Episode 326: Rob Jeppsen, Leader of Sales Leadership United - Victim or Victor? You decide.

Speaker A: Hey, thanks for checking out the sales leadership podcast. I'm your host, Rob Jepsen, and today I'm re releasing what I think is the most important episode we've ever recorded. We re released it last year. We originally released it two years ago. We've had so many people reach out and thank us for sharing it, uh, that I'm doing it one more time. But first, if you're considering a speaker for your sales kickoff or maybe a leadership retreat, please consider me. Uh, we're booking a lot of SKOs. We are booking a lot of leadership retreats right now. We, uh, confirmed two more just this week. It's one of my favorite things I do, and it's one of the things that we get a lot of feedback that we're really, really great at. I'm not one of those speakers who just shows up with a canned talk and then hopes you like it. I work closely with leadership teams to design custom content and then create an experience that does three things. Number one, it entertains. It's gotta be fun. Second, it challenges how they think. We want to introduce new ways of thinking and help people see things differently and say, oh, that makes sense. And ah, then we want number three, which might be the most important. We want everyone to say, hey, I can do that and I will, and I want to. So whether you want someone to speak to your entire team or to work

Speaker B: with your leadership group, give us a shot.

Speaker A: We want to help you help people make change as they go.

Speaker B: After having the greatest year in company history, reach out.

Speaker A: Let's see if we can make a great event. Elite. Let's come back to this episode. Many of you may already know and have listened to this. I hope you don't mind. I'm releasing it. Maybe you'll listen again. There is no so what at the end, I'm having a little bit longer introduction. Two years ago, I chose to have a treatment for colon cancer that was

Speaker B: not approved here in the United States.

Speaker A: I've been given 18 months to live. Um, I got down to six months left, and as I record this, um, right now, that kind of 18 months was given to me about 34 months ago. So I'm beating the number. Uh, the first time I released this, nearly 1,000 people reached out to me

Speaker B: and told me that my story inspired them.

Speaker A: I hope to hear from a thousand more of you. Uh, seriously, if you listen to this and you like it, please let me know. I love hearing from our listeners. Since the procedure, I've had a lot of great things happen in my life. I'm healthy, I'm happy, I. I'm not just surviving, I'm thriving. Every part of my life is amazing right now. And it isn't because I haven't had to deal with storms or with challenges.

Speaker B: Man, I've had my share of them.

Speaker A: I face them every day. Last year, as I reflected on my year, I realized I'd had the greatest year of my career by every single possible metric. And as I approached the end of this year, once again, I've had my best year ever. I one up last year and it came in every category. And I don't know what categories you have. I have five that I look at and I'm better in every single one. And it isn't like I said before, because I don't have storms or challenges or fear. I face those things every single day like everyone else does. What I've learned, however, and this is my introduction this year to the same

Speaker B: story,

Speaker A: I've learned how to limit scarcity

Speaker B: based thinking and replace it with abundance thinking.

Speaker A: Scarcity thinking shows up in the form of fear.

Speaker B: What if I miss my quota?

Speaker A: What if I lose this deal? What if they fire me? What if, what if, what if? Customers, quotas, colleagues, leaders, competitors, markets, none

Speaker B: of those things are sources of fear or stress. Now you may say, rob, that's crazy.

Speaker A: They are.

Speaker B: Absolutely.

Speaker A: What I've learned is it's the stories

Speaker B: we attach to them that are the sources of how we feel.

Speaker A: So here's something I want you to

Speaker B: think about as you listen to this

Speaker A: and as you plan for the upcoming 2026 year number one, fear will slow you down. But if fear is allowed to stay, it transforms from something that only slows you down into something that will poison you. Okay? And what I'm talking about is toxicity. Fear, when it's allowed to stay, transform, sometimes slowly, sometimes quickly, into toxicity. The worst decisions I've ever made was

Speaker B: when I let fear transform into toxicity.

Speaker A: Toxicity will poison you. So when you find yourself feeling feelings of fear that come from the stories that are only rooted in scarcity and that thinking that's based on, oh, there's only a little bit for everyone, I've learned that there's an abundance.

Speaker B: There are plenty of deals, plenty of

Speaker A: customers, plenty of career opportunities, you know, plenty of people like, there's plenty of, there's this abundance. And when you realize that, it changes everything.

Speaker B: Okay?

Speaker A: When you find yourself being, having fear

Speaker B: come from scarcity thinking, you must have

Speaker A: a system to flush it. If you've listened to the Show. And if you know me, you know I'm a believer in systems. I have a system to flush fear. So toxicity didn't show up very much this year.

Speaker B: Okay.

Speaker A: I won't say I was perfect, but I got really damn good at it.

Speaker B: Okay.

