Why New Year's Resolutions FAIL & How We Can Be SUCCESSFUL

Welcome to the Elevate Up podcast with your host, your coach, and the Sherpa, Steve C. Hello and welcome back to the Elevate Up podcast. I am your host, Steve C. I'm a leadership coach and trusted advisor, also known as the Sherpa.

Now today is a final episode of the Elevate Up podcast, but good news, and stay tuned for what's to come is I'm actually combining with Leadership Risings podcast with Jim Irvin, my good friend and colleague, who's also a licensed therapist, along with Elevate Up for a podcast called The Sherpa and The Shrink. So stay tuned for more on The Sherpa and The Shrink, which will be launching soon. So think of that of like Elevate Up Season 2 and Leadership Season 2 combined. Now, what is a Sherpa?

A Sherpa is described as a person who guides or supports someone through a challenging process or journey, especially in professional or personal development context. For instance, in leadership or coaching, a Sherpa is someone who helps others navigate complex situations, acting as a mentor, guide, or advisor, using their expertise to make the journey smoother and more achievable. Now, today I want to talk about this idea of New Year's resolutions. Here we are towards the end of January, and I wonder how many people are still on their New Year's resolutions.

You know, statistics show anywhere between 80 and 90% of people drop off by the end of January. And so today, let's look at three reasons why New Year's resolutions fail and what we can do about it. How can we actually be successful? And so there's three points.

And this first one is why New Year's resolutions fail is there's a lack of specificity and clarity. So you're not specific and we're not clear on what we need. Now, looking at resolutions, we have resolutions like getting healthier or saving money, but they lack concrete details. Without a clear definition, they remain dreams rather than an actionable goal.

So here's some insight is the brain craves specificity. It craves that to understand what success looks like. Vague goals create cognitive dissonance and make it harder to stay motivated. So for example, instead of saying, man, I'll exercise more this year, maybe more defined as what I'm going to do, like I'll run three miles.

And then when am I going to run? I'm going to run, say, every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday at 7 a.m. how am I going to track this?

I'm using a running app. Like there's, there's different, there different um different running apps out there My fitness pal is one of them Strava is another one And AllTrails is another one amongst others that you can use So here's a tip also is to use what most of us know as smart goals. But think about, we know it as specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time-bound. But think about the achievable as I believe that I'm at least 50%, that it's 50% achievable.

I believe that and that it's at least 50% realistic or relatable to what I even want. Remember, belief is everything. And if I can't see myself getting there, then I'm less likely to get there. One way to put your specific and clear goals in front of you is on what I call a vision board.

I recently mentioned on the power of having a vision board and looking at our goals, our intentions, our way of being every day, having them right in front of me to remind me of who I am, whose I am, what I'm placing as the highest value, the highest priorities in my life. You can have pictures, mantras, scripture verses, different things that remind you of what it is that you're wanting to be resolute about this year. Notice, and also with that, not just focusing on goals. We tend to focus on goals too much, but focusing on identity instead of focus on what we want to achieve, focusing on who you want to be.

So who do I want to be? So an example, instead of I want to run a marathon, sounds nice. Maybe more of I am a disciplined, healthy person who enjoys running. So the insight from this is identity-based goals align my actions with my values.

It makes them way more sustainable. The second point, we tend to have this all or nothing mindset. You know, people often aim for perfection. Me too.

The moment that we slip, missing a workout or indulging in a treat, you know, we tend to feel like we failed completely and then we just give up. So an insight from this is this mindset triggers shame and discouragement. You know, studies from neuroscience show that self-compassion, not criticism, is key to resilience and sustained effort. For example, instead of saying, I'll never eat sugar again, or then I want to shift it to, I'll limit desserts to weekends.

In my case, I love pizza and ice cream on Friday nights. Notice emphasizing progress over perfection. Missing one day doesn't erase your progress. It's just part of the journey.

