58 Is it overwhelm or is it time to uplevel?

1 00:00:05,500 --> 00:00:09,089 Welcome to Joyfully Unstoppable, the podcast for women who are 2 00:00:09,089 --> 00:00:11,949 ready to succeed without the stress. 3 00:00:12,580 --> 00:00:17,390 Whether you're leading a team, a classroom, a boardroom, or your 4 00:00:17,429 --> 00:00:21,309 own big, beautiful life, I am so glad you found us. 5 00:00:21,839 --> 00:00:25,670 I'm your host, Becky Hamm, executive coach, speaker, and 6 00:00:25,670 --> 00:00:27,250 founder of Women Lead Well. 7 00:00:27,859 --> 00:00:32,659 Join me each week for straight talk, practical tips, and a dash 8 00:00:32,719 --> 00:00:34,460 of encouragement. 9 00:00:34,960 --> 00:00:36,070 Hello, friend. 10 00:00:36,130 --> 00:00:39,179 I hope that you are having a great day. 11 00:00:39,679 --> 00:00:45,890 Today, we are gonna talk about are you feeling overwhelmed, or 12 00:00:45,929 --> 00:00:49,939 are you just getting ready to step into your new level and 13 00:00:49,939 --> 00:00:51,770 it's a tiny bit scary? 14 00:00:52,270 --> 00:00:56,149 I have worked with many women who come to me overwhelmed. 15 00:00:56,509 --> 00:00:59,729 There's too much on their plate, that work is not lighting them 16 00:00:59,729 --> 00:01:06,629 up, and it is clear that what needs to change in order for 17 00:01:06,629 --> 00:01:11,439 them to find their peace and their joy again And isn't it 18 00:01:11,439 --> 00:01:16,700 sneaky then that many times as we are getting ready to take a 19 00:01:16,709 --> 00:01:20,920 big leap forward, maybe we're jumping off the cliff, we're 20 00:01:20,920 --> 00:01:23,920 leaning into our growth. 21 00:01:24,000 --> 00:01:27,260 We are growing, we are taking the next step in our life and 22 00:01:27,260 --> 00:01:33,150 our business, and it feels overwhelming, and we start to 23 00:01:33,150 --> 00:01:36,989 question whether we're capable of operating at that level. 24 00:01:37,489 --> 00:01:42,359 The feelings can look very similar, almost identical, but 25 00:01:42,359 --> 00:01:47,530 the experiences and the next right step is different. 26 00:01:47,879 --> 00:01:49,409 And so let's talk about it. 27 00:01:49,760 --> 00:01:51,890 I was having a fantastic conversation with a woman 28 00:01:51,890 --> 00:01:52,340 recently. 29 00:01:52,340 --> 00:01:55,739 A fellow entrepreneur here locally, about our experiences 30 00:01:55,790 --> 00:01:59,049 of running a business in our local area. 31 00:01:59,540 --> 00:02:06,730 And I had made the, the comment that y- I, I grew up driving a 32 00:02:06,730 --> 00:02:08,419 stick shift, a manual transmission. 33 00:02:08,650 --> 00:02:12,189 And when you drive stick shift, in the beginning, you kind of 34 00:02:12,819 --> 00:02:17,240 figure out when you, when you should shift and how to shift, 35 00:02:17,469 --> 00:02:20,830 and over time you get the feel of it, that you feel the RPMs 36 00:02:20,849 --> 00:02:21,449 revving up. 37 00:02:21,449 --> 00:02:24,659 You kind of feel the car feels different as you're driving, and 38 00:02:24,659 --> 00:02:28,240 you know,"Oh, it's time for me to shift from second to third, 39 00:02:28,240 --> 00:02:29,919 or third to fourth, or, or fourth to fifth," if you're 40 00:02:29,919 --> 00:02:30,550 getting on the highway. 41 00:02:31,030 --> 00:02:32,409 And you just drive by feel. 42 00:02:32,919 --> 00:02:36,800 But you can feel that it is time to shift gears. 43 00:02:37,219 --> 00:02:41,409 And, um, the woman remarked that, that that was a really 44 00:02:41,409 --> 00:02:44,889 useful analogy for her because as she has been growing her 45 00:02:44,889 --> 00:02:47,500 business and going through some changes in her personal life, 46 00:02:47,889 --> 00:02:50,659 that she has been feeling overwhelmed. 47 00:02:51,110 --> 00:02:54,509 But as I was talking about the shifting gears and leveling up, 48 00:02:54,530 --> 00:02:58,569 that, that she sees now that it's not overwhelm, that it is 49 00:02:58,569 --> 00:03:01,539 in fact she's moving into the next level of her life, both 50 00:03:01,539 --> 00:03:03,180 professionally and personally. 