Ep 621: The 7-Figure Mask (How Your Nervous System is Costing You $ales)

Speaker A: Talking about how your nervous system is costing you sales. So today we're going to talk about nervous system regulation, we're going to talk about capacity expansion, and we're also going to get into what it really takes for you to break through your current stabilized monthly revenue. So as you're watching, please drop a hey in the comments. Share this out if you know a Christian woman who. Who truly is set to get to her first million dollars in the next 12 to 18 months. All right, a little bit about why I wanted to bring you this live. You know, a dysregulated nervous system directly and negatively impacts sales. Hey, Bridget. All right, I want to kind of set this up. Brigid. So, um, a dysregulated nervous system creates some things that are not good. So as I read through this list, I want you all, as you watch and as I prepare to introduce Brigid to you, I want you to see how many of these things are happening for you. Uh, dysregulated nervous system creates overthinking. It creates undercharging.

Speaker B: Ooh.

Speaker A: It creates hesitation. Playing small. Even though you may not think about it that you're doing it, but you probably are. We're gonna talk about that too. Dysregulated nervous system also is all about people pleasing and perfection. And, um, gosh, there's just so many difficulty holding boundaries. And so all of this impacts sales in the worst way possible. And so I wanted to bring on Bridget and she is a. The indisputed, undisputed leader in this space. Because Bridget Tabaldi is a neuro backed capacity and growth mentor for Christian entrepreneurial moms. And her resume is impressive. Okay? So get ready. She is a seven figure, two time founder and she's done that with not one, two, three, four, but five kids and one on the way. And she's a homeschool mom, by the way. And she's got an MBA from a top school and she's board certified in health and wellness, by the way. Go check out her bio. She's got an amazing training on why your revenue is capped. I'm about to introduce Bridget, but I want to tell you three reasons why I wanted to bring you this live. Okay? First, you cannot scale to your first million dollars with strategy alone. Impossible. Your body runs the show, not your brain. How many high achievers? That's like news. Okay? That's why I wanted to bring this. Second, nervous system work isn't really talked about in the Christian space. I know for me, I'm like somatics, breath work, What? That's woo woo. Not for me. And then a third reason why I wanted to bring Bridget on today is I want to introduce you to her because I'm bringing her in as a guest expert inside. She sells higher. Right. Which is my ultimate sales program that I'm going to be building out live with so far, nearly 50 ladies in the room together. Uh, but anyway, Bridget, I'm going to take a breath. Welcome.

Speaker B: Hello. Thank you so much. That was such a beautiful introduction. I'm so excited to be here.

Speaker A: Awesome. Um, I think one of the best ways that I can set this up is kind of with a scenario, and then you take it from there. Okay. And really talking about why the next level doesn't require more from you, but it requires more of you. So if I may, I just want to set this up a little bit. Imagine ladies watching you build a business that from the outside looks awesome. You look like everything's together, but at 11pm when nobody's watching, you're still working, you're still striving, you're still convincing yourself that if I do a little bit more, then I'll be enough and God will be pleased with me. And that's going to move the needle. So with that scenario, I think it's going to be familiar with many ladies watching. But tell me what's really going on here?

Speaker B: Yeah, so much is going on here. And so, again, it's really important for you to understand that I do all of this with Christ at the foundation and then with the nervous system as the umbrella of everything. And so with this, I truly believe, and I've seen this time and time again with the women that I work with, that there are different wounds that we have experienced as children, that our parents, our people around us, whomever is there raising us, even if it's coaches, if it's CPD teachers, whomever have unintentionally afflicted upon us because we're fallen people in a fallen world. And so it's all about perception. It's not about intent. It's just about that perception. And so with that in mind, whenever we are younger and most moms know this, where their nervous system of their little babies are still imprinting on the mom for a long time. Like you've heard that word. That's why babies have trouble sleeping. That's why they want to be touched all the time, things like that. And so that goes on until about the age of 10. Uh, once you get to that age of 10, then you start to be a little bit more independent and you can do things on your own a little bit more. But before then it truly is you on your own. And so with that in mind it's really about if you're at that place where you are at 11pm thinking like I need to do all these things, I need to do this, I need to do that. Again, it's less about feeling, it's less about being in your business and feeling like I need to do this stuff because this is going to move the needle. And more about I need to do this because if I don't do this, if I don't work, if I don't strive, then therefore I'm not going to feel like I'm good enough, that I'm not going to feel like this is enough and it's not going to bring in the revenue that I thought and therefore people won't think that I'm good enough. Right. And so that's really what this all comes down to is this idea of do you believe that you are good enough? And again, uh, this is very much surface level that I'm getting at. We go way, way, way deeper. Um, and she sells higher and inside my program. But again it's really about do you believe that you're good enough and if not you're going to keep striving and that's going to show up at that 11pm or at 2am you wake up and you' I have this thing that I have to do right now and where it's going to show up in that to do list that's like five pages long and that's going to feel safe to you because that's what you knew has kept you safe up until now. And so this is really big for high achievers.

