Why Making Yourself a Priority Makes You a Better Leader with Lisa Lounsbury

Speaker A: Who do you want to be as a leader? What are the blind spots you're missing? If you had a magic wand and you could change anything about your workplace, what would you do with it? These are the kinds of questions we explore on Inspirational Leadership. I'm your host, Kristen Harcourt. I'm, um, a keynote speaker, emotional intelligence coach and leadership trainer who partners with executives and emerging leaders who want to achieve extraordinary results for themselves and their organizations. You're in the right place if you're ready to cultivate the self awareness to be the leader you were born to be. Let's go on this journey together. Welcome to Inspirational Leadership. I'm your host, Kristen Harcourt and we have another amazing, amazing guest. My guest today is Lisa Lounsbury, who is a resilience and well being expert, certified lifestyle wellness and menopause coach and the founder of Noonday Wellness Incorporated. For more than 30 years, Lisa has been helping leaders and organizations build healthier, more resilient workplaces by making wellness a core part of leadership and culture. She is the author of Making Wellness a Priority, host of the youe Wellness Podcast, and a sought after speaker who has inspired thousands of professionals across industries with practical strategies for resilience, well being and navigating change. Lisa is also passionate about breaking the stigma around menopause and supporting leaders in creating more inclusive workplaces. In 2024, Lisa completed a remarkable 350 kilometer solo pilgrimage along Spain's Camino de Santiago, an experience that deepened her understanding of resilience and now shapes the work that she shares with audiences around the world. Welcome to the show, Lisa.

Speaker B: Thank you. It's great to be here, Kristen.

Speaker A: So Lisa, you so many wonderful and interesting things on your journey and I always like to give the audience an opportunity to first get to hear a little bit more about your story. Like tell us more about what got you to where you are now. And I'd love to hear a little bit more around some of your athleticism too. That was new that I learned I hadn't, I actually didn't know that. This is what I love about my guests. I get to do some research and even people I know, I'm like, oh, I didn't know this part of your story. So tell us more about your story.

Speaker B: Sure. So my story starts a long time ago when I was six years old. But we'll fast forward it. So, uh, ah, at the tender age of six, I started to love dance. So moving my body was a passion, a passion of mine. And so that, so that passion to move my body through Dance kind of followed me throughout my life. And then as I became an adult and needed to get a job, those dreams or those passions kind of just took a back seat. Then I became a mother and you know, all the, all the things that life throws at you. But I was always very intrigued about how I can incorporate my passion of moving my body in with my life and how can I make that a living. Actually what I eventually turned out, uh, to do, but as a fitness instructor. So I was a dancer turned fitness instructor. I really struggled to motivate people to want to be healthy, like on a consistent basis. So if you can imagine what it looks like in the gym in January or in September, places packed, everyone comes in bright eyed, you know, expecting the world to change for them and then reality sets in and a couple months later they fall off the wagon. And I was, I was frustrated year after year seeing this trend and I'm like, what can I do to help people maintain their mobility and maintain their, their passion for being healthy? And so I created a methodology, if you want to call it, called making wellness a priority. And that's where the, the idea of my book and my m. My um, message came from. M. When we can make wellness our top, top priority. Being healthy is no longer a chore. It's no longer something that happens in January or in September or when we, we are ill and have to recover from an illness. And so when I started leading with more of a psychological driver, I saw change in people. I saw that sustainable change and I thought, I think I'm onto something. And then that kind of motivated me to want to start a business and really help those that are stuck and can't get started or keep stopping. And when you read, uh, read the methodology in my book, it, it's just common sense. There's science behind it, but basically it's, it's making healthy less complicated. And that's what drives me to want to keep doing this because people are still struggling and I want to be there to empower them and to not make this such a difficult journey.

Speaker A: Beautiful. I mean, I think all of us that uh, we really, we start to recognize the movement, but being able to make it an everyday part of our life and uh, really be able to embrace it. So it's not something that you like, you have to do or you should do. It starts to be something that you don't even of course, like, why would I not want to do this? And it's so interesting, um, being around kids too, to see how movement is Just such a natural part of their life. Like they just. All day long, that's all they do. And then of course, we get into these jobs so often that are very sedentary and that doesn't make us feel very good when we've been doing that all day long. So I love that, that, I love that that journey brought you into doing this work around wellness. So let's start by talking a little bit around. You know, there are going to be people who are listening. Um, we'll start more at the individ level, but we'll move eventually into more at the org level. But at the individual level, you know, we hear this all the time, right. People want to be healthier, they want to make it a priority. And I love that your book calls it a priority. And there are these barriers. What do you notice are some of those biggest barriers? You kind of alluded to some of them. It sounds like also complicating things, but how for someone listening and realizes, like, yeah, I don't want this to be this, this every year it's a New Year's resolution and I fall off after three months. I want this now to be something that I really, really decide to make this commitment so that, uh, it's a long term, rest of my life kind of commitment. What are some of the things they can be thinking about?

