13| The Mindset Holding Your Career Hostage - and Your Real Personal Brand Back

Speaker A: Hey, leader. Look, I respect your ambition, but ambition does not always mean going after more of what you already have. The bigger title, the next promotion, or the next logical step in your career. Sometimes ambition looks like having the nerve to chart a new path. It takes courage to make a move that may not look like advancement to everyone else, a sound strategy to move it forward, and perseverance to push past the expectations of people who believe they already know what success should look like for you. So is it possible that you, uh, have been pouring your energy into the wrong path because it was what others expected of you? Or simply because it seemed like the path of least resistance? Maybe you keep feeling that internal nudge that there is more, something different or another way to use the gifts you already have. It may be time to stop suppressing it. Joining me for this conversation is Dr. Kapoo Patel, whose career has evolved from corporate pharmaceuticals to entrepreneurship, consulting, photography, and mindset coaching. She is sharing not only what it took to choose a different path, but what that evolution cost her and what she learned along the way. We are talking about the mindset that can hold your career hostage, suppress your real personal brand, and keep you pursuing the path that looks right to everyone else instead of the one that is right for you. Do you want to fully step into your calling and live out your God inspired vision, but lack the right people and resources to help you? Hi, I'm Nicole Pride, personal branding strategist, leadership coach, and Christian. I learned the secret to advancing big leadership goals and attracting new opportunities is through intentionally elevating your personal brand. If you're ready to step into greater impact without losing your piece, then grab a protein bar, your iPad, and let's go. Before we get started, if you want to go beyond the podcast, I invite you to become an ambitious leadership insider. You'll get access to my private community, leadership and personal branding strategies, special offers, and quarterly prayer and planning sessions. Join us at nicolepride.com/insider. Today, I am so excited to have with us Dr. Kapu Patel, who is the founder of you Shine Mindset coaching. Kapu is an ICF certified ACC coach who helps women find the courage, the clarity and confidence to make their next big bold move using tools like nlp, timeline therapy, mindset dimensions, hypnotherapy, all shaped by decades of experience in corporate leadership, entrepreneurship, and even transformation. Portrait photography. And that's how I met, uh, Dr. Patel. For most of her career, Kapu followed the path she was handed. A woman of science, sitting at tables where not many people looked like her. Keeping her voice small. It wasn't until she was coached herself that everything cracked open. She stopped asking, what's the predictable path? And started asking, what's my why? And I love that we're going to dig into that. The answer changed the direction of her life. It was always about transformation after that. So today, Kapu coaches women, especially women in science and entrepreneurship, who have everything it takes, but were conditioned to believe the cards were stacked against them. Her message is one of ownership and calling. How you live your life in its full glory is completely within your control, no matter what your culture, your conditioning, or the judgment of others might have told you. So, as a South Asian woman who has spent decades being one of the one who didn't quite look like everyone else in the room and who chose herself even when it cost her, and we want to talk about that price, Kapu brings a lived experience her clients don't just relate to. They see themselves in it. She doesn't just talk about transformation. She's photographed it, she's led it, and she lived it. I mean, I just love it. I love it. Just. Your story is just so, 1. Inspiring, I find inspiring, because, um, as I can imagine, it's not easy, um, breaking from the path that everyone's carved out for you and that you spent maybe the first half of your life really working towards. Right. And so I would imagine that took a lot of courage. So if you can just tell us, um, what it was like when you started to have that first realization that, you know, this is. This is not quite right. And I don't know if it started during that. That infamous coaching session that you had or did you get little inklings before that coaching session, and then that really affirmed, you know, what you have thought inside all along.

Speaker B: Well, first of all, Nicole, thank you for having me. I'm so excited. I know you and I have. We've known each other for about five, six years now, right?

Speaker A: Yeah. It's hot. Ties rolling. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Ah.

Speaker B: So I'm really excited. I'm, um, to be here and having this conversation with you, um, in particular, because I know you and I kind of walk along similar paths, and we have the same passion and we, you know, serve similarly. So, um, I'm very, very excited to be here.

Speaker A: Yeah. And who knew? So when we first met, you talked about your. The many lives of your career. Right. The first time that we've met was at a conference and you had your photography business, and I got a wonderful portrait from you, which was great. But I didn't know at that time that we would intersect like we are now. So it's. It's pretty co to get to this point and to have this deeper conversation, and that's interesting.

