The Secret to Building a Workplace Where People Say “Thank God It’s Monday” with Missy Forlani & Melisa Soydinc, M. S.

Speaker A: The future of teamwork is a leader production. Subscribe today and never miss an episode.

Speaker B: In the world of acceleration and the unknown, um, people just feel unsettled, right, with AI, Is it going to take my job if I, you know, am I not efficient enough? Like, how does that impact me? And so as organizations are grappling with that, it's bringing folks on the change journey and making sure folks really are included in sort of what are we doing? Why are we doing it, what's in it for me? And then what's next?

Speaker C: Welcome to the Future of Teamwork podcast. My name is Dane Grunebald, and today I'm joined by Missy Fulani and Melissa Soydink. Uh, Missy and Melissa, uh, are just launching a really cool book called thank God it's Monday. Um, and I'm really excited to dive into what's behind, uh, this moment, um, and what they're casting, uh, light on as we think about our teams and our workplaces, uh, in this very interesting age that we're living in. Um, so welcome, uh, to the show, Missy and, uh, Elisa and, uh, I'd love to hear a little bit more about what brought you two together to be, uh, in this moment, bringing the book out and, uh, doing all this cool work.

Speaker B: Awesome. Well, Dane, thank you so much for having us. We're super excited to be here and I'm going to super fan of you and your podcast and all your work around teams and effective teams and leadership. So it's really an honor, um, but kind of to give you the short version. I've spent 17 years in senior HR roles and, you know, this book has been in my head for about 20 years. Had the opportunity, um, in my last two roles as chief People Officer to work with Melissa, and we had a passion for the way we think about creating cultures and environments where people are excited to come to work. Kind of get to say I get to do this versus I have to do this. So thank God it's Monday. And as we sort of, I continue to sort of champion that mantra and was thinking through as I've outlined the book in my head over the years, numerous times. Just getting the pieces on the page were kind of the challenging part. And so Melissa pushing me m and challenging me to this is something that we can get out into the world and I will help you, um, was a really amazing moment. So I, you know, I'm super grateful for Melissa and our partnership on this as she's really, um, been the one to add the most value and really bring it to life in a way that I could never have done on my own.

Speaker C: That's awesome.

Speaker D: Yeah. Missy is one of those leaders that you just want to follow. And you know, um, I've had experience with a couple leaders of, of that level and with several who um, are still challenged in, um, kind of that transformational leadership. And so when I connected with Missy, it was like I told her, missy, I will follow you anywhere you go. And I quite literally did. And um, you know, when she approached me about tgim, I, um, was like, yes, like a hundred percent. Like, I don't even need to think about this or sleep on it. This is what we live and breathe. And her and I have had so many conversations and so many experiences, um, in different workplace environments. And we always kind of naturally had this TGIM philosophy mindset. Um, so it was really like a no brainer partnership for this book. And we're so excited to bring it, you know, to the world.

Speaker C: That's brilliant. And Missy, so you're on top of writing the book, you're with Teamalytics, so you're doing consulting, executive, uh, coaching around team effectiveness. And I know, Melissa, you're doing, um, a lot of workplace culture champion, uh, activities, engagements. As you think about the book and the intersection with the work that you're doing out there in the world right now, how is it bringing a sharpness or a different emphasis to what you bring in those different roles with, uh, the companies that you get to support?

Speaker B: Yeah, I think it's so nuanced because every company is at a different stage, stage of the journey, and every employee's experience in that company varies. And so it's been a nice refreshing way, being outside of sort of internally corporate to being externally to get our fingerprints and the ability to spend time in different organizations, assessing their current culture and then aspiring to where they want to be and thinking through that. TGIM provides that roadmap to help organizations go from where they are to where they want to be. And if you ask leaders the question, do your employees say, thank God it's Monday, I get to come work here for you, you're the boss I want to work for. This is the company I want to work for. And if the answer is no, or maybe there's pockets of excellence, this book will help lead individuals through the journey of, um, am I in the right seat, in the right role, living my best life, you know, bringing my passions and talents to life as well as is this the company I should be working with and for? And then Taking a step further, it's like, how do you then create teams that work highly efficiently, effectively together? Because you've got the right people with the right attitude, the right mindset in a culture that's really amplifying their ability to be even more effective together?

Speaker C: That's me.

