Mind Yer Business · 2026-06-16 · 22 min
Key moments - from our scoring
Substance score
24 / 100
Five dimensions, 20 points each
Ashley Jangro, a therapist and business coach, explores how the stories we tell ourselves shape our reality and business outcomes. The episode centers on a powerful distinction: most of what we perceive as reality is actually narrative interpretation created by our brains for efficiency, not objective fact. Ashley demonstrates this through personal examples - like misinterpreting her husband's door-slamming as anger when it was simply loose hinges - and explains how these false narratives trigger emotions that drive poor business decisions. She teaches a practical technique for processing intense emotions by observing them physically (finding their shape, color, temperature, texture) rather than resisting them, grounded in research showing emotions typically last only 90 seconds when allowed. Ashley shares her own transformation using these coaching tools to address a 20-year pattern of drinking one to two bottles of wine nightly, showing how recognizing stories versus facts enables different choices. Real estate agents, business owners, and anyone making decisions based on client behavior will find immediate application here - questioning whether 'my client isn't calling me back' means they dislike you, or whether you're just telling yourself that story.
Reality must be objectively provable in a court of law. If something isn't factual - like assuming someone is angry because they're slamming doors - question whether it's true rather than treating it as fact. This matters because false stories create emotions that drive your actions and results.
When experiencing an intense emotion, pause and locate it physically in your body by identifying its outline, shape, color, temperature, texture, and movement. Describe these details mentally or aloud to give your brain a task so it stops spinning. Research shows emotions typically last about 90 seconds when you allow them to exist rather than resist them.
If a coaching client shows signs of suicidal ideation, self-harm, or inability to function due to depression, Ashley refers them to therapy while continuing to coach. She obtains a release of information to collaborate with their therapist, working in a collaborative fashion rather than choosing one approach.
After using coaching tools to address the emotions she was avoiding or creating through alcohol - like seeking fun or excitement - Ashley lost interest in drinking entirely. She now forgets glasses of champagne are there, a dramatic shift from her previous pattern.
Self-coaching allows you to constantly question your perceptions throughout the day, asking whether situations are reality or stories. Ashley does this continuously, recognizing when she's made an assumption and challenging whether it's actually true, which helps her avoid creating negative emotions and outcomes based on false narratives.
Our reviewer’s read on each dimension, with quotes from the episode.
The episode contains one or two genuinely interesting psychological concepts (the 90-second emotion rule, body-scanning to process emotion) but is heavily padded with family small-talk, CU Boulder enrollment updates, and basic coaching platitudes. The signal-to-noise ratio for a B2B operator is very poor, with the majority of runtime offering no actionable business substance.
studies have shown that when you allow an emotion like that, they typically last about 90 seconds
think of all the decisions, the poor decisions I've made to avoid an emotion when really I was avoiding 90 seconds of an intense feeling
The 'stories we tell ourselves' framework and the thought→emotion→action→results chain are among the most recycled concepts in pop-psychology and life coaching; nothing here is contrarian or first-principles. Even the pithy 'pickle jar' line is a pre-existing coaching aphorism, not original to the guest.
our thought create an emotion in our bodies. That emotion drives our actions, and our actions pile up to create our life
a pickle in the jar can't read its own label
Ashley Jangro is a credentialed therapist-turned-coach with genuine personal experience applying her tools, which gives her some practitioner credibility. However, there is no evidence of operating a business at meaningful scale, building a team, generating notable revenue, or any other indicator of senior B2B operator status.
becoming a therapist will help me work out my own life, right? And it didn't
I started tackling things. I mean, the first thing I started tackling was even though I wouldn't talk about it, I was really uncomfortable with how much I drank
Personal anecdotes are moderately specific (1-2 bottles of wine per night, daughter's age of 16, slamming-door incident) but the episode offers virtually no named companies, cited studies, revenue figures, timelines, or any business-grade evidence. The one statistic cited ('90 seconds') has no source attached.