51 00:03:03,680 --> 00:03:06,590 And she also grew up driving stick, and so she understood 52 00:03:06,590 --> 00:03:10,479 that, that metaphor of the feel of the car as you're getting 53 00:03:10,479 --> 00:03:12,539 ready to shift gears and move to the next. 54 00:03:13,090 --> 00:03:14,590 And so that's what we're gonna talk about today. 55 00:03:14,620 --> 00:03:19,629 I wanna distinguish for you- What it looks like to be 56 00:03:19,689 --> 00:03:23,939 overwhelmed, and so how it feels kind of in our bodies what it 57 00:03:23,939 --> 00:03:27,360 feels like, some of the symptoms that we experience when we're 58 00:03:27,360 --> 00:03:28,120 overwhelmed. 59 00:03:28,680 --> 00:03:31,009 What is at the root of overwhelm? 60 00:03:31,009 --> 00:03:33,189 So what's really behind that feeling of overwhelm? 61 00:03:33,620 --> 00:03:35,520 And then what you do. 62 00:03:35,919 --> 00:03:36,400 Like, not... 63 00:03:36,430 --> 00:03:40,909 I don't, I don't wanna say cure, but, but what is your best next 64 00:03:40,919 --> 00:03:43,840 step if you are experiencing overwhelm? 65 00:03:44,000 --> 00:03:49,169 And then contrast that to leveling up, to shifting gears 66 00:03:49,169 --> 00:03:52,000 into that next le- taking that step, jumping off that cliff, 67 00:03:52,439 --> 00:03:57,919 and what that feels like in the body, what some of the symptoms 68 00:03:57,919 --> 00:04:01,090 are, some of the signs that you are moving from one level to the 69 00:04:01,090 --> 00:04:01,650 next. 70 00:04:01,680 --> 00:04:04,409 Because we think it's gonna feel amazing, and it really doesn't 71 00:04:04,419 --> 00:04:06,000 for most of us most of the time. 72 00:04:06,009 --> 00:04:09,319 It's a pretty scary experience or frustrating or difficult, 73 00:04:09,810 --> 00:04:11,129 painful experience. 74 00:04:11,629 --> 00:04:12,900 What is at the root? 75 00:04:12,949 --> 00:04:16,629 And so what's really going on when we move from one level to 76 00:04:16,629 --> 00:04:17,250 the next? 77 00:04:17,629 --> 00:04:18,649 And then same thing. 78 00:04:18,660 --> 00:04:20,259 Okay, so now this is where you are. 79 00:04:20,259 --> 00:04:21,019 What do you do? 80 00:04:21,180 --> 00:04:22,410 What are your next steps? 81 00:04:23,089 --> 00:04:26,589 And so let's start with when you are overwhelmed. 82 00:04:26,600 --> 00:04:30,069 What does that feel like in many of our bodies? 83 00:04:30,110 --> 00:04:32,970 And I say many because every human being is different, and 84 00:04:32,970 --> 00:04:36,050 what I would encourage you is to get to know yourself well enough 85 00:04:36,569 --> 00:04:40,600 so that you can say,"This is what it feels like," as opposed 86 00:04:40,600 --> 00:04:43,470 to,"This is what it feels like when I'm getting ready to move 87 00:04:43,470 --> 00:04:48,500 to the next level or when I am getting ready to, jump off the 88 00:04:48,500 --> 00:04:49,430 cliff" or what have you. 89 00:04:49,930 --> 00:04:54,680 Overwhelm typically in our bodies is a sign that our 90 00:04:54,680 --> 00:04:58,569 nervous system is flooded, that there are too many sensory 91 00:04:58,579 --> 00:05:02,509 inputs and our body, our nervous system is at capacity. 92 00:05:02,519 --> 00:05:07,500 It's at the max level of coping with current demands, and it 93 00:05:07,550 --> 00:05:08,699 can't take any more. 94 00:05:08,959 --> 00:05:12,759 Or maybe in extreme cases you've actually surpassed your maximum 95 00:05:12,759 --> 00:05:17,709 capacity, and the demands on your nervous system exceed your 96 00:05:17,730 --> 00:05:18,439 capacity. 97 00:05:18,939 --> 00:05:23,259 And so that feels like in the body that, like, everything 98 00:05:23,259 --> 00:05:24,019 feels heavy. 99 00:05:24,569 --> 00:05:27,629 You feel kind of shut down. 100 00:05:27,970 --> 00:05:31,980 Everything feels urgent, but everything feels equally urgent. 101 00:05:32,019 --> 00:05:33,759 There's not a prioritization. 102 00:05:33,779 --> 00:05:35,800 It's everything is too much. 103 00:05:36,300 --> 00:05:40,180 And to give an example, because I can feel this way from time to 104 00:05:40,180 --> 00:05:45,250 time, when I get to this place, it is I just cannot. 105 00:05:45,800 --> 00:05:48,259 I cannot take the trash out. 106 00:05:48,670 --> 00:05:51,779 I cannot pick the, my kids' clothes up. 107 00:05:51,779 --> 00:05:54,670 My beautiful daughters, I love them, but they will strip naked 108 00:05:54,670 --> 00:05:56,990 in the kitchen, and their clothes are just all over the 109 00:05:56,990 --> 00:05:57,399 place. 