How to Prove You’re Worth a Referral to Someone’s Best Client | 958

Prove to me that you're someone that I should do business with. Prove to me that you are worthy of a referral to my best client. My name is Dave Lorenzo. This is the Inside BS Show for the 8th of January, 2026.

And I am in Chicago today. And if you're watching this on Instagram, you see the kind of the funky chair that I'm sitting in. I'm in my hotel room, and this is the best angle that I could get with decent lighting and no bed in the background. And I'm in Chicago for three important reasons.

Number one, I have client work to do here. Number two, I have a whole host of business development work to do here. And number three, there is some research that I'm doing for my upcoming book while I'm here. And in front of all three of these groups of people, clients, prospects, and then referral partners or research subjects for the book, I guess that's technically four different audiences, across all four of those audiences, I want to demonstrate that I am a serious business person.

How do I do that? Well, Dan Sullivan, the founder of Strategic Coach, has some really good referability habits that he uses. And that's a great place to start. Dan says, show up on time, do what you say you're going to do, be polite, say please and thank you.

And I've added a fourth to that, and that is don't gossip, you know, don't talk shit about other people. Those three referability habits and the fourth one that I added are fantastic. And I think that's a good start. But I need to go even further and share a couple of other things with you.

And these really are the basics. So if these resonate with you, good. You need to change these things immediately because it's career limiting and business limiting behavior. Dan says, show up on time.

I'll tell you that showing up at the exact time you're supposed to be somewhere isn't good enough for me. I want you to be there 15 minutes early. I learned this when I was in the hospitality industry, because if you're going to an event in the hospitality industry and the room isn't ready 15 minutes in advance, it's a big problem because the contact for the group always arrives early to check the room. So you always get your function rooms for a banquet ready 15 minutes in advance so the room can be inspected by the contact, the person who's paying the bill.

It was reaffirmed to me when I was working with a private investigator. I was helping this person build their business. And they're a former CIA case officer. And they said in the CIA, on time is 15 minutes early because if you're late, somebody may die.

That's the consequences. Nobody in the business world hopefully will die if you're late. But being late is a sign that you don't have self-control. So arriving on time is critical.

Full stop. If the invitation to be somewhere says be there between 6 and 6.30, you get there definitely before 6. Be the first one there.

It's unacceptable to be late. The second thing that demonstrates that you're a serious person is the amount that you talk and the things that you say when you talk. If you want to be taken seriously, say less, ask questions, and only make statements when they're going to have an impact. And do not ever say anything that is unkind, unhelpful, or unsolicited.

I'm going to say those three things again because it's so important. In a group setting, do not say anything that is unkind, unhelpful, or unsolicited. Don't give advice unless somebody asks. Don't be mean ever.

There's no reason. If somebody insults you, simply say, I'm sorry, can you say that again? And make them look stupid in front of the group a second time. And when you ask them to say it again, you give them a chance to hear themselves saying the stupidity that they spewed a second time.

And you give them a chance to diffuse the emotion, and they could potentially apologize. So never say anything unkind. Never give unsolicited advice. And if you have to speak, the third rule is ask a question that will help you understand that person better, that will help you understand that person's point of view better.

This is critically important, even if and especially if you don't agree with the person. The question that I love to ask is, help me understand, share with me, how you came up with these beliefs. Or, I find your beliefs fascinating. Help me understand how you came up with these beliefs.

Or, help me understand how you came up with this point of view. Or, can you share how you came up with this point of view? The final tip that I will give you for demonstrating that you are a person who should be taken seriously is your follow-up. These days, in a business setting, connecting with someone on LinkedIn is a perfect follow-up method.

I do three things after I meet someone. I connect with them on LinkedIn. I send them an email telling them it was great to meet them and thanking them for the meeting. And then I will send them a handwritten note.

That follow-up is professional and it is focused and it will separate you from everyone else who does what you do. If you want to be taken seriously, if you want people to think you're a serious person, you have to behave seriously. This is some advice that I'm actually using here today and I encourage you to use every day. It will help me take you seriously.

I'll see you back here again tomorrow for another edition of our show. Tomorrow is Friday and we will be with you once again live. Well, actually the next day, but I'll record it live from Chicago, unedited. See you tomorrow.

Thanks for joining me.