Speaker A: The reason I've been thriving is I don't let fear, Fear turn into toxicity anymore. Here's how I do it. Two things. Number one, when I feel fear, I use the mindset work that I've invested a lot of money and time in. And now I teach other people. I've learned that you cannot feel gratitude or optimism on one side and fear at the same time. It's one or the other. It's impossible. It's a physiological certainty that your mind can't feel both things. It switches really fast, but it can't do both at the same time. So when I feel fear, I say, okay, how do I flush it? I've learned that elite performers and elite leaders. The first Choice I got 20 choices. You've seen me wear the shirts. Choice one is future over fear. So when you feel fear, I've learned that you got to find something to be, uh, grateful for. Something small. If I choose gratitude, oh, I'm grateful. At least I get to choose my job. Oh, I'm grateful I'm going to get to do this. I'm grateful that whatever fill in the bike small doesn't have to be massive. Okay? Focus on it. Obsess on it. Look at it like, be consumed with it. And choosing that will flush the feelings of fear almost instantly. And once those fears go away, you go to number two. You have a small window of opportunity with fear flushed.

Speaker B: Then you gotta act.

Speaker A: Do something intentionally. Something that changes your state, your state of mind, your state of being, or even your location. Something so you're making progress, watching your trajectory change. Because even one small step is a step away from where you were. And, uh, once you leave that spot now, you're no longer in that same circumstance. There's a quote from a great philosopher, Heraclitus. Ah, I love stoicism. I got a minor when I was in college in philosophy. I continue to stay a little bit active in it. I'm going to get the quote a little bit wrong, but it goes something like this. Heraclitus said, I never step in the same river twice because it is never the same water and I am not the same man. Circumstances change, people change. And so that's why it's important for you to change and move. So even though a circumstance may Seem familiar? It's not the same. You've improved somehow. And so changing your place changes trajectory, it changes momentum, and it brings hope. So that's my system for having my mind fueled by abundance, not scarcity. Uh, I found that if I can flush the feeling of fear and then change my situation, I'm no longer in the same spot.

Speaker B: And that gives me optimism.

Speaker A: As you listen to my story today, I hope you'll make commitments on how you will choose thriving over surviving your future, over your fears, and how you will now have a system and choose to take action so you never let fear turn into toxicity. Remember, we are not here to simply endure or simply survive.

Speaker B: We are here to thrive. And I'm going to finish with this

Speaker A: and turn on the story. I've never met an elite performer or

Speaker B: an elite leader who plays the victim card.

Speaker A: When I meet a leader who plays the victim card, I no longer feel like I can be helpful to them. Because you will never win if you can accept the victim card. I am grateful that in my life, in my darkest days, I was playing the victim card. Uh, at the worst, it was such a low, dark moment in my life and I had a person. He's been on the show. John Matson. I'll give him a shout out. Uh, elite. Elite, um, coach for professionals, uh, from a physical perspective. And he does a lot of mindset work. He told me that until I took charge, I was destined for nothing but misery. And he told me that I was like this victim and I was destined

Speaker B: to be one until I changed that.

Speaker A: And I'm grateful he got my attention because since then I've learned that most things are not my fault. But, but 100% of them are my responsibility. So be a victor, not a victim. The choice is yours. It always has been yours.

Speaker B: That's not new information.

Speaker A: It always has.

Speaker B: So here's my challenge.

Speaker A: Take charge. Choose what you're chasing. Go create the greatest year you've ever had. I hope my story is something you find helpful. I hope you share it with a colleague, a friend, or someone who might benefit from it. Lean in. Go get what is really yours all along. Thank you for listening.

Speaker B: I hope you enjoy my story and let's freaking go. Hey everyone. Welcome to the Sales Leadership Podcast, where high growth sales leaders share high growth practices and tactics. This show is on fire. And it isn't just the number of downloads that are telling me this. It's the DMs that I get from so many of you each week. Please keep them coming. I love Them. Keep suggesting guests. I'll reach out to them. Keep letting me know how the show is helping you in your career.

Speaker A: Because.

