From Concussions to Championships: How Vulnerability and Team-First Thinking Create Elite Leaders

Speaker A: Welcome to the Teamwork Advantage podcast with Greg Gregory, founder of TeamsRock.com. join us as Greg interviews thought leaders and successful team and leadership experts from professional sports to manufacturing to business and industry. Now let's join Greg for another powerful episode of the Teamwork Advantage. Welcome back to the Teamwork Advantage. Hi, everybody. Greg Gregory here, founder and creator of the Teamwork Advantage podcast. And hey, guess what? It's been a while since we've done a podcast. We're being very selective on who we're bringing on board these days because we want to get real practitioners out there that have real stories that are really powerful, showing you all of the great tools that are out there. And we're bringing it to you, people from business, from spiritual lives to military to sports and athletics. And of course, when people think teamwork, most people think about some kind of sport like baseball, football, basketball, hockey. Well, today we're going to talk about something quite a bit different, and it is on the elite level, and that's something called synchronized skating at the Olympic levels. So with that in mind, let's talk a little bit about who we have today. We have Emilia Asparian, and she's a 2022, so just a couple of years ago, synchronized skating world champion who knows firsthand that winning doesn't always. And this is key, folks, this is really key. Doesn't always look like gold medals. Her journey through this elite sport was marked by incredible highs and of course, incredibly big setbacks, injuries, identity, loss, and moments where she questioned everything, including her place on her very own team. What makes this story so powerful is that what happened behind the scenes, the vulnerability, the power of vulnerability, folks, there it is, is what it takes to let go of the ego, the strength it took to support her team even when she was not able to or was not competing with them, but being able to support the team, the growth and all from rebuilding herself after injuries. Today, Amelia shares a story to inspire and honest conversations about what it really takes to be a great teammate, resilient leader, not just in sport, but in life. And there we are, folks. Our podcast really wants to help you focus in on how you can do things in life as well as business as well as sports. Her mission is very simple, to remind others that they're not alone and that there is strength in showing your full and imperfect self. Amelia, welcome to the Teamwork Advantage.

Speaker B: Thank you, Greg. I'm very happy to be here. I'm honored. Thank you.

Speaker A: This is really exciting. To get the elite level professional athletes is something I really like to try and get from time to time. So this is really exciting because I've never really studied synchronized skating. Of course, we've watched synchronized swimming. I've studied a lot of. I've watched a lot of figure skating over the years. You know, I've seen some great things. It's just fascinating when you start to think about synchronized skating. Of course, most of our listeners will know that the word synchronization is one of our key elements in building a team on purpose. So I want to get back and just kind of start. Give us a little background. I mean, you're young by comparison in age and stature, but you're almost old in the world of elite athletes and competing at the Olympic levels. So tell me a little bit. When did you first start to get the inkling you liked figure skating and then going, how did you decide to go to synchronized versus figure skating versus ice dancing versus hockey? I mean, you are from Montreal, so you're Canadian, so, you know, you gotta go through the hockey there.

Speaker B: Yeah, no, for sure. It's a great question. Um, so if we start back at the beginning of my story. I was, um, a super shy kid. Ah, didn't really want to do much. Um, I was into school, but I always liked to move. I wanted to park with my parents, like, I guess like any other kid would. Uh, my parents really saw the importance of athletics and what it would teach you in different aspects of life. Discipline, time management, um, all these things like this. Um, so they put me into soccer and tennis as a young kid, and I was like, oh, this is fun. I could do this. All these things. Then my mom was a figure skater, and she's like, hey, Amelia. Like, I just really want you to try. You know, it's like kind of like my thing. I want you. I want to share that passion with you. So, like, okay, let's do it. I get thrown on the ice at the age of seven, and I was like, oh, my God. This is not for me. This is awful. It's cold. You. The ice is hard. I'm falling, and it hurts everywhere. This is not for me. Get me out of here. She was pretty persistent, I must say, so today I thank her. But back then, I was not thanking her. I would say a couple weeks of, uh, bawling my eyes out. Get me off this ice. Get me off this ice. Get me off this ice. And then I don't remember the turning point, but there was definitely a turning point, clearly, because I was like, oh, my God, I never want to get off this ice, I love it here. It's fresh. I'm gliding. I feel like I'm flying. And that's kind of when I think my love for it just flourished. Um, so I started an individual skating where I was jumping and I was spinning and I was doing all that stuff by myself. And then I received an injury that I. I fractured a vertebrae in my. In my L4, L5. Um, so I was no longer allowed to do the impacts because I was in, um. We call it like a SPIT program. So, like, sports and education, our link. So the school. I would finish school around noon. I would go train till about, like, five, six o' clock from Monday to Friday. I think I was overtraining a little bit or not training correctly. So my body was just honestly, very tired. So I fractured a vertebrae. And then right before then, I had also gotten a concussion. My first concussion of my. My story.

Speaker A: First concussion, yes.

