Butterflies, Kisses & Too Many Inputs 💋

What happens when two married scientists question the relationship script they were handed and crack open a door they never knew existed? This is our research phase and the experiment is already changing us. Welcome to the partnership lab where we study love, partnership, and consensual non -monogamy. Think of this podcast as a relationship lab notebook.

filled with real -time observations, experiments, and what we're learning along the way. Our discussions may include explicit language and sexual content, so listener discretion is advised. Welcome back to the partnership lab for episode 9. I'm Roz.

I'm Max. And today we are going to be talking about the Naughty Gym Toronto adventure. Yeah, we got a lot of ground to cover this evening. We we packed a lot into the three days.

We were there we Had our first time in a lifestyle club We went to Toronto's pride which was It's probably the biggest pride I've ever seen. I think it's one of the biggest ones the entire North America we've got some amazing people had some unexpected emotions and a shower conversation that really turned the whole thing around. But before we jump in, do you have anything you want to talk about from kind of what we've been up to? It's just been like a few days since we got back, so I think we've, it was kind of like, like we're there, we're in it, and then we had to like come back to real life, so it was very quick.

Yeah. We started reading the book club book Yes, that's true. That one is called the other significant others We're not terribly far, but I think it's gonna be really interesting and so If you want to be a part of our next book club, you can pick that up I don't know the author offhand, but I'll definitely put it in the show notes Yeah, all the details will be in the show notes, but it is called the other significant others and it's about people who Not necessarily aren't partnered or married, but it's just kind of a lot of different situations or examples of people who have built their lives around friends rather than just like one single central relationship.

And I think that's kind of at the core of what we're doing here too. So I'm really interested to get further into that. Yeah, that should be interesting. It's also hot as shit here.

Oh my god. I think that's probably everywhere right now that people can hear us but yeah it's it's really hot. You know it's like you know 95 with 100 humidity and there is no like respite period. You're like oh I woke up and it's 80 already.

Yeah I'll look at night and it's like can I open up the windows and it's still 82 and it's like 9 30. I'm like okay. Gross. And let's see, anything else?

World Cup is going on. I won't pretend to be a huge fan, but it is kind of fun to watch. It was on everywhere where we were at in Toronto. Yes.

Mainly because they're a host city, so. Yeah, there was a lot of things going on there at the same time. Yeah, it was a perfect storm of Toronto, yeah. Pride, FIFA, and...

like just the other reason that we were there that weekend. So yeah, there was just a lot of stuff going on. I think Toronto's traffic just kind of sucks in general, even when nothing's going on. But yeah, this is probably going to be a long one, so maybe we can just kind of jump in.

So you want to talk about Thursday? Yeah. So we got to Toronto and You know, just did the whole, you know, check in near a hotel sort of thing. And it's actually a really nice hotel, I thought.

Yeah, it was nice. It was nice because it was like a host hotel with Axe Club. And so they had like a super discounted rate, but it was definitely meant for like business travelers. So they had kitchenette.

Yeah, like a full fridge and freezer. And it was really, it was nice. It was nice, yeah. How did you feel on the drive over?

What was in your mind going on the drive? Yeah, I mean, I was like excited. It's always like exciting to kind of like go. We haven't, we've been to Canada before.

We're just not Toronto specifically. So it's always nice to like kind of go to a new place and experience that together. but also it's like the excitement of like why we're going. Yeah.

You know, meeting the NIJM community and just meeting other people in the community in general, I think. Yeah. It's nice. We're just kind of looking for like, okay, let's like meet more people so we can like find our vibe, like people that we vibe with and stuff.

And I would say I was like excited. I would say the same overall and then so we got to our hotel like did all that and I think we just I don't know we might have like changed to like go meet up with people for like our first kind of like meet -and -greet event sort of deal yeah yeah because that was gonna be a pool party so we had to get our pool clothes on yeah yep um and they when we got there So it's X Club and then they have another like portion of it that's like in the same building called Mermaid Lounge and that's like where the pool is and that's like where the playrooms are and things like that.

So when we first got there we had to like get checked in and we got like bracelets so they knew that we were with like Naughty Jim's group and we got a little tour. um you know having never been to a lifestyle club or sex club before i i had zero like baseline of like what things should be and like set up so i i mean i can't really it was nice yeah i do would say like it was it was clean which i appreciated yeah I didn't really have a whole lot of expectation either and Was pleasantly surprised it was a little bit overwhelming just having someone walk you through and be like This is the group shower.

This is the BDSM room This is where you can like have sex and people can look through the window at you and this is this is where we keep all the Condoms and stuff everywhere. There's a candle. There's condoms and lube and everything. So I think it was just sort of the nonchalantness that this stuff was being presented that was a little bit striking just because we've never been in the setting before.

Right. But certainly it was as nice as it could be and the people who worked there were also extremely nice. So yeah, it was a good first impression as we kind of walked through and headed out to the pool for sure. Honestly, I would say like first impressions of like Just everyone that we met, like everyone was so kind.

And I don't know, I'm not surprised because that has been my entire experience this far. Meaning anyone from the community is just like, hey, you know, hey, like, and you just start chatting and everyone was so kind. Yeah. Yeah, the chatting, I mean, we were there for...

five hours chatting. Weather kind of sucked for a pool party, but we still had a really good time. And I would say in that first setting, the first day around the pool, I don't know that I would have identified that group as being like lifestyle. I don't think there was anything that was going on that was particularly saucy.

I think they were all very welcoming, but It was pretty subdued, I think, from what I was expecting. It was nice and chill, a nice entry point. Did anything surprise you in the first five or six hours we were with the group? I don't think so.

Yeah. I was nervous. Yeah. This is like a theme kind of like throughout the whole weekend.

It's like I was nervous and There's other people who are very seasoned like within the lifestyle and I'm sure they were like, oh she's a newbie like yeah, like I get it like I'm not like ashamed of that at all and I'm not surprised at that at all That you were nervous. Yeah. Yeah but like as I said like everyone was so kind which made it easier to just like semi relax and just like There are people just like me and you and like just like I don't know why I was so Nervous I guess I'll let the butterflies.

I don't know. Yeah butterflies everywhere. Yeah So I think that sorry I didn't mean to cut you off But I think that also kind of like I'm a social person, but also like I don't mind being alone. So that's like just like me in a nutshell, like I can be completely fine, like alone for an entire day.

But so I think sometimes like in social situations, like I just get extremely overwhelmed. Over stimulated and I think that is kind of what happened over our weekend. We'll get into it. But yeah, yeah So the first day was really nice because it was just like hanging out like here's a few people We're getting everyone kind of like got in or arrived like at different times, right?

