Teaching Through Tragedy: Katlyn Godwin’s Story of Loss and Resilience

Speaker A: Welcome to the Ed Essentials Podcast, the show where education meets leadership. This podcast is all about exploring the most important topics in education and leadership, and I'd love to hear from you. If you've got questions, ideas, or topics you want to hear covered, shoot me an emailedessentials ah.networkmail ah.com and while you're at it, make sure to follow me on social media. You can find me on Instagram, Twitter, and more by searching Essentials on Twitter. Underscore. Now, today's episode is one of the most powerful conversations we've ever had on the show. I'm joined by Caitlin Godwin, who is an educator, podcaster, and writer who opens up about navigating unimaginable loss after the sudden passing of her husband. All while teaching full time, attending grad school and raising her daughter. Caitlin shares how she found strength in community, therapy, faith and, and creativity, and how she turned her grief into a platform to support others. We explore what it means to truly care for our colleagues, how leaders can build a culture of empathy, and why educators need space to heal as much as they need tools to teach. If you've ever faced adversity in the classroom or in life, this episode is for you. Now, let's get started. Foreign. Welcome, everyone, to another episode of the Ed Essentials podcast, the show where education meets leadership. I am stoked today because I now have Caitlin, formerly Sharper, now Godwin, recently married on the podcast. Caitlin and I went through our master's program together at Drake University. Uh, I have been so inspired by her story. She's going to share with us today, um, and all about her work. She's an educator and also a podcaster and now writing a book as well. She's just doing all the things. Caitlin, how are you doing?

Speaker B: Hi, Hunter. I'm doing wonderful. I'm so excited to be on this podcast, um, to chit chat about all the things with you and yeah, it's an honor to be on the show today, so thank you.

Speaker A: Ah, yeah, I feel honored to have you again. Um, I've always been inspired by you, everything that you've been through. And I know the topic of today can weigh heavy on people. We're going to talk about grief, um, talking about how educators, you know, and grief, as we'll talk about, shows up in a lot of different ways. But, um, educators, what they are going through nowadays more than ever, it's so important to be equipped with the right tools, the right network, the right support. And so I'm really excited for you To A, share your story, then B, kind of go through all the ways that you made it on the other side and what you'd recommend for educators. So, Caitlin, for those that don't know you, um, like I do, tell them a little bit about yourself, and we can kind of dig into your story and who you are and kind of go off of. Go off of that.

Speaker B: Yeah. So, like I said, Hunter and I, we met in grad school, um, in 20. What was it? 2018?

Speaker A: Oh, you're going to ask me years ago? Uh, no.

Speaker B: Oh, my gosh.

Speaker A: It would have been 2018. 2022, 2023. Yeah, just a couple years ago, I think.

Speaker B: You and I met in 2022. 2021, maybe. I know, um, with our master's program. And, um, at that point in my life, I was married to my husband Riley, and I just found out I was pregnant with our daughter Chloe. And I remember, like, anyone that's listening that's, you know, been a mom through grad school and even just as an educator, maybe you're in admin. You know, it's tough, um, but it's equally rewarding, and it's a wonderful thing. But I remember finding out I was pregnant, and I just started at Drake, and I was just like, oh, no, this is going to be the hardest thing ever. And little did I know I had a lot more coming for me. So made it through the first couple years, or the first year pregnant with Chloe, and then, um, postpartum with grad school and teaching full time and, you know, no sleep. That was hard. And then, um, In January of 2023, my husband Riley passed, um, away tragically in a car accident. Um, and our daughter Chloe was 10 months old. So, Hunter, I feel like we knew each other in, like, the worst part of my life. I mean, when we first met, right? And our whole cohort, you know, it was wild that you guys all went through so much with me. Um, and so Riley died in that January. And then I decided to continue at Drake. I had two more classes left, and our amazing cohort, our amazing professors, everyone at Drake, I can't say enough good things because I was able to, um, you know, get through it and graduate because I know that's what Riley would. Would have wanted for me. So I'm really proud to say that I did that. Um, but, yeah, since losing Riley, I have kind of honed in on, um, grief and sharing my grief and my journey and my stories with others, um, hoping to inspire, um, and give people hope through their toughest Moments, um, in grief and loss. And Desert Stories is the name of my podcast, and it actually started out as a blog. So, um, I started writing. So I'm a really creative person. I was an art educator for seven years. Um, but my creativity kind of shifted to writing, and it was so therapeutic for me. And I started writing and reading my blog entries to my therapist, my grief counselor, and she was just like, oh, my gosh, Caitlin, you should start a blog. You know, you should start sharing this with others. And so I did, and then that kind of turned into my podcast, and m. That's kind of the Cliff Notes of my story and where I am now. But I did just get married a week and a half ago, which is wild. Um, so Riley's been gone for a little over two years. Um, and God is so good that I have a new husband. And, um, I kind of get to start this new chapter of my life and not forget Riley or forget, you know, my life, what my life was like before, but kind of move forward in a really beautiful way. So that's where I'm at now.