Speaker B: It's. You'll see. It's a huge part of my story. Um, that was in 2016. Um, so then I went to a lot of doctor's appointments, and I was trying to negotiate because I was really not ready to hang up my skates. I had not done anything near to what I wanted to do in the sport. Um, so then there was a lot of crying in doctor's offices. Like, kind of like in the movies where it's like, it's unreal. I can't believe I'm done. And I was really not ready to be done at 16. There was no way. Um, so then I had a teammate of mine. Um, she. The one that introduced me to synchronized skating. I didn't know what this was. I had only seen it in, like, little shows. I didn't know you can go international and be competitive with this. And I was like, okay, like, let me go try it out. Since jumping is no longer in. In the horizon, I'm like, okay, let's turn over a new leaf. Let's try it out. So I went to a tryout for a team, uh, here locally, and I was like, oh, my God, this is actually very cool. Like, this is very cool. Like, I'm holding on to people and we're gaining speed together, and we're effortlessly gliding across the ice and were changing shape. And I was like, this is a whole new branch of skating that I never even knew existed. And then a new love for it kind of grew. And I was like, oh, my God. Okay. Like, let me do this. Let's do this. Um, so then I did. That year, I had a Great time. But even throughout that. That year, I was still receiving my concussion symptoms. I had spent a good 11 months off the ice, off and on, off and on, seeing medical professionals, and they were saying, like, amelia, you're fine. It's all in your head. You're passing our test with flying colors. And I'm like, okay, great. If you say I'm fine, then I'm fine. I must be crazy. No problem. I'll take it. So if you. I can go back on the ice, I will gladly go back on the ice. Fast forward. Um, we're now 2018. Um, I was still. Now officially, I had made the national team. So I was skating at the junior level. Um, we were in Austria at a training camp before our, uh, competition. And I hit my head again on the ice. I had tripped. We were in a. In a formation, a block formation. Uh, a couple girls behind me had fallen. And since we skate so close together and we're going at a decent speed, I didn't have time to react. I didn't know that she had fallen. So I kind of slipped, like, on a banana peel. And I had hit the back of my head on the ice. Um, and my coach, knowing my concussion passed was, like, chasing me down. Amelia, stop, stop, stop. But our instinct is the music's playing, so I get up and I keep going no matter how I'm feeling. Right? Um, but now she stopped the music, because then she knew I would stop, and she pulled me off the ice. Um, and at that night, I had gone to the hospital with the team manager just to double check everything was okay. I was again diagnosed then with the second concussion. So I was like, oh, my God. I came all the way to Austria. I'm letting my team down. I hit my head again, and I was stressing out. Um, another six months of rehab, often on the ice. I then get another one, another concussion, kind of during the COVID after Covid, we had a year that we were training on our phones, on our laptops, in our basements, by ourselves. Kind of. Everyone had a hard time with that, but our coaches did a fantastic job keeping us connected. And we were training all together on Zoom. So that rest time was essential for my recovery. As awful as it was for the world, it was really good for me to kind of stay home and be forced to stay off the ice. And I didn't feel that pressure and guilt that I wasn't on the ice, I wasn't at the arena. Um, so that really helped. And then we kind of got back on the Ice. And we were super excited. And it was like, oh, my God, we're finally back here. And since 2016, I was finally symptom free, and now we're in 2021. And I hit my head again, and I was like, oh, there's no way. There's no way this is happening to me. So my third one, I had a very big emotional crash. After spending thousands of dollars in, in recovery and countless of hours off the ice and doing grueling treatments and uncomfortable things and getting there to pushing myself, proving people I could do it and I can get back on the ice. I finally did. And then, bam. Um, again, then I was like, I had a good conversation. My medical team, and they're like, amelia, like, you need to decide what's your, your priority, whether it's health and longevity or your athletic career. And obviously, you ask an athlete that. And most of the time they're going to say, it's my athletic career, like, my longevity, like, I'll be fine. I'm always fine. Everything's always fine. Right? That's our famous.

Speaker A: Yeah, I remember Lindsey Vaughn saying something very similar.

Speaker B: That's it. You're always fine. Don't worry about it. I'm going to be okay. Um, but then I had negotiated again with my medical team. Give me one more year. Give me the 2022 season. Give me one more year just to be with my team, be on the ice, and then I will pack it up. I promise. That's what I did. So I had the 2022 year. We had, uh, off and on season with the pandemic. It was super tough. And then we won Worlds. And I was like, okay, fine, you can have my skates. But now I'm coaching. So it was my way to negotiate, stay on the ice, but not as an athlete. Okay, so as a quick summary. Fast, fast. That's mine.

Speaker A: So that's really, really fascinating when you stop to think about it. So tell me about those early days when you're working towards the elite side of things. Practice. Listen, uh, how many hours a day were you practicing?

