Let's Talk Failure - and why you need it!

1 00:00:00,080 --> 00:00:04,924 Speaker 1: Let's talk failure Loaded word huh, lot of anxiety. 2 00:00:04,924 --> 00:00:09,289 It's a huge fear that a lot of us carry around all the time 3 00:00:09,339 --> 00:00:11,868 like, oh my God, am I gonna fail at something? 4 00:00:11,868 --> 00:00:15,743 It sounds like the worst thing in the world, and failure can be 5 00:00:15,743 --> 00:00:17,108 different things for different people. 6 00:00:17,108 --> 00:00:18,986 For some it's losing a job. 7 00:00:18,986 --> 00:00:21,347 For others it's their marriage ending. 8 00:00:21,347 --> 00:00:23,365 For others it's losing a big client. 9 00:00:23,365 --> 00:00:26,260 There are all sorts of different things that we can 10 00:00:26,300 --> 00:00:26,682 define. 11 00:00:26,682 --> 00:00:27,827 Oh, I failed. 12 00:00:27,827 --> 00:00:32,941 And it's important to know what we consider to be failures and 13 00:00:32,960 --> 00:00:34,426 to really take a good look at that. 14 00:00:34,426 --> 00:00:38,642 I'm Rachel Provan, and in today's episode I'm gonna share 15 00:00:38,661 --> 00:00:41,021 with you a new way to think about failure that will change 16 00:00:41,042 --> 00:00:42,106 your life if you let it. 17 00:00:42,106 --> 00:00:46,524 That's all coming up next right here on Psychology of Customer 18 00:00:46,564 --> 00:00:46,965 Success. 19 00:00:46,965 --> 00:00:52,008 Stay tuned Humans don't think or behave like computers. 20 00:00:52,539 --> 00:00:54,762 You can't just run a command and get them to do what you want 21 00:00:54,781 --> 00:00:59,320 them to do, so why are you still basing your CS strategy based 22 00:00:59,542 --> 00:01:00,445 solely on logic? 23 00:01:00,445 --> 00:01:04,542 I'm Rachel Provan, cs leadership coach, award-winning 24 00:01:04,581 --> 00:01:06,929 CS strategist and certified psych nerd. 25 00:01:06,929 --> 00:01:10,543 I teach CS leaders how to build and scale world-class CS 26 00:01:10,584 --> 00:01:13,646 departments using a combination of strategy, leadership and 27 00:01:13,665 --> 00:01:16,826 mindset, using my secret weapon, psychology. 28 00:01:16,826 --> 00:01:20,506 Come join me every Wednesday for Psychology of Customer 29 00:01:20,525 --> 00:01:23,707 Success, where we'll dive into why people do the things they do 30 00:01:23,707 --> 00:01:27,102 , what motivates them and the effect that has on your CS 31 00:01:27,141 --> 00:01:29,828 strategy, team dynamics and executive presence. 32 00:01:29,828 --> 00:01:33,819 We'll dig into subjects like the helper personality, how 33 00:01:33,900 --> 00:01:37,381 thought errors like it's just easier if I do it keep your 34 00:01:37,421 --> 00:01:41,066 department stuck in reactive mode, and how cognitive bias can 35 00:01:41,066 --> 00:01:44,043 really screw up your customer journey Plus much more. 36 00:01:44,043 --> 00:01:47,864 Make sure to subscribe on Apple Spotify or wherever you listen 37 00:01:47,884 --> 00:01:51,167 to podcasts and make sure to share it with your CS bestie. 38 00:01:51,167 --> 00:01:53,828 Talk soon and here's to your success. 39 00:01:58,719 --> 00:02:03,004 So the thing that causes failure is the way you look at the 40 00:02:03,045 --> 00:02:04,368 world and yourself. 41 00:02:04,368 --> 00:02:07,662 It's not a matter of oh, you screwed up and now you're a 42 00:02:07,721 --> 00:02:09,167 failure, this was a failure. 43 00:02:09,167 --> 00:02:11,445 It all really comes down to mindset. 44 00:02:11,445 --> 00:02:17,935 So just a quick view of mindset , just like a quick one-on-one. 45 00:02:17,935 --> 00:02:21,080 What I'm talking about when I talk about mindset because it 46 00:02:21,100 --> 00:02:24,820 can be a squishy term it's basically a set of beliefs that 47 00:02:24,980 --> 00:02:27,944 shape how you make sense of the world and yourself in it. 48 00:02:27,944 --> 00:02:33,604 It influences how you feel, think and how you behave in any 49 00:02:33,645 --> 00:02:36,705 given situation, and it influences what you think is 50 00:02:36,786 --> 00:02:37,106 true. 51 00:02:38,259 --> 00:02:43,181 Now, carol Dweck wrote a really amazing book on mindset and she 52 00:02:43,241 --> 00:02:47,105 proposed that there were two, two different kinds of mindsets. 53 00:02:47,105 --> 00:02:49,987 There's a fixed mindset and a growth mindset. 54 00:02:49,987 --> 00:02:54,823 With a fixed mindset, things are the way they are, like your 55 00:02:55,163 --> 00:02:58,841 IQ is this, so you're a genius, you have fixed abilities, this 56 00:02:58,881 --> 00:03:01,746 person's really good at math, this person's bad at math, 57 00:03:02,539 --> 00:03:07,961 whereas a growth mindset is that things can change, that failure 58 00:03:07,961 --> 00:03:10,905 isn't permanent, it's an opportunity to learn. 59 00:03:10,905 --> 00:03:14,514 And it's one of those things where, when you first hear about 60 00:03:14,514 --> 00:03:17,062 , you're like oh, I have a growth mindset, and it reminds 61 00:03:17,141 --> 00:03:20,864 me of those magazine quizzes that I used to take when I was a 62 00:03:20,864 --> 00:03:25,002 teenager or like preteen or whatever, and it was always so 63 00:03:25,323 --> 00:03:29,282 obvious what the quote unquote answer was that it was almost 64 00:03:29,362 --> 00:03:34,987 laughable that anyone would pick the other options because it 65 00:03:35,269 --> 00:03:36,252 makes you seem like an idiot. 