168 | Delegate Without Feeling Guilty

Rika Whelan: How much are you carrying right now that was never actually yours to carry? I'm not talking about your role. I'm not talking about your responsibility. I'm talking about the extra weight, the emotional weight, the mental load, the things you've taken on. Because it felt easier to just do it yourself. It felt kinder, it felt quicker, and it felt less complicated. And somewhere along the line, you've become the person who carries everything. And now you're tired. You may be a little bit frustrated or maybe a lot, and maybe even a little resentful, but you don't want to admit it. So today we're going to talk about delegation, but not just strategy behind delegation. We're talking about delegation without guilt because you are not called to carry everything. And the longer you do, the heavier leadership becomes. Let's do it. Do you wish that you could lead

Rika Whelan: your team in a way that honors and glorifies God? Are you struggling to overcome self doubt as a leader and have a desire to be more confident in your role? Welcome to the Woman of Faith in Leadership podcast. I'm Rika, and for the last decade I've experienced my fair share of managing challenging employees and teams in middle management leadership roles. I committed my leadership journey to God and it changed everything. And I'm ready to share everything I've learned with you now.

Rika Whelan: Uh, if you're ready to lead your

Rika Whelan: team in a way that honors God, grab that notebook and pen and don't forget your chai latte. And let's dive in.