Speaker A: I want to give us this is so good. But I really want to make sure that we give a specific example of how this shows up. So I know yesterday you and I were working. I'm one of Bridget's clients, she's one of mine. She's amazing. Like, I don't know, it just happens like, like minded awesome women. Right. And I can tell you I'm late to the party on nervous system regulation. I've gotten really far with despite having my system really regulated. So can you grab a specific example for an entrepreneurial woman of exactly what this means in that she may not think um, intentionally I'm not good enough but how it's kind of running in

Speaker B: the background for sure. So one of the biggest things that I see with women is that Sorry, my little guy woke up early. One of the biggest things that I see with women is that they are consumers. Not in the sense that they want to purchase things, it could be that for sure. But in the sense of, uh, they listen to all the podcasts, they read all the business development books, they are doing all of the things and thinking like they have all this knowledge, they know everything about business, they know how it should work, they know about KPI's SOPs. Like they know when they should hire team, they know all of these things. But. And that's such a beautiful thing to have that knowledge. But if you are just in consumption mode, that is actually a sign of dysregulation. Because if you're not in a production mode, Right, we're made in God's image and likeness. And what does God do? He creates. And so therefore we are also called to create. And so if we are stuck in this consumption mode, then we're not actually living out our true the way that God wants us to be, which is that production mode, the creation. And so that is a huge one that I see for women is that they're just stuck in that consumption.

Speaker A: Wow. Yeah. And I'm thinking because I attract super smart ladies who've gone on and got, you know, um, advanced degrees, they have the high powered positions and roles before switching over to entrepreneurship. I know for me it was all about the doing. The only way I'm going to graduate at the top of the class of law school is I must study. I'm going to do, do, do, do. It wasn't any of this, how am I feeling? I don't care. I don't have time for feeling. I'm sorry to hear that. I don't have time to feel. But, uh, before we go on to like selling from authority, can we just land there and talk about that a little bit?

Speaker B: Yeah. So this is a really great point because we never want to think that we'll just stick with ambition for a second. It could be about anything. We never want to think that ambition is bad. That is not the point of this. The point of this work is to determine if that ambition is coming from a rightly ordered place, which means that it's coming from God, it's coming from a place of peace. Like I have this ambition because God has placed this ambition in my heart and because I know that even if I do my best and it doesn't work out like it's gonna, like it's okay. That's rightly ordered ambition. However, most people don't know. Or, uh. Most people are actually operating from the place of ambition, from a wound, which means that they're working through that ambition because they're afraid what will happen if they don't be ambitious. They're afraid where they might not think of it as afraid, but they might think of it more of like, I've always had to provide for myself. I've always had to take care of myself. Maybe they had their material needs taken care of, but those emotional side of things were not taken care of. And so, again, that's one of the biggest things is, are you doing these whatever traits from a place of peace, from Christ, or is it from a place of. I'm doing this because otherwise something bad could happen.

Speaker A: Um, and yeah, I just want to emphasize, like, as you're saying this, because I'm right here in the thick of this work. It's like we just do things. And I think awareness is the beginning of even understanding that we shouldn't operate our businesses purely from our brain. It needs to be speaking from our body and acting from our body and thinking really from our body kind of sort of. You know what I mean? Like, instead of letting the brain just go on default, we've got to let the body lead the way. So let's switch to authority. Being that sought after, in demand expert. Um, from a capacity standpoint, what does it really look like to sell with authority?

