IM40: When Life Falls Apart: Surviving a Category 5 Hurricane, Learning to Ask for Help & Finding Yourself Again | Embracing Only

Speaker A: Um, all right. So, folks, hello, everybody, and welcome Back to edition 2026, the Embracing only podcast. Olivia and I have been on a little bit of a hiatus. We're going to tackle a lot of that. We're so excited to come back into this community, record our first episode of the year, actually, and, um, share with you a little bit about where we've been on what that journey has looked like so far and how. How we hope to evolve and take Embracing only into the future. So with that, hello, everybody, and hello, Olivia.

Speaker B: Hey, Archita. Hey, everyone. It's so good to be back.

Speaker A: We're so excited. So we paused. We paused not just because one day we woke up and we were like, we're done. Which is also great reason to pause. Uh, we didn't pause because we're just like, oh, we have run out of ideas to talk about because you can imagine, between the two of us, we have plenty of ideas to talk about and constantly conversations to have. We paused because there was a pretty significant catastrophic event that dear Ms. Olivia, was right in the epicenter.

Speaker B: Ah.

Speaker A: Of literally, physically, spiritually, emotionally, and everything associated with that. So, Olivia, like, I'll turn the mic to you and kind of share, like, what felt like the most natural pause in the midst of all of the chaos you were navigating.

Speaker B: Well, it's interesting that you use the word natural, because I think the two of us left to ourselves, especially Olivia, pre Hurricane Melissa, um, you would have had to completely take me out to get me to pause. Like, I just wouldn't have. You know, I wouldn't have done it organically. But I think after this hurricane, you guys, like, even if I didn't want to pause, there was literally no possible way to continue. My house was in shambles. Every stitch of anything I had owned, um, went out to sea. And when I say every stitch of everything I owned, there were no countertops, there were no cabinets. There were. There was nothing in the bathrooms. There wasn't a single pair of underwear left in the. Like, everything had gone to sea. So, um, it was literally impossible for me to continue, you guys. So I'm on the road to recovery from a building kind of life, back up the infrastructure of. Of life. But I think mentally and emotionally, I'm in a much better place now. And I think the pause wouldn't be so difficult now. Now I pause when I need to.

Speaker A: You're learning to pause. Let's just not get. We're learning to pause still. It's just six months since, you know. So in October Was this October or September? Now remind me.

Speaker B: October.

Speaker A: October, right.

Speaker B: Um.

Speaker A: So October, if you all are not familiar and if you've not been following us on socials or just, like, you know, watching the news, either, I guess there was a significant Category 5 hurricane that came through Jamaica. And I remember, like, on the phone messaging, olivia, are you okay? Are you going to be okay? And, you know, Olivia is like, yeah, we'll be fine. You know, it's not coming our way. It's going to go this. We've got everything we need. Like, we did not. We don't have wooden houses down here, right? We have cement block houses made of cement blocks. We're doing what we need to do. Messaging, messaging. And then it's like the day before. And then I'm just like, there's no messages coming back. I'm messaging every friend of hers that I know on LinkedIn. And I'm like, have you heard from Olivia? Have you heard from Olivia? And they're like, we don't know yet. We don't know. And then I think it was day five or day three. I can't even remember now. Olivia, where Jacqueline was like, achita. I heard from her. Um, she's okay. Her aunt found her is what she said. And I was like, oh, my gosh, we can breathe again. Because I can't even imagine the ordeal you've kind of gone through. And I message you, and you send me. You are delirious. This was day three. Still, like, day three. And you just send me pictures. It was a deluge of pictures. And it was just unbelievable to see an unfathomable. To, like, look at what that devastation was, you know, across the board. And I remember this distinctly. You sent this, and I just love that your friend, I'm forgetting her name right now, who set up the GoFundMe immediately, did not ask you for permission. She's like, hey, there's no reason we need to get this done. And I think a lot of you all in the community rallied. So I really want to say thank you as well, because all of you all just rallied right in because you had reached out to me on DMs, you reached out to Olivia on DMs, and you're, like, rallied to kind of help fill in in whatever way we can, knowing all of us are so far away. But I remember two days after that first deluge of messages you send me, which I don't think you remember, you sent me a message back, and you're like, girl, I'm okay. I'M with my aunt, and here's another set of pictures. And I was like, oh, my gosh. My dear friend needs has a lot of healing and recovery. And this is not just a random here. I mean, nothing is random. But, uh, just thinking about all the tornadoes, quote unquote, tornadoes and hurricanes you have navigated in your life that you pushed past, this was one that I think finally made you say no, truly, full stop. Like, truly full stop.