I was taking down one or two bottles of wine a night
studies have shown that when you allow an emotion like that, they typically last about 90 seconds
The hosts consistently validate rather than probe, closing with 'you've been just so helpful' and asking for 'nuggets of wisdom' as a finale. There is no meaningful follow-up on vague claims, no pushback on the alcohol narrative or its relevance to business coaching, and co-host interjections frequently derail rather than deepen the conversation.
any last minute thing you want to, you know, nuggets of wisdom you can share with us
You've been just so helpful
Computed from the transcript - who did the talking, and the words that came up most.
Part two with Ashley Jangro of Steady Within gets personal. Ashley talks about navigating six kids in a blended family, when her own kids want "mom" instead of "coach," and a technique she taught her teenage daughter in real time that changed how the whole family processes big emotions. She also shares her own story of drinking a bottle or two of wine a night for 20 years, and how the coaching tools she now teaches clients helped her quietly lose interest in alcohol altogether. The episode digs into the idea that our thoughts are not facts, including a story about a door slamming that almost ruined a perfectly good day for no reason at all. Mind Yer Business is a weekly comedy and women in business podcast based in Castle Rock, Colorado, hosted by Inger Hiller and Gina Angiano.
Transcribed and scored by The B2B Podcast Index.
unknown: Well, welcome back to part two.
Gina: We are here with Ashley and Inger,
unknown: of course, and Gina.
Gina: And Gina.
unknown: Yes. Thanks, Gina. Ashley Jangro, thank you for joining us for part two of your amazing, uh, story. And, uh, your business coaching was what we heard about last week. And then also this week, we're going to talk about your therapy practice and your personal coaching, because you do all of that. But I know you had some questions. Right.
Gina: I want to know who you are.
Ashley Jangro: Who is Ashley? Yes. And I shared a little bit of my story during the last episode, but, um, yeah, I'm happy to share.
Gina: What did you want to know? How she has.
unknown: What? Oh, well, I know personally that she has six kids. And look at that smile on her face. How is that possible? Just kidding. To all my kids.
Ashley Jangro: Kids are so easy, right? Yes, I do have six kids. I am part of a blended family. Um, I have. We're kind of like the Brady Bunch. I have three daughters, um, and most of them are adults now. My husband has a daughter and two sons, and his two sons and my two oldest daughters are all kind of the same age. So what's very cool is, uh, they all decided to go to cu. So we have three up at CU now, um, and then another one that's starting in the fall. And so they, like, hang out, have sibling dinners. We'll have four at cu. Yep. We'll have. Next year, we'll have two juniors, a sophomore and a freshman at cu. Then I still have one in high school. And then, um, our oldest daughter is an adult, so she's off on her own. And, you know, the college kids are.
unknown: Does CU give you, like, a group discount? Right?
Ashley Jangro: They should, right?
unknown: You should have a gold card. I know.
Ashley Jangro: Thank goodness they all got in state tuition. That's all I'm going to say.
Gina: Yeah.
Ashley Jangro: So, um, but it's really fun. I mean, they're, you know, you have adult children, too, so, you know. And you do as well. You have one at cu?
unknown: Yes, yes, I do.
Ashley Jangro: Yes. So, um, between the two of us, we have five there.
unknown: Right.
Ashley Jangro: So, um. But I'm having so much fun with adult children. I mean, I. Yes. Like, there's. I enjoyed most stages. Not every stage, but I enjoyed most stages. But this one is just the most amazing. It's so much fun.
unknown: That's awesome. Well, I mean, uh, it must be. If you're able to keep smiling and coming out and helping clients and doing all the things, then it must be going well.
Gina: You've already coached your kids and your family, and now you're continuing to do this.
Ashley Jangro: It's so funny, though, because, you know, it's different for each child. But my oldest daughter, I heard a lot like, I need mom, not coach, not therapist. I just want to talk to mom right now. And then my other two will often come and say, um, okay, I need a coach on this one. And so I kind of know, like, they want to vent, and I need to just listen to them vent and allow them and, you know, tell them I hate that person, too, versus if I'm going to coach them. Um, do they know?
unknown: Do they know when you're trying to, like, you know, figure out their brain?
Ashley Jangro: The number of times I heard, don't coach me, mom. Yep.