Speaker A: And congratulations to you. I mean, my goodness. And obviously, you know this better than anybody. It's something like that that's traumatic, that happens in your life. It's something that never truly goes away. It's something you continue to work through and, like, handle each and every day.

Speaker B: Yes.

Speaker A: Um, so as great of a spot we're always in, we're always going to be thinking of, okay, how can I continue to grow myself? How can I continue to build myself, knowing that, um, that piece is never, never going to go away? Um, but I am on the other side. I'm stronger for it now. When you were first going through that, Caitlin, um, what did you find solace in? Or what were some of the things that maybe you and your therapist had kind of talked through? Would you recommend, like, hey, for me, I found that creative side that was a great way for me to really grapple with this. Um, because there's lots of educators that are out there hearing your story and thinking, oh, my God, how did she even do this? Like, I can't even imagine. That's how I. That's how I and all of our cohort were when we were sitting there, um, hearing the news, um, from you. And so where would you say, for educators who are struggling with something like this or just something that's traumatic in their life, where do they start?

Speaker B: Yeah, great question. Um, so you never think it's going to happen to you, right? Um, I mean, I was living the American dream. Everything was going so well. You know, Riley and I both had amazing careers. He was a urologist at Iowa Clinic. I was an educator. And, you know, when that happened, happens to you, it's like there's no roadmap. Right? I remember saying that so many times, like, there's no roadmap for this. I just planning his funeral and the aftermath, and am I going to go back to work and all the things. And one of my friends, um, is a psychologist. And I'd reached out to her because I knew the importance of mental health and therapy. And I had never been in therapy before, but as an educator and working with students and colleagues and, um, you know, just especially during that time post Covid, I feel like mental health was just on this rise of, like, how can we better serve our people? Right? And so therapy was almost instantly my first reaction. Like, I need professional help. Um, and so I reached out to my friend who's a psychologist, and she set me up with an amazing grief counselor. And I have gone every week for the last two and a half years. Um, and I love it. And even though I'm not in, like, the depths of my grief, like I was at the beginning, now she's just this sound, unbiased, amazing professional that helps me through, like, really silly things now, like planning a wedding. And, you know, it's. It's just funny how our conversations have changed over the last two years. But I would say, um, if educators are going through something really hard, um, and shocking, uh, to seek professional help, um, that would be my first thing. And then just lean into your people. Um, I had such an amazing community. Um, I can't say enough good things about the Waukee community school districts. Brad, um, Buck, the superintendent, uh, all the people that, um, donated sick days for me and personal days, uh, so that I could take MFLA or what is it?

Speaker A: FMLA.

Speaker B: FMLA sorry. Yeah. So basically, I was able to take 12 weeks off, and that was only because people donated their personal days to me. And so I think that that came from having relationships in that school district and, you know, having my people kind of established before it happened that, like, they showed up for me in such big ways. And then, um, I had an amazing church community, my neighborhood, um, and it was really hard for me and Hunter, you and I are the same Enneagram. I think enneagram3, um, is the achiever, right?

Speaker A: Yes.

Speaker B: And achievers want to do it all, and they want to do it all perfectly. And when you're grieving, you can't do that. You can hardly get out of bed. And it was really hard for me to swallow my pride and let people help. But I would say to anyone that's in that like, like hopelessness where it is hard to get out of bed, it's hard to go to work every day, like, let people help you. Um, and don't feel ashamed and don't feel bad about that. Um, and then lastly, and I won't go into an extent detail of this, but like, my faith is just so important to me. Um, and you'll find if you tune into Desert Stories podcast, I talk a lot about my faith and just how Jesus carried me. Um, because I do think that, you know, in those situations you realize that there has to be something bigger than yourself to get it through. Right? Like bigger than humanity, bigger, um, than anything that we can do on this side of heaven. And so, um, yeah, my faith is just, has been. My rock has gotten me through all of this as well.