Speaker B: You use the word barriers, and that's the premise of this whole concept is we can find barriers to accomplish most things, especially when it's not a priority. So if you think about something that is a natural priority for you, there's going to be barriers to accomplish that. So I'll use children as an example. If you have a child and that child needs to go to the doctor and you are busy, do you take that child to the doctor? M. Of course you do. Are you busy? Of course you are. Do you have barriers to taking the time off work or getting time enough to dedicate to your children? Of course you do. But you figure it out because that child and that child's health is such a natural priority. You don't even, you don't even think about it. You just figure it out. Yeah. And so when you put yourself on the same pedestal as something that has a priority like that, you'll notice that time is no longer a barrier. Lack, uh, of fitness is no longer, or lack of money or whatever you are creating as a barrier in your mind, you're going to notice you barrel through that barrier because you've made yourself such a top priority. It's Just a natural way of m. Moving through things. When someone tells me they don't have enough time to exercise or time to take care of themselves, it stems from they're not there yet. They haven't made themselves a priority because it switches so easily once you do that.

Speaker A: Yeah, it's so funny. A couple things show up for me when you say that. I remember I've had several times with clients that, that exact same thing. Especially when it comes to, uh, prioritizing themselves and where it comes to self care and creating the time and space for themselves that they will always give to everybody else. And I would say to them, I'm like, I know that if you had, uh, this in your calendar that you were taking yourself even or your child to a specialist appointment, you're going to make that happen. Or when the calendar invite says, uh, you're meeting with the CEO, I know you're going to honor that commitment. So it was so interesting, even as we started to change and shift how they were labeling important meetings, which were actually meetings with themselves, but putting that in the calendar and calling it something that felt like a really high priority, that was them already saying out loud, like, I'm taking this as seriously as I would the appointment with a specialist or the appointment with the CEO. But before they weren't, it was just like, they put it in the calendar, but they'd see the thing and they would just delete it. But it was so interesting because it created a mindset shift. Like when they look at that, by seeing the way they've labeled it differently, it was reminding them, no, I've now said this thing is really important to me. And so now I'm going to take it seriously and I'm not going to just delete it or ignore it, um, when it's in my calendar. And it's so interesting how much of that is a really, really, really, really massive mindset shift. And I don't know if you've seen this when you're working with organizations and so many leaders that I've worked with, they are, they will be so good at giving advice to their people. They will be so good at saying no, like, absolutely, your vacation's important. You are absolutely not checking in when you're on vacation. Um, absolutely, this thing is happening in your family. You need to take care of yourself. And yet that advice they would give to everybody else around them. Um, they would not, they would not maintain that for themselves.

Speaker B: I see that all the time, Kristen. All the time. And to emphasize the power of showing up and demonstrating. So you can say one thing, but if you're not living it, you're not being authentic. And people are not going to follow you as a leader if you are not demonstrating what you are saying. And that came through clearly to me when I asked my three adult children to write me love letters. And those love letters I used to take with me when I walked, uh, through Spain, those love letters highlighted a theme. So they didn't talk to each other about the letters, I didn't ask them what to write. And in the theme, they all reminded me of how I demonstrated and how I showed up to be, um, conscious of my health, how I had self care as my top priority. They watched me eat well, they watched me take care of myself, they watched me laugh, they watched me dance, they watched me. And the legacy is not of how much I gave to them and did for them. That wasn't the legacy. The legacy was they watched me demonstrate. So now as adults, they understand the value of putting themselves first. So if leaders don't demonstrate what they're saying or doing, it's not authentic, it's not real, there's no proof. And so I find leaders need to understand what they're saying and what they're actually living. They need to match up.

