Can Authenticity Drive Workplace Culture? Insights from Sunny Myers

1 00:00:01,600 --> 00:00:04,500 welcome to ask Ashley the podcast 2 00:00:04,500 --> 00:00:07,066 where we shine a light on the unsung heroes 3 00:00:07,066 --> 00:00:09,566 of the workplace I'm your host 4 00:00:09,566 --> 00:00:12,633 Ashley Russo financial AI board member 5 00:00:12,633 --> 00:00:15,200 thought leader and wealth management advisor 6 00:00:15,466 --> 00:00:18,400 each week we sit down with inspiring leaders 7 00:00:18,400 --> 00:00:20,000 exploring their journeys 8 00:00:20,066 --> 00:00:23,500 motivations and the real challenges they face 9 00:00:23,566 --> 00:00:27,266 from job insecurity to the evolving role of AI 10 00:00:27,266 --> 00:00:30,000 in a world where many feel overlooked 11 00:00:30,000 --> 00:00:30,900 these guests 12 00:00:30,900 --> 00:00:34,000 are building hope and connection for their colleagues 13 00:00:34,000 --> 00:00:36,466 join us as we uncover their stories 14 00:00:36,500 --> 00:00:38,633 and discover how they're making a difference 15 00:00:38,633 --> 00:00:41,333 one conversation at a time 16 00:00:43,066 --> 00:00:44,500 hello everybody 17 00:00:44,566 --> 00:00:48,200 I am sitting here with the incredible sunny 18 00:00:48,200 --> 00:00:51,033 I think everyone is gonna enjoy hearing from her 19 00:00:51,033 --> 00:00:54,966 her unique perspective her view on the world and life 20 00:00:54,966 --> 00:00:57,433 sunny would you introduce yourself to everyone 21 00:00:57,433 --> 00:00:58,600 awesome hey Ashley 22 00:00:58,600 --> 00:01:01,466 thank you thank you so much for having me 23 00:01:01,633 --> 00:01:04,600 my name is Sunny Myers my pronouns are she her 24 00:01:04,766 --> 00:01:07,400 I'm a proud member of the Lumbee and Saponi tribes 25 00:01:07,400 --> 00:01:09,000 of North Carolina I 26 00:01:09,000 --> 00:01:11,433 I currently reside in Raleigh Durham area 27 00:01:11,433 --> 00:01:13,766 North Carolina of the original um 28 00:01:13,766 --> 00:01:17,466 unceded territory of the TESCORA in Indian 29 00:01:17,466 --> 00:01:21,000 I am a mama bear of 4 adoptive kiddos 30 00:01:21,000 --> 00:01:24,033 a partner to Isaac um 31 00:01:24,033 --> 00:01:25,566 for my day job 32 00:01:25,566 --> 00:01:28,666 I am a senior manager for employee experience 33 00:01:28,666 --> 00:01:29,766 belong being um 34 00:01:29,766 --> 00:01:30,800 at fastly 35 00:01:30,800 --> 00:01:33,666 and really my heart work is as a community builder 36 00:01:33,666 --> 00:01:37,366 so I'm a founder and lead the strategy for the Auntie 37 00:01:37,366 --> 00:01:38,700 Tech Collective um 38 00:01:38,700 --> 00:01:41,600 which is um a space for indigenous women 39 00:01:41,600 --> 00:01:45,000 two spirit non binary and girls um 40 00:01:45,200 --> 00:01:46,966 in technology specifically 41 00:01:47,233 --> 00:01:49,400 as well as another other community work 42 00:01:49,400 --> 00:01:51,633 I'm just very thankful to be able to do that 43 00:01:51,633 --> 00:01:53,100 and be supported to do that 44 00:01:53,100 --> 00:01:54,800 and I'm a fried bread lover 45 00:01:54,800 --> 00:01:57,800 I love some really really good earrings um 46 00:01:57,800 --> 00:02:00,100 I am actually an engineer by trade 47 00:02:00,100 --> 00:02:02,833 so I'm total a nerd and a data geek 48 00:02:02,833 --> 00:02:04,066 so that comes up often 49 00:02:04,066 --> 00:02:06,066 where people are kind of caught off guard 50 00:02:06,066 --> 00:02:08,666 I have way more street cred in the engineering side 51 00:02:08,666 --> 00:02:11,133 and technical side than I do on the 52 00:02:11,233 --> 00:02:13,333 a dark side of human resources 53 00:02:13,566 --> 00:02:16,200 but it's kind of it sneaks up every now and then 54 00:02:16,266 --> 00:02:18,766 which is the way that my brain thinks 55 00:02:18,800 --> 00:02:21,266 which I do think is a unique superpower now 56 00:02:21,266 --> 00:02:23,833 and I do love a good sneaker collection 57 00:02:23,833 --> 00:02:27,700 I have a number I won't even name of sneakers but yeah 58 00:02:27,700 --> 00:02:30,866 they bring me joy and so between those are my earrings 59 00:02:30,866 --> 00:02:33,100 that's kind of advice so you can just tell 60 00:02:33,100 --> 00:02:34,566 we're gonna have so much fun today 61 00:02:34,566 --> 00:02:36,300 and for those who can't see 62 00:02:36,300 --> 00:02:38,433 obviously the earrings are fabulous 63 00:02:38,433 --> 00:02:40,200 they're pink they're gold 64 00:02:40,200 --> 00:02:44,400 they're long they're actually horse here so wow 65 00:02:44,400 --> 00:02:45,766 fabulous yeah fabulous 66 00:02:45,766 --> 00:02:48,566 well you have a unique path obviously 67 00:02:48,566 --> 00:02:51,666 moving from a highly technical role as an engineer 68 00:02:51,833 --> 00:02:53,800 to people focused so 69 00:02:53,800 --> 00:02:54,866 can you walk us through 70 00:02:54,866 --> 00:02:57,400 what motivated that type of transition 71 00:02:57,400 --> 00:02:59,233 and what are some of the key turning points 72 00:02:59,233 --> 00:03:01,000 that defined that move 73 00:03:01,000 --> 00:03:02,466 your career oh yeah 74 00:03:02,466 --> 00:03:05,300 if you would have asked me you know 15 years ago 75 00:03:05,300 --> 00:03:08,366 would I be on the human resources side 76 00:03:08,366 --> 00:03:09,866 I would say absolutely not 77 00:03:09,866 --> 00:03:13,833 I didn't even know what a path into HR was you know 78 00:03:13,833 --> 00:03:15,800 I have always been a math nerd 79 00:03:15,800 --> 00:03:17,500 I hate actually reading 80 00:03:17,500 --> 00:03:21,000 and so I just like to be in the numbers and to 81 00:03:21,066 --> 00:03:23,433 to kind of have my brain just process things 82 00:03:23,433 --> 00:03:24,466 and to build things 83 00:03:24,466 --> 00:03:27,200 and so just knowing that I was always 84 00:03:27,200 --> 00:03:28,866 had always have been in stem 85 00:03:28,866 --> 00:03:31,100 I also I actually thought I was gonna go to school 86 00:03:31,100 --> 00:03:33,766 or I did go to school for forensic science um 87 00:03:33,766 --> 00:03:36,500 and then through a chemistry minor I was like 88 00:03:36,500 --> 00:03:38,166 I actually hate this um 89 00:03:38,166 --> 00:03:41,100 and so I went to my advisor who um 90 00:03:41,366 --> 00:03:42,600 LED me into engineering 91 00:03:42,600 --> 00:03:44,033 and we were looking at engineering 92 00:03:44,033 --> 00:03:45,600 I looked at the salaries 93 00:03:45,833 --> 00:03:47,666 electrical engineering paid really well and I was like 94 00:03:47,666 --> 00:03:49,400 I'll go do that and so 95 00:03:49,466 --> 00:03:50,033 little did I know 96 00:03:50,033 --> 00:03:52,466 that was one of the hardest engineering degrees to get 97 00:03:52,466 --> 00:03:53,566 which is not the most 98 00:03:53,566 --> 00:03:56,066 especially for the least amount of women in that space 99 00:03:56,066 --> 00:03:57,300 especially women of color 100 00:03:57,300 --> 00:03:59,866 but some crazy thing with these things 101 00:03:59,866 --> 00:04:01,266 you couldn't see 102 00:04:01,266 --> 00:04:04,300 