66 00:03:36,252 --> 00:03:37,102 Who's gonna be like? 67 00:03:37,102 --> 00:03:39,443 Yes, I have a fixed mindset, I am very close-minded. 68 00:03:39,443 --> 00:03:44,324 It's just not how we think of ourselves, but I tend to believe 69 00:03:44,324 --> 00:03:46,731 that we could be a little bit of both. 70 00:03:46,731 --> 00:03:49,962 There are areas where we have a fixed mindset and areas where 71 00:03:50,002 --> 00:03:54,306 we have a growth mindset, and it's our job to work on the ones 72 00:03:54,306 --> 00:03:59,707 where we're fixed, being aware that this is even something you 73 00:03:59,747 --> 00:04:06,776 can work on and being aware that having a limiting belief that 74 00:04:06,836 --> 00:04:11,627 you can't do something is optional, that it's not a fact. 75 00:04:11,627 --> 00:04:15,182 So just knowing that in the first place can be a really 76 00:04:15,223 --> 00:04:16,086 great place to start. 77 00:04:17,576 --> 00:04:24,788 Now, when I hear about fixed mindset, it's what comes to me 78 00:04:25,014 --> 00:04:28,223 and this isn't really part of the book is that it's a mindset 79 00:04:28,283 --> 00:04:33,867 that's based in fear, because if you say I'm bad at this, I 80 00:04:33,906 --> 00:04:38,218 can't change this is how it is, I'm bad at math, then you're 81 00:04:38,257 --> 00:04:39,802 less likely to have to go and do it. 82 00:04:39,802 --> 00:04:41,706 You're less likely to disappoint people. 83 00:04:41,706 --> 00:04:45,786 You're trying to take the sting out of whatever may happen. 84 00:04:45,786 --> 00:04:50,452 So you're basically putting the kibosh, calling the game on. 85 00:04:50,452 --> 00:04:55,613 I'm not even going to try that, because it didn't work for me 86 00:04:55,653 --> 00:05:00,413 before, or I'm afraid of what's going to happen, or people going 87 00:05:00,413 --> 00:05:04,165 to laugh at me is what a lot of it comes down to, unfortunately 88 00:05:04,165 --> 00:05:04,805 , a lot of the time. 89 00:05:04,805 --> 00:05:08,452 So when you have a fixed mindset, what I'm going to do 90 00:05:08,533 --> 00:05:12,814 here is because it's so clear what answer we should pick. 91 00:05:12,814 --> 00:05:16,392 I'm going to call out some examples that I see a lot in 92 00:05:16,512 --> 00:05:19,966 customer success and customer success leadership that are 93 00:05:20,028 --> 00:05:23,980 symptoms of a fixed mindset, and certainly some that I've had as 94 00:05:23,980 --> 00:05:26,425 well, because, as much as I'd like to think I am perfect. 95 00:05:26,425 --> 00:05:28,220 We know this is not the case. 96 00:05:28,834 --> 00:05:32,807 When you have a fixed mindset, you have a tendency to avoid 97 00:05:32,949 --> 00:05:37,259 things that you're not certain that you can have a positive 98 00:05:37,399 --> 00:05:37,959 outcome on. 99 00:05:37,959 --> 00:05:43,069 You might avoid challenges due to a perceived threat. 100 00:05:43,069 --> 00:05:46,163 You might not go out for a job where you don't take every 101 00:05:46,223 --> 00:05:49,978 single box on the job description because, oh, I'm not 102 00:05:49,978 --> 00:05:52,483 qualified, whereas maybe you are. 103 00:05:52,483 --> 00:05:53,586 Plenty of people do. 104 00:05:53,586 --> 00:05:55,600 Plenty of people are willing to try that. 105 00:05:55,600 --> 00:05:57,345 Say what's the worst that could happen. 106 00:05:58,798 --> 00:06:02,834 One where I see the avoiding of challenges in customer success 107 00:06:03,540 --> 00:06:06,976 just from the personality we like to be nice, et cetera is 108 00:06:07,077 --> 00:06:11,247 that of disciplining an employee or giving an employee negative 109 00:06:11,286 --> 00:06:11,728 feedback. 110 00:06:11,728 --> 00:06:18,266 We really don't like to do this and, rather than seeing it as a 111 00:06:18,266 --> 00:06:22,687 chance for the employee to grow , we tend to back into fear and 112 00:06:22,728 --> 00:06:23,795 think what's going to happen to me? 113 00:06:23,795 --> 00:06:27,142 How is this going to be a bad situation for me? 114 00:06:27,142 --> 00:06:28,487 Are they going to get mad? 115 00:06:28,487 --> 00:06:29,541 Are they going to yell at me? 116 00:06:29,541 --> 00:06:30,834 Are they going to be difficult to work with? 117 00:06:30,834 --> 00:06:32,701 Which is going to impact my results? 118 00:06:32,701 --> 00:06:38,257 It's very self-focused and, again, it's rooted in fear, and 119 00:06:39,060 --> 00:06:41,834 we don't even tend to be that straightforward about it. 120 00:06:41,834 --> 00:06:46,043 So, instead of just saying I'm not going to discipline that 121 00:06:46,083 --> 00:06:50,961 employee because I don't like it , we say we put it off. 122 00:06:50,961 --> 00:06:54,434 We say today is not a good day because they have that really 123 00:06:54,473 --> 00:06:56,281 important call and I don't want to throw them off their game. 124 00:06:56,281 --> 00:07:00,043 Or today's not a good day for me because I have back-to-back 125 00:07:00,084 --> 00:07:00,425 meetings. 