Speaker A: Mm, such a beautiful example there. I love that you're, you asked ah, that of them with being able to share that because I think that creates such a beautiful, intimate moment. And sometimes people wait to get things like that. Well, they don't wait. They're no longer alive. And people are saying those things at their funeral instead of on the day to day being able to express like the impact that you've had on them. And um, I think you're so right, the, the leading by example. And it's interesting, like everyone seems to know that at an intellectual level, right. They get that of course we need to be leading by example. But I like what you said there because I think anyone who might be listening, where they might need, uh, that permission slip, there's something in them where they've been conditioned to believe, making those sacrifices, whether that be for their kids, whether that be for their team, whether that be for their significant other, is somehow them being a supportive, loving, caring human and that they're somehow giving them what they need to give them to be, you know, the best version of themselves. And I think the shift here, the opportunity, the invitation that both Lisa and I are giving people who are listening today is that, um, that's not actually true. Like when you're Constantly sacrificing yourself for them. And I've heard actually I remember, I remember actually this is coming to me right now. I remember talking to my therapist a coup years ago and we were just talking about, you know, relationships and when relationships end and I was talking about how I actually don't see as a failure at all. I think sometimes people are meant to be in your life for certain seasons. And she had said, um, you know, especially sometimes the concerns with, with parents might be well back in our parents generation it's like will you stay for the kids? And she was saying how, you know, I just want to tell you from the other side, I can tell you 20 year old, 22 year old, 25 year old who come into therapy and say I just wish my parents had left. Like it was. I wish they had ended the relationship. It was very clear how unhappy they were. Or I wish that my mom or my dad didn't feel like I never asked them to make all of these sacrifices that they made again. This is coming from such good intentions, right? The intentions are, well, this is what it looks like to show love but actually you're not showing them the lesson because you're now teaching them. You should sacrifice yourself like to sacrifice yourself. That's how you show up as that person. No, no. And it's not an either or either. I think that's another thing we need to be conscious of. Like it's not an either or. We're not saying sure, make your health a priority at all expenses. Like to use your doctor's appointment like sorry, oh you're over here and you're like incredibly sick. I'm about to go to the gym right now so I don't know how that's going to happen for you. Of course we're being holistic and the way that we make our decisions, we're not over indexing on either side. I do think so many people, um, and I've seen it so often with my coaching and my leadership development training. It needs to be that shift for them that they just recognize because they have um, this belief that's not an accurate belief that it's somehow being selfish.

Speaker B: Mhm. And selfish is a hard or guilty. There's selfish and guilty. Those emotions pop in all the time, Kristen. And you're right, you're not going to sacrifice one end to get the other. But they can live together. You can give to others, but we all know you can't give to others when you don't give to yourself. So if you can motivate yourself saying I need to do this for myself so I can do this for those that want uh, me to or I need to. It's a really powerful balance when you trust that it works. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker A: So, so talk to me about like with all of the different people that you're. We're eventually going to get into the menopause but just getting more to the kind of the holistic one wellness. You know, somebody's listening and they're saying, yeah, like this is my time, this is where I want to start to make that commitment. What are some steps that you would recommend that they can start to, to get some perhaps some clarity and to get into some of that, that momentum in action in more of a long term m way as opposed to some of these where it might be the short term motivation but because I think sometimes two people over commit and they want to do everything all at once and then what ends up happening is like this is too much. They do nothing at all. So where would you recommend people start?

Speaker B: It's a million dooll question and I have, and I have the answer. So I'll just do two, two steps. So the first step is you have to have the mindset set. Mindset, uh, up. You have to have the shift psychologically. You need to be ready. Your commitment level has to be there before you're going to sustain any change in your lifestyle. So that stage of commitment is really powerful. So once you've done that, you know your why. You know, often I would like you to want your future. How would you like your future self to look like? Or how would I like to be, uh, an active grandmother? Do I want to be successful in my career? You kind of have to have a why y your future why? And you're striving for that. Once that is achieved, the rest is actually quite easy. But it starting in micro steps instead of doing everything all at once. Like you mentioned, it's called a keystone habit. So a keystone habit can be something that triggers another good habit which triggers another habit. So I recommend starting with something sustainable, something that you can start today. And then psychologically you're going to be empowered to add to that keystone so you're not sabotaging the good work. It could start with drinking more water, believe it or not. So if I'm drinking more water, oh, I feel more energetic. Oh, maybe I'll go for a walk because now I feel better. So you're adding the walk. Oh, maybe I should go come back and have something really nutritious. Because I don't want to sabotage, but I have energy and I. You start to crave healthy lifestyle habits. So keystone habit is a psychological behavior, uh, that starts, and that's the best way to start new habits or habit stacking. Like you could read a lot of books and lots of research. So those two keys is make it, make the commitment, work towards your why that's never going to change. And then start with one, um, sustainable habit that you can start today and you will see the shift. It's a psychological shift. And when it happens, you don't even have to work at comes naturally, if you can believe that. Uh, the science is there, the research is there, the proof is there.