So we kind of like met new people sprinkled throughout the whole weekend. Yep Yeah, so we were at the pool from like three to eight and then Luna's demonstration was the next thing so We went inside to So again the hex club side wasn't open but the mermaid lounge was and if you want to get a better idea I think you can probably like go to their website, but it's the building is basically set up in like a u -shape We're like one half Well, the mermaid lounge is a U -shape where there's like a bar in the middle and then there's like rooms around the outside and there's a pool.

And then it's connected to the X -Club. And so again, the X -Club wasn't open but we basically just walked inside from the pool, still had our swimsuits on basically. And because actually everyone had swimsuits on. It was probably because it was so dang cold.

But so we went inside and - Well, some people didn't even have suits on. They were just hanging out with us. Yeah, just chilling. Yeah.

And Luna Matadas gave a demonstration about how to eat pussy like a champ. And she had a stuffed vulva. I want to make sure I got the right word. I'm like, it's not a vagina.

And showed us all the spots. And I got to say, you got a lot going on down there. Yeah, we do. Yeah.

But that was really cool. She had a bunch of different techniques And I thought there was the one that kind of stout to me was like the Kind of syncing up the pulling motion with like the licking motion Because I think like the tendency is maybe it's just because it's hard to focus on doing two things at once but Yeah, kind of drawing Sort of that come hither motion. They always say kind of drawing her up to you and then also kind of like syncing up your Your oral motion. So that was interesting So after that well, did you have anything that stood out to you from the demo She's just a fun person she's super fun.

Yeah. Yeah And then we went and changed out of our swim clothes, yeah and came back for like sexy event time. Yeah, sexy evening time. I don't know.

Yeah. And - It wasn't like anything specific. It was just like not pool partying more. Right.

It was the evening at the mermaid lounge. So the pool was still open, but now it was a little bit more kind of sexy BDSM room and playroom time. And - I think we were, while I'll speak for myself, I was pretty turned on, but also I was still kind of in a bit of an awkward head space. How are you feeling at the kind of when we got started there in the playroom?

Yeah, I was like, it was fun like getting dressed up because there are some like outfits and things that I like put together and I was like, this is the only place I could wear this. Yeah. Yeah, you looked great that night. You should describe what you wore.

So for that night, I wore like a, it was kind of like a bralette, but it was like a little bit more like tailored. Like it would have been a mini corset. sort of thing, but it was see -through. It sure was.

It was black, but it was like mesh see -through. And then I wore like some leather shorty shorts. You looked fantastic. Thank you.

Yeah, I was really proud of you for going out that exposed. Oh, that was pretty cool. I was pretty comfortable. Like I wouldn't say that like that was uncomfortable for me.

Yeah. So yeah, that didn't bother me at all. The thing is though, when you, that I didn't really think through enough was, okay, so the hotel and the club are not next to each other. It's like a mile away.

And I didn't really bring like extra things to where in between. So. Note for next time, bring normal clothes to wear over your sexy clothes until you get to the sexy place. Yeah.

That was, yeah. So yeah, lesson learned there. I was like wearing like some long sleeve shirt and I was like, okay, let's like take that off. With like leather buoy shorts on.

Yeah. It was like, okay, I look really great right now. So yeah, we go back to the club. You're looking sexy.

I have kind of like a club shirt on and it wasn't very busy, but we, you know, it was a Thursday. I didn't even think about like what night it was. Yeah. Yeah.

So we started making out, touching each other. We started in the kink room and I sat on your lap and we were making out. Yeah while someone was getting Flogged or I couldn't really see because I was facing you. Yep, but they were getting flogged or something and Whatever else.

I don't I don't really know squirting all over Yeah, I didn't see it. But yeah, it was quite a view Yeah, you were sitting on my lap like making out and then in sort of my periphery. I'm watching this woman be you know dominated and it was yeah, it was pretty intense and then Then we moved over to Like the playroom side. Yep, which is basically just like a bunch of beds kind of lined up next to each other And then there's one very large group bed mirrors like sexy videos playing and stuff and We kind of made out there for a little while we were kind of himmin and hawn about like Do you want to like fuck right here or like and meanwhile like at the beginning when we were making out I think there was like two other guys in there doing their thing.

Yeah, and then like they had Left we are still in there. So we're in there alone for a little while. Yep, and then I decided to like go lay on the the orgy bed and Fondle you Yeah, I took my dick out and played with that for a bit. And then I could just, so there's mirrors at certain parts and I actually could see us like someone watching, which I didn't mind.

I didn't mind at all. And so we were like kind of like on the fence like, should we have sex right here? Should we like, what should we do? What should we do?

We like could not make a decision. And I finally was like, let's just go get a room. Yeah. We wanted to use one of like the sort of like the liberator chairs they had there but I don't know I was just on the fence so we were talking about like do we have sex just right here on the orgy bed and I was nervous that that was like gonna be an invitation to the person who was watching that we picked like the most public space and I mean even just like taking myself out for you to play with like in a sort of a public area felt like a lot.

So yeah, we went to a private room that had a door that would close and lock and there were not windows where people could look through. And... And we had sex at our first sex club. We sure did.

And you liked the mirrors. Very much so. Yeah, there was ceiling mirrors and then there were mirrors on the walls. So you kind of got like at least 180 degree view.

And I think I started out trying some of Luna's new pussy eating techniques, which she seemed to be enjoying. Yeah. I have to say though, like it's really, it was kind of hard for me to like stay. like the sexy intimate like mindset in that setting because I can hear door slamming of people going like in and out of the pool area I can hear like bar conversations happening like more door slamming like other places so it's kind of really distracting for me I'm more of that type of person like I like slower like central star and I like music like that kind of thing and if some of that stuff is off it just takes me a really long time to get there so I was actually kind of worried like I wasn't gonna come like get off yeah yeah I was surprised you did yeah I really just had to like focus my brain and like close my eyes and yeah.

It was fun and like you gave me a head and I really enjoyed watching that in the different mirror setups. I found it a little distracting too. I think it was just and for everyone listening like these weren't walls that went all the way to the ceiling. It was like maybe eight or nine feet tall sort of drywall walls then it was open.

at the top. Yeah, like open ceiling. And then there was like kind of like an exposed ceiling where they could have the mirrors and lights and stuff. But it was like as private as like a bathroom stall would be.

I mean, obviously much cleaner and nicer. But the point is you were hearing like everything that was going on and the sounds we were hearing weren't particularly sexy. So it was distracting even for me. But I had a good time.

I'm glad we did it. Yeah. And then got ourselves back together and we were just, I think we were just kind of walking around and then we're like, okay, I think we're just like ready to go. I think we walked past like the playroom area and I think there were some more people there at that time.

