When Everything Falls Apart: How to Rebuild With Gratitude, Courage & Faith with Ken Berenger

Speaker A: The perfect lunch combo. That first bite of your favorite sub, followed by ice cold Pepsi. Add a couple of friends, and now that's next level. Suddenly, the laughs get louder, the stories keep flowing, and the food tastes better because Pepsi brings out more flavor, more fun, and more of the moment. Food deserves Pepsi. Grab a Pepsi.

Speaker B: Zero sugar.

Speaker A: Today,

Speaker B: Ken Barringer lost everything more than once and rebuilt each time. But what he gained along the way may be far more important than anything he lost. In this episode, Ken shares how financial collapse, devastating setbacks, the example of his father, and his own evolving spirituality transform the way he thinks about success, money, family, faith, and resilience. He talks about the danger of tying our self worth to our net worth, the humility it takes to receive help, and why some of life's greatest gifts can emerge from the moments we would have never chosen. Ken's story is ultimately about continuing to show up, trusting what life is trying to teach us, and remembering not to become so consumed with rebuilding that we forget to actually live. Enjoy the show. Welcome to Make It a great one with Dr. Dan. This show is all about bringing hope, connection, awareness, and wisdom through meaningful conversations that inspire us to be better versions of ourselves and have a positive impact on humanity. This is your space to pause, reflect, and reconnect with who you are, what you care about, and who you want to be. We have this moment, this day, and this life. Let's make it a great one. My guest today is Ken Barringer, co creator of, uh, Water on Demand, a platform transforming decentralized wastewater infrastructure into an investable asset class. He spent more than three decades across public markets, private debt and equity, corporate finance, real estate, including working with distressed homeowners through the 2008 foreclosure crisis. But this is not a conversation about water infrastructure today. It's a conversation about reinvention, resilience, purpose, and the mindset required to keep moving forward when life doesn't go according to plan. Ken lost everything twice and rebuilt both times, and he credits discipline, humility, and spirituality with making that possible. When not working, he enjoys time with his wife and three kids. Ken, welcome to the show.

Speaker A: And you forgot my dog. That's okay. I didn't put. I didn't put the. I didn't put the dog in.

Speaker B: No, don't let the dog know.

Speaker A: He's 165 pounds, so he has a presence in the room. All right, great. Thank you. Nice. So nice to meet you.

Speaker B: So, Ken, I was, uh, reflecting on, uh, this future conversation. I was thinking about a recent conversation I had With a podcast guest who was going to be a journalist and found himself on Wall street and had a ride, had a road, had a personal collapse that led to his own, uh, discovery, awakening, enlightenment. And here you are. Actor, professional actor, singer, aspirations to go on that path. And you find yourself also on Wall Street.

Speaker A: Right? Um, and there's a story there if you wanted to make it happen.

Speaker B: But I do, I do, I do.

Speaker A: Because barely a professional actor, I was a professional singer. I sang for five years. He did the club circuit, and it was not a job. Um, you know, I mean, the drinks were free and there was girls everywhere. You're 19 or 20 years old was there to talk about. And then one day it became a job. Um, so I answered an ad in, uh, the local. So giving my locality at the time, the New York Newsday. Right. Long Long Island. Right. And, um, I was helping a friend find a job. And I'm looking through the, you know, that's when you look through the newspaper for jobs. And it, uh, there was a thing that said, you know, earn $30,000 a month. Management, uh, management training. And I called the guy up to tell him that he made a mistake. You know, not $30,000 a month. That's what my father makes in a year. So I called him up to say, listen, I'm responding to your ad, but you made a mistake. It's $30,000, you know, a month. It's. That's a mistake. He goes, no, that's real. And he spent a few minutes telling me about it, and I said, um, I'll be right down. And so now I, I show up, I've got a mullet because I'm a singer, right? So I got, I got the mullet. I own a single button down shirt and a pair of slacks, right? And I do the interview and I meet this guy.

Speaker B: All right, give us the year. Are we talking 80s here now? What are we. Or 90s?

Speaker A: No, no, I still had a mullet in the early 90s.

Speaker B: Okay, um, good, good, good.

Speaker A: It was like 91, right, right.

Speaker B: Well, so did Billy Ray Cyrus, so that's.

Speaker A: I mean, it was still mullet.

Speaker B: Ish.

Speaker A: Right? So I get in front of this guy, he's a guy from Bayside, and he talks like this, you know, I'm like, oh, boy. And he, you know, and he's going, and he's asking all these questions, and I have no financial background whatsoever. I mean, I was a student in school and, and, and you know, all that stuff. But, um, I worked manual labor because I Thought that's what a kid from long. You know, you sweat your ass off in the summer. That's what, you know, that's what you do. And I had a. I had a talent for performing, so I was. That was how I was earning my living while I was going to college, you know, um, as I said, it wasn't a real job until it was, um. So I'm getting murdered in this interview. I'm just bombing, right? And his last comment. I got nothing to lose. His last comment goes, so how much you want to make at this. At this job? And I said, well, after talking to you for 20 minutes more than you, I. And I, I. I didn't plan that. Yeah, just. And I. And I reached for it and I missed it, and. And he just smiled at me and he said, all right, you start Monday, you know. And that was, um, that was the beginning of a roller coaster.

