69 | You Can Heal Your Money Mindset Without Burning Out with Elevated Impact Owner CeCe

1 - > SPEAKER_04: Hey friends, welcome to Woman Owned Wallet, the 2 - > podcast. 3 - > I'm your host, Amanda Dare, a serial entrepreneur who has 4 - > already made all of the money mistakes, so you don't have to. 5 - > Now I'm working on my money mindset, expanding my companies, 6 - > and having open conversations with women around a subject that 7 - > shouldn't be so taboo. 8 - > Money.

9 - > My company, Woman Owned Wallet, and I are determined to help you 10 - > foster a more positive relationship with your wallet 11 - > and help you create a life that makes you say, wow. 12 - > Hey money makers, welcome back to another episode of Woman 13 - > Owned Wallet, the podcast. 14 - > Amanda Dare here, and I'm sitting across from who's 15 - > someone who's probably become my trauma-bonded sister at this 16 - > point. 17 - > We just had the most beautiful pre-podcast recording 18 - > conversation.

19 - > And I promise we'll bring you into some of those, like those 20 - > vibes. 21 - > We'll get the hot gas for you. 22 - > No worries there. 23 - > But Shaunice, thank you so much for coming on the podcast.

24 - > We're so happy to have you. 25 - > Thank you for having me. 26 - > I'm so excited to be here. 27 - > Yay!

Okay, y'all. 28 - > So she owns an amazing business called Elevated Impact. 29 - > What a freaking name for a business. 30 - > I do feel like it could mean a lot of things, which is also 31 - > wonderful.

32 - > Kind of like Woman and Wall can mean a lot of things. 33 - > Who knows? 34 - > But tell us a little bit about it. 35 - > Like give us some of the good vibes of uh getting started with 36 - > elevated impact.

37 - > SPEAKER_02: So elevated impact started as empowering you 38 - > originally. 39 - > And that all came about because I was in a space where I was 40 - > tired of giving my all to everyone else, and I wanted to 41 - > focus on myself. 42 - > Oh, haven't we all felt that way? 43 - > Love it.

44 - > So I decided to do something extremely random and I entered 45 - > into an international pageant competition. 46 - > Did it? 47 - > I loved it because this competition, um, this pageant in 48 - > particular, MVP, um, Miss Voluptuous Pageants, it was very 49 - > aligned with who I was wanting to be as a person because I felt 50 - > like I wasn't in that space. 51 - > Um, and when I competed, you have to have a platform.

52 - > You have to stand for something, you have to be an advocate for 53 - > something. 54 - > And mental health has always been extremely important to me. 55 - > Um, I don't come from a space where mental health was a common 56 - > topic in my home. 57 - > So I wanted that to be a very instrumental part of my life as 58 - > an adult.

59 - > SPEAKER_04: Who can relate, y'all? 60 - > SPEAKER_02: Me, everybody millennial ever. 61 - > So um I entered into this pageant system. 62 - > I won the title, the international title.

63 - > SPEAKER_03: Hold on. 64 - > SPEAKER_02: Yeah. 65 - > I love that. 66 - > Thank you.

67 - > First one. 68 - > First one. 69 - > And I wasn't, I was prepared to go in and just really showcase 70 - > who I was. 71 - > I wasn't necessarily in a space like, hey, I'm gonna cohere so I 72 - > can take home a title.

73 - > I was just, you know what? 74 - > I'm happy with where I'm at. 75 - > Whatever happens, happens. 76 - > SPEAKER_04: Try it out.

77 - > You gotta expand, you know, the world around you. 78 - > And you were doing that. 79 - > Yes, you can do what you can do, spread those wings. 80 - > Yes.

81 - > SPEAKER_02: And honestly, that's exactly what it did. 82 - > It made me spread my wings tenfold. 83 - > And after that, empowering you, it's funny because when I tried 84 - > to register empowering you as a business, um, I was operating um 85 - > without registering it for a while because I didn't know the 86 - > ins and outs of things. 87 - > SPEAKER_05: Right.

88 - > SPEAKER_02: And then we all do, right? 89 - > And then when I went to go register it, someone took the 90 - > name two days before. 91 - > Two days. 92 - > Two days, Amanda.

93 - > SPEAKER_04: Before I went sorry, I'm playing with my plow. 94 - > Two days. 95 - > SPEAKER_02: Two days. 96 - > SPEAKER_04: Was it empowering with the letter U or Y O U?

97 - > Y O U. 98 - > SPEAKER_02: It was exactly how I and they did that. 99 - > And they took it. 100 - > Um, I kind of had I felt that I was coming into a space where I 101 - > was being a little bit more visible.

102 - > I was a little bit more out there in the community, and some 103 - > people were liking some things that I did, and they decided to 104 - > take that. 105 - > SPEAKER_04: You think it was like deliberate? 106 - > Oh, yeah. 107 - > Oh, do you know who did it?

108 - > I don't. 109 - > Okay. 110 - > I don't know who did it. 111 - > Better and worse.

112 - > I'm like, whose house are we toilet papering? 113 - > I'm just kidding. 114 - > SPEAKER_02: But every time I have things like that happen, I 115 - > like to take it as, you know what, this is redirection. 116 - > This isn't the end.

117 - > So I remember brainstorming for like three hours all night long, 118 - > actually. 119 - > I think it was till like four or five o'clock in the morning. 120 - > And I finally landed on elevated impact. 121 - > And it resonated with me because, like you said, it's 122 - > all-encompassing.

123 - > What does that even mean? 124 - > SPEAKER_04: Like in the best way. 125 - > Yeah. 126 - > Like, because we're, I mean, we're entrepreneurs.

127 - > You you're gonna wanna vibe and see, see what happens when you 128 - > have your business and when you got going on, and you wanna be 129 - > able to move within it to where you don't have to change the 130 - > name, um, but you can offer different services or products 131 - > or whatever. 132 - > So I like it. 133 - > SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah. 134 - > And that's exactly what I was thinking.

135 - > Smart. 136 - > And um it, I offer a variety of things. 137 - > So um the main thing that I do, I'm a nervous system coach. 138 - > So what that means is that I kind of just help you get 139 - > through all of those barriers, blockers, different traits that 140 - > you have that are impacting you sick in whatever area of success 141 - > you're trying to reach.

142 - > So that could be if you are someone that is looking to reach 143 - > executive level, if you're an entrepreneur, or you just kind 144 - > of want to learn how to be at peace with yourself and be happy 145 - > in this life, you know, in whatever capacity that looks 146 - > like for you. 147 - > So outside of that, I also do group workshops and I hosted a 148 - > retreat a couple of years ago in Nashville. 149 - > It was awesome, it was so much fun. 150 - > Um, but that is pretty much the gist of it, and then elevated 151 - > just offers so many different things.

152 - > But my purpose um is very in alignment with who I am as a 153 - > person. 154 - > I want people to feel heard and feel seen. 155 - > Yeah, I want them to know that they're not alone. 156 - > I want them to know that hey, she went through it too, but 157 - > that she was able to overcome it.

158 - > Now let me teach you how to do it. 159 - > SPEAKER_04: You know? 160 - > Don't you feel like the safest world we can live in is one 161 - > where people feel seen and heard? 162 - > But like the way that crime would just come down to the 163 - > bottom.

164 - > Like the way that if we if we engaged with it as a safety 165 - > tactic would be so, I think just beautifully rewarding in so many 166 - > ways. 167 - > But I just don't feel like that's what the capitalist 168 - > society they want to have people in this hierarchy at the bottom 169 - > so that they can exploit them. 170 - > And by keeping us isolated or divided or not knowing 171 - > ourselves, you know, that keeps us kind of as a cog in the 172 - > wheel. 173 - > SPEAKER_02: Absolutely.

174 - > If we came from a world where mental health and being seen and 175 - > heard, those things were priority. 176 - > Imagine what society would look like. 177 - > Imagine the capabilities, imagine the things that people 178 - > do, positive and negative, simply because they feel 179 - > unwanted, unloved, uncared for, all of those things, you know, 180 - > and imagine if they had that consistently. 181 - > That's why I love connecting with women like you because 182 - > you're creating that space and you're allowing people from so 183 - > many different walks of life to come together and just kind of 184 - > hey, this is what I have going on, that's what I have going on, 185 - > and collaborate with each other and bounce ideas off of each 186 - > other and just be in a safe, comfortable space.

187 - > You can show up authentically, 1000% yourself. 188 - > And that is so very important. 189 - > SPEAKER_04: Oh, thank you. 190 - > I was telling her I was trying earlier, and she was like, 191 - > trying, take that out of your vocabulary right now.

192 - > Like, you're so right. 193 - > And then I was like, Are we gonna coaching Shastrian? 194 - > Because I'm going through shit right now. 195 - > Like, what's happening?

196 - > We're gonna coach each other. 197 - > It'll be fine. 198 - > Yeah, I was just thinking, like at like Woman Owned Wednesdays 199 - > or any of the WoW community kind of events, there would not be 200 - > someone that took your name two days before you wanted to 201 - > register it. 202 - > Like, that's just not a thing that would register in anyone's 203 - > mind to do because, and that's what I found, like being an 204 - > entrepreneur since I was 20.

205 - > I felt so much of like competition and so much stuff 206 - > where I was like, oh, I'm the youngest one, so I'm on the 207 - > bottom. 208 - > So I'm I'm gonna be the one taken, like paying my dues or 209 - > being taken advantage of, like, right now. 210 - > And that's that's something I still sometimes feel that I'm 211 - > within. 212 - > I'm like, oh, well, I'll put myself on the back burner 213 - > because I'm just like paying my dues, which is a way that I just 214 - > feel like people utilize that wording for a lot of negative 215 - > purposes sometimes.

216 - > Like they can really overextend someone because they're they're 217 - > trying to prove themselves in some way. 218 - > I'm like, actually, I have proved myself like over and 219 - > over. 220 - > So I have this thing in my house. 221 - > I told my therapist about it on Monday and she liked it.

222 - > So I was like, yeah. 223 - > Thanks, therapist. 224 - > Um, but I have this thing in my house. 225 - > I call it the evidence locker because I do love me some true 226 - > crime.

227 - > I'm like, if it's true, here's all my crimes. 228 - > You know, like serial killers have like mementos. 229 - > Are you saying you're a serial killer? 230 - > This is where it all comes together.

231 - > This is your jumping off point. 232 - > You met a serial killer on a podcast. 233 - > No, I'm just kidding. 234 - > Just kidding.

235 - > Legal reasons, no, I've never never, never, never. 236 - > SPEAKER_03: I literally couldn't. 237 - > I'm too much of a lover. 238 - > Literally, meet her for five minutes, never happening.

239 - > SPEAKER_04: No, I can I can't. 240 - > But I do love the idea that um women are really validated 241 - > through listening to true crime because typically it is a lot of 242 - > uh crimes against women where they weren't believed, or you 243 - > there's a lot to learn. 244 - > That's all I really mean. 245 - > But my little evidence locker is um something that helps me build 246 - > my confidence back up, or something when I'm like, if I am 247 - > feeling some imposter syndrome or forgetting who the fuck I am, 248 - > like I look at it and I'm like, oh yeah, there's an award, 249 - > there's a there's a book that I wrote, there's a piggy bank, 250 - > which is like my mascot for a while.

251 - > There's there's all these little fun things that are kind of 252 - > parts of my story that um, you know, mean a lot to me. 253 - > And in a way, we were talking about celebrating earlier. 254 - > In a way, that is how I celebrate, but it's also kind of 255 - > just brings me back, you know. 256 - > But adding something, I mean, I even have some like Barbie doll 257 - > stuff up there that I'm obsessed with.

258 - > And I'm like, she's cute. 259 - > I have these like glasses that are pink from the Barbie movie 260 - > that came out. 261 - > Just like, it's just my my evidence to say, got this. 262 - > This is who I am.

263 - > This is who I am. 264 - > SPEAKER_02: This is who I am, this is what I'm doing. 265 - > SPEAKER_04: I am seen, I am heard. 266 - > And if I don't feel that way from external sources, I have 267 - > provided my evidence locker of that truth to myself.

268 - > SPEAKER_02: Oh, everybody needs an evidence locker. 269 - > SPEAKER_04: Let's get an evidence locker going. 270 - > Yeah. 271 - > Like of just like, it's literally all true.