Speaker D: And I think, you know that question that you pose, Missy, like, do I wake up and say, thank God it's Monday? That applies across any industry, across any company, across any type of leadership style, right. Across any role that someone might be in their work. And so it's such a universal question, and it allows us to kind of go in and assess. Like, you could be in technology, you could be in education, you could be in consultancy. Um, um. But do you have that passion for what you're doing? Are you doing work that lights you up? Is it also going home, um, and being the best version of yourself at home, you know? Or does work stress you out so much that you go home and you're just, you know, burnt out and just wanting to. To zone out for the rest of the day? So it's a universal question, and it's one that I think few people kind of pause to ask themselves. Uh, there's sort of this paradigm where it's like, it doesn't matter if you say, thank God it's Monday, like, you're there to do a job. And so, you know, TJim is really just about bringing life into the work that you do. And that applies across any industry.

Speaker C: That's cool. I'd like to double click on a couple of things you've each said there. So I, uh, love missing m. The way you explain that the book allows you to roadmap not only as a leader, where are you taking your team to company, but also as an individual. Um, and that ties into so much of the research and the findings we've been exploring in the show with different guests, which are, uh, once upon a time, we all focused a lot of our learning and development budgets, our culture budgets, around the executive team, around off sites where we're learning that actually we need to get better at defining and creating clarity for what team membership is. And I'm hearing a lot of that in the way you've constructed the book. And then to carry into Melissa's point, I think when that is clear, and I'd love to hear some examples in a minute of where you're seeing that happen, the individual team members are going home because they're on a healthy team, what I like to call a healthy team. And they're going home energized to bring a better version of self to family, parents, friends, community members, you know, sporting clubs that are participating in whatever else it might be. So I think there's a. There's huge positive impact there of us thinking holistically about all of the different roles on a team and how they play in the culture of the work that gets done in a business.

Speaker B: Yeah, yeah. To dive into that a little bit, it really resonates with the work I'm doing with Teamalytics right now. So we talk about creating a teams, which is awareness, accountability, and then acceleration. And so we start with a proprietary 360 tool in which, how does it feel to be around you as a leader? Right. And then it's diving deep and doing a debrief for yourself on, oh, this is how other people perceive me, this is how I perceive myself. That's not how I want to be aligned or perceived. And so that awareness piece is really critical. And then from a team perspective, that accountability, then around sharing how it feels like to show up and then creating this sort of team plan, traction plan, where you can accelerate your team, you know, impact based on how you personally show up. And, you know, the things I've noticed throughout, um, the executive coaching and the leadership development really is about the more I know myself and the way I show up, the better I can show up as a leader to become the best version of myself. And if I'm aware of one or two things, I can tweak slightly to be better, and the person next to me can do that. And the 10 people on our team are each working towards being better, just that incremental amount by each individual, then collectively, the power of that can accelerate. And then when you go home, right, how am I showing up at home? Sometimes we are the worst versions of ourselves at home because people are there and they love us and they have to love us anyway when we show up. And it's like being aware of, if I'm showing up this way at work, how am I showing up at home? And is this how I want to be showing up at home? And. And, um, so we ask a powerful question, sort of with teams and with leaders and even at home is like, is there anything I could be doing different or better to be a better colleague? Is there anything I could be doing different or better to be a better boss? Is there anything to your spouse or partner or your kids? Anything I could be doing different or better to be a better partner to you? And that powerful question by Doing that really helps people on that awareness journey of how am I showing up as a team member or as a member of my family, um, to the point where I even had a gentleman come back to me and share with me like Missy. This literally saved my marriage. Knowing myself and how I show up at work, how I'm impacting others, my behaviors that are getting in the way are now a realization to me of how I was showing up at home. And it's been a game changer. So I think the more people can really lean into, am I being the best version of myself? Am I the boss I want to work for? Um, asking people some of those questions really help on that sort of journey.

Speaker D: Yeah. And I think for me it's also um, about leadership fluidity and adaptability and willingness. Because I mean, let's be real, the world of work is moving at rapid speed. Um, workplace culture and environments are completely different than they were a couple years ago, five years ago, pre pandemic. Right. So with the advent of um, AI coming in and Gen Z really influencing the workplace, there's so much more emphasis, um, and desire on behalf of employees to not only just show up and do their job, but to be able to learn things at work that they can apply at home, to belong to a mission, to be aligned with that mission, uh, above and beyond their role. And so for leaders, it's quite a wild time to be in leadership now. Um, and that speaks to the adaptability and fluidity to be able to respond to the needs of, of your employees, your people, um, and really build those bridges between roles, between departments, between teams, to bring more of the human into um, the workplace. And everyone benefits, uh, the leaders benefit, employees benefit. Business outcomes soar when employees are engaged and feel they belong. So um, for me it's kind of like that, that flexibility and a willingness to change with the times. And it's a very exciting time to be in leadership.

