The Power of Emotional Neutrality with Alyssa McMasters

Speaker A: How do we take tiny steps to be more comfortable with very normal human emotions? It's not about not feeling guilty when you say no. It's about feeling guilty and understanding that that, no, that feeling is okay and you don't really have to do anything about it. That is like the premise of emotional neutrality is just saying I'm allowed to feel guilty. That doesn't mean I have to go move this person. This doesn't mean that I have to bend over backwards for everybody. I'm just allowed to feel guilty.

Speaker B: The great Mark Cuban once said, business happens over years and years. Value is measured in the total upside of a business relationship, not by how much you squeezed out in any one deal. And we couldn't agree more. This is the Business Development Podcast based in Edmonton, Alberta, Canada and broadcasting to the world. You'll get expert business development advice, tips and experiences. And you'll hear interviews with business owners, CEOs and business development reps. You'll get actionable advice on how to grow business. Brought to you by Capital Business Development capitalbd ca let's do it. Welcome to the Business Development Podcast. And now your expert host, Kelly Kennedy. Hello.

Speaker C: Welcome to episode 355 of the Business Development Podcast. And today it is my absolute pleasure to welcome back to our stage Alyssa, uh, McMasters.

Speaker A: Hello, friends.

Speaker C: Alyssa is a speaker, confidence coach, entrepreneur and sales leader who has spent more than a decade helping people navigate one of life's greatest challenges. Believing in themselves when everything around them feels uncertain. Since joining me way back on episode 199, honestly, I can't even believe it. It feels like yesterday. Alyssa's world has changed dramatically. She's become a mother, returned to enterprise technology, sales, continued building her coaching business, and developed an even deeper understanding of what it really means to lead yourself through change. Today she works with leaders, entrepreneurs and high performers, helping them move beyond self doubt and build confidence that isn't dependent on the next win. Today we're exploring what happens when confidence fades, why so many high performers tie their self worth to results, and how emotional neutrality may be the missing ingredient to leading yourself through uncertainty. We'll talk about sales, leadership, entrepreneurship, motherhood, resilience and the pursuit of success in a world that never slows down. Because real confidence isn't built when life goes according to plan. It's built when everything changes, but you keep moving forward. Anyway. Alyssa, uh, it's so great to have you back, Kelly.

Speaker A: Can you just announce me at every single event? Can I just hire you just to come in and do my Bio, like, who is that girl? She's amazing.

Speaker C: Oh my gosh. Yeah, I'm, you know, so funny. We were talking briefly before the show today, but honestly, it 199. I can't even believe that that was the last time you were on the show because it really feels to me like yesterday.

Speaker A: Yeah. Almost two years ago. And things changed so drastically in two years. So I'm so happy to be on again and chat a little further and get a little deeper because, yeah, both of our kind of lives have changed a lot. Um, in parenting and work and everything.

Speaker C: Oh, my gosh. Yeah. It's like I. I can't. I suck at planning the future. Alyssa. Uh, my, My crystal ball, I say it all the time, is at this point, it is very broken, probably lost, probably stuck under a bed somewhere.

Speaker A: Well, isn't that kind of nice? Like, uh, I'm a firm believer that, like, the doors will open for you and if you just like, go through the, like the next one that feels right, you're gonna find something very interesting. And I think both you and I have like, more non linear careers, but we've made like, really cool spaces. I'm neurodivergent. I don't know if you are, but that's. It's one of my superpowers of being able to like, have a thousand things at once and just like, follow the next door.

Speaker C: Yeah, I'm sure that if I went to the right doctor, they would say that too.

Speaker A: Yeah. I know a fellow, A fellow fellow, uh, different fun brain when I see one.

Speaker C: You know, it's funny. I'm just like super introverted and I can really, you know, I mean, I, I would say maybe a little bit of introvert. Probably a little bit of adhd. We were talking about before, you were saying if you had your desk moved out to the hallway, how is sales treating you and I?

Speaker A: Isn't that so funny? I saw it like, Instagram, TikTok, and I literally sent it to like, every salesperson that I know and they're like, that was me. I'm like, like, we're just really good at connecting. And that isn't as supportive for a classroom setting.

Speaker C: No, very much.

Speaker A: Uh, so in the, in the hall. It's so funny.

Speaker C: Yeah, I got a kick out of that. But yeah, it's like, it's one of those things where I think as an adult, I really just enjoyed my personal time. But. But I could also get very focused in on whatever I was working on. So if I'm like, if I'm starting something new, and I'm passionate about it. I, like, obsess about it a little bit. And I learned later that's actually an ADHD thing.

Speaker A: Yes, it is. It's a hyper fixation. So it's interesting because we're all over the place. And, like, this is me personally, who. Yeah. Is the little. Just has a different fun brain. We're all over the place. We have all these different ideas. But when I can, like, hone in on something, I can get done in two hours, what would take somebody else two weeks to get done. So it's if. If you use it to your advantage rather than look at the negatives, which is, like, a little bit more unorganized, which can be a little bit more rejection, sensitive to certain things. If you can look at the good sides, man. Is it a superpower?

Speaker B: Yeah.

Speaker C: Brad. It's funny. Uh, a past guest, Brad Warren. Our invisible Empire, for those of you who want to search him up. Awesome person. He struggles with adhd, but he said, honestly, he gets the same thing, and it's called hyper focus. And he's like, when you get hyperfocus, my gosh. Like, if you can learn how to harness that, it is super powerful.

Speaker A: Like Limitless, if you remember that movie. Like, there'll be times when I'll be doing something and I'm like, I'll look back. I'm like, who wrote this? Who is that? It's me. Yeah.

Speaker C: Oh, goodness. Yeah. And, you know, I mean, obviously, I love chatting with you because, you know, I mean, you. You have such high energy, but then you all. You also talk about something that I think is super important in life in general, which. Just confidence. Right. Like, every single entrepreneur I have ever met at some point in their career has struggled with imposter syndrome and confidence, period. All of us.

Speaker A: Yeah, absolutely. I think there's many reasons for it. The biggest one being that society tells us that we're supposed to fit in this box, and literally none of us ever will. Um, so when we don't fit in the box, we're like. We start questioning, like, well, what am I doing wrong?

Speaker C: Yeah.

Speaker A: And then we have. When good things happen, we get a promotion, we get the client. We, um, have, like, totally crush a sales call. Things feel really good, and we're like, okay, maybe I'm going to fit in that box a little better.

Speaker C: Yeah.

Speaker A: But then when things go wrong, you lose a client, whether it's your responsibility or not. You, uh, lose, uh, a grant, potentially, or an investor, whatever that looks like, then you're down on yourself and you're like, okay. You're trying to almost, like, look around you and find this, like, box that you can fit in now because you have to compartmentalize that things aren't going your way. And often what we look at is we don't look at the external factors. We look at ourselves in the mirror and say, well, it's all. Must be me. I'm a pos. This is a, uh, big problem that I need to fix. In reality, it often has nothing to do with us. So how do we feel confident when things aren't going well? And that's kind of what I've, through my career, have worked hard to decipher and worked hard to then train other people to do the same thing.