126 00:07:00,425 --> 00:07:03,564 There's never a good day to discipline an employee. 127 00:07:03,564 --> 00:07:05,822 It's the fear of what the results are going to be. 128 00:07:06,834 --> 00:07:06,995 Now. 129 00:07:06,995 --> 00:07:09,543 That's avoidance of challenges. 130 00:07:09,543 --> 00:07:13,565 Fear of failure is just you can't fail if you don't play the 131 00:07:13,565 --> 00:07:13,786 game. 132 00:07:13,786 --> 00:07:15,261 You can't fail if you don't try . 133 00:07:15,261 --> 00:07:20,103 So you tend to avoid risks, but the thing is that prevents 134 00:07:20,223 --> 00:07:20,704 innovation. 135 00:07:20,704 --> 00:07:24,860 You can't innovate, you can't come up with the great next new 136 00:07:24,959 --> 00:07:30,814 thing if you're unwilling to fall on your face now and again. 137 00:07:30,814 --> 00:07:33,524 That's something I've definitely had to come to terms 138 00:07:33,603 --> 00:07:38,805 with as I've transitioned out of just being in corporate in 139 00:07:38,865 --> 00:07:40,733 startups and being in the public eye. 140 00:07:40,733 --> 00:07:43,810 More People are going to say things about me and I've had to 141 00:07:43,910 --> 00:07:48,221 kind of get over that, but before I had that in such a 142 00:07:48,281 --> 00:07:53,411 confronting way, it definitely impacted what I did in 143 00:07:53,432 --> 00:07:54,814 Pinesights 2020. 144 00:07:54,814 --> 00:07:58,927 But I can see now the opportunities that I missed 145 00:07:59,689 --> 00:08:03,329 based on worrying about what people would say, worrying about 146 00:08:03,329 --> 00:08:03,834 what people would think. 147 00:08:03,834 --> 00:08:08,588 And in these cases you might not speak up in a meeting. 148 00:08:08,588 --> 00:08:12,805 If you are the most junior person there, you might not want 149 00:08:12,805 --> 00:08:14,795 to try something new in case it doesn't work out. 150 00:08:14,795 --> 00:08:18,574 Versus if you hear people say like, oh well, we've always done 151 00:08:18,574 --> 00:08:20,694 it this way, don't fix what isn't broken. 152 00:08:20,694 --> 00:08:27,634 That is all symptoms of a fixed mindset in that particular 153 00:08:27,653 --> 00:08:27,834 situation. 154 00:08:29,519 --> 00:08:33,349 The others are resistance to change, which I think we all 155 00:08:33,408 --> 00:08:36,905 have to a degree, because it's seen as a threat, as an 156 00:08:36,966 --> 00:08:37,835 existential threat to our brains . 157 00:08:37,835 --> 00:08:42,594 Oh, I've kept alive so far in these situations that I'm used 158 00:08:42,614 --> 00:08:42,653 to. 159 00:08:42,653 --> 00:08:45,794 I don't know if I will in another situation. 160 00:08:45,794 --> 00:08:51,052 And again, that's our very primitive brain that's primarily 161 00:08:51,052 --> 00:08:51,835 concerned with keeping us alive . 162 00:08:51,835 --> 00:08:55,413 It's not focused on, oh, the worst that could happen is 163 00:08:55,432 --> 00:08:55,835 someone laughs at me. 164 00:08:55,835 --> 00:08:59,091 It feels like the worst thing that could happen is, oh, I get 165 00:08:59,110 --> 00:09:03,888 fired, I can't find another job, I can't pay my rent and I end 166 00:09:03,928 --> 00:09:05,352 up living under a bridge and then we die. 167 00:09:05,352 --> 00:09:05,835 Your brain will take it. 168 00:09:05,835 --> 00:09:09,404 That could, maybe not to the death point, but your brain goes 169 00:09:09,404 --> 00:09:12,835 there quickly, because that's still a holdover from evolution 170 00:09:13,958 --> 00:09:15,705 and again served us very well. 171 00:09:15,705 --> 00:09:18,390 We're still here, but it is not . 172 00:09:18,390 --> 00:09:23,546 It's something that we can continue to evolve in our own 173 00:09:23,586 --> 00:09:23,886 minds. 174 00:09:23,886 --> 00:09:27,524 It makes us able to do more and live a better life. 175 00:09:28,515 --> 00:09:33,264 If we can start to question that resistance to change, you may 176 00:09:33,365 --> 00:09:37,860 also find if you have a fixed mindset, you might also limit 177 00:09:37,899 --> 00:09:39,544 your willingness to learn and adapt. 178 00:09:39,544 --> 00:09:43,524 Let's say, all of a sudden your department has to handle sales. 179 00:09:43,524 --> 00:09:46,182 Now you're responsible for upsell cross-sell. 180 00:09:46,182 --> 00:09:49,342 There was a lot of resistance when that started happening in 181 00:09:49,383 --> 00:09:49,724 CS. 182 00:09:49,724 --> 00:09:53,123 It's not my job, I don't like that, I don't want to do that, 183 00:09:53,222 --> 00:09:57,366 it's not who I am, and those are a lot of assumptions, whereas 184 00:09:57,407 --> 00:10:00,317 really I think sales can be a service, it can be 185 00:10:00,437 --> 00:10:01,078 heart-centered. 186 00:10:01,078 --> 00:10:05,488 But again, it's that fear, it's that fixed mindset. 187 00:10:06,758 --> 00:10:10,995 And finally, taking criticism personally, which I am the queen 188 00:10:10,995 --> 00:10:14,265 of, I've gotten better about it , but I definitely. 189 00:10:14,265 --> 00:10:18,519 If someone was like feedback is a gift, I would always want to 190 00:10:18,539 --> 00:10:19,985 say great, did you keep the receipt? 