Speaker B: Um, hours a day. It would depend the day. Right. Because since we don't have that professional status, we're not paid. So a lot of us were in school, we were working, and we were training. And they also want to throw in, like, some family and life balance in there as well. Um, but hours, let's say in a week. It was roughly 20 to 25 hours in a week. Um, that includes often on the ice, of course. Right. And then also Figure skating has, like, the artistic side of it as well. So I would say roughly 20, 25 hours a week, we're dedicated to the training with the team. And then if you were to do stuff outside, which most of us did, then, you know, that would be additional work.

Speaker A: Okay. When you mentioned a little bit ago about your coach coming and taking you off the ice and pulling you up, you didn't want to get off. I never played professional sports by any stretch. I was never the elite athlete. I loved my sports, and if I got hurt, I just kept playing. I mean, whatever. So I get that.

Speaker B: That's exactly it.

Speaker A: Now, here's my question. Thinking about that, when your coach pulled you off the ice, obviously you didn't like that, but what did you learn from that? What did that? What did that moment teach you?

Speaker B: Honestly, I always had respect for. For this woman and my coaching team. Always, always massive respect. That's why I decided to go skate for them. Um, but in that moment, I learned one that it's not that, like, I'm not just a number. I'm not just an athlete to execute movements. I'm a human that has a life and that has, like, I. I matter. And as. As silly as that sounds, like the years before, it was. Amelia, execute. Get it done. You're passing your test. Great. Go skate. You're fine. You're fine. And now, for the first time, I was telling her, like, no, I'm fine. Don't worry about me. I'm okay. And she's like, no, no, you're not fine. And even if you are, great, even better. But have a seat. Sit down. And I had to let go of my ego side and be like, I'm always fine. I don't need anything, and I'm going to be okay. To. You know what? I. It is nice to. That she is checking my head if I'm bleeding. And it is nice that I'm, uh, sitting down, that my team is telling me, emilia, you're so important to us. Please sit down. Relax. You're going to be okay. And I was really resistant to that. I'm always. No, no, no, no. It's okay. Okay. I'm fine. I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine. But clearly, I was not fine because I needed another six months off. So, honestly, I tip my hat. And I will forever be grateful for that moment and for those coaches forever.

Speaker A: When we think about getting pulled off and everything else, you're right. We feel like we're letting down our teammates. You feel like Wait a minute. I don't want to lose my spot. And you don't want to be vulnerable. And quite frankly, in any capacity, vulnerability is critical to a great leader on and off the ice, whether you are, uh, the teammate or you're the coach. Allowing yourself to be vulnerable. And I think that's so powerful. I'm proud of you for doing that. And it's amazing that you're sharing this powerful part of your story. Let's shift it from Amelia now specifically to the synchronized swimming, or, excuse me, synchronized skating. Shift it to that. Many people may not be aware of synchronized skating. So how many skaters, uh, are on the ice? How does that all work? Tell us a little bit of the fundamentals, as if we know nothing.

Speaker B: Okay. Um, so for a synchronized skating team, typically we're 20 on the team, and 16 skate, um, come to the junior and senior levels, the two highest levels. There's two programs. There's a short program and a long program. The short and long is just the time of the music. One is shorter, one is longer. Um, and it's the same 20, uh, girls that are part of the team for both programs. So let's say one team, Team A will have a short program and a long program. Um, so how it works is that the 16 that skate, the ones that aren't, they're switching with a spot. So, example, Greg, if you and I, we were on the same team and we were both switching, would learn the exact same spots. We would learn spot X, and we know the exact same thing. Then our coaches would decide, is Greg or is Amelia going to skate the long program at so and so's competition?

Speaker A: That's the other one could skate. The other one could skate the short program.

Speaker B: Yeah, but the other. And then maybe they're switching with someone else. And doesn't mean, like, if we're switching for the long, that wouldn't necessarily mean that we are also switching for the short program. Honestly, building a synchronized skating program, it's. It's, um, it's a beautiful puzzle. It's the coaches really see the strengths of each skater and how they could be, how they can flourish on the ice and how they can complement each other's strengths. And so you kind of have the same. You kind of find people that share the same strengths, put them in the same spot. And obviously, you. Ideally, you want the strongest 16 to skate.

Speaker A: Right?

Speaker B: So then again, that's, uh, a whole ego thing as well. Right? You don't want to lose your spot, but you also want your team to have the strongest 16 on the ice. So if that means that you. It means that you're not skating one program, you need to show up for your team in a way that benefits them and not in a way that, like, you're a little upset that you're not skating. For sure. Emotions come into it, but, I mean, it's the team over everything. It's the results over everything.

Speaker A: How do you get 20 people with massive egos to focus and become one?

Speaker B: Greg, uh, that is a great, great question. And honestly, it's. There's no black and white answer for that one. Every year it's different. Some girls do return, but every year it's not the same 20. So every year you reassess personalities, you review. Everyone comes in with their own story. It's kind of a new puzzle, a new start every single season. Uh, how do you do it? Honestly, you share the common goal. What is the goal? Why are we all here at five in the morning on a Sunday when everyone's having a nice morning in and a brunch? You know, why are we here? And then if the team's why is stronger than their ego, it works. It really, really works. And then if some people need a bit more understanding, like, how come I wasn't taken? The coaches gladly take the time. One on one or the team. We're all there for each other. Always. Always. Always. As much as, like, you're close with everyone, you have your specific people on the team for specific things. I think like anything in life, you have your resource people. And honestly, I think it comes down to what. What's the why? Why are we here? And then if, if that why is greater than what your ego is, then it, it works beautifully. It works. You're there for each other.