Speaker B: So, going back to your original question, right, it's like, I do believe the universe hands, um, you, um, opportunities, um, for growth, for connection that you do not know at the time that that's what they're meant for you. And, um, so when you asked me, you know, was it like, um, were there inklings that came along or all of a sudden something happened? Um, I became a photographer. And there's a long story about that too, that I came to it sort of like, as in it's a big word, but it wasn't that big as an existential crisis kind of situation. And, um, when I became a photographer, I took even in that field, like, a very predictable path of, you know, it has to look nice, it has to look a certain way. You know, I have to photograph people or women a certain way. And as I was photographing women, that's when I actually got coached myself too, because I got myself what I thought was a business coach, but in reality, he cracked open something bigger about my why. And, um, I realized that it was never about the photograph ever. It was always about the feeling that that photograph generated.

Speaker A: Yeah, I definitely can relate to that. Right. So, uh, my philosophy is that we all have a purpose, but you can live out that purpose in different ways. Right. So the things that you pursue, you dig deep enough, there's a common thread there that gets you to that why that you're talking about.

Speaker B: Exactly. And, you know, having been a traditional woman of science and in corporate pharma and managing people, I. Now that I reflect on it, I realize that even in my younger career days, like, what I really enjoyed was looking at people's trends and, you know, shining light on them in their best ability. So typically in regulated industries, you always have these, uh, roles that are defined that you are supposed to deliver X, Y and Z. And some of us are good at X and some of us are good at Z. Right. And forcing people in a box was not delivering what was best for the organization and ourselves. Now, this is a lot of new thinking, but 40 years ago, I was expected to wear a pantyhose and, uh, a pencil skirt and a jacket and go on manufacturing floors and climb up those stairs. It was different time. And even then I realized that it was so rewarding for me personally, not what the outcome of that particular project was or how we solved the problem, but how these people came together as a unit with strengths from each of them. And so that whole idea of looking at, uh, what is within us, that sort of strongest suit and shining light on that was always something that I really, truly enjoy.

Speaker A: Um, so this is great. So you said a lot in that little segment there. But I just want people to understand exactly what, where you came from. Right. So if you can just describe, like, what your role was in the science field, um, what type of organization you worked for. Because we have people who are listening who are in those settings right now. Right. They're senior leaders. Um, and so can you just share a little bit about what life looked like then?

Speaker B: Oh, wow. I was young, raising children, young family. I got my PhD in pharmaceutical sciences and then I worked in big pharma. Um, and within a very short period, I went from a bench scientist to actually managing people and then rose up through the ranks. And somewhere along the line, um, it was one of those other, uh, itches that told me, you know what, I need to leave this, because it was not giving me the work life balance I was looking for. So I became an entrepreneur in the pharmaceutical field. A friend of mine and I started a company together. And that went on for a few years. And then I said, okay, taking a break from there. And then, um, I started consulting in pharma. And while I was consulting in pharma, it was always that, you know, the client first comes first, the work comes first. And my father was dying in a hospital room and I was in the cafeteria on a call with. Because, you know, there was some FDA emergency that I needed to address.

Speaker A: Yeah.

Speaker B: But that kind of was, uh, one of those moments. Right. You don't realize it, but it was a moment when I came home and I told my husband, I can't do this. Like, I really do not want to have to choose. You see your parents at a certain age and you realize that there are, like, limited moments with them. So that's when I took a little break and photography ended up in my. This thing. So in my former role, I was a director, a manager. I was a vp. I was, you know, Ben scientist. All along the way, um, managing people was something I truly, truly enjoyed. And like I said, you know, showing them what their strengths are and growing in their careers based on the strengths.

Speaker A: Right.

Speaker B: You know, that 360 feedback that came, which is like, oh, these are your opportunities that you need to work on that. But let's also make sure that our strengths rise to the top as well. With the cream. And then, um, as an entrepreneur, that was a completely different ball game. Moving from big pharma to being an entrepreneur in a startup. And I still actually continue to, um, service the pharma industry. Uh, a little bit of my brain still gets used and again, there my role is. And as strategic alliance managers. So I. A lot of virtual pharmaceutical companies outsource a lot of their work and the science gets talked about. But in totality, how do you manage those relationships that you move forward with? That's what I work on.

Speaker A: Wow. And so I would want to challenge the listeners now, as they're hearing your story, um, seeing where you've come from and how you've evolved over time, is to even think differently about their careers. Right. So I remember when I first started out, there was a colleague who said she did not, she did not look at her career as something as linear, Right. Like climbing the corporate ladder. She saw her career as horizontal. And so that was really a mindset shift for me. And this was early in my career and I was like. And I, I believe I adopted that. Or maybe it was prophetic. She was just letting me know, hey. And kind of since then I've seen my career as more as like being on God's special ops team, you know, and going where I'm assigned for the mission, whatever my assignment is. I see this big aha moment.