Speaker B: Because it fires me up and I'm grateful for it. Keep the individual personal questions coming. I love going back and forth on them. Listen, I love hearing from our worldwide audience. And our audience has gotten so large that it's something that fires me up every time I hear from people, no matter where they are and what kind of organization they're in. Um, and as always, this show is brought to you by Sales Leadership United. Listen, if you want access to the world's largest collection of sales leadership assets, you want to find out what happens when you can get some leadership cheat codes? Head to sales leadershipunited.com use the code rob at checkout. Get a free trial on me and find out why so many people are having a great experience there. Today we're going to do something a little different. Today's guest is one who has joined us on the show a few times in our five year history of the show. Today's guest is me. I like to do it once, maybe twice a year. Um, but I just recently had some things happen in my life that were meaningful. And I decided to share a little bit about this in an episode so I can talk about it one time. And there's a lot of people that are asking me and I want to put it out there. About eight months ago, I found out I had colon cancer. And I'd waited way too long to see a doctor about it. I had tons of symptoms, was enduring excruciating pain, was getting really, really weak. But I plowed through because I'm a dude and that's what dudes do. And a lot of the people on the show are laughing at me right now because they know me. And that's, that's, you know, guilty as charged. Um, the doctor told me, rob, you needed to be here two years ago, um, because now he was using terms like stage four and metastasized and have moved from my colon through all through my body. And it was a challenge. But you know what? I just worked. I plowed through. You see, my work as a performance coach for a long time has been a survival mechanism. I got through an unnecessarily nasty divorce after 25 years of marriage. I faced false accusations and betrayal from places I never could have imagined or seen coming. I spent multiple hundreds of thousands of dollars in legal fees, for example, fighting multiple fights and winning them. But the victories left a mark in me in lots of ways. And not just financial. The biggest one is it changed how I trusted people. But I was extremely private about it. I just kept my head down and kept cranking, kept moving forward, one foot in front of the other, day after day after day. Didn't share much of it. And my coaching business was the vehicle that helped me navigate storms that were more horrific than I could ever imagine. And now the company went from nothing to a, uh, ridiculously successful, multiple millions of dollars of business. And I'm proud of that. But I'm also grateful for that. And all along the way, part of why I'm proud of it is I faced everything by myself. I made a decision not to trust people because I found that people that I thought were there for me to count on were not when I needed them most. And outside of a small group of people, I was very guarded with what I shared and how I interacted. I learned all kinds of things as people made. I'm, um, doing air quotes here. Safe choice. They created distance as I struggled to get through my tsunami because it just looked a little messy. But none of that was as impactful as what came next. The people problem, the, uh, all of these things I've mentioned, like, the things I learned and the way that people kind of backstabbed that was nowhere near as scary as what happened when I had that cancer, uh, show up, because right when I was thinking, I met the light at the end of the tunnel. I'm winning all these battles finally, and my business is super healthy, and I'm doing fantastic. Fantastic. And my coaches have helped me get to a place of strength, and I'm feeling like the best version of me I've ever been in my whole entire life. Right as the lights there at the end of that tunnel. I feel like things are about to go in an amazing way. I learn I have 18 months to live. 18 months to live. I've heard other people hearing that, but I never thought I'd hear that. Colon cancer, stage four, metastasized. My doctor says, rob, you should have been here two years ago. So what do I do? I get on a plane, I go to Florida, get a second opinion. What I do after that, I go to California to get a third opinion. I told the docs, you know, that I wanted to find a way to win, um, and that I really didn't want to hang out in a hospital room for the end of my life. Their response was super sobering. They said things like, at this stage, we don't recommend chemo or radiation because it's too far along. You either it either gets you or you have some kind of a crazy miracle. And so their recommendation was to manage pain and just enjoy the rest of my life. So my first response was to feel sorry for myself. I admit it. I didn't tell people. I didn't tell my kids, I didn't tell my closest friends. I let it all stay inside of me and I just bottled it up and it wasn't awesome. Uh, after a couple months I started talking about it to that small group of my closest friends. And after I talked about it once, it became easier. And after a little while I told my kids and that was hard. When it was done, they didn't know what to say. I didn't realize how hard it would be for them. But they didn't ask me much and they didn't want to talk about it much. And the topic rarely came up. I didn't know what to think about that. It was interesting and I kind of continued in my own woe is me way until one of my close friends introduced me to some things that worked for others in a similar, similar situation to mine. And then uh, I had two or three people give me similar uh, suggestions. And one of them is a treatment that's not approved in the United States. It could be done in a couple of other companies. So I researched it, I called around, I talked to people who'd had it. I did a really good due diligence, um, Max Altshuler. I did the kind of due diligence that you guys do at the gtm, uh, fund. And uh, and I picked a winner. I, I met these physicians in Mexico. They're Harvard educated doctors who did their residencies and practiced in the United States before opening a med spa in Mexico, focusing on people who wanted life saving treatments they couldn't get in other, other countries. Uh, this was a procedure that was developed in the University of Tokyo, uh, about a year ago. It's worked well for breast cancer, it's had some success in cervical cancer, but colon was a little bit different. Deal. So I won't waste this episode's not about all the things I had done. I'll just say this. What I decided to do was risky. And while it was the only option I'd found to give me reason to believe I could beat it, it was still a long shot. If it worked, I'd never have to fight that type of cancer ever again. And if it didn't work, it would kill me. It was a one or a zero. Cure me or kill me. And I had a 22% chance of getting through it. That's not even a one out of four. So this was a scary concept because, you know, I'm going to force the issue. I can live this thing out for another nine months.

Speaker A: Ish.