I was able to understand and articulate um 103 00:04:04,300 --> 00:04:06,933 I think through my mouth foundations 104 00:04:07,066 --> 00:04:10,400 and so I graduated with an engineering degree 105 00:04:10,400 --> 00:04:13,000 and then went shortly after straight into industry 106 00:04:13,000 --> 00:04:16,866 I was working for the dot in North Carolina as um 107 00:04:16,866 --> 00:04:19,700 fiber um optics designer engineer 108 00:04:19,700 --> 00:04:23,600 then I moved into building design and the m E P side 109 00:04:23,633 --> 00:04:28,000 and then I went to lighting and kind of a start up in 110 00:04:28,000 --> 00:04:29,933 in a large organization 111 00:04:30,033 --> 00:04:33,400 and then I was tapped to ask to build the first uh 112 00:04:33,800 --> 00:04:37,666 8 inch semiconductor factory or fab in North America 113 00:04:37,666 --> 00:04:38,466 and so 114 00:04:38,466 --> 00:04:41,100 I didn't really remember much about some conductors 115 00:04:41,100 --> 00:04:42,866 except what I Learned in school 116 00:04:42,866 --> 00:04:45,300 which was a while ago from then 117 00:04:45,300 --> 00:04:48,600 and I said yes so I kept saying yes to those things 118 00:04:48,600 --> 00:04:51,766 and when I was doing that work at Wolfspeed 119 00:04:51,766 --> 00:04:55,200 I was also doing a lot of the front end work of um 120 00:04:56,000 --> 00:04:58,800 recruiting for our early talent pipeline 121 00:04:58,800 --> 00:05:01,833 I wanted to look around and see more folks like myself 122 00:05:01,833 --> 00:05:05,300 because I was the only indigenous woman engineer 123 00:05:05,300 --> 00:05:07,566 one of the only women of color engineers 124 00:05:07,633 --> 00:05:10,300 definitely the only woman period on my team 125 00:05:10,300 --> 00:05:12,966 and I just wanted to leave it better than I found it 126 00:05:13,000 --> 00:05:15,766 heavily involved with starting and sustaining 127 00:05:15,766 --> 00:05:17,033 our employee resource groups 128 00:05:17,033 --> 00:05:18,833 which were not a really big 129 00:05:18,833 --> 00:05:20,666 well known thing at the time 130 00:05:20,766 --> 00:05:22,233 um and then just really 131 00:05:22,233 --> 00:05:23,866 trying to change the workforce for 132 00:05:23,866 --> 00:05:25,233 for the better so that like 133 00:05:25,233 --> 00:05:26,900 you know I could have a better experience 134 00:05:26,900 --> 00:05:28,766 but others who came after me 135 00:05:28,766 --> 00:05:31,200 I could as well and using my voice and advocacy 136 00:05:31,200 --> 00:05:33,666 my also having really great sponsors 137 00:05:33,666 --> 00:05:36,000 and executive leadership who believed in me 138 00:05:36,000 --> 00:05:37,366 and so I really started 139 00:05:37,366 --> 00:05:39,200 kind of doing this work on the back end 140 00:05:39,200 --> 00:05:40,433 that didn't really have a 141 00:05:40,433 --> 00:05:43,400 title for this work and somewhere along the line 142 00:05:43,400 --> 00:05:45,166 Amazon saw me doing this work and said 143 00:05:45,166 --> 00:05:46,933 come do this for us full time 144 00:05:47,166 --> 00:05:48,800 and I almost crap my pants 145 00:05:48,800 --> 00:05:51,966 because I was so scared to leave a technical role 146 00:05:51,966 --> 00:05:53,400 in this really cool project 147 00:05:53,400 --> 00:05:54,800 and my manager was just like 148 00:05:54,800 --> 00:05:56,433 you can always come back to this space 149 00:05:56,433 --> 00:05:58,600 I will hire you immediately 150 00:05:59,300 --> 00:06:00,800 and he was the CEO at the time 151 00:06:00,800 --> 00:06:01,066 he was like 152 00:06:01,066 --> 00:06:04,333 but I cannot think of anybody better to go do this work 153 00:06:04,366 --> 00:06:07,800 than you and so he kind of kicked me out to go do it 154 00:06:07,800 --> 00:06:10,400 and I said yes to Amazon from Amazon 155 00:06:10,400 --> 00:06:12,366 I was at Palato Network doing the 156 00:06:12,366 --> 00:06:13,033 the work 157 00:06:13,033 --> 00:06:17,666 so through 2020 and into the later or early 2020s 158 00:06:17,666 --> 00:06:18,733 and then um 159 00:06:19,366 --> 00:06:21,866 left Palantir Network and uh 160 00:06:22,433 --> 00:06:24,433 had a short stint at a non profit 161 00:06:24,433 --> 00:06:26,600 as their chief operating officer 162 00:06:26,600 --> 00:06:27,866 just to kind of um 163 00:06:27,866 --> 00:06:28,400 internally 164 00:06:28,400 --> 00:06:30,566 clean up some things that they needed support with 165 00:06:30,566 --> 00:06:32,500 and then I knew I wanted to go back into tech 166 00:06:32,500 --> 00:06:34,100 I am a wild woman 167 00:06:34,100 --> 00:06:36,966 I guess to say this is where I want to be 168 00:06:37,000 --> 00:06:41,100 um and so I landed it fastly where I am now 169 00:06:41,100 --> 00:06:42,400 wow wow 170 00:06:42,400 --> 00:06:44,466 that's the journey that's OK 171 00:06:44,466 --> 00:06:45,800 so I have to ask this 172 00:06:45,800 --> 00:06:48,633 especially with what you shared there 173 00:06:48,633 --> 00:06:50,266 what are some of the 174 00:06:50,400 --> 00:06:56,800 experiences or challenges that inform what you do now 175 00:06:56,800 --> 00:06:59,700 in leadership and being an advocate 176 00:06:59,700 --> 00:07:03,166 yeah I think it's about we can do really 177 00:07:03,166 --> 00:07:07,766 hard technical things and we can be human focused 178 00:07:07,766 --> 00:07:10,566 and so I think like a lot of leaders were taught 179 00:07:10,566 --> 00:07:11,866 it's like one or the other 180 00:07:11,866 --> 00:07:14,266 or they were gonna sacrifice their humanity 181 00:07:14,300 --> 00:07:15,966 for their technical drive 182 00:07:15,966 --> 00:07:17,466 or their innovation 183 00:07:17,466 --> 00:07:20,600 and I think it's pivotal to be hand in hand 184 00:07:20,600 --> 00:07:23,500 and lockstep and if you sacrifice one for the other 185 00:07:24,066 --> 00:07:26,466 it's just not in balance and I think like 186 00:07:26,466 --> 00:07:28,100 seeing that standard be met 187 00:07:28,100 --> 00:07:30,033 of some of the best leaders that I've seen 188 00:07:30,033 --> 00:07:32,400 and also see where it wasn't being met 189 00:07:32,400 --> 00:07:33,900 and the you know 190 00:07:33,966 --> 00:07:37,166 they thought they were driving high performance 191 00:07:37,166 --> 00:07:38,666 you know and high powered teams 192 00:07:38,666 --> 00:07:39,900 but they were really 193 00:07:39,966 --> 00:07:41,833 just making people walk out the door 194 00:07:41,833 --> 00:07:42,966 and not want to do the work 195 00:07:42,966 --> 00:07:44,100 and so kind of just 196 00:07:44,100 --> 00:07:46,466 looking at leaders who really got it right 197 00:07:46,466 --> 00:07:50,000 and seeing what their leadership values were 198 00:07:50,033 --> 00:07:51,233 um also 199 00:07:51,233 --> 00:07:55,166 knowing a lot of our experiences were systemic issues 200 00:07:55,166 --> 00:07:58,600 and processes and understanding the data 201 00:07:58,600 --> 00:07:59,466 how do we look at this 202 00:07:59,466 --> 00:08:01,766 you can say that somebody feels this way 203 00:08:01,766 --> 00:08:03,200 which is really qualitative 204 00:08:03,200 --> 00:08:05,066 but when you look at the numbers around that 205 00:08:05,066 --> 00:08:06,966 when you look at the statistics around 206 00:08:06,966 --> 00:08:09,000 under representation in these areas 207 00:08:09,000 --> 00:08:11,133 like they're the data doesn't lie 208 00:08:11,300 --> 00:08:11,633 and so 209 00:08:11,633 --> 00:08:15,100 looking at the intersectionality of qualitative data 210 00:08:15,100 --> 00:08:17,366 with quantitative data I said if you can 211 00:08:17,366 --> 00:08:20,266 if you can spot check where that that both align 212 00:08:20,266 --> 00:08:22,666 that's where your core problems are 213 00:08:22,700 --> 00:08:26,266 and so just understanding where to really triple click 214 00:08:26,266 --> 00:08:27,866 down was really helpful 215 00:08:27,866 --> 00:08:29,300 because I wouldn't just show up and say 216 00:08:29,300 --> 00:08:30,800 I feel like we should do this 217 00:08:30,800 --> 00:08:32,300 or I think I'm hearing this 218 00:08:32,300 --> 00:08:34,700 it was really like here's what the data says 219 00:08:34,700 --> 00:08:37,200 here's what the people are saying and the like the 220 00:08:37,300 --> 00:08:38,633 the backup with the comments 221 00:08:38,633 --> 00:08:42,266 right or the input and then here's where I think um 222 00:08:42,266 --> 00:08:43,866 just very solutions minded 223 00:08:43,866 --> 00:08:46,200 and here's where I think we can go and how 224 00:08:46,200 --> 00:08:46,766 what we could do 225 00:08:46,766 --> 00:08:49,066 and also there wasn't a playbook for all of this right 226 00:08:49,066 --> 00:08:50,400 some of this was trial and error 227 00:08:50,400 --> 00:08:52,400 some of it was piloting you know 228 00:08:52,400 --> 00:08:53,800 you don't always 229 00:08:53,800 --> 00:08:55,700 we didn't know if some things were gonna work 230 00:08:55,700 --> 00:08:57,266 and that's okay I mean 231 00:08:57,300 --> 00:08:59,100 some of the greatest organizations 232 00:08:59,100 --> 00:09:00,466 and inventions that we've seen 233 00:09:00,466 --> 00:09:01,633 they didn't think it was gonna work 234 00:09:01,633 --> 00:09:02,700 they didn't know it was gonna work 235 00:09:02,700 --> 00:09:04,166 and so I just think it was just the 236 00:09:04,166 --> 00:09:07,233 the flexibility and the courage to say that out loud 237 00:09:07,233 --> 00:09:09,833 and then also minimizing your risk 238 00:09:09,833 --> 00:09:11,966 like if it doesn't work how long will it take 239 00:09:11,966 --> 00:09:14,066 when will we know what's our key indicators 240 00:09:14,066 --> 00:09:14,766 ultimately 241 00:09:14,766 --> 00:09:17,900 this work is also just good business practices 242 00:09:17,900 --> 00:09:21,033 everything we do is from a business mindset 243 00:09:21,033 --> 00:09:23,100 and embedded like with the business 244 00:09:23,100 --> 00:09:24,200 but also taking 245 00:09:24,200 --> 00:09:26,466 our business acumen and applying it to this work 246 00:09:26,466 --> 00:09:28,800 and I think you know on the flip side 247 00:09:28,800 --> 00:09:31,400 that's where I think some of this kind of got lost 248 00:09:31,400 --> 00:09:34,466 and I think as we look at the systems 249 00:09:34,466 --> 00:09:35,700 and our approaches 250 00:09:35,700 --> 00:09:39,466 we can be more operational and process driven in that 251 00:09:39,466 --> 00:09:42,666 and that's the sustainability of this work in my belief 252 00:09:42,666 --> 00:09:44,000 for the long term hmm 253 00:09:44,233 --> 00:09:46,666 I think this so this leads me to a 254 00:09:46,666 --> 00:09:50,566 a hot button question with all of that 255 00:09:50,566 --> 00:09:53,666 it sounds like obviously you're using um 256 00:09:53,666 --> 00:09:56,900 the data to help drive decisions 257 00:09:56,900 --> 00:10:00,366 that also have emotion tied to them right 258 00:10:00,433 --> 00:10:03,500 but in a moment like this where 259 00:10:03,566 --> 00:10:04,400 you know 260 00:10:05,266 --> 00:10:07,666 inclusion diversity topics 261 00:10:07,666 --> 00:10:10,700 community building it can be polarizing 262 00:10:10,700 --> 00:10:12,600 it can be politicized right 263 00:10:12,600 --> 00:10:15,100 how do you approach that at fastly 264 00:10:15,100 --> 00:10:16,600 how are you dealing with that 265 00:10:17,300 --> 00:10:18,500 yeah um 266 00:10:18,500 --> 00:10:21,400 one of our leaders always has a term where he's like 267 00:10:21,400 --> 00:10:23,200 keep fastly weird and at first I was like 268 00:10:23,200 --> 00:10:25,933 I don't understand it now I completely understand it 269 00:10:25,966 --> 00:10:29,600 fastly is really quirky in the most beautiful way 270 00:10:29,600 --> 00:10:32,766 um fastlians are loud and proud 271 00:10:32,766 --> 00:10:36,033 and fiercely protective of our organization 272 00:10:36,033 --> 00:10:37,433 but really our culture 273 00:10:37,433 --> 00:10:40,866 it's really hard to describe in kind of one sentence 274 00:10:40,866 --> 00:10:42,066 or a couple sentences 275 00:10:42,600 --> 00:10:44,566 they're really protective of our values 276 00:10:44,566 --> 00:10:47,466 but I also believe that they hold people accountable 277 00:10:47,466 --> 00:10:49,833 even at the highest levels of leadership 278 00:10:49,833 --> 00:10:51,500 accountable to those values 279 00:10:51,566 --> 00:10:55,066 and so I think that that's where you um 280 00:10:55,500 --> 00:10:59,600 where you see that the sustainability of the culture 281 00:10:59,600 --> 00:11:01,266 is when you are pressure tested 282 00:11:01,266 --> 00:11:01,966 and right now 283 00:11:01,966 --> 00:11:04,266 we are being pressure tested more than ever 284 00:11:04,466 --> 00:11:08,300 um our organization has had every opportunity to 285 00:11:08,300 --> 00:11:09,766 to be out of this work to 286 00:11:09,766 --> 00:11:11,366 to not be focused on this work 287 00:11:11,366 --> 00:11:13,266 and I think what's beautiful is 288 00:11:13,266 --> 00:11:16,300 it's where we've actually reinvested in this work 289 00:11:16,300 --> 00:11:18,100 where we've elevated this work 290 00:11:18,100 --> 00:11:19,100 where we said no 291 00:11:19,100 --> 00:11:21,300 we're in we're in this space 292 00:11:21,600 --> 00:11:22,600 I also think you know 293 00:11:22,600 --> 00:11:24,966 the pendulum swinging on you know 294 00:11:24,966 --> 00:11:26,766 one side very far 295 00:11:26,766 --> 00:11:30,133 and it's also swing swung on the other side very far 296 00:11:30,166 --> 00:11:32,566 and so I think now that we're seeing this swing 297 00:11:32,566 --> 00:11:35,566 it ultimately the arc of justice right always 298 00:11:35,566 --> 00:11:36,966 always wins I believe 299 00:11:36,966 --> 00:11:37,800 and so um 300 00:11:37,800 --> 00:11:39,666 I think seeing that you know 301 00:11:39,666 --> 00:11:42,166 at some point we come back around 302 00:11:42,166 --> 00:11:44,700 and seeing the companies that stay true to the word 303 00:11:44,700 --> 00:11:46,500 and stay true to their values'cause 304 00:11:46,500 --> 00:11:49,200 it's