Rest, Resilience, and the Science of Sustainable Success with Khalia Collier

Speaker A: I took on a crazy leap of Faith at 23 to buy a professional basketball team. And what I thought leadership looked like was this hustle grind mentality of one, uh, hundred hours a week running as quick as I could is what it felt like trying to accomplish as many things as possible. And I think as I've matured in my career of bringing people together, building teams, empowering others, and really looking for ways to strengthen not just short term success, but really building for long term success. It's evolving with more of a slowing down to speed up in strategic and intentional areas of where I see opportunity and growth.

Speaker B: Leadership looks powerful from the outside, but behind closed doors, the pressure is real, the decisions are heavy and most leaders have nowhere to talk about it. The boardroom moments that keep you up at night, the decisions that affect thousands of people. The quiet questions many leaders carry but rarely say out loud. I'm Melissa Dawn Simpkins, EdTech. Ah, founder of athLeadership, CEO of Velvetsuite and the C Suite. Confidant to leaders performing at their highest level as they navigate pressure and change. For more than two decades, I've, uh, built global leadership platforms and advised executives and elite performers across business and sport in high stakes environments. If you're here, you're probably someone people count on. That's why I created C Suite Confidential. Grounded in neuroscience and the elite athletic mindset. Each episode features candid conversations with CEOs, talent, leaders, athletes, uh, high performers who understand both demands and the privilege of leadership. Most leadership conversations focus on strategy. This one focuses on conditioning. If you're leading in the arena and you want to do it with strength, clarity and heart, you are in the right place. This is C Suite Confidential, where uh, leaders come to strengthen the mindset required to perform when it matters most. Hello and welcome back to the show. My name is Melissa. If I haven't met you, thanks for joining in. There is a thought that keeps ringing in the back of my head and that is excellence is not a destination, it's a degree. It's something that you and I earn every single day when we choose to show up consistently over time, putting in the work privately to show up successfully publicly. And today our, uh, guest on the show is Kalia Collier. She is vice President, Chief of Staff of basketball operations for the Dallas Mavericks. Kalia operates at the intersection of elite sport, business culture and ownership. She not, uh, only has a significant role at the Mavs. She has led professional teams, built winning cultures, defied odds early, and now supports basketball operations at the highest level. Her career reflects something athletes know very well. You have to work really hard to make it look easy, and maybe you do as well. So today we're talking about the cost of elite leadership, the conditioning that's required to sustain excellence, and what it really takes to lead when expectations are high and the margins are thin. We're going to have real conversation inside the arena. Let's go. Kaliyah, welcome to the show today.

Speaker A: Thank you very much for having me.

Speaker B: Melissa, you are someone who has impressed me from day one when I met you, and you have so many wins, so many amazing accomplishments in your career. I want to start with what leadership looks like for you at this stage of your life and career.

Speaker A: Leadership has evolved for me, and thank you. It has been quite the journey. I like to think that my leadership journey has been slow and steady. And then you look at my resume, and one could maybe beg to differ a little bit, but it's definitely evolved for me. I think starting out, I took on a crazy leap of Faith at 23 to buy a professional basketball team. And what I thought leadership looked like, uh, was this hustle, grind mentality of 100 hours a week running as quick as I could is what it felt like trying to accomplish as many things as possible. And I think as I've matured in my career of bringing people together, building teams, empowering others, and really looking for ways to strengthen, um, not just short term success, but really building for long term success. It's evolved with more of a slowing down to speed up in strategic and intentional areas of where I see opportunity and growth. And I've cultivated what I felt like started with me, and I built a team with me to be able to help me fine tune, um, the areas where I know I needed to grow and the things that I don't enjoy that others enjoy. So it's been an incredible journey, and I feel like I just. I feel different.

Speaker B: You've had some history, and so let's. I want to go back to 23. I mean, to go into ownership at 23. Take us back to that moment. And what were your own expectations of yourself in that moment?