Speaker A: Yeah, I really like, um, James Clear's book Atomic Habits that gave a lot of different things in just understanding habits. And, um, one of the things that he talks about that I really appreciated that sounds like what you're saying in terms of the why is what helps to make a habit stick and, uh, stay more consistently long term is when you start to make an identity shift. Right. So when I hear you saying the why, it's like, I want to have the identity of the healthy grandmother who

Speaker B: can be running around.

Speaker A: Um, I want the identity shift of someone who wakes up in the morning and feels energized or wake up in the morning and feels a sense of peace because I, you know, exercise before I went to bed or sleep or whatever those things are. I want to back up for a second because I think what you said there around the why is really important because there's going to be someone who's at that very initial. Like I like what you said around getting to the commitment stage. Right. So they're at the. They want to have the readiness. How do they get to that readiness? Right. So there might be the desires there, but there's a part of them that's like, well, I've always had this desire, but I want this time to be different. So I hear you saying one thing is about like, getting really clear on your why. Are there other things that you might suggest to get them even to that readiness for commitment?

Speaker B: So, uh, there's. There are some options, but the one, it goes back to barriers, it goes back to finding excuses, it goes back to old habits, goes back to priority, and it goes back to those things. So as soon as this is all a mind shift, this is all about shifting the mind. And so you, I want you. I want them to catch themselves thinking or saying, I can't, because I want them to. I want you to catch yourself every single time. I can't. Because. What is it? I can't do that today. Because. And then write that because down. Stop and think about it and going, why am I using that as an excuse? And instead of identifying the barrier and then find a solution. That's what my book is all about. Noticing the barrier you are creating in your mind and then find a solution around it. And the more often you do it, the more often you're going to catch yourself, the more often you're going to solve that barrier. You're going to push that barrier aside. And it's. The hardest thing is creating momentum. It's like a tire. It's like pushing a tire. You got to push. But once the tire starts to move, it starts to develop momentum. So it's the first hardest step. Kristen. And it comes with the, the mind shift. And you have to put in the work. This is not easy. Mhm. But you have to, you have to want it so bad that you are willing to change your mind. Change the mind shift. Not everybody, not everybody's going to be successful. And I, and I, I'm sure we both want to have everyone to be successful. I have people I've been working with for years who still are struggling.

Speaker A: Yeah.

Speaker B: And some folks just haven't gotten there yet. I don't know. I'm still trying to figure out what's their barrier, how come they aren't able to sustain it. Why do they keep falling back to those old habits?

Speaker A: Right.

Speaker B: Um. Some people are just harder to switch than others. But there's. It's. It's possible. Is what.

Speaker A: Yeah.

Speaker B: We have to keep the hope alive that it is possible for everybody.

Speaker A: And it could just be at that moment. Like the next time might be the time that it sticks. Like to be able.

Speaker B: Exactly.

Speaker A: And I do want anyone who's listening too. Um, I, I just want to acknowledge as someone who's, you know, had a healthy lifestyle for, you know, over 20 years as well. Um, there's still going to be. It doesn't. You don't get to this place that sometimes you don't feel like going to the gym. Like, I just want to acknowledge there are times where I just say to myself, I really don't feel like going today. And then I will catch myself in that. And sometimes I just don't make it to the gym. And that's okay. I'm a human and I'm not going to bash myself around that. But I also recognize tomorrow's a new day and then I can go back tomorrow. I'm not going to all of a sudden say, oh, well, since I didn't go yesterday, there's just no point in going any anytime ever again. Because sometimes we can get into very binary thinking and very black and white thinking. Um, so I want to acknowledge, as someone who has done this for a long time, there's also times where you might reach a plateau and you start to get bored with what you've been doing for so long and you need to shake things up and you need to get creative. And sometimes you start to notice new things that you didn't even know exist. Like, I, you know, I've got friends and clients who all of a sudden found pickleball. And that's been such a fun form of exercise because they're also getting community in it, or they start to realize that it's more fun when they do it with their partner or they get to have an accountability buddy. And so I also want to acknowledge that as we evolve, um, that version of how we might want to exercise or get healthy or getting our movement in might also shift as well. And even just a of piece, depending on your age. Right. As going through it, when we'll talk a little bit more about menopause, um, there's. If you're at a certain stage, it's going to make perhaps more sense to go and do weights where previously maybe you didn't do weights. So I also, I don't want anyone to feel like, oh, well, there's something wrong with me because I don't want to go sometimes, or I don't feel like getting movement in sometimes. And that is part of it, but it's just noticing that being the observer of that part who's making the different experience excuses, and then noticing, okay, is there a different way that I want to relate to myself in this moment? Is there something that I might need to support myself in being able to make this happen? Is there someone I might need to ask help for in this moment so that I have the opportunity? So I just want to also acknowledge that no matter what, even if you've been having a healthy lifestyle forever, there are still hard moments in it.

