The Last She Built This Episode: How to End an Era

Speaker A: Welcome to the she Built this Podcast, where we are sharing the stories of professionals and entrepreneurs who are on a mission to create the new norm by following their dreams and making them a reality. I'm your host, Emily Aborn, and together we are inspiring, growing, and giving you the tools you need to bring ideas to life so you can build whatever this means for you. Hi. Welcome back to the Final for now. Yes, I said final. She Built this podcast episode. We're going to cover a good amount of ground today in what will be a relatively short episode, I assure you. Um, but I want to share some of the things that I've been sitting with and thinking about lately in regards to backing away a little bit from this podcast, a transition. And I hope that this inspires you. If you've been considering letting something go or shifting away from something or to permanently close something entirely, whether that has been personal, professional, spiritual, emotional, physical, something in between. Between, we're going to talk about how to say goodbye, how to end an era, if you will. Um, so I want to start by introducing myself, because if you have been here since day one, you know who I am, but if you haven't, and we do get new listeners all the time, uh, I can't actually remember the last time I officially kind of told you who I was. So let's start there and you'll hear more of my story, uh, in this episode to give you some context and perspective. Um, I'm Emily Aborn, and in addition to being the host and face of this podcast, I'm also the host of a second podcast called Content with Character, which we'll talk about later on. I'm a copywriter and content writer, which means I support small businesses in sharing their messages through websites, blogs, emails, brand messaging, other marketing materials. It's a lot of fun. I also do workshops, uh, social media, speaking, consulting, strategy, and podcast guesting, all under that same umbrella of content and copy. So that's me in a nutshell. Um, I've already shared the story many times of how she built this. The podcast started, but I'll glide through it real quick again because she built this has been many things, like the logo itself. It has worn many, many hats, if you will. Um, she built this was actually born out of my previous business. My first business, which was a retail shop in Amherst, New Hamp. And I had this desire to not feel so alone in that, uh, that business. So, along with a colleague, Kristen Hardwick, we kind of collaborated and threw together an event at a winery, a local winery, in November of 2018. At that event, we gathered over 150 New Hampshire women entrepreneurs and small business owners who felt the same way that we did. They didn't want to go it alone either. And from there, things just kind of took off. She built this evolved into a. Events and a Facebook community. This podcast started in, uh, July of 2019. We had masterminds, workshops, a paid membership, a directory, a community space, peer groups, more events, more workshops. I think that's all. I think that's it. Um, but I had sort of this dream of taking it even further. I wanted to create a book around it. I wanted to do coaching around it and do mentoring, um, create more resources for people, like so many other things. So my vision for this whole community, this whole she built, this entity was, uh, big, and it was vast. But try as I may, I never really was able to achieve everything that I wanted in it. And I also simultaneously was growing this business that was feeding my own passion and my own desire of writing. Like I wanted to. I was building my copywriting business, and I wanted to be able to give my all to those clients, to. To my copywriting business. But I was kind of simultaneously split between these two visions, right? Like, one that I was actually like, oh, my gosh, this is actually starting to happen. And then one I had just been plugging away at and plugging away at for years and years and years, and not exactly, like, achieving the vision I had for it. So it wasn't about anybody else. It just was. It wasn't going in the direction I wanted it to go. So last year, as many of you are well, well aware of, um, in June or July around this time, either way, I decided close that she built this community entirely, which, honestly, it was one of the hardest decisions of my career so far. However, I knew to the core of my being that I needed to go all in on what I was building. And I also knew that in doing so, I would actually be able to show up so much better. I would be able to support women entrepreneurs in a. In a really impactful way, which is better for my mental health and better than what I was kind of like, trying to do and be before. So it's been a really, I'm gonna say painful, um, it's also been a slow process of shifting, learning, trying, discovering, letting go. Letting go of certain relationships, visions, dreams I had, Letting go of the fact that, you know what, not everyone is going to support my decisions, and letting go of one of the things that had defined me for so, so long. Like that was how people knew me, defined me, associated with me. Um, and so I had to let go of that. Like, it was kind of like letting go of an identity, if you will. Um, um. In fact, I remember when I first closed the group, many people asked me, like, what are you going to do next for work? And I was like, I mean, I'm just going to keep on doing what I've been doing, like build the business I've been doing. And it made me just kind of realize, like, a