Speaker A: Wow. My own expectations were to defy odds. I think it started off as kind of, you know what people didn't think that could be accomplished. It always seems impossible until it's done. And taking on that weight of. And almost kind of carrying a chip on my shoulders, being like, I'll show you. And with that every single day, I was determined to be better than I was yesterday, to know every ounce, every Bit of information to do my due diligence, to become an expert in the space, to ensure that I did everything possible within my control and power to be successful. And then I let the stars align and let God do what he does best. And I felt like that brought in my family, my friends, the community. Um, I learned how to assemble a team that ended up being an incredible product for the community to be able to experience at a high level. It was learning all of the things that I didn't know that I was going to learn along the way, but I knew that I wouldn't. I wouldn't be a roadblock to myself.

Speaker B: Tell the audience a little bit about what that project was, that initiative that allowed you to bring everything together. Give us a picture of that.

Speaker A: So Melissa was crazy right out of undergrad. Um, I played basketball and golf in college. I felt like I always wanted to be in sports, but I thought I was going to be actually an attorney, still work in the sports and entertainment space. I shifted into the automotive industry while I was in college my senior year. And upon, upon graduation, I got this opportunity to learn about the St. Louis surge. It was at the time, a women's semi professional basketball team. I was going on as a supportive friend, and then I became a team manager. And then it was like, well, they needed a practice player one day, and I loved a kid that I still got a little bit of game. And, uh, I played one game with the Surge, and I was like, this is an opportunity to take something built and grow it in a city that I never experienced professional women's basketball. And I had this crazy idea to buy the basketball team. And the ownership group at that time said yes. So In May of 2011, at 23 years old, I bought the St. Louis Surge. Uh, my first phone call went to my best friend and I said, we need a business plan. And she said, what did you do? And I said, I bought a basketball team. And from that moment forward, I knew that I was going to do literally everything within my power to be successful. And if it's one thing that I do know how to do incredibly well is build teams and surround myself with great people that have a shared goal and vision to also want to accomplish something bigger than themselves.

Speaker B: That is a huge feat. And you had foresight to see where women's basketball is today. I mean, you were early in and you were an owner. I mean, so there was a lot of obstacles I'm sure that you faced. Maybe talk to us about anytime a leader steps into something new, how do you approach the obstacles, and how do you turn it around into an opportunity that can become successful?

Speaker A: I've truly always seen obstacles as opportunities, Melissa. Uh, like, I see something that presents as a challenge, and I see an opportunity to overcome and get through that challenge. And I think with adversity and being uncomfortable, it really shows you what you're made out of. And even on the hard days, once you are able to get through obstacle after obstacle after obstacle, you just build resilience along the way. And I think some of us are wired with a little bit more than others. And I think the other part of that is that it's a muscle. And when you've gone through hard things and you've made it through bad days, you prove to yourself, and it gives you confidence that you can get through another hard day. And then you learn how to channel that energy. And I think a huge part of that space for me is now learning to be not just externally regulated, but internally regulated. And that's what I really focused on. When I do experience an obstacle, it's like, all right, assess the situation. What are the things I can control? What's the best and worst outcome? Move forward.

Speaker B: It's spoken like a true athlete. It's the mindset that you've captured, and I want to dive into. Something that you and I have talked about before is that when you are a high performer, particularly at your level, you have such regulation. Sometimes people think it just. It's easy. It just comes that way. You make it look so good and make it look so easy. What has been the cost for you of making it look easy?

Speaker A: Uh, that's one of my favorite Geno quotes, is that you have to work really, really, really hard to make it look easy. And there are costs, there are compromises. There are, uh, sacrifices that come with that type of work ethic. And if you're lucky, that means that you spent less time with friends, that you were sacrificing, going out and having a good time, and your head has been down. And then you also have to make sure that it doesn't affect your health. You have to incorporate balance of being able to listen to your body to say, okay, I've been going really, really hard, burning both ends of the candle. It's time for me to rest and recharge. And that's something that I learned along the way of, like, yeah, I work really, really hard, and I do make it look easy. And sometimes too easy that people underestimate the hard work that goes into it because they don't see the blood, the sweat, the tears, the long nights, the sleepless nights. And being in the office when before the sun was up and after the sun goes down, there are. It has some lonely moments in there, too, because people rarely check on their strong friends. And so you almost build this degree of armor that, like, you're built for anything. And I really kind of almost took on, like, this Superwoman Persona. Like, I have a Superman tattoo. And I was like, yeah, I have superpowers. I don't need to sleep. I don't need sleep. You know, you hear people be like, ah, uh, sleep when I die. Or you speed up. Your death is perspective. So with that, uh, it's definitely evolved for me, but I do, and I mean this to my core, for people think that you can accomplish greatness between the hours of 9 to 5, you are simply wrong. You will have to make sacrifices. There will have to be compromise, and you have to assess what those things mean for yourself, your family at that time. And you got to be okay with

Speaker B: that, uh, in your journey. You said it brilliantly, right? You've got to make the hard calls. What are some of the hard calls that you've had to make for yourself and for your team? Leading at the Mavs?