Speaker B: Yes.

Speaker A: And so, um, and it's twofold. There's definitely a very practical element to it. Right. So, like, I've been brought in to revamp their organizational structure as it relates to being able to increase the quantity and quality of communications. Right. Or going in. Because there were these high stakes moments in communications, dealing with crises or very important issues or just raising the visibility of the organization. Right. So there's a very practical element to it. But at the same time, there have been these very, um, instrumental moments with people in their lives. Right. And knowing that I was placed at that moment in time to cross their path, whether they've poured into me or I've poured into someone else. Right. So I can just think of conversations and prayers and, um, strategy even to help them move forward. And so I just want to encourage people to just kind of think about their career from that perspective. Um, and very much as I see how your career has evolved. Right. You've been in corporate, entrepreneurship, consulting, photography. It sounds like you may have adopted that type of philosophy as well. Yeah.

Speaker B: And you know, you talked about like a horizontal. I always think of careers or life in general as a wave. Right. These waves rise and fall. And I think the important thing is when you are in that valley or when you're at the lower end of the wave, um, that's where the mindset shifts, really help you because you could stay down there and you know, just be swirling around. But you know that there are opportunities out there that your strength and your skill can be translated in any field. Right. And if my thing was about being able to manage a group of stem individuals and bring up their strength, I literally took that into photography. Now, you know, I'll be very honest with you, it didn't come right away, right, like, because when I changed that, uh, career, took on photography, it was again, I went back into my scientist mind saying, do I know the camera settings, do I know the lighting? Right. Those are all the technical aspects. But that's not what made me happy as a photographer. It was the soft side of it, like, you know, seeing the transformation in people. And I realized I was doing more coaching and less photography when I was photographing people. Right, right. So that in itself kind of was it involved into then a full blown coaching. And it's all in the mindset. It's all in the mindset. It's in the language we talk with ourselves, right. The words we speak, what our, uh, subconscious is holding on to, releasing that, recognizing that it's all that will then show you all the paths to possibilities.

Speaker A: So it's interesting because certainly you could have thought, well, I got my PhD, you know, was that for nothing, you know, or, you know, I've, I've dedicated so much time investing so much time in a certain track, and I would think that that is some type of mindset that people would have to overcome. Right. So, you know, my philosophy is nothing is wasted. Right. So the skills that you've acquired, like even your analytical thinking, when you're talking about the camera settings and the technology part of it, that stays with you, you don't lose that, you just reuse it in a different way. But what are some practical things that you think people can do to one, recognize that they have a mindset issue that's preventing them from living their most footballing, filling life. And then how do they overcome that?

Speaker B: I, um, you know, the interesting thing about mindset and belief systems that are kind of ingrained into us, um, they're not obvious. So when I think this is the easiest way to say, like, let's say you have a goal, you had that goal in 2022, you put it on saying, this year I will be running A marathon or whatever that is. Right. Or this year I will start. Start my business on the side. And 23 comes, four comes, five comes, now six is here. And you still have the same goal. You don't want to let go of it. You've made some small progress towards it, but then you stop. You start and you stop. The question to ask, uh, is what are you afraid of that is going to either make you successful because sometimes you are afraid of success.

Speaker A: Yes.

Speaker B: Right. Success takes you away from what you know right now. The people surrounding you m. They may have defined your success a certain way and that you've taken on. So if you find that there is one thing that you want to achieve, you make progress and yet you keep stopping yourself from moving forward. Each time you take it on, there's something that's holding you back and that's sitting down with it and really being honest about if I succeed, who would I please? Who would I not please? If I fail, who would be happy with it? Who would not be happy with it? So that's the people aspect. Right. Then similarly there is the uh, financial aspect because we take risks when we make these kind of changes. So having those pieces all in place and still having fear of money, that's something that holds you back. And um, once you start sitting down and recognizing it, going deeper into it is truly helpful.

Speaker A: Well, you mentioned in your bio that it cost you.

Speaker B: Yeah.

Speaker A: To pursue your passion and what you believe is your purpose. Can you talk about some of those costs?

Speaker B: And it's, it's cost that if I was smart enough, I would have made sure they were not there. Right, Right.

Speaker A: Yeah, yeah.