Speaker B: Or I can try and do something. I was getting weaker every day. And I decided to go, go face it, bet on myself, stare it down. Number two is it was spendy. Listen, insurance won't cover this. It all had to be prepaid, and it was not cheap. It's over 200 grand with only a 22% chance on getting through it. And I won't lie. I thought, man, would that money be better spent if I divided that up for my four kids. But I made the decision to take the risk and spend the cash. Another thing was it could potentially cause challenges. If I got through it 22%, they were gonna modify, genetically modify my immune system and, uh, create a synthetic DNA molecule that would be designed to, specifically cancer, to kill that specific cancer molecule. And, uh, it would result in, uh, mutated immune system. And we don't know if that's going to make it. So I'm suddenly vulnerable to other things. Like, for example, the common cold might be a problem. We won't know. And so, um, it could. It could take care of the demon that I was facing immediately, but it may create other challenges down the road that I don't know about. And the last one is it's definitive. It was going to either lengthen my time horizon, which is a good thing, or it could end my time horizon immediately. And when, you know, you're on the clock, I just started to value things differently. So I scheduled the first appointment, and, uh, and then I rescheduled it a couple times because I was scared to go to Mexico. Had things I wanted to do first. I started doing lots of things that felt like it was my last fill in the blank. My last trip here, my last whatever. I had all these lasts. Um, I used to be focused on all my firsts. And I started looking at the world in terms of my last. And that was something that changed things a lot. My last trip with my youngest son. My last game that I went to, my last Father's Day, my last fourth of July, my last concert. Um, I spent the time making it easy for my financial partner to shut down my business if I didn't come back. We put money aside for clients who would need refunds. Um, I wrote the messages that I wanted them to receive. I had to make arrangements for My burial. Buy a casket, get a burial spot, plan my funeral. I wrote a book with memoirs for my kids. I picked 20 life lessons, some really good, some not so good. And the stories that came with these stories of my life starting as early as age 7 and then as recently as when I found out I had cancer. These stories that made me the person I am and the lessons that I learned from them. These are things that I wanted my kids to know that contributed to making me the dad that I am and the person that I am and who they can trust and who they shouldn't. I want them to learn lessons that, uh, I hope that they would learn faster than I did so they would be better for them. I got really serious about how I spent time. I started focusing on experiences and being very intentional about that. Some of the people I talked to suggested that I work less. And, uh, at, uh, face value, that made sense. But I realized that I needed to build the mindset that I was going to win. And that means I wasn't going to Mexico to die. That meant I was going to win, that things would work out. And if that was going to happen, I wanted to come home to a thriving business, not one that barely survived, that I had to start over with. That's why the theme of this is surviving versus thriving, and why we should do everything we can to choose thriving instead of surviving. And, um, it was just a really surreal time. I don't have any family at all other than my children. Uh, I didn't involve very many people in this at all. I made the choice to deal with it alone, and it was heavy and it was hard. Um, the day before I left, I sent my children an email detailing what I was having done. I wanted them to have it in writing exactly what was being done down there in case I never had a chance to come back and tell him. And then that night, my three children came to my place. We ate together, we had some fun, we laughed a lot, we cried a little, and then we talked. I answered questions, I shared memories, I made requests of them. Uh, I told him who was going to get my stuff. We had a laugh when I said that my youngest son was going to get my Range Rover because he was 16. And if anybody, uh, would have the most fun with it, it would be my son as he was growing up. So my oldest son was like, that's not fair. It was. We were joking, of course, but it was a way for us to laugh together and share my memories. And I thank them for their awesomeness. And I wish them all this great success. And then the next day, I took one final coaching call, and then I was off. When I got to the m. To the med spa, uh, I got checked in, they ran some tests. Then I had this evening to myself. I went outside, I walked around. I breathed deeply. My senses were alive as I saw things, felt things, experienced things in ways I'd never experienced so meaningfully. I'll never forget that night. Uh, as I made this last walk, I called each of my kids. And their voices sounded clear. And I didn't just hear the words, I felt them. Uh, the air that night as I walked around tasted incredible. The stars looked closer than they ever had. I appreciated life in a totally different, different way. That evening as I lay in bed, I thought about my life. What I had accomplished, who had helped me accomplish them, what I still wished I had accomplished. I started inventorying the things that I did and was proud of and the things I was pissed that I didn't get to, and some things I hadn't even thought of yet until I was lying in the bed that night. The experiences I wanted to have with those who are most important. I got kind of crazy with the, uh, kind of experiences I still wanted to have. It was so clear to me that I had so much more to do, so much more I wanted to experience, so much more. I wanted to contribute. And it's interesting, of my kids that I talked to, my older ones were like, dad, I love you. And it was awesome. It was my youngest one who was my mindset coach crew. My youngest son was, dad, you're coming back, dad. I'm not even saying goodbye. I'm saying I'll see you. You are coming back. He was the only one. The others were like, this is great. I wish you good luck, dad. And they were getting ready for the worst. My son was having none of it. And it fired me up. As I lay in bed that night, thinking of my youngest son who would not say, you're going to die. Even though I said, son, it's most likely that this is it. Um, in the morning, um, my procedure started. And when they put that anesthetic mask on me, I wondered, is this how it all ends? Well, if you were to see the video of this, you'd see me smiling because I got a big smile right now. You know, it ended positively because I'm recording this show. This is easily one of my all time favorite things I've done as I tell the story, because it means that I, I beat the 22% number. And, um, I woke up late in the afternoon of that. Of that. That day, of the procedure. It was a long procedure. There was a lot they had to do as they did this removal of a tumor and then messed, uh, around with my immune system and my DNA sequencing. And my first thought was, when I woke up was, am I dead? Is this what it looks like to be dead? And slowly, I started to realize where I was. I started to realize my surroundings and that I'd made it. I was in my room. I was breathing. I started to cry. And then I did more than cry. I started to weep. I was so overwhelmed with the feelings and gratitude of joy. I appreciated my life in a way I'd never appreciated it in my long life that I've had.