Speaker A: The Mavs have challenged me, um, in a completely different way, in a different level of scale. Everything that I did with the St. Louis surge prepared me for where I am today. Everything I did with St. Louis City, SC, my world, academia, being an entrepreneur, um, like, I've had all of these roles that's prepared me for what I would encounter and encompass some of the things of the unknown. And I think how the shift for that with the Mavericks has been taking on new departments, building new teams, incorporating new processes, creating new communication channels, creating systems in place that not only can be sustained in a season, but can be sustained over seasons and, uh, perfected along the way, hiring and attracting talent that's in it for the right reasons to where. When you're coming into a team environment, you have to buy into the collective goals and the vision that's been set by leadership, um, particularly ownership. And we've been amidst m among a tremendous amount of change. I'm in my fourth season with the Mavericks, and every season has looked drastically different. And what we do know is change is never ending. People say, oh, I just hate change. It's like, people will tell me that they hate getting up in the morning. Well, God willing, you get up every morning, you can't be mad every morning. And so when things Change, uh, you make the adjustments and you assess the lay of the land to be able to see, okay, what's immediately in front of me, what can I forecast down the line, and what do I just need to focus on in my day to day?

Speaker B: You're in, uh, an industry that from the outside, people say, oh, you don't have problems with talent. Everybody wants to come and work in professional basketball, everybody wants to work for the Mavs, but you have a standard. And so how have you been able to build a standard in terms of the culture and ensuring that everyone is operationally sound and moving forward? What are some of the rules of the game that you have in terms of the work that you do every day?

Speaker A: I have my own leadership standard. Like, I have a standard of excellence that I operate by and I lead by my actions. That's seen in my day to day work. And so I think with my direct reports and the teams that I oversee, they embody that because they also see it and they know what the expectations are. And then that's a layer to it. And then you have the leadership that's setting the tone for that vision. And it's ownership, leadership, making sure all your leadership is set. And then everyone down from your players all the way up understand what the collective goal and the mission is. And so I can't be like, well, these are my set goals and only my goals. No, I have my individual things that I want to be able to accomplish, but it's always congruent with what we're trying to accomplish as a collective. That's what I get excited about. You can't have a solo mission in a team sport. And when you buy into it's a collective mission, you're going to accomplish your goals along the way anyway. And that's something I really do take, uh, a lot of joy and pride in, is seeing where my staff wants to improve. I have everyone come in like, you got to give me your goals. I won't set your goals for you. Now, if you come up with three, I might give you a couple more. But I want to see where, where you're wanting to push yourself, where you're wanting to stretch yourself. And complacency just won't be an option if you want to be steady. Everyone doesn't want to climb to the next title, and everyone doesn't want to get multiple zeros added to their paycheck. Well, some do, but everyone knows with more money comes more responsibility. Then how do you plan to continue to be an expert in your Space and really push yourself to where you know you've done the best possible job you can. And if you're good with that, I'm good with that.

Speaker B: Before we jump back into the conversation, I wanted to share something with you. Everything on this show is really based on one belief, and that's leaders aren't born, they're built. We are built through change, pressure, and the moments that demand more from us than we think we have to give. And that's why I'm so excited to share with you the heartbeat behind this show and the movement. It's called athletership. The elite athletic mindset. How to lead under pressure and perform when it counts. This is a movement that's not about becoming an athlete. It's about learning how to build the mental and emotional conditioning elite athletes activate when the stakes are the highest. It's grounded in neuroscience, and it helps unlock how you become more steady, more purposeful, resilient, and prepared to be. Be your best when it matters most. If you're navigating change, dealing with uncertainty, building something meaningful, or stepping into a season that's demanding more from you, I invite you to join us@athleadershipmovement.com now back to the episode. We talk a lot about on this show, being in the arena, which is the high stakes, high pressure decisions in your world. What does that look like? And how do you navigate those high pressure moments?