Speaker C: Yeah, it is and it is and it's fascinating. I love that you're bringing the excitement and I love the title of the book for that reason too. Like, it's an exciting time if you embrace it. It's a really scary time if you put your head in the sand and be like, oh, this is really hard right now. I don't want to be responsible for my employees needs in this way. And so I think um, what I'm hearing from your sort of philosophies here is that uh, that whole concept of like, am I a leader that other people want to work for you're reframing it to bring that energy and intentionality forwards. Um, and I think that part is exciting that there actually is, you know, some. Some roadmaps and pathways, some practice that. That can get you into that. I love the. The A team, you know, into that mode. Um, and I particularly like what I heard first from me, Missy, on, like, the little tweaks. It's not a big transformation all at once. And you used the word, uh. Melissa Brinch. One of my emerging beliefs is that if we stop trying to fix people and stop trying to fix teams, and we just start realizing through that awareness, like, where are we? How can we bridge into a slightly better outcome? Then we don't create the burden of change management on people. Um, and I think that's huge. And actually, one of my friends, um, Andre Martin's been doing some work on the myths of performance management. And one of his myths is that leaders should ask for feedback often to show that it's safe. Where actually the reality is leaders need to share how they're using feedback that they got from a coach, from a team member, from AI, it doesn't matter. And show that they're putting the work in to make those bridging moments, and then the rest of the team lives. So there's a lot there I'm intrigued by. Um, maybe a good news story or an uplifting story that you can think of. You shared, the individual whose marriage was saved. But where are some examples of where leaders have just started with a small sentence or a small mindset shift and have started to create that ripple effect?

Speaker B: Yeah, I've been coaching, um, well, I coach a number of leaders, but one particular CFO I've been working with, um, you know, was really challenged with being overly critical, not as nurturing as he could be. Really sort of really about the numbers, really about driving business results and being less about connecting with people and the recognition and appreciation. And so sort of like you said before, Dane, holding the mirror up and just saying, here's how it feels to be around, you know, and this is your legacy. And sort of challenging people with waiting, not waiting until you pass away, not waiting until your retirement party, waiting till the end of the day or even the end of the meeting to say, did I add value to that person? Did I make their job and their life better by being part of. And so that was a conversation we had about, what do you want people to say about you at the end of the day at the dinner table when they're talking about their boss and it was like, I want them to say I pushed them hard and I was driven and we got a lot accomplished. And they felt supported and encouraged and appreciated along the way and sort of showing how that balance would actually. People will run through a wall for you if they know that you care. And so that balance between sort of nurturing and criticality was a light that sort of shined for him. And it's been a game changer. I mean, I was in a session with his team recently and they were like, you know, kind of. And it wasn't major shifts. Like, he didn't start showing up. Not authentic to who he was. He's not an overly nurturing person. Right. But it's like one small thank you, one small text, one small email, one small public, you're doing a great job in front of others. Just minor shifts were such a game changer for him personally, but also for his team that they're like, we, uh, are noticing this. And again, it wasn't that he didn't have good intentions about wanting to do that. It was just being more aware of. So those are the types of things I think when you're dealing with leaders and with teams, I think we outline in the book. Right. Is really this roadmap to become the best version of yourself. Not a complete overhaul, but something that feels authentic and who you can genuinely sustain over time, but can have really major impacts in the way you show up in your leads.

Speaker C: That's cool because there's a lot of performative practice in leadership, and I think, sadly, a lot of leadership development has taken people down that direction where it sounds like with your roadmap, you're getting more to the essence, the human essence of. And I love the word legacy, the way you tie that in. Um, I had, ah, a guest on the show recently, um, and we were talking about the skills decay for human connection. Um, you know, we're just not as good in those small moments at saying thank you. And this is why I appreciate the way you're doing this differently. Um, and from what I'm hearing you say there, Missy, in that example with the cfo, um, it's also okay not to fully embrace that huge shift and send the text message because it's a start. And I think you can skills decay, but they also build on a similar sort of cycle. You've got to just start with small things and build into that routine and allow it to be authentic.

Speaker B: Well, I'm a big fan of like, greatness deserves intentionality. And if you want to be Great at something, you have to be intentional about it. And so if you want to be better at that, you've got to put the five minutes on your calendar that says send the text, recognize someone. You know, you will miss it if it's not natural human behavior. Like, you just are who you are. And so if that is a stretch, then doing that. Right. Other people are on the other end of the spectrum, can't be candid, aren't critical enough, need to be more direct, less sugarcoating. You gotta be intentional and plug those moments on. And I think that being super intentional about what are you trying to be better at and setting that objective and getting it calendared. I'm going to send three texts today and he literally like, puts it on his calendar. And that just helps you, you know, when it doesn't come as organically.

Speaker C: Yeah. Melissa, with, um cultures, when you start thinking about some of those behaviors across a couple of leaders, particularly if you're talking about like a CFO and then maybe, uh, uh, a sales leader, uh, like, how do you see those bridging activities start to bleed over from one team to another and across some of those traditionally tense departmental interfaces?

