IG Live | From Betrayal to Abundance: Healing Trauma, Building Wealth & Detecting Life-Saving Health Risks

Speaker A: Good afternoon, Good evening. It is. That's right. More good news Wednesday. More good news for me. More good news for you. We're just making this tune of the calendar adjustment. Instead of flying, we are now driving to uh, that's right, not Kilimanjaro, but, uh, Kalamazoo. Uh, so if you're in Kalamazoo, Michigan, we look forward to seeing you tomorrow. We are on our way. Never fear, the Walmart are here on Wednesday. It is no longer hump day. There's nothing to get over, get through, get around. Uh, simply stop lying, cheating and denying it. Just supply it. More good news is what we're looking for. Let's go ahead and pin up our contact information. If you'd like to join us in not Kilimanjaro, but Kalamazoo, Michigan. Thank you, Colleen. And uh, we'll pin that up there. If you want to be invited but not obligated to come to all the different cities like Kalamazoo, not Kilimanjaro, Kalamazoo, Michigan tomorrow, or San Diego on Friday or Vegas into our season 11 filming and VIP dinners and masterminds and interviews. If you're going to be in Vegas, let us know. You'll be invited, not obligated to our TV show. Our VIP dinners, we're going to be in, uh, Newport beach with Tim Story, Marie Diamond Jay Abraham, a bunch of great people there. We're going to be, uh, back into Las Vegas. We'll be at Sofi stadium, will be in Miami with Messi at the Miami fc. We'll be at in England at our UK investor private member mastermind. We'll be also at the all Star Game, uh, with our VIP dinners and mastermind interviews will be in Fanatics fest with our speeches, interviews, VIP dinners as well in New York City if you like these cities. If you want to be informed, it's 949-298-2905 and Laura Cheadle is with

Speaker B: about betrayal, trouble and uh, how couples especially can survive the trauma that's caused by betrayal. Laura, welcome. Thank you for your patience.

Speaker C: Thank you for having me. I'm looking forward to our conversation.

Speaker B: It's an uncomfortable one when you've been married 20 years and has a super beautiful wife and uh, are uh, always concerned, uh, as uh, so many people around you have these betrayal issues, uh, and uh, some of them aren't necessarily, uh, relationship, uh, issues but have the same impact. Um, how can people rebuild confidence, trust and their own identity after a betrayal?

Speaker C: Yeah, it's a tough one. The most important Thing is really learning how to separate yourself from the acts of the other person. Because we're used to defining who we are in relationship to another. So, uh, instead of thinking of this as a relationship issue, which it really isn't, when you can turn the tables and think about this in terms of who am I and how can I become more fully myself, that's truly where you start to heal.

Speaker B: I think there's different definitions, you know, in a relationship about betrayal. It doesn't necessarily have to be cheating. Uh, I know there's financial betrayals, uh, there's emotional betrayals. Um, what are some. Beyond cheating, which is the obvious betrayal of a relationship, what are some of the other betrayals that people have that they may not even realize has created this resentment or guilt or worry or other emotions that interfere with a really healthy relationship?

Speaker C: Exactly. Betrayal is defined as the breaking of any expectation that you relied on that ruptures your view of yourself or the marriage. So sometimes even something like having kids, you might have the assumption that your partner is going to be stepping up and doing something full time. They've got a totally different assumption. And it can create a sense of betrayal. Not all betrayal is an actual betrayal. It can just be the sense of betrayal. And like you mentioned, financial. That's huge. Financial betrayal is huge. Emotional and then, yeah, absolutely. Time spent with each other. Sexual betrayal. Who are you sharing your time with?

Speaker B: And people deal with these in the wrong way. What's some of the wrong ways to deal with betrayal?

Speaker C: Yeah. One of the worst things I think that people can do is make it an issue right away. You know, it feels like, well, the marriage is broken, so we're going to get married. And that's not always the best thing to do. The best thing to do is really to start sitting with yourself and thinking, what did I expect? What assumptions did I have about the relationship that were not met? And what am I fairly or unfairly putting on my partner? And when you can separate yourself from your partner and do that deeper work, then when you come together, if you choose to come together and rebuild, which my partner and I did, then you've got two healthier, more complete people doing the work

Speaker B: within that work. Um, and I've done a lot of that as far as, uh, my identity relying on people outside of me, uh, and your own self image, reliant on what such an insane thing of what I think other people think of me. And regardless of whether it was my spouse or other people that were relative to me, uh, this probably to me was One of the most damaging, uh, things in my own pursuit of my. My potential was I was so reliant on what I thought.

