Respected & Connected · 2025-01-07 · 14 min
Key moments - from our scoring
Substance score
17 / 100
Five dimensions, 20 points each
Rather than offering a year-end framework or goal-setting tool, the host uses three attention-grabbing news stories to anchor a deeper conversation about reimagining relationships within a patriarchal culture. The Blake Lively and Justin Baldoni conflict particularly resonates, as the host draws parallels to her own experience in a toxic workplace and the real costs women face when speaking up. Drawing heavily from Bell Hooks' *The Will to Change: Masculinity and Love*, the host argues that patriarchal culture doesn't care if men are happy - only if they're successful, powerful, and wealthy. This leaves men chasing dominance and career accolades instead of love and authentic connection. The host rejects the binary that men need respect while women need emotional safety, asserting instead that both genders deserve equitable, intimate relationships based on genuine partnership. Rather than giving up on men or accepting feminist rhetoric that frames men as hopeless, the host commits to helping women and men find common ground and shared vision for more loving, collaborative relationships moving forward.
The host is not surprised by how events unfolded and is grateful Lively spoke up publicly, while acknowledging that doing so is costly and that many women lack the resources and support Lively had to make that choice.
Hooks argues that men's unhappiness and grief about relationship failure goes unnoticed because patriarchal culture only cares if men are successful, powerful, and wealthy - not if they're actually happy or loved.
Rather than abandoning men as hopeless, the host believes the underlying feminist wish is to include men in a vision for equitable, loving relationships, and that giving up on men contradicts the effort to change the system.
The common belief that men's greatest desire is respect while women's is emotional safety reflects limited vision; both genders deserve equitable, intimate, and authentic relationships based on equal partnership.
The host commits to helping women and men find common ground, create shared goals and visions for relationships, and build intimate equitable partnerships based on reconciliation rather than gender conflict.
Our reviewer’s read on each dimension, with quotes from the episode.
The episode consists almost entirely of personal reflection and philosophical musing about patriarchy, feminism, and relationships without offering concrete tools, frameworks, or actionable insights for operators. While the host references Bell Hooks and discusses high-level concepts like patriarchal culture limiting men's emotional development, there is virtually no novel, non-obvious substance that a B2B operator or relationship practitioner would learn - only restated feminist theory and vague aspirations.
I don't have any great framework for you guys today. I don't have any great advice for you on how to kind of wrap up 2024 and start fresh in 2025.
I don't have a magic solution for all of this, but I just want to encourage you all, um, to keep working at it and keep hoping for it.
The episode recycles well-established feminist critiques (patriarchal culture harms both men and women, patriarchy prevents authentic intimacy) and quotes directly from Bell Hooks without developing original thinking. The framing of men's unhappiness as an unexamined cost of patriarchy is drawn directly from existing feminist scholarship, not fresh insight or counterintuitive analysis specific to relationships or business contexts.
The unhappiness of men in relationships, the grief men feel about the failure of love, often goes unnoticed in our society precisely because the patriarchal culture really does not care if men are unhappy.
We care if men are successful, we care if men are powerful, we care if men are wealthy, but we don't care if they're happy.
This is a solo monologue episode with no guest. The host appears to be a relationship coach with some RLT (Relationship Level Training) certification, but there is no evidence of demonstrated scale, operating experience, or practitioner credibility beyond self-positioning. No expert or practitioner with relevant credentials or track record is present.
And this was a book that was recommended to me as part of my curriculum and my RLT training.
Whether you work with me one on one as a coach or you enroll in a course or a program or a community
The episode is almost entirely abstract and philosophical, referencing only three real-world cases (Blake Lively/Justin Baldoni, Trump lawsuit, and a case in France) without specifics, data, metrics, or concrete examples of relationship dynamics or interventions. No dollar figures, timelines, named companies (beyond celebrities), or measurable outcomes are provided. The promised "five Skills for an Intimate Collaborative Marriage" guide is mentioned but never detailed or substantiated.
I've had a lot of different things on my mind and I know that this is the last episode that I'm recording before I go on a little bit of a break.
the contention the conflict between Blake Lively and Justin Baldoni, um, as some of these sexual harassment and retaliation claims has, have come forth, that's gotten my attention.
This is a solo monologue with no interview component, host follow-ups, or challenge. There is no conversational dynamic, no pushback on ideas, and no probing questions. The host explicitly acknowledges waffling and uncertainty about what to share, which undermines directiveness. The episode reads as unstructured personal processing rather than crafted instruction or dialogue.