Speaker B: Yeah. Uh, you know, I don't even know where to start in the story, so let me a couple of things. You guys bear with me as I gather my thoughts here. One, I think, um, I have to publicly say thank you to my friend Tiffany, because I think she realized what had just happened when, honestly, I was still in shock. Like, I think my nervous system had completely shut down. And I was just like, oh, my God. You know, the level of destruction, you guys, I. I can't even describe it. If you can imagine going to the store and then coming back, and your house is just nothing but your bare walls and foundation. Everything else is gone. Like, everything else is gone, right? Like, no cabinets, no. No, um, appliances, none of your personal effects. Like, you're not even finding, um, splinters of furniture, right? Like, everything is just gone. And the only thing that remains is sand and some standing water. That's what. That's what we ran into. And so when life takes that dramatic of a turn and it strips you from everything that you think you are and everything that's valuable to you, and you're left with nothing but your nakedness, it's a level of trauma that's really difficult to describe. And so I want to thank my friend Tiffany and all of you that rallied to help, because I think in that moment, um, my natural personality would not have been to ask for, right? I'd have been like, all right, let me. Let me cry it out. Let me get my mind right. Let me come up with a plan. Let me figure it out. But because of, um, the construct of Olivia, who she was pre storm, I would have never wanted to be a burden on any. Like, I would not have asked for help. So for all of you that, um, helped in any way, whether it was messages, whether it was gofundme, whether it was anything, I just want to say thank you from the bottom of my heart because. Because I so desperately needed the help, and the fact that I didn't have to heal so fast to ask for it, the help just came is truly, truly a blessing. And, you know, Archita, I want to Say thank you publicly to you as well. Because I think in the moment I was still trying to push, right? Because pushing is my default setting. And I was like, I gotta do this, I gotta do this, I gotta do this. And you were like, um, ma', am, are you talking to a therapist? Because you're not. Okay. And I was like, therapist? I don't have time for a therapist. Right? Like, I've got stuff to do. More stuff now than ever. And I think it was your push to be like, you actually don't have anything to do. Everything is gone. It's not coming back. Right. Overnight. Um, I need you to sit with it and deal with what's happening inside of your mind and body. And you guys, if you have friends like my dear Archita here, that will force you to sit and deal with your emotional being love on them. Because in that moment, I so needed it. So let me, let me just start, um, there with gratitude. This was not, um, any normal storm, you guys. So it was a Cat five. Yes. But it was the top three most powerful hurricanes ever. Like, it was worse than Katrina. Um, so much so that I think, is it NOAA or whatever the weather gurus are, are considering adding a Category 6 now because of how powerful this storm was. We're talking about, um, 182 mile per hour winds sustained with 200 and something mile per hour wind gusts. Um, what hit us was a 18 foot storm surge. So that means the Ocean came up 18ft. And then on top of that you have the wind and waves kicking up even beyond, uh, that. So it was a massive storm. And not only was it massive, it was so slow moving that the storm itself lasted for about six hours. So it was just like six straight hours of really hell on earth. And, um, I describe it these days as a culling. I think it came to clear away things, um, that no longer served us. And at least for me personally, it forced this evolution, um, that I now can say that I'm very grateful for. Hi, everyone, my name is Olivia Cream. If you are a corporate girly and you are struggling, you're feeling stuck, maybe you're feeling underpaid, overqualified, you're struggling with your boss, or bigger yet, you're even trying to clearly articulate what it is that you want from your corporate career, I am the coach for you. So if you're ambitious and you've got goals to accomplish and you want to accomplish them quickly, check out my website, Olivia M. Cream dot com. I would love to help you reach your Goals.