There was some stuff going on. Yeah. It was probably like. There's maybe like three or four people Yeah, I was thinking like 1230 probably at that point and it seemed like stuff was starting to happen in the in the playroom So I feel like the time is Like not a thing.

I feel like it the time just went so fast. It's a yeah Or I'm just like what time is it and it's you know Midnight or one and like holy crap. Yeah, we were there for like almost ten hours that day, which is pretty crazy Yeah, that is pretty crazy So, how did you feel going to bed that night? I felt pretty good.

I was like trying to like write notes down like as we were experiencing everything And yeah, I think I was like still just getting used to Like meeting so many new people like all at one time and Just a new environment and things like that. I was like, all right, like, okay Yeah, like two more nights of this place and we're kind of getting the lay of the land like the first day. Yep So, I mean I felt good. Yeah, I feel still probably Felt like a little bit like nervous but still like okay like Kind of like trying to like get our groove.

Mm -hmm in there. Yeah, I felt good too. I was tired because that was more socializing than we typically do in probably an entire month. It was a lot later than our normal bedtime, so there's a lot going on there.

We drove quite a bit that day, but I had a fun time. Thursday was good. Yeah, and I was excited about the following day because we had already planned kind of what we were going to do on all the days, so it was like... Thursday was arrival, get to know people who are there and just kind of lay the land, sort of like first day things.

But like we said, Toronto has like a huge pride celebration and Friday was kind of like that day for us. Yeah. Was to just go downtown and see what's up. Yeah, let's get into it then.

So, tell us about Friday. So, we... Got up I feel like we ate breakfast twice We did we ate breakfast at the continental breakfast. Oh, yeah, we checked out the hotel breakfast, which was like Powdered eggs and bagels and Froot Loops and we got to be honest.

We got there late So I don't know if they had more stuff out earlier or yeah Whatever, but typical fair. It was okay. Yeah, I had Froot Loops that didn't have dye in them It's true. They were, they were pretty sad looking for loops.

They were good though. Yeah. Yeah. Gotta get that red number five.

So we just kind of like hung out at the hotel for like a little bit and then we actually had a reservation to go to brunch downtown, but we had to kind of plan accordingly because it's about like a 45 minute drive. Yep. From like where we were staying to downtown Toronto, like we're the pride. was happening on Church Street.

So we went to brunch and met up with some other Naughty Gym people. I think it was like 10 to 12 of us or something like that. And that was fun. Yeah, it was a good time.

I think I got some pancakes. Those were good. Yeah. Didn't really think we needed a reservation though.

There was like literally no one else the entire place. Yeah. And we made a reservation like four weeks in advance. Never know.

No. But it was fun. We met some more new people at the brunch. So, yeah, we were just kind of like chatting and talking.

Then we decided, everyone, we were kind of like just going to walk around Pride together. There was like a clothing shop that I think Scott wanted to go to or no. Like Luna had suggested for Scott and April to go to, and we all just decided, well, we'll just come with you. Check it out.

Yeah, April wanted to buy Scott some horish man clothes, which you can't usually go to a store in the States and buy. And of course, I was interested in that as well. So, yeah. And to note, the store was supposed to be 100 meters from where we went to breakfast.

And we walked about three quarters of a mile in the wrong direction. and enjoyed our walk. Honestly, I did. I didn't mind walking.

I enjoyed it too, but we were kidding with Scott because he was on leading that we saw American flags we watched so far. It was fine. Yeah, it was. Before we even got to the shop, we just stopped at another bar and sat down and had a little break.

A couple more drinks. Yeah, that was fun. You could tell the group was... Some of these folks already knew each other and some of them had not known each other, but the group was starting to loosen up as the pub - The drinks were flowing.

The impromptu pub crawl continued, yeah. They went shopping, you got a special item. I did. I bought a blue jockstrap, which I was excited to get and was kind of like a - like a going over a barrier of like shame of picking something like that out when other people were around and like walking up to the cash register and paying for it and I think any guy who's listening who's had to like Buy condoms and like the the fear of how they're gonna judge me if I buy this or whatever, you know, it's So that was and it it was a very comfortable energy in that group I will say and Um, you know, hopefully this other people were like picking out stuff for other people Yeah, you know it was like this would look so good on you.

It was super friendly. Yeah, Luna was very Very like encouraging and like wanted to know what I was buying and there was never like a Judgy tone or like kind of a joking tone. It was all very very What's the word? Genuine.

Yes, very genuine, very encouraging, because that was really just great. And just kind of in that same aside, I think there were a couple of guys there who are openly bi, who Scott even says that on their podcast, so I don't think I'm speaking on a turn there. And then there were a few other guests too. have to say like the energy around those guys was really different and I don't know that it's necessarily attributed to their sexuality, but it you know could just be that their lifestyle guys, but they were like So open and so kind and like didn't have that really strong masculine energy where like I Think typically if you went into a store with your guy friends like that They would like be joking and pointing at stuff and kind of like laughing and this was very just a very loving situation.

So, it's kind of funny that like an underwear store could make you feel that way, but it just was really - There was so much other stuff though. Yeah. Like, I've never seen a shop that humongous with all that. No, that there was, that it's like devoted to men, obviously, because it's in the gayborhood, but yeah, it was, I really enjoyed that part of the day.

It was something that I probably would have been afraid to do by myself. or just the two of us but in the group it felt very like fun so yeah and then we ended up at one more bar before kind of like starting to like head back to back to the hotel and stuff since it's kind of a long way and we just walked in on like a brunch drag show which was super fun it was fun i've never been to one of those before Have you? No, I've never been to one. It was an interesting experience.

And our group definitely drew a lot of attention from the Queens. Our vibes were high. They were high. They were, I think it was like, when we walked in, people were kind of like, hmm, I wonder.

And then by the end, they were like, oh yeah. These are my people. Those are definitely like swingers for sure. But yeah, so There I got asked to be kissed.

Yeah And we were at this place just like again like during the direct so just like chatting like listening to the show talking and things like that Yeah, so we were just chatting and they just really like lean over to me and ask me can I kiss you and I was like yeah, and It was good and This is another man in the group. Yes, so I think that was their first of like naughty gym event to go to if I'm not mistaken and The kiss was good a little bit too much tongue for like initial like first kiss in my opinion um so I'm being a newbie I'm learning like I didn't say anything but I should have like paused and said like that's just a little bit too much tongue for me like maybe we'll can we try again you know something like that yeah and but apparently I'm a very good kisser so can confirm There's my elevator pitch.

I'm a great kisser and I give great massages. You're gonna not find many people turning that down. That's for sure. So yeah, that was maybe a little bit unexpected.

