Wednesdays on Whidbey: My Relationship With Whidbey Island Mirrors an Arranged Marriage

Speaker A: Coming to you from Whidbey Island, Washington. This is Stories from Women who Walk with Wednesdays on Whidbey and your host, Diane Wiska. I'm often asked, what brought you to Whidbey Island? It's a standard icebreaker question here. My cheeky response is a, uh, ferry brought me. Ferries being a mode of transportation among the Washington islands, many folks come here, vacation, fall in love and return to claim their spot. Not me. It wasn't love at first sight. In truth, I washed up on the shores of Whidbey Island. My relationship with this place is more like an arranged marriage than falling head over heels in love. An arranged marriage flips the traditional hookup dating, live together, get married sequence. Matchmakers introduce the partners. A ah wedding occurs and love and intimacy are expected to develop afterward during marriage. While Hollywood movies often frame relationships around immediate romance, arranged marriages rely on a partnership built on shared foundations where emotional bonds grow over time. It's a pragmatic mindset requiring work and compromise that helps offset early disillusionment when one person's habits rub up against another's expectations. And like the traditional scenario where attraction might peak during a honeymoon phase, the gradual growth of friendship, love and meeting milestones together sets up a long term companionship supported by those strong ties. Just like our marriages, traditional or arranged, the place we live shapes our identities, behaviors and well being. Places we live, like the tides, direct our attention, movement, social interactions, personal growth and development. The community molds our sense of culture, belonging, what is normal, expected, possible and accepted in ways large and small, place fundamentally influences our daily routines, opportunities and personality. After almost a decade in this semi rural place, with all the highs and lows that come with starting anew in in unfamiliar surroundings. How have I come to love thee, Whidby? Let me count the ways. There's the cool Pacific Northwest climate, the landscape of old growth forests, farms and farmers markets, abundant wildlife, sometimes too abundant in the garden, a slower pace because of narrow winding two lane roads and reduced speed limits. The November to May rain festival that turns our attention and activities quietly inward. Ours is a deliberate lifestyle. We don't have malls or the hustle and bustle of city streets or easy access to stuff one can get over. In America, of course, that means we rely on ourselves and each other, especially when the power goes out and the hum of generators fills the night sky. Ours is a deceivingly robust community of varied spirit, social fabrics, politics, spirituality, intellects and economics. We support writers, artists, hikers, fisher folk, entrepreneurs, farmers, poets, seniors, educators and volunteers. Every meeting and gathering comes with a potluck. Yes, it can take time to find your people in a tight knit rural place, but it's also a matter of stepping out the door, inviting people to share your front porch, building connections, building trust, learning tolerance for others. By and large, people on Whidbey are friendly, welcoming, smart, clever, willing to shed big city ways to make room for patience, maybe even understanding. Because we do not see all things the same way, ours hosts a plethora of outdoor spaces, free public transport, and the most wonderful library system that is the hub, um, of our social connectedness. Sure, the prices are higher than most. We do struggle to make ends meet. Health care service could be better, and ferry scheduling might be sketchy at times, But I knew I belonged when people greeted me by name in the grocery store or Ace Hardware or I was invited to begin teaching story courses for adults. Don't get me wrong, Whidbey island is not unlike your community. It's not all rainbows and rhubarb pie. Here. We have our share of folks who behave like dumb shits. But for every person who behaves like a dumb shit, there's a dozen who are truly kind and decent. That's the bit to remember, because despite the ups and downs, a time must come when you agree with yourself to set aside feelings of uncertainty, venture out, expand your horizons, and engage with your newfound community. As an introvert's introvert the idea of making a coffee date was not in my toolkit. But once I did step out, it became easier and I learned that others were just waiting to be invited. This place called Whidbey island is the place I live. Even more important are the people I'm still coming to know who are shaping who I am. But now that I am in love with a place that doesn't care how I look and if I am happy, happy is how I look. And that's all Question what is it about the place you live that has charmed and shaped you? Sa.