Speaker A: Hi, everybody. I'm Archita Fritz, your other host of the Embracing Only podcast. If you're ready to leave corporate or you've changed a couple of corporate jobs and want to start a profitable side brilliance, you've made the decision, but you feel unsure of the next steps, here's how I can help you. I can guide you through a successful transition to entrepreneurship to help turn those ideas into profit. So reach out to me on LinkedIn or visit me on architafritz.com to accelerate your empowered transitions. Now, back to the episode. Yeah, gosh, there's so much over there. There's so much over there. Um, I'm going to go back a couple of steps here. So, you know, you mentioned that this conversation about the therapist, right? And I want to kind of really double click on that a little bit for everyone listening. So through many of these, quote unquote, like, you know, hurricanes in our lives, in your case, it was something that's gonna. That's left like a physical imprint and thumbprint on, you know, beyond just, like, emotional and all of that. But a lot of times, I mean, the immediate thing you wanted to do. Like, I remember we were on, like, our second call, like, after we had had those first initial calls, just chatting and checking in, and you're like, oh, yeah, I need, um, you're retired. Like, hold on, let's remember that, right? Like, why did you move to Jamaica? You're retired. You had found your way out of corporate. You'd bought this beautiful place that you had built a home from the ground up. It was your, your life's calling to do go on to its next chapter, right? Like, retired from the corporate world. Going to build something that's Olivia's own in this beautiful, beautiful space. And the first time you get, like, we're chatting here again, and you're like, oh, I think I just need to find. I just need to find clients. And I'm like, what the hell? Why would you want to go and serve someone else when you've forgotten to completely even, like, take a minute to serve yourself? And I remember, like, I didn't push hard the first time, but there was something in me that was like, no. Instead of just asking someone, have you seen a therapist? Let me just go find a bunch of therapists. So I remember. M going to like and thank you, Farah Harris, who was on this, uh, podcast. Just the folks who kind of opened up their Rolodexes to be like, hey, check out this therapist in Florida. This therapist, that therapist. Because ultimately, you Found the right one. It was not one of them, but you found the right one. But I feel like, you know, a lot of times when people are going through it, when we offer help, don't just offer the idea of help. Right. That's what Tiffany did. She didn't say, should I set up a GoFundMe? She went and set it up because you would not know to ask for it because you can't make those decisions. You can't calculate those decisions in that moment. Um, go find them solutions where then they can start working towards that thing they need to do versus putting the burden of solving for it squarely on them. Right. So something to just consider, because I know a lot of us are just dealing with family members passing away, just other kinds of, like, you know, crazy things happening in this world. And folks struggle to. All of us. All of us struggle to ask for help. We just really, really struggle to ask for help.

Speaker B: Yeah. Yeah, we do. And I think, you know, these days, um, and through the work that I have done and that I'm continuing to do in, you know, in therapy and, um, really starting to break down. Well, why am I so resistant to help? Like, why. Why won't I ask for help? Why won't I recognize, Like, I recognize it to myself, like, man, I probably need a little help here. But then I quickly p past it, and I'm like, no one's coming to save you. Figure it out. I think here is, you know, if I could lead, leave anyone listening right now with this little tidbit is you really need to question your own narratives, right? So when you have this thing that you do, and we know that we do it right, ask yourself why? Like, why won't I ask for help? Why won't? And what I find, you know, doing this work is a lot of us don't feel safe. We don't ask why. We. We don't, um, let people in. We don't ask for help. We don't, um, do some of these other things that are in our highest interest or in our best interest because we don't feel safe. And I know that was the case for me. For me, it was like, people. People aren't safe. I've been hurt too many times. If I show vulnerability and I let people in, they're just going to hurt me in the end. I' safe. So therefore, I resist the upstream behavior that would, um, potentially lead to hurt for me. So question your narratives, ladies, because I think we miss out on so much in life. We miss out with Community. We. We block the people that want to show up for us in spectacular ways, all because we don't feel safe. And there's so much beauty in this world if we would just allow it to happen.

Speaker A: Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. So I. And you know, we say this, we say this, we go through these situations, we evolve through these situations. We accept the help, we take the help. Right? And it took you time to even take the help. Even when, you know, I mean, even your aunt coming in, like, literally physically, you hearing her voice, right? I mean, I'm just kind. And I know. I only know all of these images because you shared them with me and it's like seared in my brain right now. But, like, you're physically in this attic, holding on to, like, your pets and Dan on you and your, um, and saving you from these. What was these? How high were these waves, Olivia?