110 00:05:57,860 --> 00:06:00,790 And then we, they, they usually pick it up and take it into the 111 00:06:00,790 --> 00:06:02,750 laundry room, but sometimes they forget. 112 00:06:02,750 --> 00:06:06,740 But so I just cannot bend down to pick up the sock to take it 113 00:06:06,740 --> 00:06:07,620 where it needs to go. 114 00:06:08,050 --> 00:06:08,430 I will... 115 00:06:08,459 --> 00:06:11,310 I just sit down and zone out. 116 00:06:11,529 --> 00:06:13,889 My husband can ask me what I want for dinner, and I cannot 117 00:06:13,889 --> 00:06:15,120 give him an answer to the question. 118 00:06:15,500 --> 00:06:18,269 When I'm feeling overwhelmed, I just cannot. 119 00:06:18,769 --> 00:06:21,990 I might have a to-do list a mile long, and I might feel like 120 00:06:21,990 --> 00:06:25,019 there's everything that I need to be doing, and I cannot. 121 00:06:25,339 --> 00:06:29,860 And so that feeling of overwhelm is that everything feels urgent. 122 00:06:29,889 --> 00:06:32,009 There's no differentiation or prioritization. 123 00:06:32,040 --> 00:06:37,899 It all feels too much, and typically, we tend to shut down 124 00:06:37,959 --> 00:06:41,000 in the case of overwhelm because it is too much for our body. 125 00:06:41,410 --> 00:06:43,379 And again, every body is different. 126 00:06:43,389 --> 00:06:45,970 That is kind of a freeze response, as we're talking about 127 00:06:45,970 --> 00:06:49,709 nervous system regulation, the fight, flight, fawn, and freeze. 128 00:06:50,040 --> 00:06:51,550 I just described a freeze. 129 00:06:52,089 --> 00:06:54,370 That's pretty common in overwhelm, but you might react 130 00:06:54,370 --> 00:06:54,829 differently. 131 00:06:54,839 --> 00:06:59,050 You might react by kicking into over-functioning, and that might 132 00:06:59,050 --> 00:07:01,490 be symptomatic of a flight response or even a fight 133 00:07:01,509 --> 00:07:06,120 response Oftentimes some of the symptoms in addition to that 134 00:07:06,120 --> 00:07:09,129 just I cannot, that shutting down, like that feeling in your 135 00:07:09,129 --> 00:07:11,800 body of everything being heavy, everything being too much. 136 00:07:12,279 --> 00:07:15,699 Brain fog is pretty common with overwhelm. 137 00:07:16,170 --> 00:07:19,110 That desire, like I just described, to withdrawal or 138 00:07:19,120 --> 00:07:24,199 freeze, being unable to prioritize, being unable to make 139 00:07:24,199 --> 00:07:25,310 simple choices. 140 00:07:25,779 --> 00:07:27,899 Like,"Hey Becky, I'm gonna order in tonight. 141 00:07:27,920 --> 00:07:31,009 Do you want Mexican or Thai?" Brain can't answer. 142 00:07:31,199 --> 00:07:32,160 Like it's too much. 143 00:07:32,660 --> 00:07:35,949 So all of those are pretty common symptoms of overwhelm, 144 00:07:36,449 --> 00:07:39,790 and at the root, what's on the bottom, what's underneath all of 145 00:07:39,790 --> 00:07:45,769 that overwhelm is that you, your brain, your body, you have been 146 00:07:45,769 --> 00:07:51,620 facing too many like must-dos, requirements, and I'm gonna call 147 00:07:51,620 --> 00:07:53,730 these passive challenges. 148 00:07:54,139 --> 00:07:58,920 So these are things that you have to do that, um, require 149 00:07:58,920 --> 00:08:02,220 your attention and your energy, but aren't necessarily filling 150 00:08:02,220 --> 00:08:02,779 you up. 151 00:08:03,279 --> 00:08:05,199 So you've got a whole bunch of energy leaks. 152 00:08:05,199 --> 00:08:07,759 We've talked about energy engines and energy leaks on the 153 00:08:07,759 --> 00:08:08,970 podcast in the past. 154 00:08:09,220 --> 00:08:11,189 You got a whole lot of energy leaks, a whole lot of things are 155 00:08:11,189 --> 00:08:14,600 draining your energy, but you don't have things that are, that 156 00:08:14,600 --> 00:08:18,129 are giving you energy, that are life-affirming, and so you are 157 00:08:18,180 --> 00:08:19,290 operating on empty. 158 00:08:19,639 --> 00:08:22,490 Also, do you remember the, the episode on the body budget? 159 00:08:22,500 --> 00:08:25,480 I'll try to remember to link it in the podcast notes, show notes 160 00:08:25,509 --> 00:08:25,920 below. 