Speaker B: Yeah, so first off, let's just define what capacity is for a second. There's a few different ways about it, but capacity is essentially just how much you can hold without things falling apart. That's very much simplifying it. And I like to think of. Some people think about it as cups. Like, you can pour water into a cup, but if the cup's not big enough, it's gonna overflow. I like to think about it as plates. That whole cup is still having to hold the thing versus a plate. The expectation is that whatever you put on the plate, it has to take care of itself. It has to have some surface tension or something that keeps it on that plate. M. That's how I like to think of it. And so from that authority standpoint, if you're. Every single time that, uh, you try to maybe step out of what's comfortable for you or step into a place of, like, this is where I know God's calling me to be, but you feel like you can't actually get there because something's in the way. Like, that's your body saying, hold up. We do not feel that this next level is safe, and it's totally dependent on the person and their past situation. So some people thresholds are going to be very different than other people's thresholds. And so that's where that awareness, like you just said, comes in. Because God might be calling you to really step into, like, you have the wealthy woman of faith movement, right? God might be calling you to step into that identity and that movement. But if you have identified as, like, wealthy women are greedy, are worldly, are they that love of money, then you are going to sabotage anything that's going to get you to that place that, you know God's calling you to be because you do not deem it to be safe in order to actually be that wealthy woman. And so this applies to every other area in business and life as well, where your capacity will only allow you to grow as big as plate is, or if you want to think of the cup, as large as the cup is, force more on it. You have to gradually, gently expand until you start to say, like, oh, this next level safe. And it takes a little bit. It's not just like, flip the switch. It happens. And then, oh, this next level safe. And so it's a gradual process. And you see this with, like, lottery winners, where somebody wins the lottery and they go from, like, poverty to millionaire. What happens? They squander it all away because they do not know how to handle that. And there's some level of, like, logical, um, training, like, understanding. But there's also that feeling of, I've never had this much to take care of before. And so it's truly about, like, those little integrated steps to get to that place that you want to be. And again, that only happens whenever you do this work to see, like, where's the roadblock, what's capping me and how do I move past that and actually kind of like, shift it down the road so that my safety threshold expands.

Speaker A: Wow. It's just so good. Let's talk about money specifically and, um, bank account. So we know that the top 1%, we look at the bank account every day. We know the numbers, but for women, and I've worked with many who are like, 3, 4, $500,000, and they have this. It's like a visceral reaction when I ask them about their bank account. And so I just want to spend just a few moments talking about that, about how when an influx of money comes in, what may happen if you're not regulated.

Speaker B: Yes. And so when you have an influx of money come in, you are essentially. And if it's past your threshold that you deem to be quote, unquote, safe again, it's different for every single person. You are going to do something to get that back to the threshold that you feel comfortable with. For a lot of women, it's going out, shopping, spending money, doing something like that because they think, oh, if I suddenly got. Let's just use easy numbers. If Your threshold is $10,000 in your bank account, or let's say, say Your threshold is 50,000, because we have high caliber women here. Right? In your checking account, you always keep 50 grand. But then all of a sudden something big happens in your business or something like inheritance or whatever, and all of a sudden you have like 150,000 in your checking account. What's going to happen is cognitively you're going to be like, oh, this is nice. Like, this is great. But your body's going to be like, oh, now this is way higher than I've ever had to manage before. This is more responsibility. This is more for me to take, potentially more for me to take care of. And you're going to be like, I can't, I can't do this. And again, this is not a logical thing. This is just part of your body and your animal brain, if you think of it like that. And so what you do is, again, most people will spend it kind of like it's water. They'll go on really nice trips, they'll buy things at, uh, a store that they don't really need, and then they'll

Speaker A: invest in coaches or some other.

Speaker B: Yeah, yep. For sure. Um, or what can also happen is that they take it and they put it into another account and they're like, I can't touch that account because if I touch that account, then that means the money is never, ever going to come back. So it's typically one of those two things that are going to happen. Most of the time it's spending it, but there is a select few where it's like that, save, save, save, save, save. And so that's really how it does show up, is spending it. Because that threshold doesn't feel safe enough. So that's where that gradual incremental changes have to take place.