Yeah, how did you feel about it? I think in the moment it was more like surprise. But there was not like any Negative feeling was like hmm And I you know, I kind of like clocked what was happening It was loud in there and there was like a lot of a lot of debauchery going on there was like people and just in their underwear and it was Getting a little unhinged But it wasn't like I looked over and it was happening I kind of like saw the build and I kind of knew what was going on and I would say I was like Hmm, I wonder what she's gonna say and honestly, I kind of thought you're gonna say no and then when you were like, yeah was like oh good for her and Maybe had like that initial one or two seconds of that feels Weird and then it was like okay I'm happy for her and then that was really it.

So I was glad with how I handled that and I wouldn't say I was particularly turned on by it, but there wasn't anything negative about it. How did you feel about it? Other than the mechanics of it, but how did it make you feel? I would say neutral.

I didn't get super steamy or anything like that. kind of just look at it like this might not be like ideal like scenario or whatever but I just wanted to see what it felt like yeah like how did it feel to kiss someone who was not my husband and so I mean neutral yeah good so their first opportunity to like crash out and it didn't happen So yeah, we took like the hell along uber ride back. Yeah, so we get back it's like 530 or something like that and we're starting to talk about getting dressed for the club and having dinner and And I think at this point I'm I'm feeling anxious and Just Like...

I don't know, I can't even... There just maybe aren't words to like how I was like feeling. It was just, I was kind of like all over the place. It was like I had a good time like at Pride and I was just feeling anxious and maybe a little bit nervous about like going to events like later in the evening and I was tired and...

Started like crashing out at that point. I think I was getting like I was overthinking things over stimulated and yeah And I kind of expressed like a little bit of that to you and then you were Like super supportive like I can't I can't say that enough either by the way And you're just like, okay, like let's just like go Okay, first like let's eat and Like not make any decisions like well, we're like hangry or like anything like that and I Think you're like, I think you told me just like let me know if like you need a break Yeah, and I was like, all right.

I just need a minute so we like went to go eat and I think even like while we were like Getting to dinner and like maybe like halfway through a dinner. I think it was still feeling like Like uneasy maybe is like the word. Yeah And then I just finally it was like I I just need like a night in When we got when we got back from dinner, I was like, I just I just need a break. I think yeah Yeah, I had I started getting dressed and on the ride back I think what I said was like if you don't want to go all you need to do is say I don't want to go and I could tell like something was wrong and me kind of I've learned one of my like I don't want to say toxic traits but one of my weaknesses is the way that I try and exert control over things that I can't control is I try and like fix stuff.

And so whenever I feel like someone is dysregulated, I immediately think like, well, it's something that I did because that means like it's something I can fix. And so when you were freaking out, at least internally, I was immediately like going into, you know, what's wrong? What did I do wrong? Why is she feeling this way?

I don't think we really hashed it out much more than just leaving it as You needed a break and we took a break and we just watched some Like beat Bobby Flay or something and went to sleep because we felt like we needed a reset. So Yeah, and I think I cried like twice because I felt like I was letting you down because you were very excited to go to the events that they had planned like on that the Friday night and like earlier in the day I I was looking forward to doing some of the things that they had planned also but my body was telling me something completely different and I was like okay like my mind and my body are not Not on the same page.

Yeah, and that's why I feel like I needed the break and As I was like thinking about it more it's Your I'm was just doing so many things like out of my normal I think even though my mind like was in my body was like, what are you doing? Yeah, and It just was not allowing me to enjoy like the moment and at that time yeah, and I Tried to be kind to myself and be like it's okay Like I'm feeling something like whatever it is. It's okay to Like check in with myself like take a break say no like things like that but that's also like super hard for me because i didn't want to disappoint you because i knew you were really excited about it and like that would that would hurt my heart if i like really disappointed you and i think i cried about that a few times yeah and i mean i was disappointed to miss out on some of those things but i would have been more disappointed if you wouldn't have told me the truth and so i'm glad we had the the opportunity to kind of like get the rep of, you know, having the conversation and taking the right step.

And I was honestly like feeling afraid of disappointing you too, because, you know, you now had a kiss in the bank and I wasn't one that was super steamy or anything, but... You know, I was starting to get that little self -consciousness of like You know Everyone's gonna be more interested in you than they're interested in me and that I Am kind of like the weaker link in the in the couple and I'd had some of those fears I mentioned in the last episode and then Your brain kind of goes there when you know, you start seeing little bits of you getting more attention.

So The point is we were both kind of in a I don't want to let the other person down state and I think taking the night off was the right move. Yeah. So we woke up on Saturday. How are you feeling on Saturday?

Was the night off kind of enough to get you back out of the anxiousness? I mean, I don't think it was like 100 % but I think if we would have gone It would have been worse like yeah, I would have like maybe not wanted to go like on Saturday, you know, I mean like but immediately and when I woke up I Just grabbed my phone and started writing like a little note of like how I was feeling I tried to like do that like throughout the weekend just to capture like in the moment like yeah what is happening So I woke up On Saturday, I was like, I feel better.

I kind of still have like this nervous, anxious, uneasy feeling that's whatever is happening. And I was trying to think of like, okay, is it just one thing that's making me feel this way? And it's like, I don't think it's one thing that's causing the feeling. I really think it's just the combination of all the socialization.

being in such a sex forward environment. And we talked about this too. And I think I'm just with all of those things combined, I'm just feeling uneasy to like fit in, in those scenarios. So I was like, okay, my plan for today is to try and relax at the pool.

Like that is my only goal. for today and just not put as much expectation on myself and Just like one goal and then just go from there. Yeah So that was that was literally like verbatim from the note she wrote on her phone, so we woke up That's how she's feeling We go out to breakfast because we didn't want to have shitty continental breakfast again. It was really good We went to a local like family diner Yeah, it was really good.

I knew it was going to be good when he pulled up and there were a bunch of old people on there. Like sweet regulars. Because those are the people who are going to be like the most finicky and this shit was good. It was like one of those deals where you order and it comes out 10 minutes later.

Everything was like piping hot, greasy, all cooked on the same like top. It was real good. And then we love a good drive. So we're like...

I was missing a little bit of the nature, to be honest. So this was the purpose of our drive. Yeah, yeah. So we said, I think we were leaving, and I said, find some sort of scenic drive for us to do.

And you found this drive that took us through literally the most insane neighborhood I've ever seen in person. Yeah. It's bridal, like horse bridal. and something else.

It's like a series of streets. It's called the Bridal Path. Okay and it's like Prince used to live there and Drake lives there and we drive by these places and it's like gold ornate fences gates with like 15 cars parked outside at an angle like all being waxed with with a a live human security guard outside. And it was like, you would have thought like a Saudi prince lived there or something.