Speaker B: And you, you had some really good points in there. And I want to highlight that it's okay to not want to go to the gym. It's okay. And I have those moments when I don't feel like moving my body either. But it's also a signal or, or a symptom of something else that's declining. Why, again, ask ourselves, why do I not feel like going to the gym. I'm not being hard on myself. I'm not punishing myself. I'm being curious. Oh, it's because I haven't slept good for three days. Okay. So I'm going to give myself some grace or oh, you know what, I haven't been eating well or I have this deadline. We will find the reason when we dig deep, but we have to do it with compassion. We can't beat ourselves up, uh, saying, okay, I realize why I'm tired and that's okay. My body's telling me rest, rest, it's okay. We have to take that burden of guilt and you know, self deprecation that this is wrong.

Speaker A: Yeah, yeah.

Speaker B: Because when we love ourselves so much, we can give ourselves permission to rest. But then we also love ourselves so much that we make ourselves a priority. Yes, they can live in the same place.

Speaker A: Exactly, exactly. We don't want this to be about shame and uh, we're going to shame ourselves into doing that's not, that doesn't serve in any way. Okay, let's move to the, the hot topic these days, um, around menopause. Um, I. Hot topic because I think it's so beautiful and a really, really wonderful shift that's happening that there's so much more dialogue and conversation and openness around this subject. And I feel for many women before us who did not have the uh, space or openness that this was being discussed. And a lot of times women felt very alone, like they were the only ones going through this, uh, because it was, there was some stigma around discussing it and people just kept it to themselves. And so I know there's going to be many women who are listening who will be very interested to hear a little bit more around. You know, as, as there's been more research and science and hopefully funding that continues to be put in this area that wasn't for so many, many, many, many years. Um, what are the things that you would like to share with women who are perhaps in perimenopause, they are currently in menopause or in the other stage of menopause. Um, from a well being perspective.

Speaker B: Oh goodness. Opening up Pandora's box. We need to talk about this. So I'll to make it to summarize. So, uh, we're not talking about this for hours, which I'd love to is there's a stigma still around aging and menopause. And as women we need to get over that. Menopause is a natural transition, just like puberty, childbearing, Years. It's just the next transition. And I want women to be empowered and to thrive. And I'm saying this because I'm on the other side of it. I didn't understand menopause. Even as a wellness coach, my body did not. I didn't follow the protocol. And when I actually started to experience menopause symptoms, I was insulted with my body. I'm like, what? But I eat healthy and I, you know, I do yoga. You can't. You can't change this transition. You can't skip it. So it's something we all need to be empowered. We know this is going to happen. So the more education we have, um, we will. We will be better prepared. I wasn't prepared, and that's why I became a menopause coach. And so such a large advocate and a huge advocate, because I wasn't even prepared. And then I started reaching out to other women, and nobody seems to have been prepared because of the stigma. The root of the issue is, the stigma is we are aging. Women are not allowed to age. We haven't been given permission to m, have wrinkles, to have gray hair, to stiffen up, to lose, um, lubrication in our skin and even in our vaginas. There's so many things that we have been taught to not talk about. And so women have been suffering in silence. And this is ending now. Our generation, our generation, Kristen. We are done hiding this beautiful, natural transition. And so the end, at the end message of the stigma is this is the, the woman's time to thrive. This is actually the best time of our lives because we have confidence, we've been through stuff, we know stuff we don't care about. Lots of other stuff. Like this is powerful, and we have to get women to that mindset that this is an awesome time of our lives, even when we think it's the worst time.

Speaker A: Yeah. And what. I completely agree with you. I could go off on a whole other tangent around capitalism and how it is designed so often with, um, everyone making women feel like we're not enough and all of the things we should be doing in terms of, you know, it's just going at all these different angles. And of course, as we move into this one, into that stage, uh, there's so many different advertisers and marketers are making women feel around all these things around being lesser than, um, And I'm curious around from, for a woman listening, um, how they can be taking themselves physiologically when it comes to this. There's the mental piece. Right. Recognizing like, yeah, like this is to be celebrated. Um, this is a stage where uh, everyone goes through. And I also think that being able to ask questions in community so that you don't feel alone. What should people be aware of? Taking care of themselves from a physiological perspective.