Speaker D: Yeah, um, you know, it's for me. And I'll speak to this from the employee side actually, because for leaders, they just get to create the opportunity, you know, and oversee it, right? To a certain extent. But like you said, Dane, like, it doesn't need to be performative. It doesn't need to be, um, you know, a complete overhaul of who you are. It's more about your willingness, again, to. To create those opportunities. And um, you know, I have been on several teams that were very siloed, um, who desired to have connections across, you know, departments, um, across teams. And just a leader providing that opportunity, whether it's through, um, an employee impact group, um, and then, you know, the leader also advocating for their employees to, um, participate in such things. Um, it makes a world of difference. It's just like to know that your leader cares enough, uh, beyond your, you know, the job description that they are creating those opportunities for cross connection, for cross networking, um, for belonging, you know, and it's very simple. Um, um. Missy exemplifies this as a leader and something that really stuck out to me when I first was working under Missy was she. She has this, um. She says, you said. You said it. We did it. And for the first time ever, I realized, wow, my voice is being heard. Whereas maybe it was in other. In other, you know, organizations or um environments, but it wasn't that direct implementation and acknowledgement of what employees were desiring, and then to have a leader turn around and act on that and create those pathways and create those opportunities immediately. And it was like, wow, like our. We're valued. Um, and. And it not only allows, from an employee perspective to feel like your voice is being heard, but that you're also now able to be in mentorship with people across teams and network and talk about, hey, what do you do in your role? Because this is what I do. And wow, that's actually, like, really cool. That's a skill set I would love to develop more. How did you learn about that? You know, so it. Yeah, again, it like, infuses the human into teams, and it's just, for me, simply about creating those opportunities.

Speaker C: Yeah, it's cool, uh, Missy, that you said it. We did it. The way that Melissa describes it, it sounds like it also comes with a healthy dose of urgency and time criticality. Um, so tell me a little bit more about where that came from for you and how you used it with Melissa and other team members.

Speaker B: Yeah, I mean, I think it's getting input and feedback from your teams. Right. To understand what's working, what's not working. And, you know, back in the day, and I'm dating myself by saying this, but, you know, you do the annual employee engagement survey, right. And you have 100 questions and people would begrudgingly give you the information and couldn't really act on it. It was very vague. And then, you know, as things have evolved, it's like more real time feedback. Right. You can get feedback on the daily, on the weekly, on the monthly, on how employees are feeling empowered or engaged or, you know, feel like they're contributing. And so I think the more we ask our employees how is it going and providing opportunities for that, then we can turn around and pivot really quickly. As a leader, you can turn around and say, oh, you said this. We're going to go ahead and act on that now. Not waiting for the annual or even the quarterly, but more frequent, um, feedback on. You said it, we did it. And I think that's, from a culture perspective is really important. As we think through. Are you listening to what your employees are telling you? Or are you?

Speaker C: Yeah.

Speaker B: Or are you not? So that's where that came from.

Speaker C: I like that a lot. I like the frequency, the taking the action, but also the frequency of it. And I wonder how much that also ties into a tolerance for, like, risk and change. If you can do things quickly, it proves to teams, hey, we're willing to try something that you're excited by, that doesn't mean that it'll stick. It doesn't mean that we'll nail it. But I wonder if that creates. It lifts that ability for teams to be more sort of innovative and action oriented.

Speaker D: I would say nothing kills culture faster than feeling like your voice isn't heard. Well.

Speaker B: And on that change management note, Dane, I mean, I think in the world of acceleration and the unknown, people just feel unsettled, right? With AI, is it going to take my job if I, you know, am. If I'm not efficient enough? Like, how does that impact me? And so as organizations are grappling with that, it's bringing folks on the change journey and making sure folks really are included in the sort of, what are we doing? Why are we doing it? What's in it for me? And then what's next? And creating a lot of clarity around. Here's how. When you have more headspace because AI is taking the, you know, productivity work, you have more time to be strategic, creative lead, be innovative, like thinking about ways that you can then, um, accelerate that. There's a lot of research already coming out that burnout is going to be even more accelerated because now you can answer 200 emails instead of 100 emails a day. And so these constant leaders have to be really cognizant of people are going to be doing much more and be feeling like I've just, you know, I'm overloaded. And so being really cognizant of the journey around burnout and too much acceleration and then the human components that you can't, you know, microwave. I think Simon Sinek kind of says the two things you can't microwave right, are love and job satisfaction. And sort of that engagement in your work is something that takes time and you develop through relationships, through connection. And I think that as we weave that red thread through the entire book of, um, Chop, the part one is like Love youe Work. Part two is Love youe Life. And then part three is Love youe Mondays, which is really sort of that legacy piece. That's sort of the thread that we're weaving all the way through too, um, to ensure people are really thriving at work and in their life.