Speaker B: Wow.

Speaker A: Wow.

Speaker B: Yeah. Okay, so let's go. Let's. Let's go on the up. Let's go on the up. Oh, and you alluded to your dad, so let's. Actually, let's still back for a second. Because you come from humble, modest roots, and here you were answering like, what you knew About Finance was $30,000 a month was a lot of. I could read. Right.

Speaker A: Exactly.

Speaker B: Right.

Speaker A: Yeah.

Speaker B: So you come from these humble roots. And, um. Um, what I also learned. Say a little bit about your dad, who's a very special person who taught you a lot about life because it, like, sets the stage for your full, I guess, your rotation around. Around the moon.

Speaker A: Okay, I'm going to try. I lost my dad a couple months ago, so, uh, I still don't do well. Um, I'll do my best. Um, grew up in Greenpoint, Brooklyn. One of 10 kids to an alcoholic, abusive father. Married, uh, his childhood sweetheart, stayed with for 62 years. He did something extraordinary. He did something that I still haven't figured out. And I, I wrote about this on the night he passed. I just, you know, I went on social media. It was just stream of consciousness, you know, um, he went into the trades. Um, again, has eight. Had like, six brothers. They were all alcoholics. My father never touched a drop of alcohol. He made a conscious decision that wasn't going to be him. Married, his childhood sweetheart, went into the trades and became one of the top producing iron workers in the entire. He built half of New York City. Um, I sat at the top of the city court building, the one with the big slant on the top. I sat on that one. It was A skeleton. Uh, as a kid I was there because my, he, my father had nobody to watch. My brother and I, my mother had left, uh, for 18 months he had left, um, and uh, rather than, you know, he just, he, he made it work. Like this man, iron worker, but was home at 3 o' clock every day. You know, we were able to come home from school on our own. And he was just there and he just made it work. And um, he uh, we bought a, a clean, nice small safe house in a, in a, in a. Not a modest blue collar neighborhood on Franklin Square, New York. Um, holla to my NASA county peeps. And uh, he bought this house. And then he did something that I've not yet been able to figure out how to do. He stopped. That's all he ever wanted. He never aspired to anything else. And he tinkered in his garage and he cut his grass and he coached us, uh, boys in all of the different sports. And that's all he ever wanted. And I still haven't figured out how to do that. It's a gift beyond measure really. So I, um, don't know how spiritual you want to get here. I um, in 2021, I had moved out to Pittsburgh 10 years ago. 2021, I was visiting my dad and um, it was right during the COVID thing and he had just gotten the COVID shot and his heart stopped right in my arms. And I um, was 54. I was a junior lifeguard at 14. I hadn't done CPR on a human being ever in my life. And I was the instrument, I believe I was the instrument of God's grace in that moment. Because you know, um, people who are unafraid, fearlessness is for psychopaths and lunatics and, you know, and fools. And that moment would have terrified me. And I was completely calm and I remembered it like it was yesterday. And I sat there for 18 minutes breathing into my father's body, talking to him and praying. And um, they come through the door, they zap him and his heart stops. And his heart stops, starts again. That's a much longer story. It's absolutely torture. Um, and they take him away and I drive my 80 year old mother to the uh, to the longest drive ever to the hospital. And it's in that drive there. Then you start to pan like then did I, you know, did I break his ribs? Did I do you know, you know, um, but I mean, to the nearest of my ability, I, I think I performed it far more flawlessly than this flawed human being could. Do it right. I get to the hospital and the ambulance, um, driver's waiting for me, and I'm like, ugh. Now this whole time I'm romanticizing. I. Because I said to my. One of the last things I said to my father before the paramedics came in, I said, dad, please don't let this be my last memory of you, you know, crying on a. On a. On a hotel room floor. Right. I mean, awful. And it was like God answered me. They came through the door and they zapped him and they looked at each other, shocked him. They say, when did you start? And I said, 30 seconds. And they said, okay. He waited for me, and I said, okay, he's going to tell me he's gone. Right. I didn't get to say goodbye. And, uh, he was visibly shaken, and he walked up to me, m. And he said, Mr. Barringer, I wanted to just tell you I, uh, wanted a way to speak to you. He goes, I've been doing this for 22 years. This has never happened to me. Your father woke up in the ambulance and he said, you saved your father's life. That's when I lost it. That's when. I mean, I just grabbed him and I hugged him. And then, of course, all of that emotion came out. But I. We had another five years with him. I just lost them in January. Um, but I have been fortunate and blessed beyond my deserving my entire life. Um, I set out to be. You know, I always wanted to be more successful than my father, and I realized I can never be more successful than my father. Has nothing to do with finance. It has to do with quality of man. Being utterly content where you are in that moment. It's something I struggle with to this day. I mean, I'm getting better at it. Um, I'm pushing 60, so, uh, I'll get it right by like, 80 or 90. But that my father came from the silent generation. They're just different. They're just built different. And, um, we could use more of them in this world.

Speaker B: Yeah.

Speaker A: But, um, yeah, that's my dad.

Speaker B: Yeah. Yeah. Um, thank you for sharing that.

Speaker A: It's okay.

Speaker B: And, uh.

Speaker A: And I made it. I got.

Speaker B: I got through it.

Speaker A: I got through it.