272 - > And I can't, I can't look at it and not know that because I I 273 - > look at it and I remember exactly when I got something or 274 - > exactly when that award happened, or I was on a cover of 275 - > a magazine recently, like last month, and it's up there. 276 - > And I'm like, wait, what? 277 - > And it was so beautiful to like just be like, no, it really did 278 - > happen because there's so much of um we're chatting too. 279 - > You know, I'm just I'm just here's all the things we said 280 - > before we started recording.

281 - > That were so good that I just want to repeat them because I 282 - > think everybody should hear them. 283 - > But just like, we're I forgot where I was going with that 284 - > ADHD. 285 - > Uh-oh. 286 - > It's all good.

287 - > I did too. 288 - > SPEAKER_02: I have it as well. 289 - > So see? 290 - > Uh-oh.

291 - > That's that's it. 292 - > That's a really big challenge being an entrepreneur, too. 293 - > unknown: Uh yeah. 294 - > SPEAKER_02: And trying to find ways to work around that so that 295 - > you don't get lost in everything that's going on in your brain.

296 - > Yeah. 297 - > SPEAKER_04: Because we always have so many tabs open and so 298 - > much to do. 299 - > And I think that's probably where I was going with that. 300 - > It's just like anytime you're like feeling stress or 301 - > something, you go back to that place and you're like, it is 302 - > true, it did happen.

303 - > Oh, so many of my feelings in my life were from not being seen or 304 - > heard by someone that I cared about or whatever. 305 - > So um, for me, feeling even with the medical system, like I have 306 - > been going through trying to discover that I have 307 - > endometriosis and trying to discover what that means. 308 - > But I was um misdiagnosed, not listened to, told I was crazy, 309 - > the amount of gaslighting that's been through my life as a woman, 310 - > as a person, as an eldest daughter, you know, there's so 311 - > much shit there that I'm just like, okay, these things are 312 - > true.

313 - > And I need to be able to bring myself back to reality when 314 - > sometimes I'm telling myself a story that that I'm not, you 315 - > know, that put together, that I'm not that cool, or that I 316 - > haven't done anything, or whatever BS that I've heard some 317 - > from somewhere else, you know, that comes in and becomes a 318 - > story I'm telling myself. 319 - > I need the evidence to prove that it's wrong. 320 - > SPEAKER_02: Bring you back to Amanda. 321 - > Yeah.

322 - > Bring you back to Amanda. 323 - > So whenever you do look at that evidence soccer, what does it 324 - > feel like? 325 - > Oh, she's she's coaching me. 326 - > I like it.

327 - > You know, I'm not I'm not me because I don't get a little bit 328 - > of coaching in there. 329 - > SPEAKER_04: Because that's me too. 330 - > And that's why I think we should be friends forever. 331 - > SPEAKER_02: And we should definitely be friends forever.

332 - > SPEAKER_04: Okay. 333 - > Pinky prom. 334 - > SPEAKER_02: I take pinky promises very seriously. 335 - > SPEAKER_04: I was about to tell you, you better not be pinky 336 - > promising me if you don't.

337 - > All right, here we go. 338 - > SPEAKER_03: Yay. 339 - > Okay, you guys, we're back to that. 340 - > SPEAKER_04: Well, and we both walked in, we're like, I hate 341 - > small talk.

342 - > Like, who hurt you? 343 - > What's happening? 344 - > Um let's get down to business. 345 - > You know, I just feel validation and I feel like it does, it 346 - > almost gives me this visualization of like puzzle 347 - > pieces coming back together in a way of like when I feel like I'm 348 - > doing a lot and it's all like really scattered, and then it 349 - > kind of all kind of comes back together.

350 - > And I'm like, okay, that's true, that's true, that's true, that's 351 - > true. 352 - > And I have to remind myself because, you know, going through 353 - > so much gaslighting, I thought I was lying. 354 - > I was like, no, I mean, this pain must not be real. 355 - > This is just a normal period, or this situation I'm in must be my 356 - > fault or whatever it was.

357 - > And I just have to bring myself back to a place that it's real, 358 - > it did happen, and you're not lying about something positive. 359 - > And in a way, that is kind of the celebration of like bringing 360 - > it back to me. 361 - > And then from there I can go, I don't know, paint something, 362 - > make a, yeah, but that kind of catalyst to go do more fun 363 - > stuff, more creative things. 364 - > SPEAKER_05: Yeah.

365 - > SPEAKER_04: I bedazzle a bunch, I make a lot of friendship 366 - > bracelets. 367 - > Did you pick one up yesterday? 368 - > I got them for you. 369 - > Okay, yeah, I guess.

370 - > There's one that says BFF on it. 371 - > SPEAKER_02: Okay, so it works. 372 - > That's mine. 373 - > Thank you.

374 - > SPEAKER_04: It's yours, it's in my bag. 375 - > I'll get it to yours. 376 - > But yeah, we were at Woman on Wednesday yesterday together. 377 - > So I was like, I brought some, but yeah, I'm just always kind 378 - > of I like to do stuff.

379 - > I'm a doer, I'm a maker. 380 - > So it always like catalyst me back to a little bit more of 381 - > feeling calm enough in myself that a creative expression can 382 - > happen. 383 - > So it's it's almost like a um a ramp, yeah, you know, that leads 384 - > me to something. 385 - > It realigned you.

386 - > Fun. 387 - > Realigned. 388 - > SPEAKER_02: It realigned you. 389 - > But I have a question though, right?

390 - > Because these things are great that we have to do it. 391 - > We have all of these exterior things, but let's say one day 392 - > you don't have the ability to get to your locker. 393 - > SPEAKER_04: Yeah. 394 - > What happens then?

395 - > Um, I just visualize my locker. 396 - > Okay, okay. 397 - > No, I mean that's a good point. 398 - > Um, but I can see it like it's in this room.

399 - > Yeah. 400 - > So I do have kind of a weird, uh, beautiful, intense visionary 401 - > part of me where I can be somewhere and see something else 402 - > um around me. 403 - > So, like in my mind, it's on this wall right here because it 404 - > looks like my wall. 405 - > So I just kind of put it into the space where I am.

406 - > SPEAKER_02: That's actually perfect because that's the most 407 - > important part about any form of success, right? 408 - > She called me perfect. 409 - > SPEAKER_04: Right? 410 - > She called me perfect.

411 - > Yeah. 412 - > To be able to visualize. 413 - > Yeah, the visual. 414 - > SPEAKER_02: To be able to see yourself in a capacity that 415 - > maybe you typically wouldn't, or in a capacity that you want to 416 - > be in, to be able to truly have that full faith.

417 - > You know that evidence locker. 418 - > You can't get your eyes on it right here, right now. 419 - > But you know it's there. 420 - > I know it's there.

421 - > You know it's in you. 422 - > You know that you've done those things. 423 - > So realistically, do you really need that evidence locker? 424 - > SPEAKER_04: Probably not.

425 - > Probably not. 426 - > But it wasn't like shoved into a drawer, and I was like, that's 427 - > not celebrating. 428 - > No, no, no, no. 429 - > Absolutely.

430 - > SPEAKER_02: Please celebrate yourself. 431 - > Put all of the awards out and make sure you show everybody in 432 - > your house that comes over your evidence locker. 433 - > But I say all of that to say, um, it's all internal. 434 - > Yeah.

435 - > It's all internal. 436 - > And as soon as we have the capacity to recognize that and 437 - > to find our power here in our minds first, then everything 438 - > else is just like snowball effect. 439 - > And that was the game changer for me because I came from a 440 - > household where I wasn't seen unless I was producing. 441 - > SPEAKER_04: Yeah, same.

442 - > SPEAKER_02: If I wasn't doing something great, I didn't 443 - > matter. 444 - > So I thought that that was evident as an adult. 445 - > So I did all of the things I produced, and I got burnt out, 446 - > and I had to learn my value just by simply doing nothing. 447 - > SPEAKER_04: Because I think even the idea of being seen is the 448 - > idea of being loved.

449 - > The idea of being heard and seen, maybe not fully 450 - > understood, but being willing to have openness to receive someone 451 - > for who they what they say and what they um what they who they 452 - > are. 453 - > Yes. 454 - > You know, it's it's people around you being open to 455 - > receiving it and then finding enough of those people that 456 - > you're like, oh, I've been talking to the wrong people. 457 - > And you kind of have to have that chosen community.

458 - > Isn't that like a light bulb though? 459 - > SPEAKER_02: When you realize that you're not the problem and 460 - > you were just surrounded by the wrong people. 461 - > SPEAKER_04: Yeah. 462 - > SPEAKER_02: It's a beautiful moment.

463 - > You get around them and you're like, oh my God, I'm kind of the 464 - > shit. 465 - > SPEAKER_04: I was around like light bulbs and I needed to be 466 - > around fireflies. 467 - > You know what I'm saying? 468 - > Like the lights only on every once in a while.

469 - > Like, how can we like you have to like, yeah, it's kind of that 470 - > visualization though. 471 - > It's like, how do I think of this in a way that, you know, 472 - > allows me to manage it, allows me to still love the light 473 - > bulbs. 474 - > Yeah. 475 - > Go be a firewall.

476 - > SPEAKER_02: Recognize that I'm a firefly and then go surround 477 - > myself with those fireflies. 478 - > SPEAKER_04: Yeah, I just made that up and I'm really proud of 479 - > it. 480 - > I like being a firefly because we're gonna like, we're gonna 481 - > flutter everywhere and we're gonna find like new fireflies. 482 - > And so I'm just gonna take a break.

483 - > Yeah, turn off that light every once in a while. 484 - > SPEAKER_02: Yeah. 485 - > Let it blink. 486 - > Absolutely.

487 - > Your value is not in how bright you are. 488 - > SPEAKER_04: Exactly. 489 - > SPEAKER_03: Oh, oh, oh I was like, which one should I bring? 490 - > SPEAKER_04: Oh, wait, there's crickets.

491 - > That's not the right one. 492 - > SPEAKER_03: But no, that sounds a good one. 493 - > I was hoping I don't know what sounds fireflies. 494 - > SPEAKER_04: But we're outside.

495 - > We're just we're just being fireflies outside. 496 - > That's what I'm imagining. 497 - > Not that the crickets are bad, they're good. 498 - > But but yeah, bum, bum, bum, bum.

499 - > Yeah. 500 - > You know, that's amazing. 501 - > And I think that's something that a lot of millennials 502 - > especially can relate to is like love was connected to 503 - > productivity, like how much I clean the house or how much like 504 - > basically the reward of anything came from what you did. 505 - > Yep.

506 - > That's what we mean through this. 507 - > Like taking it down to like the very base of everything is like 508 - > as a child, kind of understanding if you showed up 509 - > for someone else when you know you really needed to show up for 510 - > yourself, but you still showed up for them anyway. 511 - > Not that that's not fine to do sometimes. 512 - > SPEAKER_05: Yeah.

513 - > SPEAKER_04: But when you do it all the time, every single day, 514 - > and then you lose yourself, it's so not fun. 515 - > SPEAKER_02: It's not. 516 - > And then also not only should you have shown up for yourself, 517 - > but the people around you should have also shown up for you. 518 - > And that's a whole nother thing to kind of come and realize as 519 - > an adult that damn, nobody really showed up for me.

520 - > And it was just me. 521 - > And I kind of had to dig myself out of this hole. 522 - > And now that I'm not that version that they keep can keep 523 - > using, the version that now sets boundaries, now there's an 524 - > issue. 525 - > SPEAKER_04: God, they hate when you set boundaries.

526 - > Don't they? 527 - > Like, we still love you, mom and dad. 528 - > It's just that we need to be, I always go back to healthy 529 - > detachment. 530 - > Like, there is a healthy detachment to becoming, to me, 531 - > like a functioning adult, to becoming your own self, separate 532 - > from where you came from, who you came from.

533 - > Right. 534 - > And I think when that healthy detachment isn't allowed to 535 - > happen or does not naturally happen, I should say, that when 536 - > to your point, eldest daughter kind of vibes, which I feel like 537 - > we all know what's we you're listening to this podcast if 538 - > you're an eldest daughter. 539 - > But like we all kind of know that that reliance on us is what 540 - > it needs to be detached at a prop, like at the right time 541 - > that works for both of you.

542 - > And if that healthy detachment doesn't happen, if it's 543 - > prolonged and then you become, you you become the parent, you 544 - > know, to your parents, or if it's too early and you become 545 - > the parent to your parents, or to whoever is around you. 546 - > I'm not just talking about parents, obviously, but um, it 547 - > just feels like when you we recognize as millennials, 548 - > because we said it before this podcast, because once again, 549 - > we're about to we had a whole combo and I'm obsessed with it.