Speaker A: You hear people say pressure is a privilege. Right. And I try to channel that, like these decisions and opportunities to have a seat at the table, let alone to be a woman, a black woman, in this space where you don't see enough of us. I take it with, uh, great pride of knowing that I've come in that room fully prepared, I've done my due diligence. I know all the key players in the room, and I'm making the best decision that's not only going to be in line with the organization, but that's for the greater good. And that has the best interest of the organization to be successful. Top of mind.

Speaker B: Do you feel the pressure of that responsibility? You said something that is very important for, I think our audience to recognize. There are very few women and women of color who sit in the seat that you do in the Professional Basketball Association. Right. There's very few. Uh, there are some, but you're in the minority. When anyone is in that position and they have that place where they are the ones that are in the minority in a situation, how do you carry that? Does it even matter to you at all.

Speaker A: It, uh, absolutely matters. I think for myself, I know the responsibility. I also know that it's incredibly important for me not to be the only one that looks like me in places, so I ensure that I'm not in. Building teams that are truly balanced means attracting, retaining the best talent. And that also incorporates black women and women of color and diverse backgrounds. And so when I look at that as an opportunity to ensure that when someone else sees me, they know that someone else is capable, competent, confident, and has all the abilities that one sometimes tend to second guess when you may see us, that no, no one that looks like us got here by accident. We're exceptionally talented.

Speaker B: Very well said. Let's talk about one of your favorite topics, which is the mama mentality. I know we've talked about that. I heard something recently that I want to get your take on. It was a clip on Instagram, and it was this guy, and he was saying that the mama mentality is great, but it's played out because people are not honest about how hard they've worked and what they're sacrificing in their physical body and that we have a balance with that. Right? We can't just grind our way to success. Any thoughts or experience shares on that journey for you?

Speaker A: Listen, uh, Kobe is my ultimate legend. Anyone that knows me knows that I've loved Kobe Bryant. His mentality, how he just represented greatness and excellence. I have, you know, an original. I'm looking at Kobe's jersey at the corner of my eye, and I can say that all of his hard work and the mentality of what he instilled in athletes absolutely exist to be able to get to levels of not just greatness, but being elite. And I can tell you that grinding your way to success is not sustainable. It's not sustainable for our bodies. And unfortunately, I learned that the hard way. I have two tattoos now that says grateful and mindful. I'm incredibly mindful of my day to day. I try to be present. I try to be mindful of my body. You get a terrible bout of pneumonia, and you realize that things can change drastically at the drop of a dime. And it makes you have a tremendous perspective and gratitude for life. And that's not at the expense of myself. I will not just work and work and work and work and work and forget that. Oh, you know what I have to do? I have to eat today. I didn't drink any water. I cheated, uh, on my workout routine. I haven't talked to my mom and dad. You become this this person that is part of this grind culture. And you lose out on the moments that are in front of us every single day. And I won't do that anymore. I don't do that to myself. And what I have learned, Melissa, is I'm still successful. And not only am I still successful, I feel better, I'm happier, I have more balance, I haven't missed a beat, I haven't dropped a project, and I continue to exceed expectations, all while still caring for myself. And I don't think I factored those two together for a very long time.

Speaker B: I love your vulnerability and transparency. This is a space for high performers, for elite minded leaders. And sometimes in my own experience, I have neglected the patterns that to that point have compromised the things that I said. It was most valuable what I was pursuing, right in the tension of pursuing the good thing, I didn't realize I was creating bad patterns. So you just walked us through your own journey. For those who are listening, who are hearing that, and it's like, ooh, she's talking to me. I feel that for me, what are some immediate or just simple conditioning habits that people can take to start taking their life back from that grind mentality?