Speaker A: Okay, so this is not work that happens overnight. It takes time, and you have that beautiful process to get you there. Let's talk about another point of, um, differentiation that I know you have, and that is nervous system regulation versus nervous system repair. Tell me about that.

Speaker B: Yes. So nervous system regulation is very, very important. This Is the day to day how to stay. We'll just generalize and stay calm. So how do you stay calm? How do you stay grounded even when there's an emergency? Even, uh, a quote unquote emergency? Because most things aren't actually emergencies. How do you stay just in that, like, content place? Because content is good, right? Complacency is not good, but contentment is good. M so that is just general regulation. And we all have to do this every single day. You do it without even realizing. Again, think about babies. That's why they suck their thumbs, right? Like, that's why they make like, hum and stuff like that. We do the same thing. But a lot of people use methods that are not necessarily great, like scrolling on your phone, consuming content. Um, it can even be like that you check out and you just read books, like read, read, read, read, read. It can be that you. Again, it's. Anything that's going to kind of take you out of reality is not the way that we want to do it. We want to do things that give you back life, give you joy, right? So that's the regulation side of things, which, again, these are good things. The problem with them, though, is that if you do not do the work to actually change the way that your body perceives certain situations, you're always just going to be regulating, which is not what we want. Because that takes a lot of time, a lot of energy, and does not get rid of the cognitive dissonance that can happen inside of your brain, which then leads to even more dysregulation that you're then having to regulate. And so it's this vicious cycle going on and on and on. What happens, though, whenever you repair or rewire your brain? Because remember, our brain is very neuroplastic, so it really is able to adjust and to shift. Thankfully, um, we have to rewire the pathways that we associate with certain things. So, uh, for example, money, if you learned money doesn't grow on trees, then you probably associate that you need to save all the money because it doesn't grow on trees. But when you can repair that programming that you have so that you learn that money, yes, doesn't grow on trees. You know that logically. But you also understand that money is also something that's a tool. It's not bad. It's the neutral. And so therefore, I can always make more money. And that doesn't make me a bad person. That just makes it a resource that we have to use. In this day and age, unless you're called to Be like a hermit in a mountain or something like that. Which most of us are not.

Speaker A: Which we're not as entrepreneurs.

Speaker B: So again, whenever you get to that place where you are thinking like, yeah, money doesn't grow on trees, and then you start to think like, okay, what do I believe about money? What do I think about money? What are my associations with money? When you logically can reason with your body and your body starts to get on board with like, oh, money is not actually bad. Money is just a tool. It's just like any, like, I don't know, a piece of fruit. It's just whatever we have deemed valuable. When you can, your body starts to be like, oh, it's just money. We can make more. It's not a big deal. That's whenever your cognitive brain will actually be able to take over and that will shift your associations with money. The big point with this is that your, your primal, your animal, your cog, your. Yeah, we'll just say your animal brain runs about 95% of the show. That's your body. That's your, the body always scanning for, uh, what's around you. Your cognitive brain runs only 5% of the show. So again, that math is never going to outmap each other. You have to get the body on board first. And the associations that the body have have to be changed before the cognitive brain can ever do anything again. Otherwise there's always going to be this dissonance that we have.

Speaker A: So good. All right, um, I want to come back. I have one more question and I want to ask you about how we can begin. If somebody's there and it's like, oh, this is new to me. How can we even begin to get in our bodies? Okay, so remember that question. Right. But as I mentioned, you are coming in as a guest expert inside. She sells higher. Because now we see there is a direct correlation between our nervous system and our capacity and the ability to sell at scale and to have that million dollar business for a million dollar impact. Now she sells higher. There are nearly 50 of the most incredible women that are already in. They're jumping in, they're blowing my mind. And so she sells higher. In case anybody's watching and they're not sure what this is. This is the ultimate strategic, high level sales program meets mastermind meets mentorship. This is, I'm, um, curating this as if it were a 20k mastermind and I'm doing something differently. You know, typically on something like this, we would go ahead and record the modules and throw it up in a portal and say have at it. Well that's not fun. So I decided this summer to devote to building out this robust sales curriculum which is going to be the best, most robust, most intensely amazing sales program ever. And so we're going to be talking about front end sales systems, we're going to be talking about back end sales systems because I really want Christian women out there to step into their wealthy women era. And so what that looks like is I, uh, want you to fill your offers. I know you want this ladies. You want to fill your offers with high caliber clients, you want to generate premium daily sales and here's the kicker, without you. And you want to stack your monthly recurring revenue. That's what we're going to be doing this summer. She Sells Higher if you want to learn more DM me the word. Don't drop it here in the comments because they go away as soon as the live is over. Go DM me higher and I'll tell you more information but Bridget is going to be hosting a couple of trips trainings in there. One is called the seven figure mask and what's the second one? Bridget.