Speaker A: Okay.

Speaker B: Uh, I started thinking of the people who were so meaningful. I was overwhelmed with gratitude to them. People who had helped me, people who had bet on me, people who refused to turn their back on me. And 24 hours after the procedure, my cancer cells were down 15%. Three days later, they were down nearly 40%. And as I record this today, I'm down over 50%. Yes, I am pumped about it. And so you may be asking yourself, rob, why are you talking about this? What does this have to do with leadership? Well, there's a ton of things that I. That I think of on this. There's a couple things I think you might find meaningful. First, prioritize you as leaders. We prioritize our companies. We prioritize our teams, prioritize our work. We'll prioritize our families. And I work with a lot of people. I've coached hundreds and hundreds of leaders. Okay. We often put ourselves last. I was with a team in Chicago yesterday. They said the same thing. Okay. We don't put ourselves pursed. We put all these other groups in front of us. I want you to give yourself permission today to prioritize you. What is it that you're chasing? What is it that makes you you? Where do you create boundaries and make it okay to do what you need, not what everybody else around you needs? Honestly, the last 90 days, for me, I think, have been the happiest days of my life. And I would have never thought I would have said that. Okay. My life has changed so significantly in the last five years. I don't know that I ever thought I would say that. I would tell myself, your best days are in front of you, but I'm not sure I believed it. Right now, as I talk to you, I know I don't Just believe it. I freaking know it. My last 90 days have been money. And I think it's because I've been so much more intentional, right? I didn't slack off at work. I worked like I always have. I was just so intentional. I got very intentional about how I started my day, how I ran my workday, how I handled the end day, who I spent time with, how I spent it, uh, what I chose to do, why boundaries needed to be made, and more importantly, kept. You know, I used to think I was doing things for those I love, but I realized I was only doing