Speaker C: Yeah. Oh, my gosh. And I think entrepreneurship is a great example of that. They don't call it the entrepreneurial roller coaster for nothing.

Speaker A: Yes.

Speaker C: Because it is. It's high highs followed by the shittiest you felt in three years. Yes. And it just keeps doing that. Right. It's like, it's like. And then you dig yourself out and it's great again. And then, oh, uh, God.

Speaker B: Oh, no.

Speaker C: Here we go. Right?

Speaker A: Yeah. And you know what's funny is I feel there's like, the similarities of this roller coaster in many things. But for my life, entrepreneurship, sales, and motherhood are three of those things that are high highs and low lows. So the same concepts that have worked in entrepreneurship have also worked in motherhood, have also worked in sales. So it is interesting how there's like, certain things just to have really high highs and really low lows. And typically those are the things that are the most exciting parts of life. So I'll be Gandhi for a second and say that.

Speaker C: No, that's okay. I like it. I like a little bit of hope. Hope, uh, goes a long way. But before we do that, Alyssa, uh, you know, I mean, at this point, we're 150 some episodes since our last conversation. For the people who haven't met you before, go back, it's episode 199. You're going to want to hear it. But after that, who is Alyssa McMasters in 2026? Bring us to today question.

Speaker A: I think the last two years, what I've really learned is that the, uh, idea of, like, a linear life, a linear career, has never been for me. I've never been like a get a promotion, start a company, and just build it up. I've always been kind of like jumping into new things that Feel exciting. And for a long time I looked at that as almost like, well, maybe I'm just like jumping too quickly. Maybe I just like don't love something or maybe I'm just like not putting enough effort into it. But what I've realized in the last two years, which has come with like even like a deeper sense of confidence, is that I can do a lot of different things at once, do them all really well, and just have different seasons of things. So, uh, right now I'm in like a very interesting season of. My daughter just turned one, so I have two kids, a four year old and a one year old.

Speaker C: Congratulations.

Speaker A: My daughter just started daycare and now I was like really deciding what I wanted to do, whether I wanted to like just continue being an entrepreneur, which I still again, love my coaching, coaching company, or if I was like, I think I kind of want to be part of a team again and kind of seeing what that looks like. And I struggled with this, with this little bit of, um, you can't do both. And then I was like, but why can't I do both? Why can't I have my company and also like, be a really great contributor to a team?

Speaker C: Yeah.

Speaker A: So I started looking around, started putting the feelers out there, to be honest. Started manifesting, um, as specifically, as I told my husband, I said, okay, I want to run my company. I love my coaching. I have my clients. Like, that's been going really well. I love speaking. I have a couple cool gigs coming up in the next couple of months and I need a job that is almost like, it's definitely sales, but also kind of nonprofit because I want to do good in the world. Who doesn't? Um, I want to make sales money because, I mean, at the end of the day, that's why we're working.

Speaker C: That's right.

Speaker A: Um, I also, you know, want to be, uh, from home maybe one day in the office. And it has to be in like a cool neighborhood in Calgary where I'm at. And then literally two months later that job came up. They called me and said, hey, we saw that you're off mat leave. Just wanted to put some feelers out there. Which is how I started with Need Tech, which is a food rescue tech organization. And I think it's really cool. My CEO and my CTO and my COO all have multiple things going on. They have multiple companies, they're all in different places. So I found a team that has a whole bunch of different moving parts that allows me to fit really nicely in there. The Exciting part about that is that, yeah, for so long I thought that either you had to have like a job or be an entrepreneur and there was no way you could find a job that would allow all of it.

Speaker C: Yeah.

Speaker A: And I think that we're finally hitting a space where a lot of different companies, um, specifically in like the kind of cooler, like, tech space, are allowing that and seeing that we are so multi dimensional. So that's probably the word for this year is multi dimensional. I love being a mom of my two babies. I love being an entrepreneur and I love being a tech professional. And I found a way to kind of combine all of them in like a really nice package. So I'm in, like a really cool space right now.

Speaker C: That's amazing. Yeah, I know. The last time we talked to you were just on fire. You were so excited about everything that was kind of coming through for you, which is incredible. And, uh, it is interesting as well, though, because all of your positions, all the stuff you work on, they're all pretty significant positions and roles. Like this isn't you just like dabbling?

Speaker A: Yeah, yeah, it. Very true. So is, is a question you're going to ask, how do you do it? Is that what you're going to.

Speaker C: I feel like everybody is asking this question, Alyssa, all, you know, I mean, everybody who, like, let's get real too. You just had another kid. Like, this is amazing. Uh, and yet you have all of this stuff going on.

Speaker A: How, okay, so this is how is no matter what, something falls behind, there is no way that you're going to do all of it. But if you get really, really honest with yourself and really, really honest with the people around you about your capacity, what you can do, um, what you will and won't do, and when you're having conversations with new clients or potentially new, um, employers, or even your partner and husband of being able to be very honest about your capacity, of what you'll be able to output. I think people take on so much and they just say, yeah, yeah, I can do that, I can do that. And then they obviously shit the bed because they over promise and under deliver. Yeah, I have found that I have under promised and just said, this is what I can offer you. Yeah, I can make this happen. Example as well, my husband works shift work. So he's basically on shift every second weekend. So I'm with the kids alone. So I know that I cannot take any clients when he's on shift. For, for coaching, et cetera. Yeah, that's just how it is. But on the days That I. He has off. It's almost like we co parent while still being in love, where then he's off and he takes the kids. Like, he's like, default parent for the kids.

Speaker C: Yeah.

Speaker A: And, uh, when I have all this time to take on clients, take on new responsibilities, travel a lot for work. So it's really setting those boundaries and being really, really transparent with yourself and the people around you. And I feel like if you can find different communities, whether that's, again, work or home life or entrepreneurship, and you can look at yourself and look at people around you and say, this is what I'll be able to offer you and mean it. That's how I'm able to, like, do it without feeling guilty about any of it. Because everybody knows exactly where I'm uh, at in every capacity.

Speaker C: Hey, rockstars, quick pause here. If you're anything like me, you've probably dreamed about owning your own business most of your life. The Revolution Hybrid vacuum from Hypervac Technologies is a portable duct cleaning system that fits right in the back of your truck or van, giving you a real opportunity to launch your own duct cleaning business, starting at under 7,000 Canadian dollars. Visit www.hypervac.com to learn more. Thanks, Hyperback. Let's get back to the show. Love it. And you are a confidence coach, right? Yeah. You show up in everywhere that I've seen you show up. You are on fire, you are on point. You believe in yourself 188%.

Speaker A: Yes.

Speaker C: Maybe 190. Maybe 190.

Speaker A: You have to be a little Delulu. I am Delulu. And luckiest girl in the world. Why wouldn't something great happen to me?