Speaker A: So, yeah, you mentioned so many, so many important things. And when, you know, if you're an educator listening to this, whether you're a teacher, school leader, paraprofessional, whatever it might be, um, what I'm hearing you say, Caitlin, is that there's a spectrum to all of this too. Right? You might hear Caitlin's story and think, oh my gosh, that is like, what are the odds of something like that happening? But like you said, those things are happening to people all the time and grief shows itself in so many different ways. Um, uh, trauma, stress. I mean, that has been. Like you mentioned Covid earlier, um, ever since COVID has hit. People nowadays are so, um, uh, and I'm not saying the word sensitive in a negative way. They're in tune and sensitive to the topic of man. How am I feeling? I'm just, I'm aware of how overwhelmed I'm feeling. So, I mean, even if you're a person that's just struggling with the day to day demands of the job, which I think is a very real, real deal for a lot of educators, like talk to someone about it. Like Caitlin said, lean into a network of people. Um, I don't know about you, Caitlin, being the art educator. For me, I was the seventh grade science teacher and I was the only one in my building. And so I always felt like it was me on an island and I really had to push myself to make connections with people in my building. So, you know, what might you recommend for someone who's maybe, um, is going through some of these things, they're dealing with stress or trauma or grief. But maybe they're timid, maybe they're scared to. Or maybe they feel like they don't have that network that they can go to. What might you recommend as some steps for those folks?

Speaker B: Yeah, that is such a good question. And I don't know if I'm going to answer this perfectly, but I can also relate to that. Um, in Waukee, I was lucky. I had 10 other art teachers. I had my related arts, um, PLC that those were my people. But my first job, um, out of college, I was a kindergarten through 12th grade art teacher up in Sioux Central, um, rural Iowa. And I did not have anyone in my building that taught art. And it was a rural district as well, or. Yeah, rural district. So, you know, the neighboring schools were 20 miles away and you know, it was just, it wasn't good. So I have been there and as a brand new teacher, I remember. And I also coached, uh, varsity basketball. And I was so lost. I was 24 and it was a wonderful experience. But I just remember, like, sitting, um, in my big art room and just crying because I didn't know what to do. One, I didn't know how to teach the curriculum. Two, I didn't know how to be a teacher at 24 teaching 18 year olds. Three, I didn't have any support. And so what I ended up doing was I went across the hallway and I reached out to. It was actually the science teacher, Hunter, which is funny. And he was a veteran. He was someone that had been there forever and was on the verge of retirement. And I just remember saying, I need help. Like, how, how do I do this? And sometimes it is, I understand, like if you're timid or introverted, like, sometimes you have to be the one to advocate for yourself, even if it's just to one other person, like, because you can't do it alone. That's just the hard truth. Right. Like we need support as educators. Um, whether you're going through something minuscule or something huge, um, I think you just have to put yourself out there and find your people. And if that's not the case, then I think you need to be, um, feeding your mental health outside of school, um, in positive ways, uh, finding that rest and relaxation, um, somewhere else in that solitude to just get yourself right mentally. I mean, I don't know. What do you do, Hunter, for fun? To try to release stress?

Speaker A: Uh, so many things. I'm a super fun guy, of course. Caitlin. Um, I'm the Typical person that overworks themselves. And so I think for the entirety of my teaching career, I was the guy that went home and continued to just work on school things. Um, and I found that that was unsustainable. I, um, really had to start. And now going into admin, I kind of see both sides. Right. Um, because there is a message out there that, hey, teaching, um, is hard. My contract ends at 4:00 clock and I shouldn't have to do anything when I'm at home. Well, yes and no. Right? Yes. To the degree that as long as you're succeeding and doing a great job at school, awesome. If you're not, what can we do to help you get there? Um, and I do think in those first couple years, in order to be great, you do have to put a lot of that time in. Um, but I will say this, you've got to have the network of people at your school that readjusts your reality. Um, and what I mean by that is we go in as bright, doughy eyed, high energy teachers, first, second, third year that are ready to make a difference. And I think there's a calibration over those years that takes place of, oh, man, I, I thought teaching was gonna be here and it's here. Like, I have to work this hard in order to be successful. Um, and I think over time, right, the time that you get to spend back to yourself, um, outside of school helps a lot. Um, and now year six in education, um, I feel like I've got a good balance of, hey, I know the days of the week that I'm gonna spend working hard, overtime, and the days of the week that are completely protected from me, um, or for me and the girlfriend. Right? Like, you just have to find what balance works best for you. Because if you can't fill it up with fun things to do, positive things to do, whether it's going out to eat once a week or it's, hey, tonight's my movie night, or whatever it is that you do for fun. Those are the things I like to do for fun. Um, like it doesn't have to be big, but it needs to be for you. Um, there will always be emails coming. There will always be someone that's asking you of things. Um, so I guess in a long, roundabout way of answering your question, I think that that's what you have to do. Like, you have to figure out what works best for you. And you listen to all the wellness podcasts out there that will say that. Um, but it's the truth. It just is um, and no one else can really help you find that but you. Um, so that makes sense 100%.

