56 Leadership for the Long Haul: Avoid Burnout & Navigate Office Politics for Career Success

1 00:00:05,500 --> 00:00:08,449 Becky: Welcome to Joyfully Unstoppable, the podcast for 2 00:00:08,449 --> 00:00:12,250 women who are ready to succeed without the stress. 3 00:00:12,769 --> 00:00:17,179 Whether you're leading a team, a classroom, a boardroom, or your 4 00:00:17,230 --> 00:00:21,859 own big, beautiful life, I am so glad you found us. 5 00:00:22,300 --> 00:00:26,640 I'm your host, Becky Hamm, executive coach, speaker, and 6 00:00:26,640 --> 00:00:28,410 founder of Women Lead Well. 7 00:00:29,010 --> 00:00:33,609 Join me each week for straight talk, practical tips, and a dash 8 00:00:33,609 --> 00:00:34,759 of encouragement. 9 00:00:35,259 --> 00:00:36,479 Hello, friend. 10 00:00:37,840 --> 00:00:40,731 I hope you are having a great day. 11 00:00:41,231 --> 00:00:46,451 I had the amazing fortune of speaking at two different events 12 00:00:46,451 --> 00:00:47,170 last week. 13 00:00:47,691 --> 00:00:53,070 Both were full of highly capable, successful, impressive 14 00:00:53,070 --> 00:00:53,560 women. 15 00:00:53,881 --> 00:00:54,470 I loved it. 16 00:00:54,481 --> 00:00:56,060 My morale is high. 17 00:00:56,100 --> 00:00:57,220 I was energized. 18 00:00:57,231 --> 00:01:00,290 It is why I do what I do, to serve these amazing women. 19 00:01:00,790 --> 00:01:07,031 And at both events, women spoke about burnout, about not 20 00:01:07,061 --> 00:01:12,960 enjoying the success that they have so richly earned over years 21 00:01:13,120 --> 00:01:15,320 and decades of hard work. 22 00:01:15,820 --> 00:01:17,620 And so I want us to talk about it. 23 00:01:18,120 --> 00:01:23,061 A lot of us, particularly those of us of a certain age, we 24 00:01:23,120 --> 00:01:28,010 entered leadership believing that hard work, that our 25 00:01:28,061 --> 00:01:31,971 expertise, right, that our being really good at what we do and 26 00:01:31,971 --> 00:01:35,561 our good intentions, our desire, our heart to serve, would be 27 00:01:35,561 --> 00:01:38,971 enough to create a successful and enjoyable career. 28 00:01:39,471 --> 00:01:40,620 And those things matter. 29 00:01:40,721 --> 00:01:44,411 I don't wanna dissuade anyone from showing up with a full 30 00:01:44,411 --> 00:01:48,721 heart to do good in this world, and I don't wanna dissuade 31 00:01:48,730 --> 00:01:52,631 anyone from cultivating their expertise'cause, yeah, you need 32 00:01:52,631 --> 00:01:52,891 it. 33 00:01:53,200 --> 00:01:59,131 Those things matter And also leadership is a marathon, not a 34 00:01:59,131 --> 00:01:59,960 sprint. 35 00:02:00,260 --> 00:02:04,381 And the leaders who thrive over decades are the ones who 36 00:02:04,381 --> 00:02:09,330 understand that, one, challenges are not signs of failure, right? 37 00:02:09,330 --> 00:02:12,431 They have a growth mindset, and so they embrace those 38 00:02:12,441 --> 00:02:16,371 challenges, and they embrace failure for the opportunity to 39 00:02:16,371 --> 00:02:17,591 learn from them. 40 00:02:18,091 --> 00:02:21,070 The ones who succeed for the long haul are the ones who 41 00:02:21,070 --> 00:02:24,431 acknowledge, don't have to like it, but acknowledge that 42 00:02:24,431 --> 00:02:32,050 politics exists within every organization, and that energy is 43 00:02:32,061 --> 00:02:37,010 a resource that you are responsible for managing. 44 00:02:37,510 --> 00:02:41,520 And so the goal, if you want to avoid burnout, if you want to 45 00:02:41,531 --> 00:02:46,871 enjoy success and enjoy your life as a leader for decades, 46 00:02:47,480 --> 00:02:49,640 the goal is not to avoid these realities. 47 00:02:49,651 --> 00:02:51,591 That resistance only makes it harder. 48 00:02:51,600 --> 00:02:57,920 The goal is to navigate them skillfully while staying true to 49 00:02:57,920 --> 00:03:00,020 who you are, while remaining authentic. 50 00:03:00,091 --> 00:03:02,040 And so that's what we're gonna talk about today. 51 00:03:02,050 --> 00:03:05,730 We're gonna talk about leading for the long haul by building 52 00:03:05,730 --> 00:03:09,971 your resilience, by cultivating your influence, and by weaving 53 00:03:09,980 --> 00:03:14,591 sustainability into every step of your journey. 54 00:03:15,091 --> 00:03:20,711 And so let's start by W- with our mindset. 55 00:03:21,121 --> 00:03:24,681 Mm, I, I don't love using the word mindset because people tend 56 00:03:24,681 --> 00:03:27,080 to use it in a way of we're just gonna, like, positive think, 57 00:03:27,080 --> 00:03:30,161 like, wishful thinking our way out of our reality, and I do not 58 00:03:30,161 --> 00:03:30,991 mean it that way. 59 00:03:31,401 --> 00:03:38,211 What I mean here is that many of us have a short-term mindset, 60 00:03:38,540 --> 00:03:38,971 right? 