Listen to this before your next wedding or photoshoot.

Speaker A: Welcome back to the Passion With Purpose podcast, everybody. I'm your host, Nate Chansky, and I wanted to create today's episode as kind of like a pre photo shoot or pre wedding episode. Like getting you hyped up, getting you confident, reducing stress, reducing anxiety. I'm also posting this in July, so. Right during a lot of people's busy seasons. And I want it to be an episode that you can just kind of like while you're on a raid or something, you can just listen to it on the way, press play. And I feel like I do a new one of these every year, kind of, um, and they always seem to connect well. So here we go. I'm going to do one updated for this year, because this moment before that shoot is that moment where sometimes you can feel, like, those despair feelings or those doubting, doubting feelings or those nervous or even, like, sometimes like a bad attitude, uh, feeling creeping in. Because I believe that what you focus on is what really defines the actions that you take. So we're gonna focus today on the things that are productive and encouraging, not the stressful ones. I got multiple mindsets for you that I want you to chew on as you go into this shoot that you're about to do. Okay? So first mindset I got, let's dive right in. Is that I want you to think about the client, and I want you to think less about yourself. And you might be like, well, yeah, Nate, duh. Like, it's of course, like the thing we're supposed to do. But here's why I want you to do. Because this attacks any pre wedding or pre photoshoot jitters or anxiety. Okay? If you think about anxiety, anxiety usually comes from a focus on self. It comes from, what are my clients thinking about me? Will I make a good impression? How will they perceive me? Will these photos reflect good on me? What are they going to think about me when I walk to the door? All these I and me pronoun sentences, right? So I want you to start. Instead of that, I want you to start creating sentences with they or her or him pronouns. So think about it this way. What is she, let's say the bride feeling today? How can I help her feel more comfortable? Or how can I take something off her plate? Or how is she doing? Juggling the emotions, but maybe also, like, the logistics of the day. Or you think of the parents of the couple that maybe is getting married. Think of, um, like the mother of the groom. How is she feeling, letting her baby boy go, you know? Or how is the father of the bride or something doing, letting his baby girl go. You can think of a fellow vendor that you're working with. How's that person doing? Maybe it's the florist. Are they, are they okay? Is everything going well for them? Did all the flowers come in time? Are ah, the flowers like arranging correctly? Is the weather good for the flowers? Uh, if you think along these lines, it immediately neutralizes your anxiety because it is no longer self focused. It is them focused. And also remember, by the way, that along those lines of thinking of others, not yourself. Let's say this is like a wedding for your clients and you're shooting a wedding day. Or remember how important it is that it's a wedding day. Like it's their wedding day. That is one of the most important days of their entire life. Maybe the most important day of their entire life. Uh, when I got married myself, everything changed to how I saw a wedding day from there and out, how I shot a wedding from there and out. You know, I remember m. My photographer, her name was Emily, she took these photos that she included in our gallery. And they were photos that I never thought to myself like, like when I include photos like this, it was, it was a lot of just random candidates of guests. Whenever I include photos like this, I'm always never thinking that they're that important. But then I remember getting them back and being like, no, but that's my friend or that's my aunt or that's my cousin or that's the person I went to college with and all the stories behind our relationships. And there I could see them watching our ceremony or there I could see them being present or having a good time or dancing it up on the dance floor. And it completely shifted my perspective on how I show up for my couples for their weddings. How I see their guests, how I see their first dances, how I see their first looks, how I see their tears, their laughs, their smiles, right? And then of course, this bleeds into how you photograph all of it, right? Uh, you might not know all these faces, these moments might not mean the world to you, but they do to the people that you're serving, to the people that hired you. You might not remember all this. You might do like 10, 20, 30 per year, but they, this will be the one. This will be the one for them. Maybe the, hopefully the one time they get married their whole life, right? So it matters. The second mindset I want you to have is I want you to. This goes along the lines of like those pre wedding jitters. Sometimes those Pre wedding anxiety, write positive scripts in your head, not negative scripts in your head. So when you think of anxiety, pre wedding scaries, anxiety can also come from worry. It can come from using your imagination to write scripts in your head, like movie scenes of how bad something will go, right? And us creatives excel in this area, right? We, we use our imagination all the time to write these scripts. Like, I'm probably going to fall in my face and I'm probably going