161 00:08:26,420 --> 00:08:29,110 Um, but your body budget is running in the red, right? 162 00:08:29,110 --> 00:08:31,860 You've got more withdrawals than inputs. 163 00:08:32,360 --> 00:08:35,110 So when you are overwhelmed, what do you do? 164 00:08:35,610 --> 00:08:39,870 If you are like many women, um, y- you should do the opposite of 165 00:08:39,870 --> 00:08:41,190 what you want to do. 166 00:08:41,200 --> 00:08:44,169 What you should do is to stop pushing. 167 00:08:44,669 --> 00:08:48,529 Take a minute, brain dump all of those things, all of those 168 00:08:48,539 --> 00:08:52,389 urgent things that are pushing on you, get'em out of your head 169 00:08:52,399 --> 00:08:55,070 into your phone, in your notes app, or just onto a piece of 170 00:08:55,070 --> 00:08:55,549 paper. 171 00:08:55,940 --> 00:09:00,549 Just brain dump it so your mind can get a little space. 172 00:09:01,049 --> 00:09:03,450 And then maybe take a nap. 173 00:09:04,129 --> 00:09:06,320 Maybe just lay down. 174 00:09:06,840 --> 00:09:09,159 If you've got the energy, maybe go for a walk. 175 00:09:09,320 --> 00:09:11,490 Take a long, hot bath. 176 00:09:11,990 --> 00:09:16,090 But what your nervous system needs is that time to come back 177 00:09:16,129 --> 00:09:22,080 to center and to quiet itself without stimulus, without input, 178 00:09:22,409 --> 00:09:26,389 but to just renew itself a little bit. 179 00:09:26,889 --> 00:09:29,799 So if you practice any kind of nervous system regulation 180 00:09:29,799 --> 00:09:32,919 techniques, like breathing exercises or other somatic 181 00:09:32,919 --> 00:09:36,629 practices or yoga, this would be a great thing to do when you're 182 00:09:36,629 --> 00:09:40,470 feeling overwhelmed to help that nervous system regulate and for 183 00:09:40,470 --> 00:09:45,570 your body to feel its calmness again, to feel safety in it 184 00:09:45,679 --> 00:09:46,110 again. 185 00:09:46,610 --> 00:09:48,120 So all of that is overwhelm. 186 00:09:48,129 --> 00:09:52,929 Overwhelm comes from it is too much, the nervous system has too 187 00:09:52,960 --> 00:09:55,259 many inputs, and it's just hit the wall. 188 00:09:55,759 --> 00:09:59,120 And look, we see this, you are a grown woman, and I'm not 189 00:09:59,120 --> 00:10:01,309 infantilizing you, but humans are humans. 190 00:10:01,379 --> 00:10:02,860 Baby humans are humans. 191 00:10:03,139 --> 00:10:03,960 We are humans. 192 00:10:04,620 --> 00:10:09,919 And any of you who have dealt with little newborns, you will 193 00:10:09,919 --> 00:10:13,919 remember that they can get overstimulated pretty easily, 194 00:10:14,230 --> 00:10:19,840 and when they do, oftentimes they just absolute meltdown, 195 00:10:19,850 --> 00:10:24,370 sobbing, scream crying until they fall asleep, right? 196 00:10:24,870 --> 00:10:31,070 That is the kind of overwhelm, that is the unfiltered, un- um, 197 00:10:31,370 --> 00:10:36,220 socially conditioned response to overwhelm, is I'm gonna purge it 198 00:10:36,220 --> 00:10:36,720 all. 199 00:10:37,100 --> 00:10:38,639 I can receive no more inputs. 200 00:10:38,669 --> 00:10:42,409 I purge it all until the body shuts down and lets me rest, 201 00:10:42,460 --> 00:10:45,250 renews my energy, and then I come back for a new day. 202 00:10:45,750 --> 00:10:49,590 You grown woman are probably not gonna ugly cry in the same way 203 00:10:49,620 --> 00:10:50,669 that a newborn does. 204 00:10:51,269 --> 00:10:53,649 You might feel better if you did, and so I would hold that 205 00:10:53,659 --> 00:10:57,500 open as a very therapeutic kind of cathartic exercise for you. 206 00:10:58,000 --> 00:11:01,169 But the whole idea is you shut everything else out and you get 207 00:11:01,169 --> 00:11:03,090 quiet and you get yourself some rest. 208 00:11:03,590 --> 00:11:05,039 This is why people dissociate, right? 209 00:11:05,039 --> 00:11:06,110 Why we scroll Facebook. 210 00:11:06,149 --> 00:11:08,330 But you're still getting the sensory inputs, so don't do it. 211 00:11:08,340 --> 00:11:10,230 That's not an effective response. 212 00:11:10,500 --> 00:11:15,230 But it is one that a lot of us take Okay, so that is overwhelm. 