Speaker A: the things

Speaker B: that I was just prioritizing for whatever reason. And I, when I was in this happy time, the last thing it is, I was doing things that I loved with those that I loved. Listen. The number one downloaded episode in our five year history of the show is still Garland Vance. He's the uh, he's the heavyweight champ. His first episode that he with us where it was about burnout and he shared how to recharge, how the top performers get energy. And two of his four things really helped me through this challenge. And they are, they do relationships different and they do recreation different. And Garland challenged me on that show. What do you do for the sheer joy of it? And I didn't have a good answer, but I do now. And I'm going to send this episode to Garland. And I hope you listen to it, Garland. And when you do, I hope you smile. I spent time on the things that bring me joy. I know what they are. There are four very specific things. One of them is live music concerts. And in my last few months, I went to more concerts in this year than any other year of my life. Sometimes with one of my kids, sometimes with friends, always. It was something that brought me joy. And I did a wide variety. I went to a Snoop Dogg, I went to a country Luke Bryant. I had several rock and roll. I saw concerts after concerts. I had clients that when I would do off sites, when they gave me a gift, they didn't buy me a whatever, uh, they, I'm thinking of Washington Trust bank, one of my favorite clients and Dandy Badia. They bought me, uh, StubHub account tickets to go get pimped out primo seats and then even gave me travel money so I could go experience a concert of my choosing at a lights out place. And I'm spending that, uh, in an awesome concert that I'll talk about another time. Um, I just was really intentional about all those things and now I do those things that bring Me joy. And I wish that I'd started doing that earlier in my life. I found that when I ask leaders that I work with, what do you do? For the sheer joy of it, they don't have a good answer, just like I didn't. So I have four things that I do. I just told you one of them. And you can bet that now that I've dodged this bullet of cancer, at least it looks like it, I'm doubling down on them. I'm going to get even more intentional. I'm going to get crazier with it. Don't wait until your days are numbered to prioritize you. And I mean prioritize yourself. First. I tell everyone who asks me what I do for work that I have the best job in the world and I mean it. I love what I do. But I need to be more than just the work person. Prioritize the whole person, starting with yourself and help those you lead do the same thing. I have a few non negotiables for myself every single day. And I'm not talking about in the workday. It's daily things like I gotta laugh every day. That's something I do. I gotta sweat every day. I gotta laugh every. There's a few non negotiables. I've built a framework of what a good workday is. And if you're not a member of Sales Leadership United, do it. You want to see the good day framework? It is a life changer and a career changer. I build a framework to make sure I do the things that are only for me, things that make my life meaningful. And I don't leave them to accident anymore. And so I want to finish that with prioritize yourself. And when I went on that trip to Mexico the day that I left, I sent another message to my kids on how my mindset was different. This wasn't a woe is me. I woke up that morning, said, I'm going to work. I put on my very best suit. I just had a new suit made. Um, it was pimped. I said, I'm going to go, I'm going to do this the right way. I played my walk up music as I went into that airport. Uh, and I went, going to work because I was prioritizing me. I was not a victim. Going to go see how it went. I was going to go down there, stare cancer down, kick its ass and come back home. That takes me to number two. You gotta chase. About two years into a horrible three year divorce. I realized that I was Using work and a few other things to survive this horrific experience. I realized in that moment, I didn't want to just survive. It became so clear to me that simply surviving was overrated. I needed to thrive, not just survive. And that's a really important turning point for me in my life. Okay. I realized when I had this cancer, my first thought was to just live and enjoy what I could enjoy. But then I realized that that wasn't living. You know, it for sure wasn't thriving. It wasn't even surviving. You know, uh, my job was to thrive. I'm very aware of that now. I'm very clear of it. I am here to thrive. And I get to dictate what that looks like. I get to dictate what that is. I'm in charge of that. And that's why I'm so focused on mindset and what I think and the pictures in my mind of who I am and what that looks like. And I know it's why I've accomplished so much in such a period of time that has been so short. Um, and that's why I made the choice to make this expensive move and this risky move. I had people saying, rob, you know, that the odds are so bad, and I didn't care. I had to do it. And that's why I stared cancer in the face. That's why I was assertive. That's why when I got through the first treatment, I immediately started putting my mind to the things I want to accomplish with this second chance. You can bet I will not squander it. So I'm asking myself, what am I chasing next? What do I do to thrive? I don't want to just wake up in the morning and go through the motions. And so there's three metaphors I always go to. It's sports, it's movies, and it's music. So I want to go to Dave Matthews Band. One of my very favorite songs he has is that song Ants Marching. The lyric goes something like this. He wakes up in the morning, bite to eat, brush his teeth, and he's rolling. Never changes a thing. The week ends, the week begins. You remember the song. If you don't go listen to it, that's what you don't want to be. I want to be in hot pursuit of the things that bring me joy, with the people that bring me joy. So I hope you'll make sure you're chasing. I hope you'll spend days with purpose. I hope you'll protect yourself from the people you can't count On I hope that you will know what you're chasing. Why does it matter what happens when you get there? Think bigger. Think different. Be intentional. Don't meander. Have purpose, have intention. And if you're doing this, you can be effective in helping those you lead do the same thing. Which takes me to number three, Celebrate often. I shared a story not too long ago of how I chased down some goals, and the reward was a new car that I'd wanted for years. When I accomplished the goals, I needed to reward myself with that Rover, and I almost chickened out. I told my coach that I valued the cash more than the car. He walked me through it and told me that if I didn't get the car, I would do more damage to my mindset and my subconscious than the hundred grand that car was