550 - > So when we have when we said that, it's not like we don't 551 - > understand why, like the resources weren't there, the 552 - > understanding of mental health wasn't a conversation. 553 - > But that doesn't mean that now understanding these things that 554 - > we should engage with them now that we have the language. 555 - > It shouldn't be so scary that now we have these things that we 556 - > can talk about. 557 - > Um, and we still have a lot of time, you know?

558 - > And like while we have the time, let's adjust the relationship 559 - > and let's make sure that we do, you know, present the boundaries 560 - > because we're the ones with the language of how to do that and 561 - > the practice of how to do that. 562 - > But it shouldn't mean that there's that should be respected 563 - > over. 564 - > uh criticized. 565 - > SPEAKER_02: Yes.

566 - > And also because you have the language, you it shouldn't 567 - > solely rely on the child that has that knowledge and the 568 - > capacity now. 569 - > If I am bringing it to your attention, then there needs to 570 - > be some sort of receptiveness. 571 - > SPEAKER_04: Yeah. 572 - > SPEAKER_02: So that we can move forward and we can build a real 573 - > healthy dynamic.

574 - > And it's really challenging when you have parents or siblings or 575 - > family or anything like that that just kind of want to remain 576 - > in that space. 577 - > And then they get upset with you or feel some type of way simply 578 - > because you're bringing up something that you're no longer 579 - > comfortable with or you want to address something or you want to 580 - > have a conversation in a healthy capacity. 581 - > SPEAKER_04: Yeah. 582 - > SPEAKER_02: But I think you know that's the hope.

583 - > Yeah. 584 - > But it's just like, you know, just because we don't agree 585 - > doesn't mean we can't talk about it. 586 - > unknown: Right. 587 - > SPEAKER_02: Let's talk about it.

588 - > Let's figure this out. 589 - > SPEAKER_04: I know. 590 - > And that's what we want. 591 - > Like that's the the equal that's respect is love, you know, and 592 - > love is respect.

593 - > So it's just kind of if you're in that position and you're able 594 - > to respect that we want to have a productive conversation 595 - > because guess what? 596 - > You love how productive I am. 597 - > Let me be productive in this way. 598 - > SPEAKER_05: Yeah.

599 - > SPEAKER_04: Um that we can really have these different 600 - > relationships. 601 - > And even though it does feel scary or maybe maybe the 602 - > conversations that they had if they ever challenged anything 603 - > and I'm just guessing at this moment, but maybe if they ever 604 - > challenged something that they would be um criticized and 605 - > that's why they don't want to have the conversation or, you 606 - > know, they didn't have that experience with their parents or 607 - > whatever.

608 - > And I I think that the divide that's kind of going between 609 - > generations right now is really is really sad. 610 - > It makes me sad. 611 - > It really is. 612 - > I love my family.

613 - > I do too. 614 - > Yeah. 615 - > I just want to be a healthy adult as well. 616 - > Right.

617 - > And I I want them to want that for me. 618 - > And I want them to help support me. 619 - > SPEAKER_02: Yes. 620 - > See we're best case.

621 - > But yes to be able to support that in a way that's not just 622 - > convenient for them. 623 - > SPEAKER_04: Yeah. 624 - > SPEAKER_02: For them to show up for you in the capacity that 625 - > you've been kind of looking and yearning for your whole life. 626 - > You know, and being open and not judging you because it looks 627 - > different than what it looks like for them.

628 - > SPEAKER_04: Mm-hmm. 629 - > I will say mom I'm going to call you out. 630 - > So the one of the and it's not even that bad. 631 - > It's just like I just wasn't really ready for it.

632 - > But instead of kind of like setting up a time to have a chat 633 - > because I was pulling back and I needed to just for my own again 634 - > healthy detachment of becoming an adult. 635 - > SPEAKER_05: Right. 636 - > SPEAKER_04: That's what the only way I truly see it is healthy 637 - > detachment. 638 - > And so I was setting up some boundaries and I had hurt her 639 - > feelings because I said I wasn't comfortable having people stay 640 - > at my home.

641 - > I live in a shotgun house there's no extra bedrooms like 642 - > my husband and I now both work from home. 643 - > Like it's just not a lot of space. 644 - > And I do constantly feel that I have to be even though they 645 - > don't expect it, they don't ask for it, there's nothing that 646 - > they're asking for I feel that I have to be the hostess when 647 - > anyone's in my home I think that that's natural. 648 - > And I feel that I have to be kind of in a serving a place of 649 - > serving and I'm just not always prepared for that.

650 - > And especially when I don't have a lot of space or anything too. 651 - > So I told her you know I wasn't comfortable with um anyone 652 - > staying at my house any longer. 653 - > And it hurt her feelings and I didn't fully explain it and I 654 - > did also say like it's it was my husband's and my decision. 655 - > We just it just wasn't working for us.

656 - > And you know my mom travels travels the world so I was like 657 - > oh she'll just stay in a hotel like it's not I didn't think it 658 - > was that big of a deal. 659 - > SPEAKER_05: Right. 660 - > SPEAKER_04: But then I was working in my shop and this is 661 - > what I meant about calling her out as just like she showed up 662 - > in my shop and then like I felt like oh she wants to have a 663 - > conversation right here, right now. 664 - > SPEAKER_02: Right here, right now.

665 - > SPEAKER_04: And honestly enough space that I really created to 666 - > help me heal from from a lot of the parentified daughter stuff 667 - > or from from the reliance on me as being the glue of the family 668 - > or the reliance on me for being the therapist of the family for 669 - > a long time as well. 670 - > You know, I just felt and I'm like none of these are my 671 - > responsibility I took them on and I did a great job. 672 - > SPEAKER_02: You did a damn good job.

673 - > SPEAKER_04: Because I tried really hard all the time and but 674 - > I just I I created a storefront in a space where um I felt safe 675 - > and she entered that space and I just wasn't prepared. 676 - > So again not really a call out just kind of like I wish there 677 - > was conversation around we're both ready to have a 678 - > conversation you know and I probably sprung it on her like 679 - > 10,000 times because I'm also just I'm just the girl. 680 - > SPEAKER_02: Did you guys ever circle back and get to have that 681 - > conversation?

682 - > SPEAKER_04: Well we did have the conversation in the storefront 683 - > and I just let her know like I wasn't trying to hurt her 684 - > feelings but it does hurt my feelings as well that that women 685 - > have been so villainized throughout my life. 686 - > My mom doesn't talk to her sister. 687 - > My grandma didn't talk to her daughter you know so there's 688 - > there's been a lot of abandonment that she's felt and 689 - > I also could recognize that she felt that in that moment that I 690 - > wouldn't allow her into my home.

691 - > It's not that I wouldn't allow that it's just I didn't want 692 - > anybody to stay over because it's a tiny house. 693 - > Right. 694 - > It doesn't even mean forever when I get a bigger house 695 - > reassess. 696 - > I mean don't go that far but just kidding we can reassess and 697 - > like we have one bathroom and we have like we're just not set up 698 - > for it.

699 - > And it's just felt um unfair that they would message me a day 700 - > before and I'm like I'm not I have my life and I can't prepare 701 - > for this extra responsibility. 702 - > So we had it and I explained to her you know that I was just 703 - > going through a lot like last year especially it was last 704 - > summer when we had this combo that um medically I felt really 705 - > sick all of the time and I didn't want to have to have 706 - > someone else in my space when when I was pre-diagnosis and 707 - > pre-surgery of the endometriosis I was in um labor like pains 708 - > every single day.

709 - > SPEAKER_02: Oh my God. 710 - > SPEAKER_04: Yeah it was over 20 years of that. 711 - > And so a lot of times people ask me how I'm strong or resilient 712 - > or doing anyway. 713 - > I'm like because I've seen the worst and this is not it.

714 - > Because I've been in the labor with a child I never had for 20 715 - > years. 716 - > SPEAKER_05: Wow. 717 - > SPEAKER_04: And you know that that hurt yeah in so many ways 718 - > because I wanted to be a mom so bad. 719 - > But also the fact that I was just struggling to relate to my 720 - > own mom through infertility and through um you know my brother 721 - > had a baby and we're obsessed she's amazing like her my mom's 722 - > granddaughter you know I'm just like that's fine.

723 - > You can spend time on everybody else right now. 724 - > I just need to have my full boundaries up and my full thing 725 - > because I haven't protected myself and I have to figure out 726 - > what's going on medically. 727 - > And even though my mom's in the medical field, as someone who 728 - > sees their kid sick, I can only imagine how you don't want to 729 - > see that. 730 - > So there were so many times when she she just didn't want to 731 - > engage with it and and I wish she would have because I trusted 732 - > her medical advice but like I can also understand how a parent 733 - > wouldn't want to see their kid sick or believe that.

734 - > So it felt invalidating not only from the medical field but from 735 - > her as well. 736 - > So I told her all this stuff and I hope she remembers it if she 737 - > listens to the pod because we had that combo. 738 - > But I just needed those boundaries up so I could figure 739 - > out what's going on with me and then I could come back to a 740 - > place where I can be like, hey this is what's actually 741 - > happening from objective perspectives of doctors who have 742 - > done studies on me.

743 - > Here's what it is and then we could come back together more 744 - > emotionally. 745 - > SPEAKER_02: And were you guys able to get to that space? 746 - > SPEAKER_04: Like had she Yeah it hasn't even been that long. 747 - > So I've only been out of surgery for a couple months and I'm 748 - > honestly still discovering a lot of that.

749 - > So we had a great time at h at the holidays, you know, at 750 - > Christmas and everything. 751 - > She gave me this beautiful painting where I completely felt 752 - > seen and heard which I love mom. 753 - > Thank you so much. 754 - > And I just felt like it was nice but I still need more time to 755 - > figure out what's going on with my body and like I've been to 756 - > three doctors appointments this week.

757 - > Yeah. 758 - > I mean it's healing and that's what I wanted to explain to her 759 - > is like this actually has nothing to do with you in the 760 - > best way. 761 - > Just like I just need my time to figure this out without external 762 - > influences other than my doctors who are the ones doing the tests 763 - > and the ones are finally after all this time validating it. 764 - > Yeah.

765 - > SPEAKER_02: But whenever you have to parent your parent it's 766 - > hard for them to see that you're your own individual person 767 - > because they've become so attached to you. 768 - > It's like yeah I came from you I get it. 769 - > I'm my own person. 770 - > SPEAKER_04: I have a life yeah yeah and I think sometimes I 771 - > felt upset that they would really treat my brother's jobs 772 - > as super important.

773 - > And um it just felt like as as I was going through figuring out 774 - > entrepreneurship because I didn't come from an 775 - > entrepreneurship background. 776 - > My family um my grandma was like an antique sealer so like she 777 - > did a little bit but it just wasn't the same. 778 - > SPEAKER_02: There was no grandma had her toe in there. 779 - > She she was trying she did a little something.

780 - > SPEAKER_04: She was trying um so it's not like there was there 781 - > just wasn't advice and there wasn't understanding around the 782 - > idea of this being it's a truly just a lifestyle. 783 - > It's the growth it's like allowing it to expand allowing 784 - > the process to feel uncomfortable allowing the and 785 - > they didn't want me to be uncomfortable like it all can I 786 - > can send it all back to being protective and being you know 787 - > loving but it it never came off that way when I was like in the 788 - > thick of it right and trying to make something new out of 789 - > nothing.

790 - > SPEAKER_05: Right. 791 - > SPEAKER_04: And also trying to heal my own trauma from from all 792 - > of it you know and from my own experience and just um and now I 793 - > do I've I never feel like I can't call them or anything like 794 - > that. 795 - > But they are on cruises all the time. 796 - > So I don't know in the world where they are.

797 - > Come on. 798 - > I love you. 799 - > She does but you know if I'm only able to talk to you like 800 - > one day a month because you've been on an international trip 801 - > I'm just not really sure. 802 - > And that's fine.

803 - > Like if they want to have that time I need this time for me. 804 - > Right. 805 - > And there's there's nothing about um that I'm concerned with 806 - > you know I'd like to bring them information and then let them 807 - > know how to help me manage it versus us trying to figure it 808 - > out together. 809 - > SPEAKER_02: It's just not really but I mean you know there's a 810 - > there's a part of it where you're just like that's my 811 - > parent even if you don't necessarily understand the 812 - > capacity of what I'm going through I want to be able to 813 - > talk to you about it.

