Talking To Intimidating People

Speaker A: Do you dread talking to intimidating people at work? Do you feel nervous around the senior leaders or board members or investors that you have to talk to? If so, you're not alone. And today we're unpacking how to take some of the fear out of these conversations. Listen in the leadership coaching group, making personal development the foundation of leadership development. Hey friends, I'm Liz Howard and we are talking about nerve wracking conversations today. Specifically, we're going to try to de stress speaking with intimidating executive types. Someone recently asked me to do a little boot camp on the show where I talk about the must have skills for leaders. And I thought that was a great suggestion. So, uh, this month that's what I'm doing, breaking down some of the not so obvious but incredibly important foundations of leadership. I'm starting with how to get past your nerves when you're talking to even more senior people than you. Because when you move into a leadership role, which includes entrepreneurial growth, by the way, you probably find yourself speaking with more executives in one of two ways. Out of necessity or by design. As an example, you could be told to work with another department and you have no other choice. You might have to present up the chain of command or to a board or to investors or some other potentially, um, judgmental group. It could simply be that you're consciously upwardly mobile and you know that you've got to schmooze a little bit. Whatever it is. If you've been in this type of position, you might feel like you have to prove to whoever you're reaching out to that you're worth their time, that you have something really important to contribute. Or even more dramatically, you might apologize for trying to connect with them. And what I want to offer you today is that you might not have to put yourself through so much agony. So that's what we are exploring. How to prepare yourself for approaching intimidating people about work topics. By the way, I made this beautiful, easy to use guide on how to conduct meetings that drive results. That guide will help you remember all of this. So if you'd like the free guide, go to pages.theleadershipcoachinggroup.com meetings. I'll have a direct link in the show notes also to make that a lot easier. I know it's kind of long. Okay, so let's break down what it is you're trying to do. When you approach the big fancy leaders in an organization, it's really important that you remember more often than not, you are talking to them about something that will benefit both of you, or at least be interesting to both of you. So if you're clear about what it is you want and why it makes sense for them to listen, that should help calm your nerves a little bit. And this is a foundational point. You need to know who you're talking to, why they should listen, and what you want to see happen from the meeting. So you don't want to walk into a meeting, just give a presentation and kind of not know why you're there. Here's an example. If I have to present my work to a fancy boss in my organization, I know it's a benefit for both of us. Why? One, because nobody knows what I'm working on better than me. Therefore, I have insightful and thoughtful information about it. Two, I'm working towards something that benefits my company. I know my boss's job is to ensure that my department or even our whole organization is doing something for the benefit of the company. Therefore, we are in alignment. So I can understand that this meeting is of benefit for both of us. This fact alone helps ground me in a sense of calmness and confidence and spin. This, however, makes sense for your situation. Like if you're talking to investors and you're sweating bullets over the whole thing, think of the mutual benefits. So, one, you're pursuing funding and they might be willing to back you. That's exciting. Or two, they're looking for the right stuff to invest in. They have money, they want to get involved in things. And if you have something that they love and they love what you're doing, you're in alignment. That's a great starting point for a potential business relationship. There's mutual benefits there. You're not asking them a favor. You're presenting something of use. And. And if you're talking to the right person, they're going to want to hear about it. Let's kind of pull that string. You have to be real about who your audience is. What do they want? If you're not sure, here's a pro tip. Be crystal clear about what you want. I'm going to say that again one more time. If you don't know exactly what your audience wants, then you need to be crystal clear about what you want from this meeting or conversation. So imagine this. I'm going to give you a big presentation. I'm nervous. I'm staying up night after night perfecting my presentation. I spend a lot of money on a new power outfit. I obsess and stress and I make this presentation the focal point of my month. It's A big deal to me. Then I stand up with my polished presentation and my power suit and I clearly tell you that I am so excited to talk to you about investing in me and my company to make us more profitable as an entirely digital entity. You might think that's kind of cool or interesting, but unless this is something that you personally invest in, you probably wouldn't care because that's not what you do. Unless it is, then, um, call me. But if the topic is irrelevant to the audience, then no amount of prep and stress is going to make your conversation or presentation good enough. They're not the right people. Your topic has to be relevant to your audience. Start there. In a perfect world, you would ask beforehand to ensure that you're talking to the right person or to be sure that you're bringing up the right material for whoever's interest. That would really help. But if, uh, for whatever reason you're unable to do that, here's the next best thing. State up front in about one sentence what your presentation is going to be about or why you're having the conversation. So, for example, hey boss, I've prepared a presentation to discuss last quarter sales trends for today's meeting. The point of this presentation is mostly informational. If your boss doesn't want that, then within about 30 seconds she can tell you. And if she's really busy, she probably will. It's okay if she resets the meeting and asks for different information, that's fine. You've just established yourself as a credible, concise and easy to work with person. You didn't waste her time. You didn't drone on and on. With this newfound interest in what she needs from you, you can put together a better presentation and feel more at ease because you know what she's interested in and you know that you can provide it. So, let's recap. First, find the mutual benefit for your conversation or presentation for you and the person you're talking to. This is good for your nerves. Two, do your best to cater your content to your audience. And three, be crystal clear about what you're going to talk about immediately when you begin speaking and know what it is that you're trying to accomplish. All right. I hope this helped calm your nerves and gave you some ideas on how to prep more efficiently for any intimidating meeting or conversation. Don't forget to grab my free guide on how to lead impactful meetings at Pages theleadershipcoachinggroup. Com meetings. And again, there's a direct link in the show notes for you. See you next week.