Gina: Well, then, is it hard for you to not say something like, do you have to just bite your tongue sometimes?
Ashley Jangro: All the time. And I have to pull back and think, okay, this is not a teaching moment. This is not a coaching moment. Yep, we can talk about that later. And typically, they come back later and say, okay, I need to think about this differently. Like, help me see this differently. Um, one of the things that I found was the most effective when I really did want to coach them and I really did want them to learn something was not to try to teach, not to try to coach, but to model myself doing it. So I remember one of the times that, uh, one of my daughters and I were having a conflict, and I had a moment. I call it the whoosh. Like, I had a whoosh of emotion. Very scientific, right? Like, you know that feeling where it just, like, takes over your body and you can, like, feel it behind your eyeballs? Um, and I said to her, I was like, I need to pause you for a second because, you know, I know it wasn't your intention, but what you just said. Uh, I have a really strong feeling of rejection right now. And so I used one of the tools that I teach all of my clients, which is to process an emotion. And so I stopped, I paused her, and I, like, closed my eyes, and I told her exactly what I was doing. I'm like, I have to go inside my body right now because I cannot think straight. So I explained to her, and this is going to sound really strange, but this is what I do. I find the emotion in my body. I find the outline of it. I find the shape of it, I find the color of it. And I describe it to myself mentally. Um, and I was saying this out loud to her. Um, I describe it in all the physical ways I can. What's the temperature? Does it move? Is There any movement? Does it stay still? Would it be heavy or light if I were to take it out? What's the texture? And I was saying all this out loud. The reason I do that is because, you know when you're having an intense emotion, your brain starts spinning. I'm giving my brain a job so that it can't spin. So I'm assigning it a job to identify where this m. Yeah. And it's a distraction. But what I'm doing overall is I'm allowing the emotion to exist in my body. So I'm teaching my brain, this is not a danger. This is not an emergency. We're safe here. It's not a big, scary monster. And that's one of my favorite phrases is emotions are not an emergency. And so I allow it to exist my body. And what's interesting is studies have shown that when you allow an emotion like that, they typically last about 90 seconds, which was mind blowing the first time I heard it, because I thought, think of all the decisions, the poor decisions I've made to avoid an emotion when really I was avoiding 90 seconds of an intense feeling. So I continued to do that. And what happens is then when you go back to try to find the outline again, you notice it's begun to dissipate, and it's almost like a wave. Like, the emotion gets really intense, and it's like a wave, it begins to pass. So I was describing all of this to her out loud. And I remember opening, uh, my eyes, and she had tears going down her face. And she crawled across the couch and sat on my lap. And, you know, she was 16 at the time, but still like 90 pounds. She's tiny. So either way, I would have let her on my lap, but she said to me, she was like, I want to learn to do what you just did. And it had nothing to do with me saying, okay, you're having a big emotion. Let's go inside your body. It was her watching me do it and model it. And I wasn't faking it. I want to do it right. And it was a very intense moment. It's giving me goosebumps to talk about because then the next time, I don't know if she necessarily told me or not that she was doing it, but the next time she had an intense emotion, she had seen the power of it as opposed to being taught. And so it was a very powerful moment. So while I don't necessarily say, hey, do you want coaching on that? Um, I model it for myself.
unknown: I love that story. And I love. You know, a lot of things are going through my head as you were telling. Um, kind of made me think about back in the day. It's a better version of some of the things we were taught a long time ago, which was to count to 10. You know, count to 10. Because all of those things you mentioned takes time, literal, physical time to think of all those things. And when you said, when you go. To go back and to visualize it again and then it's dissipated. Makes me think of a dream when you, oh, I'm in a great dream and I don't want to wake up. And you try to go back into that dream and I'm like. Like it's ethereal and it's gone. You know, it's almost kind of. So those two things together kind of reminded me of, um, this technique. But this technique encompasses all of that, but in a better way.
Ashley Jangro: I cannot tell you. It is the most simple technique that you can imagine. And it sounds silly, but it has been life changing for me. You know, you're talking about hearing some of my story. When I first got into therapy, I had all kinds of issues that I needed to work on. And I thought, oh, becoming a therapist will help me work out my own life, right? And it didn't. I was trying different.
unknown: Like, they must be the most put together person ever.