191 00:10:19,985 --> 00:10:21,158 Because I'd like to send it back. 192 00:10:21,158 --> 00:10:22,764 I didn't ask for this gift. 193 00:10:22,764 --> 00:10:26,975 The fact is, most of the time, people are not meaning to insult 194 00:10:26,975 --> 00:10:27,054 you. 195 00:10:27,054 --> 00:10:29,004 They're trying to help you. 196 00:10:29,004 --> 00:10:31,014 They're trying to help you be better. 197 00:10:31,014 --> 00:10:37,307 And you'll never get better if you don't understand the areas 198 00:10:37,447 --> 00:10:41,264 where you might need to the next time you get a criticism. 199 00:10:41,264 --> 00:10:45,344 What if that piece of information, what if that piece 200 00:10:45,384 --> 00:10:47,014 of feedback wasn't about you? 201 00:10:47,014 --> 00:10:50,034 What if it didn't mean anything about you? 202 00:10:50,034 --> 00:10:54,586 What if it just meant this might be a different way to try 203 00:10:54,667 --> 00:10:58,125 something, that there was no value judgment involved, more of 204 00:10:58,125 --> 00:10:59,034 a science experiment. 205 00:10:59,034 --> 00:11:03,125 Oh, that particular experiment didn't work the way you might 206 00:11:03,164 --> 00:11:03,966 have wanted it to. 207 00:11:03,966 --> 00:11:06,636 Here's what you might want to try and say, and we'll be 208 00:11:06,657 --> 00:11:09,524 getting into that a little bit more in a few minutes. 209 00:11:10,495 --> 00:11:12,924 With a fixed mindset, you're never going to get any better 210 00:11:13,155 --> 00:11:16,054 and your results will always stay the same or get worse, 211 00:11:16,697 --> 00:11:18,884 because the world is always changing and evolving. 212 00:11:18,884 --> 00:11:22,924 So you're never going to be able to just keep doing the same 213 00:11:22,924 --> 00:11:25,541 old things that have worked and have them continue to work. 214 00:11:25,541 --> 00:11:30,726 We've seen that with different levels of the SaaS economy. 215 00:11:30,726 --> 00:11:34,302 We're going to see that with AI , that it's going to be 216 00:11:34,344 --> 00:11:36,475 important that we're able to roll with the punches and 217 00:11:36,557 --> 00:11:38,482 approach it with a growth mindset. 218 00:11:38,482 --> 00:11:41,179 Now, growth mindset? 219 00:11:41,179 --> 00:11:44,817 It just doesn't sound very relatable to me, same way that 220 00:11:44,837 --> 00:11:46,442 fixed mindset doesn't sound relatable to me. 221 00:11:46,442 --> 00:11:51,934 What strikes me as more resonant and makes me more open 222 00:11:51,955 --> 00:11:56,054 to it is, rather than fear, which is the fixed mindset. 223 00:11:56,054 --> 00:11:59,054 How can I approach this with curiosity? 224 00:11:59,054 --> 00:12:01,503 So growth mindset is just curious. 225 00:12:02,498 --> 00:12:04,874 It's basically the idea that you're always going to be 226 00:12:04,894 --> 00:12:07,942 learning, you're going to be eager to learn and improve your 227 00:12:07,982 --> 00:12:13,085 strategy and that you're going to persist in the face of 228 00:12:13,184 --> 00:12:13,767 difficulties. 229 00:12:13,767 --> 00:12:17,745 And this is particularly why I want to talk about this right 230 00:12:17,785 --> 00:12:22,485 now, because it's been a tough time for CS in the past year and 231 00:12:22,485 --> 00:12:29,443 a half and I see how frustrated people are getting and I am 232 00:12:29,485 --> 00:12:33,078 really impressed with the level of stick-to-itiveness that a lot 233 00:12:33,078 --> 00:12:33,681 of people have. 234 00:12:33,681 --> 00:12:39,452 But this is just, in another way, a reminder of whenever you 235 00:12:39,472 --> 00:12:42,061 get one of those things that feels like it just knocks the 236 00:12:42,100 --> 00:12:43,424 wind out of you, knocks you down . 237 00:12:43,424 --> 00:12:47,821 You can let that be that, you can let that be a failure, or 238 00:12:47,860 --> 00:12:50,360 you can say, okay, but what did I learn? 239 00:12:50,360 --> 00:12:52,881 What would I do differently next time? 240 00:12:52,881 --> 00:12:57,756 If a situation is like that, where you've learned and you 241 00:12:57,937 --> 00:12:59,863 know how to do something differently and improve your 242 00:12:59,883 --> 00:13:02,660 results, that's not a failure. 243 00:13:03,756 --> 00:13:08,235 So if you're feeling stuck, if you're in a fixed mindset the 244 00:13:08,275 --> 00:13:10,557 things I brought up at the beginning, what you consider to 245 00:13:10,576 --> 00:13:14,440 be failure losing a job, losing a big client, losing an employee 246 00:13:14,440 --> 00:13:18,142 , your marriage, breaking up making what you used to make. 247 00:13:18,142 --> 00:13:50,283 Those are all just results. 248 00:13:50,283 --> 00:13:54,344 They may not be results you like, but that's all they are. 249 00:13:54,344 --> 00:13:56,120 They're data points. 250 00:13:56,120 --> 00:14:00,538 It's what you're deciding that those data points mean about you 251 00:14:00,538 --> 00:14:01,319 as a person. 