Speaker B: Yeah.

Speaker A: Um, so kind of on that same line of thinking, um, like, what would you say for maybe the admin that's trying to support these teachers? And, you know, for me, I'm year two into admin, so I'm still learning this and figuring this out. But how do we help? You know, how. What would you say to school leaders in particular to help their staff feel, um, more supported or more protective of their time or that message of mental health and taking care of yourself? Like, what advice would you give to a principal or an AP listening to this that sees their staff struggling and wants to help but doesn't quite know how?

Speaker B: Yeah, absolutely. What a good question. And I think, um, for you and I being educators before admin, I mean, I'm not admin yet, but like, you, you kind of have that innate empathy within you, um, that you had for your students. And so I would say to admin to continue that empathy towards your staff just the way that you had for your students, and not to disconnect from that, because I think relationships and empathy go so far. And I think the biggest thing, I would say, um, like, if you have a staff member that went through what I went through or something minuscule, um, you know, everything is relative. Right? Um, to what we go through. But I, um, would say always assume best intentions, um, because you never know what people are going through in their personal life. And, you know, it's hard to kind of tiptoe on that line of personal and professional. Like, you still want to keep that professional relationship. But I just remember my, um, my boss, Greg. Greg Carrenza at, uh, Walnut Hills Elementary. Um, when Riley died, when he got word of it, he came down to the er, he was in the trauma bay. Like, that is an outstanding administrator and friend and someone who deeply cares for you. Um, and so I would say that's a pretty drastic thing, but, I mean, he took care of everything after that. Now, let's say I were to have gone back to work, which I didn't end up doing, but people do. I mean, it's. It's crazy, right? Um, and like, in my case, you know, the building would probably know. But again, another case where you're going through something personal and maybe it's someone who doesn't talk about it as much. Right? Um, I would just say assume best intentions. If they're off, if they're not doing the best that they can do, um, in your Eyes as an educator, maybe they're failing students. Maybe, um, they're just not quite themselves. I would always address those one on one conversations with, hey, how are you? How can I better support you as your admin? Um, is something wrong? Or start that way instead of like, hey, I've noticed that you're just not quite up to par. Right. I mean, I know you would never do that, Hunter, but I mean, you really do need to start with empathy and you need to lead with that relationship and hopefully that you've, you know, built that positive, um, piggy bank with them, um, full of positive interactions that you're able to sit down and have those one on one vulnerable conversations. Um, and then when you figure out what's going on, giving them the tools to do their job well. Right. Whether that's connecting them with, um, a therapist, maybe their PLC can better support them in some areas. Um, maybe it's taking their lunch duty, um, or a recess duty. I know in elementary that was huge. Um, if you got off from a duty and had 15 extra minutes and could maybe even just shut your door and close your eyes for 15 minutes until the next class comes in. Because realistically there are days like that, and you know that just as well, Hunter, that when people are in survival mode, that's 15 minutes could change the rest of their day. Um, so I would just say, yeah, uh, leading with, um, with empathy and understanding and relationships goes such a long ways.

Speaker A: Yeah, you hit the nail on the head with that. Uh, I, as you're saying all of that, I'm just visualizing my principle and I have to remind myself, like, and I don't know, I feel like I'm a good people person. But I, I sometimes find myself having to explicitly say, like, we're all humans. At the end of the day, we are all just people. And as an admin and a relatively young admin, Right. I'm having to balance and I'm, I'm learning each and every day, like there might be something crazy that happens in someone's life and the politics of that person not showing up to a recess duty because they're dealing with something outside of school that I know about, but my staff doesn't know about. I'm the one that has to ride that line. And that's a tough thing to grapple, um, to grapple with. And so for administrators listening anytime that you can be so explicit about, like that message of I'm gonna support you as people, if you see these things happening, like, assume positive intent, like caton said, um, one thing that I really pride myself on is visibility. I've had a ton of teachers just thank me for. They know when I've got my backpack on and my tennis shoes on, I'm mobile, I'm not in my office, I'm out and about. I'm gonna be in the pods, I'm gonna be in the classrooms checking in on them and just that visual feeling of, oh, my leader's gonna be there for me, or, oh, I feel more comfortable and confident now, whatever might be stressing me out. Even if it's outside of school, maybe it's just inside of school. Maybe it's that the kiddo you really struggle with, um, is extra today. So seeing me come by or sitting down in the pod helps you feel more calm or more, more at ease, um, little things like that. But you mentioned something really important that, um, I really want folks to take away is the only way that you, as the admin can know what's going on is by you recognizing it and having those check ins. So if you are sitting in your office and you're not asking the person, hey, how are you doing? Or do you like admin? Do you know your teacher's, um, significant other's names? Do you know their kids? Do you know what they're involved in? Do you know, like. And yes, it seems like a lot, but those are the things that are weighing on people's lives. So invest in the people, invest in knowing them and they in turn will do better work for you and also come to bat for you when it comes time to, as the admin, you've got to ask for something.