Speaker A: I took a pretty significant shift. You know, I've had executive coaching, uh, that's helped incorporate balance, self love, you know, reading the book the Body Keeps Score. Reading Rest is Resistance. And at first, I will tell you, rest is resistance felt incredibly repetitive to me because I was like, yeah, I get it, I get it, I get it. But for someone that's been ingrained to think rest is weakness, that you do not have time to slow down, that you must keep going, that you have to be as productive, as efficient as possible. No, for high performers like us, we need to hear that it is okay to rest. It is a different level of productivity. Resting gives you the ability to recharge, to be even better than you were yesterday. And you know what really appreciates it? Your mind, body and spirit. They're like, oh, they do care about me in here. And I think being able to talk to our inner selves and having fun, people kid, they actually think I'm like, really serious. And I get that a lot. I'm like, man, clear, you're so serious. And I'm like, no, I'm actually really funny. It's having, allowing joy to come through. Uh, we've worked so hard and you reach these pinnacles and we get to these titles and it's like, damn, the least we could do is enjoy it.

Speaker B: Come on. I mean, that's why we did it, right? To enjoy.

Speaker A: That's why we did it. To enjoy it and to celebrate it with others and to bring other people with us. To have that same level of joy, that same level of accomplishment, to have everyone win together. There is no better feeling than winning. And winning comes in all shapes and fashions, depending on what you deem a success.

Speaker B: Yes. You're talking to us. I love it. I love it. This is such a valuable conversation, and this is all about real talk. We can't have other places because we need the reinforcement of what you're saying. And I know for me, I love the physicality of working out. It helps me decompress, it helps me release the dopamines. All those things you work out regularly as well. So tell us what physical training has done for you that's helped you in your performance and scheme at work and in other areas of your life.

Speaker A: It's interesting. My fitness journey, uh, is like interval training. Some weeks I go real hard, some weeks not so much. So having more of a consistent schedule has been something I've been really working towards. Instead of, you know when you get an 8 o' clock meeting and you're like, oh, man, well, it looks like I'm gonna have to skip the gym of. I've been really restructuring my time to have more consistency because the data shows when we work out those endorphins that are released, we're happier, we feel better, we look good, and all those things are true for myself. And so I'm really good about. I will never go months without working out, let alone weeks. But I would like to get in a better structure of, uh, three to four minimal times a week to where I'm doing something that's active. And I've started to incorporate that, which I'm really proud of. And now Melissa is not even just the gym. Like, I'm taking dance classes. I said I needed a hobby, right? I've been talking about having a hobby for years. And yes, I played golf, but golf kind of felt like work to me. And I felt like I was in a very corporate setting. And I'm typically around a lot of men, so I wanted more women to be able to golf with. And I don't really have that in the setting that I'm in. So I was like, what can I do that's outside of the box? So I started doing Latin dance and salsa, merengue and machata. And I'm like, over here doing this on the weekends, uh, in the weekday and it's great exercise.

Speaker B: I know. So when's your next class?

Speaker A: I had a class last night, 7 o'. Clock. Next class will be Monday at 6 o'. Clock. And it's just taking time in the evenings. Like I have an 82 regular game season I'm not going to be able to make. Every Monday I travel, uh, on the road quite a bit. But the days that I can keep it on my schedule, I absolutely make the commitment and I really enjoy it. So alongside physical fitness to me is mental fitness. I consider it my mental fitness of being in therapy. I'm in therapy every week. It gives me a confidant in a space and I do executive coaching on top of that. And I think it's a space for me to be vulnerable, but to learn, grow, improve in all the areas that I want to improve personally and professionally.

Speaker B: What I hear from you and what our audience is deserving is someone who sees their brand value as a package and that you care for every aspect of your, your value.

Speaker A: You have to.

Speaker B: And tell us a little bit about how that mentality became a reality for you. Are there things that you practice daily that you would say are keys to your success that maybe people don't know from the outside that you do?