Speaker C: But I think the question that I have for you is this. What about for us regular folk? For us regular folk who aren't maybe as confident as you are with what we can and cannot commit to. Who? I'm one of those people I've overcommitted way too many times. You know, I'm getting better at it. But I always overestimate what I can do versus what I can actually do. And then you end. Then you find yourself in kind of hot water and questioning life and wondering how in the world you got yourself in this position.

Speaker A: Yep. First I'm gonna ask you this question. Uh, and it's a kind of a rhetorical. And then I'll answer. How do you think that I got to the point of being able to say, this is what I can do. This is why I can't do Maybe.

Speaker C: Maybe a couple of mistakes, a lot

Speaker A: of uh, so many mistakes. Like, like, like, so many mistakes that I would, like. And I'm sure people feel this is. Like, I would be so overwhelmed that I literally gave myself an autoimmune disease. I now literally have, like, a thyroid autoimmune disease.

Speaker C: Wow.

Speaker A: Um, specifically from stress.

Speaker C: Yeah.

Speaker A: So, I mean, there's so many different moving parts. So, like, we can't say it just that. But it's a big, um, big contributor to it.

Speaker C: Yeah.

Speaker A: So I was a regular person. I was that person who took on way too much. I was that person who had this imposter syndrome. So in order to, like, fulfill that imposter syndrome, I would, like, then take on more, and then I'd be more stressed, and I'd be, like, on the shower floor, like, shaking. Cause I was so stressed about work and babies and all these things. So literally, it was a breaking point for me. And actually, when I got my diagnosis of my autoimmune disease, it was a big, like, breaking point of me being like, nope, that's just not gonna work anymore.

Speaker C: Yeah.

Speaker A: No. The steps that I started is I started writing down all of the things that I do, so. Home life, work life, entrepreneurship life.

Speaker C: Yeah.

Speaker A: And I decided, like, I really went through and decided what? Oh, did you remember. Remember that show, Marie Kondo? She's like the. Does it. Does, like, a. She went into your house and said, does it give you joy if it doesn't, throw it away.

Speaker C: I don't remember the show, but I like. I like that phrase.

Speaker A: Yeah. I literally looked at this, like, at all of my tasks, and I was like, what doesn't fulfill me? And is it something that I have to do? Like, yeah, I have to feed my kids. Do I love making dinner? No, but that's something I have to do. Yeah, but is it something that I enjoy? Do I really like doing accounting? No, I actually hate it. I'm not a numbers person. So how can I create a system in my life that I don't have to do my accounting? Um, how do I create a system in my life that I don't have to do? I was gonna say cold outreach, but I actually love cold outreach. So that's. Another person might be like, I hate cold outreach.

Speaker C: Yeah.

Speaker A: So it's really like making a list of determining everything you do and then determining what brings you joy. Keep that. And the things that don't bring you joy. How do you outsource it is like, we have to learn how to be able to, like, let other people help us. That is how the kind of first step I took in order to get to this point where I can, like, look at my CEO and say, no, can't do that. And she goes, okay. Or she says, hey, can you go to. Can you go to Montreal this week? No. How do we set that up? Uh, in which it's almost like a default of being able to put your priorities and boundaries first. And it's when you find what brings you joy and when you find what doesn't, and what you don't want to do is how are you able to kind of regulate that in order to reflect in every aspect of your life? That's the first step. The second step is we talked about emotional neutrality.

Speaker C: Yes.

Speaker A: Is sometimes we. And you tell me your feelings of this. Cause I wanna have a conversation with this one.

Speaker C: Sure.

Speaker A: When you. When someone asks you to do something that you know, like, is helpful, maybe like a friend even asked you to move, what do you feel in your body? What is your body telling you?

Speaker C: Oh, my gosh. I think it really depends on what I have on my plate at the time. Right. Like, I think I'm. I'm very acutely aware of all of the things on my plate. And so whenever something comes up, especially in a busy time, that feels like it's going to throw a wrench into that unique balance of just everything. Oh, my gosh, I feel like I'm going to throw up.

Speaker A: Okay, exactly. So that feeling of throwing up. Okay.

Speaker C: Yeah.

Speaker A: So that is like a wildly normal feeling. First of all, it's a very human feeling. If you didn't have that, like, I'd be like, hey, like, Kelly's.

Speaker C: Kelly's broken.

Speaker A: Yeah, maybe, like, let's just, like, let's just talk about your mental health here.

Speaker C: Yeah.

Speaker A: A healthy person just has that feeling. Right? Yeah, it's. That feeling's okay. Now, what happens when will you tell that person that you're gonna move them? Will you say yes or no? And how will you feel if you say yes or no? Kind of tell me what that looks like.

Speaker C: I'm not afraid to say no, but I, uh. Do I feel guilty. What if I'm being asked by somebody, like a family member or a close friend? Absolutely, absolutely. Because they don't understand. Right. Like, I think that's. You can't expect people that aren't you to understand what you go through.

Speaker A: Absolutely. Now, again, guilt is an extremely normal human emotion. And as humans, like, as our society, we decided to, like, put emphasis or positive versus negative feelings or connotations on different feelings. Guilt is a Very normal human emotion. But for some reason, we then look at it and say, well, something's wrong with us. Like, why are we feeling so guilty? I guess I should change it. I guess I need to, like, go help that person.

Speaker C: Yeah.

Speaker A: Um, guilt, embarrassment, shame. Ah. Are all really unexplored emotions. So why are we so scared of them? We're so scared of, like, because we're uncomfortable makes us uncomfortable. Right. So how do we take tiny steps to be more comfortable with very normal human emotions? So when someone asks you to move, it's not about not feeling guilty when you say no. It's about feeling guilty and understanding that that, no, that feeling is okay and you don't really have to do anything about it. That is like, the premise of emotional neutrality is just saying, I'm allowed to feel guilty. That doesn't mean I have to go move this person. This doesn't mean that I have to bend over backwards for everybody. I'm just allowed to feel guilty now. This is a lesson. It is a learning curve. It is a lifelong learning. I am still learning dearly on how to do this. I like the moving, the moving, uh, concept, the moving idea. Because I think everybody's been through, like, almost exactly that. That you're like, I'm like, in my 30s. I don't want to move for beer and pizza anymore. Right.

Speaker C: Like, yeah, who wants to move? Period?

Speaker A: Like, why are again talking about outsourcing? Okay. If you want your friend to move, you don't want to move. Yeah. Hires, like, you got to outsource.

Speaker C: Yeah.

Speaker A: There's two sides. There's the logistics side of figuring out how you can offload things that, like, don't bring you joy. And then there's a side of getting uncomfortable with these unexplored emotions. Here's another example for myself about embarrassment. I recently, like, cracked on, like, the influencing side of things. I've now getting, like, quite a bit of outreach to me from brands wanting to do partnerships with me. Before I was doing cold outreach, I was posting excited, and I officially kind of hit that threshold where now I'm getting the calls.

Speaker C: Yeah.