lot of people didn't even know sort of, that I did have two things going at one time, and that's okay. Um, um, so after another year of this podcast, which I will be honest with you, you know, I have obviously decreased my frequency. The podcast has also decreased in its listenership after, after closing the group, and I have a number of theories on that, which I will save for another episode of my other podcast. But after another year of doing this podcast, I've decided. You know what? I think that this is kind of like the last hurrah. This is sort of the last thing to let go of. Related to. She built this and, well, that. And I have actually no idea how to delete the Facebook page. But anywho, I'm going to quickly tell you, like, why I've made this decision and how counter it is to how I usually operate. But I want to really m. My point in sharing all this is I want to share a few things to do if you're ending an era of your own and trying to make a decision on letting go of something, and maybe it's even something that feels or is really, really big. So back in January of last year, I sat down with my friend Alicia Gulati of Galati Media for a strategy, uh, session. A heart to heart, shoot straight with me strategy. Ah, session. About this show. My goal was really to just, like, how can I make it better? How can I take it to the next level? How can I, like, blow the roof off this thing? Um, I also wanted to get her feedback on, like, is there a way I can, um, incorporate my own copywriting, my own content creation, my own thoughts into the show? Like, I really have this dream to kind of like, share tools and resources on content and copy and marketing visibility and like, really out of the box stuff. So Alicia sort of laid out some different options for me and also gave me some really great suggestions. Uh, one of her ideas, one of her options, which I had literally never considered, was that I could start a new show entirely related to content. Creation, marketing, and visibility. And at first I was like, okay, goodbye. Thank you, Alicia. You're a little out there. Because at the time, I was already running two businesses. Uh, I had a podcast, I had a community, and whatever else I was doing because I'm always keeping busy and taking names over here. As I sat with Alicia's words a little bit more, uh, it started to become more than just a blip of an idea. It was like in a matter of minutes. Actually, once I really was like, oh, maybe this is a thing. It became an entire action plan. I sat down, I mapped it out, I kept taking step after step until three months later, I looked up and I was like, wow, I guess I'm launching a second podcast, which is now lovingly known as Content with Character. And that is a weekly show. It's just me. Uh, but I give you all kinds of, like, out of the box ideas on marketing, visibility, being an awesome business owner that fully expresses your personality on a regular basis. So that's the premise. And. And I kind of realized, you know, in order to make space for that show, I will need to decrease my frequency of this show. So I kind of moved down to every other week from there, and then I decreased that even more to monthly because I have a busy copywriting business. I have clients, I work with a lot of people, and I do a lot of other things, and my plate is full, just like you. Um, and I needed to have space for all of the things I wanted to do. So after a year of that frequency, I had tried a number of different things. I tried kind of like approaching and a different way and, you know, interacting with different ideas and concepts and curiosities. I started to feel a couple of things around she built this that I didn't want to be feeling. Okay, number one, I just wasn't enjoying my interviews as much. Even the ones I would be most excited about. I was like, it just wasn't the same. It wasn't the feeling that I want to be feeling going into a collaboration. Some of them were real letdowns. Like, some of the people I admired the most and was so excited to have on the show, it was a real letdown. Now, for the sake of protecting the innocent, I won't tell you those. But number two, the download numbers, uh, not terrible, but they did drop. And that was a little disheartening, like, for a person who always wants to, like, show up and follow through and be loyal. And I'm always kind of like, reminding people not to give up, even when they're looking at those numbers, and that's happening. Like, it was a little disheartening, I'll be honest. Uh, number three, I was over here doing it all myself. It does cost money. And I'm editing, producing, scheduling with guests, researching, deep diving into guests, sometimes reading the guest book. It just wasn't really something I could outsource to somebody else. Like, there were a lot of things involved. I put a lot of heart and soul into it, and I didn't want somebody else doing a lot of those things. So I wasn't really ready to, like, give up, uh, those tasks, which I know you're probably, like, you could just hire somebody else to edit, which is fine, but. Okay. Lastly, I was just feeling overwhelmed, and, like, I had a lot on my plate, and I want to just be having, like, kind of different conversations with these people. I want to just sort of, like, be. I just wanted to have different conversations. And maybe it doesn't even need to be a podcast episode. Right. I also love being a guest on other people's shows because I love being able to just pour in value and have conversations with their, like, uh, uh, with their platform instead of what I. What I was often doing