074: Why Your Referrals Are Not a Sales Strategy

Renee Hribar: Hey, hey. Let me ask you something. have you ever built something in your business that really worked? Like, clients coming in, money coming in, and then someone asked you, "How'd you do that?" And you were like, "Uh, luck?" Because you did it, but you didn't explain it. You couldn't repeat it, and you definitely can't scale it. If that's you, this episode is for you. Welcome back. I am Renee Hribar. This is the Selling Your Expertise podcast. I'm your sales coach for women who are brilliant at what they do but are tired of guessing when it comes to getting clients. So whether you found me by searching sales on your podcast player, heard one of my talks, like the one I did for TEDx, or read my book, followed the prompts, and m- that led you to here, thanks. I'm so glad you're here. Head over to askmecoach.com, that's A-S-K-M-E-C-O-A-C-H.com, for all the freshest ways to hang out beyond this podcast. I'm always cooking up something new. So today we're talking about something that comes up all of the time with my clients. You know, they're getting results, but they don't know why, and because of that, they can't grow it intentionally. I am all about premeditated, intentional, sustainable, preplanned, like far out, so we can take vacations, we can take rest, whatever that means for us. Maybe that's a hike. Maybe that's a massage. Maybe that's just silence, right? So that they can grow it intentionally. They didn't start their business to be in hustle mode. So I brought this topic in because literally it is straight out of a conversation with a client. For this episode, we'll call her Rosie. Like, I'm still in Detroit, so Rosie the Riveter is always a part of our life here. She's a big character in the Detroit area. So I'll name this after her, 'cause this woman is definitely an amazing human. So she's incredible, right? She's, in this case, this real person although Rosie's not her name, is an email strategist. Now, of all the platforms that I've ever leveraged, I've loved email because it is genuinely a quantifiable asset. So this woman helps you strategize the best way to grow and scale your email list, and she's also a ghostwriter. I mean, some of the amazing humans that she gets to work with to bring their stories to life. She works with corporate executives to write their nonfiction books, and they're usually at the tail end of their career. They have had so many life experiences, and they're ready to share that with the world. So she brings that out of them. She's just brilliant the way her mind works. She's been doing this for over 15 years. She's worked with major publications. She's built her own audiences, and she knows exactly how to move people to action through the written word. So she's, like, kind of a big deal, you know? She's definitely the real deal. But here's the thing. She was already successful when she came to me, but, you know, booked out, busy, in demand. But still, and this is straight out of the transcript from our coaching session, she said, "I feel stuck I think I've plateaued, and I don't know how I got here, so I don't know how to go where I wanna go. Sound familiar? This is not a beginner's problem, right? This is something that happens to experts all of the time. But here's what's actually happening. If you've built your business on referrals and word of mouth and people just finding you because you're really good at what you do, well, I mean, those are all amazing things. Like, that says you're phenomenal, but they're also y- invisible systems, unstructured growth, and completely unrepeatable. So now you've hit a ceiling, and because you can't sell more hours, you don't have a clear path to create more demand, and you don't know what actually caused your success. So now you're thinking, "I need more content. I need a bigger audience." Nope. You need clarity, but not the kind of clarity you get after an everything is sunshine and rainbows chat with your favorite AI. Um, no. I- this morning when I was getting a Spanish phone number, which took me 90-plus minutes, um, the AI kept encouraging me like, "You're over the digital hump. You're almost there. This is hard work. I wanna cheer you on." I'm like, "Okay, slow down. Simmer down. Just give me the details of what I need to type in next. What does this word mean?" Anyways, I got it now. So it's not that kind of clarity. This is the kind that comes from working with someone who knows what questions to actually ask, who knows where to look for those invisible systems. Pull them out of your beautiful brain and map them out. Yeah, it's unsexy, but a project board. I know. It's - I always think of that line out of the Jerry Maguire movie where he's like, "It's not sexy, but it has teeth." Okay, so this is where the magic happens. When I started working with Rosie, the first thing we did was not start a TikTok. It was not even build funnels or create more content. We did something way more powerful. I pulled her out of the weeds, and this is exactly what I cover in episode 41 on how to shift from waiting for clients to actively continuing conversations. So if you wanna go deeper on this, go back to episode 41. But what I asked Rosie is what actually worked? What was repeatable? What was luck and what was strategy? Because most women skip this step, and they just keep moving forward without understanding the path they've already walked. All right, let me give you an example. Let's say you're a B2B consultant, fully booked, referrals coming in, calendar full. From the outside, you're crushing it. But behind the scenes, you might be thinking, "I can't keep doing this forever," or, "I'm maxed out," and, "If referrals slow down, I'll be in trouble." So we take a step back, and we look at where