not just because our CEO believes 305 00:11:49,200 --> 00:11:51,566 or this or our executive leadership team 306 00:11:51,566 --> 00:11:54,400 it's literally who we are as an organization 307 00:11:54,400 --> 00:11:56,300 and embedded into what we do 308 00:11:56,300 --> 00:11:58,866 does this work look vastly different now 309 00:11:58,866 --> 00:12:00,433 absolutely yes 310 00:12:00,433 --> 00:12:02,766 is the work continuing to move forward 311 00:12:02,766 --> 00:12:03,633 absolutely yes 312 00:12:03,633 --> 00:12:04,766 we've just had to you know 313 00:12:04,766 --> 00:12:06,533 adjust what this looks like 314 00:12:06,633 --> 00:12:08,166 and we've embedded embedded 315 00:12:08,166 --> 00:12:11,566 a lot of this into an overarching employee experience 316 00:12:11,566 --> 00:12:14,100 right it does not based on your identity 317 00:12:14,100 --> 00:12:16,466 it's really based on you know 318 00:12:16,900 --> 00:12:19,000 do you feel like you belong when you come to work 319 00:12:19,000 --> 00:12:20,033 do you feel valued 320 00:12:20,033 --> 00:12:23,166 do you feel you can do your best work in the business 321 00:12:23,166 --> 00:12:25,166 do you feel like you can speak up in a room 322 00:12:25,166 --> 00:12:27,266 even when everybody's saying something opposite 323 00:12:27,266 --> 00:12:29,966 it's like the core values of being 324 00:12:29,966 --> 00:12:33,633 a good human and being a human that we all 325 00:12:33,633 --> 00:12:35,466 you know we all want to work beside 326 00:12:35,466 --> 00:12:38,100 and everybody holding each other accountable to that 327 00:12:38,100 --> 00:12:40,633 because I feel like when you can do that 328 00:12:40,633 --> 00:12:42,633 is when you can come up and thrive 329 00:12:42,633 --> 00:12:46,700 and I think that's where we get the best of of you 330 00:12:47,000 --> 00:12:49,833 which then results in high performing teams 331 00:12:49,833 --> 00:12:52,200 which then results in more 332 00:12:52,200 --> 00:12:54,733 you know organizational innovation 333 00:12:54,966 --> 00:12:57,200 um it's really like the secret sauce is that 334 00:12:57,200 --> 00:12:58,033 is that culture 335 00:12:58,033 --> 00:13:00,800 people want to people wanna be at fastly 336 00:13:00,800 --> 00:13:04,700 we have a long tenure and I just didn't get it at first 337 00:13:04,700 --> 00:13:06,600 I was like I don't understand this 338 00:13:06,600 --> 00:13:10,766 this is weird or these chats are fire people wow 339 00:13:10,766 --> 00:13:13,400 they said that and now I totally get that 340 00:13:13,400 --> 00:13:16,833 they feel empowered and seen to say that 341 00:13:16,833 --> 00:13:19,033 and so it's definitely quirky 342 00:13:19,033 --> 00:13:21,133 but it's it's beautifully quirky 343 00:13:21,233 --> 00:13:23,900 and I honestly wouldn't change anything about it 344 00:13:23,900 --> 00:13:27,400 so I have a question based off that that you seem 345 00:13:27,466 --> 00:13:30,033 you seem dedicated to the culture 346 00:13:30,033 --> 00:13:32,266 and the culture seems dedicated to itself 347 00:13:32,266 --> 00:13:33,400 which is beautiful right 348 00:13:33,400 --> 00:13:35,366 that creates a really good environment 349 00:13:35,400 --> 00:13:39,600 how do you handle the challenges of the environment 350 00:13:39,600 --> 00:13:42,000 that have to come to you that you have to be the 351 00:13:42,000 --> 00:13:43,600 you know the forefront too 352 00:13:43,600 --> 00:13:46,500 to then protect this beautiful culture right 353 00:13:46,500 --> 00:13:48,033 it's not just smooth waters 354 00:13:48,033 --> 00:13:48,666 I imagine 355 00:13:48,666 --> 00:13:52,166 you're likely actively protecting this beautiful space 356 00:13:52,166 --> 00:13:54,200 how do you handle that as a human 357 00:13:54,200 --> 00:13:56,433 how does that affect you personally yeah 358 00:13:56,433 --> 00:13:59,133 I feel like when I was entering this work 359 00:13:59,266 --> 00:14:01,833 I didn't understand the mental load 360 00:14:01,833 --> 00:14:02,366 this work 361 00:14:02,366 --> 00:14:04,800 and the emotional load this work would have on me 362 00:14:04,800 --> 00:14:07,433 I think I was extremely naive to that 363 00:14:07,433 --> 00:14:07,966 in fact 364 00:14:07,966 --> 00:14:10,633 coming from a technical space and pressure testing 365 00:14:10,633 --> 00:14:12,466 like how technical you are 366 00:14:12,466 --> 00:14:14,266 how smart how could you pivot 367 00:14:14,300 --> 00:14:16,500 how could you solve really hard problems 368 00:14:16,500 --> 00:14:18,266 but all from a technical lens 369 00:14:18,533 --> 00:14:20,900 and then I happened to have this people centric focus 370 00:14:20,900 --> 00:14:23,466 so I feel like I like had made all that work 371 00:14:23,466 --> 00:14:25,866 but then leaving this technical space 372 00:14:25,866 --> 00:14:28,666 and also using my technical ability in these spaces 373 00:14:28,666 --> 00:14:31,033 like I can create a process like no other 374 00:14:31,033 --> 00:14:33,300 I can ops anything I have seen 375 00:14:33,300 --> 00:14:33,700 I'm like oh 376 00:14:33,700 --> 00:14:34,866 that is this great I'll build it 377 00:14:34,866 --> 00:14:35,400 they're like what 378 00:14:35,400 --> 00:14:36,033 I was like oh yeah 379 00:14:36,033 --> 00:14:37,433 like I can just and they're like wow 380 00:14:37,433 --> 00:14:38,566 I was like yeah 381 00:14:38,566 --> 00:14:39,766 don't mess around with my spreadsheets 382 00:14:39,766 --> 00:14:40,466 like I you know 383 00:14:40,466 --> 00:14:42,666 I I love to be able to build 384 00:14:42,666 --> 00:14:45,466 but the emotional and um 385 00:14:45,466 --> 00:14:48,633 the mental load in this work was completely 386 00:14:48,633 --> 00:14:50,900 it was complete I was not ready for that 387 00:14:50,900 --> 00:14:53,833 and so I remember going to my therapist 388 00:14:53,833 --> 00:14:55,300 thank goodness for therapist 389 00:14:55,300 --> 00:14:57,633 Whoo in the world of AI 390 00:14:57,633 --> 00:15:00,366 uh therapists are more needed now than ever 391 00:15:00,833 --> 00:15:04,600 and I went to her and she said sunny 392 00:15:04,600 --> 00:15:07,200 if I you have to care for yourself 393 00:15:07,266 --> 00:15:11,466 and if I showed up today and I didn't care for myself 394 00:15:11,466 --> 00:15:14,866 if I didn't have high emotional like EQ right 395 00:15:14,866 --> 00:15:17,733 if I was coming to the space drained 396 00:15:18,000 --> 00:15:21,266 you would not be getting what you need out of me right 397 00:15:21,266 --> 00:15:22,233 now so 398 00:15:22,233 --> 00:15:22,566 and so 399 00:15:22,566 --> 00:15:26,900 you have to shift your mindset in order to be the best 400 00:15:26,900 --> 00:15:28,500 right in this role 401 00:15:28,833 --> 00:15:30,966 that also means that you have to center 402 00:15:30,966 --> 00:15:33,500 your own well being in order to do that 403 00:15:33,500 --> 00:15:35,966 and I it was just a pivotal moment of like 404 00:15:35,966 --> 00:15:38,066 I don't want my therapist that like 405 00:15:38,066 --> 00:15:39,600 you