213 00:11:15,730 --> 00:11:19,649 Well, what is different about that experience when you are 214 00:11:19,649 --> 00:11:24,279 getting ready to take a big leap in your life and move to that 215 00:11:24,279 --> 00:11:24,860 next level? 216 00:11:24,870 --> 00:11:29,720 You've got the promotion or, you know, me, when I left my very 217 00:11:29,730 --> 00:11:34,710 stable, very lucrative job in order to open my own business. 218 00:11:35,210 --> 00:11:38,480 Whew, it was a big up level in terms of my quality of life and 219 00:11:38,480 --> 00:11:42,350 my passion and my d- and I love this life so much, but holy 220 00:11:42,350 --> 00:11:45,799 moly, it felt very scary in my body. 221 00:11:46,299 --> 00:11:48,389 And we have spoken before about this, right? 222 00:11:48,389 --> 00:11:51,980 Your brain's number one job, that prefrontal cortex has one 223 00:11:51,980 --> 00:11:53,970 job, and that one job is keep you alive. 224 00:11:54,500 --> 00:11:57,009 And where you are right now, even if you're overwhelmed, 225 00:11:57,309 --> 00:11:59,730 where you are right now, you're alive. 226 00:12:00,159 --> 00:12:03,940 The heart is pumping, the blood is flowing, your lungs are going 227 00:12:03,940 --> 00:12:05,210 in and out, you're breathing. 228 00:12:05,549 --> 00:12:09,440 And so there is a very strong status quo bias in your brain to 229 00:12:09,440 --> 00:12:10,809 keep you exactly where you are. 230 00:12:11,389 --> 00:12:14,460 And so if you are in a place where you are getting ready to 231 00:12:14,460 --> 00:12:17,669 level up, well, that can be pretty freaking scary to your 232 00:12:17,679 --> 00:12:21,299 brain, and so your brain can send some threat signals, and 233 00:12:21,299 --> 00:12:25,299 many of those signals mirror the same signals that your brain 234 00:12:25,440 --> 00:12:26,850 gives you when you're overwhelmed. 235 00:12:27,350 --> 00:12:30,950 So, how do you differentiate that? 236 00:12:31,450 --> 00:12:35,129 Well, I'm gonna say, one, it feels different in your body. 237 00:12:35,299 --> 00:12:40,009 If the overwhelm feels like everything is urgent, everything 238 00:12:40,009 --> 00:12:45,070 is too much, like, I just cannot so when you are upleveling or 239 00:12:45,070 --> 00:12:47,990 when you're taking that leap to the next level, when you're 240 00:12:47,990 --> 00:12:49,399 shifting gears, right? 241 00:12:49,399 --> 00:12:52,539 Going from fourth to fifth, getting on the highway, it can 242 00:12:52,549 --> 00:12:57,389 feel scary because there can be a lot happening at once, and it 243 00:12:57,389 --> 00:13:00,370 can be m- you can be moving faster than you have in the 244 00:13:00,370 --> 00:13:01,090 past. 245 00:13:01,500 --> 00:13:05,570 So you can be afraid, but it feels very alive. 246 00:13:05,570 --> 00:13:07,269 It feels electric. 247 00:13:07,320 --> 00:13:12,120 It is this mixture of excitement and kind of jittery energy, and 248 00:13:12,120 --> 00:13:16,629 that jittery energy can feel bad in our bodies. 249 00:13:16,629 --> 00:13:20,250 It can feel kind of like the overwhelm of there's all of this 250 00:13:20,250 --> 00:13:22,070 thing, you know, everything is urgent. 251 00:13:22,120 --> 00:13:24,779 Urgent and jittery can feel the same or feel similar. 252 00:13:25,279 --> 00:13:28,799 But when you're getting ready to step into that next level, it 253 00:13:28,799 --> 00:13:30,250 can feel like a lot. 254 00:13:30,649 --> 00:13:34,240 It can feel even too much because your body's not used to 255 00:13:34,240 --> 00:13:40,169 it yet, but it is scary and excited, not shut down. 256 00:13:40,669 --> 00:13:43,809 That's the distinction between being overwhelmed and being on 257 00:13:43,809 --> 00:13:46,350 the precipice of moving to the next level. 258 00:13:46,850 --> 00:13:49,169 The symptoms also are different. 259 00:13:49,210 --> 00:13:51,940 With that overwhelm, it is that shutdown. 260 00:13:51,950 --> 00:13:54,610 It is that I cannot handle anymore. 261 00:13:54,639 --> 00:13:55,590 It is all too much. 262 00:13:55,590 --> 00:13:56,850 I can't make simple decisions. 263 00:13:56,850 --> 00:13:58,070 I can't prioritize. 