Rika Whelan: Now, before we dive in, if delegation feels uncomfortable because it often leads to awkward and unclear conversations, I want to point you to my difficult conversation script pack. Because one of the biggest barriers is in delegation or to delegation, is not knowing how to clearly communicate expectations without feeling harsh or over explaining. This pack gives you practical scripts for real leadership moments so you can delegate with clarity, not guilt. You can grab the script back by Simply going to womanofaithinleadership.com conversation. Here's what most Christian women in leadership don't. You don't realize you're not struggling with delegation because you lack the skill to delegate. You're struggling because of what delegation feels like. It feels like I'm putting more pressure on them. I should just do it myself. It's quicker if I handle it. I don't want to burden them. And what if they don't do it properly? And underneath all of that is something much deeper, a sense of responsibility that goes beyond your role because you feel responsible for the outcomes for people's emotions, the team's success, the standards that are held, the harmony of the team, and basically everything else. But I want to tell you a, uh, truth. Spill the tea. Overcarrying is not leadership. It's actually misaligned responsibility. And misaligned responsibility leads to burnout, frustration, lack of team growth, and quiet exhaustion. You're not helping your team by carrying everything. In actual fact, you're limiting them. Now let's talk about how you can make some simple shifts, four simple shifts in your leadership so that you can delegate with clarity, confidence and peace. And I want to say, before I share these four simple shifts with you, delegation is part of your role. Your team should be expectant of you to delegate to them. If there's no expectation within your team that you delegate to them, then 100% it's been miscommunicated and there's a misalignment between the expectation versus reality. So let's have a look at these four simple shifts that you can make. Number one, separate responsibility from ownership. You are responsible for leadership. You're responsible for your role. But what you are not responsible for is doing everything, including their jobs and their roles. They've been appointed for their role. You've been appointed for your role. Delegation means you retain oversight, but you release ownership of the task to the person who should be having ownership of that task. Ask yourself the following question. What is mine to lead and what is mine to release? Because if you hold both, you carry double. So this is a very, very important part of your role is go and ask yourself this question. I'm going to repeat it. What is mine to lead and what is mine to release? Feel free to pause me now and go and make a list. What is yours to lead and what is yours to release? Because if you are having, uh, you. If you are taking on tasks that are not yours to lead or not yours to take ownership of, then you should be releasing them. Number two, delegation is development, not a burden. And this is a big mindset shift for you because as a leader, you feel like you already know the amount of work your team has. So delegating feels wrong to you because you feel that you're being a burden on your team. When you delegate, it's not about giving someone more work. What you are actually gifting them, not giving them. Gifting them is growth, trust, responsibility, and overall opportunity. When you don't delegate, then you are saying, I don't trust you with this. So even if it's not your intention, you are actually saying that I don't trust you with that. I'm not going to give you the responsibility and I don't want to give you this opportunity. Healthy leaders develop people, not just protect them from pressure. Pressure is part of our jobs. It's part of everyone's job at some point in time. And we cannot treat our employees, for example, like we want to treat our kids. If you've got children, you will understand, or if you've got nieces or nephews, that you want to protect them from the harms of the world, you want to ensure that they don't get hurt. But, hey, think about your own lessons that you've learned in life. You learned those lessons by getting hurt, by making mistakes. And would you ever make those mistakes again? No, you would not. So instead of trying to put your employees in cotton wool and protect them from the burdens or the pressure of the workplace, you need to delegate to them. Show them that you trust them, show them that you are willing to give them the responsibility which will ultimately lead to their growth and to potential further opportunity for them. If it wasn't for the fact that my line manager trusted me with certain pressures and certain responsibilities, I would never have been able to step up into a director's role because if my line manager had just, um, closed me up in cotton wool, then I would never have had the opportunity to learn from him. But because he didn't do that, because he delegated to me, because he gave me that opportunity, I felt confident enough to step up into a director's role. Number three, be clear, not careful. Now, most leaders try to be careful when delegating, so they say things like, um, if you don't mind or only if you have the time, or would, uh, you do me a small little favourite, but that creates confusion. Instead, be clear, be calm and be respectful. For example, I'd like you to take ownership of this task. Here's what I'm looking for. And yes, it doesn't have to be as sterile as that. But for example, when I would sit with my leadership team, I would have, I said to my leadership team, we've got this fundraiser coming up and it's not that I don't have capacity for it, I do. But I would like one of you to take the opportunity to run with this fundraiser, because it's an opportunity for you to grow as a leader, to see how to run a project from beginning to end. And yes, it might challenge you. Yes, it's going to stretch you, but ultimately it's going to grow you as a leader. And you are going to be the better for it. I've run many projects before, but I would now like to give one of you the opportunity. And then all of them would nearly put up their hand and say, I'm willing. And then I would say, okay, great. If you're all willing, you can work together. But you have to choose someone who's in charge. One of the four of you has to be in charge. There has to be a project manager or a leader in this. And so because they worked so well together as a leadership team, they would also then give each other the opportunity and say, okay, I'll take the next one, I'll take the one after that, and I'll take the one after that. So it also creates this circle of opportunity within the team where they then grow, um, their responsibility together, but also they trust towards one another. Clarity ultimately reduces stress, not just for you, but for both of you. And then the fourth one that I want to mention is release the outcomes to God. This is where faith comes in. Because sometimes the hesitation to delegate is fear that what if it's not done properly? What if something goes wrong? What if I'm judged because I didn't want to take on that job, I was just delegating it to someone, pawning it off on somebody else. That's also what I've heard before. But