know depleted right 406 00:15:39,600 --> 00:15:40,866 I need her at that level 407 00:15:40,866 --> 00:15:43,566 so I can also get what I need to get 408 00:15:43,566 --> 00:15:46,366 and so I think it was a responsibility to this work 409 00:15:46,366 --> 00:15:48,666 means that I have to have a responsibility to myself 410 00:15:48,666 --> 00:15:49,800 and my well being 411 00:15:50,033 --> 00:15:52,400 so grounding looks different for everybody 412 00:15:52,400 --> 00:15:53,833 I had some amazing um 413 00:15:53,833 --> 00:15:55,233 coaches and friends 414 00:15:55,233 --> 00:15:57,366 and just folks who I've Learned from 415 00:15:57,566 --> 00:15:59,166 um it doesn't look the same 416 00:15:59,166 --> 00:16:01,666 like what fills my cup up doesn't fill your cup up 417 00:16:01,666 --> 00:16:04,100 Ashley and so just understanding what that is 418 00:16:04,100 --> 00:16:07,800 I spend a lot of time my free time and community yes 419 00:16:07,800 --> 00:16:09,233 sometimes it's challenging 420 00:16:09,233 --> 00:16:11,166 but it also fills my cup up right 421 00:16:11,166 --> 00:16:12,233 that give back cycle 422 00:16:12,233 --> 00:16:15,400 the 7 generations mindset really keeps me going 423 00:16:15,400 --> 00:16:16,700 I also ground myself 424 00:16:16,700 --> 00:16:18,966 and prepare myself for challenging conversations 425 00:16:19,166 --> 00:16:20,600 um I 426 00:16:20,766 --> 00:16:22,500 a lot you can see probably back there 427 00:16:22,500 --> 00:16:24,200 my smudging I smudge a lot 428 00:16:24,200 --> 00:16:25,600 I have a practice where 429 00:16:25,600 --> 00:16:27,466 if a conversation didn't go well 430 00:16:27,466 --> 00:16:30,366 but I don't need to own how the other person showed up 431 00:16:30,366 --> 00:16:31,433 they just didn't show up well 432 00:16:31,433 --> 00:16:32,900 I wash my hands immediately 433 00:16:32,900 --> 00:16:35,700 like I actually physically get up and go wash my hands 434 00:16:35,700 --> 00:16:38,866 so like I'm reflecting that that's on them 435 00:16:38,866 --> 00:16:41,033 like I might need to give them feedback 436 00:16:41,033 --> 00:16:43,500 but that was not on me um 437 00:16:43,500 --> 00:16:46,666 I think I have high discernment of what's mine to own 438 00:16:46,666 --> 00:16:48,000 and carry forward 439 00:16:48,000 --> 00:16:51,166 and with me and what is mine to leave behind 440 00:16:51,166 --> 00:16:52,866 my responsibility is literally 441 00:16:52,866 --> 00:16:54,366 not to solve all the world's problems 442 00:16:54,366 --> 00:16:55,866 I will die trying and so 443 00:16:55,866 --> 00:16:59,433 just understanding what problems are my responsibility 444 00:16:59,433 --> 00:17:02,400 also how can I still think big and try to solve 445 00:17:02,400 --> 00:17:04,100 maybe things that are outside of my realm 446 00:17:04,100 --> 00:17:05,900 but I cannot exhaust myself 447 00:17:05,900 --> 00:17:07,966 trying to solve the world's problems 448 00:17:08,066 --> 00:17:10,566 I have to kind of focus around what my 449 00:17:10,566 --> 00:17:14,866 what this area is and where my impact can be felt 450 00:17:14,866 --> 00:17:16,500 and so just that discernment 451 00:17:16,500 --> 00:17:18,066 the adjustment um 452 00:17:18,066 --> 00:17:20,233 I often take my shoes off and like 453 00:17:20,233 --> 00:17:21,666 my neighbors probably think I'm crazy 454 00:17:21,666 --> 00:17:24,366 but I just go stand in my front yard and ground myself 455 00:17:24,366 --> 00:17:27,166 I look up to the sun even if it's for five minutes 456 00:17:27,166 --> 00:17:30,800 and I do that prior to a challenging conversation 457 00:17:31,133 --> 00:17:34,066 I use a lot of friends as as coaches to say 458 00:17:34,066 --> 00:17:35,466 here's how I wanna frame this 459 00:17:35,466 --> 00:17:37,966 how do how do you think this would be received 460 00:17:38,266 --> 00:17:41,266 super thoughtful about intentional conversations 461 00:17:41,466 --> 00:17:46,066 I remove what I want to get across and focus it on more 462 00:17:46,066 --> 00:17:48,033 how the other person might receive 463 00:17:48,033 --> 00:17:49,366 when I'm trying to get across 464 00:17:49,366 --> 00:17:53,366 I would love to also say I practice this all the time 465 00:17:53,366 --> 00:17:55,166 and I don't I'm a human 466 00:17:55,166 --> 00:18:00,266 I have emotions I try as I get older and more wiser 467 00:18:00,266 --> 00:18:02,666 um I try to practice it more 468 00:18:02,666 --> 00:18:04,400 um and being really intentional 469 00:18:04,400 --> 00:18:06,200 but I don't always get it right 470 00:18:06,200 --> 00:18:07,833 and I don't always show up well 471 00:18:07,833 --> 00:18:12,100 but I know where that accountability lives now 472 00:18:12,100 --> 00:18:13,466 and what I need to do better 473 00:18:13,466 --> 00:18:16,000 and those like physical mental 474 00:18:16,000 --> 00:18:18,800 and emotional processes and practices 475 00:18:18,800 --> 00:18:20,866 really help me move through this work 476 00:18:20,866 --> 00:18:23,300 and the leader that I am today 477 00:18:23,300 --> 00:18:26,466 is not the same leader I was three years ago 478 00:18:26,466 --> 00:18:27,400 and it was because 479 00:18:27,400 --> 00:18:28,600 I've been really intentional 480 00:18:28,600 --> 00:18:29,600 about the way that I show up 481 00:18:29,600 --> 00:18:30,666 in my day to day work 482 00:18:30,666 --> 00:18:32,300 that doesn't mean that it's not hard 483 00:18:32,300 --> 00:18:33,000 that doesn't mean that 484 00:18:33,000 --> 00:18:34,400 I don't want to tell somebody off 485 00:18:34,400 --> 00:18:36,033 and take my earrings off sometimes 486 00:18:36,033 --> 00:18:38,700 and just give it to him but like 487 00:18:38,700 --> 00:18:40,466 I often think about the outcome 488 00:18:40,466 --> 00:18:42,200 I'm trying to achieve first 489 00:18:42,200 --> 00:18:46,666 before the reaction and so that's really been helpful 490 00:18:46,666 --> 00:18:48,200 I think what's so 491 00:18:48,200 --> 00:18:50,666 there's so many takeaways in what you just said so 492 00:18:50,666 --> 00:18:52,300 so so many takeaways 493 00:18:52,300 --> 00:18:53,966 what's interesting for people to hear 494 00:18:53,966 --> 00:18:55,566 one is you're human 495 00:18:55,566 --> 00:18:58,266 often we would hear something like what you're saying 496 00:18:58,266 --> 00:19:00,266 which sounds so aspirational 497 00:19:00,266 --> 00:19:01,433 I I wanna be like this 498 00:19:01,433 --> 00:19:02,166 I wanna do this 499 00:19:02,166 --> 00:19:04,833 I wanna be this incredible human who can realize to 500 00:19:04,833 --> 00:19:07,833 get the energy off her and not necessarily take it in 501 00:19:07,833 --> 00:19:09,300 but I love what you called out there 502 00:19:09,300 --> 00:19:11,366 which is it's not perfect all the time 503 00:19:11,366 --> 00:19:12,033 so that's okay 504 00:19:12,033 --> 00:19:14,166 we also don't need to put that on ourselves 505 00:19:14,166 --> 00:19:16,700 you're human too so thank you for calling that out 506 00:19:16,700 --> 00:19:18,766 the idea of not taking