Speaker B: Oh, my God. They were like 22 foot waves. We were on the second story of this beautiful, um, villa, brand new villa that was, you know, constructed by like this. This architectural firm. The guy that owns it, George, is an absolutely amazing human, um, being. I mean, this thing was built like a fortress, which is why we left our house and went down the beach to his house. Um, and the house saved us. It really. It really did. But the waves were crashing and you know what, Let me tell people the story because I think it's. It's going to be important for. For the context. So, um, as our cheetah mentioned, we, Dan and I are Coast Guard veterans. We were watching the story Storm. You know, I was commanding control in. In the Coast Guard when Katrina hit, um, the Gulf Coast. So I've kind of lived and worked through these environmental disasters. And this one, this one was so much. This one was so much different. So the night before the storm, we realized, oh, crap. Melissa had changed course and she was coming back and she was like. The eye was to pass directly over where we were were. But by this time, you know, the weather had deteriorated enough where the. We weren't getting out, right? So we were stuck. We had made a decision. It was time to ride it out. So we called, um, our neighbor George and said, hey, like, can we stay with you? Because now they were reporting that the storm surge, right, like, how high the sea was going to rise was going to be 15 to 18ft. And we were like, f. We were not going to survive that in our house. So we went, we packed up the cats and two beach dogs. And of course, my husband and I are a little bit of preppers. So, like, we had like a solar radio. We moved our generator to the roof with a bunch of cans of gas, trying to, you know, we put it in between the two peaks of the roof, hoping that would be enough to save it. Um, we brought like, anything you can think of that you might be able to survive with. Filled up some really big water jugs. Um, and we took ourselves, you know, four or five houses down the beach. So we get there, we unpack, and the neighbor was like, you guys are exaggerating. Like, it's gonna be fine. It's not gonna be this bad. I was like, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. So I, I unload all the stuff up and, um, you know, at least had the presence of mind to unload all the stuff, stuff on the second floor, thinking that that would have been enough because at that the second floor is probably a good 20 to 30ft above sea level at least. So I was like, all right, we've got, you know, I'm running the math. I'm like, we've got some buffer space, girl. Let me just tell you. So the morning the storm hits and things start to deteriorate and we can see, you know, my husband and I were out on the back patio and, and George has this beautiful, like, infinity pool and these like, I don't know, £200 cement pavers that are, you know, like, lining the pool. It's like the perfect little oasis there. So we're out back and we're watching the storm come in, and we start to see these giant waves breaking out in the distance, uh, out on the reef. And my husband and I are looking at each other like, like, oh, like it's about to get real because those waves out there are at least 20ft. Like, at least as we're watching. So we're like, all right, it's about to get real. So the storm comes on in and, um, there's some video of like, the waves just like building and building, and all of a sudden they're crashing over the seawall. Now it's flooding the pool, right? So the backyard's kind of underwater and we're like, okay. So we, we're all inside, um, kind of huddled. The cats are in their carriers, the dogs are all leashed up because we don't know this thing is going to get. And, um, then, then the destruction starts to happen. So the waves come in, the first wave crashes against their back. Sliding glass doors. So the back of the house, um, had these big, beautiful, hurricane rated, you know, basically bulletproof, um, Sliding glass doors with like a middle sacrificial pain in case, you know, debris came into it. Like, should have been super solid, right? Nope. Like the first wave hits it and we're like, oh boy. And then the second wave hits it. Archita. Uh, those sliding glass doors folded like tortilla shells. I tell you, they folded in like tortilla shells. So now the water's coming in. And God bless my husband, he has the presence of mind to open the front door. So the water flows through instead of banging up against the house, you know. So we open the front door, he opens the front door, we run upstairs. So upstairs we took shelter in what would have been like a very large walk in closet. So someplace you would have gone if a tornado is hitting. Right. So no windows, no doors, like in the interior of the house. It's me, the neighbor, Dan, the two cats, two dogs and like our stuff, right? We're in there for about an hour and then the roof comes off, like clean off. Archita. And we're now, mind you, it's 182 mile per hour winds. Like the, the rain is hitting us. It is straight chaos. So we're like gathering ourselves. And the only other place to go at this point is this little crawl space in the attic. It was about 7ft long by 4ft wide. There was no door to this little space because the house was still, you know, the finishing touches were still being put on it. And it was the kind of space where it's like the concrete of the house met the wooden frame of the roof. And you were kind of sitting, um, with the concrete on this side and then on this side it was just roof material. Right. So we run into there, or we're making our way across the house into this last sanctuary, I will say. And the waves are now crashing onto the second story of this house. So again, we're crossing what would have been their master bedroom. And the waves are crashing in and it takes out that sliding glass door. Like so you can imagine how high the sea has come up. The waves are pushing into the, into the house that slider goes. And now we're like human chain because we're fighting the wind to just walk across the house right into this little space. This is where things get real. Okay. So the, the bottom floor completely flooded. The little floor out to their, about the little door out to their balcony is busted in like sea water. And rain is flowing down the stairs like rapids. There is nowhere else to go. So we're on this little platform and I'm. I'm running the math, right? Okay. Bottom floor is flooded. Like, other part of the house. The roof is off. There's nowhere for us to go. And I start to look around and I could see the frame of the roof separating from the house. And I'm like, there's no. We're going to get either sucked out of this roof or this platform is going to go and we're all going to end up in the water. And like, this is it. Like, this is it. Archita. There's no, there's nowhere else to go. I physically cannot calculate a way out of this predicament. So at this point, you know, Dan says he was watching me like I was holding on to two by fours, which means my brain has short circuited, right? Like, obviously I'm gonna hold on to some two by fours and like, save us. I've short circuited. So, um, I look at Dan and he's got like this waterproof backpack on. And I say to him, um, let the cats out of their carriers, because if we end up in the water, I want them to have a chance to survive. They're gonna drown in the carriers. Like, let him out. So I, I had given up, you guys. I was like, this is it. Like, this is it. Dan is like, absolutely, absolutely not. We're going to live. You know, he puts his body over mine. He's holding the puppies, I'm holding the cats, and we're just like, hunker down on this platform, dude. The roof starts to come off. So my, my worst case scenario is now starting to happen. We're starting to see daylight. The. The panels are coming off the roof and there's nowher. All we can do is sit there and the neighbor looks at us and he says, all we can do is pray. Now, Cheetah. I prayed harder than I have ever prayed in my entire life. At that point, there was no control. There was no calculating. There was no, let me figure a way out of this. Let me save myself. It was not possible to save myself or anyone else at this point. And we prayed. And, and when I tell you after we prayed, I can't explain to you guys this, the, the sensation, but it's almost like God heard us and he took a cup and he, like, put it over us and was like, you idiots. Like, why don't you listen? But it. There was this sense of peace in the middle of the chaos. Like everything is still coming apart around us. But I felt like for. For a split second I could hear and like, it was almost calm. Like, there was the sensation that we weren't alone and that we were going to be okay. All logic is saying something different, but there was this feeling like we were going to be okay. And shortly after that, the wind died down just enough for us to be able to stand up and move deeper into the roof. Okay. Um, and then now we're walking on, like, the ceiling tiles, you guys, like, the little metal strips. Um, so if you step on a ceiling tile, you know, you're going through and straight to the. To the second floor. But we. We move forward and we kind of hang out in this, like. Like in the roof, um, in this tiny area in the front of the house. And we waited the next. I don't know, maybe two hours until it was safe enough to crawl down from there and. Yo. So the storm itself. The storm itself was terrifying. And then, you know, the trauma kind of continues because now everything that you packed is gone. The sea has taken everything, you know, so now you're trying to figure out, how do I get food, how do I get water, how do I, um. How do I live until someone can find me? And so, uh, you know, the story continues. Maybe this is part. Part two of the story. But I. I tell you guys that to say there are so many of us, especially myself, that feel like we walk life alone and that I used to say things like, no one is coming to save you. You better figure it out for yourself. And the reality is, we're. We're not walking alone. We're not, you know, um, but there has to. Unfortunately for me, it took a Cat 5 hurricane to the face to make me realize that we are not walking alone. And the health is there, whether spiritually or physically, within your community. Um, but it took that storm to strip me of everything I had armored myself with over the course of my life to. To realize we're not alone. And, you know, I hope those of you listening, um, take a moment to really think about your life and realize that you're not alone. You're not alone either.