Speaker C: I love those three parts. I'm going to come back to those in a bit more detail. But one thing you said there really caught my ear, which is the increase in burnout, how people are unsettled and the importance of talking about what's next. So I think, um, the research out there is Suggesting that individuals in this state of being unsettled are burying themselves in administrative work trying to look busy and productive. Which is super dangerous because it means going back to Melissa's earlier point. They're not out there saying, this is what I'm worried about. This is what I think we could do better. This is how customers might have a better experience. So you're actually losing capacity in teams because of this fear. And one of my favorite, um, I love sort of quick, simple, three part approaches. And in systems leadership, which is a body of work I've m been following lately, they say there's three questions you should be able to answer for every employee on the team. One is, what is the work that you do? Two is how are you doing in that work now? And three is what's next for you? And I think we need to have more of those conversations, not just in the structure like career development, succession planning, but more on that frequent basis.

Speaker B: Yeah, I love that I would even take that one step further to what's next for you? And then do you have someone to replace you that you have mentored, coached, developed and have ready to take on your seat as you're ready for what's next? So that we're always sort of, you know, looking up and looking back to ensure that we're bringing people along with us.

Speaker C: Very cool. And then I have to comment, you called it three parts, but love was in each of the three parts. So love, work, love life, love Mondays. Um, what's the origin of the love? Like how are you landing on that as you've both like constructed the book and this approach?

Speaker B: Yeah, I mean, I think it comes from, you know, if you. And I would even say like on your teams and you know, you want it. Like I always sort of refrain from calling, you know, teams families because we're a team. And sometimes you get traded to another team or you move and so kind of, um. But I think from a love perspective, it's getting up and genuinely loving what you do and how you contribute is such a big part of happiness. I think that the first line of the book is, are you wishing away 1/7 of your life? And part of it is like if you are dreading Monday, if you like Sunday night, are like, I have to go to work tomorrow. If you don't genuinely wake up with joy and excitement about I love what I do and I love the people I get to work with and for and the company that I work for because we add value in these ways, then you're missing an opportunity to really, um, find joy and fulfillment in what you do. So that whole first part of the book is. Is about ensuring right seat, right, doing the right work for the right company. And if that changes or pivots, how do you pivot? Sometimes it's through your own journey of, uh, this isn't bringing me satisfaction anymore, or joy, and I need to pivot. Sometimes it's through a layoff or it's done to you. And how do you recover from that? Sometimes you reach a point of burnout that you're just don't. You're frozen and don't even know where to go next. And so this lays the roadmap for finding the role, finding the opportunity, and ensuring you're aligned with it and then contributing in that really big way. So that's really part one. Loving your work, loving your life is really about loving who you love, loving where you live, loving the company you work for, having a deep appreciation for the relationships in your life that are adding value. Sponsors, mentors, advocates, partners, family, friends. Like, are you surrounding yourself with that network of people that are going to lift you up, champion you, help you, tell you the truth, when you need someone to hold that mirror up. And then the last chapter, you know, part three is really about your legacy. It's about paying it forward. It's about leaving this world and this planet better than you got here. It's about the next generation and. And breathing life in to people that can benefit from your leadership, that you will remember you in a way that not only did they push me to be the best version of myself, they also advocated and championed for me. And so it's sort of like as a leader and as a company. And that's the nice thing about the book. It's on two tracks. One is for the individual. And then we have a, uh, section at the end of every chapter that's advice for senior leaders. HR folks, that's like, if you want to bring this to life in your company, to create a culture where people say, I get to do this. And so I feel like if you don't love what you do, go. Life is too short. Go find something else to do. Like, honestly, like, it's not worth exchanging a day of your life if you're miserable. It's just not.

Speaker C: Yeah.

Speaker D: You know, I think for me, through the TGIM M lens, love is also synonymous with purpose and fulfillment. And if you have purpose and fulfillment in whatever you're doing, um, that expands into love. And it touches not only the work that you do. It ripples into the impact that you have in the work that you do. It ripples into your relationships. It ripples into your level of satisfaction in your environment, purpose and fulfillment. It ripples into every area of your life. And the lack of that is when we start to numb down and when we start to just become complacent. And it's subtle, but it stacks. And at some point it leads to burnout. It leads to, um, just putting your hands up and, you know, just, I, I don't want to do this anymore. Um, so, you know, that love being synonymous with purpose and fulfillment, it just, It's a game changer.

