090: Pausing to Evolve: Deepening my commitment to trauma informed leadership

Hi, welcome to Evolve, a new era of leadership. I'm Carolyn Suara, your host, and today's going to be a little bit different. It's just going to be me and you. You know, it's the 90th episode of the show.

I've been coming to you almost for two years now, weekly, with incredible guests. And so it's a little bittersweet for me as I share with you that I've decided to take a pause from podcasting for a while. I have loved every minute of doing this work, and it's something that has given me great joy. I've had some really, really profound conversations with well over 90 guests.

You know, some of our shows we had two guests on. And so meeting with all of these people has really deepened my belief in the transformative power of trauma-informed leadership. You know, when I started this show two years ago, it was right when I had submitted the final version of my book, Evolve, The Path to Trauma-Informed Leadership. And I thought, well, let's do this podcast and we'll talk about some of the key elements of what I thought was important with regards to trauma-informed leadership.

At that time, I didn't know of anyone else. Well, one person, and her work was incredible. A big shout out to Dawn Emmerich for really giving me the excitement, the inspiration to dig into this work. She's been out there doing it for a while.

So when I started the podcast, I didn't really know if people wanted to hear about trauma-informed leadership. So I didn't put trauma in the title, but I did make it clear that we need to find a new way of working. And so every guest that I had on the show related to my premise in trauma-informed leadership, that self-awareness, self-regulation, and co-regulation were three important elements that we as leaders really needed to explore a bit more deeply. And so all of my guests helped us deepen our insight into those areas and obviously some other areas.

So as I sit here today and share this final episode with you, it's really clear to me that it's time for me to evolve. Just like I shared with you in the book and in the podcast, we are all on this journey. And so it's a really interesting time for me. I've had some folks reach out to me recently in the past two months telling me that my work, my podcast, the book, has inspired them in their academic pursuits in leadership.

That trauma-informed leadership is something that they wanted to study more about. And it's really showing me that there is desire, there's interest out there to understand how trauma affects us as leaders and how we can create workplaces that truly, truly tap into the potential of people and not necessarily repeat old patterns that aren't necessarily serving us. So I'm taking a step back in my business and I am deciding how to focus myself in this area of trauma-informed leadership.

It's really at the heart of how we build resilient and purpose-driven organizations. So I'm going to create space to dig a little bit deeper. I want to dig more into the research, continue my own work, and really niche myself in this area. I'm on the cusp of completing a year-long training in trauma-informed coaching and consulting.

It's been a really powerful program for me under the guidance of Thomas Hubel and Amy Elizabeth Fox. I've been part of this global community, close to 200 people who are very, very committed to trauma consulting and coaching I believe there a big shift happening in leadership right now People are really starting to not just believe but see firsthand that it not enough to lead with strategy alone. You know, the emotional, psychological, and social impacts of the emotional wounds we carry, both personal and collectively, are shaping how we lead and how we experience the workplace.

And for many of us, our work is more than just a job. It's how we find purpose. And yet we are faced with a continuous leadership challenge. How do we bring ourselves to work and really inspire and lead others to do that when we are feeling quite often burned out, unmotivated, and sometimes just kind of lost.

There's a lot of things happening in our lives that makes it hard to lead well at work. So it has become clear to me that my next step is to really fully immerse myself in trauma-informed leadership in this work by researching it further, speaking, and partnering with others who are as committed as I am to understanding the depth of trauma, and emotional wounds into our leadership. It's really, I believe, a way that we can show up with more empathy, resilience, and compassion in every aspect of our lives, not only at work.

So like I said, I'm going to be taking a break from this podcast to focus all of my energy on figuring out what this new direction is going to look like for me. So it's not the end. It's really just a pivot. And yes, cue that fun moment in Friends as Ross was trying to bring the couch up the stairs.

You know, this podcast has been such a wonderful space for exploration and connection. And I really do plan on returning with an even stronger focus on what really matters, how we as leaders can transform our workplaces and ourselves by understanding the impact of trauma. So why am I taking this time now? Why not continue to have 50 other episodes?

Because there are so many great people out there doing wonderful, wonderful work. I believe we're standing right now at a very, very pivotal moment. Organizations and leaders are being called to operate in more ways that are really, I'm going to say more human. We need connection.

We have an epidemic of loneliness. We have an epidemic of burnout in our workplaces. And we are trying to run so fast, we cannot keep up anymore. Trauma-informed leadership is really not the niche area that I thought it might be.

I didn't think people would want to listen to this. I actually didn't know. Maybe I should rephrase that. I thought deep down with my own experience of understanding what it meant and how much it had impacted me, I thought, well, maybe some people might want to hear about it.

But what I've learned is so many of you are very, very curious to learn more. I have to say I was particularly touched and really taken by surprise when someone reached out to me several weeks ago. you'll know who you are. I don't have your permission to name your name on the podcast, but I'm very grateful for this person who reached out and told me that she had completed her master's in Master of Arts in Leadership from a Canadian university and that she had done it in trauma informed leadership and that my book was the focus of her thesis.