814 - > Yeah. 815 - > I want to be able to tell you um and I can rationalize it like I 816 - > just did. 817 - > And I don't have that either you know it's it's really 818 - > challenging especially when you're going through some of the 819 - > hardest moments of your life you're like I just want that 820 - > comfort yeah I want my mom or I want my dad or I want whatever 821 - > to just kind of like love on me and see me. 822 - > SPEAKER_04: And it hurts it's like it's a wound that I that I 823 - > can't fill that no one else can.

824 - > Hey moneymaker you know how Angie had her list. 825 - > Angie's list was filled with amazing businesses that you 826 - > could trust well we've got ours and it's all woman owned. 827 - > Introducing the WOW directory on womanownedwallet.com a national 828 - > listing of woman-owned businesses from coast to coast 829 - > whether you're a service provider a product queen 830 - > creative entrepreneur or coach this is where you get found and 831 - > if you're a shopper this is where you go to find your next 832 - > new favorite business.

833 - > So the more we use it the more we keep our money circling in 834 - > the hands of women so if you believe in voting with your 835 - > dollars and building a future where women thrive get listed 836 - > get shopping and let's grow this thing together head to 837 - > womanownedwallet.com and click the directory to join or explore 838 - > because it's a great day to shop and be woman-owned. 839 - > Hi this is Genevieve Jacobs and I was curious what event you're 840 - > doing next that will be a tour in Hulu today is a wonderful day 841 - > for women owned businesses around the world no one else can 842 - > no one because of your parents yeah the amount of times I've 843 - > told my husband I just want my mom but I need I need my mom in 844 - > an emotional capacity and we're just we weren't in that space at 845 - > that moment but I just want someone that's going to yeah be 846 - > there and love me unconditionally and all those 847 - > things and not that she does it in her own way.

848 - > Again I just rationalize everything because I'm not 849 - > trying to make right I love her and it's just it's just not 850 - > where we are in this moment. 851 - > And I think what's good is that I'm going through a lot of these 852 - > things now and yes I do cry out for my mom. 853 - > So mom just say you know I still cry out for you little baby girl 854 - > so crystal we all do. 855 - > We all do all do it's such a natural response but I also am 856 - > very um grateful for the care team that I finally have.

857 - > I'm very grateful beyond grateful for the supportive 858 - > partner that I have because I can't tell you how many times 859 - > that you know our hyperindependence individually 860 - > could have torn us apart and it hasn't and he's um cared for his 861 - > mom in a lot of ways. 862 - > She's had like a kidney transplant and brain tumors and 863 - > other things. 864 - > So I know that his caretaking level is very high. 865 - > But also just you know there's a lot of guilt I have around from 866 - > being the sick one and there's a lot of other stuff.

867 - > So it's just um it's beautiful to and I'm grateful for the 868 - > chosen care team that I have right now and I'm just gonna sit 869 - > in that glory of that, you know? 870 - > SPEAKER_02: That's beautiful. 871 - > SPEAKER_04: Clap it up for your your new team absolutely go care 872 - > team it took me a long time to find the care team but now that 873 - > they're here they I mean I have to get like four new tests set 874 - > from my doctor's appointment yesterday. 875 - > I have like two therapists right now like one dealing with health 876 - > stuff and one dealing with like mental health like physical 877 - > health and how to get through that and then some with um 878 - > mental health um yeah just to release it all.

879 - > SPEAKER_02: Yeah it takes time it takes time to build that team 880 - > because first you have to even recognize what you need. 881 - > Yeah. 882 - > So many people don't know what they need because they haven't 883 - > even had the space to figure out what it is. 884 - > SPEAKER_04: I had to learn to have needs through the eldest 885 - > daughter vibes I was like oh no it's the needs of everyone else 886 - > that matter not my own.

887 - > SPEAKER_02: And you put yourself on the back burner and you just 888 - > continue to show up and show up and show up and then you burn 889 - > yourself out and then you're like well fuck. 890 - > We just be burnt out I'm just burnt toast over here how can 891 - > you be burnt toast and a breadwinner at the same time the 892 - > mini faces of a woman. 893 - > SPEAKER_04: I'm trying to you know what though I've been 894 - > playing around with these fun terms breadwinner and jam 895 - > winner.

896 - > And that's something my mom did tell me is that my dad paid for 897 - > the bread and she paid for the jam. 898 - > She paid for the sweet stuff of life so she would pay for the 899 - > vacations the after school activities the Halloween 900 - > costumes and I've realized through my journey because 901 - > there's so much around entrepreneurship where you need 902 - > to be the breadwinner and you need to win and whatever. 903 - > And I'm like turns out I love playing for the jam.

904 - > SPEAKER_02: Yeah that's the best part. 905 - > The sweetness of the jar it's sticky but you have to have the 906 - > jam in there especially as an entrepreneur because it's always 907 - > about the bread. 908 - > SPEAKER_04: That's the celebrating part is the jam 909 - > that's what it is that's what it is. 910 - > And see even to me the the the jam winner is like the community 911 - > person is the person that gets you to the new experiences is 912 - > the one that like explores and I think we all have breadwinner 913 - > and jam winner in in us and I think that that's really 914 - > important to to feel and to know is that we absolutely need 915 - > safety and stability and like of course you need those basic 916 - > needs met but when that when the first thing to go is the jam and 917 - > like the celebration and the sweetness and all I want people 918 - > to remember is like spread a oh my God coming for that mic.

919 - > SPEAKER_02: Coming for you bitch. 920 - > SPEAKER_04: Just kidding but spread a little bit of that jam 921 - > onto even if it's burnt up it'll taste better. 922 - > SPEAKER_03: It'll taste a lot better. 923 - > It tastes a lot better.

924 - > SPEAKER_04: I thought I could talk with my hands on this 925 - > podcast. 926 - > Apparently I'm just gonna have a fight with my microphone. 927 - > But yeah I just feel like there's there's both and 928 - > everyone and engaging with both for everyone is really 929 - > important. 930 - > Absolutely.

931 - > Yeah and especially as an entrepreneur like we were 932 - > talking about it's hard to celebrate yourself. 933 - > How do you celebrate when you feel like you did something good 934 - > because you challenged me with that and I was like I don't 935 - > know. 936 - > SPEAKER_02: Um so I I celebrate small things and big things. 937 - > I used to only wait to celebrate the big things because I'm like 938 - > it doesn't matter it doesn't count.

939 - > I'm not worth it until I achieve this. 940 - > Absolutely not I celebrate all of the small things first and 941 - > that could be um because I had the courage to connect with 942 - > someone that I typically wouldn't have or I had the 943 - > capacity to go through my email inbox and I am able to clear 944 - > that just the small things you know what I mean because are you 945 - > one of those people that clears it out every you know not every 946 - > day but you know I hate having notifications on my phone.

947 - > SPEAKER_04: It's overwhelming the people that have like 200 948 - > calls and like 300 text messages 3000 emails how are you 949 - > surviving? 950 - > SPEAKER_02: How are you surviving? 951 - > That's part of our trauma for sure I have to get it done. 952 - > SPEAKER_04: It has to be clear if it's done I don't have to 953 - > fucking think about it and then I can relax.

954 - > SPEAKER_02: And also too um I don't want them to the things 955 - > just sitting in there because then I could be missing out on 956 - > something great. 957 - > Yeah something could have passed me by or I meet may have needed 958 - > to be informed about something there's just there's just so 959 - > much happening in an email inbox and I would be absolutely crazy 960 - > if I just let that pile up to 3000 emails. 961 - > I can't do that. 962 - > SPEAKER_04: I can't do it either at least separate them out.

963 - > You know what I mean? 964 - > Like important ones I don't know but when I see that on people's 965 - > phones are like I'm that kind of person I'm like I thought I was 966 - > a turns out I'm a type A person. 967 - > SPEAKER_02: I'm type A with a splash type B. 968 - > SPEAKER_04: I like a type B sometimes I like to be flowy.

969 - > SPEAKER_02: Yeah like see how the day goes yeah absolutely but 970 - > it doesn't happen super often because I still need that 971 - > organization. 972 - > SPEAKER_04: I need some structure you know maybe that's 973 - > our breadwinner and our jam winner. 974 - > It is you know the flow is the jam you have to have a little 975 - > bit of both to be successful. 976 - > SPEAKER_02: Yeah you have to have a little bit of both to 977 - > just be happy.

978 - > SPEAKER_04: I think to be yeah minimum content it'd be nice to 979 - > be happy but yeah but how much jam you put on there maybe add 980 - > some butter you know maybe butter is the next tier listen 981 - > I'm trying to come up with all of it in the moment. 982 - > Well I've come up with I did a whole keynote on being a jam 983 - > winner and um to a room full of women and like the way that they 984 - > understood it and got it because then I went into this whole idea 985 - > of like there's four types of jam and you are one of these 986 - > four personality types typically and of course you can be mixed 987 - > jam don't even worry about it.

988 - > I'm not trying to like put everybody in a box. 989 - > Yeah but I'm trying to put you in a jar and make you be jam but 990 - > like I was trying to explain like there's cherries 991 - > strawberries raspberries and blueberries and like it depends 992 - > on how have you seen that TikTok sound that's like looks like a 993 - > cinnamon roll is a cinnamon roll yeah looks like a cinnamon roll 994 - > could kill you. 995 - > SPEAKER_03: Yes yes looks like they could kill you is a 996 - > cinnamon roll looks like I could kill you would kill you that's 997 - > all it is yeah it's the vibe.

998 - > SPEAKER_04: You have a vibe so I'm like oh I'm a strawberry I 999 - > look like a cinnamon roll and I am a cinnamon roll I just I wear 1000 - > all my seeds my heart is my seeds and I wear it on my 1001 - > sleeves. 1002 - > Yeah you know and I just put it all out there. 1003 - > SPEAKER_02: See I'm a looks like they could kill you and it is a 1004 - > cinnamon roll. 1005 - > SPEAKER_04: See I feel like you might be strawberry vibes too.

1006 - > unknown: Yeah. 1007 - > SPEAKER_04: But you want to be that's a raspberry is it? 1008 - > Yeah well I made it up I love that. 1009 - > So like you look like raspberries look kind of 1010 - > intimidating on the outside but they really are um like super 1011 - > sweet on the inside but they give a little bit of like you 1012 - > know hold on yeah hold on we gotta I gotta let me get to know 1013 - > you a little bit first let me open up yeah and then you can 1014 - > taste the sweetness of this jam.

1015 - > Absolutely you know and then blueberries are look like a 1016 - > cinnamon roll but could kill you. 1017 - > It's the opposite and then cherries because they have a big 1018 - > pit on the inside that they're really protective of that makes 1019 - > sense. 1020 - > Looks like they could kill you would kill you. 1021 - > Yeah they literally will kill you so when you go into these so 1022 - > I was telling everybody I was like there's a four pack of jam 1023 - > and that's what makes a fruitful relationship you know it's like 1024 - > a fruitful kind of community of sorts.

1025 - > And I'm like you gotta it's hard to have two strawberries 1026 - > together. 1027 - > So actually I'm kind of glad that you identify not as a 1028 - > strawberry because like we get nothing done. 1029 - > SPEAKER_02: We wouldn't it would be all whimsy no work. 1030 - > SPEAKER_04: Exactly I'm too much poison a little bit more just a 1031 - > little bit that's why you're asking if I can delegate I'm 1032 - > like yeah I just I distract everybody I'm the personality 1033 - > hire in my own company I distract everyone that is 1034 - > hilarious actually the perfect four pack I had when um I had 1035 - > three full timers we were each one of these which just made so 1036 - > much sense in my brain right now I was like no wonder it was 1037 - > working so well.

1038 - > SPEAKER_02: You need a little bit of everybody in there. 1039 - > Yeah but I think so many people think they have to fit into I 1040 - > have to be a strawberry or I have to be a blueberrier I have 1041 - > to eat and it depends on which like group you're in. 1042 - > SPEAKER_04: Yeah adjust you know I mean I'm never gonna be a 1043 - > cherry yeah because I just can't yeah no same it's too much the 1044 - > opposite I'll pass but I don't know I was actually like telling 1045 - > my mom about this at Galantine's and I was like I think she might 1046 - > be like maybe a strawberry too but then I was like maybe she's 1047 - > more protective on the inside so maybe she's a blueberry but my 1048 - > grandma who raised her and in a way because we were all three um 1049 - > we were all 30 years apart now this is a coaching Session where 1050 - > I'm just like, uh, therapy, thank you.