I've really had a hard time figuring out what to record for this episode today. I've had a lot of different things on my mind
And I just haven't really thought of anything.
Computed from the transcript - who did the talking, and the words that came up most.
In this final episode before the break, Sharon Costanzo reflects on her year, the thought-provoking books and stories that are on her mind, and how it paints her unique perspective as a woman navigating a world dominated by patriarchal structures. Sharon reflects on recent events, including Blake Lively and Jason Baldoni, the overturning of Donald Trump's sexual assault case, and the broader challenges women face when speaking out. With eyes toward the future, Sharon explores how patriarchy limits men, their happiness, their ability to connect deeply, and offers resources and insights for men and women to create equitable relationships and shared visions for a better future.
Transcribed and scored by The B2B Podcast Index.
Speaker A: Do you feel overwhelmed by all the expert advice on improving your relationship? Many so called experts offer one sided solutions that force you to choose between your own well being and your relationship. But it doesn't have to be that way. Imagine a marriage where you can truly advocate for yourself while also being attentive to your partner's needs. It's not only possible, but practical. To help you achieve this balance, I've created a free guide, five Skills for an Intimate Collaborative Marriage. In this guide, you'll discover five actionable tools to strengthen your relationship without sacrificing your well being or neglecting your partner. Um, ready to transform your relationship? Click the link in the show notes to grab your free copy of five Skills for an Intimate Collaborative Marriage and start building a more balanced, fulfilling partnership. Today
Speaker B: I've really had a hard time figuring out what to record for this episode today. I've had a lot of different things on my mind and I know that this is the last episode that I'm recording before I go on a little bit of a break. And I've just been kind of waffling between, you know, doing something really inspirational for the end of 2024 and the beginning of 2025. Um, trying to offer you some sort of a, ah, tool or a framework or something to reflect on the year or make goals for the new year. And I just haven't really thought of anything. And the other thing that I've been just following in the news, um, there have been kind of three kind of attention catching stories at least for me and for the content that I follow that have really been on my mind. The first thing that I, that came up and I shared a little bit about it on Instagram, I haven't really shared all of my ongoing thoughts on Instagram as this story has developed, but it's the contention the conflict between Blake Lively and Justin Baldoni, um, as some of these sexual harassment and retaliation claims has, have come forth, that's gotten my attention. Um, I haven't really talked a little much about my experience being in a toxic workplace. Um, but that story kind of hit home just based on some of the things that I've experienced in the workplace and some of the backlash that I have received, um, from, from speaking up about those experiences in my workplace and also just speaking up in general as a woman who, who is against male domination and is against women being treated the way that they are often in the workplace and in our society. So that's been on my mind a lot. I've been following that a lot. I, of course, I don't know exactly what happened, but I am not surprised to see how things have unfolded and to see how Blake Lively has been villainized and all of the assumptions that are made, like, why didn't you speak up? Why did you continue with the movie? All of those things. And I just want to speak as a woman who has been in a similar situation. It is very costly to speak up. And I'm really grateful that she did. Um, and I acknowledge that she has the resources and support that many women do not have. And that's one of the reasons why she probably was able to speak up. But I'm grateful that she did, um, because these conversations are important and it's important to take some of these conversations out of the darkness of, you know, HR complaints and behind closed doors, non disclosure agreements and all of that, and really talk about what is happening when someone like Justin Baldoni, who claims to be an ally of women, turns out to probably not be who he says he is. The other story that I've kind of been paying attention to is some legal proceedings between Donald Trump and one of the many women who have accused him of, of sexual assault. And that that case was overturned. And I just have briefly done a little bit of reading on that. Not nearly as much as the Blake and Justin story. But, um, of course that's concerning because this man is our president. And that is very concerning to me. But it's, it's also refreshing to see that these things are being talked about more openly. And then there's the other story. And I cannot remember the woman's name, but the woman in France who
Speaker A: brought
Speaker B: up a case against her husband for drugging her and allowing many men to come and violate her. And these are just common everyday men who have the opportunity, who were given the opportunity to do something utterly disgusting and despicable, and they did it, um, and they're being called out for it. And, uh, it's really sad to me, but again, I'm really glad that we're having these conversations in a more public way. It's been hard for me to have these conversations in a more private way though, with my friends and family. I honestly have not had these conversations with people who I think might disagree with me. And I think it's because it's so uncomfortable.