Speaker A: You just hit a magic word. The why. Absolutely. A magic word. Uh, we've had several of our guests over the, uh, couple of years here, and they all talk about the power of why and understanding that. Because knowing how is one thing, but knowing why is another, and then recognizing that why when you're sitting on the bench. Why am I sitting on the bench? Understanding that is. It's better for the whole team. Maybe you just skated too much this week, and they think somebody else could do something a little stronger because you've been skating so much or maybe you're better at, uh, doing this one particular spin of something that they want to put into this particular program. So it's exactly it.

Speaker B: Yeah, that's exactly. And if I use our pandemic season as an Example, to enhance exactly what you're saying we was. We were competing against people all over the world, right? And during the pandemic, different countries had different realities. Some people were completely shut down, some people were not. But here in Montreal, we were in the red zone for a very long time. So on a lucky month, we were able to skate, but we were half the team on the ice, and we weren't allowed to touch, and we had to be a certain distance and all these rules. Synchronized skating is very tough to not be so close. That's how our elements work. You, you have to physically hold each other, to make the lines pivot and to stay aligned and to work together. We were on zoom for a year, off and on. So our training was in our basement. So while families were having like, their little get togethers in the backyard, like, you're alone in your basement training. So, like, what's your. Why, like, why am I doing this? And people were asking us all the time, what are you doing? Wrap it up. It's done. Why are you doing it? But we stuck together, the coaches, the team on those hard moments. We all stuck together going towards our, uh. Why? Because we all have the same destination. We wanted to compete at the world championships knowing that our competitors were training like normal. They had the ice all the time. They were training, attached, they were building their programs. Whereas us, we were in our basements. We weren't even touching ice. So again, so who's skating, who's not? Our goal was to get there and to be there, all together, all healthy, with a negative COVID test to be able to compete. That was our goal. So every member on that team, whether on the ice or not, played a crucial role. Whether it was notetaking, video taking, whatever it was, all 20 played an essential role. And it wasn't just the athletic, uh, contribution. It was every perspective was very necessary to get us to the top. Where we got.

Speaker A: Did they hold those that weren't necessarily skating? Did they bring to you, hey, listen, I saw this, or I recognize that, or I really like that. Were they holding the skaters accountable when they did that?

Speaker B: In what sense? When they weren't.

Speaker A: If they were videoing and they saw you do something that was really good or maybe not really good, and they would come to you, would they, in essence, be holding each other accountable while you're going through that, to help build the team?

Speaker B: For sure. For sure. I mean, we tried. We tried to, in a way, avoid teammates, correcting teammates. That's when, like, you know, ego kind of hits into It. And also the coaches are there for that reason. Maybe they're. I don't know. Maybe, Greg, you're doing something that the coaches want, but I think it looks funky. And I'm telling you, no, Greg, don't do that. That's what the coaches want. It kind of creates a miscommunication, so we kind of let the correcting go to the coaches. For example, videos were taken. We had, like, a shared group on. On Facebook. Videos were posted, and you were told to analyze yourself, analyze your line. What works, what doesn't, why doesn't it work? There's a lot of. It was a new way of training. We were used to physically being there and physically putting in the work. But now we were really pulled back from that, and we had to learn a different way. We honestly, we all of us came back stronger, physically, mentally, and even emotionally stronger.

Speaker A: Yeah. When people start getting into that and then those egos start to come in, how important is trust?

Speaker B: It's everything. It's everything. Trust your coaches. Like, why. It's not, like, why they choose her over me. Like, it's not personal. There's a reason why. Trust your coaches. Trust their process. Trust their experience. Trust your team. Trust that, uh, she can do the job. She's stronger. Trust that. Oh, it's Greg. It's everything. Trust yourself. Trust that you are still a good skater, but that for this specific competition, you are not the. The one to go with for that specific program, and that's okay. Trust the process. Trust your process. Trust their process. Trust it.

Speaker A: What's it like trying to get 20 people from. Hi, I'm Greg. I'm a skater. Okay. To be synchronized, to pull off a routine like that. How hard is the synchronization aspect? Because it is, after all, synchronized skating.