1051 - > I needed it. 1052 - > Um, but we were all 30 years apart. 1053 - > So it always felt like two on one. 1054 - > Like my grandma and my mom would quote unquote gang up on me and 1055 - > criticize me.

1056 - > Me and my grandma would do it to my mom, my grandma, yeah. 1057 - > And then me and my mom would do it to my grandma. 1058 - > And I was like, oh, three is not the right number. 1059 - > SPEAKER_02: Yeah, you need a fourth.

1060 - > SPEAKER_04: You need a fourth. 1061 - > Because the fourth helps you understand. 1062 - > That's what the balance is, is the fourth, and it rounds it out 1063 - > super nicely. 1064 - > And I feel like that understanding of like a cherry 1065 - > can help a strawberry understand each other because they have a 1066 - > blueberry and a raspberry too.

1067 - > I hope you guys are following this. 1068 - > But that's why, too, I really love Janice gets it. 1069 - > SPEAKER_03: Yes. 1070 - > SPEAKER_02: She's like, that's why, though, wow, it's just so 1071 - > incredible because you have the ability to have all of those 1072 - > different jams all in the same space, and you're creating this.

1073 - > Yeah. 1074 - > SPEAKER_03: I'm sorry, I fucking love buttons. 1075 - > SPEAKER_04: That's my dad and me. 1076 - > I'm almost like, what's a funny joke we're gonna tell?

1077 - > Uh, let's have a jam sesh. 1078 - > Yes. 1079 - > Oh, it's so cute. 1080 - > SPEAKER_02: It is cute.

1081 - > SPEAKER_04: It is the whimsy. 1082 - > SPEAKER_02: You might have to like add some fruit or something 1083 - > too. 1084 - > SPEAKER_04: Have I already drawn them? 1085 - > SPEAKER_02: Yes.

1086 - > SPEAKER_04: Am I working on a book for them? 1087 - > Yes. 1088 - > SPEAKER_02: Don't you worry. 1089 - > SPEAKER_04: Okay, now that I said it.

1090 - > SPEAKER_02: Now you have to do it. 1091 - > SPEAKER_04: I wrote a kid's book last year, and it's about Penny 1092 - > the Piggy Bank and her two twin piggy bank little sisters. 1093 - > Maxie, she spends every cent she gets, and Minnie will not spend 1094 - > a cent. 1095 - > And I introduced it to my family at Pink Miss Bash because guess 1096 - > what?

1097 - > It's a story of our family. 1098 - > And so my mom and my older brother spend every cent, and my 1099 - > younger brother and my dad spend no cents. 1100 - > And I've been in the middle being Penny trying to help him 1101 - > figure it out. 1102 - > And um, my grandma, she, my dad's mom, she passed before I 1103 - > was born, but she um had copper red hair, so she went by Penny 1104 - > like as like a nickname.

1105 - > So, like when I showed this to my dad, like my dad's a 1106 - > sentimental man. 1107 - > I like that wicked song is about my dad. 1108 - > So sentimental man. 1109 - > But like I feel that same sentimentality, and this feels 1110 - > very much like the legacy.

1111 - > And so I'm like, oh, this is just gonna be another book about 1112 - > Penny educating her sisters on how I always wanted sisters, on 1113 - > how to like create a fruitful community and like all benefit 1114 - > each other. 1115 - > SPEAKER_02: I love, isn't that what all of this really is 1116 - > though? 1117 - > Yeah is just making your personal life a testimony, yeah. 1118 - > So that other people can make it.

1119 - > I'm trying to be seen and heard. 1120 - > SPEAKER_04: Like it's not that I need attention. 1121 - > I just need that's what makes me feel safe. 1122 - > SPEAKER_02: Yeah.

1123 - > SPEAKER_04: Is like, oh, you will see me and you will hear 1124 - > me. 1125 - > And they they saw and heard that book so beautifully. 1126 - > SPEAKER_02: That's awesome. 1127 - > My mom, my mom's maxi.

1128 - > SPEAKER_04: Yeah. 1129 - > SPEAKER_02: I think most of my family's maxi. 1130 - > SPEAKER_04: See, and I feel like when you can see yourself in 1131 - > something, that you're just like, again, it's like, it's 1132 - > just a fun way to interact with yourself and how to see yourself 1133 - > in the way that you truly are, and then how to present that to 1134 - > the world. 1135 - > SPEAKER_02: And then when you know if you want to make some 1136 - > adjustments, you know, if you're maxy but you're trying to be an 1137 - > entrepreneur or buy a house or something like that, you can't 1138 - > keep being maxi.

1139 - > SPEAKER_04: We gotta make some adjustments. 1140 - > You gotta be penny. 1141 - > Uh-huh. 1142 - > Yeah, you gotta be in the middle.

1143 - > Yeah. 1144 - > Because the middle is the gray area, and that's where 1145 - > everything actually happens. 1146 - > It really is. 1147 - > Nothing happens in the extremes.

1148 - > I mean, people want stuff to happen in the extremes, but I'm 1149 - > like, nobody really enjoys that. 1150 - > No, it doesn't go anywhere. 1151 - > SPEAKER_02: The highs and the lows, and it's just so up and 1152 - > down the gray area is exactly where all of the sustainability 1153 - > happens. 1154 - > SPEAKER_04: Yeah.

1155 - > Well, now that I've told you my whole fucking story, I want to 1156 - > hear they've already heard it. 1157 - > So sorry, y'all. 1158 - > Well, I guess not all of it, because I haven't recorded in a 1159 - > minute, but I'm glad, um, I'm glad to know that. 1160 - > But yeah, that's that's how the story kind of came about was 1161 - > like growing up in that environment.

1162 - > So as you were growing up, like, do you have money memories like 1163 - > growing up? 1164 - > Like, how was it treated? 1165 - > How was it talked about? 1166 - > And kind of I'm trying to find how that manifests in your life 1167 - > now.

1168 - > SPEAKER_02: So I'll tell you exactly how it manifests in my 1169 - > life. 1170 - > SPEAKER_04: So manifested. 1171 - > SPEAKER_02: Um, money in my household, it was a tool to 1172 - > purchase things. 1173 - > It was never looked at as like a tool to invest or to be spar 1174 - > smarter or more strategic.

1175 - > It was always just the more money you have, the more shit 1176 - > you buy. 1177 - > SPEAKER_04: The more things. 1178 - > Yeah. 1179 - > Yeah.

1180 - > SPEAKER_02: And the way that a lot of people in my family show 1181 - > that they love or they care for you is by purchasing things. 1182 - > Yeah, gift giving. 1183 - > And because that was what I grew up with, my money mindset was if 1184 - > I don't earn it, if I'm not a good person, I don't deserve to 1185 - > have money. 1186 - > SPEAKER_04: Oh, if I'm not a good person.

1187 - > SPEAKER_02: Oh, yeah. 1188 - > That that one was a tough one to get around, right? 1189 - > SPEAKER_04: Yeah. 1190 - > SPEAKER_02: Yeah.

1191 - > To feel. 1192 - > Because you think as soon as I'm not doing something, especially 1193 - > when you add the people pleasing in there, and then you add the 1194 - > minimizing yourself, you add not knowing who you are, you add all 1195 - > of these different variables, and then you put that all into a 1196 - > money mindset. 1197 - > So then you get to a point to where you're like, I am not 1198 - > worthy to earn large amounts of money. 1199 - > I'm not worthy to be able to profit from these things that 1200 - > I'm producing and that I'm trying to do.

1201 - > So I thought that I had to work X amount of hours because you 1202 - > know that's what our good old country wants us to think. 1203 - > SPEAKER_05: Capitalism. 1204 - > SPEAKER_02: I had to work X amount of hours in order to earn 1205 - > this amount of money. 1206 - > And then I had to do it in this type of capacity.

1207 - > I had to show up like this, I had to be miserable, and I had 1208 - > to do what everybody else wanted me to do in order for me to be 1209 - > good enough to have a paycheck. 1210 - > SPEAKER_04: Right. 1211 - > SPEAKER_02: That was my mindset about money for probably up 1212 - > until about four to five years ago. 1213 - > So it impacted my whole entire life.

1214 - > And then you get the excessive spending. 1215 - > Yeah. 1216 - > You got to keep up with the Joneses. 1217 - > So I was always purchasing and who the hell are the Joneses?

1218 - > SPEAKER_04: I don't fucking know the Jones. 1219 - > SPEAKER_02: And why are they not helping if they got all the shit 1220 - > they got? 1221 - > Okay. 1222 - > But, anyways, um they gonna be showing off.

1223 - > SPEAKER_05: Put it in the community pot. 1224 - > SPEAKER_02: Just kidding. 1225 - > Help somebody out, please. 1226 - > I had that mindset for so long, and I had to do a lot of 1227 - > internal work to realize that that's why I wasn't making what 1228 - > I wanted to make.

1229 - > That's why I wasn't progressing in the way that I wanted to 1230 - > progress. 1231 - > That's why my business wasn't successful, is because I thought 1232 - > I wasn't worthy. 1233 - > SPEAKER_04: Yeah. 1234 - > How long have you had your business?

1235 - > SPEAKER_02: Four years. 1236 - > So it was right at the same time. 1237 - > At the same time. 1238 - > That shift happened right as I was starting to get into it.

1239 - > So I did MVP in I signed up for it in 2022. 1240 - > I competed in one in 2023. 1241 - > And that's about when I was starting to build everything. 1242 - > I didn't even know that I wanted to move into the business 1243 - > sector.

1244 - > I just knew that I wanted to help people, right? 1245 - > Because we all lead with our passion. 1246 - > SPEAKER_05: Yeah. 1247 - > SPEAKER_02: So I knew I wanted to help people, and then it kind 1248 - > of just developed over time.

1249 - > But all of that was just happening, having to shift that 1250 - > mindset and understand that one, stop trading your time for your 1251 - > money. 1252 - > Two, I have to understand that I don't have to look, do, and be a 1253 - > certain type of way in order to be able to earn that money. 1254 - > SPEAKER_04: Yeah. 1255 - > Not me writing this down in my diary tonight.

1256 - > SPEAKER_02: It's really exhausting. 1257 - > SPEAKER_04: Hey Moneymaker, did you know that one of the most 1258 - > powerful things you can do with your dollar is decide where it 1259 - > goes? 1260 - > Introducing the Woman-owned wallet tour, your new favorite 1261 - > way to explore cities through the lens of woman-owned. 1262 - > From cafes and boutiques to salons and sweet spots, we're 1263 - > mapping out the baddest businesses powered by women.

1264 - > Think of it as a self-guided tour. 1265 - > Meets empowerment hour. 1266 - > Grab your friends, your wallet, and your walk-in shoes because 1267 - > we've done the research so you can do the shopping. 1268 - > Every stop you make puts money directly into the wallets of 1269 - > women.

1270 - > And around here, that's the goal. 1271 - > Ready to walk the walk? 1272 - > Visit womanownedwallet.com or come into our storefront in 1273 - > Mobile, Kentucky, and start exploring women-owned businesses 1274 - > near you.

1275 - > Thanks for calling Woman Owned Wallet the Hotline. 1276 - > SPEAKER_06: Women forever. 1277 - > Love us. 1278 - > Bye.

1279 - > This store is very amazing. 1280 - > It's so cool. 1281 - > Your shop is like you just. 1282 - > I love all the pink.

1283 - > Um, and I love that you're supporting women. 1284 - > Keep on doing what you're doing. 1285 - > All right, bye. 1286 - > SPEAKER_02: It's really exhausting.

1287 - > SPEAKER_03: It is. 1288 - > SPEAKER_02: Because you're in your head all of the time. 1289 - > Every email you send, every new aspect you bring to your 1290 - > business, every part of you is second-guessing your worth. 1291 - > Then you downplay your pricing and you're giving these people 1292 - > all of this extra and you're barely getting paid anything.

1293 - > I remember at one point, I was charging people$50 for me to go 1294 - > and speak for an hour. 1295 - > Oh goodness. 1296 - > $50, Amanda. 1297 - > Because I thought that I did not I wasn't worthy of earning more 1298 - > than that.

1299 - > SPEAKER_04: Were you charging$50 an hour at the time? 1300 - > And so you just put it on that and not to include like all the 1301 - > travel time there and all the time you had to prepare. 1302 - > SPEAKER_02: And then I'm a very interactive type of speaker 1303 - > because I can't stand speaking at someone. 1304 - > SPEAKER_04: Yeah, I don't want to do anything at you.