Speaker B: Yeah, absolutely. And I do want to put in one other plug. So at my school we had different committees and I know every building does things differently, but you know, as an admin, you can't do it. All right. And, um, we had an energy committee. And this was something that if something bad did happen to a staff member, whether they lost a pet or lost their significant other, or their mom got diagnosed with cancer or their brother was in a car accident, whatever, um, we would always have like a card and a gift card, um, that the energy team would set up and then flowers sent or something. Because that, as an admin, you're, you know, that, that is taken care of, but it means so much to the person because are you gonna have time to run and grab flowers and a card and organize all that? No, but to have that in place in your building is just such a beautiful thing because it's like all right, you can delegate it. It's done. That person feels cared for and loved, and it's just a really good thing to bring people together. So that would be my other plug for admin.

Speaker A: Absolutely. Little things like that go a long way. It just takes that little extra step, whether it's the thought or the written note or a committee like that doing good work to make sure that those things are happening. Because especially if you're a leader listening, you can't be the one to know. Yes, you're going to give it your all to try to know everything about everybody, but there are things that happen that your teachers are going to be better equipped to handle and inform you of. So, Caitlin, I want to go into this topic, and I know it's not on our question list, uh, here, but I'm curious your thoughts on, especially since the pandemic, this concept of toxic positivity and just what your thoughts are on it. Because nowadays in schools, and maybe not nowadays, but just in schools, it seems like, um, hey, there's a lot of people that are, hey, be happy, Go lucky. Be happy, go lucky. And, like, we're gonna do great. We're gonna change lives, and we're gonna ignore the bad. I wanna know what your thoughts are on this concept of toxic positivity, this idea that we can be overly positive and then that hurts other people. Um, and how does that balance with realistically balancing grief and the realities of life and teaching, and how do we balance that? So dive in however you want.

Speaker B: Oh, I love this. Hunter, this is such a great topic because, again, I did not go back to work after losing Riley. But I can tell you that in the depths of my hardest grief, even going to the grocery store and the upbeat woman that was checking me out. How was your day? Your daughter's so cute. How are you? I. No, I could not match that energy. I could hardly get up out of bed that day, and I'm like. And that goes back to. You never know people's stories, right? That woman had the best intentions. She was doing her job really well. But for me, I was like, oh, my gosh, I want to punch this lady, because she has no idea what's going on in my life. And so I think that that carries over. And especially with the stress of education post Covid, um, people are dealing with real life things, real life stresses. Everyone has something going on in their personal life. And although it's a wonderful characteristic to be positive every morning about your job and to, uh, be positive with students and upbeat I think we have to find a balance of living normal lives where we show our students when we're sad and we show our students when we're frustrated. Um, and we also condone those emotions when they show them. And it's okay, right? As long as it doesn't cross the line of disrespect. And, you know, there's a lot of things we could go into with that. But, you know, if. If a student is upset, I'm gonna try to meet them where they're at and show empathy. And I'm not gonna say, hey, buck up, buttercup. It's all good. Like, it's just not realistic. And I think it would really, really upset me if I were. If I would have gone back and everyone would have just been positive all the time, because you're going to have really rough days. And something I learned in therapy was, I actually had it written down, was you never want to play the victim entirely when you're in grief. And you don't want to live in your grief, you don't want to feed your grief. And so that is something like a delicate balance of, okay, you can have bad days, you can have awful days, you can have days, you don't leave the house and you're throwing a giant pity party. And, you know, depression is one of the five stages of grief that I went through, and I went through it very harshly. And that is what it is, right? You have to get through that stage. So there's part of living it, but then you don't want to feed it either. And that can go for grief, that can go for trauma, that can go for anything you're dealing with in your personal life. Finding that balance of, hey, I'm not going to play the victim all day, every day, but I can have moments where it's really hard and it's okay. And so just giving yourself grace and all of that. And I think we don't do each other any favors, um, as colleagues, when we don't, um, empathize and step into people's messes with them and help them get through it. I think it makes it worse if you. The toxic positivity. That's just my take. Um, I don't know what your thoughts are as an admin, I'd actually really love to hear it. What are you feeling these days?