It was like - Or you just walked into an Italian palazzo. Yeah, but it wasn't just one. It was like - The whole neighborhood. Maybe 20 or 30 houses like that.

And I was like, how are there this many rich people in Toronto? But And I mean that's like next -level rich. That's like this is like millions of dollars these houses. Yeah.

Yeah, you those are celebrities that live there so that was fun you couldn't really see a lot of it because there was like super tall hedges and fences and stuff, but some of me could see like through the Gates and things like that or they're under construction or restoration so you could kind of get a peek. Yeah At what they were it was just like a nice like random thing nice drive to kind of get away, be together. Yeah. So we got back to the hotel, got changed into our pool outfits.

It was the big, big pool party and the weather was a lot nicer that day. It was. Actually, it was really nice. It was sunny, a little warmer.

Middle 70s, I think. And so as we're preparing to go to the pool, I'm... I'm debating with myself what I'm going to wear because I don't want to wear swim trunks and go in the pool in swim trunks because then if you go into the mermaid lounge where there's like beds and furniture and stuff, then you're wearing a wet swimsuit. So I was like, I think I want to go naked in the pool.

Obviously, it's clothing optional. To kind of convince myself. I didn't bring the trunks with me I did bring a little sexy swimsuit if I needed a change into it booty speedo Yeah, but I what you did not end up wearing I did not I did not and you kind of were going through something similar of like if you're gonna bring a top or not So I did not bring a top. I went topless in the pool.

Yeah, so we head over to the pool and We put on a fuck ton of sunscreen. And we did not get burnt, yay. I know, like bare ass and balls and no sunburn. So that's pretty cool.

But yeah, I got naked and got in the pool and was not the first naked guy there. And in fact, we were greeted at the door to the bar by a guy who was naked carrying drinks. And he thought it was the most normal thing ever, so. Yeah, Roz got a hug from a dude with a nude and we'd been there like 30 seconds.

So I was like, there you go. But yeah, I was down in the pool. And some other people arrived that day also. So it was like we were meeting some other new people there with the Naughty Gym group.

Yeah, met some new couples or. Think a new couple and then we met another couple that we just like got introduced to on Thursday. Yep Yeah, they weren't there Friday, but we got to see him again on Saturday. So kind of two two main couples the new one were calling them the Lego couple and it was really fun meeting them because I Felt like for the first time in the whole weekend, I'd found a pair of people who had really common interests to us.

So we were talking about Lego, and we were talking about tattoos, and our favorite sci -fi or horror shows, music, different hockey teams, racing, F1, NASCAR, it was like... we had a lot of very similar interests, which I thought was really encouraging. It was like, oh, these, I guess it was just kind of a reminder of like, these are people, you know, like they have hobbies that we can relate to. And yeah, what did you think about that?

Yeah, it was very easy to talk to them and we really liked them. Yeah. And so it felt like things were going pretty good. We've been at the pool for quite a while, a couple of hours.

I think honestly the most thing I was concerned about was like getting burned. I was very concerned about that too. I was not concerned about my boobs being out at all. Dried off a couple times to reapply the SPF 50 and it turned out really good.

So there's a kind of a key moment in this day where I think we got out of the pool for what was maybe the last time and went and sat down on a daybed and I had left the pool feeling like Things are going really well. We I was feeling good about myself and the way that I was, you know having conversations I was kind of enjoying the the nakedness and some of the sexiness and I yeah, there were like some people like Not really like getting it on on the side of the pool, but it was like, you know There is some dick sucking there were some fingering there were some just like random fondling, you know Just like that kind of stuff.

Yeah on the side of the coral and everything and I was I don't think we mentioned this but Like no like sexual acts are allowed like in the pool. Yeah, so it's like Just for like the on the border not like on the border of the pool, but there's like seats and stuff like all around Yeah, and that's like where you can go do that stuff had a couple little nice shows, but Yeah, so I I sensed you were kind of getting tired and you were gonna be ready for a break But I was feeling really good about where we were at, and then you said something along the line.

Actually, do you remember what you said? I don't remember what I said word for word. Yeah. But, okay, so let me backtrack before we go any further.

We just had been, we were probably at the pool for like three or four hours. Close to that, yeah, yeah. So I think my like social battery was it was getting low It was like kind of like okay. I need to be like we were talking to like a lot of people so we were just like sitting On Like one of the like the day beds like on the side of the pool And i'm just like my battery is getting a little bit low i'm getting a little bit tired and also like being the sun which like makes you tired too.

Yep and But I hadn't really like all through this weekend. I hadn't really felt that like super big like turn on or Like super big desire like within the environment like things were nice and Like nice to see I was and everything and I didn't mind like watching Like being kind of like that voyeur in that scenario in the environment But I wasn't feeling like I was getting really turned on Whereas like I felt like you were Like you were getting like that excitement and like that turn -on like from the entire experience.

I didn't really feel like that So I think I said something to you like some of the lines like it I think I'm okay with you with you being my like one and only Something like that or like I'm I'm think I'm okay I'm good with being with you only you or something like that. Yeah, and I think you heard something different from me saying that? Yeah, I heard, you don't want to do this anymore. I heard this was a mistake.

I heard I'm not enjoying myself. That's what I heard. I didn't say that at the time. I said, okay, you know.

And I sensed you were tired. And so we went back to the hotel. But do you know what you meant by that in the moment? I think I was just like, my expectation...

Okay, this is again like brain versus body thing. I think going into this weekend, I had... Lots of expectations. I was like, okay, like we might be might be doing like our first like like parallel play or like soft swap or like something like that and My body was like hell no It was like I don't know what you're thinking so and also like me feeling like okay, I'm I'm in this like super sexy environment like mean these like Very kind and like intentional and cool people and I'm still not feeling like that Turn on or desire and I was like, well It's like I don't know like how to make that happen and I don't know it was just It was like a lot of emotions and things happening and I wasn't sure and Maybe I wasn't feeling that because I was so fucking nervous the entire time.

You know what I mean? Like, cause now I don't think I told you this yet, but like after coming home and like replaying like events, like from that weekend in my head, they're like, then I get a little, a little warm in my vulva. You know what I mean? Like it's like, why?

why am I feeling it like outside of the experience, you know? And not when it's like physically right in front of me. Yeah. So I don't know, that's just something I have to figure out.

So, yeah, so I heard you say, I heard you say that you didn't want to be in the lifestyle anymore and So we went back to the hotel and had actually really good sex again. That was like the third time we had sex in like 48 hours or something. And then afterwards I went and was in the shower and I'm not like a guy who stays in the shower for very long. I just kind of like get in and do my stuff and get out but I stood there and I was just like letting the water hit me and kind of just going over all the stuff in my head of, you know, did I make a mistake, you know, bringing this up however long ago?