Speaker B: Um, it's a financial cost because, you know, that's huge. I was fortunate that we were a two income family and we could manage. So I do not mean to discount at all, um, the fact that you need to make sure that you have a decent amount of savings, um, that's going to pull you through. Um, because success is not guaranteed when you start something anew. Also, I think what it cost me and my own mental sanity about what my identity was and how that related to my everyday living. So both me and my husband were in pharma and our whole, um, social capital was in pharma. Um, and like you said, you know, having a PhD and even now when I talk about it, I feel it in my body, but now I recognize that there is this, this feeling that as I'm talking about it, but it was, um, it was my m. Identity was a woman who, you know, moved To America as a young age with a suitcase, $8, you know, got her PhD, had a successful career. And, um, so whenever we would socialize, I would actually not say something. Someone would say, oh, so you left. Blah, blah, blah, blah. What are you doing now? Um, I'm just trying to figure out. I'm consulting. Like, I had a studio. Like, I was photographing people, but I wasn't saying that. And it, it was always that I hid what was my passion because I felt like my value would be diminished in front of these people.

Speaker A: I understand completely.

Speaker B: And I still had, like, you know, older relatives because the, the environment I grew up in. You were going to be a doctor. Lawyer, engineer. Right. Like, and so. Oh, you're not a doctor. But anyways, you have a PhD. That's doctor. That counts. Oh, yay, yay, yay. Right. You have a job. You're leaving that job. And so up, um, until two years ago, I'd still have my elders telling me, so when are you going to go back to it? Or the assumption that the arts don't pay? That's a huge one.

Speaker A: Right?

Speaker B: The arts do not pay. You. And I. I would have said, that's across the board, across the world. In fact, I was just listening to Theo of Golden, an amazing book, if you haven't, uh, read it. And in there there's an artist who talks about, you know, um, how he never meant to make money as an artist. Right. So, um, again, it was like, you know, what photographer. Oh, it's a nice hobby. No, it's not a hobby. I actually run it as a business.

Speaker A: Yeah.

Speaker B: And I know many photographers who are far more successful, um, money wise, if that's how you can success. Right. Um, than somebody who has a corporate job. But it's so. It was very hard. And I remember, actually, I remember the very moment I, um, I husband, had a group of people that reported to him in England. So one year he took a trip and I joined him on July 4th, around that time. And one dinner, they. I joined them for dinner. And there was a room full of people who did not know me. And they asked me, what do you do? And I said, I'm a photographer. And I came back to the hotel room that night and I cried because I said I had never had the nerve to say that in front of people. And so what was it about being in front of strangers that I could hold my head high.

Speaker A: Right.

Speaker B: Say it. But not in the group of people that know me.

Speaker A: M. Yeah. Yeah. Well, this is the thing that I've learned. Because there's always going to be critics, right? There's always going to be critics. And you have to get to the point where you believe in your dream, because if you don't, no one else will ever. You have to believe in it first. And not everyone will come on board. But then, you know what? Maybe those aren't the people that need to come on board. Right. So, um, one of the things that I would say to, to people who find themselves in that position where they don't really have the, the courage to, um, to articulate what it is that they do and stand on it firmly is one to try to prepare. Right. So it's almost like when you're prepping someone for a media interview, like, you know what I mean? So sometimes that helps when you already have what you want to say, you know, and so you're not trying to think of it on the cuff. But then also know that for anyone who's been on the corporate side, so many people are not happy, you know, um, their life is not better. Just because they have a corporate job doesn't mean their finances are right. In many cases, it's not because they are trying to portray some type of image that they cannot afford. But then also, I tell you, with the AI Disruptor, there's no guarantees right now on what track will be successful. Um, on what the industry will look like for any sector. Yeah.

Speaker B: Five years ago there were no apps, or 10 years ago there were no apps. Right.

Speaker A: You're right. So, um, you know, so it's best to pursue what it is that you're meant to pursue and do that well and find your audience. And that's what it's about. And, you know, with this podcast, it's about identifying your audience and being able to, um, establish a firm personal brand that can help propel your career and your calling. Right. It's all about finding the ones that you are meant to serve and serving them well.

Speaker B: Uh, and, you know, to add on to that too, like, if you are in a corporate career that, that you truly enjoy, but you also have a passion which is not related to that field. A lot of times I find people saying, you know, but I'm all set here. There is no reason for me to pursue that. Absolutely not in today. Like, you know, the gig economy is now no longer a stronghold, but you can have multiple paths. Like, I do wear two, three hats right now, you know, and I enjoy doing every one of them. I mean, obviously coaching is my big thing in terms of mindset. Coaching but it also, I do enjoy photographing people. So, you know, I do incorporate that as part of my retreat in coaching. I do consult on pharma. It's possible. Possible to do multiple things.