is try to, like, finagle value out of people who, in some cases, they keep it under lock and key for their interviews. I'm not saying all, but some. So I just found a lot of, like, the same energy in guessing on other people's shows and, like, bringing a lot of value to what they had, what they had going on. So what I tried, I believe before you decide to give anything up, you should try, try, try and try again. And so I don't believe in giving up. Like, when the going gets hard. Right. I tried, um, ideating a new way to do things. I thought about, like, maybe I want co hosts. Maybe I'm going to just kind of, like, rebrand this entire thing and go. Go with a different plan. Right. And when I worked through every single kind of opportunity in my mind, I journaled it a lot. I even talked to people that I was like, oh, we could do this. Um, but it just, like, I could not regain that steam. So I let myself feel really discouraged. And I want to say, like, it was a solid year before I finally woke up and smelled the coffee. And I was like, you know what, Emily? I actually just think it's time to let it go. So here we are. Here you are. We are celebrating the exact, uh, and one day, 5th birthday of this podcast. And on that day, we're Saying goodbye to it on the very day that it came into the world. We are ending an era. One I have immensely enjoyed. I've loved having you by my side and it has taken me places, honestly, and you places that we never could have dreamt possible. And I so believe, like podcasts, they're not to be taken lightly. They are life changing and they create ripple effects. I believe in podcasts, so, so much so. This has not been an easy decision. And like I said, I've talked myself into it, I've talked myself out of it, I brainstormed ways around it, I' dreamt of other concepts. But I think that for now, um, this is where I have landed. And so it was going through this process where I kind of, like, had to work myself through, like, wow, I'm really letting this thing go. I came up with, like, six things we can do when we're ending an era, when you're ending your era. And so I wanted to share those with you. And then I'll just leave you with two quick things. Uh, so the first one is to celebrate, grieve and thank the era and the people who are a part of it. The first step is celebrate, right? We're congratulating ourselves, like, oh, my gosh, great job. You were consistent. You did this for five years. You had over 250 episodes. I'm so proud of you. Great job getting all those guests, putting yourself out there, having courage, speaking up, learning to trust your gut and stay persistent. Also may come with grief. So after you get through the happy, happy celebration, uh, it may come with sadness or grief. I am very sad. I'm very sad that I don't have this way to connect and collaborate with people anymore. I'm immensely sad that, um, some of you listening are just like, okay, I have no need for her now and I will be gone from her world entirely. Um, I'm also sad that I'm not going to be able to show up for you in this way. I'm disappointed with myself for not having this, like, run on and on and on for a saw a decade. That's what I, like, would dream of. Right. If you want to know something about my personality, I cannot stand letting things go. It is extremely hard for me to give up on something I started. Makes me very sad and very disappointed. Um, so we celebrated, we grieved, and now let's thank. We thank the era. I genuinely want to thank you because realistically, you built this. You really did. You sent me guest ideas, you engaged with the content. You Cheered me on, you wrote me reviews, you had conversations, conversations with me about it. Many of you participated as guests on the show, and more importantly, you helped me believe in myself to be able to do this. And so I really want to thank you. I. I always have thanks for the show itself. Like, it's brought a lot of great people into my life and conversations, and, you know, I've learned a lot about things, but I really, really, first and foremost, I want to thank you. So step one in letting go of an era is celebrate, grieve, give thanks for your era. Step two is reflect. Once you have made your decision, reflect on your life after having gone through this. What are the lessons you learned about yourself, about others, what has worked well for you and what hasn't? And, like, maybe there's a way to kind of apply those new skills, uh, somewhere else in your life, right? So I think that it can really help to reflect because it helps you gain clarity as you move forward and also, like, deeply integrate the things that you've learned. I did this, uh, in a notebook about a month ago, and it was really, really insightful. And also because I can't help myself, I also created, uh, an entire Content with Character podcast about it because I was like, oh, this is so good. Uh, I have, I have lessons I've learned in doing this that I really want to share. Number three is to set realistic goals and expectations around what's next. What's next, uh, is a question only you can answer. And you may need some time, some breathing room, some space to figure out what, what you're going to do with the time, energy, space that you're creating, that you're clearing. So give yourself time to, um, take a minute, right? And then start setting realistic goals and expectations on what that next era is going to look like for you. What does that next phase look like for you? You can even go so far as to name your next era. I think naming our eras is very fun. It's like a social media trend, and