Speaker C: It really is. It's interesting. I would add one word to that, which is mattering, which I think they're all interconnected in some ways. Um, I had Zach Mercurio on the show the other day, and the way you pronounce it there, Melissa, or described it is that lack is very like, it's felt the lack of mattering, the lack of purpose, the lack of fulfillment. And it does break down relationships, trust, belief, or all of the important things to drive accountable, productive teams. Um, what's interesting as you think about all of this AI coming out here is what's often been a moat for companies is going to be fast disappearing because you're going to be able to replicate a lot of what companies do. You're not going to be able to replicate how companies do it through their people. Um, so it's fascinating playing with those three words and again, messing around with acronyms. I know the tech world likes to talk about product market fit a lot. I think the new PMF might actually be what you're talking about with tgim. It's like, how are we creating cultures that bring purpose, mattering, fulfillment? Because that translates to our product design, our customer experience, the whole piece.

Speaker B: Yeah, absolutely.

Speaker D: And I think that's what really sets TGIM apart from, um, you know, it's not just about a set of, uh, processes that you take your teams through. It's not just a methodology. It's actually a movement. Um, and you know, again, it's universal. And it can impact, uh, your life across all industries. So it's universal, I guess.

Speaker B: I love the mattering part that you brought up, Jane, because that is you want to.

Speaker D: It want.

Speaker B: You want to matter. And I think there's folks at times will feel like I'm stuck, I'm stuck in this role, I'm stuck working for this boss, I'm stuck in this company, and they Freeze. Because it's like, I need to put food on the table. I need the steady paycheck. And I think there's this, like, what do I do? And I think that's sort of the practical guide and roadmap that TGIM can take you through. Because at the end of every section, we have practical next steps and reflection questions about, you're not stuck, what can you do? What should you do? How do you reach out to your network? How do you ensure that you're asking yourselves the questions, am I happy? Do I wake up excited? And, like, don't get me wrong, like, I'm a big fan of TGIF too. Like, I love Fridays, right? But I love Mondays just as much. And so I think if you can have folks really reflect on answering those questions and then diving deep about what do I do about it? And the, uh, other thing I talk about tjm, nothing in there is like, earth shattering and something that no one you haven't heard before. It's like closing the knowing doing gap. I know I wanna lose five pounds, but I'm sitting on the couch eating Oreos and binging Netflix right? When I should be eating healthy.

Speaker C: And were you watching me yesterday?

Speaker B: Right, yeah. So it's like the knowing doing gap. And so that's why we lay it out really practically on this is. And how you can reflect on and empower yourself and the practical next steps about what's next if you want to lose the weight, get healthy, have a better job, be a better parent. And it's in incremental small chunks. We also challenge, folks. There's 14 chapters in TGIM. Um, so it's like 14 Mondays to a TGIM, um, life. So if you really read a chapter a week and reflected on the questions at the end of each chapter to say m, am I the best version of myself? Am I the best parent I could be? Am I the best leader I can be? Am I the best team member I can be? And what do I need to do to change or level up or tweak slightly so that I can have a better and more important impact? Back to the mattering piece. Why does it matter?

Speaker C: I love that. And, um, I love how you practically grounded it. I've really enjoyed using Brian Holiday's, um, Daily Stoic Journal because it's. It forces the discipline to go through something rather than reading a book really quickly and then losing a lot of it. Um, so I think that's powerful and I think this holistic kind of all aspects of life Element's very interesting if you're open to it. I'd like to dive into a Persona. Um, because you used an interesting word about freeze. When you've got this person who is in a job when they're not waking up excited on a Monday, and they don't feel fulfilled or purposeful, it is natural to freeze, to be like, well, how else am I going to have health insurance and a paycheck and be able to make my car payment and all of that? So how does the book take that individual through a journey that isn't kind of like a burn the boats? I'm leaving this job, and I'm only going to take the next thing that fits the bucket.

Speaker B: Yeah. Such a good question. I mean, I think I always go back to, like, it's easier to find a job when you have a job. So don't just quit if you don't like your job today and you're frustrated. Like, keep your job. Like, that's important. Keep putting food on the table. But the very first step is acknowledging. And it goes back to Jim Collins good to great book, which is like, the hedgehog concept. Like, what am I passionate about? What am I good at? And one can I make money at? And sort of that sweet spot where those three circles intersect is like, list all the things that will help you, like, on that journey. So it's first identifying that, but then secondly, it's finding a couple folks in your world, in your life, a mentor or someone to or someone that you aspire. That's the role that I want, or that's the job that I want. Go spend time with them, find out what they do, why they do it. I had a leader that, um, I aspired to be. Like, um, her name's Renee. I write about her in the book. I mean, I started, like, dressing like her, talking like her, following her nutrition plan or exercise plan. What does she do in her free time? What books is she reading? Who is she following? Who inspired her? And I think when you start to surround yourself with a network of people that can advocate, sponsor you, be a network to you, you can also then really empower yourself to think bigger and have someone in your life, whether it's a life coach, whether it's a counselor, whether it's a best friend, whether it's a confidant to say, I'm not happy, I need to pivot and I need help. I think that first saying it out loud is the first step and then navigating towards, do I need more education? Do I Need more experience? Who do I need to network with? Asking yourself all the questions of what's next for you. So you start to paint the picture of what's possible and then start taking steps towards it.