1305 - > No. 1306 - > I want to do it with you. 1307 - > SPEAKER_02: I want you to be involved. 1308 - > And I want you to really take so much away from this and learn 1309 - > and not even realize you're learning all of these things.

1310 - > And you're just, you know, like, wow, I really enjoyed that. 1311 - > So I'm a very interactive speaker and making it 1312 - > interactive and all of the things. 1313 - > And I'm one that I love to like give gifts and props and goodie 1314 - > bags and all the things. 1315 - > And I'm doing all of this and now you're negative$400.

1316 - > SPEAKER_04: I know. 1317 - > Dude, can I tell you? 1318 - > I actually still feel kind of weird about it. 1319 - > Last week, um, the Kentucky Department of Economic 1320 - > Development, Kentucky, I forget what the acronym is, 1321 - > association, whatever.

1322 - > They reached out to me last fall and they were like, yeah, and it 1323 - > was a friend. 1324 - > It was over text. 1325 - > And so I was like, yeah, I'll speak it, whatever. 1326 - > And um, you know, just not thinking about it, not having 1327 - > this like whole healing kind of closing the store and then 1328 - > realizing I really needed to heal and I really actually need 1329 - > a lot of rest.

1330 - > And if I'm gonna go out, it really does take a lot of 1331 - > energy. 1332 - > SPEAKER_05: Yeah. 1333 - > SPEAKER_04: Um, so I like talked to their team who had let go of 1334 - > my friend by the time we chatted. 1335 - > So then I'm talking to somebody new, and she we were totally 1336 - > polite, totally civil, nothing's wrong.

1337 - > Right. 1338 - > But in our conversation, I after our conversation, which is on me 1339 - > too, but I realized that I would have been the only person in the 1340 - > room not being paid from my perspective. 1341 - > And I And why was that? 1342 - > So everyone that would be in the economic development department 1343 - > for Kentucky would be being paid by the city, by the state.

1344 - > The other two speakers are both work for the city or the state, 1345 - > I'm not sure. 1346 - > I think both for the city. 1347 - > And I respect them and love them. 1348 - > Like, and I was like, oh my gosh, I'm like just so 1349 - > prestigious that I get to like be on the same stage.

1350 - > It was with my girl Gretchen, and she's been on the pod and 1351 - > I'm obsessed with her. 1352 - > So of course I'm just like, You guys think I'm cool? 1353 - > Yeah. 1354 - > Thank you.

1355 - > Like, that's so kind. 1356 - > And then I but when I realized that, and then she was just 1357 - > like, Well, there's no budget for this, and you you didn't 1358 - > tell us when it first started, I was like, hold on, we also need 1359 - > to change this conversation. 1360 - > Then there is a budget for it. 1361 - > You were offering me lunch, and not that I always need to be 1362 - > paid for everything.

1363 - > I do, I do plenty of stuff that's not, but it wasn't 1364 - > upfront, you know. 1365 - > And then when I don't want to be the only one in the room, yeah, 1366 - > not being paid. 1367 - > If we're doing something all together, like I fucking get it 1368 - > and I'm I'm down. 1369 - > But like I can't be the only one in the room.

1370 - > And I keep going back to that because that's so against 1371 - > everything that I talk to every single person about and how to 1372 - > help them negotiate and how to help them feel worthy of it. 1373 - > And I realized that I was worthy of it, and I gave a quote, it 1374 - > was like 300 bucks. 1375 - > And that was because they wanted me to hang out from 10 a.m.

1376 - > to 4 p.m. 1377 - > Oh. 1378 - > So all I did was make six hours at 50 bucks to your point.

1379 - > SPEAKER_02: Oh my goodness. 1380 - > SPEAKER_04: And I was like, oh, I guess I can hang out. 1381 - > Like I was curious, but then I'd realized like the two women 1382 - > speaking that I know, I've heard these speeches, and not that I 1383 - > wouldn't want to hear them again and respect them and be there, 1384 - > but also like it takes a lot of time and a lot of energy for me 1385 - > to be in a flare-up of my disease and to show up somewhere 1386 - > where I would think I could help my cause because I'm talking to 1387 - > the Economic Development Center.

1388 - > This is where I feel weird about it. 1389 - > I think I could have helped my cause by doing it for free, but 1390 - > I also think I hurt my cause by doing it for free. 1391 - > And so I've like, I said that and then she kind of came back 1392 - > and, you know, I left them hanging, like on me. 1393 - > I don't do that.

1394 - > So I also felt weird about that. 1395 - > But I wasn't gonna nominate another entrepreneur and be 1396 - > like, go call them when they're not paying anything to share 1397 - > your like I every day am working in economic development and 1398 - > community engagement, and you're asking for me to create slides 1399 - > and to have some kind of presentation. 1400 - > Like that takes me a lot of time. 1401 - > SPEAKER_03: Absolutely.

1402 - > SPEAKER_04: And not that I shouldn't be doing that. 1403 - > It, you know, I can listen to me. 1404 - > I fucking justify everything. 1405 - > SPEAKER_02: Justifying it, yes, they should have paid you.

1406 - > That's the end of the story. 1407 - > SPEAKER_04: But they said they had no budget, and I was like, 1408 - > you're paying all these people to come from all over the state 1409 - > to sit in a room for six hours. 1410 - > You have a budget. 1411 - > SPEAKER_02: They do.

1412 - > They just didn't want to include you in that budget. 1413 - > And then they also, on top of that, thought that they were 1414 - > approaching the type of person that would go ahead and 1415 - > willingly do it without getting paid. 1416 - > SPEAKER_04: Exactly. 1417 - > And I'm like, how many times that you know what the city just 1418 - > did to me?

1419 - > They just put construction, actually, the state, it was a 1420 - > state road, construction in front of my business for a year 1421 - > and a half, and it cost me $150,000. 1422 - > Wow. 1423 - > Like in revenue drop. 1424 - > SPEAKER_05: Yeah.

1425 - > SPEAKER_04: And I had to let go of three people that were my jam 1426 - > sesh that could have made so much more impact. 1427 - > So if you won't even have 300 bucks to hear this, the story 1428 - > that I wasn't even gonna tell that exact story. 1429 - > I have this map I made of all the new loot businesses and how 1430 - > it's grown, and that's what we're gonna talk about. 1431 - > SPEAKER_05: Right.

1432 - > SPEAKER_04: And in that way, I'm like, okay, I could have like 1433 - > pushed my mission forward. 1434 - > But I also do that every day by myself, you know, and within my 1435 - > own community of people that are telling me to let them pay, let 1436 - > them pay me. 1437 - > And I'm just like, I'm just in a in a space where I'm I just 1438 - > don't want it at this moment. 1439 - > Like it'll come.

1440 - > Like, please help me out. 1441 - > But, you know, like please value this. 1442 - > Yeah. 1443 - > But also I'm just in a this transition.

1444 - > So I just I felt so weird about it for a little bit. 1445 - > And I still do because I think I could have helped my cause, but 1446 - > I but going back to them, and they were a little, just a 1447 - > little sassy. 1448 - > I was in the cardiologist's office trying to, I had to get a 1449 - > little heart monitor because I had so many heart palpitations. 1450 - > I was sitting there and I responded to the email.

1451 - > Shouldn't have done that. 1452 - > But I was just like, when I do think there should be a speaker 1453 - > fee included next year, I would be happy to work with y'all 1454 - > then. 1455 - > I do think it should not just be on the entrepreneur to have to 1456 - > ask. 1457 - > I think it should be explicit what's available and that there 1458 - > it is a, you know, no fee available or whatever.

1459 - > And if we had started that place, not on a text message 1460 - > with my friend, because she was like, You should have told us 1461 - > this last fall. 1462 - > And I'm like, I mean, a text to my friend when I was like going 1463 - > through all these other things, like it just was exploratory. 1464 - > SPEAKER_02: It wasn't like you were signing the contract. 1465 - > SPEAKER_04: I didn't sign any contract.

1466 - > I just said sure, you know, to a friend. 1467 - > And like now it just felt like they were trying to just place 1468 - > this blame on me. 1469 - > And I'm just like, well, chill out. 1470 - > We could both figure this out.

1471 - > And you're still gonna talk about something in this meeting. 1472 - > It was like 30 minutes that you wanted me to talk, and then you 1473 - > wanted me to take questions from people all over the state. 1474 - > And I said, then at least pay some of my sales taxes, then at 1475 - > least help me pay, at least help me get out of debt for all the 1476 - > things that I've had to learn. 1477 - > That y'all get paid to sit in a room and learn from someone not.

1478 - > And I just it felt it still feels weird to me. 1479 - > And it's not I just think I think it's the economic 1480 - > development piece that I'm like, I want to get that out there. 1481 - > But I also don't want to be taken advantage of in any of 1482 - > these situations. 1483 - > And by standing up for myself, I'm standing up for other 1484 - > entrepreneurs and allowing them the opportunity to change this 1485 - > for the future.

1486 - > SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I don't think that's it. 1487 - > I don't think that you should feel bad about that in any 1488 - > capacity because they were definitely trying to take 1489 - > advantage of you. 1490 - > Especially because if you are worthy enough to get up there, 1491 - > just talk to all of those people that they're bringing in across 1492 - > the entire state. 1493 - > How are you also not worthy enough to be paid for your 1494 - > knowledge?

1495 - > SPEAKER_04: Right. 1496 - > I'm like, you want practical perspective and advice to uh 1497 - > hello, happy to provide. 1498 - > I I just think I because I wanted to provide it. 1499 - > SPEAKER_02: That's where I feel like a little Right, because 1500 - > you're being tugged back and forth between the this is my 1501 - > purpose, yeah, but also to this is my value.

1502 - > Yeah. 1503 - > Right. 1504 - > And you can still be aligned with your purpose and if it and 1505 - > have your value there at the same time. 1506 - > That's a really difficult space to navigate.

1507 - > SPEAKER_05: Yeah. 1508 - > SPEAKER_02: But you have to go through experiences like that so 1509 - > that you put your foot down so that you're more comfortable to 1510 - > do that in the beginning. 1511 - > And now if someone ever approaches you like that, I 1512 - > guarantee you in the beginning, you're gonna talk numbers out 1513 - > the gate. 1514 - > Yeah.

1515 - > SPEAKER_04: And I usually do like I I think I just got caught 1516 - > off a little bit where I'm just like, hey, I just want to know 1517 - > what's up. 1518 - > Like, what should I be expecting? 1519 - > SPEAKER_03: Yeah. 1520 - > SPEAKER_04: And if it's nothing and I could can make sure that 1521 - > it works for me, that's a different situation.

1522 - > But this wouldn't have been that. 1523 - > SPEAKER_05: Right. 1524 - > SPEAKER_04: Like I was taking this over other things. 1525 - > And I spent most of that day in my bed because I was having a 1526 - > massive flare-up anyway.

1527 - > So I was like, okay. 1528 - > SPEAKER_02: They wanted your expertise, but they didn't want 1529 - > to pay you for it. 1530 - > Yeah. 1531 - > Definitely.

1532 - > SPEAKER_04: And I that okay, so when we were started and we were 1533 - > talking about this because now I am just in a coaching session, 1534 - > and I'm like, I actually do need some advice. 1535 - > It's like I really am trying to figure out how to charge for 1536 - > services, like we were chatting about a little bit before. 1537 - > I keep fucking saying that. 1538 - > Sorry, y'all.

1539 - > At least when bringing it up now. 1540 - > Um, but I feel like I've always sold product, and now people do 1541 - > are requesting, like I've given multiple keynote speeches, I've 1542 - > hosted um nonprofit like auction kind of things or events. 1543 - > And I don't ext again, it's not payment or not payment. 1544 - > It's it aligned and I felt good about it and fine.

1545 - > But I don't really know how to feel confident in selling my 1546 - > expertise. 1547 - > I really think that's probably what it is. 1548 - > Whereas like I've been selling my own art for such a long time, 1549 - > I understand that and I make it, and then I'm like, yeah, it 1550 - > matters. 1551 - > See?

1552 - > SPEAKER_02: So when you first sold that first piece of art, 1553 - > were you confident then? 1554 - > SPEAKER_04: I sold a headband for$2 in my dorm room. 1555 - > SPEAKER_02: Out of my dorm room. 1556 - > So this doesn't come overnight, right?