going to set me back in my bank account. So I got it, and I'm glad I did. Every single day I drive it. It does good things for me. And a couple of years ago, I heard my, uh, youngest son ask his siblings when I was upstairs, and they didn't think I could hear him. He said, hey, has anyone done anything we can tell dad about? Because if we do, I'm sure he'll say, oh, we need to celebrate, and then we'll go to sushi. And when I went downstairs, they started telling me. I, uh, said, oh, well, I guess we better celebrate. Where should we go? And they're like, how about sushi? And we went. And he thought he pulled one over on me. But if he listens to this, he's going to hear me say, the reality is I won because I got him to chase. I got him to find the power and celebration. And even if he was, like, searching for it, that's okay because we should be on the lookout for things worth celebrating. I think every one of us would realize that we don't celebrate intentionally enough. I have a lot of people I coach when they finish a month or a quarter or a year, and they say, hey, we did good. Like one of my clients, we just had the best. Their fiscal ended on August 31, and their year was fantastic. And I said, how'd you celebrate? That's a good question. We need to do that. Very few leaders do that in an intentional way. It's almost like it's, uh, a here and there type of way. Be very intentional with how you celebrate. Okay. Um, I think you should look for reasons to celebrate, and if people joke about it, that's okay. That means it's working, because there are reasons all around us. Every day. I'm grateful. I celebrate that I wake up on that morning. I celebrate every morning I wake up. There was a time that I was sad when I wake up. I am pumped when I wake up. And I immediately get into my routine, and it involves all the things that give me the things I need to start a good day. I've learned to engineer good days, and that's why my last 90 have been epic. That's why you should do the same thing. I have literally decided I'm going to celebrate as much as I can with my new shot at life. You can have big celebrations and you can have small ones, okay? The main thing is that we celebrate because life is meant to be meaningful, joyful, worth living. Do things that matter to you, and then celebrate when you get there. It will fuel your mind and your spirit. It will motivate you to get to new places that you haven't been to before. And the more you do, the bigger you'll think. Yesterday when I was coming home from Chicago, I was at the airport, and one of the people was helping me buy something at the airport. And I said, how are you doing? And she's like, oh, living the dream. And I laughed and I said, yeah, me too. And she's like, yeah, but I bet your dreams are better than mine. And I stopped and I looked at her. I didn't, you know, I'm a mindset and a performance coach. I looked at her, I said, you know, you're in charge of your dream. And if you don't like your dream, is your responsibility to change that. It's not. You can change it if you want to. It's your responsibility to change it. So when you get done every day, you have something worth celebrating. And, um, my son had picked me up at the airport, and we were walking through, and he watched me do that. He was like, that was really cool, dad. And I said, don't ever stop dreaming, son. The minute you think that you're not dreaming anymore, examine your circumstances. Because if you don't like your dream, that's your own freaking fault. So make sure that you have a life worth celebrating. Do that for yourself. Build it into the culture of your team. Be the leader who finds ways to celebrate with those people on the team, because it will help everybody who's fortunate enough to work with you find the next great thing. That takes me to number four, build relationships and create trust. This might be the most important step story that I share with this experience. When I got back to the United States. After this treatment, I waited a couple of days before I started working again. And about a week after I was home, I was on a call with my third largest customer. I've worked with this company for close to a decade, but with this person less than a year, my main point of contact had retired. And this gentleman I've worked with tons of respect for, but we're building a different relationship. And when, uh, I got on the call, he was enthusiastic, as he always is. He's a terrific person. He said, man, Rob, you look great. And, uh, I was like, wow, thanks. And I decided to tell him what had happened because the scary part was over, and I felt like I could talk about it now. And I wanted to tell him just how grateful I was to be on a call with him. And when I shared my story, he was stunned. And he sat back and he said something I'll never forget. He said, rob, I am so glad to be on this call with you, but I'm also disappointed you didn't tell me. He's like, you should have told me, man. And I apologized, and I admitted I didn't tell him because the reason was I didn't want him to hedge his bet that he made on me. I told him, just like, you don't want to lose your best customers, I don't want to lose mine either. Uh, and I, uh, even went so far as to tell him all the provisions I made. You know, I had this money set aside and this letter written for you and the guy that was going to take care of it if I didn't make it back. It was all set. And he shook his head. He's like, first of all, uh, you would have found your business with us would have been fine. Uh, we're way past that point in our relationship, and you really had nothing to worry about with us. And he said, and if we really are one of your top two, top three customers, you should already know. You could tell us things like this. Otherwise, we're not one of your best customers. Which was really, really interesting to hear. And then he said, second, I'm disappointed you didn't give me the chance to be the partner who would be there for you at a time you needed it. And then he went on to tell me that my influence was all through the organization, and it was too bad I didn't let them be the partner they can be at a time I needed. Was, like, sobering to hear. Like, he was pretty direct, and I was glad he was, because it was something I needed to Hear. And then finally he said in third, Rob, you went through this alone, and you didn't have to. We would have 100% been there through this with you. Because that's who we are as individuals. That's who we are. Uh, as a company, uh, one of our values is people first. And that's not just our employees, that's our partners. And, um, you didn't get a chance to have that. And he's 100% right. I did not tell my customers, and I didn't tell hardly anyone. Man, I had faced betrayal that I didn't think I could ever get through. I had this difficult time, and I set my mind that people generally couldn't be trusted. And if those people would turn their backs on me, anyone would turn their backs on me.