61 00:03:39,161 --> 00:03:44,820 We have a short-term planning horizon payoff timeline as 62 00:03:44,820 --> 00:03:48,800 opposed to a more long-term timeline, and so that's what I'm 63 00:03:48,800 --> 00:03:49,501 talking about. 64 00:03:50,001 --> 00:03:54,931 And our lives in, as leaders tend to reinforce this. 65 00:03:55,260 --> 00:03:59,980 Many of us are rewarded early in our careers for being 66 00:04:00,031 --> 00:04:03,911 dependable, for being responsive, for being willing to 67 00:04:03,911 --> 00:04:08,670 do more than most of our counterparts, and so we get that 68 00:04:08,670 --> 00:04:12,200 positive reinforcement of showing up and hustling and 69 00:04:12,221 --> 00:04:15,610 being diligent and always being available and always being on 70 00:04:15,610 --> 00:04:16,630 and having no boundaries. 71 00:04:16,630 --> 00:04:21,771 And all of that feeds into our success at the junior levels. 72 00:04:22,271 --> 00:04:25,350 However, and you know this intellectually, but it's knowing 73 00:04:25,350 --> 00:04:29,180 it, like, in your body, that as your responsibilities increase, 74 00:04:29,211 --> 00:04:34,380 as you grow more senior, those same habits limit you. 75 00:04:34,951 --> 00:04:38,221 This is a core part of what I work on with my clients inside 76 00:04:38,221 --> 00:04:42,331 the Women's Executive Leadership Lab, is that it's so trite, but 77 00:04:42,331 --> 00:04:43,190 it is so true. 78 00:04:43,190 --> 00:04:45,841 What got you here, what got you to be a director, what got you 79 00:04:45,841 --> 00:04:50,130 to be a VP, what got you to the C-suite is not what is gonna 80 00:04:50,130 --> 00:04:51,550 take you to that next level. 81 00:04:52,050 --> 00:04:54,771 And so in terms of your professional growth, it's not 82 00:04:54,771 --> 00:04:58,750 effective to stay stuck in the patterns that worked for you in 83 00:04:58,750 --> 00:05:00,310 your 20s and 30s. 84 00:05:00,930 --> 00:05:05,430 But for your own quality of life, it doesn't work for you to 85 00:05:05,430 --> 00:05:08,201 stay stuck in those patterns either because that's what leads 86 00:05:08,201 --> 00:05:09,201 to your burnout. 87 00:05:09,661 --> 00:05:14,300 My point is this: there is a difference between being 88 00:05:14,300 --> 00:05:19,630 successful today and being successful over the next 20 89 00:05:19,630 --> 00:05:20,091 years. 90 00:05:20,591 --> 00:05:23,091 There's a difference between what you need to do to be 91 00:05:23,091 --> 00:05:27,031 successful today and what you have done to be successful over 92 00:05:27,031 --> 00:05:30,451 the past 20 years Sustainability. 93 00:05:30,860 --> 00:05:34,610 If you wanna, if, if, if you wanna retire early, hey look, 94 00:05:34,651 --> 00:05:37,451 then make your money and punch out and you don't have to listen 95 00:05:37,451 --> 00:05:38,350 to a thing I'm saying. 96 00:05:38,531 --> 00:05:39,281 Live your life. 97 00:05:39,781 --> 00:05:40,451 Good for you. 98 00:05:40,511 --> 00:05:40,961 Yay. 99 00:05:41,100 --> 00:05:41,850 Rock on. 100 00:05:41,951 --> 00:05:44,920 I'm a big fan of women earning enough to retire early. 101 00:05:45,540 --> 00:05:49,300 I'm here for it, and send me DMs and tell me your stories, and I 102 00:05:49,300 --> 00:05:50,790 wanna rejoice and celebrate with you. 103 00:05:51,490 --> 00:05:55,290 But if that's not your life, if you are intending to stay in the 104 00:05:55,290 --> 00:06:01,380 workforce until your mid to late 60s, then what you're doing has 105 00:06:01,380 --> 00:06:02,511 to be sustainable. 106 00:06:03,011 --> 00:06:07,971 Or you can probably keep the pace up, you can probably keep 107 00:06:07,980 --> 00:06:13,190 muscling through because you're freaking awesome and because 108 00:06:13,201 --> 00:06:16,860 you're capable, highly capable, probably more capable than a lot 109 00:06:16,860 --> 00:06:21,031 of people, but, ya girl, you're gonna be miserable, and I don't 110 00:06:21,031 --> 00:06:23,161 want that for you, and you shouldn't want that for 111 00:06:23,161 --> 00:06:23,850 yourself. 112 00:06:24,350 --> 00:06:29,240 So sustainability matters more than intensity. 113 00:06:29,740 --> 00:06:35,721 Working in a way that sets you up for long-term success is far 114 00:06:35,771 --> 00:06:40,161 more valuable to you and will have a greater payoff for you 115 00:06:40,661 --> 00:06:43,271 than doing something today that's gonna have the immediate 116 00:06:43,300 --> 00:06:45,341 impact and the immediate success. 