1557 - > This confidence that you built up to get to that point to where 1558 - > you had your storefront, that doesn't come overnight. 1559 - > SPEAKER_04: Yeah. 1560 - > SPEAKER_02: It's only gonna come after you continue to request 1561 - > put your foot down and request what you're worth. 1562 - > It's gonna be ugly and uncomfortable.

1563 - > That's why a lot of people stop. 1564 - > SPEAKER_04: That's why we stop. 1565 - > Yeah, they stopped. 1566 - > I can say it to y'all, but I can't.

1567 - > SPEAKER_02: It's harder when you have to apply it to yourself. 1568 - > SPEAKER_04: And it wasn't even like I asked for thousands, you 1569 - > know what I mean? 1570 - > Which even if you did, still would be should be on the table, 1571 - > you know? 1572 - > Absolutely.

1573 - > But I'm like, because the value of what they're asking for is 1574 - > all of this. 1575 - > But then I yeah. 1576 - > SPEAKER_02: So then it sounds like then we you need to get 1577 - > back to the core of what your value is. 1578 - > Yeah.

1579 - > What is your value? 1580 - > Which you don't have to answer that now because that's gonna 1581 - > take you some time. 1582 - > Yeah, I don't know. 1583 - > But you need to sit down with sit down with yourself and like 1584 - > really evaluate what you have to offer, right?

1585 - > And then map it out for yourself. 1586 - > Okay, I do this. 1587 - > This is what it takes. 1588 - > This is what I need to do to prepare for it, if I have to 1589 - > travel, if I'm going to different city-states, whatever, 1590 - > and map out exactly what that looks like.

1591 - > And then you just gotta be comfortable asking for it. 1592 - > SPEAKER_04: And then text it to you. 1593 - > SPEAKER_02: Yeah, and then I'll confirm that that's good to go. 1594 - > SPEAKER_04: Validate it, or you'll be like, bitch, double 1595 - > it.

1596 - > SPEAKER_02: I'm always here for double it. 1597 - > SPEAKER_04: I'm always here for that too. 1598 - > Because we undervalue it. 1599 - > SPEAKER_02: Yeah.

1600 - > SPEAKER_04: I think I've just been undervalued so long that 1601 - > I'm just and I'm just that's what created the burnout. 1602 - > That's created the exhaustion as we were talking about it. 1603 - > SPEAKER_02: And it's just like everybody else has done it to 1604 - > us, so it's like it's almost a habit. 1605 - > SPEAKER_04: Yeah, doing it to myself didn't feel it felt wrong 1606 - > normal to step up.

1607 - > And I'm like, I step up all the time. 1608 - > What and then if this was someone else, what would you 1609 - > tell them? 1610 - > The same thing you told me. 1611 - > Double it, triple it.

1612 - > Why are you only asking for your bare minimum? 1613 - > SPEAKER_02: Uh-huh. 1614 - > Absolutely. 1615 - > SPEAKER_04: I was so sappy and like crying this morning.

1616 - > I was like, where am I at in this cycle? 1617 - > What's up? 1618 - > And I was like, I just needed, I just have been like open. 1619 - > And like, I opened a bunch of stuff this week in therapy and 1620 - > stuff, and I'm just like, great.

1621 - > SPEAKER_02: Yeah. 1622 - > But then that means you're about to transition. 1623 - > SPEAKER_04: I know, right? 1624 - > I'm like, it means I am brave and courageous for even opening 1625 - > it.

1626 - > Yep. 1627 - > And that I'm in I'm in it. 1628 - > And that's fine. 1629 - > I like to be in it.

1630 - > SPEAKER_02: That means you're about to be propelled forward. 1631 - > SPEAKER_04: You gotta, I do. 1632 - > I heard that somewhere random over the last 17 years of like 1633 - > thinking of yourself as like when you do pull yourself back 1634 - > from situations or yeah, and to your point, like this could just 1635 - > be part of my slingshot moment of like the feeling of 1636 - > uncomfortable is the pulling back and then the release 1637 - > forward. 1638 - > It's like going from having a storefront to now going more 1639 - > into the content, more into the YouTube world and the podcast 1640 - > world even further, even though I've had this podcast for four 1641 - > years, it feels very um foreign because it does feel tied to my 1642 - > self-worth in a way that having a product didn't.

1643 - > SPEAKER_02: Yeah. 1644 - > Because you have to be raw here. 1645 - > You have to be vulnerable. 1646 - > In your in your storefront, you just get come in, sell 1647 - > something, yeah, be kind to someone, and that's done.

1648 - > Yeah. 1649 - > Here you can't do that. 1650 - > Yeah. 1651 - > Oh, you gotta give them the real and the raw.

1652 - > Giving it to y'all. 1653 - > Oh, goodness. 1654 - > Yes. 1655 - > SPEAKER_04: Thanks for coaching me today, Best of C.

1656 - > Of course. 1657 - > Of course. 1658 - > My heart is like, It's what I do. 1659 - > SPEAKER_02: I love it.

1660 - > SPEAKER_04: I'm happy to have it. 1661 - > SPEAKER_02: I it's what I do. 1662 - > I love doing it so much. 1663 - > I know.

1664 - > It just comes out, it exudes in me naturally. 1665 - > Even if I don't know you, even if you're not even trying to go 1666 - > down that route, there's just something in me that pulls it 1667 - > out of people, and I just love it. 1668 - > SPEAKER_04: Yeah, it's that raspberry. 1669 - > SPEAKER_02: I love it.

1670 - > SPEAKER_04: I know. 1671 - > And usually I'm sitting on your side where I'm like pulling it 1672 - > out too. 1673 - > But I'm like, I just needed you today. 1674 - > I needed you in this moment.

1675 - > I needed this conversation. 1676 - > And I just I'm really grateful for it. 1677 - > SPEAKER_03: Thank you. 1678 - > SPEAKER_04: Thanks for being part of my care team.

1679 - > I'm grateful. 1680 - > SPEAKER_03: Which one? 1681 - > Applause. 1682 - > Yeah, let's do that one.

1683 - > No, that there we go. 1684 - > She was like pointing, like, give me a sound. 1685 - > Get the sound popping for that. 1686 - > SPEAKER_04: I gotta like get used to doing the sound.

1687 - > How do we like a DJ? 1688 - > SPEAKER_02: Stickers on them. 1689 - > You're right. 1690 - > And label them.

1691 - > You're smart. 1692 - > SPEAKER_04: I could change these and I need to have that, like, 1693 - > so I don't have to look up here. 1694 - > I can just press it. 1695 - > Yeah.

1696 - > Be ready. 1697 - > Ready with the um the comedic relief of the sounds. 1698 - > SPEAKER_02: After trauma dumping. 1699 - > unknown: Yeah.

1700 - > SPEAKER_04: And that's what I'm saying. 1701 - > Like, we don't need small talk. 1702 - > I'm like, who hurt you? 1703 - > Let's talk about it.

1704 - > SPEAKER_02: And how old were you when it happened? 1705 - > SPEAKER_04: Yeah. 1706 - > SPEAKER_02: How long has this been going on? 1707 - > SPEAKER_04: And it's it's not even that they did it to you, 1708 - > but how did you receive it?

1709 - > How did that how has that impacted how you show up in your 1710 - > life now? 1711 - > And in so much therapy. 1712 - > Just the way you approach, like we've approached any of this is 1713 - > like with the openness of it. 1714 - > I'm just like obsessed.

1715 - > SPEAKER_02: That's what you have to be though. 1716 - > SPEAKER_04: Yeah. 1717 - > SPEAKER_02: Because when you're not and you're yeah closed off 1718 - > and you're you're not gonna get very far like that. 1719 - > SPEAKER_04: So with elevated impact, do you feel like you're 1720 - > a therapist a lot of times?

1721 - > Even though um I know I obviously know how much that 1722 - > takes and I respect it so much. 1723 - > But like, does that does it feel like the coaching? 1724 - > Because you you ask me all those questions and I'm just like 1725 - > spilling. 1726 - > SPEAKER_02: For sure.

1727 - > It's um honestly, it's like the notch right. 1728 - > Like I said, I don't want to take away from anything, 1729 - > anything that therapists do. 1730 - > No, but it's literally the notch right below it. 1731 - > unknown: Yeah.

1732 - > SPEAKER_02: Um, because I'm practically getting through 1733 - > everything that you would go through with your therapist 1734 - > because we have to break down those barriers. 1735 - > I have to really get to know you on the deepest levels. 1736 - > And then I have to have not only you be honest, but I have to 1737 - > also be honest and transparent. 1738 - > But I like to say the biggest difference between me and a 1739 - > therapist is, you know, they'll walk you through things and talk 1740 - > you through things and things like that.

1741 - > But I'm a very action-oriented person. 1742 - > Um, and that's my coaching style. 1743 - > We're gonna talk about it, but then after I hear you 1744 - > complaining or saying the same thing on repeat after so many 1745 - > times, okay, let's create a plan. 1746 - > SPEAKER_04: Yeah.

1747 - > SPEAKER_02: Let's create an action behind it so that you 1748 - > don't have to keep feeling like this or you don't have to keep 1749 - > going through those things. 1750 - > So that's why um it's really important that I work with 1751 - > people that are ready to make the change. 1752 - > Because you have to really, really want it more than 1753 - > anything, because we're going to come up with an action plan and 1754 - > I'm going to make sure that you follow it. 1755 - > Um, I'm the type that's gonna check in and make sure, and you 1756 - > know what I mean.

1757 - > And if it's not working for you, then we're gonna come back to 1758 - > the drawing board and we'll tweak it and then we'll move 1759 - > forward with the next action. 1760 - > But we're not gonna just sit and let you become a victim of your 1761 - > circumstances. 1762 - > Absolutely not. 1763 - > Because you can't reach the level of success, happiness, 1764 - > peace, or whatever you're looking for if we're just 1765 - > sitting here talking about it all the time.

1766 - > SPEAKER_04: Yeah, it's like the accountability aspect comes 1767 - > along with it. 1768 - > Which don't get me wrong, in therapy, there's a lot of 1769 - > identifying the feelings and I de and understanding how to 1770 - > communicate them. 1771 - > And that um, I always say that my therapists had given me a lot 1772 - > of like tools for my tool belt. 1773 - > SPEAKER_05: Right.

1774 - > SPEAKER_04: Um, but yeah, you go in with different things each 1775 - > time. 1776 - > And with you, I do understand like, yeah, the action plan. 1777 - > Like uh, you want to hold their hand along the journey to make 1778 - > sure that they make it through the journey. 1779 - > SPEAKER_05: Absolutely.

1780 - > SPEAKER_04: And I think that that's really beautiful. 1781 - > And in a lot of ways, people still have a lot of things 1782 - > around therapy and feeling like it's, you know, somehow taboo. 1783 - > A little apprehensive about it, a little apprehensive. 1784 - > And do you feel like they're more open to coaching kind of 1785 - > like does it feel more um I feel like it feels less invasive.

1786 - > Yeah. 1787 - > And I mean, a lot of what you're talking about is working with 1788 - > companies, working in a career sense. 1789 - > SPEAKER_02: Yes, in a career sense, although some of the same 1790 - > type of topics may be approached, um, but it's not as 1791 - > invasive. 1792 - > You know what I mean?

1793 - > We may not necessarily get into why unless you're wanting to, 1794 - > because I'm open to that too. 1795 - > Because the dig the deeper you want to dig, the more that I can 1796 - > help you overcome certain barriers. 1797 - > But we don't necessarily have to get into why, you know, you felt 1798 - > this way at the age of 10 or trauma. 1799 - > You don't do what I do.

1800 - > SPEAKER_04: We don't have to if you don't want to. 1801 - > SPEAKER_02: It's not a requirement, but I'm definitely 1802 - > open to it and I encourage it. 1803 - > SPEAKER_04: Yeah. 1804 - > SPEAKER_02: Because that's when you really start healing and 1805 - > that's when your life really changes.

1806 - > SPEAKER_04: But the more you know. 1807 - > SPEAKER_02: Yeah. 1808 - > SPEAKER_04: The more you know, the more you can help someone. 1809 - > Yes, you just heal up into that.

1810 - > Yes. 1811 - > SPEAKER_02: When it comes to organizations though, it's as 1812 - > deep as the company's willing to go. 1813 - > SPEAKER_04: Yeah, of course. 1814 - > You know, you know, so in a lot of like situations, like, and I 1815 - > kind of think it's a even a good introduction, you know, in a 1816 - > way, because it does have parameters in this context.