Speaker A: And I struggle with this concept, too, because, you know me, I'm. I am the one that would be considered toxically positive.

Speaker B: Um, yeah, I would probably be that, too. I mean, we're both Very high energy.

Speaker A: Yep.

Speaker B: Love people love talking. Yeah.

Speaker A: Yes. And I think there is. There's a fine line between, um, like, true, meaningful positivity and the toxic version. Right. Like, it can. It can. It only takes intent to. Like, if you're trying to mask all the reality. Right. And that's constantly what you're doing. I think people are very intuitive to that and they can snuff that out. Um, and then that comes off as disingenuous, not realistic, not human. And that's where you kind of lose your culture. You lose your standing as a leader. Right. But I also. My principal will say this till his dying breath. Our culture is what we allow it to be. And so there are those people in organizations that. Right. And. Well, let me make this point first. I would say there's a fine line, too, between, um, realistic and understandable. Grief, sadness, struggle, and culture killing, where it's negativity for the. Just for the benefit of being negative.

Speaker B: Absolutely.

Speaker A: As a leader, you've got to know the difference between the two. Because if you are addressing the people who are truly struggling with problems or truly struggling with not even personal stuff, but things at work that you can't. That you are either A, ignoring because of your positivity and thinking it's all hunky dory, um, or B, you're just not, I don't know, you're just not even in tune to the problem itself. Um, that's a problem. So I have had more experiences with the other half of people who are struggling and negative. Just more for the sake of being negative. And for me, as a leader, that has to be my responsibility. Um, I should not expect a teammate, um, another teacher to have to try and fix that. Um, now there are definitely teachers who maybe have more influence, who I could utilize and lean on to, um, help push them in the right direction. But ultimately, there are those negative people in an organization that. That's m. Me. That is hand up AP Principal's job. We're coming in the office, and I am going to have the conversation of, hey, how's it going? But it's going to be the conversation of, why is it still going this way? I thought we fixed this problem. Um, you know, Todd Whitaker told me this story a long time ago on the podcast about, you know, he had a teacher, and as a young educator. Excuse, uh, me, young principal. He would go around and every day he would hear about this young, young boy in the class who's causing all these problems, all these problems, all these problems. Then one day he finally, uh, changes the kid out of the classroom and thinks, oh, hey, Ms. So and so, I really made your day. Oh, this other kid, now, he's so bad. Right? And it's just never good enough. And so, ultimately, as a leader, you've got to know the difference, right? You got to know the difference between the culture killers and the people who are really struggling, as well as yourself. How can you communicate a message of realism and positivity without coming off as disingenuous? Um, and the only way to do that is to, uh, I think you got to have the relationships with your people. You, by learning them, will know what to say, how to say it. Um, but you also mentioned Caitlin, too. It comes a lot from who you are. If you are being true to yourself, if you are, um, not masking your emotions and sharing that, hey, staff, this was a hard week. Here's what's going on in my life. I share very openly about my dad and his cancer and the things that he's going through with my staff. Um, I don't expect anything for it, but I want them to know because it just helps them understand. Hey, if I'm looking at my phone, it's probably because I'm getting a text from my dad, um, or an update on how his treatment's going. Right. Um, there are things that we've just got to assume positive intent on, but we also can't expect everyone, if we're in that grief, um, or in that struggle, we can't also just expect everyone to know what's going on in our life.

Speaker B: Exactly. Yeah. And I do think that's just where relationships, um, come into play with colleagues and, um, and just like you said, the culture of the building, um, and that ultimately comes down to admin and how they're fostering, um, the climate and culture of their. Of their building.

Speaker A: So it's huge. Is there anything else, you know, as we start to wind down, is there anything else that you would want listeners to know, like things that you've learned through therapy or good pieces of advice, um, as they try to make this final stretch to the end of the school year here with, um, the big push? I know state testing is coming up for so many folks. I feel like the spring break is over. So now we're kind of in the push to the end. What would you say to educators who are listening that are really trying to make this end of the year positive?

Speaker B: Um, well, again, I would take advantage of talking to someone, if you can, um, whether that's, um, a Counselor within your district. I know some districts have a district counselor, um, or that seeking outside professional help. I know our insurance, most insurances cover it. Um, and like I said, it is just an unbiased professional person that you can vent and spill your guts to and you just feel so much better talking things through. So again, I cannot emphasize that enough. It doesn't have to be a grief counselor. It can just be any typical therapist or counselor. The other thing that really helped me through my first year of grief was having something on the calendar to look forward to once a month. Um, and I love to travel. Um, and I was really, really blessed to be able to do that. And so having like a little weekend trip or a bigger trip planned, um, once a month was just massive for me. I remember one thing was like the Vikings packers game. Um, I'm a massive Vikings fan. So I had that to look forward to.