Speaker B: Absolutely. Absolutely. No, it's. It's a lot of work. It's a lot of meticulous details. And at a certain level, um, we had skaters coming from all over the world. We had Finland, we had France, and even different places in Canada. And everyone skates a little different. Everyone was taught how to skate a little differently. So techniques are a bit different. So just a simple forward push can look different between you and I. But on a team, they need to kind of, ish. Look more the same. So at the beginning of the season, it's a lot of skating skills where we go back to the basics. Where are my arms? Where are m. My feet? How are m. My toes? What angle are we at? 45. Are we pushing at 90 degrees? Are we straight where's our head? It's. It's very, very detailed. That's off and on the ice. Is it the most fun work, Greg? No. No, it is not. Does it take hours? Yes, it does. Absolutely. Do you show up regardless? Yes, absolutely. With a smile on your face and you get it done, and then after, when you build your program again, it's a lot off the ice. At, uh, what beat are we lifting? Our arm. We're lifting our arm. Okay. At what angle is it? Like this? Is it like this is it? It's very, very, very deep. A lot of video analysis on the ice. Off the ice. There's a lot of detail, a lot of precision and patience and time.

Speaker A: Yeah.

Speaker B: But it works and it's beautiful. It's a beautiful process.

Speaker A: You know, I look at that and I relate some of that into watching, um, the New York City Rockettes on there.

Speaker B: Exactly.

Speaker A: And how their legs, how everything is so precision. So synchronized is one thing. It's precision that's another. Because somebody who's 5 foot 5 versus 5 foot 7, they have a slight difference in how they raise their hand.

Speaker B: So for sure. And then that, too, is taken into account. Right. Well, you won't put a, um, girl that's 5:2 next to a girl at 6:1. Visually, it looks funky. And the judges, their eyes go straight there. So those girls, they. They better be on it, because if the judges are looking at them. So again, it's all very. There's a lot of strategy. A lot of strategy, and that's what makes it so beautiful. Because when people say, oh, it looks so easy, that's honestly the greatest compliment you can give. That means we're doing our job. We are doing our job. Right. If you think that lifting a girl in the splits over your head is easy, you know what I mean? Honestly, it's beautiful. It's beautiful. At the beginning of this, like, now we're at the beginning of the season for this year, and, you know, we're building and it's. It's tough and we're teaching and, you know, understanding what. What are these elements for the younger kids? And then just in a couple months from now, it'll look like a brand new team and a brand new program, and, uh, it'll be beautiful and flawless and effortless, and that process is beautiful. And the team gets closer and closer and closer together throughout that process.

Speaker A: So let's talk a little bit about you moving into coaching now, because it is a team sport. Where are you coaching? And tell me about the types of Things. Your history on the ice obviously gives you an advantage to understanding the process. How did you learn your ability to lead a team? Because, let's face it, leading a team is different than leading one person at a time.

Speaker B: For sure. For sure. Um, so to answer your first question, I'm coaching in St. Leonard, um, with the club that I skated with. Um, so one of my old teammates was coaching, uh, the younger levels at the time when we stopped skating, and we both ended our careers at the same time. And I was. I was speaking with her, like, just teammate to teammate, hey, like, I want to get into coaching. Like, what's your process? How do you think I should do it? Because she. She kind of, like, mentored me and is still to this day helping me out. And she was already working with another girl who was also, um, part of the club before, and they're like, listen, join our team. Join our team. It's going to. You're going to be a great addition. It's going to be so fun. And then I was again, another. Another teamwork part. I was like, oh, I don't know. I don't want to ruin the team and everything you guys already have built. I don't want to step into that. Like, I kind of just want to stay on the ice. I was pulled off as an athlete, but I'm really not ready to put my skates in the closet and have them collect dust. So, um. So anyway, great analogy.

Speaker A: I love. I love that analogy.

Speaker B: I couldn't fathom it. So, um, my skis are in my trunk now. They're always ready to go, and I'm in them every day, and it's. It's the best thing ever. But I work with them. And my last year on the team, I knew I wasn't going to compete. That was. That was the deal. I knew I wasn't. So the spot that I was switching with, I told the. My team that I was switching with, like, hey, like, you go in. Because how it works is you go in 50 of the time. So if they're doing it four times, I'll go in two times, and she'll go in two times. We get equal amount of training. But I was like, listen, I know I'm not competing. I'm not allowed to compete. I'm. My symptoms. I'm. It's a bit funky. I have good news. I have bad days. So I'm like, you go in all. All four times. And just. That was like, a huge realization for me to say, oh, my God, I'm not competing this year. So I'm like, how can I contribute to this team? How is my presence going to be helpful for these girls and my coaches if I can't athletically contribute? And I had to sit with that honestly for a while to be like this. And this sucks. This is really not cool. I want to skid, and I want to give, and I'm waking up at five at the crack of, like, with everyone else, and I'm not even competing, and I'm like, oh, my God, how can I help? How can I contribute? And I'm okay. I can contribute by my mindset, by my aura, the way I show up, my positivity to be a safe space for my team, to know that they're never alone. Um, listen, everyone has their thing. My teammates that were injured, come talk to me. I'll help you through it. Let's. Let's figure it out together, you know, like, we can. We'll build this together. I will help you in any way that I can. That was my. That was my role on the team. I got really good at reading. Ah. My teammates. People laugh at me now. They're like, you're a witch. How do you know what I'm thinking and how I feel? Because I spent a year studying you. That was my. That was my role. I took that upon myself to know. And it sounds so silly, but we were in Banff at a training camp, and one of my teammates, like, she had poorly planned her food, and she was so hungry, and, like, she was going down. Like, she was. She was hungry, the poor girl. And I was like, hey, listen, like, I have food, but you need it. No, I don't need it as much as you need it. Like, I'm. I'm willing to sacrifice what I need for what you guys need, because you guys are the ones athletically giving. And then again, they would give me in return. Like, I was able to show up as that teammate because I had a team behind me as well. Right. I wasn't the only one lifting everyone up. They were lifting me up as well.