Ashley Jangro: And I think that as therapists, we learn a ton of theory and we learn a ton of methodologies, but we were never taught to apply them to our own lives. And that was what was so different about my coaching program, is I was taught to do that. And, boy, I started tackling things. I mean, the first thing I started tackling was even though I wouldn't talk about it, I was really uncomfortable with how much I drank. I mean, for 20 years, right? Like, I was taking down one or two bottles of wine a night, and I didn't want to talk about it. Like, I had even taken an addictions class in grad school and I didn't want to mention it, and I started one to two bottles.
unknown: Is that.
Ashley Jangro: No, that's basically nothing, right? And I didn't consider myself an alcoholic. I didn't consider myself addicted, But I felt uncomfortable. And I didn't think that I had the power to change it. So that was the first thing I tackled with myself with coaching. And I started, um, with a set of tools that I have to first just change the habits around it and then next to start addressing the emotions or the desire to create an emotion, right? Like fun or excitement. Using alcohol. So I was either using it to avoid or to create. So once I started addressing the emotions, feeling the feelings that I was trying to avoid, and creating the feelings that I wanted alcohol to create for me, I. I lost interest. Like, even right now, right? Like, there's a glass of champagne sitting here, and I forget that it's there, which never would have been the case before. And that, again, it's giving me goosebumps, because once I had, like, dealt, uh, with that in my life, I felt so powerful. I was like, if I could address that with these tools, I can do anything. So I used the coaching tools to deal with that, and then I used them to create my business and address the underlying issues that were making me avoid doing something that I knew I needed to do for my business. For example.
unknown: Yeah, speaking of business, um, you know, last week we talked about business coaching, and we're kind of delving into more your personal coaching and your therapy. Have you ever taken on a client and, um, maybe they came in for business coaching and you thought, oh, you're a better candidate for therapy or business personal coaching or vice versa. And how do you handle that?
Ashley Jangro: Yeah, that's a great question. So, um, you know, there's a set of ethics where I won't do coaching with someone who has been a therapy client, but I could go the other direction. Right? So if I say, you know what, this would actually be a much better fit for you if you were in therapy, what generally ends up happening? And this is in the case where if I started talking with a coaching client and realized that they were having suicidal ideation, um, they were having thoughts of self harm, anything that could, or harming someone else, which has never been the case. But, um, I would refer them to a therapist, and I would say, you know, we can continue to work together as a coach. M. However, I need you to be in therapy. And then what I would do is I would get an ROI or release of information and collaborate with their therapist so that we were working in a collaborative fashion. Um, but it's the same thing that we talked about last episode, where it's. If someone is not functioning, if they're struggling to get out of bed every single day because of depression, then they need to be, uh, working with a therapist in addition to a coach.
unknown: Have you ever talked to a therapist or a business coach or a personal coach of any kind? Gina?
Gina: Not a personal coach, but I've been in therapy. I feel like, I don't know. This is my opinion, but I feel like everybody can use some therapy.
Ashley Jangro: What do you think? Absolutely agree with that. Yeah, I'm a big, uh, encourager of coaching specifically. Obviously, if you are struggling to function, therapy is such an incredibly valuable, uh, tool. If you are not and you just want something more. I think everyone should have a coach. I'll always work with a coach because I can't see what's inside my own head. Like some of the things that I believe are real. I need somebody else to just, you
unknown: know, tell me the pickle jar quote again. You said that in the last episode. Right?
Ashley Jangro: Uh, a pickle in the jar can't read its own label.
unknown: Yeah, yeah. And you need a coach to help. Yeah.
Ashley Jangro: To see from the outside and just ask some really key questions that will offer perspective that will get you out of that rut where you're thinking this is reality, because it isn't.
Gina: Well, like you're drinking.