Speaker B: Oh boy, put me on the spot.

Speaker A: I don't remember either. Um, but it's going to be. It's amazing. Something about selling in silence. Look, I can't remember it and it's okay. But if you are at this stabilized 10k, 20k, 50k or 3k, this, um, I'm curating this. She Sells Higher program to hit you. Whether you're early stage founder or advanced established founder, we're going to go deep. You take what you need at the time and the level you're at, but you're going to get lifetime access to this entire curriculum plus Brigid's amazing uh, trainings that are going to happen. So let's get back to my question which was, that was my question.

Speaker B: How do you know? How do you get in your body? Right? Yes.

Speaker A: How do you get in your body? What does that even mean for someone that's like what are you talking about?

Speaker B: Before I even answer that, I do just want to reiterate how great the women are and she sells higher because I had a few of them, um, add me on LinkedIn and were messaging me and they're just like so nice and so kind and like so on fire for the Lord but also making such a huge impact. So I just wanted to share that.

Speaker A: Yeah, I mean I've got ladies to that point. I've got women coming in at the multi six level and one or two are going to make it to seven figures. And I have others that are more early stage. So it is a beautiful mix of different industries, different niches, different areas of expertise and different income levels. So thank you for that. And they're all powerhouses. They're not here to play. If you know me. Look, uh, if you're ready to go knit and needlepoint, I'm not your coach. I, I'm going hard. Okay? So if you, if you want like 2k months, I'm not your girl. If you want to make serious global impact and you're like going big because we know playing small is a sin. Just read parable. The talents. I'm your girl. So thank you for that. Thank you for that, Bridget.

Speaker B: But to answer the question of how do you like, quote unquote, get in your body? It can be really difficult at first if you're not aware of this, Especially if you've gone through your life, um, and kind of like you, Judy, where you had to be the lawyer who was like, very stoic and very like on her game all the time. It can be so hard. And this is where some of that, uh, some of that difficulty comes in, especially as women, because we are made to be different than men, but we are told so often to just be like little men. Right? And that's not actually helping us in any case, point at all. So how do you even get in your body? Well, what that first looks like is first just having an awareness of what your body is doing. And so what that looks like is like right now, are you noticing that you aren't taking deep breaths? Are you noticing that your neck is tight or your shoulders tight? Are you noticing that you are sick? Or it can be anything. Just really starting to get an awareness about what is going on with your physical body first. That's the first step. From there you can go a little bit deeper and you can think about, like, think about the last time that you were sick. What happened around that last time that you got a cold? Or what happened the last time that you started to get migraines, whatever it is. I was just talking with a client about this earlier. She was like, man, I've been having migraines for the past year and a half and it's like, okay, well what happened a year and a half ago that this all started? And wouldn't you know, she was starting a business. She had bought a new property, like all these different things. Her other business was still going on and she was like, oh, that's why I'm very stressed. And so our bodies are always speaking to us. And that's one of the biggest things with this work is that we cannot discount what our bodies are trying to tell us. And so again, just first that awareness. Are you breathing? Are your shoulders tight? Does your back always hurt? Like, do your hips hurt? Just what's going on? Because your body's always holding on to that stress. And then again, you can get a little bit deeper. Like if you have specific symptoms, you get sick. A lot different things like that. And then once you're kind of aware of those things that are happening, that's when you can really start to do, uh, some of that deep breathing. That's when you can start to really ask Christ to come in and like, show you what's going on inside of you. Because again, God made us in his image and likeness. And so therefore he knows all of this already, right? And one of the biggest things that can be so, so healing for so many to remember that even though you have these quote unquote like wounds and these different ailments, these physical ailments, remember that Christ died and he, whenever he was resurrected, he came back with holes in his hands and his thigh. And so, like, he did not try to hide them, he did not try to get rid of, he didn't get rid of them. He came back with them. Because those wounds, those physical wounds are such a sign of what's happening and the same is true for you. So we just have to be able to sit in silence, that's a huge one. And just continue to feel. Your feeling is really what it comes down to. Even if it's uncomfortable, you're not going to be good at it at first if you haven't done it for a while. But once you, huh, do let yourself feel the feeling, everything's going to usually start to pour out and become so much easier to feel.