117 00:06:45,841 --> 00:06:49,721 This means taking a far more strategic approach to how you 118 00:06:49,740 --> 00:06:53,170 pursue your own career and how you pursue the work that you're 119 00:06:53,170 --> 00:06:56,130 doing at your current stage, wherever you are right now, 120 00:06:56,480 --> 00:06:59,050 being far more strategic about your focus and your time and 121 00:06:59,050 --> 00:07:00,630 your energy and the relationships that you're 122 00:07:00,630 --> 00:07:03,901 cultivating and the work that you're doing than if you're just 123 00:07:03,920 --> 00:07:08,190 looking for that near term,"Atta girl, you did a great job, I 124 00:07:08,190 --> 00:07:11,630 knew I could rely on you." Like, that quick dopamine hit hurts 125 00:07:11,630 --> 00:07:12,651 you over the long haul. 126 00:07:13,151 --> 00:07:17,531 So that is what I wanna say first, is the first step to 127 00:07:17,531 --> 00:07:20,630 overcoming burnout, the first step to handling those setbacks 128 00:07:20,630 --> 00:07:23,790 effectively when they come, because they come for everybody, 129 00:07:24,411 --> 00:07:28,540 the first step to dealing with pushback when people and office 130 00:07:28,560 --> 00:07:33,161 politics gets in your way, the first step is to adopt a 131 00:07:33,161 --> 00:07:37,721 long-term mindset And so a question that I would ask you to 132 00:07:37,721 --> 00:07:43,690 think about is what would you need to change if you want your 133 00:07:43,690 --> 00:07:47,391 career to be thriving 10 years from now? 134 00:07:47,850 --> 00:07:51,110 I think maybe a first question is, what does a thriving career 135 00:07:51,110 --> 00:07:53,380 look like for you 10 years from now, right? 136 00:07:53,380 --> 00:07:55,411 So what do you want your career to look like? 137 00:07:56,141 --> 00:07:57,771 And then what needs to change? 138 00:07:58,271 --> 00:08:00,850 Maybe what's holding you back now, what patterns, what habits 139 00:08:00,850 --> 00:08:02,000 aren't working for you. 140 00:08:02,500 --> 00:08:05,060 And then as we continue to talk, I'm gonna, I'm gonna ask you to 141 00:08:05,060 --> 00:08:09,560 think what is something actively that you can do differently to 142 00:08:09,560 --> 00:08:11,071 get a different result going forward? 143 00:08:11,571 --> 00:08:15,151 Okay, so that is step number one, is to take that long-term 144 00:08:15,151 --> 00:08:15,630 mindset. 145 00:08:16,130 --> 00:08:20,740 Step number two is politics is everywhere, y'all. 146 00:08:21,240 --> 00:08:23,940 And so a lot of my clients, women that I talk to, part of 147 00:08:23,940 --> 00:08:27,310 what is frustrating to them and what makes leadership less 148 00:08:27,310 --> 00:08:30,550 enjoyable or makes their roles less enjoyable the more senior 149 00:08:30,550 --> 00:08:32,671 they get, is the politics in the office. 150 00:08:33,191 --> 00:08:34,500 And so I can't change that. 151 00:08:34,561 --> 00:08:37,091 Politics are present in every office. 152 00:08:37,120 --> 00:08:39,471 Not partisan politics, although maybe that too, depending on 153 00:08:39,471 --> 00:08:43,410 where you work, but just the political dynamics within an 154 00:08:43,421 --> 00:08:46,110 office, and who's got power and influence, and who is trying to 155 00:08:46,120 --> 00:08:49,671 take power and influence or hold onto it, all of that petty 156 00:08:49,671 --> 00:08:50,311 nonsense. 157 00:08:50,811 --> 00:08:55,711 Politics on a basic level is simply how decisions, 158 00:08:55,721 --> 00:08:59,431 relationships, and influence operate inside organizations. 159 00:08:59,931 --> 00:09:01,990 You can't avoid politics. 160 00:09:02,051 --> 00:09:04,811 One, I mean, you can try, but avoiding politics doesn't 161 00:09:04,811 --> 00:09:08,730 protect your career because you can just be on the receiving end 162 00:09:08,740 --> 00:09:13,441 of politics if you're not, um, conscious of how it's affecting 163 00:09:13,441 --> 00:09:15,971 the work that you're doing and your priorities and your mission 164 00:09:15,980 --> 00:09:17,660 and your role inside the organization. 165 00:09:18,030 --> 00:09:23,240 Understanding politics is what keeps you safe and what helps 166 00:09:23,240 --> 00:09:25,610 you to move forward. 167 00:09:26,110 --> 00:09:29,760 And a lot of women have this negative reaction to the word 168 00:09:29,760 --> 00:09:33,961 politics because it feels, um, one, it can feel a little 169 00:09:33,961 --> 00:09:35,221 threatening or a little dangerous. 170 00:09:35,270 --> 00:09:38,561 Two, we have this association with, like, mean girls in 171 00:09:38,561 --> 00:09:39,711 politics, right? 172 00:09:40,100 --> 00:09:43,691 That politics is a negative thing, and it's there to tear 173 00:09:43,691 --> 00:09:49,431 people down as opposed to it's just one of the natural dynamics 174 00:09:49,701 --> 00:09:51,221 of people living in community. 175 00:09:51,270 --> 00:09:55,461 Of when resources are shared and finite, politics is just a 176 00:09:55,461 --> 00:09:56,321 natural result. 177 00:09:56,821 --> 00:10:01,441 And I think there's also sometimes this allergic reaction 178 00:10:01,461 --> 00:10:07,780 to politics because we can associate influence, which is 179 00:10:07,801 --> 00:10:11,140 positive and a key to your long-term success, a key to your 180 00:10:11,150 --> 00:10:15,221 being able to advance the mission of your organization or 181 00:10:15,221 --> 00:10:18,900 your, smaller mission within the broader organization. 