Speaker B: Very sorry for your loss. And, um, he's, uh. I know. Still with you. Um. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker A: He was a. He's a massive ghost in my life. You know, it's, um, in a good way, but, you know, he's very much there, so. But that's where. That's where I learned, you know, Look, I mean, I grew up in New York city in the 60s and 70s. My childhood was like, was like, you know, psychic trauma. It's like walk it off, right? So I think a lot of that, you know, being able to come back from stuff just comes from that upbringing, right. Blue collar upbringing from a kid from Brooklyn, you know, that sort of thing.

Speaker B: Well, and, and you know, you've had, you've lost, you've had, you've lost. And for, for all of us who know what it's like to experience financial stress, um, debt, um, and regardless of the absolute number, there's a relative. It's all relative for everyone. Doesn't matter.

Speaker A: It's everything, right? Yeah, it's everything.

Speaker B: It's everything.

Speaker A: You lose everything. It's everything.

Speaker B: Right?

Speaker A: Yeah.

Speaker B: And so you wrote it up and there are a lot of different market factors, you know, that we can or don't have to get into. But in both in your businesses, in, um, in Wall street, in real estate, I mean, there were the market factors created the, the rise and the fall. However, uh, so there's two. There's two main things I want to talk about and we'll get there as we get there, which is one is how the resiliency of how you got out, and secondly, how you were changed and evolved through each of these learnings. I m. Will say now to more and more approximate this ideal of your father. Right. Like to become the same that this. I feel this aspiration.

Speaker A: I wish. Yeah, but I get it. Yeah, I get it. Yeah. So what did I do?

Speaker B: How'd you do it?

Speaker A: Um, the gift of desperation is a gift. Um, you know, so when you have absolutely no choice. Right. Resilience, you know, I joke, I look at. If you live my life, you have to joke about some of this stuff. And I have a lot of jokes about it. Right. Resilience is just refusing to die, having no idea how you're going to get through it. You're just too dumb to die. Right. Too dumb to just give up. Right. That, that's a lot of times that all is resilience is if you. So keeping it simple, um, I would get on my knees twice a day, once in the morning, please, in the morning. Thank you. At night, no matter how bad the day went, that's what I did. I tried to retain gratitude. Um, when I lost my first crash, I was in my 20s and I went from, you know, being a clown that shook his butt on stage and sang for a living to working on Wall street, making a lot of money. And um, when that went away, see, after a couple years, Wall street trains you that you're really only valuable if you're producing. I have a saying that I share with my male friends and the older male friends get it. A lot of people don't ask men if they're okay. They're not really asking you that. They're asking you if you're still useful. That's Wall Street. Like it's not. They don't give a if you're okay. Right. They care if you're useful. And they associate your entire identity with being productive. I was a top producer and I, you know, I walked around like a, like a big, you know, because I, I had a gift. I was very, I was very talented in that respect. I was, I was a great communicator. And um, it helped me. And when that goes, when you're in your 20s, and that is you're now your entire identity, you begin to associate your self worth with your net worth. Well, what happens when that all goes away? I felt completely worthless, utterly worthless. Dark, dark moments. I mean, I was never, you know, the guy standing on the, on the, on the edge. But there were moments where I'd be like, it'd be easier just not to wake up.

Speaker B: Right.

Speaker A: And um, I had friends, a lot of friends that worked on Wall Street. Um, I had a wife who was battling addiction and mental illness her entire adult life. I had understanding of what went on there. Um, peripherally, I uh, watched her struggle. I had a friend of mine, guy, buddy of mine who was also struggling with his own alcohol problem. And this was at a, uh, you know, this was like, uh, like after the first crash, the second crash never really happened because I never really got, really got anywhere. I kind of, I got into the mortgage business. I was highly successful. I was only. I was too m. You know, if you have a million dollar net worth and you lose $2 million, what do you worry? I mean that, that's where I was, right? I was in my 30 something years old and I uh, was underwater. Um, but he, he, he was struggling with alcohol and uh, with drugs. And he said to me, something, something he almost picked up and one of the rooms, he said, you're perfect and you have everything you need. My first reaction was f you because I was in a bad pet. Yeah, I mean, you know, my wife, when the money ran out, she ran out, you know, and, and it was bad. I had a six year old son and I was barely, you know, I was trying to dig out of what happened And I was angry. I was really angry. And then I sat with it. I went, I do, right? I mean, you know, you see. You see the friend. You know, you see a friend of yours who gets word he's got pancreatic cancer and he's dead in six weeks. And you go, he'd kill to have my problems. So that's when I. I got. I started getting on my knees, right? Please, in the morning, just keep it simple. Just please, God, help me get to bed a better man than I woke up. Please. Right. Even just, you know, and then at night. Thank you. That I'm sleeping in my own bed. And nothing went sideways. Right. Really. Like, if you put your expectations in those days into a bottle and you say, five years out. If you pull that thing out five years later, you're astonished how little you thought you'd accomplish. Right? Just steady. Just keep swinging. Keep swinging. That was my, uh. That was my thing. So when you don't have a choice, it makes your choice easy. You just survive, and you just keep going. Um. And that's what I did.

Speaker B: There's a lot of people, you know, I mean, to be human, it comes with adversity. It comes with curveballs. It comes with, um, as. Let's just say. Opportunities. Right. Yeah, it comes with opportunities.