Speaker A: Uh, that's a good one. I think people probably don't know that I spend two to three hours minimal every week on personal and professional development space to where I'm having the vulnerable conversations, I'm having the uncomfortable conversations, I'm challenging myself, myself. I'm looking at myself through a very raw lens of self awareness and uh, really being open and receptive to the things that I want to continue to change, make adjustments, evolve, get better at and be proud of that. I have done that I am doing. And I think the other part to that is really just resting. It's very easy. Just when people see people who have titles or you work in a respective sports league, whatever the industry that you're in, they always say you're just so busy. You're just so busy. Yeah, uh, absolutely. I am incredibly busy. But I'm also very intentional. I'm very intentional. And with that it's become moments of incorporating gratitude. Having meditating now more than I ever have. I'm not a long meditator. Like I'm not gonna sit here and be like, yeah, I'm just zoning out for an hour at 30 minutes. But I got a good five to seven minutes in me to where it's just releasing the day, it's taking deep breaths and every Day I breathe. Every day I breathe. I'm very intentional about just regulating myself. I know when I get anxious, I know when I get nervous. And how do you center yourself? I've gotten some new techniques, like wiggling my toes, wiggling my butt, which makes you giggle. It's very funny, actually. Like, whatever mood you thought you were in, you try to do it, and you're like, it's very hard to keep a straight face. And you could be looking at the most intense report, had the most intense hard day. And then it just. It breaks up the monogamy of how your day's been going to get you to shift your perspective. So these are coaching tricks and techniques that I've learned by having that level of development and investment in myself that I've incorporated every day.

Speaker B: You're so in line with what I know. A lot of peak performing athletes do. They have folks who are taking care of every element of their development. As a professional athlete, what can executives learn? I mean, you just walked us through some amazing examples of just practical things that you're doing to condition yourself. But are there other things that executives can learn from the elite athletic mindset that will help them be better performers?

Speaker A: Absolutely. It's also manifesting how you talk to yourself is incredibly important. You get players, and every player is different of how they've gotten to elite performance, of their levels of greatness. But what you do see is structure. You see routine. You see an unwavering belief in self. You see a tremendous amount of confidence, and you get to confidence because of repetition. That means you've done the work. I've been in the same position. This isn't new to me. And if it's a new scenario, I'm already ready for because I'm prepared for it, because I've done the work. So that same executive is approaching it with the same mindset. All right, new challenge. I've been here before. It's nothing I can't accomplish. So there is levels to the obstacles, the challenges, the experiences that we're put in. But what we do know is that we're prepared. You wouldn't be in these seats if you're not. And I've never met a professional athlete that didn't earn where they are. And I don't care how good or great or if they're coming off the bench. They are exceptionally talented, and they had unwavering, um, confidence in themselves to say that they would defy odds to beat the person to their left and right to be exactly where they are today. And the second you start to doubt that is when you get in a slippery slope.

Speaker B: Gave us the formula, you gave us the blueprint. Tell us what's next for you.

Speaker A: What's next is I always I'm in an ambitiously content space. I'm not searching, I'm not looking. If something presents itself to where I feel like it's incredibly compelling, it's aligned with what I foresee in my future, of being able to forecast and manifest for myself. I'm enjoying exactly where I am today, uh, the challenges that I'm presented with on a daily basis. I also enjoy making hard things look easy. And I'm now okay with saying that they are hard. No two things can be true. And so where I am today is. Before, I prided myself on catching every single thing that was thrown to me. And now every once in a while, I catch it and I throw it back. No, not today. Or I catch it and I'll put it down because it's not something I want to contend with. Um, it's a different level of prioritization. So where I am is focused on myself, of being internally regulated, not just presenting calm, cool and collected, but feeling calm, cool and collected. And I think what the universe has an incredible way of doing is aligning yourself where exactly where supposed to be. And I'm embracing all of that beautiful.

Speaker B: No better words to say to end this show. I thank you so much for being on C Suite Confidential. You have given us real talk that we couldn't find anywhere else, and I'm excited to see you continue to soar.

Speaker A: Melissa, thank you so much for having me on an incredible platform. You are inspiring, you are motivating and you're creating and have created something that will continue to inspire and motivate others. And we need more of it. And it's positive energy that's contagious. So I really appreciate you thinking of me to even be on more to come.

Speaker B: Thank you. Thanks for joining C Suite Confidential. These conversations are designed to help you through pressure, navigating change, and becoming stronger in the moments that matter most. If today's episode resonated with you, be sure to subscribe on your your preferred podcast platform so you never miss a conversation. Please share, review, share the episode and if you want to go deeper, I'd invite you to explore my new book, athleadership and join the athleadership movement@athleadershipmovement. Ah.com there you'll gain access to the book insights and conversations designed to help you be your, uh, best. Best when it matters most. Until next time, remember this. Leaders aren't born, they're built.