182 00:10:19,480 --> 00:10:23,000 People can sometimes conflate or confuse influence with 183 00:10:23,030 --> 00:10:25,910 manipulation And they are different things,. 184 00:10:26,270 --> 00:10:31,551 When you influence, you are bringing your expertise, your 185 00:10:31,571 --> 00:10:35,020 perspective, and the strength of the relationships that you have 186 00:10:35,041 --> 00:10:39,831 cultivated with people over time to bring about a positive result 187 00:10:40,181 --> 00:10:41,551 for the organization. 188 00:10:42,091 --> 00:10:45,280 Your influence in this context of what we're talking about 189 00:10:45,280 --> 00:10:50,561 today, you're using your influence not to purely benefit 190 00:10:50,561 --> 00:10:51,331 yourself. 191 00:10:51,600 --> 00:10:55,791 You're using your influence to advance a greater good, and 192 00:10:55,791 --> 00:11:00,660 you're doing so with honesty, integrity, and transparency. 193 00:11:01,051 --> 00:11:02,291 Maybe not full transparency. 194 00:11:02,291 --> 00:11:04,581 Remember, discretion always important, particularly the more 195 00:11:04,581 --> 00:11:05,461 senior you grow. 196 00:11:06,120 --> 00:11:11,081 But influence is aligned with honesty and integrity. 197 00:11:11,610 --> 00:11:14,280 Manipulation is the opposite. 198 00:11:14,390 --> 00:11:18,931 When you try to manipulate circumstances or people, you are 199 00:11:18,931 --> 00:11:21,350 withholding honesty. 200 00:11:21,600 --> 00:11:25,240 You are acting outside of integrity in order to get 201 00:11:25,240 --> 00:11:29,380 something that benefits you more than the benefit to other 202 00:11:29,380 --> 00:11:29,921 people. 203 00:11:30,221 --> 00:11:35,620 So there's both the dishonest element of manipulation and 204 00:11:35,620 --> 00:11:38,951 there is the self-serving element of manipulation that is 205 00:11:38,951 --> 00:11:41,010 not present if you're talking about influence. 206 00:11:41,510 --> 00:11:45,431 And so when you talk about office politics, look, 100%, 207 00:11:45,480 --> 00:11:48,850 eyes wide open, other people might be manipulating, and you 208 00:11:48,850 --> 00:11:50,360 don't control them, and so you just... 209 00:11:50,370 --> 00:11:53,961 you gotta be smart, see it, and walk away, right? 210 00:11:54,461 --> 00:12:00,120 But you get to show up and influence in ways that improve 211 00:12:00,130 --> 00:12:03,000 the organization or your part of the organization. 212 00:12:03,410 --> 00:12:05,971 That is one of your leadership responsibilities. 213 00:12:06,360 --> 00:12:06,910 Why? 214 00:12:07,181 --> 00:12:10,480 Because you have the expertise, you have the experience, you 215 00:12:10,480 --> 00:12:13,400 have the maturity and the wisdom and the insight that is 216 00:12:13,400 --> 00:12:15,760 necessary to inform sound decisions. 217 00:12:16,441 --> 00:12:21,620 And to not use those things to bring about a good decision Is 218 00:12:21,831 --> 00:12:22,681 negligent. 219 00:12:23,181 --> 00:12:26,360 Oh, sorry it sounds so judgy, but it's not cool. 220 00:12:26,860 --> 00:12:31,711 And so how do you succeed in office politics when you don't 221 00:12:31,711 --> 00:12:33,990 want to participate in office politics? 222 00:12:34,451 --> 00:12:38,441 I would say don't make it about politics, make it about 223 00:12:38,441 --> 00:12:39,350 relationships. 224 00:12:39,770 --> 00:12:42,140 Politics, again, is this idea of finite resources and you're 225 00:12:42,150 --> 00:12:44,760 fighting over I'm gonna win, so you have to lose, right? 226 00:12:44,760 --> 00:12:46,181 We see it as a zero sum. 227 00:12:46,880 --> 00:12:51,160 Relationships are positive sum, and in the strongest possible 228 00:12:51,171 --> 00:12:56,081 terms, the more you can build up and grow and cultivate 229 00:12:56,081 --> 00:13:01,091 relationships, the better your leadership experience will be. 230 00:13:01,451 --> 00:13:06,270 One, because people are generally good, and creating 231 00:13:06,270 --> 00:13:08,951 relationship, cultivating relationship with them is 232 00:13:09,020 --> 00:13:10,061 nurturing to you. 233 00:13:10,061 --> 00:13:12,900 So for all the stress you might feel as a leader in your 234 00:13:12,900 --> 00:13:17,071 different roles, having sincere personal relationships with your 235 00:13:17,071 --> 00:13:20,171 colleagues, being in relationship with them and 236 00:13:20,201 --> 00:13:24,630 seeing their needs and their aspirations and their goals and 237 00:13:24,640 --> 00:13:29,061 their priorities, and helping them achieve them, and allowing 238 00:13:29,061 --> 00:13:32,480 them to help you achieve your goals and priorities, that 239 00:13:32,480 --> 00:13:33,600 builds you up. 240 00:13:34,100 --> 00:13:38,581 That nurtures you and sustains you on a human level, which 241 00:13:38,620 --> 00:13:40,000 helps you avoid burnout. 