Speaker B: So this is a huge part of self advocacy. Women have to take charge of their health because obviously no one else will. So we have to take control and we have to advocate, we have to educate ourselves, learn, talk to other women. And if you are not getting the answers from your healthcare practitioner, you need to move on to someone who will. Unfortunately or fortunately, uh, going through menopause does require health care. We need health care. We need hormone replacement therapy or we need access to blood work or supplements. There are things that we need support with. And if you're not getting that, if you're feeling like you're being gaslit or there's nobody out there, they are there. You just have to search for them online. You know, there's lots of nurse practitioners that are supporting hormone, um, uh, expertise. And I don't want women or even men to think that they have to give up or this is the best. Yeah, they're ever going to feel again because women deserve more Men, um, deserve to have healthy women in their lives. But it does, it does take a team. And those folks are out there. So if you have a doctor or you, or you don't have a doctor and you're not getting what you need, they're out there. You just have to look or reach out to the Menopause foundation of Canada, reach out to people that you know are experts in the field and we can help direct you to that care because that's when the journey is going to start to get better.

Speaker A: Yeah, yeah, absolutely. I think that's really important. And I've had many friends who have been in that situation where um, and actually every situation it was a female doctor, ironically, um, that was not giving them the support that they needed. And they just thought, oh, this is the way it is. And they were doing a lot of the advocacy for themselves. And ultimately, ultimately those doctors were just not able to support them in the way they needed to be supported. So they had to look for other resources. And it was life changing. Once they had somebody else who actually understood, who had done their own, um, educating themselves. Because not all doctors, you have to specialize a little bit more to be able to understand, um, this particular, all of these different ways that they could be, um, because there's also not a one size fits all that's right. Every woman's going to look a little bit different. And what are some things to just also let women know so that they don't feel like there's something wrong with them. I remember some different friends where they realized, oh, this is why I'm having so much brain fog. And it made them feel so much better because they're like, I just don't why I keep forgetting things. What are some of those, um, symptoms that can come along with it? Just so that maybe someone will hear this today and realize, oh, not only just in menopause, but the perimenopause, which could be happening five to ten years before that. Right. Some of those signs or things that could be happening where maybe they need to be getting support.

Speaker B: So hot flashes are, is the poster child for menopause. We all know that. Right. And when they come, you know you're having a hot flash, you know, it's the only symptom that is related to menopause. Some medications can create hot flashes, but typically menopause is the main driver. Outside of that, it could get very confusing. It's muddled in a lot of other, um, challenges or other illnesses. It could be a symptom of a lot of things, but quite often it's a symptom of perimenopause. And brain fog is probably the most common concern for women in my practice. They don't come to me because they're gaining weight or they're having hot flashes. They come to me because they're scared about the brain fog or the cognitive decline. And estrogen is responsible for every cell of our body, which includes our cognitive health. Yeah. Um, so it's a journey, but it doesn't mean you're broken or you're developing Alzheimer's. There could be risks there, but the more you know, the more you can be prepared. And so I experience brain fog quite often and I lose my words. And I've just learned to own. I'm 58 and I'm just learning to just own it. Mhm. Because I know it's normal. I know it's something I am aware of. I have strategies to support it. And I also know there isn't a magic pill to get rid of something like brain fog. You can improve it, but unfortunately it's going to, it's going to be there, it's going to be lingering. So we're going to have to learn how to live with it. So I'm just owning up to it. So when I can't think of A word or I've lost my memory. Like, I m. Can't think of that word. And I don't care if you don't, uh, want to help me find that word. I'll be here waiting. Wait for me while I think of

Speaker A: the word or fill in the blank

Speaker B: for me, I'm okay with that. Yeah, but it, but when it first started to happen, I was afraid to admit it and I speak for a living and I'm like, what happens if I, if I lose my train of thought? Like, so I, I found ways to cover it up, usually with a joke or a laugh or something.

Speaker A: Mhm.

Speaker B: Now I realize just, we just need to own it up. And I know there's going to be women in the audience or women listening going, oh, I'm, I want to give you permission, uh, to have that because we're all doing it, we're just not talking about it.

Speaker A: Exactly.

Speaker B: And the same with every other gazillion symptom of menopause. Many of us are experiencing it, we're just not talking about it. So let's talk about it. Let's be okay. Let's bring a sisterhood together. Even bring in the men in our lives. Let them know I am not losing any, uh, intelligence here. My IQ is not declining. This is just a transition. And this is one of the impacts for me. Finish my sentence for me if you want. Like, you have to, you have to find out what's your strategy going to be.