Speaker A: And

Speaker B: I have found it's easy to be working with my clients and to talk about the setbacks, the curveballs as opportunities for growth, which I know every one of them. My heart.

Speaker A: They are every one of them. But when you don't know till after.

Speaker B: Yeah, yeah. You don't.

Speaker A: Your ability to communicate, to. Look, I promise you, this is, uh. And he's like, no way. Right, right, right. So it's very. I. I sympathize because it's so difficult. I look back now, some of the greatest gifts in my life were losing everything. Right. Um, It. It. So I. I think the. I think the thing that I. I'll give you. I'll give you an example. After Wall street went away, I realized that I had developed an ability to really communicate. Well, I trained, you know, hundreds and hundreds of stockbrokers. And these guys were dummies. I mean, they couldn't find their butt with both hands. And yet I trained them in a very systematic way how to present themselves professionally, how to, you know, it was all, you know, all that stuff. And I got really good at it, and I used it, and that carried me for 20 years. But I learned how to sell anything. And I. And. And I went into. From business after business, and I Took a core of what I see when you start, you've got this much good and the rest is crap. And you start to pick on accumulation. Right. And, and the, the stuff that you have that's good gets bigger and bigger and less. And, and you, and you more easily shed the parts that aren't serving you. Right. That only comes from being foolish enough not to die. Right. And, and, and, and um, but every single crash, the crash was the opportunity because again, I, here's the thing. Um, you shouldn't judge your life by your greatest moment. Uh, and you shouldn't judge it by your worst moment. As long as you keep learning stuff through those, through those episodes and you keep growing and you keep pushing forward, you are better for it. There's absolutely no question about it. Um, I lived a life of crisis through my early years, uh, into my teen years, into my Wall street years. And um, I was in. Have you ever heard of Superstorm Sandy?

Speaker B: Oh yeah.

Speaker A: I lived in Long Beach. I lived in an old building and the whole thing was going like this and they had to put us up there and everyone's freaking out and I'm like, this is like a Tuesday. Like, you know, and, and you know, I remember everyone thinking, is the building going to fall? And I tell my wife now the building's not going to fall. And this guy Jerry, who had, we had a second floor apartment. I went from having a house on the water to having a house in the water, which was very cool. Right.

Speaker B: And it was worth a lot less at that.

Speaker A: Yes, right. It's. Yeah, right, exactly. Did affect the value for sure. Um, so we're in the building and he says, what do you think I said, I said, I think the house, I think the building's going to come down. Like it was that. But I didn't panic because, you know, when you survive a lot of things, when you go, you say to yourself, this too shall pass. At first. This too shall pass is a coping mechanism and then it becomes a belief system.

Speaker B: Right.

Speaker A: Because it does.

Speaker B: Mhm.

Speaker A: Right. Like if you say something enough times, it becomes true. That's not always the case, but this too shall pass actually does manifest as positive, as true. If, if you survive enough times and you know, and live to think about saying it, if that helps.

Speaker B: And I've had a similar one, um, which I have been cultivating is, um, this is happening for me instead of this is happening to me.

Speaker A: That's great. Yeah, that's exactly right. That's exactly right. Um, and you know what I do now I, I, when my prayers are a little bit more detailed now, when you have more to ask for and more to lose, you, you ask for

Speaker B: more longer and you try to protect more.

Speaker A: Like I had nothing. Like just, you know, you know, let me not go to jail and, and you know, let me, let me get through the day.

Speaker B: Now you have paragraphs, you have, it's,

Speaker A: now you have stuff, right? Now you have stuff, right? Yeah, but like when bad stuff happens, I've now trained myself to say, what is it you're trying to show me? Show me your will. Because I don't know it. Right. Um. And, and that becomes again, that becomes a muscle. Right. You just keep using that muscle over and over.

Speaker B: Mm mhm hm. This is making me, um. Do you, do you ever meditate? I'm putting this in. It sounds like you pray. Do you ever do what you call meditation?

Speaker A: Yeah, I've tried. I've tried. I started with a guy who was teaching me how and we kind of lost touch. I would absolutely want to do it now. Understand that if you get good enough at prayer, it is a form of meditation. It's not quite as, you know, it's there, but it, it is more spiritually aligned than it is physically or, or, um, mentally, you know, in that, in that mode. It. But you know, I found, um, I had to fix my spirit. I had to improve the man that woke up every day if I had any hope of being the father that my son deserved and the man that God intended me to be. That meant a lot of work and a lot of that was just prayer. So I just had, I, I made a purpose. I made a conscious effort to try to get good at it.

Speaker B: Mhm.

Speaker A: To try to get good of. You know, when things were really, really bad. Dan. Those two moments. Morning. See, only time there was quiet was the only time the noise stopped and it was blessed and it was peaceful. Right, Right. So the prayers got longer because they were, you know, they were moments of reprieve, if that makes sense.

Speaker B: Right. Meditative. And that's why, that's where, um, that's where I was going. Because I know, um, there are many that think of prayer as very different than meditation. And there are also many that as you are alluding to, see, um, them as opposite side of the same coin.

Speaker A: They are, I think.