252 00:14:01,319 --> 00:14:05,990 That's the problem that you're deciding that they have any 253 00:14:06,091 --> 00:14:10,057 indication of how valuable you are, how lovable you are, how 254 00:14:10,117 --> 00:14:10,800 worthy you are. 255 00:14:11,836 --> 00:14:13,302 But here's the good news and the bad news. 256 00:14:13,302 --> 00:14:15,642 No one gets to decide that but you. 257 00:14:15,642 --> 00:14:20,988 No matter what anyone else says , that is all just thoughts and 258 00:14:21,028 --> 00:14:22,034 words in their brain. 259 00:14:22,034 --> 00:14:25,597 It doesn't mean everyone thinks that about you and it doesn't 260 00:14:25,639 --> 00:14:27,605 get to dictate anything about you. 261 00:14:27,605 --> 00:14:34,040 Only you get to decide what your worth is, and there is no 262 00:14:34,120 --> 00:14:37,543 reason in the world to decide that you're worth nothing. 263 00:14:37,543 --> 00:14:39,771 That's a self-fulfilling prophecy. 264 00:14:40,072 --> 00:14:44,044 If you decide I'm worthless, I'm the worst, you're not gonna go 265 00:14:44,165 --> 00:14:46,959 out there and make your life better and you're not gonna make 266 00:14:46,959 --> 00:14:48,063 other people's lives better. 267 00:14:48,063 --> 00:14:51,245 If you decide you're worthless because you've done something 268 00:14:52,088 --> 00:14:55,832 objectively bad, you've hurt people, you can sit there and be 269 00:14:55,832 --> 00:14:57,954 worthless and say, oh whoa is me and I suck. 270 00:14:57,954 --> 00:15:00,996 Or you can go out there and start to turn it around and make 271 00:15:00,996 --> 00:15:04,025 amends and change things and do better next time. 272 00:15:04,025 --> 00:15:07,805 It doesn't have to be set in stone. 273 00:15:07,805 --> 00:15:13,722 That's where you can have that growth mindset of well, what now 274 00:15:13,722 --> 00:15:13,722 ? 275 00:15:13,722 --> 00:15:15,822 We all get bad results. 276 00:15:15,822 --> 00:15:20,216 Sometimes we're human, we work with the information we have and 277 00:15:20,216 --> 00:15:23,318 we make the best decisions we can at the time, and sometimes 278 00:15:23,358 --> 00:15:25,304 we choose wrong, oops. 279 00:15:26,616 --> 00:15:32,043 Not only is failure extremely normal, but it is a huge asset, 280 00:15:32,183 --> 00:15:33,146 if you allow it to be. 281 00:15:33,146 --> 00:15:38,528 So what I like to do is and it takes me a second, I'm not 282 00:15:38,610 --> 00:15:42,968 perfect here but when something is hard and things don't go the 283 00:15:42,988 --> 00:15:46,692 way I want them to and I feel like, wow, I had huge 284 00:15:46,712 --> 00:15:47,154 expectations for this. 285 00:15:47,154 --> 00:15:50,703 I thought it was gonna go one way and that crashed and burned 286 00:15:51,105 --> 00:15:53,074 and I suck. 287 00:15:53,074 --> 00:15:54,488 It did not work out. 288 00:15:54,488 --> 00:15:58,314 I thought I was gonna do great and now I suck, try and detach 289 00:15:58,956 --> 00:16:01,225 and think of everything as a science experiment. 290 00:16:01,225 --> 00:16:05,362 Now scientists look at everything as they have a 291 00:16:05,403 --> 00:16:08,741 hypothesis which is just hey, I have a thought, I think this 292 00:16:08,781 --> 00:16:10,754 might work, and they perform an experiment. 293 00:16:10,754 --> 00:16:13,861 Okay, so I'm gonna try it out and see if I'm right or wrong, 294 00:16:14,496 --> 00:16:16,464 and then from that they get a result. 295 00:16:16,464 --> 00:16:22,096 So what if scientists decided that they were a failure the 296 00:16:22,158 --> 00:16:22,578 first time? 297 00:16:22,578 --> 00:16:24,004 They didn't get the result they intended? 298 00:16:24,004 --> 00:16:27,882 We'd all be stuck back in the house with being scared of COVID 299 00:16:27,882 --> 00:16:31,278 or probably would have died from an ear infection when we 300 00:16:31,298 --> 00:16:32,381 were nine months old or something. 301 00:16:33,136 --> 00:16:36,322 With everything you try, you either get the result you wanted 302 00:16:36,322 --> 00:16:38,521 or you get the lesson you needed. 303 00:16:38,521 --> 00:16:43,591 Every failure is a data point that says, oh, that experiment 304 00:16:43,610 --> 00:16:44,034 didn't work. 305 00:16:44,034 --> 00:16:45,841 Let's try and figure out why. 306 00:16:45,841 --> 00:16:49,113 And when we figure out why, that's going to give us an idea 307 00:16:49,394 --> 00:16:50,459 of what might work better. 308 00:16:50,459 --> 00:16:56,418 There's a I think it's EE Cummings saying that's ever 309 00:16:56,478 --> 00:17:01,543 tried, ever failed, no matter, try again, fail again, fail 310 00:17:01,663 --> 00:17:01,923 better. 311 00:17:01,923 --> 00:17:06,318 And that's all you have to be willing to do to understand that 312 00:17:06,318 --> 00:17:08,645 a failure isn't necessarily the end. 313 00:17:08,645 --> 00:17:10,341 It's just a what now? 314 00:17:10,341 --> 00:17:11,579 What next? 315 00:17:11,579 --> 00:17:17,454 What did I learn and how can I try again with this information 316 00:17:17,875 --> 00:17:20,064 and not do the exact same thing over and over? 317 00:17:20,064 --> 00:17:25,347 Because if you don't take the time to stop and analyze that, 318 00:17:26,458 --> 00:17:29,218 you're likely to do the same thing over and over, expecting a 319 00:17:29,218 --> 00:17:32,040 different result, and people like to say that's the 320 00:17:32,060 --> 00:17:33,245 definition of insanity. 