Speaker A: One month.

Speaker B: Yeah. Even though we blew it.

Speaker A: I know.

Speaker B: Have a whole segment.

Speaker A: We're still struggling with that.

Speaker B: Anyway, um, so I had that and then I went and visited my brother in Denver. And I understand as an, as an educator, you can't go on a weekend trip every month, but maybe it's, hey, I'm going to get my nails done, um, next weekend or the weekend after that. I'm going to get a massage or I'm going to get dinner with a friend I haven't done in a while. Um, you know, there's. There's so many things that you can intentionally put on your calendar for self care that when you are in that countdown to spring break and countdown to testing, and when testing is over and then it's summer break. Right. Instead of counting down to maybe the things that are stressing you out, counting down to something to look forward to, um, to kind of push you through to the end of the year. I don't know if you find that helpful, Hunter, but I just, I still do it to this day after losing Riley. It's just one fun thing on the calendar once a month. It just really keeps you upbeat when you have hard days.

Speaker A: Education. I'm so glad you said that, Caitlin, because. And my mom will be like, ha, ha, I told you so. She, um, was a longtime principal admin.

Speaker B: Yes, she was.

Speaker A: Yeah. Um, and so she's always told me, pace yourself. It's a long business in the business of education. Just pace yourself. Um, and the only way you can pace yourself is by living life. Um, it doesn't mean that you can't value state testing. It doesn't Mean, you can't value the day to day grind. Because I. My phrase lately, Caitlin, has been, the grass is green where you water it. So I really have been reflective of that. And I do take value in the little things, um, that allow me to show up to work, to be my best. Whether it's coffee, done well in the morning, I don't know. I've been recently introduced to Nespresso and it's changed my life. Uh, it can be something little like that. It can be the drive in, like, give yourself time to take in fresh air, sunlight. Like, I look forward to recess duty most days, um, because I get to be out there and actually take in the sun now that it's nice out. Right. So if you're finding like, little changes in your routine make a big difference. That doesn't have to be something, something big, like a big traveling, um, you know, vacation or whatever. Like, do that. But whatever it is, be intentional with it. Um, and what Caitlin said, plan it out.

Speaker B: Um, yes, I think that's the key, is making it intentional. Like, this is my fun thing for the month and I can't wait to do it. Um, because it does it just. And now especially the weather's getting nicer. I would agree with you, Hunter, if you guys can get outside in the morning or after work. Um, I feel like we're just complicated house plants. We just need water and sunlight. Yes, we feel better. Right?

Speaker A: We do.

Speaker B: Because this winter was brutal. So I would encourage also, as the weather gets nicer, just let the sun hit your face and soak it all in. And now that the days are longer too, just get outside and move your body. Um, I'll put a quick plug into that. Just, um. I know not everybody's like, into running or fitness, but if you, um, if you are even just a yoga person or whatever, I would highly, highly recommend if you are in grief, if you are struggling with trauma, um, to move your body. And I ran, I think it was like my 12th half marathon or something after Riley died. Um, I try to do a half every year and that's just my thing. I just love to run. And I will tell you, it is just so healing. It is so good for your nervous system. Um, it's just so good for your overall well being to take care of your body and move your body. So there's my plug for fitness. It doesn't have to be a half marathon, um, but it can be a walk in the park. You can walk your dog, but just move your body. Um, that would be My last.

Speaker A: I cannot echo that enough. Um, getting outside. Move your body. I felt like, especially in my first couple years of teaching, I've been in a pretty lucky boat. I was single. I was living by myself. I didn't have many responsibilities other than, hey, I'm teaching, living by myself. I got my dog, but, um, so I could go to the gym kind of whenever I wanted. Now it's a little bit different, but, um, my goodness, like, every stressful situation I've been in, if I'm able to go to the gym, I'm usually finding one of two things. I'm either finding clarity, and whatever I was stressing about goes away. Um, or B, I'm realizing that, like, oh, this actually is how I solve it. Right? Like, if I can't de. Stress myself from the situation and the fact that I have to accept it, I'm most likely gonna find some clarity on the other side. Um, so I would say move your body. The last thing I would say. You got me thinking about it. Screen time. Um, especially for. And I hate to say it, but our newer generation of teachers that are coming into the field who have, um, this unrealistic idea of what teaching is supposed to look, sound, and feel like. And, um, just stay off the social media. The algorithm will kill you. Um, it will feed you everything that, um, it's gonna keep you on it. Yes. And there totally is a realistic side of education where it's hard and people are struggling. But once you start liking a few of those posts, man, I went through that. That's all I saw. And all I saw was negativity. And all I saw was why people are leaving teaching and why education's the worst. And, oh, my gosh, like I said earlier, the grass is green where you water it. We get a lot of power and autonomy and control over our stress and over our experience. And so for any new educator, and that goes for any educator. I'm not trying to pick on our young educators, but anyone out there, like, you get a lot of power, control over that. So don't let social media be the thing that's controlling your view of your life and what you think it should be and how it should feel and sound 100%.