to piss off some sort of like, vendor there. I'm probably not going to make a good impression. I'm probably awkward. Everyone's going to think XYZ of me, right? Like, that's how we think. We write these negative scripts in our heads. So what I want you to do is, if you have the potential to do that, you also have the potential to write positive, good outcome scripts in your head. So you think to yourself. You use your imagination to think to yourself. I'm going to show up to the shoot feeling so creative. I'm going to imagine the lighting just being beautiful and doing XYZ beautifully, coming across the angles like this. My cameras are going to be fully charged. They're going to be ready to go. My SD cards are not going to be filled up. They're going to be perfectly, uh, brand new. They're not going to corrupt, right? Or if you're at, uh, if you're going to be shooting a wedding, you imagine yourself just crushing the bridal party photos. Like they're so good. Like the bridal party loves you. Or you imagine yourself just absolutely nailing the perfect shot for the couple. When you're doing the romantic shots, like, how does it feel if you were to do that? Like, what does that shot look like? Imagine yourself in these moments, right? Imagine yourself showing up on time, ready to go, full of energy. All your alarms went off, you got out of bed on time, the outfit worked out, uh, right. You imagine the day running smoothly, the planner or the mother of the bride telling you, oh, uh, today's just been so perfect. You've just done such a wonderful job. Thank you for being here. Right? We've just loved having you. Our family has absolutely loved you. This is like ultimately worrying in reverse. I remember I read this book called Psycho Cybernetics. It's one of my favorite books. And it talks about this idea of worrying in reverse. If you have the potential, if you have the power to create negative outcomes in your brain, you also have the power to create positive ones. So create positive scripts in your brain, okay? The third mindset uh, I want to give you be thankful for this job. Seriously. I. I remember sometimes I would, early on in my career, I drive to, like, a wedding, and I would kind of maybe have, like, a bad attitude because I'm like, I'm just so tired today or something like that. Or do I have to do this? Like, whatever. Or maybe something was making me uneasy, right? And then I would remember my old jobs that I did when I was, like, a teenager. Like, I remember I had this job as, like, a blueberry picker. And it was, like, so gross. Like, it wasn't like a cute little, like, oh, with my basket, blueberry picker. It was like you were working on this machine. You were getting scraped up by the bushes constantly. You were constantly in mud. It was like 95 degrees. Like, it was just, like a gross job. Or I remember another job that I had was washing semis. Literally washing semis. Like giving semis a car wash, right? In a dirty garage. Or I remember jobs in food service or even, like, the job that I had, which is more corporate, more white collar, I guess you could say. When I was in Washington, D.C. and I kind of hated it, and it was so polarizing, and it was just like, not what I wanted to do, right? And so I think back on these jobs and I'm like, yeah, you know what? In contrast to all that, I love my job. I love going to this wedding. Like, what. What job would I rather be doing? Like, I've got to do something, you know, the Lord's put us on this earth to work. I have to make some sort of, uh, money to survive. So what would I rather be doing, right? I get paid to do this. This is what pays on my bills, right? Like, you know what other people have to do to pay their bills? Excel sheets. Working in gross, like, blueberry fields, right? With showering, showering car washing semis, right? Gray offices with fluorescent lights and Word documents, right? And we. What do we get to do? We get to dress up. We get to wear an awesome outfit, and we get to head to a party with a camera, creating art. And then. And then we get to go home and do whatever the heck we want because we get to set our own schedule. I mean, we have to do the work, but you know what I'm saying? So, like, remember how good you've got it, right? And also remember how excited you were when you booked this couple. Like, when you first booked this couple, you were probably flying high. You're like, I love them. Oh, my gosh, this is going to be an amazing wedding. Remember that feeling and channel that into serving them now. And, like, maybe back then, even you were waiting, praying, hoping for this booking, and you were dying to book a couple at this point. And boom, like, get back into that mindset. Show up with that feeling for this client. Be thankful for this job. All right, fourth mindset I want to give you. Just enjoy this day and have fun, right? Like weddings especially. I know I'm really speaking to the wedding photographers in the room, but, like, weddings can be so fun. Photo shoots can be so much fun too, right? Like, some of the family shoots you guys do, they look so, so fun. Like, with little kids and whatever. Have you, um, you know, other vendors you meet at a wedding can be so fun to, like, make new friends or. Ah. You know, wedding guests can be so much fun and so kind, and they're all. Usually they're in a good mood. Um, dance floors can be so much fun. Like, what you're doing is you're literally. Your job is to enjoy a day creating art with happy