Ashley Jangro: And it was, you know, fortunately, again, the coaching program I was in really emphasized self coaching. So having a really strong self coaching practice, which I realize now I'm doing all day, every day, where I'm recognizing, okay, I just perceived this situation in a certain way. Is that reality? Do I believe that? Do I like who I am when I'm believing that? And I'm questioning myself constantly, which can sometimes be exhausting. Sometimes I have to like, take a step back and take a break from that and just exist. But because it's such a habit, I'm doing it constantly. And if you think about all of the different situations you're in where you perceive, oh, that person didn't really like me. And then you step back and start to question that and you realize, oh, maybe they're tired, maybe they're hungry, maybe, you know, whatever. Um, and you just start to allow yourself to question, hey, I just made that my reality. There's so many instances where it's.
unknown: I was going to ask you about that because, you know, Ashley came and spoke with my team, um, and her topic for us was, uh, what is the story you're telling yourself? And I mean, after that hour of, uh, mind blowing brilliance, my agents were coming up to me and saying, that is such an aha moment. Not just in business, but in my personal life, um, if you wouldn't mind sharing with us, uh, like just a snippet of um, uh, what that was.
Ashley Jangro: Sure, yeah. So what I, you know, the way I think about it is we're all, our brain is creating interpretations and narratives constantly. And those aren't our fault. They just, it's what our brain does because it values efficiency, because we need efficiency to stay alive. And its only job is to keep us alive. What we think is that we are our thoughts, right? In reality, we have this really incredibly powerful machine. And we are the observer, we're the coach of it, of this incredible machine. But it's not us. So when we learn to question those narratives, it allows us to see outside of that. Those narratives are coming from our upbringing and our trauma and how our parents raised us. And, um, whether we got enough sleep or not. And if we had a good dream, right? Like, it's coming from all of that. But it feels like reality to us. And the reason it matters to question it is because our thought create an emotion in our bodies. That emotion drives our actions, and our actions pile up to create our life, right? It creates our results. And so learning to take a step back and become aware it's just a narrative. What is it? And then challenge it. Ask ourselves, do I believe that's true? Who would I be if I didn't believe that was true? Is so useful. Did you start to say something?
Gina: Well, I was thinking, do you have
Ashley Jangro: an example of a situation that you.
Gina: You can like just to make it more? I don't know. I'm just curious.
Ashley Jangro: Sure. Oh, my goodness, I have so many examples. I mean, we talked about the examples, um, in business terms, of if you're, uh, a real estate agent and you think, oh, everybody's a real estate agent, that creates an emotion in your body of maybe resistance or frustration. And then you don't show up with confidence to events. You don't introduce yourself. You don't talk about your role as a real estate agent because you're like, ah, ah, they probably already know somebody. And then you don't get new clients. Um, an example that I love to bring up in my personal life is, uh, one of the days that, um, I heard my husband slamming doors. He was walking around the house slamming doors. And I'm like, he's mad at me. He's angry with me. He's being passive aggressive. He's, you know, and you can imagine the emotions that came up in me. I was like, getting all, like, I didn't do anything. That's fine, right? I was angry. I was frustrated. Pause. Hold on. Do I believe that? Do I think he's angry with me? I'm like, evidence is not showing there's any reason for him to be. There's nothing going on. I allowed myself to question other things. Maybe he's frustrated with work. Maybe something else what it really turned out to be was, uh, we had been painting. We take the doors off when we put them back on. The hinges were different. So when he was closing doors with the same force he always did, they were slamming.
unknown: Now, oh my gosh.
Ashley Jangro: Had nothing to do with him being angry at all. But if I had allowed that narrative, it would have created that anger. My anger would have had me showing up like, so, you know, with a bit of an attitude. And then that would have, he would have reacted to that. It would create a different result than if I allowed myself to question it.
unknown: And that anger or, you know, that has a ripple effect.
Ashley Jangro: Yes.
unknown: Because you could have just internalized it. And well, he's mad at me. And M. Then talk to one of your kids and you're mad at them for whatever reason because you haven't dealt with the fact that you're. He, you know, he's mad at me and I don't know why. So I'm gonna just, you know, you don't even consciously do that.
