2ML: Influence Without Being Manipulative

Speaker A: Hey, Barry Moline here with Two Minute Leadership. Influence is powerful. That's exactly why ethics have to stay at the center of it. A lot of people talk about persuasion as if the main question is whether it works. Of course it works. The real question is whether it's being used responsibly. That's where trust is won or lost. People don't usually object to influence itself. They object when it feels manipulative, hidden or self serving. That's why I think ethical influence needs a clear test. I use a three part test. First, is it true? Is the information we're talking about here factual? Second, is it based on common sense? When you hear the argument, does it sound reasonable? Third, is it wise? Is the recommendation you're making the same recommendation you give to your spouse, your boyfriend or girlfriend, your children, your parents or a close friend? That third question is especially useful. You probably wouldn't try to manipulate the people closest to you. You'd want to guide them honestly. You'd want them to understand the trade offs. You'd want them to make a good decision, not just the decision that benefits you most. That's a strong test for whether your influence is ethical. This is where a lot of leadership communication goes wrong. People focus on getting to yes. They focus on presentation, pressure and polish. They can get the language right and still get the leadership wrong. If people feel handled, trust drops. However, if they feel respected, formed and free to disagree, trust grows. Leaders should make influence feel open, not hidden. Show the rationale, explain the trade offs, let people see how you got there. Make it easy for others to ask questions or push back without penalty. That's how influence becomes more credible and more durable. Bottom line, the question isn't whether persuasion works. The question is whether it's being used ethically. If it's true, reasonable and wise enough that you'd give the same advice to the people closest to you, you're probably on solid ground. I hope you enjoyed this Two Minute Leadership. See you next time.