1817 - > If you're working with a company and you're an employee, or or if 1818 - > you're looking for that next thing, like you do understand 1819 - > this is gonna be about career, you know, and that's what we're 1820 - > gonna work on and that's what we're gonna focus on. 1821 - > I'm assuming. 1822 - > SPEAKER_05: Yes. 1823 - > SPEAKER_04: And obviously you can go deeper and you can do all 1824 - > these things, but it is nice to have those parameters to get 1825 - > started.

1826 - > So if you've been feeling that way and you're like, man, I 1827 - > listen to you all the time, but I don't know who to call. 1828 - > You one, you can call me on for hire, but I don't do what 1829 - > elevated impact does. 1830 - > I don't do what Shaunice does. 1831 - > So you need to be calling her.

1832 - > Yeah, you just heard her walk me through a bunch of my shit. 1833 - > And also really helped me because my my belly feels a 1834 - > little bit better. 1835 - > SPEAKER_02: Because you know you get a little like butterflies, 1836 - > but like I like fake through like 20 times like that's one of 1837 - > the main spaces that we hold the trauma, the anxiety. 1838 - > It's all in your gastro.

1839 - > Yeah, she knows. 1840 - > She said, mm-mm, it's not right. 1841 - > You all have you have to get it all into alignment. 1842 - > The what you put into your body has to be uh well-rounded and 1843 - > healthy.

1844 - > What you're consuming, that means the social media, ladies 1845 - > and gentlemen, okay. 1846 - > What you are consuming and the people you surround yourself by 1847 - > is impacting you far more than you realize. 1848 - > Uh the top five people, think of the top five people that are in 1849 - > your life, those are the five people that you're the most 1850 - > like. 1851 - > So if you don't like what those people are doing in their life 1852 - > or for their life or anything regarding their life, you are 1853 - > becoming that subconsciously.

1854 - > So you might have to shift some of those people. 1855 - > Does that mean setting boundaries? 1856 - > Does that mean sometimes losing relationships? 1857 - > Some of the relationships that I had five years ago are not the 1858 - > same relationships that I have now.

1859 - > You know, um a lot of things have shifted and changed, but 1860 - > I've become the fullest, most authentic version of myself 1861 - > within that. 1862 - > Yeah. 1863 - > SPEAKER_04: So I'm making happy for you. 1864 - > SPEAKER_02: Yeah.

1865 - > SPEAKER_04: Like that's the important that's what I want 1866 - > everybody to feel. 1867 - > SPEAKER_02: It's so powerful. 1868 - > And a lot of people don't have the opportunity or pleasure to 1869 - > feel that in their lives. 1870 - > SPEAKER_04: Yeah.

1871 - > SPEAKER_02: To feel that just peace, to feel home. 1872 - > I feel home in my body. 1873 - > SPEAKER_04: Same. 1874 - > Okay, good.

1875 - > And I was trying to explain it to somebody recently, and I was 1876 - > like, you know how that you have that pit in your stomach, you 1877 - > know, and for you have it so long. 1878 - > Like, I don't have a pit in my stomach anymore. 1879 - > This one situation, I had some butterflies, but like I can like 1880 - > breathe deeper and more into my body because I've been through a 1881 - > lot of healing um situations, and there's always gonna be more 1882 - > to go, but that's it it is.

1883 - > I trust myself and I trust, I trust, you know, the person that 1884 - > I've become. 1885 - > And that trust is respect, and that respect is love, and that's 1886 - > really deep. 1887 - > And you can almost sense it now in other people. 1888 - > I'm like, but I don't know how to get anybody else to that 1889 - > place without, yeah, a lot of hand holding and a lot of 1890 - > therapy and a lot of Shanice in your life.

1891 - > SPEAKER_02: And even with me helping you, even with me 1892 - > helping you r get to that space, you have to want it more than 1893 - > you want anything. 1894 - > SPEAKER_04: Sometimes I relate it to being uncomfortable if 1895 - > you're uncomfortable already and you have to go be uncomfortable 1896 - > to deal with it, just trade one uncomfortable for another. 1897 - > Yep. 1898 - > Just trade.

1899 - > SPEAKER_02: I like that. 1900 - > SPEAKER_04: Because you're already uncomfortable. 1901 - > So if you're gonna go do something new and be 1902 - > uncomfortable, you already know what it feels like. 1903 - > Yeah.

1904 - > And do you wanna keep having that pit in your stomach? 1905 - > Do you wanna keep feeling uncomfortable? 1906 - > Being comfortable in yourself takes a lot of work, but like if 1907 - > you're in uncomfortable, just trade it for another one to be 1908 - > able to heal it. 1909 - > SPEAKER_02: A lot of times so, because although it's 1910 - > uncomfortable, it's normal.

1911 - > It is, it becomes your normal, so you're consumed by it and 1912 - > you're like, although this is making me miserable, yeah, this 1913 - > is all I know. 1914 - > And then you get stuck in that endless loop. 1915 - > Yeah, you know, and I was in that loop. 1916 - > Oh, I was in it hardcore.

1917 - > I was in the sunken place where I'm like, well, I guess I'll 1918 - > just be miserable. 1919 - > I guess I'll just hate my job. 1920 - > And it was making me physically sick, like kidney physically 1921 - > sick type of issues. 1922 - > Yeah, and it wasn't until I just put a halt to it all at all of 1923 - > those things.

1924 - > You would be surprised at the way that our mental health 1925 - > impacts our physical health. 1926 - > SPEAKER_03: Oh, yeah. 1927 - > SPEAKER_02: It's your nervous system, it all goes together. 1928 - > It controls everything.

1929 - > So if you are not okay mentally, baby, you are not okay 1930 - > physically. 1931 - > SPEAKER_04: Let's just take a deep breath together. 1932 - > Right into the microphone just for you guys. 1933 - > unknown: Hot breath.

1934 - > SPEAKER_04: Well, again, thank you so much, Anise, for coming 1935 - > on the podcast. 1936 - > Oh my gosh, this has been such a pleasure. 1937 - > SPEAKER_02: I honestly forgot I was even on a podcast. 1938 - > I know, right?

1939 - > SPEAKER_04: It's like we pinky promise, and then everything 1940 - > else happened. 1941 - > I'm into it. 1942 - > Well, you know, I love to talk about how to put money into your 1943 - > wallet because we are on Woman Owned Wallet, the podcast. 1944 - > So how can they hire you?

1945 - > How can they follow you? 1946 - > How can they put money into your wallet? 1947 - > SPEAKER_02: Oh my goodness, you guys can follow me on Instagram, 1948 - > Facebook, or TikTok. 1949 - > I am elevated with Cece.

1950 - > I know my name is Shaunice, but everybody calls me Cece. 1951 - > That's been my nickname since I've grown up. 1952 - > Um, and it just makes me feel at home when people call me Cece. 1953 - > I love it.

1954 - > Cece. 1955 - > Yes, I love it. 1956 - > It just makes me feel loved. 1957 - > It's like a big warm hug.

1958 - > Um, but you can follow me on all of my socials. 1959 - > And if you want to put money in my pocket, you can go to my 1960 - > Linktree and you can book me for a consult. 1961 - > You can book a group session, you can also download my 90-day 1962 - > reset guide. 1963 - > That is free.

1964 - > I have a free personality test up there as well. 1965 - > So you can kind of see where you lie when it comes to your own 1966 - > personal traumas and barriers, and then you can reach out to me 1967 - > and then we can get something started. 1968 - > I have group coaching sessions, I have one-on-one. 1969 - > If you really, really need some additional insights, but you 1970 - > guys can pour in however you want to.

1971 - > SPEAKER_04: Pour in. 1972 - > Pour into her pockets. 1973 - > SPEAKER_02: Because when you pour into my pockets, I'm able 1974 - > to pour back into yours. 1975 - > Yeah.

1976 - > And one thing that I really want to mention that I'm really, 1977 - > really, really excited to kind of get started. 1978 - > Um, putting putting money back into other people's pockets is 1979 - > also very important to me. 1980 - > SPEAKER_05: Yeah. 1981 - > SPEAKER_02: Because I come from a community where that was not 1982 - > the case, and we didn't learn how to manage money properly and 1983 - > the importance of investing in all of those things.

1984 - > So um I am going to be coming out with a scholarship program. 1985 - > SPEAKER_03: Oh, nice. 1986 - > SPEAKER_02: And within this scholarship program, um, I will 1987 - > select a few people, probably anywhere between two to four per 1988 - > year. 1989 - > And you will go through my complete coursework and you will 1990 - > take this 100% for free.

1991 - > And once you complete it and you are able to pass this 1992 - > coursework, you'll learn about emotional wellness, mental 1993 - > health, uh, physical health, all of the things, money management. 1994 - > You'll learn about all of these things just so you can have a 1995 - > well-rounded life. 1996 - > And then at the end of completing that course, you will 1997 - > earn a scholarship. 1998 - > Half of that scholarship will automatically be invested for 1999 - > you into a brokerage account.

2000 - > And then the other half, you can do whatever the hell you want to 2001 - > do with it because we all need a break sometimes. 2002 - > SPEAKER_04: Yeah, get that celebration out for all the 2003 - > things you did to show up for yourself in all those moments. 2004 - > That's beautiful. 2005 - > Yes.

2006 - > Feel very inspired by that. 2007 - > And that's, I don't know, I'm gonna do something similar in 2008 - > some way. 2009 - > I was like, let's put pennies in the puggy bank and let's break 2010 - > it open. 2011 - > Like let's do it.

2012 - > I give it to somebody. 2013 - > So let's do it. 2014 - > Listen, as soon as I feel comfortable getting more, we 2015 - > find you some sponsors. 2016 - > SPEAKER_03: Absolutely.

2017 - > SPEAKER_04: If you're listening and you want to be a sponsor, of 2018 - > course. 2019 - > Yes, just hit me on Instagram, elevated with CC. 2020 - > Elevated with CC? 2021 - > Yes.

2022 - > I love it, CC. 2023 - > All right. 2024 - > I'm gonna use your nickname now. 2025 - > Yes, please.

2026 - > Because we're best. 2027 - > It's my favorite. 2028 - > Oh, I love it. 2029 - > Well, I don't have a ton of nicknames for Amanda, but we'll 2030 - > find.

2031 - > SPEAKER_02: Amandy. 2032 - > Has anybody ever called you that? 2033 - > Oh, I hate Mandy. 2034 - > I hate Mandy.

2035 - > SPEAKER_04: Yeah. 2036 - > Manda, Mana, Panda. 2037 - > My mom calls me Panda. 2038 - > Oh, that's cute.

2039 - > My dad calls me two. 2040 - > Two? 2041 - > The second point. 2042 - > SPEAKER_02: It's one, two, three.

2043 - > SPEAKER_03: Yeah, or thumb, because I used to suck my thumb 2044 - > for like a long time. 2045 - > Really? 2046 - > Totally messed up my mouth, like orthodontics for like seven 2047 - > years. 2048 - > SPEAKER_04: Or just, you know, actually, sometimes um he'll 2049 - > answer the phone and he'll be like, is this the owner of 2050 - > woman-owned wallet?

2051 - > SPEAKER_02: Yes, it is. 2052 - > SPEAKER_04: Of course it is, dad. 2053 - > You're so cute. 2054 - > My mom used to work at Walgreens, and he'd be like, Is 2055 - > this the corner of happy and healthy?

2056 - > SPEAKER_03: I was like, he's such a dad. 2057 - > I love it. 2058 - > It's so silly. 2059 - > SPEAKER_02: My sister worked for Pizza Hut for a while, and every 2060 - > time I would talk to her, I would be like, Because nobody 2061 - > outpizzes the hut.

2062 - > SPEAKER_03: All right, let's end it there. 2063 - > Because nobody outpizes the hut. 2064 - > Well, here's my tagline. 2065 - > SPEAKER_04: All right, money makers.

2066 - > Until next time, go out there and make that money. 2067 - > If you want to put more money into the wallets of women like 2068 - > we do, then check out our website, 2069 - > thewomanownedwallet.com. 2070 - > And we can't wait to continue the conversation on our social 2071 - > media.

2072 - > So definitely follow us on our Instagram at womanowned.wallet 2073 - > and on TikTok at WomanOwned Wallet. 2074 - > You can support us by following our podcast on Apple, Google, 2075 - > and Spotify. 2076 - > And don't forget to leave us a review.

2077 - > Thank you for listening to Woman Owned Wallet, the podcast.