Ashley Jangro: And then imagine in their mind, they're like, oh, mom's mad at me. It's probably because I'm not doing really well at school and I didn't empty the dishwasher. So then they're like frantically over there trying to empty the dishwasher and like, please me. And I'm like, I was never mad at you. What are you talking about? And really it was a reaction. Right. So it just keeps going.
unknown: So after she did this session with us, I mean, you go throughout your day if you identify.
Gina: Mhm.
unknown: Every time you're telling yourself a story. And she gave us this great tool to just ask yourself, is this reality or is this just a story I'm telling myself?
Ashley Jangro: Yeah.
unknown: You know, my client, a good one, was. Is not calling me back. Does that mean that they don't like me anymore? Does that mean that they're done with me? You know? Or is this a story I'm telling myself?
Ashley Jangro: Yeah. Or are they busy?
unknown: Right.
Ashley Jangro: Or are they just busy and you don't know? And the only reason it matters because I, uh, you know, I talk to clients all the time who are like, yeah, but I'm pretty sure it's true. Like, I know he was mad when he was slamming those doors. Right. And I'm like, it doesn't even matter. Because if it's not a fact, meaning it could not be provable in a court of law, the reason it matters to question it is because it creates a feeling in your body. Then you show up A certain way because of that feeling and that creates your results. So you're like, if I don't know that that's true, then why believe the thing that's going to make me feel terrible? Um, why allow that story in my life when I don't even know?
Gina: That's good information. And you're welcome out there because this was very helpful to me. I learned something today, so I'm so glad.
Ashley Jangro: I'm so glad you can tell the amount of passion I have when talking about this because truly, it completely changed my life.
unknown: Well, I mean, you've helped me and, uh, you know, I would say that I could sit here and talk to you all day.
Ashley Jangro: Right.
unknown: But, uh, we probably have to wrap it up. Is there any last minute thing you want to, you know, nuggets of wisdom you can share with us that you can think of?
Ashley Jangro: You know, the one thing that I want to emphasize whenever I talk about this is using these tools is not, um, designed to try to make you feel good all the time. Like our lives are going to be 50% negative, 50% positive. And it's not designed to, like, think positive or always have happy thoughts. Right. It's just to create, uh, a level of acceptance of reality and understand that you can create different results when you start thinking differently. But not, I never want it to be mistaken for, oh, I should switch all my thoughts to think positive all the time because it doesn't work.
unknown: You know, it makes me think of the movie, uh, what's the name of that movie? Inside your head? Uh, Inside out.
Ashley Jangro: Oh, inside out.
unknown: Right. That was the whole premise. Yeah. Is that the. Or. Joy tried to change all her thoughts to Joy all the time, and that's just not healthy. You have to let sadness come through and you have to let anger, uh, come through and you have to let self doubt and things come through to make you a whole person.
Ashley Jangro: Yes.
unknown: You know, but it almost sounds like you're verifying that that movie is accurate.
Ashley Jangro: Yep.
Gina: That was, it was so good.
Ashley Jangro: I think that was one of the best examples ever of exactly what's going on.
unknown: It can, like how things can go really wrong.
Ashley Jangro: Yes.
unknown: If you don't let your true emotions, like, surface. Yep.
Gina: And I bet as a therapist, it's like you, you just understood it completely.
Ashley Jangro: I, uh, loved it. I thought it was one of those where I thought, everyone needs to see this and hopefully take it seriously. Despite the cartoon.
unknown: Right? Yeah. Despite Amy Poehler's excellent portrayal of Joy.
Ashley Jangro: Yes. So good.
unknown: Uh, can you. Will you come back sometime I would love to.
Ashley Jangro: I obviously love talking about this, so, yes, I really appreciate the opportunity.
unknown: Gosh, you've been just so helpful, and I just think. Thank you, Gina, for helping with this, and thanks to all of our listeners and all of our viewers for tuning into another episode of mind your business. Um, I can't wait to see you next week. You're gonna tune in next week?
Ashley Jangro: Of course.
unknown: Absolutely.
Ashley Jangro: A committed listener now.
unknown: Yes. Yes. Thank. All right, guys, thanks so much. Have a great day, and we'll see you next week.
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