Speaker A: Gosh, like, that was like, I hope. I mean, you know, the way you bringing me, like, you know, the visualization, you know, it's just. It is exactly what that experience was, absolutely and utterly, like, devastating and dramatic in all sense and forms. And then that moment where you said you felt peace in the middle of the chaos, like, literally gave me, like, goosebumps, because those moments are rare, you know, and there are some, you know, not a Category 5 hurricane in any way, shape or form, but other things that have happened wherein I've leaned on prayer or I've leaned on, you know, something outside of, like, myself in order to navigate, and you find those moments of peace. And I think the takeaway here too is how do we not wait for catastrophic events to give us a chance to recognize that if we say out loud, I need help, right? Or I need to figure out how to ask for help, whatever that kind of energy is, it does not showcase weakness. It is not, uh, showcasing that, you know, you do not know how to figure this out by yourself. Right. Um, but it showcases how the community can actually come together to help you. Whether it's, you know, you said spiritually or people like themselves, etc. But we struggle to kind of get to that point. And there's this, like, amazing book I'm reading, and I don't know why it never came into my life before. Um, but it's by Dr. Gabor Mate. And I hope I'm saying his name right. You've probably seen him as this curly head old man. He's like on a bunch of Instagram reels, talks really quietly. But the book is, you know, when the body says no, the Cost of Hidden Stress. And I highly recommend everyone to really pick that book up because a lot of our inability as overachieving individuals, as individuals who have performed at the highest level in many different spaces and places, is this, like, fallacy of, like, fallacy, whatever. Fallacy of like, forced strength is where we believe that, you know, we have to be strong enough. And it's those folks, that's us, me included, who have a real feeling about, like, ah, uh, if I ask for help, like, am I admitting weakness? Am I admitting that I can't figure this out by myself? Like, oh, my mom figured this out. Like someone else somewhere else figured this out. And I bet there'll be a moment somewhere in the future where we, like, hold on. Olivia figured this out through a Category 5 hurricane. I should be able to figure it out through my quote unquote hurricane. And I think we need to all, like, embrace the fact that this is just this fallacy of forced strength. And this will indirectly affect us in so many different ways. And this is what drives chronic illness. This is why this is because it's a defense from our body. It's our body creating a defense to be like, I don't know how else to stop you. I don't know how else to, like, tell you to say no. So this is my way. I'm going to shut down all these systems create these situations and conditions to happen. And then it becomes hard for us because then we are like, what the heck? This sucks. Like, I can't believe I have this chronic illness. I have. Why the hell did this person get cancer? Why the hell did that person get this? But it's all a culmination of this inability for us to constantly say no. And so, please, I request you, if you're on any kind of journey of healing, in whatever that might be, whatever that healing is, pick up this book and start practicing saying, no, I'm going to ask for help. No, I'm going to stop. I don't need to go find work right now. I'm going to take the help that doesn't need me to work right now to focus on what I need to do.