Speaker C: Right, right. It's so hard because we're trained to seek validation outside. We're trained to strive harder, to do more. That's something that we seek. And it's really hard sometimes within an intimate relationship, then to step back and to realize I don't have to perform. My intimate relationship is not transactional. I just get to be who I am. And many of us are wildly uncomfortable with that because we're used to striving, we're used to proving, and we're used to other people telling us, yes, that was good or no, you need to do this instead.

Speaker B: How about the aspect, and I know that I suffered from this as well, is that the diminished, um, value in your relationship when you realize that it is about you, not about the other person, and you have these misconceptions about love in this validation. So you actually feel that if I don't think this way, then I'm really not in love. And I really don't value this person in my life because it really has this introspective identity that is not reliant or even contributed to what the other person thinks at all.

Speaker C: Right. Right. It's really hard because first of all, hurt people hurt people. And trusting people trust people. So, so often when infidelity or any kind of betrayal happens, people will say, I didn't know the other person. You know, I think maybe you did. Did you know they were a hurt person? Well, yes, I did. And are you a trusting person? Well, yes, I am. So this is why that happened. There's no blame, there's no shame. That's hard. But it's also important. It's just, this is who we are, and this is how this came together. And then the decision becomes, what do I do with this? Do I become bitter and resentful my whole life, or do I use this as a catalyst to know myself deeper, to know other people deeper, and to maybe have the opportunity to do things differently going forward.

Speaker B: Yeah. And to thy known self be true. I. Interesting, because my mom and my wife are very trusting people. And I have this terrible story about being a young boy and stealing $20 out of my mom's purse. And then within 30 minute grocery store, we were very poor. Six kids, single mom. And we get up to. I get choked up telling the story. We get up to the register and my mom starts to cry because she doesn't have enough money. And her thought, because she's a trusting person is, oh my goodness, I lost the money for the groceries, right? Meanwhile, I'm, um, six, six years old, I steal the $20 and I never told her, uh, right. And so then later on in my life, my wife, again, so trusting, she would leave her purse out with teenagers in the home and have hundreds of dollars just sticking out of her purse. And she'd leave it on the counter. And I say, you need to put that away and lock that up. She said, why? I said, because these kids are going to steal your money. And she said, oh no they won't. Because she's such a trusting. Because she trust. She would never do that. My mom would never do that. But unfortunately I did do that. And it was so interesting as I worked through these exact issues. Which is why the work you do is so important to help people heal, uh, in this idea of betrayal and self image, uh, especially because we'll never overachieve our self image. And no matter how successful or happy others perceive you to be, these are the little things, uh, that will stop you, uh, I always say it will stop you from filling that God sized hole with everything but God. Uh, where can people work with you? This is a very common thing. You're very blessed to be an expert in this because I always say if I'm starving as a coach, I'll just tell people I'm the expert in mommy issues and everybody will, uh, be my client. Betrayal, uh, is one of those things. Everybody needs your help. Where can they find you to get some help?

Speaker C: Yeah, I think the first place to go is to betrayal recoveryguide.com they can download their free betrayal recovery guide. Simple first steps for any kind of betrayal.

Speaker B: I love that and I really appreciate what you do. I wish I would have known about this, uh, years ago because it costs a lot more money and a lot more time trying to figure this out and learn the things that I've already learned and need to learn more. So I'm going to go myself just to see what tips and things, uh, that are missing still from my repertoire and toolkit to deal with betrayal, uh, and the energy and genetic energy of that. We have other shows in Breckenridge, not obligations, but I'd love for you to share with our community more. They really need your help. Thank you.

Speaker C: Thank you so much.

Speaker B: You're amazing. Wow. What a great thing to be an expert in. I never, um, you know, this world is specific, but wow. Trail in all aspects, not just infidelity. So if you have Those stories, like I do, about trusting spouses and moms and other things in your life that you may have betrayed other people or not met their expectations. Uh, I would definitely get that guy. Uh, rock and rolling on our way to Michigan. Uh, and Rebecca is in the house and, uh, her husband and dear friend of mine. We are blessed on more good news Wednesday.

Speaker D: Hi, David.

Speaker B: Cincinnati, Ohio. Rebecca Whitman. Great. Again. Uh, hopefully from there. She is so wonderful.

Speaker D: How are you? Great to see you.

Speaker B: I know I wasn't anticipating being on the road.

Speaker D: You're breaking up a little bit. I am in Cincinnati. You're breaking up. You're breaking up a little bit.

Speaker B: I'm sorry. Yeah, I wasn't expecting. I wasn't expecting to be on the road, but the weather canceled our flight and I gotta speak. Speak in Michigan. Kalamazoo. So we're driving up from Louisville and I, uh, want to thank, by the way, the crash Champions people. They were amazing hosts. We had Nick Saban, Now Kalamazoo. I want to talk about the balance, beautiful and abundant show that you have. What a great brand behind you.