Speaker A: Gosh, I love this conversation. Because, you know, just like I'm saying, like three and a half years ago when a coach said, judy, are you processing your feelings? Do you know what I told her? I honest to God said, I don't know what you mean. What are you talking about? Anyway, so I cry, I cry, I feel things. So I think that's part of it,

Speaker B: I hope, is that, yeah, for sure, that's a huge part of it. If you allow yourself to cry, uh, when you're happy, when you're sad, whenever, that's, whenever you're start to actually feel things more because you're going to become More and more aware. So just little bits of awareness at first are really important and then you can get deeper and deeper into it.

Speaker A: Well, I just have to say, even while your little one is out over there banging, you are so like, you're just like. It's as if there's silence, you know, it's just you're really embodying the work and I'm just so impressed and so honored to be working with you as your coach and under your tutelage. And now to bring you in to she Sells Higher. Because I'm telling you I am curating this thing as if it were a 20k mastermind and in fact only in she Sells Higher are are you going to m. Am I going to give you the depth of what you're going to get inside? She Sells Higher. Like you have to pay $20,000 in a mastermind to get it or come on in at pre sale pricing. We kick off tomorrow and we're going to go all summer. You're going to get hot seat coaching. And this isn't hot seat coaching. Just real quick. This isn't hot seed coaching. I've been in containers we where you're on a timer and there's certain questions that are off limits and they say, oh, I can't really review that. No, you can't share a screen. No, you can't, you know. No, no, no. Well, this I will. I audit everything, whatever you like me to look at on these hot seat calls. There is nothing off limits and there's no question you cannot ask. Because guess what? In a sales centric business, everything has sales embedded into it. So your marketing, your positioning, everything revolves around sales. I don't know why I can't talk sometimes. Anyway, I guess it's because it's time for us to go. So again, if you are interested in learning more about she Sells Higher DM me the word higher. Now as we close, I, uh, just want to once again, thank you for being here, Bridget, enlightening us. The Christian community needs you. They need to know that nervous system regulation or nervous system repair work, it is of God healing that trauma. So if there's a last kind of good word you want to leave these ladies with, what would you say?

Speaker B: Oh boy, there's so much. I think one of the biggest things is just to know that like God doesn't waste anything. So everything that you're going through, everything that you have gone through for good, the bad, the ugly, like he's using it all for your good and just keep trying to trust him. Even though some of this might sound like Brigid. What in the world are you talking about? Like, just trust that again, he made your body in his image and his likeness. And so therefore, we are called to be similar to him, right? To create. We are called to. To be creators. And that's going to look different for every single person. But you are the only one who's gone through what you've gone through, and somebody out there needs that M. And so don't discount yourself just because you don't have a big following or just because you don't have a lot of email subscribers. Like, you can make such a thing, huge impact, even if you're not, quote, unquote, like a huge company, yet you can do such great work.

Speaker A: Yes, yes. It's impact. And I'll end with this. Ladies, I know business coaches, uh, dispute this, but here's what I know for a fact. When you pursue impact, the income will follow. When you're committed and devoted, devoted to Christ and committed to building a business that's going to really change lives, all you have to do is concern yourself with major impact. That beautiful income will come. All right, Brigid, thank you again for joining me. Ladies, I'm going to see you in. She sells Higher DM Higher to get more information. Uh, until next time.

Speaker B: Bye. Thanks, Judy.

Speaker A: Bye.