Speaker B: Yeah, amen to that, Archita. And I would say, you know, you guys stay tuned, because something is obviously coming, um, for me personally, and I think, you know, as we're talking about this healing and what it, what it does to us, I have labeled myself the unraveling overachiever. And so if that resonates with you, when I say unraveling, it's all the things Archida talks about, right? Like, it's your brain racing at night. It's fibroids, it's endometriosis, it's, you know, having a hysterectomy very young because I stored all my trauma in, in my womb and no medicine, no nothing, like none of the normal treatments would work on me because that's where I put everything. You know, it's. It's headaches, it's the sleepless night. Like, you guys, if you don't sleep well, there is no such thing as, like, a bad sleeper. That's not a thing. It's because you're unhealthy. It's because you're dysregulated. It's because you're operating in a way that's misaligned from your higher self. And that's what we need to figure out. Who are we? And who told us that weakness was bad? You guys, who told you that? Right? So I think there more to come here. We're all on this healing journey and what I wish for us to achieve this point is that we all heal in a way, um, that returns us to ourself without taking, you know, a Melissa to the face. Like, I don't want that for you guys. So I would say, as we're coming up on, on time here, stay tuned. Clearly, we're not going to bring you all these stories without any solutions, um, here. But I hope everyone, after listening to this, starts to question their own behaviors and maybe start to look into the mirror about how our choices, um, are actually really working against us and get to the point where we're ready to do something different. Yes.