Speaker A: Which is a very exciting turn. But in order to get there, I had to post some really cringe videos. And looking back at, like, these videos that I made two to five years ago, I'm like, oh, my God. Like, that was so cringe. And I even remember when I posted them, I was like, this is cringe. Like, my friends and family are going to like, they're literally, uh. It's so embarrassing.

Speaker C: Yeah.

Speaker A: Then from that, I learned what worked, learn what didn't work. And I'm actually really proud of my. The content that I do make. Now. That embarrassment was the important part of being able to get to the point that I was even allowed or able to succeed in influencing.

Speaker C: Yes.

Speaker A: So that is what, to me, confidence is. It's being able to say no to things like, logistically.

Speaker B: Yeah.

Speaker A: Being able to outsource things that don't serve you, and plus being able to allow those different emotions in and see them as, like, learning rather than debilitating. That being said, this is all a practice. It is, like, a must. Uh, you have to practice every goddamn day.

Speaker C: Well, and I feel like we need to talk about what you just talked about, specifically with the cringe videos, because I'm still struggling with cringe videos, Alyssa. Uh, like, I, you know, I mean, I've been at this for years podcasting, but we're really kind of starting to dive deep into the video side. The goal here is, by episode 400, a full refresh for the BDP brand, which will include full video, which, honestly, I'm still struggling with, to be just completely transparent.

Speaker A: I love it.

Speaker C: I've never felt great about video. I just. I feel. It's weird. I feel like I run into the same problem where, you know, in the beginning, when you don't like your voice, when you're. Well, to anybody who's ever podcasted or had to speak and hear yourself back, it takes a while to, like, be like, oh, my God, is that me?

Speaker A: Yes.

Speaker C: Video is the same thing, but in a completely different way.

Speaker A: Okay, tell me more. Is it emotions? Is it, like, logistic where. What's.

Speaker C: No, it feels like an uncomfort where.

Speaker B: Kelly.

Speaker C: I like to show up polished. I like to have my shit together, produce great content. Right. Like, the reality is I've always been able to produce a really great audio show, especially by, like, episode 100 and on. Whereas I felt like with the video side, when I go back and I restart that, I'm starting fresh. So it's kind of felt like, oh, my God, there's going to be cringe for a little bit until we get up to speed. And I'm scared of it a little bit, to be honest. Alyssa.

Speaker A: I totally understand. Like, that. And again, that feeling of being scared of that embarrassment, that cringe.

Speaker C: Yeah.

Speaker A: Uh, because you have a brand that you've already built that you do produce good content. Now switching. Are you, like, does it feel more internal that you're, like, Internally?

Speaker C: This feels 100 external.

Speaker A: Okay.

Speaker C: Here's the thing. It's like. It's like episode three. I've talked about it many times on the show. Episode three was almost the end of the show. If you listen to episode three, you'll be like, this is a normal show, Kelly. Like, what's wrong? I was feeling internally like, who the hell am I to be doing this at that moment? Right? Imposter syndrome at an all time high.

Speaker A: Totally.

Speaker C: And I almost quit. That was almost it. And yes, it's like. It's like I recognize that I'll probably do a great video show. It'll probably be awesome, and thanks for sticking around. But I'm sure there will be moments where I'm looking at this thinking, oh, my gosh, like, what the hell am I doing?

Speaker A: Totally. Now, logistically, I have two qu. Two kind of sides to this, logistically. Are you doing the editing?

Speaker C: Oh, yeah, yeah, I'm learning it. I'm learning it. And, um, um, here's the other thing. I like it. I like editing. I'm a weird. I'm a weird case in that way where I actually like producing and editing my shows.

Speaker A: Okay, great. Then you, like, hit the fire.

Speaker C: I know where you're going with this.

Speaker A: It gives me my fire level. Okay. My maybe challenge for you is to put a cap on how many times you're allowed to go through it.

Speaker C: Okay.

Speaker A: Because it. You could literally be Brad Pitt and you could watch a video yourself, and like, every time you watch it, you're gonna find something new.

Speaker C: 100. Yeah.

Speaker A: So after three times of editing it, I. You need to put a cap on it or else you will. And you kind of need to put it in, like, the file. Like stored file in the back.

Speaker C: Yeah, I've gotten better at that. I've gotten way better at that. My gosh. If you were to talk to Shelby at the beginning of this show, she'd be like, he listens to the show like six times before he releases.

Speaker A: Sounds like you've kind of done that. It's just a learning process of being able to, like, be that uncomfortable. Okay, so.

Speaker C: Well, what I. So. So systems, right? So I think. I think potentially I just need to pause here and say the answer for me was yes. Review it less, but have a system to do it. So I'll walk through quickly how we do the bdp. The BDP is recorded. This is recording number one. We'll export it out, we'll clean up the audio, we'll bring it into a timeline for the first run through edit. That's it. I'M only going through that run through, edit one time. We're going to align everything, intros, outros, all the stuff, and then we're gonna export it to Descript for one final pass through that I can read at, ah, three times speed and catch any of my final mistakes. Once that's out, it's out if there's mistakes. I'm sorry.

Speaker A: The kind of, like, funnier. So I was like, kind of like being like, more like logistic. The funnier kind of side of like, thinking about it is like, whether you drink or not. You know when you're on a night out and you just maybe have a couple cocktails, if you drink or maybe not, maybe you just like, are like vibing with the music and you're at a concert or something and you wake up in the morning, you kind of feel like you might have made like a, uh, mistake the night before.

Speaker C: Yeah, Right.

Speaker A: And you kind of have that, like,

Speaker C: oh, my gosh, everybody anxiety.

Speaker A: If you don't drink, it's just called regular anxiety.

Speaker C: Yeah.

Speaker A: My one girlfriend said this and it stuck with me. She's like, what that girl did is none of your business. I'm like, okay. So I often think, like, what? When I film something and do content, once I post it, it is none of my business. It's just out there, which is almost like the attachment.

Speaker C: Like, you can disengage.

Speaker A: Yeah. Uh, yeah. Like, like unattaching from the outcome. Which is like, we can talk about, like, like how that's like a really important prospect in sales too. You have to. In order to continue through those slumps, you have to detach yourself from the outcome 100%. So putting yourself on. Okay, I can control making 10 calls today.

Speaker C: Yes.

Speaker A: I can't control if one of those calls turns into a demo.

Speaker C: No.

Speaker A: Um, it has the same kind of concept for content. Same concept for even, like, even when we go to motherhood. Like, same concept for motherhood. Like making, like, having a conversation with your kid, like a teaching conversation. Once that conversation is done, you can't go back. You can't, like, redo something. You can move forward and try something new.

Speaker C: Sure.

Speaker A: But you have to kind of detach from this guilt of, like, doing the wrong thing. So it's. Yeah, it's like it's all of these things combined. And again, how do we eat an elephant? One bite at a time.

Speaker C: Yeah.

Speaker A: So it's slowly learning the logistics side of it, slowly learning the emotional side of it, and then slowly learning the detachment side of it. To me, that's how you're able to be, like, you said, a not normal person like me who's able to just be like, fuck it. But that doesn't mean that I don't have days that I'm like, oh, my God, this is, like, awful. Or like, I totally bombed a meeting or I totally, like, like, ruin my kid today. Right?