Speaker A: Yeah, I think that's so good what you said there. I'm such a believer as, you know, around community and creating that supportive environment where we're all just sharing so that we feel less alone. And I've actually seen a lot of women sharing with men and them being very helpful resources in that way. Like they've actually said, like a woman might be saying something like, oh, actually my wife had been saying how this thing, she tried this.

Speaker B: Right.

Speaker A: So men can be really good at being able to be supportive not just for their significant others, but the community. Right. So, you know, also men also have sisters and cousins and colleagues and friends and all of that that are going through these experiences. And um, I'm always such a big believer that men are allies in all of this. I find in some of these discussions it's so much like, oh, you know, men don't know what it's like. And all of the, and I explain a lot to people around feminism. Feminism isn't about making it men against women. It's actually men and women working very Effectively together, um, around an allyship. Okay, let's shift over to the org from an organizational perspective. There's going to be some CEOs, uh, leaders, executives, HR leaders listening right now and they're saying yes, all of this stuff's very important and how can we as an organization be more conscious around supporting well being, you know, in some of those different avenues might look like women going through menopause. Um, what would you suggest to them? What would you like to see more of? So I'm going to give you a magic wand to use that magic wand. What do you want to see more of happening in organizations?

Speaker B: It goes back to making it a priority.

Speaker A: Mhm.

Speaker B: The business case for healthy employees is clear. Ten years ago when I started working with corporate, actually 15 years working in corporations, there wasn't a lot of data, there wasn't a lot of proof. Business case, money. What's the bottom line? How is this going to impact me? Why should I care about my employees health? Well the business case is there, the proof is there. Covid has really heightened that uh, for us as well. So organizations need to understand that it is partly their responsibility, not completely, but partly their responsibility to encourage a healthy culture and they can have a huge impact which is going to bring back the best return on investment when it comes to productivity and low turnover of their people. So companies need to look, take a, take a wider view of the value investing in their employees. Health. Health. M When budgets tighten, guess what goes first. M Employee wellness. They're not seeing, they're being short sightedness, they're not seeing the long term value of having people healthy. They're not leaving the company, they're staying. They're being productive, they're happy, they're healthy, everything improves. But the budget says something different and we panic. Oh, I can't spend money my employees because I need to do something else.

Speaker A: Yeah.

Speaker B: So that's the biggest uh, hurdle, biggest barrier. But once that shifts again, they're going to see a better return on their investment over time.

Speaker A: Mhm. And when you think about organizations that are investing and prioritizing, what are some of the things that you're seeing in organizations that are doing this well, where are they investing?

Speaker B: So they're allowing their staff to be healthy.

Speaker A: Mhm.

Speaker B: Giving them permission to be healthy. And it sounds ridiculous but when I used to work in the corporate world, I used to take time to go for walks, take breaks, take my lunch hour. I kept getting reprimanded for that. Like who are like how is that productive? I used to get in trouble for taking breaks, taking walks. Well, okay, I'll sit at my desk and just stare at the computer and not do anything if that's what you want. So when employees start to give, employers start to give their employees permission to be healthy, permission to step away from their desk, permission to um, have healthy food in the fridge, or when they say, I support your two weeks holidays, let them have those two weeks holidays. Um, staff barbecues aren't sustainable. They're a band aid solution. Retreats even can be a band aid solution. It has to be consistent year round. Demonstration that I care about your health and I'm going to follow through by allowing you to take those breaks, allowing you to, um, you know, have healthy snacks in the, uh, the lunchroom. It's not complicated. Again, the culture has to stay positive, allowing employees to laugh. I used to get in trouble for laughing in the office, you know, having really rich conversations in the lunchroom about menopause. Like there's so many easy steps a company can take to improve the culture that they will see the staff giving back. Staff will give back when they feel, um, respected and heard and cared for.