Speaker A: Yes.

Speaker B: Um, but you have to be also cognizant of taking time for yourself because sometimes in that hustle environment, you lose yourself too.

Speaker A: Mhm. Mhm. So you just talked about your coaching, um, business. You want to talk a little bit more about that? What services you offer? Um, who is your ideal client?

Speaker B: Uh, it's, uh, so funny. I work a lot with women, but I also get a lot of male clients because the women I work with, they send their mails over to me. So, um, but my passion is to help any woman in the science STEM field, um, with mindset blocks that is preventing her from making that big bold leap. So it could be simple things like, you know, that publication standing up to make sure that she's the first author in that. Right?

Speaker A: Yes.

Speaker B: It could be asking for that promotion. Not waiting, not waiting that somebody will, you know, you will build it and they will come kind of situation. Mhm. Um, I work with a lot of Southeast Asian, Asian, um, Middle Eastern, Latino women because we also have this cultural, um, cocoon I'm gonna call it, you know, that has led to specific conditioning that prevents us either from seeing opportunities that are out there or pursuing those opportunities, um, whether it is in entrepreneurship or leadership and sometimes even in life. Um, in terms of how I work with my clients, I do one on one coaching. So and I have a, um, specifically designed package for people who are very busy and want to work very quickly. I do have a package where we work on your beliefs, your identity and values. Like, once you establish those, it's very easy then to make the right decisions, no matter what. Right. Because that's the foundation. That's like the three legs of your tripod. Um, sometimes they work long term after that, sometimes that's just an introduction and that's all they need. Um, I also run a community group called Courageous Chutney Church.

Speaker A: Say that one more time.

Speaker B: Yeah, isn't it a mouthful? So courageous. Because we want to be courageous. Yes, me, because, you know, we're all layered. Like chutney has all kinds of different flavors to it. Yeah. And charja actually means a conversation. So it's, uh, uh, no cost community group. Uh, sometimes I hold them in person in New Jersey and sometimes I do them virtually. We've taken a hiatus in the summer, but I'll kick that back off again. And, um, it's just we have a topic of different conversation like the courage to say no or courage to begin again or uh, you know, sometimes it's about uh, how to deal with your nervous system when you have teenage teenagers going to school and you know, school calendar. So different topics, women come together and we just talk like there's, you know, so that's one thing that I'm very passionate about because I want every woman to feel that she has someone who's going through what she is and she's not alone. And we can talk about that. And then, um, if you're local in New Jersey. New Jersey Conference for Women is coming up October 23rd. I'm uh, I'm doing a workshop there about.

Speaker A: Oh, excellent.

Speaker B: Yeah. And it's how not to be the best kept secret in the room.

Speaker A: Mhm.

Speaker B: Uh, you know, so it's about visibility. So I also offer myself to talk about things in workshop settings as well. So.

Speaker A: Yeah, that's great. That's great. So if there's one final thought that you would like to leave our listeners with, what is that?

Speaker B: You have it in you to do whatever your heart desires. Slow down and find it.

Speaker A: Well, there you have it. That's awesome. How can people find you?

Speaker B: Oh, how can they find. I have a website. It's called you Shine Mindset coaching dot com. Um, I'm on Instagram, but I do a lot of funny reels. Not so funny reels. And again at you Shine Mindset coaching. I love talking to people on the phone. So if you're on my website, just set up a mindset mapping call. I love meeting people. Um, and then on LinkedIn, I'm as Kapoo Kalpana Patel. So Kalpana is my actual full name and so that's how I'm on LinkedIn.

Speaker A: Excellent. That's great. So there you have it. People know how to connect with you. If you want to get over those mind blocks and regulate your nervous system, then Kapu is the person for you. So thank you for being here today. Thank you for sharing your story. Um, I'm sure people will get some nuggets that are able to apply to their lives and um, we wish you well with all of your endeavors. Thank you so very much for being here.

Speaker B: Well, thank you for hosting me. I really enjoyed our conversation and I love your energy. It's just so beautiful. So I'm going to carry that all day long today.

Speaker A: Oh, thank you so much. Thank you. Hey, ambitious leader. I hope you enjoyed today's episode. If so, would you take 30 seconds and share with another leader who you want to encourage. Also, please leave a quick review for the show on Apple Podcasts. I just get so energized to know this podcast is helping you. Okay, I'm going to take one step today to let my leadership shine. What about you? God, uh, willing meet you back next week week for another episode.