Speaker C: I was gonna say totally human. We had that conversation right before this show. There's.

Speaker A: Yeah, I had a meeting and I said, like, a joke that didn't land. I'm not even gonna repeat it, but I said a joke that didn't land. And I was like, I came over.

Speaker C: Yeah. You're like, kelly, I need to reset. I need to reset.

Speaker A: I gotta, like, reset my nervous system. Because I'm just, like, feeling a little embarrassed.

Speaker C: Yeah.

Speaker A: So the difference is I still have all of those feelings that embarrassment. I still have all those feelings of those. That guilt. I have just learned how to become a little more resilient around it so that when I hop into the next meeting, I can just kind of laugh about it, calm my nervous system, and then move forward. To me, that's what real confidence looks like. Is what. When you say a joke that doesn't land. When you lose a client, when you know you messed up with your kid, how do you almost, like, decrease the time between neutral. That resilience. How do you decrease the resilience. Time needed?

Speaker C: Well, and it's. It's an interesting concept because it's somebody who spent, you know, at this point, 20 years in sales and business development.

Speaker A: Uh.

Speaker C: Do I really look that old? I must look that old. I'm scared now.

Speaker A: You look like you have.

Speaker C: I can't even believe it, honestly. 20 years. Anyways, there were so many days, Alyssa, uh, where I had to show up, and I was feeling like a sack of shit inside.

Speaker A: Yeah.

Speaker C: Like bad shit had happened. You name it happened. And you'd have to show up to that meeting or that work day and just, boop. All is good, right? Uh, we're all good. We're happy. We're smiling. It's sales, right? Oh, my God. That side of it, though, is also kind of scary because it's kind of messed up.

Speaker A: As soon as you said that, I'm like. I kind of realized. I'm like, okay, so let's get a little deeper. Yes, you still have to show up. Yes, you still have to show up with your kids. You might have the worst day ever, and your kids still need to be put to bed, and they still need to be loved. Um, your kids might be running around the house, and you still need to show up for your business. You still need to show up for your company. So how do we find ways that we can then, like I said when we were chatting, regulate our nervous system and take those breaths and take that time for ourselves in order to be able to have that kind of resilience turned back on? Because eventually I actually saw something on a podcast, and it was all of the emotions that we don't process or don't like, listen to are all buried alive. Oh, gosh.

Speaker C: I don't like that. I don't like that.

Speaker A: Uh, so that's often why, when we have burnout, it's all of those emotions of. Of guilt and embarrassment and regret being buried because we're supposed to bury them. Because it's uncomfortable for people to share them. They eventually will come out. Right? So confidence isn't about burying them and pretending everything's fine. It's about also finding ways that you can build that resilience, like, from the inside out. Therapy is one of those really good options. Journaling is a really good way to do this. Getting out some of those feelings. Exercise. I know it sounds so juvenile, but truly moving your body can, uh, like, release things. Actually, it's very, um, scientific. When. If you pictured your gazelle in the Sahara desert, does it count? Gazelles live in the Sahara?

Speaker C: I don't know. They do today. They do today.

Speaker A: Look at. You're a mule buck in the foothills of Alberta. Okay. That's what I can talk on. Um, and a bear comes up, right? And just chasing you. What you will see is those deer will always, like, shake everything out. It's actually how they regulate their nervous system is by shaking so often. Like, if we shake our bodies, if we move after a really shitty meeting, if we go work out, that can be actually, like, physiologically helpful. So there's this other side of how do we take care of ourselves? And our society has convinced us that taking a bath is self care. It's not. I believe that saying no to something that doesn't feel good to us. Back to this. Finding your list of what feels good. That is what self care actually is. Understanding what feels good to us and what does not feel good to us.

Speaker C: Oh, my gosh. But, like, how often have you hit the end of a day? Uh, I'm just gonna, like, speak for myself here. If listeners feel this too. Thank you. I'll hit the end of a day sometimes where it's been a crazy day. Right. Like in this World, Alyssa. You know, it like, we're in back to back meetings, interviews, podcast production, whatever. Like, there it is from 8am to like 6pm it's full bore. And then I find myself sometimes at the end of the day, my immune system, or, uh, not immune system, my nervous system is just like peaking right. And I don't know how to. Like, I find myself sometimes just feeling anxiety and not knowing how to fix it. Like, knowing that, like, sure, I could have a bath, but I don't think that's gonna fix it. Right. Like. And, uh, yeah, it's like, it definitely has happened to me and. And I would say happens more often than not.

Speaker A: Yeah.

Speaker C: And we're like, we're like. You hit a point where you're like, I don't even know. I don't know what would fix this right now.

Speaker A: And it. I wish that, like, I wish we could go to like a. The doctor for a blood test and they would just pull it out and say, this is what you need today. But it has to be trial and error. And it's so different for everybody.

Speaker C: Yeah.

Speaker A: Uh, in my coaching programs, we often do talk a lot about, um, like, regulating nervous systems because it's like, to me, it's a very important part of processing the whole kind of cycle of confidence. And there are so many different tools that you can use. Do you want to try one with me right now?

Speaker C: Sure, let's do it.

Speaker A: Okay, so this is called Butterfly Eyes. Okay. First, I want to go back and like, put you in that position. You've had a 12 hour day. Your kid's screaming, your wife's exhausted. So, like, she's also being a little, uh, a little grumpy with you because everyone's exhausted.

Speaker C: Oh, my gosh.

Speaker A: Don't get me wrong.

Speaker C: I know this date and I are

Speaker A: like, we're so good. We, like, yell at each other too. Like. Like, he's my favorite person and the most annoying person in the world.

Speaker C: Yeah.

Speaker A: And at least he's not a milk waster anymore. Wait again? Adhd. When my daughter and the moms out there will understand this. When my daughter was like two months old, I was like, power pumping because my supply was like, lower than I wanted it to be. And I'm power pumping all day and I'm eating bran muffins and I'm like, taking all these supplements and I have a little bit of milk, like, just like this much on the counter, and I see my husband grab it and go wash the bottle. So he, like, dumped my milk down the Sink. Anyways, so when that happens, my nerve. This butterfly eyes ain't gonna work. What's gonna work is me saying, you milk wasting gremlin. But that's self care. Self care is saying, that's absolutely not.

Speaker C: Yeah.

Speaker A: Now we're back to the new. The next one. So putting in the position. Everyone's exhausted. You had a really hard day and you've decided that, like, a bath's not gonna work. Like, something like more self care is not gonna work because you're not gonna be able to kind of even calm down to be able to relax. M. You also often phone because it's the easiest thing to kind of, uh, numb your brain. Which actually sometimes if you're like, really heightened is not the worst thing to be able to kind of come down. But let's do this together. We're going to do this exercise that you can do in a meeting. Um, I do this in the meeting often when, like CEOs I'm working with are just like, again, I'm in tech, so I'm often the only woman in the room. And when I'm feeling a little, um, a little someone, uh, says an inappropriate joke, just like I did today. And I'm kind of heightened. And I'm like, don't yell at them because they're your client.