Speaker C: Um,
Speaker B: so it's just an interesting dynamic. And I actually started reading this book called the Will to Men, Masculinity and Love by Bell Hooks. And this was a book that was recommended to me as part of my curriculum and my RLT training. And in the very first, you know, preface and chapters. And first chapter. I'm just in the first chapter right now. Bell hooks talks about how hard it is to talk about how we feel about men and how we want to feel loved by men, but we often don't. We learn to kind of pretend that any sort of positive attention that we get from men is love, but it's not. Um, so I'm just talking, I'm just reading this and I'm thinking about it. And the thing that really struck me, and the thing that is kind of my intention and my aspiration moving forward with what I share in the future on this podcast and what I really help my clients grapple with and hope to accomplish in my work is how do we reconcile this longing for more intimate, meaningful, authentic relationships with the harms of patriarchy? And this phrase, this phrase from this book really struck me. Um, from the book again, the will to change by bell hooks. The unhappiness of men in relationships, the grief men feel about the failure of love, often goes unnoticed in our society precisely because the patriarchal culture really does not care if men are unhappy. And I think that's really true. You know, we care if men are successful, we care if men are powerful, we care if men are wealthy, but we don't care if they're happy. And I don't think that men have really, uh, been given the opportunity to, in our patriarchal culture to think about what really makes them happy, because they're chasing patriarchal forms of success, money, power, dominance, career accomplishments, professional accolades, but not love. To really be in a, uh, meaningful, loving relationship. And that's kind of the goal of, of respected and connected from that male perspective. You know, when, when people talk about relationships issues, in most circles, someone will chime in and say, well, men, men's greatest desire in a relationship is be to be respected, and women's greatest desire is to feel emotionally safe or to feel loved and cherished. And I think the only reason why that is true is because we haven't been given a, uh, more expansive vision of what a loving relationship really looks like between two equals, whether it be a man and a woman or two men or two women, or even a platonic relationship between two equals that really is loving and intimate. We don't have a vision of what that looks like. So instead we kind of settle into these dynamics where we're managing each other, we're controlling each other, often in covert ways, and we're calling that love. And so I don't have any great framework for you guys today. I don't have any great advice for you on how to kind of wrap up 2024 and start fresh in 2025. But I want to share this commitment and aspir you of what's going to be happening within the respected and connected community. Whether you work with me one on one as a coach or you enroll in a course or a program or a community is. I'm not giving up on men, and I'm not giving up on creating intimate, equitable relationships. So if that's what you're looking for, you're totally in the right place. I hope that you will keep in touch. I am planning to come back hopefully in just a few months. Um, if you want to keep in touch in the meantime, connect with me on Instagram. I'll link in the show notes to my Instagram profile, which is respected and connected. If you're not on my email list, join that as well. Because I do think we are going to be part of this. Whatever's on the forefront, we are going to be part of taking that anger and that rage that we felt for so long about being the victims of male dominance and creating something that works better for men and women. There's another thing from this book I'm reading that really is helping me to set the tone for the future. Well, there's two. There's two kind of things. So this is from bell hooks. Within the early writings of radical feminism, anger, rage and even hatred of men was voiced. Yet there was no meaningful attempt to offer ways to resolve these feelings, to imagine a culture of reconciliation where women and men might meet and find common ground. So that's my real aspiration for the year, is to help women and men, um, meet on equitable ground and find common ground and create a common, common goals and common visions for their relationships. And then there's just one other thing that I thought, you know, there's so much rhetoric around feminism and just that we have no need for men. And I think if we really had accepted that, and if we really had accepted that men were totally hopeless and unnecessary, um, we wouldn't still be trying to change the system. Um, but I think it's that, that underlying wish that we really all have to include men in our vision for the future, that we can't give up on men and we just have to continue inviting them into our vision for more equitable, loving relationships. So that's what I have. It's nothing flashy or fancy. I don't have a magic solution for all of this, but I just want to encourage you all, um, to keep working at it and keep hoping for it.
Speaker C: Thanks so much for listening to the respected and connected podcast.
Speaker B: It means the world to me that
Speaker C: you're here and that you value strong, healthy relationships. If you like what you're hearing on the podcast and you know that it can help others, please take the time to to rate, review and share the podcast so that we can spread this message and reach more people like you who are looking for help to create more intimacy and collaboration in their most important relationships.
Speaker A: If you found value in what you heard today, and you're ready for something more, click the link in the show notes to access more programs and resources to help you on your journey of creating meaningful, satisfying relationships.
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