321 00:17:34,980 --> 00:17:38,447 It's also a natural way to be, we hear if at first you don't 322 00:17:38,467 --> 00:17:39,413 succeed, try again. 323 00:17:39,413 --> 00:17:42,602 It should be to try something else, try something slightly 324 00:17:42,682 --> 00:17:43,065 different. 325 00:17:43,065 --> 00:17:48,476 It's really when you give into fear that you keep making those 326 00:17:48,516 --> 00:17:49,239 same mistakes. 327 00:17:49,239 --> 00:17:53,211 And look, cs can be a hard job At this moment. 328 00:17:53,211 --> 00:17:54,336 A lot of people are out of work . 329 00:17:54,336 --> 00:17:58,860 Some have been laid off twice in 12 months, nine months. 330 00:17:59,971 --> 00:18:01,698 And I don't care what a great talk I give you. 331 00:18:01,698 --> 00:18:04,692 I understand that's not gonna feel great, it's not gonna feel 332 00:18:04,893 --> 00:18:06,098 like an opportunity. 333 00:18:06,098 --> 00:18:10,975 But if you can look at it more like this is a puzzle for me to 334 00:18:11,035 --> 00:18:14,177 solve, rather than all these things are happening to me. 335 00:18:14,177 --> 00:18:17,398 It can be a bit of a stretch to say they're happening for you, 336 00:18:18,009 --> 00:18:19,336 but I don't quite go that far. 337 00:18:19,336 --> 00:18:22,037 But can you look at it that way ? 338 00:18:22,037 --> 00:18:25,913 Can you say because here's the thing if you keep trying 339 00:18:25,954 --> 00:18:28,255 different things, eventually you're gonna hit on the right 340 00:18:28,295 --> 00:18:28,556 thing. 341 00:18:28,556 --> 00:18:33,197 Your success is inevitable so long as you just keep trying and 342 00:18:33,197 --> 00:18:35,355 improving and getting a little bit better each time. 343 00:18:35,355 --> 00:18:40,393 It's just science, it's just data, it's throwing stuff at the 344 00:18:40,393 --> 00:18:41,717 wall and seeing what sticks. 345 00:18:43,110 --> 00:18:46,835 And the other way to look at it, the other way to understand how 346 00:18:46,835 --> 00:18:54,879 failure is so important, is we don't grow when everything's 347 00:18:54,940 --> 00:18:55,180 great. 348 00:18:55,180 --> 00:18:58,691 We have a tendency to just keep with the status quo, because 349 00:18:58,711 --> 00:18:59,273 why wouldn't we? 350 00:18:59,273 --> 00:19:00,036 Things are going great. 351 00:19:00,036 --> 00:19:01,274 I don't wanna mess it up. 352 00:19:01,274 --> 00:19:05,872 It's when, all of a sudden, what used to work doesn't work 353 00:19:05,912 --> 00:19:08,535 anymore that we have to figure something else out. 354 00:19:08,535 --> 00:19:13,060 And to do that, you have to do something you've never done 355 00:19:13,080 --> 00:19:15,858 before, think a way you've never thought before, and that's 356 00:19:15,918 --> 00:19:16,239 growth. 357 00:19:16,239 --> 00:19:19,976 Not just a growth mindset, but that's you growing as a person. 358 00:19:19,976 --> 00:19:21,435 That's your next evolution. 359 00:19:21,435 --> 00:19:25,139 Often, when we keep hitting our head against the same challenge 360 00:19:25,139 --> 00:19:30,535 , it's because we've hit upon something that is life's giving 361 00:19:30,636 --> 00:19:30,736 us. 362 00:19:30,736 --> 00:19:33,516 This thing of this is what's in your way. 363 00:19:33,516 --> 00:19:35,697 It's time to reach your next evolution. 364 00:19:35,697 --> 00:19:36,634 It's time to level up. 365 00:19:36,634 --> 00:19:39,056 This is what you're gonna have to solve. 366 00:19:39,056 --> 00:19:42,614 To do that Sometimes I like to. 367 00:19:42,870 --> 00:19:45,353 If someone's really having a hard time and they feel like 368 00:19:45,373 --> 00:19:49,219 everything is falling apart, I will tell them about something 369 00:19:49,290 --> 00:19:51,596 that my friend and I call being in the goo. 370 00:19:51,596 --> 00:19:55,432 Basically, if you think about a caterpillar, a caterpillar 371 00:19:55,553 --> 00:19:59,157 turns into a butterfly, but they don't just go in for a nice 372 00:19:59,198 --> 00:20:00,935 little nap and merge all beautiful. 373 00:20:00,935 --> 00:20:05,052 It's not like the very hungry caterpillar like eat some nice 374 00:20:05,072 --> 00:20:06,036 snacks, take a nap. 375 00:20:06,036 --> 00:20:06,638 Here you are. 376 00:20:06,638 --> 00:20:09,278 A caterpillar actually is kind of gross. 377 00:20:09,278 --> 00:20:11,637 It digests its own body. 378 00:20:11,637 --> 00:20:15,275 So, yeah, basically, at one point it basically bites its own 379 00:20:15,275 --> 00:20:15,615 head off. 380 00:20:15,615 --> 00:20:18,396 I don't really understand it, but it digests its entire body 381 00:20:19,230 --> 00:20:23,835 and at one point inside the chrysalis, it's just this green 382 00:20:23,915 --> 00:20:24,176 goo. 383 00:20:24,176 --> 00:20:28,996 It completely breaks down in order to be able to reformulate 384 00:20:29,056 --> 00:20:31,194 its cells to become what's next? 385 00:20:31,194 --> 00:20:33,697 And a caterpillar in that moment doesn't know. 386 00:20:33,697 --> 00:20:35,196 Oh cool, I'm becoming a butterfly. 387 00:20:35,196 --> 00:20:37,497 Now they're like holy crap, I'm dying. 388 00:20:37,497 --> 00:20:39,432 This is the most terrifying thing that has ever happened to 389 00:20:39,553 --> 00:20:39,975 anyone. 