Speaker C: This is also.

Speaker A: You can do this in a meeting. You can do this when you get home from work. You can even do this while you're driving. It's the same premise of the gazelle slash the mule deer shaking. So our eyes have a lot of processing in our nervous system, which would make logically, uh, a lot of sense. Right. And when we're just like animals, when we are looking around a lot, it makes our body go into like a fight or flight state. Because same thing, a mule deer is looking around, hears something and is looking. It's exactly.

Speaker C: You're looking for danger. Yeah.

Speaker A: When they're just like slowly scanning the horizon slowly. Just like eating grub. Their eyes move slowly. So how can we, like, use this tool and use this, like, brain? Knowledge of how our brains work to our advantage, called butterfly eyes. Okay, so when we get anxious, think about a time maybe when you were anxious or just kind of felt overwhelmed and think about what your eyes were doing. My eyes, when I'm overwhelmed, I can kind of show you here too. Will often be, like looking at my phone, looking at this, and I just am, um, just very dysregulated. So I want you to put your hand out and this is, this is Fun and woo woo. So have fun um, with me. And I want you to picture a butterfly is like manifesting on your hand.

Speaker C: Okay?

Speaker A: Okay. If you're in a meeting, don't put your hand out. Just pretend, just pretend it's happening on the desk.

Speaker C: Please sir, I want some more.

Speaker A: Okay. I want you to manifest as butterfly and uh, now have this butterfly like slowly lift off your hand and like watch the butterfly fluttering around. And maybe the butterfly just slowly comes closer to you. And then maybe the butterfly flies a little bit, fly farther away, just a little flutter. And maybe it lands on your computer or your phone wherever you're listening to this. And as it jumps, flies off of your computer, it's slowly fluttering its wings back to your hand. And as it lands on your hand, the wings are opening and shut, closing super slowly. And then as you close your hand, that butterfly is going to go back to its imaginary home. So what do you feel anything different? What do you.

Speaker C: Yeah, actually, yeah, a hundred percent. I think honestly what you're, what you're picturing really is a calm situation.

Speaker A: You're picturing a calm situation and most importantly your eyes are doing the same thing like a mule deer would do if they were safe. AKA our eyes are doing the same tracking that we would do in a safe situation. So we actually like tell our nervous

Speaker C: system, you're good bro, you can calm down. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker A: So that then allows us to be in a space where we can make a clearer decision.

Speaker C: Okay.

Speaker A: Yeah. So make sure you tell everyone about butterfly eyes. You can call it anything else. Race car, race car wheels.

Speaker C: Uh, I think race car might be a little bit too action orientated. They might get back to front fight or flight.

Speaker A: Yeah, that's just like one small, like there's so many different tools you can do. Uh, honestly, chat, gbtm. Um, like just like how do we get to this like a little bit more regulated so that we can make decisions. Because we can't make good decisions when we're just regulated.

Speaker C: Yeah, you made kind of the point that like ah, at least you know when you're in that situation where you don't know what will bring you down. The secret is you need something to knock you back to that like reg to the normal like not normal level but a level at which like something normal can help. Right?

Speaker A: Exactly. And when we talk about those levels, sometimes we make decisions, uh, in when we're dysregulated, whether it's like a positive dysregulation or like a more negative dysregulation. AKA you just got a crazy sale. You just like, uh, got like maybe you signed your first like six figure deal and you are on top of the world. So you go to the car dealership and buy a car because you're like, this is my surprise. And then seven days later you get a call saying, yeah, the companies went bankrupt. Right. Oh my gosh, we're making, I know. We're making decisions based on like a high dysregulation.

Speaker C: Yeah.

Speaker A: Now. Or like you said, I'm gonna cancel the podcast. I'm never doing another one. I'm a total pos. We make decisions on this, like on this lower vibration. Totally dysregulation. So truly like we can't make really good decisions on either side of it. How we have to make decisions is from that neutral. And then when we make decisions from that neutral, often those decisions are the right ones for us. So now we're less dysregulated in the future because we didn't buy the car and now we're not having to go back and sell the car and all these things.

Speaker C: Okay, okay, I like that. So let's talk about that for a second. Because we never typically live in the neutral or at least we're not always making decisions from the neutral. Right. Like I feel like the point at which people make decisions tends to be at the high highs or the low lows. Because that just seems to be the situation at which calls like we need to do something regardless either way. Right. How do we make a uh, neutral decision when we're either at a low low or a high high, we get to neutral first.

Speaker A: So again, big decisions like buying a house, buying something, selling in your company. Right, Whatever. Take gonna take a long time, longer process. And we're a lot most m of the time. Sometimes like things happen really quickly and you have to let go. But most of the time we will have some time to regulate in order to have that neutrality. Whether that's just like a couple hours, couple days, whatever that looks like.

Speaker C: Yeah.

Speaker A: Uh, it's allowing yourself to like uh, emotionally nervous system get back to neutral. But then also tangibly look at all of those things that are going right, all the things that are going wrong. Making a pros and cons list. We have all made pros and cons lists before. I've made them with many of my ex boyfriends that like kind of helped me logistically look at it plus emotions. What am I actually feeling here? What is my gut saying? Our gut is, is often very right in a lot of ways.

Speaker C: Yeah.

Speaker A: But we can't listen to our gut unless we're kind of at that neutral. So it's a combination of all of those things that allow us to have that more neutral ground. It's never going to be perfect. You're never going to be like, I made a perfect decision. There's always going to be ups and downs. But if you make it from neutral, you can justify to yourself like I did, I did all of like the, what is needed to be done in order to make a good decision. I can't control the outcome after. And then that's where that detachment comes from.

Speaker C: Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's uh, it's funny just because like, I never really thought about it deeply, like we were having this conversation. But like, I don't. I think a lot of decision making happens at high highs or low lows as opposed to just all is good. Right. Cause when all is good, you're probably not thinking about shaking up the boat all that much.

Speaker A: Mhm. And then that's where, that's where like the, the challenge comes from. Right. And I think that's where the long term burnout comes from is because we're making decisions in high highs and low lows. So the neutral, like the neutral emotional decision making isn't just about today. This is about like six months from now. Six months from now my life is probably going to be a little more regulated so that I can be a mom and having a company and be in a business. Because six months ago I made really good decisions in neutral settings that actually made sense for me rather than my kids in daycare. Like, let's go. You know, because in the first three months she was sick every day. So.

Speaker C: Yeah, yeah, um, yeah, let's spend a little bit of time there. Actually, uh, you know, we have a lot of women who are listening. A lot of them are, you know, the types of women that you work with, actually high performing professionals who are also moms. Right. Walk me through this because, you know, I mean, I'm a dad who works at home as well. My kids are around a lot. I have an incredible wife who handles a lot of that for me. But you know, pretty soon she's going back to work. We're navigating what that looks like right now. But obviously kids are amazing and a total shit show at the same time.