I love it. Um, okay, number four is to check in and ask yourself, well, while I'm letting things go, is there anything else I should be letting go of? Well, we're here. You know, you don't take the recycling, uh, without taking all the recycling, right? So what else do you maybe need to let go of? Letting go isn't easy. It's not like this button you press or a, uh, magical off switch. You always come back to letting go. You're always letting go of attachments or habits or thoughts or behaviors or beliefs. So while you're at this, um, maybe you need to look at what else there is to let go, to embrace change in and move forward. Let's let it go. Let's let it all go together. Um, number five is to really gather up support. And these are the people who, no matter what, no matter what era you're in, they're going to stick with you through the thick and the thin. They are your super fans. Fans. Not everyone will be a fan, but some people are super fans no matter what. And I really want to encourage you to surround yourself with as many people in that latter category as possible. The people who support you, the friends, the family members, the mentors, the, the community, the connections. The people who encourage you and guide you through transitions because they're not all in on you just being you because you're in this role or relationship or career. They're all in on you being just you because you're you. These are your people. They can help you navigate change, challenges, letting go, and offer you that, that paper bag to breathe into when you start hyperventilating over there. Uh, and, and lastly is just. You have to. This is the hardest part. Uh, you have to take an action step. Don't leave past eras, just kind of like hanging out in purgatory. Take action steps to close, disconnect, end, fade. Do the things you need to do to close your chapter. Sometimes ending an era has room for a, you know what, this is just for now, or this is just a maybe, or this isn't in case I change my mind. And sometimes it does end up being a more permanent or stake, uh, in the ground kind of decision. In, in many cases, though, even if it is a seemingly permanent, it's probably not permanent permanent. So keep that in mind as you take action. Uh, you don't always have to say goodbye forever in most cases. So to recap really quick, the six Celebrate, grieve, thank, reflect on lessons you learned and, uh, things that you'll implement going forward. Skills and tools that you'll implement going forward. Set realistic goals and intentions for your new phase. What you're stepping into, number four, is to really just kind of let it go emotionally, uh, and in any other way that you need to physically, mentally, spiritually. Um, and then number five is gather up your support and of course, take action. So I want to leave you with just two things. First off, there are over 225 episodes of the show to download. So let's just say, hypothetically, this is like the first one you've ever listen to. You're like, what is this? Well, you can go back and listen to tons and tons and tons of other episodes. You can learn new things, you can get curious, you can meet new people, you can go back and listen to how much of a dork I was at the beginning. It's fun, trust me. Um, but I would say this, if you want to stay connecting to me in a lifetime way, I really would love for you to join me over on the Content with Character podcast. Like I said, it's a solo show, so if you don't like me, don't bother listening. Because. Because, spoiler alert, I am. I am this person over there as well. Um, I haven't gotten much less dorky over the past five years, but we have a ton of fun over there. Uh, we talk about content marketing, visibility, business ownership, how to really embrace all that is you in your business and make decisions around that. And so I'll make sure I include the links for that show in the show notes. And also maybe a couple episodes I would recommend as a jumping off, off point, listener favorites, if you will. Um, and you can always just scroll through the feed, see what suits your fancy, grabs your eye and start there. So I want to invite you over to there. Number two. I really want to reiterate just how thankful I am for you and for being a part of this era with me in sitting down and just, like, really letting myself process all of this and reflect on all of the names and faces and conversations, the lives we've impacted together. I'm from the bottom of my heart. And trust me, this. This heart thing, it goes very, very deep. It's a very deep well. Um, I'm so grateful that you have been here with me. And I just love each and every one of you. And I mean that genuinely. Um, books, they don't have infinite chapters. Every ending, every failure is a doorway for some new beginning. So I want to encourage you that, uh, you know, it's okay to let things go. And I also want, if you're looking to start something, don't let the fact that you may eventually have to let it go get you, get in your way. Like, don't wait to get started. So all I've ever wanted for you, my dear listener, is to be inspired to go after your dreams at whatever pace, at whatever, uh, big, like, however big that dream is. I just want you to chase your dream and go all in on you. I am here. I'm going all in on you. So thank you so much for being part of this fabulous. She built this era with me. Can't wait to hear about an era. Maybe you're ending. Or beginning. Let's please stay connected. Reach out and share. All my info is in the show notes. And no matter what, uh, I will always love hearing from you, Sam.