Speaker B: I'm very grateful, Hunter, that we were not in the generation that had smartphones during high school and college, because I don't know what I would do. Also have a lot of empathy for, like you said, our young educators, because it's all they know. And we probably are on that last, um, you know, group of people that didn't quite have it as intense as is now. But, um, yeah, I. I would echo what you said is just limit your screen time. Um, set alarms on your phone. I have, like, a screen thing for Facebook and Instagram that it'll remind me because I have one hour a day for each app, and then it'll tell me, like, you've reached your screen time now. Do I scroll and flip it open and ignore it? Yes, sometimes. But it just helps you be accountable, you know?

Speaker A: Totally.

Speaker B: Um, and leaving my phone like, this is something I'm practicing, too, is like leaving my phone on the kitchen island charged for, like, most of the day and being present and be where your feet are. Um, and then checking it in, checking in before I go to sleep or before supper. And I am not perfect by that, by any means, but I did give up. Um, like, I guess I didn't set an actual limit, but just less screen time for Lent. And that's been something I've been trying to do is just leave it face down on the kitchen island and not checking it every 10 minutes because it's

Speaker A: so easy to do.

Speaker B: You're not meant to be that accessible. You're not meant to be that accessible.

Speaker A: Correct. I 100% agree. Caitlin. This has been so wonderful. Um, I want to give the audience a chance to connect with you, support your work. So how can they connect with you, how they can continue to support your work with desert stories and all the things you've got going on?

Speaker B: Yeah. So feel free to follow me on Facebook and Instagram. Like Hunter said, my last name did just change, so it's a little complicated, but I am Caitlin Godwin right now. Um, Caitlin Sharper was my previous name. Um, my website still says Caitlin Sharper, um, @squarespace.com, um, and there you will find my blogs, um, my blog posts, and then, um, you can find my podcast, Desert Stories, uh, with Caitlin Sharper, on anywhere you listen to your podcasts. Um, and I'm hoping to get back into that soon. I've got some interviews, uh, lined up. Um, but, yeah, there's just this natural shift happening in my life right now with getting married, and. Not that my grief is over, it will never be over. Um, but I am starting to move forward, um, in a different way. And so my platform is most likely going to shift because of that. Um, but feel free to continue to listen in or listen to previous episodes. Um, but I'm also going to be continuing to write my book and podcasting. So.

Speaker A: Wonderful. Like she said, I will go ahead and link all those in the show notes. So if you're looking to connect with Caitlin, follow her, see more of her story, her new life ahead, um, as well as to be on the lookout for, uh, any future episodes or that incoming book. I'm excited to see how that all turns out. Caitlin, um, truly, I cannot thank you enough for coming onto the show again. I, um, am so inspired by your story, um, and the fact that you've been able to, um, command it the way you have, uh, and turn it into something that others can learn from and really find power in, um, because so many of us do struggle with very real things, very serious things, each and every day, let alone the fact that we're educators trying to make it through, um, a tough field as is. So I cannot say thank you enough, Caitlin. It's been absolutely wonderful having you on.

Speaker B: Thank you, Hunter. It was such an honor. You rock.

Speaker A: Thanks for listening to this episode of the EdEssentials podcast. I'm incredibly grateful to Caitlin Godwin for opening up and sharing her deeply personal story. Her resilience is a reminder that while the work we do as educators is demanding, the human experience we carry with us matters just as much. If this episode sparked some ideas or gave you a new perspective, I would love to hear about it. So send me an emailedessentials.networkmail.com or connect with me on social media by following Essentials. I'm here to support your leadership journey and provide content that helps you grow and lead with purpose. And, hey, if you found this episode helpful, share it with a colleague or a fellow leader who might be walking through something difficult. You never know who might need to hear a story like Caitlin's today. Thanks again for tuning in. Keep leading, keep learning, and I'll see you next time on the Ed Essentials podcast.

Speaker B: This podcast is a proud member of the Teach Better Podcast network, Better Today, Better Tomorrow, and the podcast to get you there. Um, explore more podcasts at teachbetter. Com Podcasts and we'll see you at the next episode.