242 00:13:40,041 --> 00:13:42,461 It feeds into the sustainability of leadership. 243 00:13:42,791 --> 00:13:45,841 And then when the finite resources come into play and 244 00:13:45,841 --> 00:13:48,941 there are decisions that have to be made, well, now you have all 245 00:13:48,941 --> 00:13:52,880 of that goodwill that you have cultivated over time for the 246 00:13:52,880 --> 00:13:58,201 sincere pleasure of being in relationship with people, and 247 00:13:58,201 --> 00:13:59,260 that will come back to help you. 248 00:13:59,760 --> 00:14:02,400 So you don't go about it being manipulative, and you- or 249 00:14:02,701 --> 00:14:08,240 insincere or, um, in a, like, a, you know, like, twirling your 250 00:14:08,250 --> 00:14:09,921 mustache kind of a way. 251 00:14:10,311 --> 00:14:13,030 You go about it just because human beings are cool, and 252 00:14:13,030 --> 00:14:15,910 getting to know them is fun, and being in relationship is 253 00:14:15,910 --> 00:14:19,610 rewarding and supportive, and we help each other out, and that's 254 00:14:19,610 --> 00:14:20,721 the only way we get through life. 255 00:14:21,221 --> 00:14:22,341 And then it, it will pay off. 256 00:14:22,821 --> 00:14:26,640 It just will So if you still feel like,"Oh, I don't know what 257 00:14:26,640 --> 00:14:26,880 to do with it. 258 00:14:27,551 --> 00:14:28,250 What do I do? 259 00:14:28,750 --> 00:14:31,431 I don't know how to be political." Again, just start 260 00:14:31,431 --> 00:14:32,390 building relationships. 261 00:14:32,421 --> 00:14:35,350 Take somebody out for coffee or just go have a chat with them, 262 00:14:35,650 --> 00:14:37,681 and then, you know, a couple weeks later ask a follow-up 263 00:14:37,681 --> 00:14:38,110 question. 264 00:14:38,130 --> 00:14:39,201 Just be a human being. 265 00:14:39,250 --> 00:14:39,941 That's step one. 266 00:14:40,441 --> 00:14:44,490 But a fundamental question is to ask yourself, do the people 267 00:14:44,490 --> 00:14:49,221 making decisions that affect my work, do they know my work? 268 00:14:49,260 --> 00:14:50,370 Do they know my value? 269 00:14:50,370 --> 00:14:51,571 Do they know my vision? 270 00:14:52,071 --> 00:14:54,211 What I do, my value, my vision. 271 00:14:54,221 --> 00:14:56,691 And if the answer is no, well then okay. 272 00:14:56,951 --> 00:14:58,941 Start having those conversations. 273 00:14:59,471 --> 00:15:01,850 Work with your mentor if you've got one about a specific 274 00:15:01,850 --> 00:15:05,921 strategy that you can use to help cultivate those 275 00:15:05,921 --> 00:15:09,110 relationships and nurture those relationships over time. 276 00:15:09,581 --> 00:15:12,091 And of course, hello, executive coach, this is what I do for a 277 00:15:12,091 --> 00:15:12,530 living. 278 00:15:12,541 --> 00:15:15,431 If you would like to book a gifted coaching call with me, we 279 00:15:15,431 --> 00:15:20,010 can spend 60 minutes and map out a strategy for you Okay. 280 00:15:20,510 --> 00:15:22,740 Long term time horizon. 281 00:15:23,240 --> 00:15:28,110 Politics is inevitable, and so let's find a way of engaging 282 00:15:28,120 --> 00:15:29,380 that feels good to you. 283 00:15:29,941 --> 00:15:31,900 I'm gonna recommend you ground that in relationships. 284 00:15:32,051 --> 00:15:33,811 It's influence, not manipulation. 285 00:15:34,311 --> 00:15:34,980 Okay, great. 286 00:15:35,380 --> 00:15:38,691 Still, there's way too much on my plate, and I'm fried every 287 00:15:38,691 --> 00:15:39,520 single day of my life. 288 00:15:39,581 --> 00:15:43,000 Let's talk about burnout prevention. 289 00:15:43,500 --> 00:15:46,171 Absolutely essential for sustainable leadership. 290 00:15:46,620 --> 00:15:52,270 You cannot lead effectively for decades if you operate as though 291 00:15:52,301 --> 00:15:54,471 every single week is an emergency. 292 00:15:54,971 --> 00:15:59,980 And I know we have had at this point about six years of 293 00:15:59,980 --> 00:16:04,500 dumpster fire after dumpster fire, so I know we are wired at 294 00:16:04,500 --> 00:16:07,441 this point for emergency. 295 00:16:07,941 --> 00:16:13,270 However, you recognize how drained you are and how frazzled 296 00:16:13,270 --> 00:16:17,620 you are and how anxious you are and how you have lost the joy 297 00:16:18,100 --> 00:16:23,620 for the work that you do, and you deserve better than that. 298 00:16:24,120 --> 00:16:26,321 So what does burnout look like? 299 00:16:26,360 --> 00:16:26,740 And here's... 300 00:16:26,740 --> 00:16:29,510 This is interesting because I figured everybody kind of knew 301 00:16:29,510 --> 00:16:33,360 what burnout was and, and they would know what the signs were, 302 00:16:33,671 --> 00:16:39,331 and what I have found is there are so many women who are, no 303 00:16:39,370 --> 00:16:45,480 joke, burned the freak out who do not self-identify as burned 304 00:16:45,480 --> 00:16:45,780 out. 305 00:16:46,280 --> 00:16:47,110 It's crazy to me. 306 00:16:47,581 --> 00:16:51,951 And so let me, let me give just a couple of symptoms of burnout 307 00:16:52,321 --> 00:16:56,030 so that if you recognize that you're burned out, great, then 308 00:16:56,041 --> 00:16:57,140 we can deal with that. 309 00:16:57,150 --> 00:16:59,461 But even if you don't recognize you're burned out, maybe you'll 310 00:16:59,461 --> 00:17:01,490 start to identify with some of these symptoms. 