on 507 00:19:18,766 --> 00:19:20,666 things that we don't need to take on 508 00:19:20,666 --> 00:19:21,366 so we free it 509 00:19:21,366 --> 00:19:24,466 more space within ourselves to accept the good things 510 00:19:24,466 --> 00:19:27,300 too those are all just such beautiful call outs 511 00:19:27,300 --> 00:19:29,733 I have to ask as as a mom myself 512 00:19:29,900 --> 00:19:33,633 so in terms of practicing this with kiddos 513 00:19:33,633 --> 00:19:36,766 in terms of kiddos impacting your practice 514 00:19:36,766 --> 00:19:39,633 informing it even I'm just so curious to ask 515 00:19:39,633 --> 00:19:41,233 asking for a friend what's 516 00:19:41,233 --> 00:19:43,533 what's the the experience there 517 00:19:44,233 --> 00:19:47,666 yeah so I parent extremes right now 518 00:19:47,666 --> 00:19:50,633 so I have two 18 year old seniors about to graduate 519 00:19:50,633 --> 00:19:52,100 and then I have two littles 520 00:19:52,666 --> 00:19:54,866 both of the Littles have disabilities 521 00:19:55,100 --> 00:19:58,033 and so the parenting looks vastly different 522 00:19:58,033 --> 00:20:01,566 parenting our twins they're just such brilliant 523 00:20:01,566 --> 00:20:05,466 amazing humans who are a gift to the world 524 00:20:05,466 --> 00:20:07,066 and also I'm their parent 525 00:20:07,066 --> 00:20:08,500 not their best friend 526 00:20:08,500 --> 00:20:11,700 I have enjoyed going into seasons of life 527 00:20:11,700 --> 00:20:13,633 where we have better connection 528 00:20:13,633 --> 00:20:15,866 like some of my favorite moments are late night 529 00:20:15,866 --> 00:20:16,800 when they come home 530 00:20:16,800 --> 00:20:19,033 where we're just sitting around and laughing 531 00:20:19,033 --> 00:20:20,766 in the kitchen silliness 532 00:20:20,766 --> 00:20:23,033 listening to music that we can't play 533 00:20:23,033 --> 00:20:24,366 when the littles are awake 534 00:20:24,366 --> 00:20:28,366 I I love this like adult parent season we're in 535 00:20:28,366 --> 00:20:29,266 um and I think 536 00:20:29,266 --> 00:20:31,233 I've just used this word multiple times already 537 00:20:31,233 --> 00:20:33,300 but looking at things as seasons 538 00:20:33,300 --> 00:20:36,366 not forever has really helped me 539 00:20:36,366 --> 00:20:38,033 I mean there are days 540 00:20:38,033 --> 00:20:39,233 and even more lately 541 00:20:39,233 --> 00:20:42,066 that I have just felt depleted and defeated 542 00:20:42,066 --> 00:20:43,666 and just straight up just 543 00:20:43,666 --> 00:20:45,100 I'm a crier um 544 00:20:45,100 --> 00:20:48,033 and so I've cried and I really think like 545 00:20:48,033 --> 00:20:50,366 we didn't get here overnight with the twins 546 00:20:50,400 --> 00:20:53,666 and so recognizing that we really were in the trenches 547 00:20:54,000 --> 00:20:56,000 especially parenting adopted kiddos 548 00:20:56,000 --> 00:20:57,366 or you don't have a playbook 549 00:20:57,366 --> 00:21:00,100 and so learning as kind of we go with them 550 00:21:00,166 --> 00:21:02,300 but as we look at the littles 551 00:21:02,733 --> 00:21:03,700 um you know 552 00:21:03,700 --> 00:21:07,700 just recognizing that because of their disabilities 553 00:21:07,700 --> 00:21:08,900 I think number one first of all 554 00:21:08,900 --> 00:21:11,366 getting support though we are very fortunate 555 00:21:11,366 --> 00:21:12,700 fastly to have great benefits 556 00:21:12,700 --> 00:21:14,366 and so I've really leaned in the benefits 557 00:21:14,366 --> 00:21:16,033 and getting answers 558 00:21:16,033 --> 00:21:19,033 getting multiple levels of support from professionals 559 00:21:19,033 --> 00:21:20,500 has been just honestly 560 00:21:20,500 --> 00:21:22,233 I felt like really gaslit for a while 561 00:21:22,233 --> 00:21:25,233 I was gaslighting myself with like what's going on 562 00:21:25,233 --> 00:21:27,566 and so just to have that reassurance of like 563 00:21:27,566 --> 00:21:29,166 this parenting might look different 564 00:21:29,166 --> 00:21:31,200 but it is actually the best parenting 565 00:21:31,466 --> 00:21:32,833 techniques for your kids 566 00:21:32,833 --> 00:21:34,833 I think also when I'm not getting it right 567 00:21:34,833 --> 00:21:35,766 being held accountable 568 00:21:35,766 --> 00:21:38,200 or being guided from the professionals who 569 00:21:38,200 --> 00:21:40,033 you know are experts in this area 570 00:21:40,033 --> 00:21:42,200 and then having somebody just to listen to you 571 00:21:42,200 --> 00:21:44,800 when you're parenting special needs kids 572 00:21:45,066 --> 00:21:48,800 you feel really alone there's a lot of honestly 573 00:21:48,800 --> 00:21:51,233 resentment where I look at other families and I'm like 574 00:21:51,233 --> 00:21:53,366 oh my goodness they can just travel 575 00:21:53,366 --> 00:21:55,666 it's so easy they're not having a breakdown 576 00:21:55,666 --> 00:21:58,033 they don't have to consider going to IEP meetings 577 00:21:58,033 --> 00:22:00,033 and psychological meetings 578 00:22:00,033 --> 00:22:02,566 and psychiatrist and all of these things 579 00:22:02,566 --> 00:22:04,466 it's just so much again 580 00:22:04,466 --> 00:22:06,900 like I love that I work remotely 581 00:22:06,900 --> 00:22:09,666 have a lot of flexibility to go to my kids appointments 582 00:22:09,666 --> 00:22:12,166 I was in a 4 hour IEP meeting yesterday 583 00:22:12,700 --> 00:22:15,300 so just also having a really compassionate leader 584 00:22:15,300 --> 00:22:18,300 a manager who knows that and I can share that 585 00:22:18,300 --> 00:22:20,700 I can block my calendar about it 586 00:22:20,700 --> 00:22:23,300 and knowing that I'm gonna be drained from that 587 00:22:23,366 --> 00:22:25,766 but feeling I also have the capacity and 588 00:22:25,766 --> 00:22:27,033 support to go through those 589 00:22:27,033 --> 00:22:29,600 and then yeah recognizing that 590 00:22:29,600 --> 00:22:30,800 there's a lot of areas 591 00:22:30,800 --> 00:22:33,066 in my life that are just pulling from me 592 00:22:33,066 --> 00:22:37,066 and so that means that I need to find areas of respite 593 00:22:37,066 --> 00:22:39,900 um that means honestly going to the beach 594 00:22:39,900 --> 00:22:41,233 spending time in the sand 595 00:22:41,233 --> 00:22:43,700 in the water that's restoration 596 00:22:44,033 --> 00:22:46,100 girls night out is one of my favorite things 597 00:22:46,100 --> 00:22:47,666 even though I'm like oh 598 00:22:47,666 --> 00:22:49,100 I gotta put on real pants 599 00:22:50,166 --> 00:22:51,100 you know I still 600 00:22:51,100 --> 00:22:52,466 you know it's a whole thing I 601 00:22:52,466 --> 00:22:53,400 I like listen 602 00:22:53,400 --> 00:22:54,700 I love the work from home life 603 00:22:54,700 --> 00:22:55,966 and not having to put on real pants 604 00:22:55,966 --> 00:22:57,466 and so you know 605 00:22:57,466 --> 00:22:59,500 what does that look like I also think like 606 00:22:59,500 --> 00:23:01,300 sometimes it's having girlfriends come over 607 00:23:01,300 --> 00:23:03,633 and just having a porch wine