Speaker A: And I cannot. I cannot re. Emphasize in bold what Olivia just shared. Sit down with a piece of paper and write down how many times today. Forget, like, yesterday, forget the freaking week. How many times today you have said no. And I don't mean no to your kids because that feels like the easiest damn, um, thing to say. No, no. No tv. Nope. Nope. But no to things that, you know, we wouldn't. I was literally walking up the stairs to do this podcast earlier, and I was just thinking about this. Olivia and one of our neighbors had a baby six months ago. I haven't seen the baby yet. Okay, but. Because, uh, we've just not had. I mean, I've seen the baby while we were pushing. The mom was pushing the baby in the pram or whatever, but I haven't seen the baby outside of that. And we meant to have them over. The day before we were leaving for spring break to the U.S. my dad was coming over, and that's like a whole other thing. Uh, just managing like my dad in this, you know, the current stage that he is. And, um, that was the only day she was available. So she's like, hey, Achita, you know, we can come today. And first I said yes, because I was like, I'll figure it out. You know, like, what the hell? I'll figure it out. But I noticed when my dad came home, like, he's older. He needs four days to recover from jet lag. I was in the middle of, you know, work madness, just getting three humans ready to get out of the house to get to another country. And I was like, man, I need to choose peace. I just cannot. I just cannot prep the house, set up an afternoon tea six hours before we have to get on a freaking plane to go to the US So I messaged her, and I was like, hey, listen, it's not going to work out. Can we just do it once you're back? But I was walking up the stairs, and I let it go, right? And she's like, yes, of course. No big deal, blah, blah, blah. But I was walking up the stairs, and I was like, man, like, sometimes when you say no, like, when you start not exercising, saying no, your body is not comfortable with that feeling. So I'm sitting And feeling now this is like two months later because we said we're going to meet up like in early June, right? And I'm like. And I saw the. What is that called? What is the. I was thinking of the German word kinderwagen. The stroller. The stroller. And I was like, oh my God, how shameful of me. Literally what I said to myself, right? Like, I can't believe I said no. And I was like asking myself this question, why am I. I'm struggling with this silly little afternoon tea. This is not even a close friend or anything. And I said no. And so I also want to let you like give your, give yourself permission to know that when you're navigating these no's, it's not going to feel very comfortable. You're going to feel the stress of saying no's. And that is beautiful in itself. Like lean into that stress. Lean into like that uncomfortable, comfortable feeling and start like, you know, marking your 1:1 ones that you can cross to be like, I truly claimed my space today by saying no to something.

Speaker B: Yeah, I said no. And it didn't kill me. It didn't feel good. But that's because your brain forms these habit loops, right? Like we don't have enough time to talk about how our brain betrays us because it uh. The brain is hardwired for safety. And we. What I've learned at this point is when we have these visceral reactions to saying no is because that no. And the way you showed up to protect yourself in that moment, Archita, violated some narrative that you had told yourself about who you are, who and what you are, right? So your brain has this mission, Archita, we are this. And it sets off to, you know, keep you safe by fulfilling the mission that you gave it. And now you're choosing different. And your brain's like, what? Um, no. Hello. You're violating, like can we get back to this? And it's going to make you feel uncomfortable. The feelings are okay. Like don't let your feelings, um, the after feelings, right? You know, in the moment that no is the right thing to say. But it's the, it's the post decision feelings. Don't let them overwhelm you. Like feel the feelings and move through them. M. It's going to be just fine.

Speaker A: Exactly. I think it's like it doesn't kill you, you know, so it doesn't kill you. Move past it. Move past it. But we have so much to unpack. Like we're going to have like a new and improved. Like, ah, different. I should not say improved. New and evolved. New and evolved direction with embracing only, um, way beyond the workplace. Right. That was our original focus. How do we help women in the workplace thrive? And you know, as Olivia and I have and evolved on our journeys out of the quote unquote, traditional workplaces, we've given ourselves permission to embrace the fact that our onlyness has so many other places and spaces to shine in. And how do we start thriving across all of those spaces beyond just the traditional workspace? So that's going to be our new direction. We're really excited to bring more interesting conversations, probably be more of Olivia and me here because we have so much to unpack and talk through over the next few episodes. But then we'll bring in some more guests, etcetera, as we go on this journey together with you, um, and have some very exciting things. I can't wait for Olivia to share in the coming months. So thank you for joining us on this journey and thank you for tuning in and we look forward to being your year here soon.

Speaker B: I love it. Take care of yourself and each other, you guys. Until next time.