Speaker A: Point really key, for sure, because you're coaching and so you're leading a team, and yet you've got another team at your level moving up. And so many people don't get that concept, you know, and that's really. I want to. I can't say that point enough there. That's really powerful to hear you say that because of understanding the multiple levels of teams, so.

Speaker B: Oh, for sure. Listen, I had a team at home. My parents, my Brother. My. My medical team. That team made me able to show up at the arena as the person that my team would have needed on the ice. But then I couldn't always show up with sprinkles and rainbows and all. All happy and skipping around all the time. You know, it's hard. Some days, it's. I. I was really upset and disappointed that I couldn't do it on every day when I was not feeling well, I was like, dang, after all those years, I still don't feel well, and I'm still nauseous, and I still see four Gregs. That. That's not normal. How come? And I was super upset about that. Then I had teammates that also knew me. Right. Like, I wish up for them, but they would show up for me, you know? Amelia, it's okay. You don't have to be perfect. You're here, and you being here is everything. And hearing those things, like, hearing that I'm contributing just as much as they were, and they were repeated to me over and over and over and just long enough for it to sink in, you know? And it took me even a while to even call myself an athlete, let alone a world champion. Like, every day, we. We all wear this. This necklace here, and it's like a replica of our medallion of our world medal. And it took me a while to even put it on me because I didn't feel like a world champion. And, uh, when he came back home, I really didn't. And then that's when my team stepped in for me. Emilia, you know, it wouldn't have been possible without you. You played a huge role in this. And hearing that over and over, they were. They showed up for me. So, again, teamwork, it's not just one person showing up for everyone. Those people are still showing up for everyone together. And then eventually, it. It makes a beautiful picture of, uh, people are willing to sacrifice their own stuff to make the engine roll smoothly on all aspects.

Speaker A: Yeah, it's. You just alluded to an area that I want to dive into a little bit, and that is. I'm not sure if you even know who Yogi Berra used to be. Uh, he's passed away. He was a Major League baseball player when I was a kid, so that should tell you something. Okay. Um, but he had some Yogi isms, and he was talking about, you know, 90, uh, percent of the game is mental. The other half, you have to think about.

Speaker B: Um,

Speaker A: but let's talk about that. I mean, skating at your level. Okay. It's an Emotional challenge. Whether you're Michael Phelps or Simone Biles, who are two prominent names talking about emotional in the elite athlete world, there's hundreds of others that are now coming forward to speak about challenges in business and everything else and how important it is. How. How did you handle all that pressure emotionally and mentally?

Speaker B: Oof. Greg honestly asked me this a couple years ago. I would say, I don't know. My answer to you would be, I don't know how I did it. Um, there. Most of the time, I feel like there wasn't even a choice to stop. Like, why do you keep showing up? Because I have to. You don't have to do anything. It was a choice. And now, stepping back from it, I realize that a lot that I wanted to be there. And even to this day, I. I still want to be there. How did I do it? My surroundings, my people, they. On days where I'm like, you know what, guys? I can't be tough for you anymore. I'm tapped, uh, out. I can't even be strong enough for myself, let alone show up for the person that you guys need, they flip the roles. We're going to be who you need now. We got you. You know, we're going to put you on our backs, and we're going to drag you across the finish line if we have to. Let me. They borrowed, I borrowed their trust in me and their belief in me when I didn't have any. So, um, the pressure of showing up, how did I do it? I kind of just did. I didn't let my mood dictate how I. What I did in a day. I didn't let how I felt decide what I did. It's. What's my plan? Follow the plan. When you feel better, great. When you. If you don't, great. Follow your plan. And on days that are harder, I had people, I had my coaches and my teammates, my parents, my friends, even my dog played a huge role, as funny as that sounds.

Speaker A: And no, that's not, uh. I'm chuckling because that's not funny. That is so, so true.

Speaker B: Yeah. Like, listen, the months that I spent in my bed, like, the little guy who was next to me and just. He was just there. He loved me. No. No matter if I was skating, if I was not, if I had three legs, if I had one arm, he was there. This little guy, he was there, you know? So, yeah, my dog played a huge role in that as well. And taking the pressure off coming home and my parents telling me, like, listen, you're not just A skater. You are not just a skater. And it's hard to realize that when it. It's your whole life. Is that, uh, the way you eat, the way you sleep, how long you sleep, when you see your friends, if you work, when you work, decides around your. Your training calendar. I would receive my calendar at the beginning of every month, and I would plug in my life around it. But now remove that calendar. Who am I? What am I? Where do I need to be? What's my purpose? What do I do? You know, so then coming home to my safe.