Speaker C: I love that. And I think my lived experience, uh, rings true there, too, which is that in my early career, I would jump jobs because I wasn't happy. But then as I got to the middle of my career, I realized I could actually leverage the platform of my current role. My boss, my customers, my team to shift. But I think the way that I was shifting was through exactly what you shared there, Missy. It was joining different peer groups, following people, going to conferences, you know, opening my mind to outside influences and not feeling like I'm here as the cog in the machine, you know, the proverbial cog. Um, so I think that's. That's very uplifting for anyone in any role, at any level of an organization.

Speaker B: Yeah, I think it's always human nature, right? The grass is always greener, right? I'm going to go over here and I'll be happier. And I would even say, like, we do it in the book is like, do a happiness audit or a hygiene audit of, uh, like, what do I love about the. My current role, and then what do I not love about it? What is like. And then are those things that you have control over or have impact or could tweak slightly to enjoy the role. You have to thrive, to continue to grow, to transition to another department, to look at different ways to get involved or have bigger impact versus, like, I'm going to jump, jump, jump. And that's an interesting concept. My husband just retired from a role that he was in for almost 30 years, and that's just unheard of these days. Like, working for a company for that length of time, and it is just human nature. Oh, not happy. I'm moving. Don't like my boss. I'm moving. Don't like this. I'm moving. Versus, like, hey, taking that hygiene audit. And Sean Achor, um, he was a big part of our work in the work that we did. Um, he wrote the book the Happiness Advantage. And it's really about that, finding happiness and joy in what you currently do.

Speaker D: And.

Speaker B: But there's. Sometimes you do need to completely pivot, but other times that you don't.

Speaker C: Yeah, I don't know. I think that's super powerful. I'll throw a different Persona at you, Melissa. So, um, this one's very close to home. It's actually me. Um, I'm not going to say it's a friend. I know. Um, I've shifted from tgif, AH and TGIM to tgit, which is universal because I work Tuesday to Thursday now, which is very privileged place to be. But. But it's partly family driven too, because we had our fourth baby last year and I'm trying to balance my life now. The backstory there is that I'm a recovering workaholic. So tgin, like, come Sunday, I was excited for Monday, and that was eating into my weekends, and I wasn't. While I was loving my work, I probably wasn't putting enough of my time into my, um, life. Um, so I've kind of maybe overly corrected that for now. And I mean, I'm sitting in the discomfort. So for those of our listeners out there that have suffered a little bit of what I have as a workaholic, where you can be all in and you almost overdo it, um, how does the book perhaps shape some practices, behaviors that help us kind of find a little more balance?

Speaker D: Yeah, and I think balance is the key, right? Because so many of us, um, were just in this burnout. Go, go, go. Right? And then what happens is when you're very, um, accustomed to that and, you know, and then you, you switch, it's like the pendulum swings all the way the other way and you know, and then it's like, it's too loosey goosey. It's like, yeah, I'm. Maybe I'm working less, but like, I don't, I still don't have that passion and fulfillment. Right. I still don't love. Um, so it is like, it's not about swinging the pendulum all the, you know, opposite way, but, but finding that balance in the middle. And I think the biggest key to finding that balance is being willing to sit with yourself and ask yourself some of the deeper questions. And this is where the, um, you know, practical applications and the key takeaways and, um, the practices that we have. At the end of each chapter, it's questions to sit with and ask yourself, you know, where am I feeling really energized? Um, where am I feeling depleted? Um, being willing to kind of go outside your typical comfort zone and being like, well, what times of day am I most engaged? You know, when. When are my ideas coming through? You know, how can I, you know, maybe even, you know, talk to my manager, supervisor, boss, whatever, um, about, um, you know, different types of work that you could be doing at different times a day? You know, it's just a willingness to kind of step outside the box. Ask, um, yourself some deeper questions and then to kind of initiate and take action on that. Um, you know, take action on the insights that you glean and actually apply it. Because, you know, journaling is one thing, right? But then it's, it's taking that next step. And how can I make small tweaks to my day, my schedules, my routines so that I truly feel balanced? And, um, when you're balanced is when you can really allow purpose and fulfillment to fill your cup, um, and really be a part of the work that you do.