311 00:17:01,900 --> 00:17:06,631 And so a couple of indicators of burnout is, one, there is no 312 00:17:06,631 --> 00:17:07,060 joy. 313 00:17:07,681 --> 00:17:09,411 You can still operate at a high level. 314 00:17:09,411 --> 00:17:11,631 You can be burned out and still functioning. 315 00:17:11,721 --> 00:17:12,260 You can. 316 00:17:12,270 --> 00:17:12,580 You... 317 00:17:12,851 --> 00:17:16,770 It's not burnout if you're paralyzed on the sofa or s- in 318 00:17:16,770 --> 00:17:18,770 the hospital for adrenal failure. 319 00:17:19,280 --> 00:17:22,601 Those, those things can happen for sure, but you, you're burned 320 00:17:22,601 --> 00:17:24,471 out well before your body gets to that point. 321 00:17:24,971 --> 00:17:25,941 So there's no joy. 322 00:17:26,441 --> 00:17:28,250 You show up and you do what you have to do. 323 00:17:28,260 --> 00:17:30,931 You're functioning, you're getting the work done, but it 324 00:17:30,980 --> 00:17:33,760 either feels like you're going through the motions your brain 325 00:17:33,760 --> 00:17:35,830 has checked out, your body has checked out, and you're just 326 00:17:35,840 --> 00:17:37,471 functioning, you're not living. 327 00:17:38,161 --> 00:17:41,681 Or you're doing it because, uh, because you have... 328 00:17:41,711 --> 00:17:44,431 you feel you have to do it, but you're exhausted and you 329 00:17:44,441 --> 00:17:48,391 recognize the exhaustion, but tell yourself this is just the 330 00:17:48,391 --> 00:17:50,590 cost of operating at this level. 331 00:17:50,590 --> 00:17:51,980 This is just what it means, right? 332 00:17:51,980 --> 00:17:54,570 I'm going through perimenopause, so you blame all sorts of other 333 00:17:54,570 --> 00:17:59,080 things for, for the symptoms But a loss of joy, of feeling that 334 00:17:59,080 --> 00:18:01,221 kind of detachment from your work. 335 00:18:01,721 --> 00:18:05,951 It could show up You might be burned out because of work, but 336 00:18:05,951 --> 00:18:08,851 the symptoms might be showing up in your personal life, and that 337 00:18:08,851 --> 00:18:12,361 could be irritability, an inability to be present with 338 00:18:12,361 --> 00:18:13,290 your family. 339 00:18:13,611 --> 00:18:16,401 If you've got kids, being short-tempered with your kids. 340 00:18:16,401 --> 00:18:19,121 If you have a spouse, being short-tempered with your spouse. 341 00:18:19,611 --> 00:18:23,750 Just not wanting to do things socially because your bo- when 342 00:18:23,750 --> 00:18:26,891 you get stuck in fight or flight for so long and your body is 343 00:18:26,891 --> 00:18:30,661 overwhelmed, it, like, goes into bat down the hatches mode. 344 00:18:30,691 --> 00:18:34,740 And so your friend wants to go get a drink or wants to go to 345 00:18:34,760 --> 00:18:40,300 the museum or a play and, and you can't because um, you just 346 00:18:40,310 --> 00:18:47,270 do not have the gas in the tank for any unnecessary social or 347 00:18:47,270 --> 00:18:48,570 human interaction. 348 00:18:49,070 --> 00:18:52,351 Burnout can feel like the opposite. 349 00:18:52,471 --> 00:18:56,010 It can feel like I'm running at 100 miles an hour, and I can't 350 00:18:56,010 --> 00:18:56,711 slow down. 351 00:18:56,800 --> 00:19:00,221 And so maybe you do cram your calendar with social events and, 352 00:19:00,240 --> 00:19:03,310 and work events, and you're constantly going and the idea 353 00:19:03,310 --> 00:19:05,550 that you could just sit and spend an evening on the sofa 354 00:19:05,560 --> 00:19:10,010 relaxing or take a nap over the weekend, your body physically 355 00:19:10,010 --> 00:19:11,151 rejects that idea. 356 00:19:11,631 --> 00:19:16,730 You're so caught in that fight or flight that your body can't 357 00:19:16,730 --> 00:19:20,191 shift out of it into a regulated state. 358 00:19:20,691 --> 00:19:24,727 All of these are signs of burnout So what do you do? 359 00:19:24,797 --> 00:19:26,576 How do you avoid burnout? 360 00:19:26,606 --> 00:19:29,326 And then if you are burned out, how do you heal from burnout? 361 00:19:29,826 --> 00:19:32,916 Well, slowly is what I would say. 362 00:19:32,926 --> 00:19:38,317 You always, if you are dealing with anything like that, your 363 00:19:38,317 --> 00:19:41,467 nervous system being stuck in fight or flight, or really 364 00:19:41,467 --> 00:19:45,237 entrenched patterns and habits, you wanna move slow. 365 00:19:45,817 --> 00:19:47,717 I say this constantly. 