leadership requires trust, right? So you prepare, you communicate, and then you support and then you release. You are not called to control every outcome, but you are called to lead faithfully. So what you can do is when you are entrusting somebody with that task, pray for them. You don't have to openly pray for them. You have to don't have to pray loudly or even with them, but in your own quiet time, when you are praying for your company, when you are praying for your employees, pray for that person leading this project or leading whatever it is that you delegated to them. You might know that they're going to make mistakes. You will, you might know that. However, if we don't allow people to make mistakes, they can't grow. So pray at least that God will give them insight. God will give them knowledge and give them the wisdom to handle this task. However, you're not just going to leave them, right? You're going to support them. So let them have check ins with you once a week about this thing that you delegated to them. That is what I did with my line manager. Once a week I'd have to report back to my line manager about how the project was going what was my progress that I was making? Whom have I spoken to? What have they said? Anything and anything that was an update. I would share even the most insignificant things. But it was in the moments of sharing insignificant things that my line manager would say, well, this is not insignificant at all. It's actually a major update. But because I didn't see it like that, he showed me that. Wow, okay, yeah, I thought it was insignificant, but it's actually very important. I've shown growth in that space. So, um, make sure that you support that person that you've delegated. Doesn't obviously doesn't mean you're going to take the task back from them. There was once a lady who I line managed who had. I spoke to her at the end of the year about some projects that we had done. So we were actually meant to meet up on a weekly to fortnightly basis. But every single time when we were meant to meet, it wasn't a very good time for her. So she just didn't show up to our meetings. I then got to the point where I'm like, okay, am I removing these meetings from my diary or what am I doing? So my, and again, I'm always very honest on the show. I didn't follow her up on that because it wasn't my highest priority. However, it should have happened because at the end of the year when she had her annual performance review, she brought it up to me. She said, well, every single you scheduled a meeting at a time that I literally cannot make it. So that's why we never had any follow up meetings. And basically she blamed me. So she was like, well, we've never had any meetings before. I can never share my progress with you because I was never able to make the meeting. But my response to her was okay, but you were equally responsible. Yes. I didn't follow it up that you didn't come, but why did you also not contact me to say, hey Rika, can we reschedule the meeting at a time that actually suits me now? So it was, it, it went both ways. So we were meant, I was meant to keep her accountable, but she also from her end didn't tell me that, hey, you know, we can't meet because this is not a great time for me. So we were both very responsible in that space. And so if things like that happen, make sure, uh, that again, from a leadership perspective, I know it's tough because again, we've got a lot of stuff going on but so does your team. So just, it's just like A little, uh, bit of an extra tip for you is make sure that when you are supporting them that it's also a good time for them and that it's not their most stressful time, like end of financial year or, you know, something like that. Because then it's not that you, because you should definitely delegate, but you should also then support them with that delegation. You can't just delegate to them and then they don't know what to do. Basically, if you've not given clear instruction on what the expectation is, you're basically setting them up for failure. Okay, so if delegation has been weighing on you, if you've been carrying more than you should, or avoiding conversations because you don't know how to say it clearly, the difficult conversation script pack will 100% support you with this. It'll help you delegate clearly, communicate expectations confidently, stop over explaining, and lead without second guessing your words. Now, the script acts amazing because I keep on adding scripts to it. So at the time of this recording, there was only six scripts in it. However, I'm already planning to add a number seven and a number eight. So hopefully by the time that this episode airs, number seven and number eight is already there. But what's nice about if you purchase this project is you're going to get continuous updates, lifetime updates to any other conversation scripts that I do add there. So Simply go to womanofffaithinleadership.com conversation and you'll be able to purchase the script pack there. Now, in closing, what I want to say is you were never meant to carry everything. Not the workload, not the emotional weight, and certainly not the responsibility for every single outcome. God doesn't call you to do it all. He called you to lead. And leadership means trusting others, releasing control and walking in wisdom, not pressure. You are allowed to let go of what isn't yours. And when you do, you'll find your leadership becomes lighter, clearer and stronger. Now, I just want to end this episode with a prayer and then I, uh, will chat you again in the next episode. Dear Lord, thank you so very much that we can come just before you. As women are facing leadership all across the world, I just want to pray for every single woman listening to the show that are in a position where they have taken on more than what they should have that's really struggling with delegation. I pray, Lord, that you show them, help them to feel it in their heart, Holy Spirit, that delegation is from you. And that delegation is important because as a leader, they cannot carry everything. But we know, Lord, that delegation is tough because we feel like we're burdening our team. They're going to be irritated or annoyed with us because we're giving them more work. But Lord, help this leader who's listening to this episode today to convey the message that delegation is a growth and opportunity. Uh, opportunity for responsibility. An opportunity for them to grow and to receive more responsibility so that they can be a leader one day. And Lord, I want to pray for each and every one of them that you'll be with them throughout this week as they tackle their leadership challenges. I pray that you be with them. I pray that they'll feel your presence no matter what situation they're going through. And I pray this all in your mighty name. Amen. I'll chat to you again in the next episode. Bye.

Rika Whelan: Hey. I hope you enjoyed today's episode. If so, would you take 30 seconds and leave me a five star written review on Apple podcast? It would be so much to me

Rika Whelan: to read your feedback. Also, it would really bless me big

Rika Whelan: if you shared this episode with a fellow leader who might benefit from hearing today's message. And remember, put on the armor of God daily and walk by faith and not by sight. I'll meet you back on Monday for another episode.