Speaker B: I think it's also about like your work. A lot of us really derive our value and our, and our by and identify with our work. Right. So workaholics. And I feel like I'm a recovering workaholic as well, where you just felt like that's how I'm contributing to this world and that's how I'm feeling fulfilled. Whereas you spending time with your family, the impact that you're making on your kids, you aren't going to get these moments back, right? I love that you're, uh, Tuesday to Thursday because they're growing up and in a minute you blink and your kids are 5 and 20. And now I have a 30 year old at home. You know, a 30 year old where I'm like, where did the time go? And you're never gonna wish I spent more time at work. You're never going to, you're gonna look back and all the memories that you have are about your family and the memories and experiences that you have. And you may think about the people that you worked with, right? The relationships that you had, the people that you met along the way, the journey, the mentors, the people that inspired you, the teams that you've led, the people. But it's not actually the work. So if you can separate yourself out from. I'm a workaholic because I feel like I need to contribute. Your value should come from how you show up and how you impact others both at work and at home and finding that balance and. Or integration or whatever word you want to use. Make sure it's fluid. It's fluid, right? Because a lot of it is. Um, it's really like, how do I want to be remembered? And I don't want to be remembered for the person that worked 80 hours a week. I don't want to be remembered for the person that was burning out and screaming at people or so not putting my own oxygen mask on first. That I was giving, giving, giving. And it just, I didn't have anything left. My family was the. They were getting nothing because I had nothing left to give. And so I think it's like on the journey of being really aware of your enough just by who you are, not by the role or the job that you have.

Speaker C: Yeah, I love that. I love that. I particularly like the time to time and energy because they're great signals and then that resetting of identity and what value is. Because if you attach value to outputs at work and not to. To the. To your point on legacy, how I've helped people along, then naturally you are going to be stuck in that workaholic vibe. But you can help people along in so many different ways in community. In fact, our communities need a lot more of that connection. Um, so that's a great point to end on. I mean, this has been a wonderful conversation. Uh, from being, uh, able to create environments, cultures where people can do their best, work through intentionality and be able to go home, energize, live these more balanced lives. I love the A Teams, aware, accountable, accelerating, um, this whole concept of bridging and making small changes and building those skills. So like the CFO that's doing the text is for any listeners out there that have got that team member on their team, because we all do. It's an easy way in. Um, and then I love this kind of. This real focus in the book around love, love, work, love life, Love Mondays. And those two examples that we touched on how you can address both the person who's stuck and afraid and the person who's stuck and, uh, addicted. The different syndromes. Um, so for anyone of our listeners that wants to, uh, connect with you, Missy, with you, Melissa, or get the new book, where do they best, uh, find you in the book?

Speaker A: Sure.

Speaker B: Well, they can find us on LinkedIn @livetgim. They can find us on our website@livetgim.com also our books everywhere. So Amazon, Barnes and Noble, Walmart. Just type it in tgim. Love your Work, Love youe Life, Love youe Mondays. It should pop right up. And, um, you know, we'd be excited to sync. Um, our information's on the website on how to get in contact with us@livetgim.com and so we'd love to partner with individuals with organizations. Our goal is just really that people wake up and say, thank God, it's Monday.

Speaker C: Awesome. Well, thanks for being on the show today. And I'll also have, uh, Alicia add that into the show notes. Plus we'll build a cool like, here's the new pmf and we can throw that out there as like a bit of a poster of this conversation, but I've really enjoyed it. Thanks for the work that you're doing. I look forward to, uh, collaborating and teaming up soon.

Speaker B: Thanks so much Dane.

Speaker D: Thank you so much.

Speaker B: Appreciate it.

Speaker A: Just a quick note before we go. The views and opinions shared in this episode are those of our guests and do not necessarily reflect the views of the host, Dane Gruneveld, the Leader group, our patron, Huddle3, or our partners and affiliates. Any scenarios discussed are for the purpose of fueling creative thinking and conversation and should be viewed only in this context. Dane Leader Our sponsors, partners and affiliates do not endorse any guest or any organization they may be associated with. It's important to remember that every workplace is as individual as the people within it. Our recommendation is to always seek solutions that are specifically designed to help serve your team's unique needs. And to this point, please know we're here ready to help you find the best way forward, no matter where your starting point is. You can connect with Dane or myself, Alicia McCraw, on LinkedIn or via the links contained in the show Notes. Thanks again for tuning in. And hey, if you think someone in your network would benefit from this episode, feel free to share it or give us a five star rating. Those five little stars really help us reach more curious people like you. We'll catch you next time on the Future of Teamwork.