Speaker A: Literally and.

Speaker C: Yeah, literally. And you got these high performance people trying to do things, but obviously you're dealing with the realities of being a parent at the same time. And let's get Real. Probably the hardest job nobody's paying you for and should be. I feel like we should get paid to be parents. Um, yes. But uh, but somehow we're not. And we're navigating very complex work while still having to essentially have our kids on our mind all the time. Walk me through this. How do we, how do we accomplish our goals as high performance individuals and still be good parents at the same time?

Speaker A: It's a great question. The first. Let me kind of. I want to go back a little bit and talk about the, the dad thing too.

Speaker C: Right.

Speaker A: So I. Women and men, like moms and dads, have different stresses that are both like very challenging.

Speaker C: Yeah.

Speaker A: Um, women are often society tells them that they are supposed to be that the default parent. Women are told that, you know, aren't. Don't you want to be a mom? You're going to miss the best years of your life with your kids. Right. And then men are also told you're supposed to be at work. Like what do you mean? Your wife's taking care of that. Right. Also you're supposed to make the money. So there's two different like dynamics that are. Society has put like these constraints on men and women and they're so drastically different that sometimes it's hard to like see our middle point because women are like, you will never get it. And men are like, you will never get it. There's a company that I work, do a lot of work with. It's called Toast. Toast helps women get into tech. Is basically the, the premise. And in every conference they do a men in tech panel where they bring only men in tech. Like the same way that a lot of tech companies, women in tech. And they'll ask them the same questions that women are asked. And I find it fascinating because everyone gets really uncomfortable because they're like, so how do you do it all? How do you be a dad and, and own a business? And all these guys are like, um, what? And they'll ask like, was your dad a working dad? Was, was that your inspiration to be a working dad? And these dads are like, what? It's just, it's so palpable, the feeling. You would never ask men these questions.

Speaker C: Yeah.

Speaker A: And a lot of like our founders, like our female CEOs, female founders all over the world. Alberta is not any different. Are asked what's your family planning? In investment conversations. Which is like totally inappropriate. You would never ask a man this. So.

Speaker C: Mhm.

Speaker A: That's that side. But then there's this other side for men where like, there's not the same community for men. You can't talk about your feelings, you can't talk about your stress, which then we have a lot of mental health issues for men that are just, like, not addressed. So basically, in that sense, before we kind of move forward, both parties, if you're in a, uh, like a heterosexual relationship, they're the same. Sure. They're the same for everything. But if you have a man and a woman, there's just such drastic different conversations being had that we need to be kinder to each other.

Speaker C: Yeah.

Speaker A: And I'm still learning this, too. I am not saying that I am, um, perfect here.

Speaker C: Oh, me.

Speaker A: Um, neither.

Speaker C: By a lot.

Speaker A: So before I. There's just so much society standards on this.

Speaker C: Yeah. Now, before. I don't want to. I don't want to slow you down here, Alyssa, but I just want to mention. So, like, for that other side of it, I just want to kind of give an example for me where. Let's talk about. Let's. Let's say that I've had that day that I was just mentioning, right? Where, like, it's been back to back, meeting after meeting, you know, deliverance after deliverance, production after production. And it's six o' clock now. Uh, it's basically like I'm just getting home. By the time I go upstairs, it's a similar thing, right? Guys worked all day, he comes home. When I go upstairs after a long day, that's me coming home. And I might be feeling like, oh, my God, like, literal panic, like, literal anxiety. And poor Shelby, she's been home with the boys all day, and she is also burnt the hell out. Like, no question. And so we're meeting each other in that moment, and I think that's where the. That's where chaos ensues.

Speaker A: And it's hard because, like, from my side, I'm like, yes, but you got to leave the fucking house today.

Speaker C: Yeah.

Speaker A: You got to go for lunch with a client. You gotta go to work out in the morning with somebody. And I was here all day with the babies. Right. But also, like, I can understand, like, my husband and you are very similar. Like, I had, like, a high stress. Like, I was like, you know, dealing with, like, pretty, uh. Uh, construct. I don't know the word pretty, like, intense, like, conversations. And now I'm coming home and having to switch into dad mode, and I don't have any kind of, like, buffer time to, like, uh, for myself. So. Bef. Yeah. Before we even talk about, like, how you can feel that in work, like in your own relationship and in your own home. What I have heard from our therapist, from a thousand people, is until the kids are five, it's literally a shit show. It's literally just everyone surviving a little bit.

Speaker C: Yeah.

Speaker A: Which is to some people might be like, oh my gosh, it's kind of scary. To me, it's a little liberating. And here's why. Knowing that it's just gonna be a shit show is kind of freeing knowing I'm not doing anything wrong. It's just Steve and I, my husband and I are just gonna kind of hate each other some days. That's just kind of how it is. We're gonna, you know, butt heads. We're gonna have these conversations. It's also going to force us to be more open with each other, have deeper conversations. So the relationship will probably be even stronger when the kids are a little older. So there's this topic that in work we don't typically talk about what's actually happening at the home either. So we're like, we almost see it as two different things. You have your kids on this side and you have your work on this side. And I'm a firm believer that it's all very intertwined, 100%. So for me, it was very, very important to work with a, um, CEO who either had kids or understood kids. So when I took my corporate job, again with need, she calls me to offer my, offer me my. The position and her kid in the back, she's like, my kid's screaming in the back, so don't freak out, but I'm giving you the job. And that was actually such a green flag for me. I was like, yes, this person is human. That's what I need. So I think we pretend not to be human because we pretend not to like this inside.

Speaker C: Yeah.

Speaker A: So for me, one of my boundaries, like back when I say I was very specific, I was like, I might work some weird hours, I might have a kid in the background, I might have a kid homesick. I might be in and out for a week. I promise I'm, um, really good at my job and I'm gonna get my shit done. But I can't promise you the typical 40 hours a week, every single day. It's gonna be super moldable. If that is not a fit for you, I'm not the right fit for you.

Speaker C: Yeah.

Speaker A: To me, that was self care of saying, like, this is what I'm looking for and I found the right job. My CEO was like, my CEO actually just Gave birth five days ago to her second daughter.

Speaker C: Oh, wow.

Speaker A: So, yeah, so it's, it's first of all understanding that both sides are not. They're not mutually exclusive or they are mutually exclusive.

Speaker C: Well, no, the way that you phrased it too, like when you can show up and say, this is who I am, this is what I can do. This is what I'm not going to do. Take it or leave it. Like, to me that, that feels more honest and more open and like the person I would want to hire than somebody who didn't say those things.

Speaker A: Absolutely. And now I'm like, only about two months in the company. I am like hitting target. So let's all give me a round of applause. Um, and I have no guilt whatsoever about if I have to like, take a couple hours off, take m. My kid to a doctor's appointment, et cetera, or run my own company because they also knew that I had my own company and I was going to continue it. I had no guilt because I like set up the space to be able to say, this is just how it is.

Speaker C: Yeah.

Speaker A: So do you have any comments on that before I talk about the other side?