She shared with me afterwards that her perspective on leadership and how she could be a better leader had been transformed by the work that I brought into the world. And of course, the work that I brought into the world was based on the research and perspective of many amazing people So this is what I want to do I want to take this pause and find more ways to do some research to speak more to continue to build out a community that is very very dedicated to healing. I never thought I was going to say that word when it came to leadership, but I can honestly tell you that through the work over the past two years, my own personal work and the work that I've done with leaders.

I think healing is a very appropriate word. Now, before I step away, I just want to leave you with a few questions that have really been guiding my own reflections. And I hope they offer you some insight as you continue your own leadership journey. My first question is for you to really reflect on how your own emotional wounds show up in your leadership.

That's a term, emotional wounds, that I have started to use instead of using the word trauma. And it comes from the research or the work of Gabor Maté. He wrote a book called The Myth of Normal. And one of the ways that he described trauma, and I say one of the ways, is an emotional wound.

I used to think that work was a place for me to escape my past, for me to leave things behind to sweep past hurts under the carpet. And if you haven't already figured this out, you can't do that. Your past is always, always going to follow you and they truly shape how we lead. And you can run from them for a while, but ultimately it will catch up to you.

And so I think part of the work in trauma-informed leadership is to really understand more deeply what this T word means and what it doesn't mean. So that's why I've chosen to, at times, use the word emotional wounds. I find it a little bit more relatable and we've all had them. The thing with these emotional wounds and with trauma is there is not a scale.

There's not a scale that points to what is and what isn't a trauma. There's so many factors that go into our life and how we develop. And so getting clear and real with yourself is a big piece of this leadership. It's going to impact how you make decisions, how you communicate with others, and it's going to impact your relationships, not only with your family and friends, but your relationships at work.

It's going to impact how you lean into conflict, how you lean into different perspectives, your ability to take in that information and work with it. Our workplaces are much more complex. There's more uncertainty. And those two things are challenging to work with when you haven't truly understood what drives you and actually maybe not drives you, what has influenced you and impacted your own adult development.

What does it mean to create trauma-informed spaces in your workplace? This is the second area or thing that I'd like to leave you with. We have the responsibility as leaders to create environments where people feel safe enough. I'm not going to say fully safe because that's a term that is going to be very different for people.

And yes, there is the notion of psychological safety. There's also the perspective of physiological safety. This is where your nervous system tells your body what feels safe and what doesn't. So psychological safety and physiological safety are two elements that I'd like you to think about as you continue to work with the people in your organizations to achieve your organization's vision, and purpose.

What steps can you take to make your team a place where people can grow, thrive and yes where they can heal And my last question for you to reflect on and think about is how understanding trauma and emotional wounding can deepen your sense of purpose Work is where so many of us find meaning and connection You might be working on a new product that is going to revolutionize how something is done. Maybe you work in a service industry. Maybe you're at a nonprofit. Whatever it is that you're doing, whatever organization it is that you're working for, there's an opportunity to find meaning in what you do.

When we just go to work and do tasks without meaning, it is not very fulfilling. And that does not make for an inspiring life. And it does not make for a lot of happiness. How may you more deeply understand your sense of purpose by understanding how trauma has impacted or shown up in your life.

If you're anything like me, you might've run from this word for many, many decades, maybe thinking that it didn't really apply to you. That's where I was. And what I've come to truly understand is I was running from myself. I was running from things that I'd forgotten about.

and frankly, I'd been running because I'd had so many incredible adaptive behaviors protect me until I lost sense of purpose. So I hope that our time together or over the past two years or maybe two weeks, I don't know how long you've been listening, but I hope that it has enriched your perspective. I know it has enriched mine. I am just so grateful to all of the guests who have come on the show and have been part of this journey with me.

The perspective, the insights, the inspiration has just been so fulfilling for me. Those episodes are gonna stay up. I hope that if you haven't listened to much of my work, I hope that you can go back and check out those different episodes and all of the great work that people globally are doing to help us as leaders become more self-aware, to find more ways to regulate and calm and create resilient nervous systems. And also there is in every single episode, some really inspirational music suggestions.

So one of the questions I always asked my guests was to share a song or genre of music. I don't think that I had in the 90 episodes or 89 episodes, I don't think I had a repeat song or genre of music that people shared. So there's a wonderful playlist in there too. Maybe one day I'll put that up into Spotify.

It's clear to me that this work of trauma-informed leadership is really starting to resonate deeply. And that gives me just so much more motivation to step into this new chapter, whatever it looks like, with more focus and more intention. I really, really do believe that trauma-informed leadership is a big part of the future in our workplaces. It's really about taking us to a new level.

It's about leading with empathy, vulnerability, and truly a commitment to understanding ourselves as whole people, a whole person, not just looking at the output of the work that we do. So this is not a goodbye. It really is just the beginning of something deeper. And when I come back, it will be with new insights, new strategies, and a truly renewed sense of purpose.

So together, we're going to explore what it means to truly lead in this new era. Until we meet again, please take care. You can always reach out to me at carolyn at carolynsuara.com.

And again, it is with much gratitude to the guests and to all of you listeners for tuning in with me each week on Evolve. Take care.