366 00:19:47,727 --> 00:19:49,987 Your brain's number one job is to keep you alive. 367 00:19:50,017 --> 00:19:52,777 Well, right now, miserable as you are, you are alive. 368 00:19:53,067 --> 00:19:56,186 And so if you make big changes, your brain is gonna 369 00:19:56,186 --> 00:19:58,967 self-sabotage'cause it wants to bring you back to a place where 370 00:19:58,967 --> 00:20:02,777 it knows that you are breathing, your heart's pumping. 371 00:20:03,186 --> 00:20:05,366 Miserable, but you are alive. 372 00:20:05,737 --> 00:20:11,666 And so I would say start looking for opportunities to delegate. 373 00:20:11,707 --> 00:20:14,396 I've got a strategic leaders audit that you can download. 374 00:20:14,396 --> 00:20:17,176 It's a free resource on the website, womenleadwell.net 375 00:20:17,717 --> 00:20:20,037 /free-resources. 376 00:20:20,537 --> 00:20:23,136 And you can get that, and it will walk you through an 377 00:20:23,136 --> 00:20:26,646 assessment of everything that's on your calendar, everything on 378 00:20:26,646 --> 00:20:30,446 your to-do list right now to prioritize what is the most 379 00:20:30,446 --> 00:20:35,017 important work that only I can do, what's important work but 380 00:20:35,017 --> 00:20:38,166 that somebody else could do that you can delegate, what's 381 00:20:38,166 --> 00:20:40,717 important work that only I can do but I don't have to do it 382 00:20:40,717 --> 00:20:41,527 today. 383 00:20:41,626 --> 00:20:44,416 And so then you put it on the calendar for a future date, and 384 00:20:44,416 --> 00:20:47,287 you get it off your mental load, and, and it gives you a little 385 00:20:47,287 --> 00:20:48,186 bit of free space. 386 00:20:48,717 --> 00:20:51,176 And then what's the stuff that I'm doing that doesn't have real 387 00:20:51,176 --> 00:20:54,967 value to my mission, doesn't align with my values, I ain't 388 00:20:54,967 --> 00:20:57,497 even gonna delegate it'cause it's just not important, and 389 00:20:57,497 --> 00:20:58,477 then you ditch that. 390 00:20:58,487 --> 00:21:01,186 So it's the ditch, delegate, delay, do method. 391 00:21:01,567 --> 00:21:02,747 Strategic leaders audit. 392 00:21:03,067 --> 00:21:07,886 And I would start there because that gives you back hours on 393 00:21:07,886 --> 00:21:10,737 your calendar the day you do it. 394 00:21:11,237 --> 00:21:12,866 You get hours back that same week. 395 00:21:13,326 --> 00:21:18,396 And with that time, you do not fill that time with more work 396 00:21:18,896 --> 00:21:25,017 You take a walk, or you go to bed 15 minutes earlier. 397 00:21:25,057 --> 00:21:26,477 Again, no big changes. 398 00:21:26,977 --> 00:21:32,547 You use that time to do some of the deep thinking that you need 399 00:21:32,547 --> 00:21:34,866 to do to be effective in your position that you just don't 400 00:21:34,866 --> 00:21:36,396 have time to do in your schedule. 401 00:21:36,696 --> 00:21:38,257 And so I would start there. 402 00:21:38,326 --> 00:21:41,636 Start by clearing out the work that you're doing that's not 403 00:21:41,636 --> 00:21:45,086 productive and delegating where appropriate. 404 00:21:45,707 --> 00:21:47,787 Uh, and if you need help with that, inside the Women's 405 00:21:47,787 --> 00:21:51,436 Executive Leadership Lab I've got a whole module on effective 406 00:21:51,436 --> 00:21:56,376 delegation and how to do it in a way that improves team 407 00:21:56,376 --> 00:22:00,436 performance and grows team members so that they become more 408 00:22:00,436 --> 00:22:00,896 effective. 409 00:22:01,196 --> 00:22:01,886 I'm pretty proud of it. 410 00:22:01,886 --> 00:22:02,636 I think it's pretty good. 411 00:22:03,027 --> 00:22:06,067 Or you can always reach out, and we can have a coaching call and 412 00:22:06,067 --> 00:22:09,047 talk through your options for how to bring things off your 413 00:22:09,047 --> 00:22:09,567 calendar. 414 00:22:10,067 --> 00:22:13,247 But critical also, and you know, is setting boundaries. 415 00:22:13,277 --> 00:22:15,576 I've got some episodes on boundary setting and how to do 416 00:22:15,576 --> 00:22:18,136 that effectively that you can check out if you are interested, 417 00:22:18,747 --> 00:22:23,207 but the whole point is slowly, summer months are great for 418 00:22:23,207 --> 00:22:27,807 this, you've got roughly 90 days until Labor Day, and so start to 419 00:22:28,136 --> 00:22:33,826 just recalibrate where you put your time and your energy. 420 00:22:34,326 --> 00:22:40,567 And by doing that, you start to give your body little moments 421 00:22:41,057 --> 00:22:45,507 where it feels regulated and safe at the same time'cause when 422 00:22:45,507 --> 00:22:48,125 you spend so much of your time dysregulated, when you regulate 423 00:22:48,145 --> 00:22:51,644 at the beginning, it feels unsafe'cause your body's not 424 00:22:51,644 --> 00:22:53,194 used to it, right? 