James Clear wrote an amazing book called Atomic Habits and this idea of 1% better, I will decide to take one step forward today and that it Tomorrow I will wake up and take one step yet again The power of tiny habits over time creates massive results in the long term So think about set smaller manageable milestones Break big goals into smaller bite-sized steps. Almost laughable to where you go, I could easily do that. That's the purpose. But it builds momentum.

So for example, instead of aiming to lose, I like to say the word release. Release 50 pounds. or 10 pounds, or 1 pound, start with losing a few pounds in the first month, maybe 1 pound. So here, the tip is to celebrate the small wins, recognizing progress keeps us motivated for the long haul.

The third point that I want to make why New Year's resolutions fail is because we have no system for follow-through. Think about resolutions often rely on willpower, which is a finite resource without a clear system life's distractions derail even the best intentions so think about habits are formed when behaviors are repeated in a consistent context so systems notice not motivation creates lasting change there's a good book written by psychologist benjamin hardy called willpower doesn't work great book i encourage you to read that it really talks about our willpower and motivation wane from day to day.

It's not reliable. Instead of having a system or a process set up for what, when, where, and how we do it. So for that example that we mentioned earlier on the first point on specific and having clear measurable goals, really getting clear on, here's an example, I will blank, fill in the behavior at blank time in blank location. right so I will I will do whatever that thing is whether it's exercise whether it's a habit whether it's a routine at time if I can be more specific on what I'm doing when I'm doing and where I'm doing I'm more likely to succeed James Clear even would say from studies that we can be as much as 90 percent 90 wouldn't that be awesome to go hey you know instead of giving up by the end of January I can be 90 percent sure if I have a system in place I might actually get where I want to be.

And this also eliminates decision-making fatigue. What am I going to do? How am I going to do it? Where do I fit that in the calendar?

Trying to find time. Notice, does that sound familiar? So along with this system is accountability and reflection. It's one of the reasons why I have a coach and I am a coach, but we share our goals with someone who will hold us accountable.

A friend, a coach, a counselor, a pastor, a support group, our spouse, sometimes our children. We wanna schedule regular check to reflect on our progress adjust strategies and stay on track So the insight from this is reflection helps reinforce positive behaviors and keeps us aligned with our why Our why, that's important to remember why are we doing what we're doing anyway. We could also use habit stacking. Think of a new habit and adding that to an existing one.

For example, meditating for five minutes after brushing my teeth. right? Environmentally designing as well, setting up my surroundings for success, like the vision board, like different, um, different pictures, different mantras, different things that help me feel like this is my creative space in my office, right? Maybe if you want to read more, keeping a book on your nightstand instead of on your phone or in the bathroom.

So you can easily pick it up instead of glancing at social media. So here are some closing actionable takeaways. My surface challenge for you is identify one goal for this year. Write it down as a smart goal.

Make sure you know it's 50% that you believe it's achievable and it's 50% relatable to what you actually want. And then what's your next step you're going to take today? Your next right action. Then the Sherpa's reflection from today is this.

Ask yourself, who do I want to become this year? What kind of person do I want to be? And what small daily actions will help me get there? So final thought for today is resolutions.

Notice resolutions don't fail because people are lazy. They fail because they lack the right approach. Focus on clarity, consistency, and identity to create lasting, meaningful change. So I would love actually from today if you could share your goals or resolutions with me.

Please tag me on social media and tell me one action you're taking to make it happen. And also, please subscribe to the Sherpas Playbook on YouTube for more tools, insights, and inspiration. to climb your personal and professional mountain. Thank you for listening to this episode on the Elevated Podcast and how to be resolute with making a decision day by day, tiny steps towards who and what you want to be.

If you'd like to learn more about how we can work together and begin actually creating a plan for you to get the results that you want this year and personally, professionally, and relationally, book a free discovery call with me at coachstevec.com. That's S-T-E-V-S-E-A-Y. And I can't wait to connect with you.

Stay tuned for more information on the new The Sherpa and The Shrink podcast coming out soon. This is your Sherpa. Can't wait to see you soon. Happy trails.