people, having fun, right? Beautiful places, beautiful people, incredible food, happy vibes. Like, I feel like we forget this. I mean, even just like, the landscape of the job that we do as wedding photographers is celebration. You're not like a collision insurance agent. You're not a divorce lawyer. You're not a law enforcer. You're a photographer. For special happy moments of people's life. Like, enjoy that. Feel that. Press into that. Match that energy. Smile, laugh, cry. Celebrate with people. Celebrate humanity. Like, it's love, it's beauty, it's joy. Make new friends with vendors or guests, your clients, themselves. Like, it's. It's happy people, amazing food, gorgeous locations. Like, what more would you want out of a job, right? Like, these venues that we go to are stunning. Where would you rather be on a weekend night? You know, obviously, like, sometimes you don't get to be with our family. That's totally a thing. But, like, I mean, sometimes they're like, at. At night, at a beach, at sunset. Uh, like, you get to work in some of your favorite places on earth, pretty much shooting cinematic, like, photos, right? With talented, friendly people. So press into that. Enjoy that. And I would also say, like, something that I started doing is look your best. I remember I used to not be into this. I used to not be into dressing nicely for weddings. Um, there was, like, this weird trend, I think, around, like, the 2018 time period, where it was like, I don't know, it was like the weird boho, lackadaisical Just like, show up as you are phase of photography where people. Where photographers would wear a T shirt and sneakers to a wedding or something. And I thought to myself back then, okay, maybe I should do this to be cool. So dumb, so dumb that I did that. I mean, don't get me wrong. If you still do that, whatever, whatever. If you want to wear that and your clients are cool with that, great. I wouldn't recommend it personally. Um, but anyways, one day it just became fun for me to dress up for weddings. And I love dressing up anyway. Like, dress comfortable, absolutely, but dress up, look snazzy. And I mean, I remember one time, um, my wife Kayla, she said, as their photographer, you should look like you are the type of photographer they would hire. Like, you think of that couple. What type of photographer would that couple hire? And what would they be wearing to their wedding? Look like that, you know, like, you should just look like another guest at their wedding. Wear something that matches everyone else, right? Like, if everyone else is in, like black tie, uh, you better be wearing at least a suit. You know what I'm saying? Wear something that you feel excited about. Wear something that matches the energy or matches like your energy too. And it feels like a form of self expression for you. I mean, if you got to even like, get a new outfit for weddings for the year, get one. Get one that you feel confident in and that you show up and you're like, I look good in this. You know what I'm saying? Get ready for people to come up to you and be like you. I love your outfit. You know what I'm saying? Like, be professional. But hey, look good. Be confident in what you're wearing. Fifth mindset I want to give you. Be the artist they paid you to be. They picked you, you to be you with your art as a photographer. Push into that. You are so well equipped for this job. There was this couple that I had, and it. I. I don't know why, but it always sticks out to me. Their names were Kennedy and Adam, and they were just like a very artistic leaning couple, I guess. Or they. I could tell that was like, really important to them. And I remember they just told me, like, Nate, we just want you to just go like, with your creativity. Just like, be. Be quintessentially Nathan Shansky. Because that's what we hired you for and that's what we want you to do. Like, just pour all your creativity into this. Like, be funky, be weird. If you need to be, like, just. We're, We're. We're down for whatever, you know what I'm saying? Like, your couples had all the photographers in the world to hire and they chose you. Like, let that sink in, right? They didn't ask you to be another artist. They didn't ask you to be another photographer. They picked you for your expertise in artistry. Press into that. Okay? Which brings me to the eighth mindset. Let your personal brand shine, okay? And do not try to be someone you're not. Don't have this pressure of being someone that. That doesn't feel like you. There was this, um, time, and I think I've told this story before, where there was this girl who Kayla and I went on a Hawaii, like, not river cruise, but it was just like. It was kind of like a river cruise, but it was in the ocean, um, and it was to like the north coast of Hawaii or something. I might be getting that wrong. But anyways, we went on this little, like, mini cruise around the island and there was this girl there and her name, I think was Nala. And she was. No, Naya. Naya. I think it was Naya. It doesn't matter. Naya. Nala. Whatever her name was, she was so quintessentially herself. She was one of the, um, service people on the cruise ship. And I was actually very. Oh, my gosh, I was so seasick, so nauseous, and I was not having a great time. Kayla was living it up. She loved it. But I was like very seasick. And so I like my ad, uh, between my legs half the time or I was like, trying to look on the horizon the whole time. Anyways, Nya was so kind and just like