264 00:13:58,570 --> 00:14:01,850 When you're getting ready to step into your next level, you 265 00:14:01,850 --> 00:14:04,990 are more likely to be experiencing the imposter 266 00:14:05,000 --> 00:14:08,850 syndrome and the doubt The I don't know that I'm ready for 267 00:14:08,850 --> 00:14:12,429 this, I don't know that I can handle this because you're 268 00:14:12,429 --> 00:14:15,090 stepping out of your comfort zone and because that prefrontal 269 00:14:15,100 --> 00:14:19,429 cortex is realizing that there is change and the change is 270 00:14:19,429 --> 00:14:21,169 perceived as a threat. 271 00:14:21,669 --> 00:14:23,850 So what do you do? 272 00:14:24,350 --> 00:14:27,480 If it is this, I'm getting ready to move into my next level, and 273 00:14:27,480 --> 00:14:30,960 it's feeling like it's too much, I'm feeling like I'm not able to 274 00:14:30,960 --> 00:14:33,820 do it, well, the idea is different. 275 00:14:34,309 --> 00:14:36,509 The cure when you're overwhelmed is you really wanna take a big 276 00:14:36,509 --> 00:14:38,279 step back and renew, right? 277 00:14:38,279 --> 00:14:41,500 Let that nervous system regulate, take a break, rest, 278 00:14:41,549 --> 00:14:43,419 restore your actual body. 279 00:14:43,919 --> 00:14:46,769 When you're getting ready to take the next step, you wanna 280 00:14:46,779 --> 00:14:50,370 take a piece that feels too big, that is too scary and seems 281 00:14:50,409 --> 00:14:53,519 undoable, and you wanna break it into smaller pieces. 282 00:14:54,049 --> 00:14:58,860 Just ask yourself,"What is the smallest next step that I can 283 00:14:58,860 --> 00:15:01,860 take that will achieve some momentum, that will bring me 284 00:15:01,860 --> 00:15:05,049 some forward progress?" And you just take that tiny little next 285 00:15:05,059 --> 00:15:05,529 step. 286 00:15:06,029 --> 00:15:08,090 Then you're, then you're there, and you say,"Okay, well what's 287 00:15:08,090 --> 00:15:11,090 the next small, tiny, little step that I can take to achieve 288 00:15:11,090 --> 00:15:13,440 a little momentum and make some forward progress?" And you take 289 00:15:13,450 --> 00:15:14,269 that next step. 290 00:15:14,730 --> 00:15:18,629 And by taking those tiny little steps, you're signaling to your 291 00:15:18,639 --> 00:15:22,879 brain that it's safe, and that it can continue to make progress 292 00:15:22,940 --> 00:15:23,909 and move forward. 293 00:15:24,409 --> 00:15:28,830 And I would encourage you in those moments where it feels 294 00:15:28,830 --> 00:15:31,460 like this is too much, it's moving too fast, it's all 295 00:15:31,460 --> 00:15:35,340 happening at once, I can't do it, to then you really want to 296 00:15:35,350 --> 00:15:39,759 be so intentional throughout your day when you wake up, and 297 00:15:39,850 --> 00:15:43,639 concretely at discrete points through the day to regulate your 298 00:15:43,639 --> 00:15:45,429 nervous system, to do your breathing. 299 00:15:45,429 --> 00:15:47,250 If you meditate, to do your meditation. 300 00:15:47,259 --> 00:15:50,860 If you do any somatic or movement practices, to do those 301 00:15:50,860 --> 00:15:56,600 movement practices so that your body is intentionally signaling, 302 00:15:56,659 --> 00:16:01,039 "I am safe in the midst of this transition. 303 00:16:01,370 --> 00:16:07,190 In the middle of the up level, I am safe." Yeah, it is powerful. 304 00:16:07,210 --> 00:16:08,440 It sounds so silly. 305 00:16:08,490 --> 00:16:08,840 I know. 306 00:16:08,840 --> 00:16:09,899 It sounds woo woo. 307 00:16:09,919 --> 00:16:12,950 It sounds like,"Yeah, ha ha, Becky, that's not gonna do 308 00:16:12,950 --> 00:16:18,100 anything." I promise you, it makes such a difference. 309 00:16:18,129 --> 00:16:21,299 Just hit the I believe button and try it in your life, and 310 00:16:21,299 --> 00:16:22,198 then just DM me. 311 00:16:22,508 --> 00:16:25,269 I'm at,@womenleadwell on all social platforms, and you let me 312 00:16:25,269 --> 00:16:27,889 know because it is profoundly impactful. 313 00:16:28,188 --> 00:16:31,849 Let's say you are feeling out of sorts. 314 00:16:32,198 --> 00:16:34,739 It is feeling like too much. 315 00:16:35,239 --> 00:16:41,048 How do you really discern overwhelm or level up? 316 00:16:41,548 --> 00:16:44,458 I'm gonna give you a few questions to ask yourself. 317 00:16:44,808 --> 00:16:47,399 Not only feel how it feels in your body, right? 