And does Roz regret coming here? And did we make a mistake booking other trips too soon? And, you know, it was... Is this it?

Is she backing out? I was negative at first, but I want to give myself a lot of credit because I could have gone into this negativity and I could have said, you know, like, do you knew what you signed up for? And like, why can't you just enjoy this? I'm not getting what I was hoping for, but my mind didn't go there at all.

My mind was like... After I thought about it for a little bit, I said, this is not a failure. This is not something that we need to feel negatively about. This is not something that...

We need to look back and say that we missed an opportunity because every single step of the way We went and did something that was uncomfortable whether it was meeting a whole bunch of new people whether it was staying out later than we would normally do whether it was you know going to the pool and and being naked and What it what what I realized I realized it just about the time that you came and joined me in the shower Yeah, so we had sex and then we kind of like took a mini nap Yeah naked on the bed right together and then you got you got up and went to the shower And then I just I kind of like was drifting and I finally like woke up and I was like, okay, I'm gonna go shower Yeah, so on the on the last episode we're asking questions, which I think were good questions to ask of like Where are your boundaries and we're landing in you know?

Can we soft swap? Or can we parallel play? Or like, what would it feel like if she was, if I was watching her give like, oral to someone? But really the questions should have been like, am I gonna be okay if I'm not wearing my top at the pool?

Or what would it feel like to watch other people have sex? Or, you know, what's it gonna feel like to go dancing in a club because... honestly, the last time we danced for any length of time was our wedding and what will it feel like to stay out past 10 p .m.

and You know, I I just think that And I don't know that that if this was where you were at But I really felt like we turned that day around and I felt you loosen up When we reframed and went into this idea of all of these wins that we had and stopped trying to compare to I don't know where we thought we needed to be or where everyone else was and I think but Yeah, I mean I agree. I think we went into this weekend thinking like we're gonna have our first like sexual experience or intimate experience with someone other than ourselves and I think that's where our Mind was at and I think It was just not we're just not there yet.

Yeah, like in our bodies Yeah, like physically we're just not at that point and I think it was the reconciliation of those two things that were making us feel like less than or just not enough, things like that. And I think once we finally had our little shower conference, it was like, okay, we aren't doing anything wrong. It's not a bad experience. It's not a failure.

We just have to adjust. like our mental expectation and of what was happening. Yeah. And I I was also kind of jotting down notes as we were going along, and I won't read them all to you because I kind of summarize them.

But what I did want to note is that so I literally wrote this down right after we got out of the shower and I said. I hope we'll stick with it. keep trying new things, we just need to be more gracious with ourselves and our expectations of what we're ready for at every step. And I think that that really was...

I know there was only a few hours left of the trip at this point, but that was really kind of my motto for the rest of it was like, don't look at the last thing, just look at the next thing. And... I felt really good after we had that conversation. Yeah, me too.

I think I cried to you in the shower too when we were talking. You did. Because I think I walked in, I walked in the shower and I was like, kind of like, hey. And I was like, it was like.

I think it initially like I still felt like I was disappointing you and then you're like hey I've been thinking and I'm like okay let me listen and then we just had like the beautiful conversation so I really was beautiful and I yeah I do agree it really I think that moment like really turned the rest of the night around because I actually the rest of like Saturday was probably the best time I had there Yeah it was a lot of fun and it was legitimately probably the part I was the most nervous for too because it was going to the club which is not my spot you know like the loud music the dancing it's just you know being out late and then on top of that it's like in a sex forward setting I was very afraid of that but I had an amazing time.

So I'm really glad we had that that moment together. And I feel like it's going to be one of those like pillar moments for our our lifestyle where I literally went from an hour before that thinking like this is over, like the adventure is over to feeling like really proud of us. You know that we had that conversation that we were able to like turn what felt like a negative in which It again felt like a negative into something that was very positive and it's something I think we can kind of like reach back to again and again if we Find ourselves kind of getting ahead or our mind is getting ahead of our bodies and just say like we've been here before we got to remember, you know, so And so like after our shower conversation that night's events were X Club and the theme was like not a gym night.

What a dream. And anytime you can just show up to a dancing place in tennis shoes and some comfy clothes, like I am all for that. That should be a theme night all the time. So I kind of wore like this green, like cheerleader -esque.

So I had like a skirt and a little like bra on. Yeah, it was really cute. And you had like a little mesh jersey and some booty shorts on. Yeah, they were the shortest shorts I've ever worn.

And I actually, I was gonna wear something that was even shorter. But I had to cover up leaving the hotel for the reason Ross said earlier. Because I didn't have anything to wear over the short shorts. So I had like slightly longer, like three inch shorts that I wore over the shorter shorts.

And then I got there and was like, Jesus, these shorts are so short. And I was actually going to wear something even shorter. It was really fun. I had some sweat bands the red white blue sweat bands and a little mesh like football jersey and and some some really short shorts, so They're kind of early.

Well, we got there like kind of like at opening so it was like kind of early So it wasn't that many people there yet But that was actually fine. I don't mind like kind of being the first ones there Yeah, we definitely weren't the first ones, but it was the part that stuck to me was that as we're walking in, we're like, you know, a BMW SUV pulls by and there's like two sexy ass people getting out with like, you know, dressed in like full suit. And I was like, oh my God, we got this outfit wrong.

Like this, it's not gym night tonight. And we walk up and there's like these dudes in black vests with like secret service earpieces. And they're like looking at you all. And I was like, oh my God, they're going to throw us out.

And then of course it was gym night and we got in and there's sexy clothes everywhere, but that just was funny because I was like, oh no, oh no, they're not going to let us in. So we kind of just stood around, chatted with a couple people as they were coming in, and we were kind of standing at the bar for a little bit. And then as more and more people came in, we said, hey, let's just go dance. I was definitely waiting for like the good club music to come on.

There's like, I don't know what was happening in the beginning, but it was okay. I was like waiting for like, play a song that I actually know the beat or like the song. Yeah, I was a little slow to start. I thought it got better later for sure.

DJ B -Smooth was on later. Okay, that was that was much. much better. It was really good.

But even just going out on the dance floor was was us getting over another barrier because we we stood at the at the bar and we were nervous to go out there and dance and once we did like I had a really good time like a lot better time than I was expecting and it was super sexy there was like there's you know stripper poles there's you know girls on those and Like there wasn't like strippers there. It was like people who were attending the club were using the pole Yeah, right amateur night and then there was you know people were getting various levels of undressed down to Almost nothing like probably about as nothing as is allowed bra and underwear basically, yeah well I was underwear, you know thongs and then we had the little VIP area where they had like bottle service and it was It was like elevated around the outside of the dance floor.