390 00:20:39,975 --> 00:20:41,494 I'm turning into goo. 391 00:20:41,494 --> 00:20:46,000 So that's what's happening as you're leveling up. 392 00:20:47,029 --> 00:20:51,310 You're in the goo, and sometimes my friend and I will be oh, 393 00:20:51,351 --> 00:20:51,692 how's it go? 394 00:20:51,692 --> 00:20:54,836 Oh, I'm in the goo today, where it's just everything is a mess. 395 00:20:54,836 --> 00:20:56,455 I don't know what to do next. 396 00:20:56,455 --> 00:20:57,694 Everything has fallen apart. 397 00:20:57,694 --> 00:21:03,178 That's the goo period, because that's when you're figuring out 398 00:21:03,720 --> 00:21:05,093 how you have to transform. 399 00:21:05,093 --> 00:21:10,517 It's a transformative process and that's why setbacks often 400 00:21:10,657 --> 00:21:11,700 act as a slingshot. 401 00:21:11,700 --> 00:21:13,384 It's inevitable. 402 00:21:13,384 --> 00:21:14,298 There's no way around it. 403 00:21:14,298 --> 00:21:19,050 Failure is only a sign that it's time to level up. 404 00:21:19,050 --> 00:21:20,576 It's time to try something different. 405 00:21:21,471 --> 00:21:26,740 There's this saying that first God throws a rock, then a pebble 406 00:21:26,740 --> 00:21:31,017 , then a boulder, and that's basically to indicate that God, 407 00:21:31,096 --> 00:21:34,872 universe whatever you want to believe in life, whatever is 408 00:21:34,912 --> 00:21:37,420 trying to teach you lessons to get you to your next level. 409 00:21:37,420 --> 00:21:40,719 And sometimes you're doing something that isn't serving you 410 00:21:40,719 --> 00:21:45,154 , and the first time that happens you get a pebble, so it 411 00:21:45,176 --> 00:21:46,682 hurt a little bit Like that wasn't great. 412 00:21:46,682 --> 00:21:47,949 But okay, I'm gonna keep going. 413 00:21:47,949 --> 00:21:51,179 I'm gonna go on my merry way and continue exactly what I've 414 00:21:51,199 --> 00:21:57,181 been doing, and the next time God throws a rock, that hurt 415 00:21:57,221 --> 00:21:57,402 more. 416 00:21:57,402 --> 00:22:02,458 But if you keep going and keep doing the same thing, that is 417 00:22:02,518 --> 00:22:03,700 getting you hit with rocks. 418 00:22:03,700 --> 00:22:05,403 Eventually you get a boulder. 419 00:22:06,591 --> 00:22:10,824 And for some people, myself included, sometimes you got to 420 00:22:10,844 --> 00:22:13,676 get the boulder before you're willing to accept that it's time 421 00:22:13,676 --> 00:22:14,787 for a change. 422 00:22:14,787 --> 00:22:18,849 And it doesn't have to be like, oh, I'm in the wrong line of 423 00:22:18,889 --> 00:22:21,177 work, it might just be. 424 00:22:21,177 --> 00:22:22,923 I need help. 425 00:22:22,923 --> 00:22:27,961 I need to ask someone who has a different perspective do you 426 00:22:28,022 --> 00:22:29,446 see something I'm doing wrong here? 427 00:22:29,446 --> 00:22:30,990 Because I just can't see it? 428 00:22:30,990 --> 00:22:37,007 And look, I would not have a business without a good, a 429 00:22:37,047 --> 00:22:38,050 couple good, solid boulders here . 430 00:22:38,050 --> 00:22:41,538 I wouldn't have the marriage and family I do without some 431 00:22:41,639 --> 00:22:43,022 tough lessons in my dating life. 432 00:22:43,022 --> 00:22:47,798 I did a lot of things wrong and fixed them, started doing 433 00:22:47,860 --> 00:22:51,554 different things that worked better, and you know what? 434 00:22:51,554 --> 00:22:54,842 I wouldn't be a failure if I didn't have those things either. 435 00:22:54,842 --> 00:22:58,785 They happen to be my favorite things in my life right now, but 436 00:22:58,785 --> 00:23:04,359 I got it wrong a lot and that's honestly why I teach now, why I 437 00:23:04,359 --> 00:23:06,723 teach CS strategy, why I teach mindset. 438 00:23:07,330 --> 00:23:10,996 Because if you can take a shortcut, if you can get one 439 00:23:11,076 --> 00:23:14,121 shortcut here where you don't have to be hit by all the rocks 440 00:23:15,062 --> 00:23:18,894 and can learn things faster than I did, that is my hope for you, 441 00:23:18,894 --> 00:23:24,846 because I learned a ton over, you know, 17 years in CS, but it 442 00:23:24,846 --> 00:23:26,050 was not an easy climb. 443 00:23:26,050 --> 00:23:27,375 There were a lot of mistakes. 444 00:23:27,375 --> 00:23:33,362 So it is okay to look at somebody's roadmap and say I'm 445 00:23:33,382 --> 00:23:36,094 going to try that you may need to adjust a little for your 446 00:23:36,173 --> 00:23:41,263 particular landscape, but you don't always have to figure it 447 00:23:41,323 --> 00:23:41,864 out on your own. 448 00:23:41,864 --> 00:23:44,417 Growth comes from being so uncomfortable. 449 00:23:44,417 --> 00:23:48,634 You have to figure it out and that's why everyone gets to the 450 00:23:48,673 --> 00:23:51,038 high points in their life and they say you know what? 451 00:23:51,038 --> 00:23:55,284 I wouldn't be here if I didn't go through this, this and this 452 00:23:55,423 --> 00:23:55,985 crappy thing. 453 00:23:55,985 --> 00:23:57,214 So now I get it. 454 00:23:57,214 --> 00:23:58,518 Why I had to go through those things? 