318 00:16:47,399 --> 00:16:50,568 Go through the symptoms and, and what we've talked about already, 319 00:16:50,899 --> 00:16:52,558 but let me give you a few questions that you can ask 320 00:16:52,558 --> 00:16:53,158 yourself. 321 00:16:53,769 --> 00:16:58,808 Ask yourself, is there excitement and anticipation 322 00:16:59,068 --> 00:17:00,519 underneath the stress? 323 00:17:01,019 --> 00:17:03,528 Cause leveling up, taking that, jumping off the cliff, taking 324 00:17:03,528 --> 00:17:05,969 that big leap, moving up, like that is stressful. 325 00:17:05,969 --> 00:17:08,759 It just is, and don't ever delude yourself to think that 326 00:17:08,759 --> 00:17:09,618 it's not gonna be. 327 00:17:10,108 --> 00:17:10,868 It is. 328 00:17:10,919 --> 00:17:12,888 Feels great on the other side, but when you're going through 329 00:17:12,888 --> 00:17:13,919 it, it is stressful. 330 00:17:14,358 --> 00:17:18,199 And so you ask yourself, is there excitement underneath the 331 00:17:18,199 --> 00:17:18,848 stress? 332 00:17:19,348 --> 00:17:22,159 If the answer is yes, then you're probably in the middle of 333 00:17:22,159 --> 00:17:22,959 leveling up. 334 00:17:23,618 --> 00:17:27,699 If the answer is no, I haven't felt joy in months, well, then 335 00:17:27,699 --> 00:17:28,838 you're probably overwhelmed. 336 00:17:29,739 --> 00:17:33,578 If what you are feeling is apathy, dread, then, then it 337 00:17:33,578 --> 00:17:34,259 could be overwhelm. 338 00:17:34,259 --> 00:17:38,063 It might be burnout Question number two: Am I avoiding the 339 00:17:38,063 --> 00:17:42,202 task, whatever task is in front of you, because I'm scared of 340 00:17:42,202 --> 00:17:47,613 failing, I'm scared that I can't do it, or am I avoiding the task 341 00:17:48,173 --> 00:17:50,732 because I literally cannot think straight? 342 00:17:51,232 --> 00:17:54,042 My husband,"Do you want Thai or Mexican?" I can't answer the 343 00:17:54,042 --> 00:17:54,603 question. 344 00:17:54,952 --> 00:17:55,972 That's overwhelm. 345 00:17:56,472 --> 00:18:00,863 and then a final question that you can ask yourself is, do I 346 00:18:00,863 --> 00:18:02,542 just need to shut off for a while? 347 00:18:02,883 --> 00:18:04,532 Like, do I need to take the hot bath? 348 00:18:04,843 --> 00:18:06,512 Do I need to just go to sleep? 349 00:18:06,803 --> 00:18:10,393 Do I need to ugly cry for 10 minutes to just get the yuck out 350 00:18:10,393 --> 00:18:11,103 of my body? 351 00:18:11,603 --> 00:18:14,053 Or do I need a better system? 352 00:18:14,353 --> 00:18:18,212 If it is the I need a hard reset, I need to turn this body 353 00:18:18,212 --> 00:18:21,313 off and turn it back on, and then maybe make some significant 354 00:18:21,313 --> 00:18:23,712 life choices to avoid the overwhelm going forward. 355 00:18:24,012 --> 00:18:25,113 Well, that is one thing. 356 00:18:25,613 --> 00:18:29,393 If I need a better system, the way that I am doing it now no 357 00:18:29,393 --> 00:18:32,853 longer serves me, well, that's probably an indication that you 358 00:18:32,853 --> 00:18:35,923 are ready to take your next step, right? 359 00:18:35,992 --> 00:18:39,762 That's an indication of, of being primed to move to the next 360 00:18:39,762 --> 00:18:42,413 level because the systems and the habits and the processes 361 00:18:42,413 --> 00:18:45,833 that have served you up to this point aren't necessarily the 362 00:18:45,833 --> 00:18:48,722 systems, habits, and processes that are gonna serve you as you 363 00:18:48,722 --> 00:18:50,593 continue to grow and advance. 364 00:18:51,093 --> 00:18:54,093 And so I hope this episode has been helpful for you. 365 00:18:54,093 --> 00:18:57,022 This isn't the typical kind of content that I provide here on 366 00:18:57,022 --> 00:19:00,272 the podcast, but I really was struck by the conversation 367 00:19:00,272 --> 00:19:02,083 because this woman is so accomplished. 