There was like these couch areas where the VIP areas could sit and that felt really nice because it was like an area where you could go and kind of get away from the crowd a little bit and still see what was going on. But it felt a little safer up there to just like be able to get away for a minute and kind of recharge. Your legs getting tired from booty dancing? Yeah, we danced like...

We did for a long time. Several hours. Yeah, which is really unusual for us. So we danced for a while and then we kind of like went up to the VIP section just to like, I think I just got a drink and we were just like saying hi to other people.

And April comes up to me and she's like, how are you? Yeah, she knew. I'm sure her and Scott knew it like we were so nervous because they were checking in on us like. we didn't go to Friday night and then they're like oh my god we broke them yeah we've ruined them so they were checking in with us like quite a few times which is so sweet of them to do and it just goes to show like how kind they of people they are and it was really sweet we I think you called April our like lifestyle sherpa or something and she was definitely giving like mama mama bear vibes which was really sweet so yeah so we were just kind of like hanging out in the couches like for a little bit like getting a drink and then we went back on the dance floor for a little bit again and then i don't know i don't even know like what we were dancing like the vip section for a little bit too yeah There were a couple girls who I was like interested in possibly dancing with but I didn't really know how to like Go about inviting that other couple to kind of like Join us.

So we just sort of danced like in proximity to some people but it was really fun like, you know, we just it was just you and me and You know fun. It's kind of sexy surroundings. No one came up and was was pushy or anything and then Yeah, several hours and we Decided we were we were tired Yeah, and we had to get up and go The next day too. So we didn't want to stay out like till like 3 a .

m. Or anything. Yeah, right But yeah, so we Kind of like really okay I think I'm like ready to go so we kind of started to make our rounds to like people who we had chatted with like throughout the weekend and We just wanted to say like our last like goodbye. I didn't know like if we would see him the next day So it was just kind of started then of course we wanted to like personally like say goodbye to like Scott and April and we couldn't find them Yeah, wasn't for lack of trying.

That's for sure um, but I know like they were just off like doing their thing and it's totally fine and I think there was at one point we just like asked like someone other than oh Andy and I was like hey do you like know where they went we just wanted to say goodbye like before we like headed out and just like honestly thank them for the event they put on like caring so much about us and like honestly like everyone was I can't say this enough everyone was so kind to our I think I told everyone and like the chat is like thank you for being so kind and like to our newbie energy that we're bringing to this and it was just those types of situations can really like make or break your experience and even though like I was just having a hard time but overall like they just made it so much Better made it so much easier for people to do this like as newbies.

Yeah to To make people feel comfortable and things like that. So Like even though we didn't get to say thanks in person We do want to thank Scott and April from Naughty Gym for just all of your kindness and the event you guys put together and we're glad that you guys got to like Relax a little bit from like your other like normal bigger events. So we just really appreciate it. I want to thank you Yeah, and Andy was determined to find you guys and I kept telling her if they're fucking I do not want to have an awkward goodbye and She was like, oh trust me.

They are not fucking but we couldn't find you but funny enough very last moments in the club looking for you guys and a cute couple like stopped and just chatted with us and it wasn't like they wanted our numbers there wasn't any pressure but it was just sort of this natural fun little flirty interaction and yeah just left us with like a a good last feeling like You know what, maybe we can do this. And that was really great. Yeah. And then we're like, all right.

Just got back to our hotel and just slept. Yeah. Crashed. Didn't have sex for the first night since we'd been there.

That was like, we were so tired. So then the drive home was good. I think we both were Doing some processing on the way. So, you know at first we we kept it I Think we drove the first hour just in silence Just kind of like not having to be on not having to interact with people and then you started pulling up some podcasts that we like to listen to and There was actually a really kind of a funny story on the border crossing so we came up to the agent and And you know, they give you all these questions to make sure you're not like some terrorist or something.

And so he was like, where are you coming from? So I said, Misagua. And then he says, What were you doing there? I said, seeing friends.

Work friends? School friends? New friends. How do you meet these friends?

Hmm, which I thought was a really weird question to ask by the way. It was so I was like We all listen to the same podcast and they were having an event what podcast? So here we have we felt like an eon it was a very long pause because I'm like don't lie to the border person and I was like a Swinger podcast and that was it then welcome back home. Yep so we're probably gonna probably on a list somewhere, but That was a funny little, yeah, that was a funny little.

I was like, you were asking a lot of probing questions for like, it was very random. Yeah, like, do you want to know how long I am? Like, Jesus, but. So yeah, we cleared the border, didn't get arrested, even though we told them we went to a Swinger event.

And like the last little bit of the drive, we listened to the newest We Got a Thing podcast, and they were talking about the erotic blueprint, which we've covered and they've covered pretty extensively before, but they were doing it in a way that was talking about kind of how you experience lifestyle spaces based on your erotic blueprint. And - Which we thought was kind of fitting to like what we were just experienced. Yeah. And, you know, I thought that it was really interesting because they talked a lot about the sensuals and how you know they might have a hard time getting aroused in such an overwhelming situation or they might find things interesting but not necessarily like sexually appealing and there were some some scenarios that were described in that podcast that you actually told me you found to be turning you on and even earlier in this podcast you said that there were some some situations that you think back on that kind of Warms you up.

So I Think it was really I think it was just like You know how like if you're doing anything like electronically like if you're trying to fix the TV or music Stereo or whatever and you have too many inputs. I feel like that's how I was feeling like I had too many inputs and Like my body and mind didn't know like how to Like calibrate all the inputs to like a single output. Mm -hmm So I think that's what I was experiencing. Yeah Which makes a lot of sense because when in this blueprint episode Like they were talking about like centrals quite a bit because I think mrs.

Jones is essential correct and I was like, yeah Yeah And we even talked about like how like I am extremely affected by noise and Things like that. So I think yeah, it was It was very apparent though. Okay, this just might be something that I need to know about myself. Yeah Yeah, there I think it's like there's not something wrong.

It's just Just I experience things. I'm just very sensitive to my environment. Yeah, and that's just something and You were you were in a very new very charged somewhat jarring environment So, you know, it's as someone who is Extra sensitive to that the fact that it kind of like shocked you Maybe not all that shocking, right? So It makes sense that that was my reaction.

Yeah, and that might just that might cool down with time or we might find that we have to get we have to find the setting that works for you or the dynamic that works for you, but It was just a relief. I felt like I kind of exhaled when we're listening to that and it was it was like It was kind of like re -experiencing that shower conversation relief of like We're just learning about ourselves. It doesn't mean that we're wrong. It doesn't mean that we can't do this It just means like we need to and it doesn't mean that either of us don't want to write.