Speaker C: No, I think we covered it.

Speaker A: The other side is that I have to acknowledge my privilege first as being like a white woman. Second of all, being a woman in like my early 30s who went to university, who came from like a, uh, middle class family was even able to go to university. Right. The reason why I have even the, even the, the ability to say, this is who I am, take it or leave it, is because of my privilege. So I can't also sit here and say, oh, yeah, it's not that hard. Just go to your boss and tell him to off and tell them that you're gonna do this. Some people, maybe you're. I also come from. I also have a, uh, very hands on father in the household that we do very equal stuff. So there's two sides to it. I've worked really hard to like build the brand for myself that I can say, I'm gonna do what I want. Do you want it or not? On the other side, there's so many people who are in this kind of more a fight or flight conversation where like, they like, they're living paycheck to paycheck. They don't have the option to just walk into their job and say, I'm not going to do this.

Speaker C: Yeah, yeah.

Speaker A: So let's talk about that side. I'm talking about the people who are more established in their careers who, who kind of have, like, the brand behind them to be able to say that kind of stuff.

Speaker C: Oh, yeah. I made the case in a different show, Authentic Hustle. Um, we don't do that show anymore. But anyways, we did do it for a while, and I did make the case in there that the ability to say what you want is a privilege.

Speaker A: Absolutely. So let's talk if on the other side, when someone's like, I don't, like, I need this job, I. This is what I need. Yeah, sure. I want to have my own business in a year. How do I still enjoy this job while I'm building something? How do I have confidence in, like, being a parent while I'm having to go to three different jobs? Right, yeah. Uh, that's a whole different conversation as well. But the premise is still there. It's still being able to logistically plan out your time and find more tangible, adding, allowing those emotions to be there instead of fighting them, finding that neutrality and then detaching yourself from the situation, that it's still the same steps. It just has a lot bigger weight that often with my clients will just work a lot slower with it. Because at the end of the day, with a client who owns their own business, who is going because, uh, their new company called them to start a job, is gonna be a very different conversation than someone who's like, hey, yeah, I'm gonna start working at Tim Hortons. I'm really excited about this. That's also very different conversation as well. And I work with all different kinds of people in all different kinds of socioeconomic backgrounds, but the framework is the same.

Speaker C: Okay, perfect. Well, I think that's a great opportunity to bring in. Let me introduce yourself, which I still think is, like, one of the coolest company names ever. What is it? Alyssa? Uh, and who do you work with?

Speaker A: Yeah, Let me introduce. Herself. Is a coaching and speaking company, which helps specifically women who are looking to navigate these different changes in their lives, whether that's their career. I work with career women who are like, hey, I got a new job. I need to ask for what I want. And I don't know what I should ask for. And I feel like I'm asking for not enough I can come in and help you with your confidence of building up that actual offer. On the other side, body image, where we talk with girls and, uh, like, teen girls and women about their body image, how they can feel better in their body, how they can make decisions that feel good for them.

Speaker C: Yeah.

Speaker A: In motherhood, we talk all about the guilt and the Imposter syndrome that we have as mothers and then an entrepreneurship of how are we actually going to. Again, the kind of same framework mixing emotions and mindset with like very tangible, uh, steps of working towards systems that are gonna work for you. So I in general work with all different kinds of women about working on their confidence in every aspect of their lives on two sides, mindset and tangible experience.

Speaker C: Okay, amazing. I do want to touch on that quickly though, because there are a lot of men who struggle with that as well. And I know we're the last to admit it most of the time, but most of us can use a little bit of a boost on the confidence side, especially with imposter syndrome. Um, do you work with men as well?

Speaker A: I work with men in the business sense, in like small businesses often. What I found, and I'm interested to hear your point of view, often what I found is that my lived experience is so different from men, so. Absolutely. That I can use the same framework for you. And in like, in like, in talks and businesses, I can work, I work with men. But when it's one on one, I find that men will often coordinate, feel better in a conversation with another man who's had his lived experience. So that doesn't mean I don't work with men. Just typically I, uh, connect better with women in terms of just knowing what they're going through.

Speaker C: Yeah, you know what, that actually makes sense. But on the other side as well, you have held high level executive seats. You currently do. Yeah, I think on a certain level that also negates some of that. You don't get it. Right. It's like. But you do.

Speaker A: But I do. I get it.

Speaker C: And ah, and I can vouch to say that you are incredible to speak with. Uh, the energy you bring to everything. I think that if you're not currently working with men, you should strongly consider it, um, because I think you would do just fine.

Speaker A: Well then take this as my. If you are cool and you want to hang out with me not in that way, I would totally be open to taking on more male clients for sure. It just is the right fit.

Speaker C: Amazing. Okay. And, um, we're talking to an international audience, so obviously you're based in Canada, but can you work internationally?

Speaker A: Oh, you bet I can. And I do some really cool talks. I often do workshops about how to find that neutrality using a neutrality ladder. That hits really, really well with an entire team, men and women. So when I'm doing workshops and talks, it's everybody. And yeah, I can work international. So these are the places that I want to go. I'm manifesting I'll be in New York in general already in September. So if anyone in New York is like, hmm, hm, let me know and take me to Europe. I want to go to Barcelona again.

Speaker C: All right, New York, probably California. I don't think you'd say no to California. No, go to Cali, New York, California, Barcelona. Uh, give Alyssa a call. Alyssa, uh, pleasure to have you. I do also just want to mention that you're going to be coming in and leading a Confidence Through Change Catalyst Club session inside the catalyst Club on July 22nd. So that's available to all Catalyst Club members. So if you guys are out there and you're looking for something fun to do, come join us in Catalyst Club. Come do a one on one session with Alyssa. Uh, I'm so much looking forward to it. Appreciate all of our conversations and uh, Alyssa, how can people find you if they do want to get a hold

Speaker A: of you on my follow my Instagram, follow my ig, uh, it's Lissasmcmasters. And that's kind of like my like fun, personal half work, half like cool things that I'm doing. And then my website is letmeintroduce herself.com where you can reach out, connect with me in any way. Um, I'm always super open and collaborative to have like cool ideas there. And if you're in the food space, also get at me and check out need tech, which is basically the uber for food rescue. So those are the three ways that you can connect with me.

Speaker C: Perfect. I am going to include your website, your Instagram and your LinkedIn for everybody looking to uh, connect with you. It's all in the show notes, it's in every post. Alyssa, uh, always a privilege. Thanks for coming.

Speaker A: Thank you so much, Kelly. Talk to you soon.

Speaker C: Until next time. You've been listening to the business Development podcast and we'll catch you on the flip side.

Speaker B: This has been the Business Development Podcast with Kelly Kennedy. Kelly has 15 years in sales and business development experience within the Alberta oil and gas industry and founded his own business development firm in 2020. His passion and his specialization is in customer relationship generation and business development. The show is brought to to you by Capital Business Development, your business development specialists. For more, we invite you to the website at, uh, www.capitalbd.ca. see you next time on the Business Development Podcast.