368 00:19:02,083 --> 00:19:03,952 I mean, she's just lovely, the lady I was talking to. 369 00:19:04,532 --> 00:19:09,712 And, for her to identify as feeling overwhelmed and to 370 00:19:09,722 --> 00:19:14,452 recognize in herself that that feeling isn't overwhelm, I need 371 00:19:14,452 --> 00:19:17,742 to stop and burn it all down 'cause it ain't working, But 372 00:19:17,913 --> 00:19:23,383 that very similar feeling that comes when, when the car is 373 00:19:23,383 --> 00:19:26,502 speeding up and the RPMs are, are going faster and faster and 374 00:19:26,502 --> 00:19:28,772 you're getting ready to shift from third into fourth or fourth 375 00:19:28,772 --> 00:19:30,073 into fifth, and you just... 376 00:19:30,093 --> 00:19:32,623 And the, the car just takes off when you do it, it feels so 377 00:19:32,623 --> 00:19:36,823 cool, and, and it feels like a lot in the moment. 378 00:19:36,932 --> 00:19:39,942 But then on the other side, if you've never experienced this, 379 00:19:39,972 --> 00:19:43,292 on the other side, the car gets quiet again, and the ride gets 380 00:19:43,292 --> 00:19:45,962 smoother again because the engine is working more 381 00:19:45,962 --> 00:19:46,762 efficiently. 382 00:19:47,353 --> 00:19:51,383 And so it is that transition from one level to the next can 383 00:19:51,393 --> 00:19:57,732 feel like overwhelm, but it can be the very clear signal to keep 384 00:19:57,732 --> 00:20:02,653 going and keep speeding up, keep the momentum going, because on 385 00:20:02,653 --> 00:20:08,502 the other side of the friction of the moment is calm, more 386 00:20:08,502 --> 00:20:11,272 efficiency, and greater effectiveness. 387 00:20:11,772 --> 00:20:13,942 So here's what I would offer. 388 00:20:14,063 --> 00:20:16,843 If you are having a hard time discerning, you know that you 389 00:20:16,843 --> 00:20:19,833 are feeling out of sorts, and even after listening to this 390 00:20:19,843 --> 00:20:22,843 podcast you are still struggling with identifying, is this 391 00:20:22,853 --> 00:20:26,883 overwhelm or am I really ready to take the next step in my 392 00:20:26,883 --> 00:20:28,573 life, shoot me a note. 393 00:20:28,603 --> 00:20:32,343 Again, I'm at@womenleadwell on all platforms, and let's just 394 00:20:32,522 --> 00:20:33,522 jump on a call. 395 00:20:33,522 --> 00:20:37,002 I would love to offer you a complimentary 60-minute coaching 396 00:20:37,002 --> 00:20:40,282 call, and let's get into it in the specifics of your life so 397 00:20:40,282 --> 00:20:43,942 you can make the best-informed decisions about what is next for 398 00:20:43,942 --> 00:20:44,262 you. 399 00:20:44,762 --> 00:20:48,403 Now, I hope that you will join me next week when we are going 400 00:20:48,403 --> 00:20:50,692 to be doing our mid-year review. 401 00:20:50,752 --> 00:20:53,663 Can you believe that it is almost July? 402 00:20:53,673 --> 00:20:56,202 We are almost halfway through with 2026. 403 00:20:56,702 --> 00:20:59,012 It's freaking me out a little bit, but I love it. 404 00:20:59,173 --> 00:21:02,762 But either way, time is moving forward, and the end of the year 405 00:21:02,762 --> 00:21:05,163 is six months away, and there ain't nothing we can do about it 406 00:21:05,663 --> 00:21:09,512 except for revisiting those goals that I knew you set back 407 00:21:09,522 --> 00:21:14,653 in January, seeing where we are halfway through the year, and 408 00:21:14,653 --> 00:21:18,192 adjusting our plan to make sure that we have the best second 409 00:21:18,202 --> 00:21:20,282 half of the year possible. 410 00:21:20,583 --> 00:21:24,883 Now, if you enjoyed today's episode, I would love for you to 411 00:21:24,883 --> 00:21:26,053 share it with a friend. 412 00:21:26,113 --> 00:21:30,173 We need more women leading from alignment and not adrenaline. 413 00:21:30,673 --> 00:21:33,113 And if you haven't already, please make sure to like and 414 00:21:33,113 --> 00:21:36,163 subscribe so you don't miss next week's drop. 415 00:21:36,732 --> 00:21:39,653 And hey, if you're not on my newsletter, The Confidence Edit, 416 00:21:39,992 --> 00:21:41,002 what are you doing? 417 00:21:41,103 --> 00:21:43,573 Check out the link in the show notes and join. 418 00:21:43,583 --> 00:21:46,752 I will send you a weekly email full of inspiration and 419 00:21:46,752 --> 00:21:49,282 leadership tips tailored to women. 420 00:21:49,782 --> 00:21:54,083 Remember, joyful, sustainable, and authentic leadership is 421 00:21:54,083 --> 00:21:58,373 possible, and you deserve to enjoy every minute of it. 422 00:21:59,053 --> 00:22:03,333 Until next time, I'm Becky Hamm, and this is Joyfully 423 00:22:03,393 --> 00:22:04,272 Unstoppable.