It's just I have to learn what Makes me tick. Yes, and how When we learn those things like use them to serve us and not try and like Jump 10 10 steps ahead right to make it feel shocking or uncomfortable. So, we finished the podcast, like literally as we're driving up the driveway. Oh, this is a funny story.

And so I'm thinking to myself, like, you know what? Like, we might be okay. Like, we might just need to kind of learn the right situation for Roz. I'm still feeling a little uneasy, you know, but...

I think we're going to be okay. I got like a whole bunch of shit in my hands. I'm like carrying it to the door and I kind of check out of my peripheral and I go to check the mail. You're going to check the mail and what do you see?

I'm casually walking to the mailbox. I open the mailbox, grab the mail and there's someone walking down our sidewalk like towards like our driveway. shirtless guy, younger guy. I don't even know how old he is.

He was probably your age. And he goes, oh, it's just a beautiful day for a walk, isn't it? But he lingered and I was like, did he just flirt with me? And I was like, I was like, yeah, it's so sunny.

And I just kind of paused myself and I was like strutted back up the driveway. He was a good -looking guy, yeah, and I was smiling myself for sure. So yeah, and then you came in and I was like, did you figure out where he lives? But yeah, that was really kind of just a funny moment to cap the weekend of going from this full -blown swinger weekend where we're like...

freaking out to get back to vanilla land and you've been here five minutes and someone wants to flirt with you. So that was our weekend. What was the most surprising thing for you? I think it was that I felt like I handled the socializing Pretty well, actually I was gonna say that that was gonna be my surprising thing.

It's like you were like social butterfly Max it was like You did well thanks It was It felt surprisingly natural there were definitely moments where I'm like I'm talking to this person with their tits out, but That kind of goes away after a little bit and I don't know like it feels somewhat freeing to me when I'm somewhere where people don't have like preconceived notions of me and so They're not like oh, you're the the quiet guy or oh, you're the this or the that and I can kind of just like be something different, so Yeah, I would say that kind of surprised me yeah for sure What do you think you're excited about now I Think it's Once I have this understanding of like I'm kind of like a slow to warm up Person once I've like reconciled like that.

I feel like I'm excited to Meet New people and just find like common things that we can just talk about. Yeah, I think that's an essential part for me Yeah, it's like I can't just go from Hey, my name is Roz. Do you want to go fuck like that's never gonna be my Lane it's good. It's gonna be the conversation.

Yeah, it's gonna be I Think they call that demisexual Yeah, I think I am more that. Yeah, I think that's you for sure. And yeah, it's so I'm I'm excited about to try and explore that a little bit more. And hopefully my social battery will get more and more capacity.

Yeah. I was going to say robust. Like it needs to just like grow a little bit. Yeah.

And it's robustness. But you know what I. You got to start somewhere. Yeah, and That just happens to be where I'm starting from so just like a little bit at a time like it will come yeah, I believe it will and I Would say that All in all I I'm really glad that we went and I think that it was a lot of things that we were able to experience for the first time together and we weren't ready for everything but I think we pushed boundaries of ourselves like personal and like relationship yeah and I think in our in our mind or although I guess I'll just say in my mind that pushing boundaries I think had a lot more weight I was thinking it was something way further down the road But honestly, like, oh, we stayed up, you know, three hours longer than we would normally stay up.

Or, oh, we, you know, got naked at the pool. Or, like, those are things that felt uncomfortable that we did anyways. And then maybe next time it doesn't feel uncomfortable and then you do the next thing. So, you know, we've really redefined what success means for us.

And I felt like the entire time, like, we were on each other's side. Yeah. And it was never, you know, why are you feeling this way or why can't you, you know, do this or that. It was very much like, we're here to be together.

We're here to experience this together. We're here to support each other. And yeah, I was just very proud of us. I can't tell you.

I think I told you this like several times like personally like during the weekend but you were an excellent partner. You were, you supported me in my craziness that I didn't know I was really going, was not expected to have to be honest and you supported me and just we're like we're in this together and just like let's just talk about it and No one is being forced to do anything It's just like you just need to be honest and talk about it ahead of time Which I think was one of our our things that we talked about ahead of time is like if you're feeling any sort of way You need to talk about it in the moment and not wait For it yeah, and Another thing we said in the last episode was like this isn't gonna be the last time so you don't have to get it all in in one shot and You know, I think that is admittedly part of it is like You know, I wasn't ready to do a lot of things I thought I was ready to do So I'm gonna take some of that off of you because it wasn't like we didn't do things just because you Were feeling a certain way neither one of us was ready for what we thought we were ready for but at the same time, it's like if You're having a hard time and I push you and maybe we do do something but then you're like that was a terrible experience well we might not get another try you know so it's like we really need to be on the same team do it together you know take it whatever feels comfortable pace and just enjoy the enjoy the process it's a marathon not a sprint it's for sure yeah how do you feel that having like our first experience kind of Has anything changed how you feel about going into keto in next year?

I kind of experienced two different levels of attraction. There was like the outward physical, like that person is just traditionally very attractive looking. But then I had sort of a second level show up where it was. finding people attractive because of the way that they interacted with their partner or because they were like quirky or because they were awkward or they weren't just like making out with everybody they were like you know I was I was kind of turning my empath powers into like a little bit more of a detector dish and I was I was finding people that felt more like they were at our level that I were at our experience and I found those people to be a little bit more attractive from like that that energy level that you were kind of describing so I think yeah maybe just recalibrating you know what is interesting and attractive but Hmm Anything for you that comes up to you in that same bucket?

Um, I think for me it's going to be my Communication because he was a week long. Yep, and this was only like three days So like for and I was getting overwhelmed over three days So I think for me it's just like my communication and that like and just communicating like when I'm gonna need multiple breaks multiple like no socialization like no like outward sexual things like happening again, like I said like too many inputs I Have a hard time with so I just am going to know now.

I'm gonna need Breaks like every day. Well that were there. Yeah And whether that's like I just we just don't do anything until like later like evening late night like whatever and then we use The earlier part of the day like just for us or Alone time or like whatever it is. Whatever we decide we're gonna do.

I think that's gonna be the biggest Success meter like for me. Yeah, I think so too Any last thoughts No, I would say read the book and that It's either gonna be our next episode or the one after that So you probably have about two weeks to read it from the time you're listening to this Do you think we can make it like a little bit longer? sure, it doesn't matter but get on your library list for now the other significant others and That's coming up in the future. Yeah, maybe like We'll do one episode in between.

Yeah, I'll talk to the producer and we'll see what he says. So if you guys like our show, please subscribe to another platform you listen on. And you can contact us. You can find us on Instagram.

You can send us an email. And all of our contact info is in the show notes. That wraps up today's entry in the partnership lab. Until next time, stay curious.

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