Speaker A: Mhm, mhm. Yeah. So I talk a lot about, it's interesting. I almost hear a lot of my work around emotional intelligence and conscious leadership is creating an environment where leaders are living and breathing those values and of course the behaviors that are associated with those values in the environment that goes around. What I hear you saying is if we have organizations that have those conscious, well rounded, emotionally intelligent leaders, they're going to naturally create a space that supports every individual in doing what they need to do. Their version of staying healthy. It was funny when you were talking. I've been around organizations that were like that as well and were punitive when you were doing things such as going for walks. Ironically, it was okay for the smokers to go for 15 minutes smoke rate, which is actually not helping your health. But the ones who are doing something that is, that is encouraging, um, a more healthy lifestyle. So I hear it being almost to the discretion of the leaders who have people reporting into them. They are creating environments that supports if they want to be going for walks, if they are taking their vacations, if they do need to take some time off of work for appointments or things to deal with, uh, support around menopause that is making them have their, their, their wellness prioritized. I've seen organizations when they've done a lot of things around, they might have tools when it comes to mental health, they might have sessions that Talk about mental health. And they might have access to yoga, they might have um, they might be reimbursing um, gym memberships or things like that, which I do think there's value in that because you're now saying we care about this like the dollars, the money you're showing, where you're investing the money, you're literally saying yes, we will support that in providing reimbursement for that. So I, I do think that's setting a signal as well. Um, but I, I like what you said as well. You said they have a part in being responsible for the well being because ultimately they can create an environment that encourages it. But on the individual level that person also needs to take responsibility that they're the um, other thing that I want to address and name because I know there's going to be people listening right now that are going to express this. Where organizations will say oh yes, we really promote everybody going on vacations. And yet the organization is, individuals in the organization are so under resourced.

Speaker B: Mhm.

Speaker A: That person doesn't even want to go on vacation because the stress of being off for a week or two weeks and what they're going to come back to. Sometimes I hear people say oh no, it's just fine, it's fine, you just unplug, you just unplug and do nothing. But it's actually not realistic and I think it's unfair for those individuals where they're hearing that, they're like that's not very realistic for me because when I leave and come back now I have backlog two weeks of work on top of my current every day. So it's not worth it for me to be able to. So I also want to zoom out for a second going back to what you said around the culture. The culture has to support the individual going on vacation. You don't just say we support you going on vacation. But there aren't resources so that that person comes back and they have a backlog of two weeks. That's not giving them the opportunity to really go and rest because then nothing has happened while they were gone. Right. I think you have to be very conscious and I just want to intentionally name that because I know that's a real barrier for many people and organizations where they are cutting costs to such a detriment to the individuals.

Speaker B: And they're also um, encouraging folks to answer their emails when they're on vacation. And I run into a lot of people going well I might as well answer them now so that I don't have A backlog when I get back.

Speaker A: Yeah.

Speaker B: So they're diluting their time away.

Speaker A: Right.

Speaker B: It's a cyclical issue we have to address.

Speaker A: Yes, yes. Um, I think this is such a really, really important conversation, Lisa. And I'll definitely make sure to include more in the show notes so people can learn more. I'm assuming you probably maybe have some resources on some of these topics on your website and people can check out your podcast as well. I want to give you an opportunity to leave a final thought, whatever is with you and feels most front and center, as a final thought for today's conversation.

Speaker B: It's always the same thing, Kristen. We need to give ourselves permission to make ourselves a priority. M. Nothing else matters. M. Nothing else matters. I thought maybe my methodology or my tagline or, um, my book would be run out of steam or not be valid anymore, but it's never going to change. It never changes. This is the foundation of how we are going to have sustainable, healthy lifestyles. I. I'm about to be a grandmother in a couple months. I can't wait to be that active grandmother. I'm watch. I'm, um, visualizing playing with that child, being able to run next to her and sit on the floor and build things and take her swimming. I am visualizing. And my son, who's going to be the new father, is looking forward to watching that as well. He's already told me he can't wait to see me as a grandmother and being active and loving and available emotionally. So nothing else is going to come to fruition until you make yourself a priority.

Speaker A: Yeah. Yeah. Beautiful. Um, thank you so much for being here today. Hi.

Speaker B: You're so welcome.

Speaker A: Uh, where can people learn more about you and the work that you're doing?

Speaker B: I'm everywhere. So my company is called New Day Wellness. So you just type in newday Wellness. Uh, ca. You'll find me there. I'm the wellness lady on Instagram, Lisa Lounsbury. You'll find me. I'm everywhere.

Speaker A: Nice. We'll also include that in the show notes. And for everyone who's listened today and this episode has resonated with you, make sure to share this with others. Let them know about the podcast. And for anyone who is interested in learning more about working with me, you can learn more@kristen harcourt.com I do a lot of executive coaching, one on one coaching, leadership development training, and transformative keynotes on conscious leadership, emotionally intelligent leadership, and human workplaces wherever you are in the world and you're tuning in today. Good morning. Good afternoon. Good evening. Sending tons of love. Bye. Bye.