Speaker B: Yeah. And um, they are, they can become states that we get into. Um, some people say, well, prayer is asking and meditation is receiving. And I, I think I understand people seeing it differently and totally open to how people, um, see it. And experience it. I think what's important is what you just mentioned is it's. In those times, if one can find quiet. Mm. And inner peace, um, it is a different experience of ourselves and a different experience of ourselves in our surroundings.

Speaker A: Yeah. Um, I don't. I mean, look, so, all right, no one. No one goes to church because everything's groovy, right? There are no, um, atheists in a foxhole. So when your life is hell, you know, you ha. You. You try to find something. Um, I found, um. I was a lapsed Catholic, and I found, you know, and I. I. I'm not religious at all. I am deeply spiritual, though I do have a unique and very, very close and personal relationship with the. The higher power, which is I choose to call God. Right. But, um, my. My prayer is a form of meditation. And. And those of you who are more expert at it than I will certainly push back, and I welcome it. But a lot of times my prayers aren't asking for anything. I'll just share my day with the Lord. I'll just process it. Now, uh, technically, he's supposed to know, right? But it's not for him. It's for me, right? It's in service to myself. It's. It's saying, so here's what happened today and really processing it, right? Getting through that. And sometimes you leave that prayer seeing something different or capturing a gift. Um, there's grace everywhere, if you know where to look. I gave you that huge grace, you know, when. When I felt I was the instrument of God's grace and mercy at a moment when, 40 years later, I gave. I gave CPR to my daughter, my dead father. And, um, that was beyond my human ability to do that, that calmly, yet that was grace. But that's not. I mean, the big stuff is, you know, once in a lifetime, there's a million little things that happen to you in your day that are. That are. That are grace. And it's the ability to be open to them, to be an antenna. Right. And to receive them. You talked about receiving, right? I would love to do meditation because I would love to receive. I do ask and I do sometimes share, but, um, anything that helps me create quietude in my mind, yeah, I think it's. I think it's a great thing, and I think it's something men in particular need. Um, remember I asked. I m mentioned to you. People ask you, how you doing? Because they're really concerned if you're just still useful. M. Men don't ask for help. Men don't very often don't ask to receive. Um, one of the hardest things in my life. Ah. If you don't mind me sharing it. When things were really bad. It was my second. Yeah, it was the second crash was the middle of second crash. I met my. Who is now my wife. Uh, my kids are in the back there. Um, we were dating, we were living together. Um, and things were bad. You know, things were bad. Like I. I was hitting my knees every day and I was, I was working 18 hours a day. Um, stressed out of my mind. I didn't have enough money. It was Christmas. My son was 6 years old. I. I had to either buy Christmas presents or keep the lights on. That's how bad it was. And, um, you know, this is from a guy who was. You know, I was rich a couple years ago. Right. Um, it was very huge. It was. So my wife, who worked a very low paying job, went out and bought Christmas presents for my son. It was the most humbling, embarrassing and precious moment I've ever. So, uh, the hard part wasn't the fact that she had to buy them. The hard part was that I had to accept them. Yeah, that was really hard. You know, it was just like. I almost wanted to say, no, no, no, no. But you know what, when you become a parent, all of a sudden it's nothing is about you. Right. You go from, uh, uh, I'm sure mother's experience, but as a father, I went from one day, everything was about me to the following day, absolutely nothing was about me. I was a footnote in my own story. And for some, for some reason, I was okay with that. Like, you look down on your child and you go, okay, I can be a distant third. I'm fine with that. Right. You know, that's, that's just every. So, yeah, um, I fell more in love with her in that moment. I resented her at first, um, and I actually was hurt by it. But I realized I wasn't hurt by her action. I was hurt by my need to receive it. Right, right. Um, but it was, it was, it was embarrassing. It was humiliating, it was humbling. And it was also one of the purest. You know, this was a woman buying gifts for a child that wasn't hers. You know what I mean? For me, so I could be a dad that showed up. I mean, holy cow.

Speaker B: Right? You want to.

Speaker A: If you, yeah. If you don't come out of that experience changed, you're dead.

Speaker B: Right, Right.

Speaker A: You're already dead. So that, yeah, that, that was just a, you know, a Thing.

Speaker B: Yeah. And I, I. As I reflect on what you're saying and, um, my own experiences looking out the window above the screen here at these beautiful trees that I get to look at, um, there is beauty and miracles and grace, you say, all around us, and, um, what most of us don't do. And I think this is human nature, and this is why these conversations are so important, that we don't. We don't have the gratitude or see the beauty or slow down until something major and catastrophic, literally or figuratively, takes us to our knees. M. And this morning I was meditating in this chair where I look. I, uh. And it gets me into this place. And usually when I open my eyes, like, everything I see clearly for, uh, a short period of time. And I looked out the window at this grass that's always there, that's, you know, three feet high, and was just dancing in the wind. And it was so sharp and it was so clear. And I sat there watching it. It would start and it would stop and I would see, like, oh, it's almost like choreographed. And. And, you know, I'm like, I'm experiencing a show. Oh, wait, this is nature. Wait, this is always there.

Speaker A: This is a show.

Speaker B: Right. Every moment. And I don't pay attention to it. And it's. All of this is around us all the time. And it's back to what your friend told you, which is like, you're perfect. Like, uh, basically everything you have, everything you need. And I know for many listening and watching, that might land in a different place because of the real struggle. And, uh, landed different for me.