Speaker A: Me.

Speaker B: And, uh, I didn't want to lose m my business if I was coming back. And so my mindset part was, I'm not going to tell anybody anything because I'm coming back, baby. I'm going to go down and win. And, uh, I didn't want my kids to deal with it, so I didn't tell them when I did. My oldest son wanted to go to Mexico with me, and I wouldn't let him because I didn't want him to have to be the dude that sends his dad's body back to United States. I didn't want to burden the small group. It was a small group, but I didn't want him saying too much drama here, so I didn't want to tell him. I kept it to myself because I valued them so much. And like I said, other than my kids, I don't have family. And so that circle I have was super important. I didn't want to mess that up. I certainly didn't want to lose business over it. I certainly didn't want to burden my kids with it. I didn't want to be needy to the rest of them. And that was a mistake, a massive mistake. My client was dead on. As a leader, you gotta be vulnerable with your team. One of my clients just built his leadership philosophy with me. And when we were talking about purpose, he referred to something he called family. And he breaks family into three components. His son, his fiance, and his team that he leads. He wants those kind of relationships. I think we can learn something from that. When you have a true, authentic connection with someone, you don't have to partition your work life from your personal one, because we focus on the whole person, not just the salesperson. Let them in. Because if you do, it'll build trust. It won't hurt it. And it's hard to have trust if you don't share those types of things. Every person I've shared this story with has told me how unfortunate it was that I chose to go through it alone. And they're right. I didn't have to do that. And if you let others in, they very likely will in return let you in. So be sure the person, the people that you lead, know that you're the person they feel they can let in. Build the relationships, build the trust. Give before you get. It's a principle that will help you have a better life and will make you a big leader. Better leader. Which takes me to the final one. Show gratitude Number five. Five things I learned from this. I took so much of my life for granted. I was so angry with the battles I had to fight and felt so strongly when I was betrayed. A good friend told me the silver lining in going through miles and miles of shit like I did was you learn who you can count on and who is a pretender. You learn who to give trust to and heard who to build walls around. Love all, forgive all, be kind to all, but trust only a few. And when you know who those few are, you're fortunate, man. You're fortunate. I had a few, I thought. Turns out I have way more than I ever imagined because I had that titanium wall in place. People who had never betrayed me, they didn't deserve to have a titanium wall in place. Those who had. Yeah. Build a wall around it. Those who hadn't. Why was I doing that? How stupid is that? I had way more people on Team Rod than I ever imagined. And I realized I hadn't shown gratitude well enough or often enough. Gratitude is more than just saying thanks. There are some people. One that I have to mention is Lavon Edwards and his family. I can't even talk about those people without getting emotional. I had a time in my life where I was keeping a mental list of the people. I had to show them up. I had to show them. I had to prove something to them. People that I wanted to make sure realized they did me wrong. That is the dumbest thing I'd ever done. Now I don't even remember who's on that list. Okay. What I do have is a list of people I know I need to show more love and appreciation for. And that list grows every day. It's on my phone and it is fun how fast it's growing. Okay. I would tell you, focus on gratitude. That's something I'M really glad I found this experience if all it does is make me a more grateful human being will change everything because I have certainly had grateful moments in my past. But I wouldn't call myself a grateful person. I was self focused and yes, I will always be ambitious and I will always be focused and I will always be driven because that's part of who I am. I like to win, but I'm going to be ungrateful in ways I've never been. I'm going to be grateful in ways I've never been. The tears that I had post procedure were tears of gratitude. Overwhelming gratitude for my life. And you can be sure I will show that gratitude. I'll show it in what I chase. I'll show it how I celebrate. I'll show it how I trust and respect. I'll show it how I treat those I work with and those I don't. I'll show it with my commitment to people and life in general. I will bring it to this show. I will bring it to Sales Leadership United. I will bring it to my clients. I will bring it to the sales community. Whether you are a customer of mine or not, I will bring it to those people that I come across. People in my corner and out. And of course to my family. My challenge to you is look for ways to have more moments of gratitude. I have made that one of my non negotiables along with Got a small what? Gotta laugh. Gotta do something that demonstrates gratitude. It'll change your life. It's already changed mine. Listen, that's the podcast for this week. I'm sorry they didn't have a guest this time. I hope that my story was helpful in some way. I am so grateful to each of our 50,000 listeners. So grateful for your support of this show. I hope you liked it enough to share it with at least one person. If each listener shares this episode with just one colleague, we would make such a huge difference. So please take the challenge to share it with just one. And I hope you like this enough to go check out Sales Leadership United. Even if it's just to go see the Good Day framework that I mentioned. Go to Sales Leadership United. Use the code Rob at the checkout to get a free week on me. Pull down that good uh, day framework and even if you cancel, you'll be glad you have that. Thank you for your trust and your friendship.

Speaker A: Thank you.

Speaker B: I am so grateful to be part of the sales community, part of the Sales leadership community. I am grateful to be part of your development and your personal leadership, uh, assets and my promise to you, the best is yet to come. Go do your best work so you can live your best life. Help create life changing years for those you lead. And don't worry, just execute because as you know, we got you. Have a terrific week. Thank you so much for joining the Sales Leadership Podcast, the award winning Sales Leadership Podcast. For those sales leaders looking to create legendary impact to those they lead, the greatest compliment you can give is to share this show and any of your favorite episodes with your fellow sales leaders, social media followers or other communities you're part of. The Sales Leadership Podcast is brought to you by the Jepsen Performance Group Group. If you want to discuss any of the topics discussed on the show, want to level up your leadership impact, discuss executive coaching services or even include me at an upcoming event, hit me up@robetpg.com that's rob pg.com and to those of you working to become a legendary sales leader, I salute you and wish you much success on your journey. Whenever you need someone in your corner corner, you know where to find me.