425 00:22:53,515 --> 00:22:59,224 So slow moments of safety, and then you just grow the moment. 426 00:22:59,234 --> 00:23:02,394 It goes from 60 seconds, to 90 seconds, to three minutes, to 427 00:23:02,394 --> 00:23:04,045 five minutes, to 20 minutes, right? 428 00:23:04,464 --> 00:23:06,684 And you've got the summer to work on that. 429 00:23:07,184 --> 00:23:10,765 And a fundamental question to ask yourself is this: Are you 430 00:23:10,765 --> 00:23:16,704 building a team that depends on you or a team that succeeds 431 00:23:16,714 --> 00:23:17,595 because of you? 432 00:23:18,095 --> 00:23:20,924 You don't wanna be building a team that relies on you. 433 00:23:21,424 --> 00:23:21,464 That's... 434 00:23:21,464 --> 00:23:24,095 You're not setting them up for success, and you are absolutely 435 00:23:24,095 --> 00:23:25,674 not setting yourself up for success. 436 00:23:26,115 --> 00:23:31,105 You do want to build a team that succeeds because of you, because 437 00:23:31,105 --> 00:23:34,174 you equip them, you empower them, you train them, you build 438 00:23:34,194 --> 00:23:37,555 them up, and then allow them to do work. 439 00:23:38,105 --> 00:23:41,585 And when you have that team, when you have that dynamic in 440 00:23:41,585 --> 00:23:46,724 place, the team doesn't depend on you, but the team succeeds 441 00:23:46,734 --> 00:23:47,964 because of you. 442 00:23:48,065 --> 00:23:51,174 Once you've built that up, you are much more effective at 443 00:23:51,174 --> 00:23:54,835 dealing with burnout, or even if you're not burned out, you are 444 00:23:54,835 --> 00:23:58,085 much more effective at leading sustainably for decades at a 445 00:23:58,085 --> 00:23:58,404 time. 446 00:23:58,904 --> 00:24:04,234 Okay, so if you wanna be an effective leader for the long 447 00:24:04,234 --> 00:24:07,884 haul while enjoying your leadership experience, right? 448 00:24:07,884 --> 00:24:11,825 The tagline for Women Lead Well, joyful, sustainable, authentic 449 00:24:11,845 --> 00:24:12,545 leadership. 450 00:24:12,845 --> 00:24:17,134 If you want that, it takes more than just talent and hard work. 451 00:24:17,565 --> 00:24:21,835 It takes the perspective, it takes taking that long-term view 452 00:24:21,855 --> 00:24:24,755 of your career and where you're putting your time and energy. 453 00:24:25,424 --> 00:24:29,194 It takes understanding the political landscape without 454 00:24:29,194 --> 00:24:33,174 compromising your values, being human about it, and it takes 455 00:24:33,174 --> 00:24:37,295 protecting your energy so your success is sustainable. 456 00:24:37,795 --> 00:24:40,285 A successful career is not built in a year. 457 00:24:40,295 --> 00:24:41,904 It's not built in five years. 458 00:24:42,194 --> 00:24:45,755 It's built over thousands of decisions that you make. 459 00:24:45,755 --> 00:24:49,724 It's built over thousands of days when you add them up over 460 00:24:49,724 --> 00:24:54,664 time, and the leaders who thrive, they are the ones who 461 00:24:54,664 --> 00:24:58,444 learn, who adapt, who continue showing up with purpose and 462 00:24:58,444 --> 00:25:04,285 confidence and intention thousands of days in a row. 463 00:25:04,785 --> 00:25:06,815 And so I'm gonna leave you with this question. 464 00:25:06,825 --> 00:25:11,964 I want you to ask yourself, if you continue leading exactly as 465 00:25:11,964 --> 00:25:15,174 you are today, where are you gonna be in five years' time? 466 00:25:15,674 --> 00:25:16,845 Is it where you wanna be? 467 00:25:17,345 --> 00:25:22,265 And then what is one change that you could make today that would 468 00:25:22,275 --> 00:25:25,384 help you create an even stronger future? 469 00:25:25,884 --> 00:25:28,615 And if you would like someone to have that conversation with, 470 00:25:29,085 --> 00:25:30,404 please reach out to me. 471 00:25:30,444 --> 00:25:34,324 I'm at womenleadwell across all social platforms, and I would 472 00:25:34,324 --> 00:25:35,423 love to chat with you. 473 00:25:35,923 --> 00:25:39,263 Now, if this episode spoke to you, I would love for you to 474 00:25:39,263 --> 00:25:40,554 share it with a friend. 475 00:25:40,913 --> 00:25:44,663 We need more women leading from alignment, not adrenaline. 476 00:25:45,324 --> 00:25:47,743 And if you haven't already, please make sure to like and 477 00:25:47,743 --> 00:25:50,153 subscribe so you don't miss next week's drop. 478 00:25:50,653 --> 00:25:55,054 Remember, joyful, sustainable, and authentic leadership is 479 00:25:55,054 --> 00:25:59,144 possible, and you deserve to enjoy every minute of it. 480 00:25:59,644 --> 00:26:03,913 Until next time, I'm Becky Hamm, and this is Joyfully 481 00:26:03,973 --> 00:26:04,794 Unstoppable.