Speaker A: Dan.

Speaker B: Yeah, I was.

Speaker A: I was pissed off when he first said it.

Speaker B: Yeah.

Speaker A: Have you seen my bills? Have you seen my life? My crazy ex wife? Like, you know, and then, you know, uh. So here's the thing. How many times have you seen those trees dance? And you just didn't take time to see it. That's not the first time that happened. It was the first time that you noticed it in that frame for a minute. Absolutely right. So that's our ability to. Our ability to tune ourselves to, um, life's wonders.

Speaker B: Right.

Speaker A: Uh, you know what I mean? And they are so numerous. We tend to latch on to the big ones. But it's when you notice the little ones, you realize how good your day is because there's a dozen of them.

Speaker B: Right, right, right.

Speaker A: Very tough to do, though, when you're in a bad place.

Speaker B: Very hard to do. And, um, I also often draw on some of the wisdom of the Dalai Lama. And one that applies here is we can be. He says something to something akin to we can be okay even if our life situation is not okay. And we. And that's hard because we usually, like, how are you? Well, it's like, how are you? So a male example. How are you? Well, let me look at my bank account. Uh, let me look at my. How. What people think about me at work. Right, right. Like, that's how I am. Um, and as you point out, really test the theory.

Speaker A: Hang on a minute. Ask someone. Like, when someone asks you how, if you start to tell them, they give you that look like you're supposed to say, okay and keep walking.

Speaker B: Right.

Speaker A: You know, like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. I didn't want the long version. Right. And that's to your. So most people, it is a perfunctory kind of. It's like a. No, it's like a head nod. Right. They really don't want to know. So the idea is to find as many people in your life that when they ask, they are actually asking because they want to know. You're not going to have a lot of them, but you don't need a lot of them. You know, as I was young, when I was younger, I had a million friends. Right.

Speaker B: As I get older, for people just listening, there are air quotes there. Friends.

Speaker A: Yeah, yeah, air quotes. Right. Um, I have five or six. Truly. I mean, it's, you know, the guy who shows up and says, listen, it's three o' clock in the morning, get in the car, I need your help. And you don't even ask, like, where we're going. That's, you know, you got like three of those. Right? And, and that's because over time we develop a sense of, of people that we can truly trust. Um, and that's all you need. You really don't need to be surrounded by millions of people who adore you. Right. Air quotes again. Uh, you really need to be surrounded by a few people that get you. And when they ask how you're doing, they actually stop to listen for an answer. Right. That's again, uh, more grace in my. In my view.

Speaker B: Right. Money, um. Oh, what's your relationship with it now?

Speaker A: Yeah.

Speaker B: As you've had a lot, you've lost a lot. You, I believe, are running three companies now.

Speaker A: I'm the CEO of three companies.

Speaker B: Right. Um, you are. You raise money. You raise big dollars. Um, for this latest venture, I think the number was 21 million alone. Um, it's probably higher since I. Since I read that, thankfully.

Speaker A: Yes, yes. Uh, yeah.

Speaker B: Yes.

Speaker A: So what, how has your relationship with money changed? Yeah, the difference between. My relationship with money now is the difference between, well, it's the difference between a man pushing 60 as opposed to a 20 something year old man who never had it, having money. Uh, so my relationship to money now is also different from this perspective of someone who's had it, lost it, had it, lost it. Um, you know, you can survive. Look, I've been, I've been very well off and I've been broke. Broke still sucks. I mean, you know, it's like, you know, it hap, you know, so money doesn't buy happiness. It makes misery or misery a lot easier to deal with. Um, I'm much more cautious. I mean, um, you think you're cautious because of age, you're not, you're cautious because of life experience. I'm not afraid. In fact, um, I'm a risk taker. I take risks in ventures all the time. But they're calculated, they're carefully contemplated, they're also mitigated. I got gates on both sides. I never used to do that. It was just jump off the cliff. So, um, my relationship with money is much healthier now. I know I can live without it. I work very hard to make sure I don't have to. Um, and I teach the value of it to my children. Um, I'm in a position where your first impulse is to, you know, you finally get through a tough time, you want to spoil the hell out of your kids, and they don't. Um, if he wants money, I make them cut the grass. Or I make him carry rocks in the backyard, right? Or I make them wash my dog who's 165 pound, Turkish Congo. I mean, it's that, that's a job, right? Um, but I, I, I, I associate them, getting money to them with performing a function. Um, and I say, that was hard, wasn't it? And it was only $15. Now imagine that $400 console you want to buy. Imagine how much labor has to go into that. And they've gotten, you know, my wife rolls her eyes, but she gets it right. Um, my parents never taught me about money. Um, I remember the first big paycheck I had when they took the, like, I, I had the number that I earned on Wall Street. It was a number and I got the check and I was like, oh my God, it was half gone, right? So I teach, you know, I try to teach about that, my relationship with money. To answer you, uh, more succinctly, is money is now not Something I need to live, but I use it as a companion, and I use it. Um, I, uh, try. I hope sincerely that I have a great deal more wisdom about it than I did back then.