Speaker A: Thank you.

Speaker D: So nice.

Speaker B: Give me an idea of what we're with the show, and it just seems wonderful. The lessons that we can learn.

Speaker D: This show is based on my seven pillars of abundance, and my philosophy divides life into seven key areas. Spirituality, fitness, emotions, romance, mental, social, and financial. And when you have all seven pillars of your life in alignment, you are balanced, beautiful, and abundant. The show is going amazing. We hit top 35 in the United States this summer under the category of education. And we've had amazing people like you on it. Ken Honda, Marie Diamond Joe Vitale, Marcy Scheimhoff, a lot of people that you shared stages with, and it's just, it's going crazy. I'm getting so much great feedback on the show, and it's because I find experts that do deep dives into each of the seven pillars and give people tips, tools, and strategies to get each pillar of their life to a level of a level 10.

Speaker B: Well, you're going to have to get Laura on the romance pillar. I found my expert in betrayal. That was super interesting. Um, speaking of which, those pillars,

Speaker A: uh,

Speaker B: six of them, are well used and agreed upon by many people. But I rarely hear romance as being a pillar. Uh, tell me why romance is so important, uh, as a pillar of yours.

Speaker D: Well, I figured out these pillars through a sales training where they would set goals every January. And each of these six pillars, like you said, they're well known. But I was romantically challenged and I Kept choosing emotionally unavailable, narcissistic men over and over again and trying to change them, which I like to say is a sad and exhausting hobby. So I would set goals. I would set goals in the romantic pillar every year and be like, this is the year that I'm finally going to, like, pick a healthy guy. And it finally worked. You know, my husband, Ben, we're happily married now for four years. And so. But it took really being aware and setting goals in that pillar of my life. So I didn't keep repeating the same pattern year in and year out. And I coach women in midlife to manifest their soulmate because I know what it's like to feel the frustration of being on the dating apps and meeting tons of people, but the people who you like don't like you, and the people that I used to like didn't like me, and it was just. It was a mess. So I figured out a way to sort through all that, and now I love teaching women how to manifest their soulmate in midlife.

Speaker B: That's awesome. Does it only apply to midlife? Because I know, uh, a lot of younger women feel the exact same way, and they are needed with the same feeling. Is it applicable to younger women as well?

Speaker D: It does. It actually applies to all ages, and it's basically seven simple steps to manifest your soulmate, and it works in any age. So if you are frustrated, in love and, uh, want to check these seven, uh, steps out on how to manifest your soulmate, hit me up right on note.

Speaker B: One of the things you said really resonated with me, which I think is applicable to all the pillars, and it revolved around the ego's need to control things. Um, one of the aspects of the ego's need to control things is to change them. Uh, and the only change we can make is within, uh, the changes we make and the power we have a perception and meaning, uh, to be able to, like you say, select or make the choices that are best aligned with our divine direction. Um, how can we utilize or leverage the same lessons about not changing that which is outside of us, but changing what's inside of us to find what we want outside of us? Does it apply to the other pillars as well?

Speaker D: It totally applies. I am a recovering perfectionist, so I got great results. I graduated from Princeton. I was a nationally ranked tennis player. But I got those results, uh, that's it. Through talking to myself in a very harsh, derogatory way. I was just very, uh, motivated by fear and just anger and not wanting to fail and Then when I started learning to abate my ego, like to say, your ego is not your amigo, and just be kind to myself and talk to myself like I would talk to a best friend or how I would talk to my dog because I treat my dog better than anyone. Uh, then I started to attract success without being mean to myself and without the exhaustion and the burnout. In fact, I started to magnetize people, places, things, opportunities that were beneficial in all seven areas of my life. And I would meet the right people, like how I met you, and they would teach me the lesson that I needed to get to my next step of growth, development and unfoldment. And I would listen to a podcast about fitness and that would help me get to the next level. And when you start being open minded and put your ego in your back pocket and really become like a seeker and don't think you know everything, then you will definitely have breakthroughs in all these seven areas of life. If you're open.

Speaker A: Yeah.

Speaker B: That expansive growth, the acceleration, aggravation, the compounding of the correct behaviors, the fulfillment that comes from that. I will tell you that we were so, uh, disappointed and upset when you guys moved from California. My wife Julie, who you've gotten to meet, is a big fan of yours in the show, by the way. But she was.

Speaker D: Thank you.

Speaker B: When she found out that you were such an extraordinary tennis player, she's like, damn it. I never asked her to be my partner because I always need a really good partner. She plays a lot of tennis, so, uh, I'm not very good, but she is. Anyways, uh, where can people find you? