Women of Faith in Leadership · 2026-08-03 · 15 min
Key moments - from our scoring
Substance score
41 / 100
Five dimensions, 20 points each
Most leaders attribute team friction to difficult people, but Reka Whelan argues the real culprit is unclear expectations. When leaders avoid being direct - softening messages, hinting, or hoping things improve - they create confusion that exhausts both leader and team. Whelan outlines four concrete strategies: First, stop assuming that 'obvious' things are obvious to everyone (backgrounds differ; what you take for granted may be foreign to others). Second, specify what good looks like by describing standards, outcomes, and success criteria rather than vague directives. Third, set expectations during onboarding, not after problems arise - identify recurring issues and build solutions into the process upfront. Fourth, follow through consistently so the team knows you mean what you say and can hold each other accountable. She emphasizes that clarity reduces stress by 70%, builds a culture of accountability, and lets peers self-correct before escalating to leadership. For leaders who've already dropped the ball, Whelan promotes her Confident Conversation Blueprint (formerly Difficult Conversation Script Pack) at womenofaithinleadership.com/conversations, which teaches how to have these conversations with preparation - the foundation of confidence. The message is clear: clarity is leadership, protection, and Christ-centered authority.
Reka claims setting clear expectations can reduce leadership stress by 70%, because much of the stress comes from unclear expectations rather than genuinely difficult team members.
Someone who grew up in a third-world country without exposure to a first-world mop didn't know how to use it when hired at an Australian daycare - what seemed obvious to native workers wasn't obvious to them, illustrating how background shapes understanding.
Setting expectations upfront prevents recurring issues, empowers employees to troubleshoot common problems themselves using pre-built solutions, and reduces the burden on you as a leader.
You must have the same conversation with every person who breaks an expectation - not just some people - so the team knows expectations are non-negotiable and that you mean what you say.
It's Reka's course (formerly called Difficult Conversation Script Pack) at womenofaithinleadership.com/conversations that teaches scripts and preparation strategies for having difficult conversations about unmet expectations, with the premise that preparation builds confidence.
Our reviewer’s read on each dimension, with quotes from the episode.
The episode delivers straightforward, actionable advice on setting expectations with four concrete strategies (stop assuming, be specific, set early, follow through). However, the insights are intuitive rather than novel - most experienced managers already understand these principles. The content is organized and useful but lacks surprising research, counterintuitive findings, or deeper psychological mechanisms that would elevate it beyond common-sense leadership guidance.
People can't consistently meet expectations that were never clearly set
stop assuming and start stating
The framework is standard expectation-setting advice recycled across leadership training. The example of the daycare worker and the mop is concrete but illustrative rather than original. The four-step structure (assume, be specific, set early, follow through) is predictable and lacks contrarian thinking or first-principles rethinking of why expectation-setting fails. No novel theory or surprising reframes are offered.
stop assuming and start stating
be specific about what good looks like
This is a solo host episode with no guest. Speaker A (Reka Whelan) appears to be a podcast host and course creator based on the product promotions, but there is no evidence in the transcript of operating a business at scale, managing teams through significant complexity, or demonstrable practitioner experience. The advice is presented as didactic instruction rather than earned wisdom from real operational challenges.
I'm Reka Whelan, and each week you'll discover biblical wisdom and practical leadership strategies
I used to do with my employees is during onboarding process
The episode includes one concrete example (the daycare worker learning to use a mop) and references the speaker's own team experience, but offers minimal quantified data, named case studies, or measurable outcomes. The title claims '70% stress reduction' but provides no evidence or methodology for this figure. Most advice remains abstract - 'clarity', 'specific', 'consistent' - without named companies, metrics, timelines, or dollar figures demonstrating impact.
Somebody who grew up, uh, in a third world country...started working at a daycare center in Australia
these are the common problems or issues that you might experience in your time at our workplace
This is a monologue with no guest or second speaker to create dialogue. The host asks rhetorical questions but never engages with opposing views, pushes back on assumptions, or challenges her own framing. The episode functions as a prescriptive lecture rather than a conversational exploration. There is no evidence of intellectual rigor through sparring or genuine inquiry.
Why is this so hard?
What standard are you expecting?
Computed from the transcript - who did the talking, and the words that came up most.
So much of the stress leaders carry isn’t because their team is difficult… it’s because expectations haven’t been made clear. In this episode, we unpack one of the most common - and overlooked - leadership challenges: unclear expectations. If you’ve ever felt frustrated, repeated yourself, or wondered why things aren’t being done the way you expected, this conversation will bring clarity and relief. Because leadership becomes significantly lighter when people know exactly what’s expected of them. In This Episode we explore: • why unclear expectations create stress, frustration, and repeated issues • the hidden cost of “being nice” instead of being clear • why your team may not be meeting expectations (even when they’re capable) • how assumptions create confusion in leadership • the difference between vague direction and clear leadership • how setting expectations early prevents difficult conversations later You’ll walk away with practical, simple shifts you can apply immediately to lead with greater clarity and less emotional strain. A Simple Leadership Shift: People can’t consistently meet expectations that were never clearly set. Clarity isn’t harsh. Clarity is leadership.
Transcribed and scored by The B2B Podcast Index.
Speaker A: Here's something that most leaders don't realize. A lot of the stress that you are carrying is not because your team is difficult, but it's because the expectations are not clear. And I say that with so much compassion because I've been there myself. You're frustrated because things aren't getting done properly. You're repeating yourself. You're having the same conversation over and over and over again, and. And internally, you're thinking to yourself, why is this so hard? I feel like I've said this already. Why don't they just listen and why don't they get it? But here's the shift. People can't consistently meet expectations that were never clearly set. And today we're going to talk about how to fix just that, uh, in a way that's actually reduced, that actually reduces your stress, strengthens your leadership, and creates clarity in your team. Let's do it. Welcome to the Women of Faith in Leadership podcast, where faith and leadership come together. I'm Reka Whelan, and each week you'll discover biblical wisdom and practical leadership strategies to help you lead with confidence and honor God in every area of your leadership. Let's get started. Now, setting expectations or having the words to bring someone back to what the actual expectations were because your onboarding process failed, then the Difficult Conversation Script Pack is definitely for you. In the Difficult Conversation Script Pack, I'm going to share with you different angles of how you can approach different and, um, difficult conversations. Turn them from difficult conversations into confident conversations. Now, I am in the process of changing the name of this product from Difficult Conversation Script Backed to the Confident Conversation Blueprint. So if you've already purchased this product, you'll see the change coming in your portal. If you've not purchased the product yet, go right ahead, because you will receive lifetime updates of all the Difficult Conversation scripts that you, uh, guys have been asking for. And so Definitely go to womanofaithinleadership.com conversations to go learn more about this script package, or as it will now be known, the blueprint. So here's what really happens to a lot of Christian women in leadership. You care deeply about your team. You want to be kind, you want to be supportive, you want to be understanding, and you want to be approachable. But, uh, instead of then being direct with your team, when something goes wrong, you actually try to soften the blow. And when you actually soften the blow, that's when things can go significantly wrong. You start hinting at things, you start suggesting, you start implying, and you hope they just Pick it up. But in actual fact is they, it's not going to fix itself. It's not going to come right if you are not going to be straightforward with them. You start thinking to yourself, ah, uh, it'll fix it in time. You know, I don't want to make it awkward, I don't want to hurt anybody's feelings. But in the process, you actually become more frustrated, more overwhelmed, more emotionally drained, and more resentful towards the team. And, um, because your team is not incapable, but you are treating them as if they're incapable to deal with your truth, they start operating in confusion. So the deeper truth actually becomes true, unclear. Um, expectations don't create kindness, they create instability. And instability is absolutely exhausting to lead. So I want to give you strategies, four strategies that you can use to, instead of hinting or hoping that things will fix itself, four strategies that you can use in your leadership to start setting those expectations clearly, which will also then reduce your stress, which is exactly what we want. Okay, number one, stop assuming and start stating. One of the biggest mistakes that leaders make is assuming that things are obvious. Something that's obvious to me is not obvious to you. And that's because of our, uh, different backgrounds, because of our different upbringings. And something that might be obvious to you might not be obvious to me. I have a really good example of this. It's a really simple example, but somebody who grew up, uh, in a third world country, or even worse than that, um, somebody who did not have access to even a broom, a proper broom, started working at a daycare center in Australia. And when they had to mop the floors or even start sweeping the floor, they did actually it was the mop, it wasn't the broom. They did not know how to use that first world mop because they were never exposed to that type of mop. So it's something that's so easy and so simple. But I would have thought that it would be obvious how to use a mop, but it wasn't. To that person, they had to learn how to use that mop because they never grew up with that upbringing of how to use a mop like that. So something very simple. But it's the same as using a computer, same as using Excel, same as using Microsoft Word. It could be any number of things. It could be technology, it could be, um, how to clean the kitchen behind yourself. Right? It's very simple and very, you know, some of us think it's common sense, but to some people it just is not. So instead of Assuming that people know, assume that they don't know and rather give them the clarity. You can ask a question like, do you know how to do that? And then if they say, yeah, of course I know how to do that, then you can say, well, you know, um, I'm not a person who assumes, so I might ask you further questions like that. Don't take it personal. It's just me not wanting to assume that you know things, because the next time I ask, you might not know that. And that'll give you the freedom to say, actually, you know what? I don't know how to do that. So stop assuming and just, um, instead of assuming, seek clarity from that person whether they know what to do or not. So instead of saying something like, I need this done properly, you're going to say it more clearly. I need this completed by Friday because I'd like to review it before it gets submitted to the board of directors or to the director, whoever. Okay? So clarity removes the guesswork. Number two, be specific about what good looks like. There is. This is really where expectations fall apart. And I mentioned that in a couple of episodes ago as well. If you want somebody to draw up a spreadsheet for you, you're not just going to go and say, draw up the spreadsheet. You're going to say, please make sure that, um, the spreadsheet is drawn up and it's got clear borders. Um, I want it spaced like this. I want it looking like that. Please add the. At the company logo. If you just assume that somebody knows how to draw up that Excel spreadsheet according to exactly what you like, you're going to be disappointed. So that person might find it obvious and say, well, yeah, of course I was going to add the logo. Then you can just say, look, it's not personal. I just need to make sure that this is done correctly because it's getting submitted to the board of directors. So always be clear within that and make, uh, sure that people know it's not personal. It's not that you don't trust them. It's the fact that you want to make sure that you're clear and that your expectations are clear as well. So, for example, uh, make sure, um, ask yourself. You can ask questions like this. What standard are you expecting? That's something that you need to communicate. What outcome are you looking for? That's something you need to communicate. What does success look like in this situation? Again, that's something that you need to communicate. When expectations are specific, performance improve naturally and your stress reduces Significantly as well. Number three, set expectations early, not after the problem. Okay, so this is where a good onboarding process comes in. It is very important that when we onboard people, we set the expectations clearly from the start. A lot of companies don't onboard their people properly and then that leads to significant amount of problems down the road. So what I would suggest is go first and have a look at your onboarding process. Make sure that your expectations are set clearly. Then when problems arise, you can troubleshoot as you go. So go and think about some issues in your company that arise constantly. Make sure that there are solutions in place to, um, make sure that if those solutions, if those problems come up, those solutions are already in place. One thing that I used to do with my employees is during onboarding process, I used to say to them, these are the common problems or issues that you might experience in your time at our workplace. How do I know that? Because we've seen it multiple times come up. So to ensure that we give you a proper working environment that doesn't have these issues or when these issues do arise, these are the solutions that I'd like to offer you before coming to me to seek a solution. I'd like you to seek these solutions first. And when you can then still not solve the problem, you're more than welcome to come to me. So by doing that, I'm actually reducing my own stress as well. And I'm not taking on board their problem. I'm not making their problem mine. They're actually taking their problem, solving it themselves. And if they still cannot solve it, they can 100% come to me. They're more than welcome. So this just creates that healthy relationship between them and myself. And it also empowers them to make sure that they know exactly what potential problems might come up. Because I've set those expectations and I've troubleshooted before the problem occurred, not afterwards. Sometimes a problem occurs that you did not expect, that's fine as well. Again, then we're going to troubleshoot, we're going to problem solve together as a team. Number four, follow through consistently. If people struggle or if there are difficult conversations that need to be had, you need to follow through consistently. If expectations are not met, you need to follow through consistently. If somebody keeps on gossiping, or if this person gossip, then that person gossip, then this person gossips. You need to follow through consistently. You can not only have a conversation with one person who gossips, you need to have a conversation with everyone who gossips, and not together individually. So you need to make sure that people get to know you as the person who follows through consistently. It is time consuming to be consistent. I understand, because I had to learn the hard way as well. But by becoming consistent, people knew where they stood with me. People knew that if they did not come up the mass or if they didn't meet the expectations that that was going to warrant a conversation. So instead of having the conversation with me, they wanted to avoid that conversation and then they just did their work properly. So that's the ideal and that's what we're looking for. Consistency also means alignment for you and your team with the company's expectations. So if again, like I mentioned before, your team will know that you're going to follow through consistently, so they're going to be more aligned to their expectations, to their job descriptions, to their SOPs, because they know that you're going to follow through. They know that those things are law, um, in this company and that if they don't follow through, then it's going to warrant a conversation. So, um, consistency really allows you to create a culture of accountability within your team. And that's exactly what you want. A, uh, culture of accountability reduces your stress. It reduces your team stress and actually just creates this culture of, uh, you not needing to speak to your team 100% of the time, but colleagues speaking to each other and say, hey, I saw that this happened, but actually let's try and fix that before our leader, let's say Rika, before Rika sees it because, um, we can tell her about it afterwards after we've troubled. Shoot it. Now. If you've realized in this episode that you've not been as clear as what you know you should or even could be, then I highly encourage you. I'll point you back again to the Confident Conversation blueprint, previously known as the Difficult Conversation Script Pack, where I teach you how to have these difficult conversations, how to set expectations after the problem. You should actually be doing it before, but here to help you if that's not the case, how to have these conversations and then really how to prepare for them. Well, because preparation is what builds confidence. We often think that, uh, confident leaders just wake up confidently one day, or leaders that are assertive, are born assertive or because they've done an MBA or because they've done this course or that course or whatever, that's how they gain confidence or assertiveness. It's actually not that at all. The thing that builds confidence is preparation. So if you want to prepare really well for these conversations that you know you need to have. Then go to womenofaithinleadership.com conversations and you will learn more there about the Blueprint. Now in closing I want to share with you that clarity is leadership. Clarity is how you protect your team, Clarity is how you reduce confusion and clarity is how you create peace in your environment. And most importantly, clarity allows you to lead with calm, Christ centered authority. You're not too much for being clear. You're not being harsh by setting the expectations what you're doing, you're leading. Hey, I hope you enjoyed today's episode. If so, would you take 30 seconds and leave me a five star written review on Apple Podcasts? It would mean so much to me to read your feedback. Also, it would really bless me big if you shared this episode with a fellow leader who might benefit from hearing today's message. And remember, put on the armor of God daily and walk by faith and not by sight. I'll meet you back on Monday for another episode.
Other episodes covering the same guests and topics, from across The B2B Podcast Index.
173 - How to have a difficult conversationYour Business Hour · on difficult conversations80 / 100
Emotional intelligence in customer success with Jenelle FridayCS School · on difficult conversations78 / 100
How to manage the priorities between the executive team and the investorThe Private Equity Podcast, by Raw Selection · on difficult conversations72 / 100
Why Do Leaders Avoid the Conversations That Would Actually Fix Everything? | Neuroscience in LeadershipAI Cafe Conversations · on difficult conversations59 / 100
Episode 43: Trust the Process: How to succeed as a first-time manager with Stephanie Herre (Leadership Coach, Sales Leader at Remote.com, Ex-Cisco and SAP)Teams at Work by BUNCH · on difficult conversations55 / 100
Middle Management Meltdown: Are They Breaking?The Digital Transformation Playbook · on difficult conversations54 / 100
171 | [Guest] The 3D Leader - An Ancient Blueprint for a Digital Age with Dr. Yolanda Powell62 / 100170 | Solving Problems Like Jesus - Calm, Wise, Strategic Leadership Under Pressure30 / 100169 | Leading with Integrity (When It Would Be Easier Not To)30 / 100168 | Delegate Without Feeling Guilty41 / 100
174 | [Guest] When Faith Meets Burnout: Breaking Free from the Lie that Doing More Pleases God with Kerry Iannone