night 608 00:23:03,633 --> 00:23:05,200 and just kind of unloading 609 00:23:05,200 --> 00:23:06,066 sometimes it looks like 610 00:23:06,066 --> 00:23:10,000 it's calling my best friend and having a virtual wine 611 00:23:10,000 --> 00:23:12,300 and just kind of being there for each other 612 00:23:12,666 --> 00:23:16,100 my one favorite restoration technique is the memes 613 00:23:16,100 --> 00:23:18,700 right now they just give me so much life 614 00:23:18,700 --> 00:23:22,300 I have a like multiple friend groups that like 615 00:23:22,300 --> 00:23:23,800 or folks that I'm just really close with 616 00:23:23,800 --> 00:23:25,033 and like we just send memes 617 00:23:25,033 --> 00:23:25,833 we don't even have to say anything 618 00:23:25,833 --> 00:23:27,766 we just send memes back and forth to each other 619 00:23:27,900 --> 00:23:29,833 and I feel like I feel seen 620 00:23:29,833 --> 00:23:32,400 they're so funny my friends are really funny 621 00:23:32,400 --> 00:23:34,233 but like it just helps resonate 622 00:23:34,233 --> 00:23:36,100 that we're all going through a lot 623 00:23:36,100 --> 00:23:37,400 I'm peri menopause 624 00:23:37,433 --> 00:23:40,066 so the peri menopause means are just giving me life 625 00:23:40,066 --> 00:23:43,300 so just knowing that like there is relation there 626 00:23:43,300 --> 00:23:46,000 that there is community and that this is a season that 627 00:23:46,000 --> 00:23:48,166 that just looks vastly different 628 00:23:48,166 --> 00:23:51,200 I'm not going away on this week long girls weekend 629 00:23:51,200 --> 00:23:53,166 you know for a number of reasons 630 00:23:53,166 --> 00:23:55,700 but I am finding respite in the small spaces 631 00:23:55,700 --> 00:23:58,000 that are definitely resetting that soul 632 00:23:58,000 --> 00:24:01,266 so that I can be there my best self for the kids 633 00:24:01,266 --> 00:24:03,766 the other thing I think with parenting for me is 634 00:24:03,766 --> 00:24:05,266 I have not got it right 635 00:24:05,266 --> 00:24:08,300 I look back at my parents and I never have 636 00:24:08,300 --> 00:24:09,833 want to have resentment for them 637 00:24:09,833 --> 00:24:11,466 for things that they didn't 638 00:24:11,466 --> 00:24:12,700 they didn't have the tools 639 00:24:12,700 --> 00:24:14,366 and they weren't equipped for 640 00:24:14,466 --> 00:24:17,500 and so I don't want my kids to get older and resent us 641 00:24:17,500 --> 00:24:19,800 because we didn't literally have the tools 642 00:24:19,800 --> 00:24:21,666 or we weren't equipped for these things 643 00:24:21,666 --> 00:24:25,000 so just giving my own like self Grace of like 644 00:24:25,000 --> 00:24:28,166 as we as there's education about parenting 645 00:24:28,166 --> 00:24:28,566 you know 646 00:24:28,566 --> 00:24:30,666 children with special needs and adoptive parenting 647 00:24:30,666 --> 00:24:32,900 and what that looks like like we're learning 648 00:24:33,066 --> 00:24:36,066 and then repairing the harm when we didn't get it right 649 00:24:36,100 --> 00:24:38,100 I think of just going to our kids 650 00:24:38,100 --> 00:24:40,666 being really transparent saying like 651 00:24:40,666 --> 00:24:42,166 I messed up here like 652 00:24:42,166 --> 00:24:43,766 you know I'm learning 653 00:24:43,766 --> 00:24:46,566 and just asking for their Grace and forgiveness 654 00:24:46,566 --> 00:24:48,666 in that space and leading with that humility 655 00:24:48,666 --> 00:24:51,766 is modeling who I want them to be as 656 00:24:51,766 --> 00:24:54,000 as parents humans 657 00:24:54,066 --> 00:24:56,366 but then as if they become parents 658 00:24:56,366 --> 00:24:58,733 cause I don't ever want to put that pressure on them 659 00:24:58,800 --> 00:24:59,800 um you know 660 00:24:59,800 --> 00:25:01,866 they also can see that 661 00:25:01,866 --> 00:25:03,700 they could ask for Grace and forgiveness 662 00:25:03,700 --> 00:25:04,766 and have um 663 00:25:04,766 --> 00:25:07,100 hopefully they give their own self that space and Grace 664 00:25:07,100 --> 00:25:08,500 too you know what I 665 00:25:08,500 --> 00:25:10,400 I just appreciate myself 666 00:25:10,600 --> 00:25:13,400 and I know that others will appreciate 667 00:25:13,400 --> 00:25:15,166 hearing what you just said 668 00:25:15,166 --> 00:25:19,000 you're a leader you're a highly accomplished individual 669 00:25:19,000 --> 00:25:21,666 and you're vulnerable and you're real 670 00:25:21,900 --> 00:25:24,066 and there are things that bring you joy 671 00:25:24,066 --> 00:25:25,766 there are things that are tough 672 00:25:25,766 --> 00:25:30,100 just being so genuinely real and honest 673 00:25:30,100 --> 00:25:31,466 it's refreshing right 674 00:25:31,466 --> 00:25:34,800 it's not the Instagram filter truly yeah 675 00:25:34,800 --> 00:25:36,666 I definitely don't have that yeah 676 00:25:36,666 --> 00:25:37,900 in fact my kids will be like oh 677 00:25:37,900 --> 00:25:39,266 you're pretty real real yeah 678 00:25:39,266 --> 00:25:42,033 I don't I have never had that 679 00:25:42,033 --> 00:25:44,100 probably to a fault sometimes 680 00:25:44,100 --> 00:25:46,400 because that cannot that's not always 681 00:25:46,400 --> 00:25:48,233 received well in professional settings 682 00:25:48,233 --> 00:25:49,900 but I I do 683 00:25:50,000 --> 00:25:51,866 who I show up in my day to day is 684 00:25:51,866 --> 00:25:53,500 who I show up in my professional life 685 00:25:53,500 --> 00:25:55,200 I I do know how to code switch 686 00:25:55,200 --> 00:25:56,866 I'm a champ at it 687 00:25:57,066 --> 00:26:01,400 but I do try to pull that level of authenticity 688 00:26:01,400 --> 00:26:04,233 that comes through when people know me 689 00:26:04,233 --> 00:26:05,800 and they see me in my community 690 00:26:05,800 --> 00:26:08,166 they see me in my tribal community 691 00:26:08,166 --> 00:26:09,666 they see me with my friends 692 00:26:09,666 --> 00:26:12,033 there might be a little bit more fire and spice 693 00:26:12,033 --> 00:26:12,833 that comes out 694 00:26:12,833 --> 00:26:14,900 but like they're gonna they're gonna know me I mean 695 00:26:14,900 --> 00:26:16,500 I wear the same big earrings 696 00:26:16,500 --> 00:26:18,166 I am pretty loud 697 00:26:18,166 --> 00:26:20,800 and high energy in all the spaces I come in 698 00:26:20,800 --> 00:26:25,133 and so I hope that people don't see the difference 699 00:26:25,400 --> 00:26:28,633 they really know that this is this is who I am 700 00:26:28,633 --> 00:26:32,100 and I'm always wanting to change and and be better 701 00:26:32,100 --> 00:26:35,833 but I'm also really proud of the human I am 702 00:26:35,833 --> 00:26:40,566 and I'm really like settling into my core values 703 00:26:40,566 --> 00:26:41,900 and really modeling 704 00:26:41,900 --> 00:26:44,700 the way that I show up around my core values 705 00:26:44,700 --> 00:26:46,633 and almost now they're I mean 706 00:26:46,633 --> 00:26:49,200 not almost they are now non negotiable 707 00:26:49,433 --> 00:26:51,866 I'm also really good at protecting 708 00:26:51,866 --> 00:26:54,300 what doesn't serve me so 709 00:26:54,300 --> 00:26:56,000 or I guess protecting the space 710 00:26:56,000 --> 00:26:58,100 and getting rid of what doesn't serve me 711 00:26:58,100 --> 00:26:59,200 probably to a fault 712 00:26:59,200 --> 00:27:04,966 but my bandwidth for the BS is out of very big minimum 713 00:27:04,966 --> 00:27:08,266 love it hear it love it embrace it feel it myself 714 00:27:08,400 --> 00:27:09,566 here's my final question 715 00:27:09,566 --> 00:27:11,000 it's my favorite question to ask 716 00:27:11,000 --> 00:27:13,300 and I'm very curious how you'd answer this 717 00:27:13,300 --> 00:27:15,433 with all of your experience 718 00:27:15,433 --> 00:27:17,466 my goodness friend professionally 719 00:27:17,466 --> 00:27:19,033 personally life 720 00:27:19,033 --> 00:27:23,800 all of it if you can say something to your younger self 721 00:27:23,800 --> 00:27:26,333 knowing what you know now what would you say 722 00:27:27,666 --> 00:27:29,700 I think for me personally 723 00:27:29,700 --> 00:27:33,966 is I always thought that bigger circles 724 00:27:33,966 --> 00:27:35,433 were always better 725 00:27:35,433 --> 00:27:38,666 that meant that I was more open that I was more giving 726 00:27:38,800 --> 00:27:42,866 that I was more true and unfortunately 727 00:27:42,866 --> 00:27:46,800 I had just gotten burned by being way more giving 728 00:27:46,800 --> 00:27:49,000 and not because I wasn't receiving 729 00:27:49,066 --> 00:27:53,466 it's because I think I aligned expectations with people 730 00:27:53,500 --> 00:27:55,666 and didn't have a higher bar 731 00:27:55,666 --> 00:27:57,566 for the way that people showed up 732 00:27:57,566 --> 00:27:59,066 when we were in our trenches 733 00:27:59,066 --> 00:28:01,066 for when we needed community 734 00:28:01,466 --> 00:28:01,833 and so 735 00:28:01,833 --> 00:28:06,800 I was very selfless about my time and space and energy 736 00:28:06,900 --> 00:28:09,500 and I think in the back of my mind I had this like 737 00:28:09,500 --> 00:28:09,833 oh well 738 00:28:09,833 --> 00:28:11,833 it's reciprocal this is just what people do 739 00:28:11,833 --> 00:28:13,866 cause it's the way that me and my partner show up 740 00:28:13,866 --> 00:28:15,200 we are just community 741 00:28:15,200 --> 00:28:18,966 humans who are on the ground doing the work 742 00:28:19,266 --> 00:28:21,266 and recognizing that 743 00:28:21,266 --> 00:28:23,600 that's not core values of everybody 744 00:28:24,066 --> 00:28:27,233 and so as I've gotten older 745 00:28:27,233 --> 00:28:29,000 I've recognized that 746 00:28:29,000 --> 00:28:30,966 I've recognized it and tightened my circles 747 00:28:30,966 --> 00:28:34,200 not everybody deserves that same same amount of me 748 00:28:34,200 --> 00:28:35,566 and so you know 749 00:28:35,566 --> 00:28:38,300 and I really again want to protect that 750 00:28:38,300 --> 00:28:39,633 and so um 751 00:28:39,633 --> 00:28:41,633 I think like looking back is 752 00:28:41,633 --> 00:28:43,766 I think I would have been more protective of that 753 00:28:43,766 --> 00:28:45,666 one of the things I love about my daughter is 754 00:28:45,666 --> 00:28:49,366 she is wildly protective of who gets access to her 755 00:28:49,366 --> 00:28:51,000 and at first I was like well 756 00:28:51,000 --> 00:28:52,033 it's and I got so like 757 00:28:52,033 --> 00:28:54,200 you're missing out and what about this 758 00:28:54,200 --> 00:28:58,966 and I realized that I actually really respect that now 759 00:28:58,966 --> 00:29:00,933 and I've Learned from her 760 00:29:01,100 --> 00:29:03,700 and she doesn't have FOMO about like oh 761 00:29:03,700 --> 00:29:05,033 I didn't get invited this thing 762 00:29:05,033 --> 00:29:06,300 or I'm not doing this thing 763 00:29:06,300 --> 00:29:07,800 she's just like no 764 00:29:07,800 --> 00:29:10,566 my like I wanna bring around people who are 765 00:29:10,566 --> 00:29:13,300 my rider dies and who get this 766 00:29:13,300 --> 00:29:15,266 you know access to this space 767 00:29:15,266 --> 00:29:18,766 and through and I've seen her really shine and thrive 768 00:29:18,766 --> 00:29:19,433 and she's had 769 00:29:19,433 --> 00:29:21,966 literally will have lifelong friends from that 770 00:29:21,966 --> 00:29:25,000 and so I think like as I move into this season 771 00:29:25,066 --> 00:29:26,866 actually having smaller circles 772 00:29:26,866 --> 00:29:29,666 knowing who my ride or dies are pouring every 773 00:29:29,666 --> 00:29:30,500 the same amount of energy 774 00:29:30,500 --> 00:29:33,266 but into just them has really been 775 00:29:33,266 --> 00:29:36,000 allowed me to be more sustainable and honestly 776 00:29:36,000 --> 00:29:40,766 a lot more joyful a lot more just happy and and 777 00:29:41,066 --> 00:29:43,966 and genuinely happy um 778 00:29:43,966 --> 00:29:46,566 and it's allowed me to kind of like 779 00:29:46,566 --> 00:29:49,033 when I do need to unload or I'm not showing up well 780 00:29:49,033 --> 00:29:50,333 or I'm in the trenches 781 00:29:50,366 --> 00:29:52,800 I never have to worry who has my back right 782 00:29:52,800 --> 00:29:54,866 they're recognizing that they're coming 783 00:29:55,100 --> 00:29:56,700 they're coming and meeting me there 784 00:29:56,700 --> 00:29:57,633 um and I think that 785 00:29:57,633 --> 00:29:59,900 that's been a really beautiful shift in 786 00:29:59,900 --> 00:30:02,333 the way that I've Learned through my own kiddos 787 00:30:02,366 --> 00:30:04,566 and something that I wish I would have shifted 788 00:30:04,566 --> 00:30:08,533 early on versus having to kind of learn the hard way 789 00:30:08,533 --> 00:30:09,066 well 790 00:30:09,066 --> 00:30:12,833 you are nodding along as I'm agreeing with all this 791 00:30:12,833 --> 00:30:14,566 going to implement some of this 792 00:30:14,566 --> 00:30:15,566 so thank you for that 793 00:30:15,566 --> 00:30:18,900 thank you for being just a transparent 794 00:30:18,900 --> 00:30:23,966 open authentic human being who is leading inside out 795 00:30:23,966 --> 00:30:24,900 I mean truly 796 00:30:24,900 --> 00:30:28,366 it just your energy just is felt 797 00:30:28,633 --> 00:30:31,000 um and I appreciate knowing you 798 00:30:31,000 --> 00:30:33,600 I know those listening will appreciate again 799 00:30:33,600 --> 00:30:35,633 your honesty and transparency 800 00:30:35,633 --> 00:30:38,066 and the fact that it's work right 801 00:30:38,066 --> 00:30:40,000 you're you're constantly doing the work 802 00:30:40,000 --> 00:30:42,800 you're constantly showing up and willing to do the work 803 00:30:42,800 --> 00:30:45,266 and not only are you creating that impact 804 00:30:45,766 --> 00:30:47,166 in your personal communities 805 00:30:47,166 --> 00:30:48,733 but you're creating that impact 806 00:30:48,800 --> 00:30:50,300 in your corporate communities too 807 00:30:50,300 --> 00:30:52,066 and it's just an honor to know you 808 00:30:52,066 --> 00:30:53,533 thank you for sharing your voice 809 00:30:53,833 --> 00:30:55,333 thanks Ashley appreciate you