Drop the Pride: When Everything Breaks at Once and You’re Not Okay

Speaker A: Sometimes you just have to pick up the phone or send a text and let people know that you're struggling or you're hurting and you're not in a good space. Um, I've recently learned that lesson, and I have been learning to an extent, but I don't always react the way that I'm supposed to things, you know? Um, and I've talked about being vulnerable before, but it seems like it. Things go in cycles and waves and seasons like they probably do for. For everybody here. Um, however, recently, like I mentioned in one of my last, uh, episodes, I've gone through a transaction that's kind of gone south, and it just seems like a bunch of stuff has been hitting and escalated at the same time, and shit has hit the fan. And, uh, I find myself wanting to call and talk to people, and I just. I want to, like, hit the call button or send that text, and I just don't. And I know it's stupid, and it's because I'm prideful and because I want to do everything, and I think I can do everything on my own. And sometimes you just can't. Welcome to the Legacy Builders Podcast. I am your host, Mario Gonzalez, Jr. Uh, you know, we. We want to uncover what generational wealth means to you and tell the stories along the way. So appreciate you being along for the journey. And today, I just want to unpack that, that we can't always do things on our own. And maybe we can, but when we're struggling, it is okay to talk to people. It is okay to tell people that, hey, I don't need anything right now. I just need for you to listen. I have been. Always been very independent and consider myself a strong person and, um, you know, emotionally intelligent. And it's always been extremely hard for me to ask for help, whether it's from, you know, the higher power or friends and family. And then when I do, I feel like I'm not necessarily helpless, but I feel like I am, um, bothering folks. Right? Like, people have their own problems. They have their own lives to live, and I just feel selfish. You know, I know some of y' all are in the same boat, and it's good to set aside that pride sometimes and just talk to people whether they can help you or not, and not expect any help. Um, but I had a sit down with one of my buddies a few days ago, and he was like, hey, man, you know, you made the choice. You made the choice to be an entrepreneur. You. You made the choice to, you know, have kids. You made the choice to do all those things. At the end of the day, you can only control what you can control, right? You can't control how. What happens to you, but you can control how you react to them. And let's be honest, people, it's not always easy to not be stressed. Stress comes in a lot of different forms. The way we react to stress comes in a lot of different forms. Maybe, maybe it's a lack of sleep. Maybe you're just feeling depressed. You know, maybe you're using crutches. Whether that's drinking alcohol or smoking or whatever it is, um, as much as we try and relieve that stress with those crutches, or go to the gym or work out or take bike rides, it is not easy to battle through those things. And the times where I have gave in to my pride and I've reached out and I've seeked, you know, help again, whether it's a listening, ah, ear or whatever it is, um, it has helped me tremendously. So recently I went with a friend to, um. It was like a Kentucky Derby party. And she was telling me about a story, uh, about an associate that she's been working with and how this individual, um, found out recently that he had colon cancer. And he confided in her, and she was like, hey, uh, have you told your parents? And he said, no. And she was like, you really need to tell your parents. And he's like, yeah, but they're already worried, and I don't want to bother them. And she's like, you have to tell them. And coincidentally, that same day, I had typed up a message to my parents, and I was like, I just want to let y' all know that I'm not in a good place right now. I have a lot of stuff going on. And I know I act like I'm strong, and I have all of this, you know, all my shit put together that, um, you know, I'm okay, but I'm not. And immediately, um, you know, they text me back and call me, and we had long conversations. And after that conversation, I felt a lot better. Um, but those. The last two months and those two days before I sent that message, there was so much stuff going on. And ultimately I ended up figuring it out and ironing it out. And, um, the lesson I took from that is, like, you can only take it one day at a time. Uh, you know, really appreciate the small wins when they do happen, because they do happen. Something that you. You think is not a huge deal can actually a big be a big deal. Right? So for Example, the, the business that I bought in Texas, I had two folks put in their notices within two days of each other. And I don't live back in Austin, Texas so that way I can fill in the gaps. And I had uh, an incident with one of the animals that we've been watching and that happened. And then I had another employee quit at ah, uh, my business up here in Boise, Idaho. And I'm just flipping the F out because I have to try and find a new building and just a lot of different things. And um, uh, I, I start texting and reaching out to folks and trying to figure out how I'm going to fill gaps. And one of the girls that's has been there and been back up, she's like, yeah, I can cover X dates, which is the day that I needed to fill. Because I'm trying to figure out if I gotta book a last minute flight to Austin so that I can cover that. But it was gonna cost me a thousand dollars and so it's just long winded, a lot of crazy shit going on. And that made me feel a little better. Cause I'm like, oh, so you just kind of chipping away at things, right? Um, so to manage stress, that definitely helps. Just focus on the things that you can't control. Okay? But still take the time, reach out to people, let them know how you're doing. Again, not that you need their help or you expect anything out of them, but that you're struggling and you just need somebody to talk and vent to. And I guarantee in the beginning it is going to feel weird. It is going to feel like you're sharing too much of your life. Like some of the things you're about to say, you don't want to, you want to keep it bottled up. But I'm telling you from experience, keeping those things bottled up does not help. And it's also a different story if you're confiding and you're telling folks uh, about a situation, you're not doing anything about it. Right? I have met folks in my life who always complain, but they keep doing the same thing and they keep getting stuck in the situation versus someone like myself or people that I've spoken to who come to me with the problem, talk it out, you know, but they're consistently in the background working and trying to fix the issue that's going on. It's not like they're like, boo hoo, woe is me. And they're still picking up the bottle every night. You know, they're not taking the steps to better themselves. If you're going to somebody and you're talking to them and you're venting and you're telling them that you're not in a good spot, and you're actually taking the steps to try and better yourself and be a better person and get yourself out of a situation, you shouldn't feel guilty about taking people's time. And if you're talking to the right people and you have the right people in your life, they're going to want to listen. They're going to want to be there to support you and just be a shoulder to lean on. Right. So anyway, I wanted to share that with everybody. It is okay. It is okay to talk to people. If there's somebody you've been reaching out to or wanting, uh, to reach out to to let them know that you're not in a good place. Make the phone call, Send the text message. It's going to feel awkward at first, but once you get it off your chest, you'll feel much better about yourself. And don't be afraid to return the favor if you haven't talked to somebody in a while. Hey, how's it going? Been thinking about you. There you go. Right. Karma. So thanks for, uh, listening, and, uh, we will see you in the next one.