'm at@womenleadwell on all platforms, and let's just jump on a call. I would love to offer you a complimentary 60-minute coaching call, and let's get into it in the specifics of your life so you can make the best-informed decisions about what is next for you.

Now, I hope that you will join me next week when we are going to be doing our mid-year review. Can you believe that it is almost July? We are almost halfway through with 2026. It's freaking me out a little bit, but I love it.

But either way, time is moving forward, and the end of the year is six months away, and there ain't nothing we can do about it except for revisiting those goals that I knew you set back in January, seeing where we are halfway through the year, and adjusting our plan to make sure that we have the best second half of the year possible. Now, if you enjoyed today's episode, I would love for you to share it with a friend. We need more women leading from alignment and not adrenaline.

And if you haven't already, please make sure to like and subscribe so you don't miss next week's drop. And hey, if you're not on my newsletter, The Confidence Edit, what are you doing? Check out the link in the show notes and join. I will send you a weekly email full of inspiration and leadership tips tailored to women.

Remember, joyful, sustainable, and authentic leadership is possible, and you deserve to enjoy every minute of it. Until next time, I'm Becky Hamm, and this is Joyfully Unstoppable.