Speaker A: So your. Why changes, doesn't it?

Speaker B: Oh, absolutely. Absolutely. Who are you without your sport? Remove it from your life. What are you?

Speaker A: So how do you handle that? How do you handle that transition emotionally? I mean, uh, we said it in your introduction, so some incredible highs, and there's a lot of setbacks. When you had those concussions, those setbacks, there were obviously times you said, heck it, I just want to quit.

Speaker B: You know, oh, gosh.

Speaker A: But, oh, gosh, emotionally, that had to be draining on you. The pressure from people. Granted, you had great support system, but the pressure for you to continue to go and be strong. I applaud your coach for taking you off the ice with those concussions. Because, you know, when I was a child, those things didn't happen when you got hit, just get up and go. Wasn't even the thought process. So you stop and think, how did you. That emotion, those lows, those valleys, those peaks, how do you handle that? How do you keep yourself grounded?

Speaker B: Grounded. That's a. That's a. That's a big word. That's a great word. And, um, the coaches that you were mentioning before, that kind of rub some dirt on it, you're going to be fine. I hit my head, too, when I was a kid. And you know those typical lines, I had those. I. I had those coaches for many years. And that's when the mindset of, oh, I'm just a skater, I'm just a number. If I don't perform, I'm not worthy. If I can't skate, I'm. I don't need to be here. I'm not. They don't. They don't matter. I don't matter to them. Um, and then I changed clubs and I went to a different place. And that's what the club that I ended my skating career with. And then it was that conversation I had with my coach in Austria, example, and many other moments like that where I'm like, holy smokes, these people actually care about me. Not What I can do when I have my skates on or not, what I contribute, but me as a person, like, my life after the sport, which I never even bothered to think about, like, who cares after? At the time I was like 20. There's a lot after. Oh, yeah, hopefully, you know, there's a lot more to go.

Speaker A: Yeah.

Speaker B: And that was the first time that I was like, told, like, amelia, wait a minute. You're important. Your health matters. Like, and you know, your parents tell you this and your friends say this, but they're not in your elite bubble. So someone, the head of my elite bubble telling me, listen, you matter and you're really important with or without your skates. Take care of you. I was like, oh my God. Okay, so how do I stay grounded using them as my resource and then finding, um, I used to call like my dopamine menu of, uh. And I would sit down and I would write down things. What makes me feel like me, not Amelia the athlete, the best performer. No, what makes me Amelia, feel like child Amelia, when you're playing the Legion, all is well. I would write down, okay, going for walks, listening to music, going for a drive, getting a slush at the deponer with my dad. Example, um, going with my dog, some little dopamine menus that were not related to sport, nothing physical activity related. Because for sure, moving was an outlet. Training was an outlet for me mentally, physically. Remove that outlet. Now what? So now I can't skate and you're telling me I can't use my main outlet to feel better? What do you, what do you expect me to do? Sit in my room all day? And that's when you start to crash, when, okay, I'm seeing my team train. I'm seeing them get better, they're getting faster. How am I going to get back into the program if they're much faster? Now I'm out trained, I can't work out. I'm m deconditioned. What am I, what am I going to do? And then, you know, you start to spiral. You start to spiral and you're like, oh my God, I'm never going to make it back in time.

Speaker A: And that's when it turns into a big pity party.

Speaker B: Absolutely. Uh, boohoo. Poor me, big time. And you're like, enough's enough.

Speaker A: My mentor, Zig Ziglar, used to call it polymyitis. Poor little old me syndrome.

Speaker B: That's it. And it goes fast. It's like a snowball effect, know? And you just keep adding things into it. And your Your sport is your whole life. So if I'm not my sport, what am I then? That's when people like example, my dad, my mom, my brother, who my friends mill, you're not just a skater. You're an amazing daughter. You're a friend. You, I don't know, you do a bunch of things. You're not just a skater. And again, repeating it over and I'm like, hey, guys, like, I get it enough. No, it's not sinking in. And they would repeat it like a broken record. You're not just a skater. You're not just. And eventually I'm like, holy smokes. I'm not just a skater. You like, it finally clicked.

Speaker A: Like years later, your support group was everything.

Speaker B: Oh yeah, exactly, exactly. So then when, when skating was removed, how I dealt with that pressure is I would resource back to my dopamine menu and I would think, okay, I'm not just a skater. What makes a million me as a human being feel better? How do I calm myself down? Because no one's going to do it for me. I gotta show up for me. People can help as much as they want, but I need to be my favorite person and I need to shop for me. And if I don't, no one will. And if I want to be there for my team, I need to show up as my best version. And if I don't take care of me, I can't do that. So it always came back to, okay, me, how do I help me right now? And then, you know, just decompress the situation. It's going to be okay. A lot of phone calls with my coaches, the head of my medical team, she would pull over, that poor woman, my goodness. She would pull over her car on the side of the highway. I'm calling her. What do I do? I can't, um, train, you know, the whole thing. Honestly, without my people and my team, I couldn't be the teammate that I was for my team.