Speaker B: Yeah. Yeah. As we are starting to wind down, I wanted to ask you about saying yes. Because what I've learned is a few times when you just said yes without doing a whole bunch of research about a company, that they needed your help, they knew what you were good at, they wanted you to raise money. Sounded interesting. You said, sure. And those turned into some of the best decisions that you have made.

Speaker A: Right? Um, so again, um, I didn't make any of these decisions, Dan.

Speaker B: You were guided.

Speaker A: Yes.

Speaker B: You were guided.

Speaker A: Like, boink. I was like, okay, right. So I. I believe that I am gr. Blessed and graced by God. I believe that he guides me every day. Um, I was. You know, I had a business and was running. It's my third up now, right? It's my third up. Uh, right now. This one I'm not so anxious about. And things are working. So I worked in the mortgage business. I actually developed a new industry to help the homeowners harmed. This was my penance for being a mortgage guy. Right. I created a company that saved hundreds and hundreds of homes. I made a boatload of money, don't get me wrong. But I saved hundreds of people's homes. And this was like, this was what I was doing at a time when someone just called me and said, want to raise money? And I went, sure, right? Um, and I started out as a hired gun, and I worked for companies as a contractor, as a guy with a. I'm like Liam Neeson. I have a unique set of skills.

Speaker B: Right.

Speaker A: Um, and. And I was really, really good at it. Right. And then the second time, I, I, I kind of moved out of one company, was recruited by another through a friend from. Who knew me from Wall Street. And, um, I started doing my thing, you know, creating capital, uh, formation documents to. To. To build the narrative on why this was a good idea. And I started giving a lot of, um, strategic advice to the CEO. He'd say, why would I think that's a good idea? And he'd say, tell me why. He was a lot older than me, but he didn't think he knew everything, so he listened a lot. And I think that's a sign of real wisdom. And I gave him a lot. I gave him. I gave him a lot of free advice, right? But he followed it. So as months went by and years went by, he said, you know, I Want you to be a big part of this organization. I'm going to make you, you know, kind of a regular fixture. I founded a company with him when it became. When I understood that the m. The business I was in wasn't about technology or, or. Or water. Uh, it was about the money, stupid. Water is underfunded asset, the most vital asset in the world. I created a capital formation vehicle so if people could invest in. And that was my creation. And, um, I recently lost him in April. He passed away. Um, but he was my mentor and my friend. And so I. And this was all about. What was this about? It was about solving a big problem. Right. The other two companies that I am now the founder of were just companies that I. I saw something not being done. Right? It was like, you don't do it like that. And, and like no one else knew how to do it. So I created a company and I started just. They're all really just solving problems, right? Um, I don't. Here's the thing. I could not do what I do now. I could not have done any of these things, started any of these companies, formed them with the complete confidence that God is on my side. Fifteen years ago, not that I didn't have the. I had the exact same talent today that I had 15 years ago. What I lacked was certainty. It's going to be okay. Through all of this shit that I went through, never once I just said, it's gotta be okay. Look, the hardest part, not when the things were really down. Like when you'd go. When you go months and months and months and months. On your knees every day, please, and thank you. And nothing would change. Nothing got worse, right? Worse would have been better. I gotta pray harder, right? But nothing of it. And you say to yourself, maybe this is it. Like, maybe this is as good as it gets. And I'm like, no, you know what? God didn't put me in this place to, um, you know, to. To get me here. Evidence of that is Superstorm Sandy destroyed my home. We lived in a condo that my wife. My now wife refers to as Cocoon. You ever seen a movie, Cocoon?

Speaker B: Yes.

Speaker A: Bunch of old people. And that was us. Yeah, we were in our, like, 30s, right? And. And we were never going to have a baby there. I mean, it was a two bedroom condo on the water that ended up in the water. And um, when. When the storm wiped me out, it wiped out my business, it wiped out my home. I lost my home, my business and three cars. And I only owned two. That's A whole other story. And we literally had to move 40 miles away to East Islip, Long Island. We found a rental home. By a miracle, 250,000 homes were destroyed in a day. Right? We found this home. It was on a nature preserve. There were deer in the backyard. And in that home is where I conceived our son. We conceived our son. So everything that happened happened because it was supposed to happen, if that makes sense. None of this is by accident. I'm not smart enough to tell you how it works. I just show up and try to play by the rules. I try to be a good person. Um, there are days I do much better than others, but I try to look forward, be a good example, be a man that. You know, when your father passes now, he's watching everything you do. It's different than when you do your weekly report. So how are you, Ken?

Speaker B: You can tell him.

Speaker A: You can omit stuff. I was a real asshole yesterday, dad. You know? Um, now he's watching, and I got to make him proud every day.

Speaker B: Right?

Speaker A: So I'm sorry I wandered, but, um, I enjoy speaking with you. Um, the. The, uh. The greatest gifts I have in my life today were things I never planned on, things that I simply like moving, would I ever have. I was. I owned that house. I was making payments on. I was never going to move it. God dropped a storm on me and said, yes, you're going to move. And I said, okay, right? That's the same thing as the job. Okay.

Speaker B: Right.

Speaker A: Um. There is a. I. I have always operated enormously through intuition, gut instinct. Now, instincts are honed over time. They're not always good right away. As you will get older, hopefully they get better.

Speaker B: Yeah.