befriended us and was so sweet to me and just like got me anything I needed, just talked me through it. And I was just like, so struck by the fact that she wasn't this big, larger than life personality. She wasn't someone that just like, you know, like, whoa, like this big personality, whatever. She was actually pretty introverted in a way, but she was just herself. She wasn't like a try hard at anything. It was just like she was just so confidently, securely herself. And I just love that. And it just really hit me in a way that I'd never seen it before because it wasn't again, that she was so charismatic, so outgoing. It's just that she was peaceful and kind and made us feel like friends and we loved her for it and it made the whole experience so comfortable. And by the end of it, we were like, where can we tip this girl? And I mean, we were just like this cruise was fine, the food sucked, but like this girl Naya was the whole thing. Like she was the package deal. And it was just one of my favorite memories from that cruise is how she treated us. And that's the impact that you can have on someone's wedding or someone's photo shoot as a person. You can be that Naya personality to them. Whatever your personality is, even if it is extroverted, even if it is over the top, even if it is introverted, you are cultivating your personal brand when you are there. Like, this is, like this is the opportunity, the gold standard opportunity to develop your personal brand when you are in person with people. And you can literally show people your personal brand on display in real time right in front of people. Right. It's where your personal brand just blooms and comes into focus. So let it out. Right. Don't feel like you have to be someone you're not. I used to think I needed to be someone that I wasn't like overly bubbly in this fun, everybody's favorite dude at weddings. I'm not, I'm not that guy. Like, I'm not that cool of a person. I'm not so charismatic. I'm actually pretty calm. I get excited, I'm fine. I'm actually pretty derpy, silly and like, I can make people laugh pretty quick. But I'm not like this huge, charismatic, over the top person. Right. I like making people safe. I like making people calm when they feel out of control or rushed. I'm pretty laid back actually. I just want to make people feel comfortable. I like to listen a lot. I like to be a, ah, calming presence, not adding to a stress. And I just oftentimes fill in energy where it's needed. Like if the room needs more energy, I'll give it. If it needs more peace, I'll give that. And that's how I am with my personal friends too. So like, whatever that is for you, it doesn't have to be something specific, but put your personal best foot forward and be kind, be professional. But, uh, don't feel like you have to put on this facade and this false, larger than life character for like 10 hours. Oh my gosh, that's exhausting. Being you is exactly what you should be. Yes. Be the best version of yourself. Yes. Maybe pour a little spice. Sprinkle a little spice over your personality. Right. And you can even ask your friends and family. I always tell people to do this. Like, if you don't know what that spice is, if you don't know, like what your thing is, what your best traits and qualities are. Ask your friends, ask your family, ask people you trust. Maybe even ask if you work with a second shooter a lot. Hey, how would you describe me on a wedding day or photo shoot? Or ask your clients or read the reviews they write about you and then lean into those positive traits. That's your sauce. That's your X factor. Step into that again. This is a huge opportunity to make an impression on your clients, on their guests, on fellow vendors. You don't get this opportunity behind a screen. You don't get this opportunity on Instagram as much or even on social media. Like, it's just like something about in person. I can't tell you how many times people have messaged me in inquiries and said, I saw you at a wedding and I never talked to you, but just something about you in person and the way that you carried yourself and the professionalism that you had and the kindness that you demonstrated made me want to reach out to you for my wedding. Okay, so make an impression. Or should I say make your impression, whatever that is. Just be yourself. But be the best version of yourself that you can get, that you can give and almost like, give people a good reason to talk about you afterwards and say, like, yeah, that guy or that gal was incredible as a photographer. Or like, we never worked with a better one. Or I loved how blank they were. You know, flexible, servant hearted, calm, polite, well dressed, friendly, funny, poise, etc. Okay, so that's all I'm going to say to you guys. I want to keep this light and short and sweet, but punchy and encouraging for you. And I want you to get out there and smash it today. You were made for this kind of work. You were prepared for this kind of work. You prepared yourself for this kind of work. God has given you everything you need within your faculties to execute this job with success. All the tools you need to do this. Right there. You're ready? Yes. Your camera's in your backseat. You don't have to stop to check. They're gonna love you. They're gonna think you're great. Okay? So, hey, thank you so much for listening to this episode. Share this to a friend who might need to hear it. Subscribe to the show so you never miss an episode and I will see you back here next week.