455 00:23:58,518 --> 00:24:02,730 That is the view from the top of the mountain and you know 456 00:24:02,792 --> 00:24:04,455 it's not like there's an end. 457 00:24:04,455 --> 00:24:09,060 You don't get to the top of life and, yeah, I win life, but 458 00:24:09,423 --> 00:24:10,029 you do level up. 459 00:24:10,029 --> 00:24:15,274 It's a continuation of learnings and when you're in 460 00:24:15,314 --> 00:24:18,415 that process it sucks, but it also means you're on your way. 461 00:24:18,415 --> 00:24:21,879 This is what makes it happen trying something different. 462 00:24:23,072 --> 00:24:26,878 And as a final button on this to make this actionable, look at 463 00:24:26,938 --> 00:24:30,284 an area at work where you don't like the results you've gotten 464 00:24:30,524 --> 00:24:30,845 so far. 465 00:24:30,845 --> 00:24:32,998 What can you do differently? 466 00:24:32,998 --> 00:24:35,038 Make it a science experiment. 467 00:24:35,038 --> 00:24:39,541 It's okay if you don't immediately know what to do 468 00:24:39,581 --> 00:24:43,814 differently, but brainstorm, talk to other people, use chat, 469 00:24:43,834 --> 00:24:46,200 gpt, ask others what they've done. 470 00:24:46,200 --> 00:24:50,798 You don't have to wait until you're at rock bottom to try 471 00:24:50,858 --> 00:24:54,675 something new, to change directions, if you know what 472 00:24:54,716 --> 00:24:55,739 you're doing isn't working. 473 00:24:57,013 --> 00:24:58,899 What's the worst thing that could happen by changing? 474 00:24:58,899 --> 00:25:00,436 Actually, don't answer that. 475 00:25:00,436 --> 00:25:04,099 Instead of thinking that, think what's the best thing that 476 00:25:04,119 --> 00:25:04,600 could happen. 477 00:25:04,600 --> 00:25:07,398 It's not a question we ask ourselves often enough. 478 00:25:07,398 --> 00:25:09,757 We're always worried about the risks, and that's fair. 479 00:25:09,757 --> 00:25:13,533 We need to think critically, but often we don't consider what 480 00:25:13,533 --> 00:25:16,781 the benefits of something new or something hard or something 481 00:25:16,841 --> 00:25:21,356 scary could be, because we're only concerned with you know the 482 00:25:21,356 --> 00:25:23,121 scary parts or what could go wrong. 483 00:25:23,121 --> 00:25:27,257 So that's just the other piece of information I'd like to leave 484 00:25:27,257 --> 00:25:28,921 you with what's the best that could happen? 485 00:25:28,921 --> 00:25:33,118 So thanks so much for joining us today for another episode of 486 00:25:33,158 --> 00:25:34,621 Psychology of Customer Success. 487 00:25:35,471 --> 00:25:38,961 If you want to level up your CS leadership strategy and mindset, 488 00:25:38,961 --> 00:25:45,356 you can go to provansuccesscom To get on the early notification 489 00:25:45,356 --> 00:25:48,162 list for Customer Success Leadership Academy, which will 490 00:25:48,221 --> 00:25:49,965 be relaunching in February. 491 00:25:49,965 --> 00:25:53,298 So it's getting close again Right now. 492 00:25:53,298 --> 00:25:53,961 We're in there. 493 00:25:53,961 --> 00:25:57,029 We're making progress with our amazing current cohort. 494 00:25:57,029 --> 00:26:00,754 They're having all sorts of wins every day, but it'll be 495 00:26:00,794 --> 00:26:04,502 time again soon for new people to come in and learn and level 496 00:26:04,582 --> 00:26:04,662 up. 497 00:26:05,351 --> 00:26:09,105 And if you'd like to work with me on things like this as well 498 00:26:09,468 --> 00:26:13,659 as strategy, because when you combine mindset like this with 499 00:26:13,679 --> 00:26:18,371 the right strategy, that's when you really get fireworks, that's 500 00:26:18,371 --> 00:26:22,506 when you get real change, not when you just have an idea of 501 00:26:22,547 --> 00:26:23,050 what you should be doing. 502 00:26:23,050 --> 00:26:26,341 Oh, this is a good strategy, but you're not able to put it in 503 00:26:26,341 --> 00:26:30,435 action because of your limiting thoughts, you're limiting 504 00:26:30,576 --> 00:26:34,050 actions, you're I'm too busy, I'm too stressed. 505 00:26:34,050 --> 00:26:36,050 This is more important than my work. 506 00:26:36,050 --> 00:26:39,471 Those are all things that we work on and that's why I talk 507 00:26:39,512 --> 00:26:43,838 about them here, because I don't think people talk enough about 508 00:26:43,858 --> 00:26:48,084 sort of the intangibles that get in the way of our success. 509 00:26:48,084 --> 00:26:50,596 Again, thank you for joining us . 510 00:26:51,050 --> 00:26:55,029 If you enjoyed this, definitely give us five stars on iTunes. 511 00:26:55,029 --> 00:26:56,275 That really helps. 512 00:26:56,275 --> 00:27:00,990 And if you want to say hi, come find me on LinkedIn. 513 00:27:00,990 --> 00:27:04,904 We have a podcast page so you can search for Psychology of 514 00:27:04,925 --> 00:27:06,050 Customer Success page on there. 515 00:27:06,050 --> 00:27:10,456 Come say hi to me, network with other people and that's it. 516 00:27:10,456 --> 00:27:14,792 So until next time, take care of yourself, get some rest and 517 00:27:14,872 --> 00:27:17,538 don't forget to share this episode with your CS Bestie. 518 00:27:17,538 --> 00:27:20,551 Talk soon, and here's to your success.