Speaker A: But every time I've defied my instinct, I've paid a price. Uh, every time. And terrible. And because then there's also the self loathing that comes from. I should have listened to my gut. So I stopped doing that. If you present me as a CEO, if you present me with overwhelming data that my gut's wrong. Okay, that's fine. I'm not. I'm not a maniac. But it better be. Really. It can't be close, right? It can't be like a photo finish. It's got to be overwhelming. And, um. And you know what? I. You know what that gut is? That's God speaking to me. Right? And he hasn't been wrong yet. He's got me here. You know what I mean? I. A lot of my life, I survived. But during the days that I was literally in that building mode where if you become only about rebuilding, you miss a decade of your life.

Speaker B: Yeah.

Speaker A: The first decade that I was rebuilding, the first time I made sure I went running on the beach every day, I turned physical fitness into an absolute obsession. M. Because I couldn't have a sharp mind if I didn't have a sharp body. But what happened along the way? I spent every day running on the beach, smelling the salt air, hearing the seagulls. Living life. Absorbing life. Right. Absorbing God's grace. Um, that wasn't. I wasn't smart enough to go into it with that intention. It's just how it. How it worked out.

Speaker B: Yeah. So one of the many. The many lessons, um, many morals is, um, for everyone. Allow. Yes, allow. Listen, trust. And, um, faith is a big part of your story. It's faith.

Speaker A: Yes, Faith. And if you're going to kind of repeat words that are supposed to encourage people to do things. Failure is not fatal. Success is not permanent. You are not the sum of your best day. You're not as good as your best day, and you're not as bad as your worst day. Like, your life isn't as good as your best day, and your life isn't as bad as your worst day. Keep showing up, keep trying, um, allow things to happen. Also, we all have within us, Dan, the ability to. We have a. It's an almost an unconscious voice that so many of us ignore.

Speaker B: Right.

Speaker A: We do. We just, uh. Well, I'm told I'm not supposed to. And you ignite. You miss a lot of God's grace. A lot of. Or a lot of life's opportunities by ignoring those things. I've never ignored them because there was most of my. Most of my life. I was too stupid to know better. So I just followed my instincts.

Speaker B: Right?

Speaker A: I just said, okay, you know, and like you said, okay, I've done that a lot. I've done that a lot, and I've. I can't think of one that I regret.

Speaker B: Yeah. So. All right, we're going to close on a quote from you that I heard you say on a recent, ah, podcast, and I wrote it down.

Speaker A: Okay.

Speaker B: Find out what your special gift is. Use your superpower and do something outside your comfort zone. Make a difference.

Speaker A: Yeah. Okay.

Speaker B: There it is. There it is. There it is.

Speaker A: Great.

Speaker B: Ken, thank you. Thank you for sharing your story. And, um, tell everyone you do have all these businesses.

Speaker A: You do, you do.

Speaker B: And you. And. And making an impact with your business.

Speaker A: Yes, I am.

Speaker B: So tell everyone where they can look you up.

Speaker A: Right. So you can find me on X at Ken Berenger. Word of caution.

Speaker B: I'm a kid from Brooklyn, so he cusses.

Speaker A: I do. It's, it's true. You can find me on X at Ken Barringer. Um, and if you want to find out more about my journey, um, and really what we're building, we're building kind of a democratized asset class so everyone can participate in the, the betterment of the, of our world, uh, undoing centuries of neglect. Um, you can go to waterondemand.com and you'll kind of read about what our do, what we're doing and what our mission is.

Speaker B: Great, great. Thanks, Ken. Best to you.

Speaker A: My pleasure. Thanks so much.

Speaker B: Y. Ken is a testament to losing everything is not losing everything. Here are five key takeaways from our conversation. Number one, your self worth cannot be tied to your net worth. Ken learned firsthand how easily achievement and productivity can become identity and how devastating it could feel when those external measures disappear. Number two, Resilience sometimes means simply refusing to stop. There isn't always a grand strategy for getting through adversity. Sometimes it's gratitude. Another day, another step, and continuing to swing even when you can't see how things will turn around. Number three, Learning to receive can be as important as learning to give. One of Ken's most humbling moments came when his future wife bought Christmas presents for his son because he couldn't afford them. The experience forced him to accept love and help when his pride wanted to refuse both. Number four, pay attention to the small moments of grace. Extraordinary moments are rare, but smaller moments of beauty, connection, kindness, and grace surround us every day when we're receptive enough to notice them. And number five, don't spend your entire life rebuilding your life. One of Ken's most powerful observations is that if rebuilding becomes your sole focus, you can lose years that you'll never get back. Keep pursuing what's next, but experience what is happening around you now. As bad as things get for us, we always have something. And it's in those moments that we need to stay present, have faith, and often surrender and focus on what is right in front of us now with the hope of what can be. Thank you for listening, for being a part of our amazing community, for bringing your people to us. Please share this episode with anyone and everyone you think will benefit. And as always, we have this moment, this day, and this life. Let's Make It a great One. This has been a Peters and Rossi production. Make It a Great one with Dr. Dan is produced by Amber Miller. Our engineer is Phil Rossi. Theme music is uplifting folk by awesome music. Artwork by Kelly Dwyer. Follow us on social media at AH DrDan Peters. For more information, visit DrDampeters.com.