Speaker A: Great. You just said something really key. If you don't show up for yourself, that's critical. I think we get that. But showing up for yourself means knowing where to ask for help and when to ask for help.

Speaker B: Absolutely. That one took me a while to learn.

Speaker A: Oh, it takes a lot of people. And so let's transition now from skating a little bit because you're now going into coaching and you're teaching the leadership things. What have you learned in skating? And then how can we translate that to business, to private sector, to non profit groups leading people in an environment and of course translating into our own lives. I mean a lot of what you talk about right there is really critical for kids to hear, especially you know, high school kids today. So how do you translate some of that into reality today? Because we've got to get ready and start to wrap up.

Speaker B: Um, I would say, um, as a leader, it's important to know who you're surrounded with. It's important to know who your, who your athletes are or your co workers are or whatever environment you're in. Who are your surroundings who know them as people and not just as a performer that they're signed up to be. Not just. Okay, that's uh, Timothy the banker. No, no. Timothy has, might have a family, maybe um, his wife is sick or whatever. Know them as people, care for them as a whole person. And then they will sense that genuine care. Not just, oh yeah, hey Tim, how's the wife? How's the kids? Great. No, it doesn't, that doesn't work. That's, it's, it's generic and it's fake and we need honest, authentic, genuine people. More, the more the merrier in this world. So care, I would say, number one thing, know who your surroundings are. Care for them as a whole person and you will see that they will perform better for themselves and for you. And they will sacrifice more for you and for your business or your team or whatever the environment is. They are not just the banker.

Speaker A: Mhm.

Speaker B: He has his parents. There's a life and there's people behind that and that matter. He matters as a whole.

Speaker A: Oh yeah. Imagine you're speaking to a class of high school or college students. What's one thing you want them to take away from this?

Speaker B: As, um, Alone as you may feel, you never truly are alone. You never truly are alone. And even if I'm very aware that I had a great support system and I'm, I'm. I'm. It breaks my heart knowing that many don't. That truly breaks my heart. But you are never ever alone. Talk to anyone. We're so fortunate with online platforms now with go to the local gas station, talk to someone. An old folks home. They're begging to talk with people. You are never alone. There is always someone here to listen to you and you. Everyone has problems and their problems are the main focus and seem like the biggest things in their world. But we all have them. And in a way that makes it feel a little smaller knowing that we're all kind of going through it in different ways.

Speaker A: That's awesome. I really, really appreciate the time You've given us here. There's so much, much that we could go into. So much. What? Your energy and enthusiasm is so contagious. And I absolutely love it. Yeah, I absolutely love it. Uh, hopefully one day I can get back to Montreal. Um, or maybe you can come down here.

Speaker B: Sure.

Speaker A: Uh, love to see you, but.

Speaker B: Sure. Thank you so much.

Speaker A: So if folks want to reach out to you, what's a good way for them to do that? I know you've got an Instagram page and things like that, so what's a good way for people to stay up with you and catch up with you? We'll put the information in the notes, too.

Speaker B: My Instagram platform, I don't have a business one, but it would just be my name. It's Amelia Sparian on Instagram. If not, I have my email, which is asparian amelia@gmail.com. if ever someone needs to chat, I'm available. All right.

Speaker A: And I appreciate that so much. Um, go out there, inspire people, bring them to the levels of, of supporting teamwork. Because what you've talked about today really hits the aspirations of what our podcast is all about. Teamwork, leadership. And that all drives the culture and the culture that you had on your teams and the culture you're creating with your team now. Coaching is really a powerful one. Whether they go on to become an elite athlete or they take their aspirations and move on to a business or schools or wherever. That's the thing, folks. We've got to realize. Absolutely. Thank you so much for that, folks. Another great episode of the Teamwork Advantage right here. If you know someone who is having great success in their leadership with their teamwork, please reach out, let us know. We'd love to interview people like that. Likewise, if someone's struggling, share this with them. If they're struggling in their leadership role, if they're struggling somewhere in life, share an episode of the Teamwork Advantage with them so they can feel the power that Amelia puts out, as well as a lot of our other guests. You know, I like to say when you listen to the Teamwork Advantage, you're not average. So go make today excellent and exceptional for everyone like us. Subscribe down below. We'd love to see you join us here next time on the Teamwork Advantage. I'm Greg Gregory. Thanks, Amelia.

Speaker B: Thank you.

Speaker A: You've been listening to the Teamwork Advantage with Greg Gregory. To learn more about how Greg can help your organization develop a powerful, winning culture, visit teamsrock.com that's T E A M S R O C K.com Be sure to join Greg next week when he interviews another exciting and powerful thought leader on the teamwork advantage. Until then, as Greg says, make sure you have a great week, because a good week is just being average.