did your last three clients come from? What conversations led to those sales? What positioning made them say yes? Yes to the free initial call, yes to a paid session, yes to a project And what do we find? It's not random. It just felt random because you weren't tracking it. So this is when everything starts to s- shift and change, and you get to... It's like the cloud, it's like the clouds clear. I remember when we were staying in, um, San Francisco, and we stayed, uh, I think it was the 14th floor, maybe it was the 27th floor of the of the Hilton, downtown San Francisco, maybe you've been there. And every day about 4:00, the literal sky would just cover everything. You couldn't see the buildings, you couldn't see the water, you couldn't see anything. And then at about 7:00, it would just blow away. it had a name, I think it was called Stan. M- if you know and you're in San Fran, let me know in the emails. Point is that it's as if the cloud has cleared, but it's been there all along. And so this is when you get to go from, "I hope this is working," to, "I know exactly how this works." And it, I can't tell you how many times clients have said that to me, and it's literally almost made me cry because that is the point, is that now you have the power, you have the confidence, you have control over your sales, your revenue, your time. Because once you see it, you can't unsee it, and you can repeat it, refine it, and scale it, baby, because that's what I'm all about. So let's make this tangible for you. Here are three simple ways to start doing this today. Number one, the where did they come from audit. Go back to your last three clients and ask yourself, "Where did we meet? What was the first conversation? What made them say yes? What was their situation, the scenario, the details around it?" Write it down. Document, review, refine. Patterns will jump out at you. And if you wanna go deeper into this, I went nose-down into this in episode 70 on qualifying leads early, even before you book a call. All right. Number two, the one-on-one outreach. Keep it simple. So once you see the pattern, recreate it. Here's a simple swipe message you can steal from me. It's like, "Hey, Becky," or whoever, "I was just thinking about you. I loved what you shared about..." Specific thing you saw them share. Could be a podcast episode they were a guest on, could've been a summit they were in, it could've been a post they shared about their peonies. It doesn't matter. Point is, I love what you shared about it. Doesn't even have to be about work. "Curious, what are you focused with your business right now?" That's it. So these are people you're already familiar with. You've worked with them before, even if it was years ago. Like I shared in my book, there is no statute of limitations on relationships. So you're not reaching out to pitch them, you're just reconnecting with genuine curiosity. You've already got the proximity, and if you wanna go more into that, go to episode 69, Stop Starting Over: Sales Are In Your Network. I went deep into this. And PS, that is our top downloaded episode in the past three months, that episode right there. Okay, action step number three, the what actually works filter. Before you try any new strategy, ask yourself, does this match how my best clients already found me? If not, move on. We don't have time for that junk. So let me say something right now that might sting a little. You don't have to get more leads. I know that's what the internet wants you to believe. Because it's not about your visibility, it's about the clarity of the problem you already know how to solve, and your existing network is where to find the people to solve it for. Your clients are not out there somewhere. Remember Fival? Okay, I won't bore you with my lyrics from American Tale, but they are already in y- your world. All you have to do is get curious. Put on your Nancy Drew hat. All right? You wanna call it Nancy Drew, you wanna be Lois Lane? Who do you wanna be today? Be a curious reporter, like Beyoncé, right? She's Beyoncé, but on stage she's Sasha Fierce because she needs to have this, you know, different stage presence and personality. I don't know her personally, unfortunately, but I'm assuming she's probably pretty quiet and, you know, understated and relaxed. I mean, she's not, like, dancing on the table her, in her living room. Not anymore anyway. So here is what I want you to promise me. Pinky promise me. Here's your challenge for this week. Identify three people you already know. Go back in those phone contacts. I know you have something in that Gmail of yours. Maybe it's your AOL or your Yahoo. What? Could be years ago. Send them a little one plus one message, right? One compliment plus one easy to answer question, and then track what happens. Like, you know, do this a couple times. I've got clients right now that are going to college reunions, and they graduated 20, 30 years ago, but they're connecting again with the alumni. In your mind, you're all stuck at, you know, in your 20s, but in reality, you've all aged, and you've all had great careers, and you already have the relationship. And so now it's just a matter of how can we build on that? So if you want help seeing these patterns, 'cause I definitely have clients that are like, "I hear what you're saying, Renee, but I just can't see it," because sometimes you're too close to your own brilliance to spot it. You're the wine in the bottle. So head over to askmecoach.com. That's A-S-K-M-E-C-O-A-C-H.com. That's where I keep all the best ways to connect, work together, and actually turn this into a system for your business because you are not stuck. You're just sitting on a pile of success you haven't fully unpacked yet. So let's fix that. All right. Have a great week. See you next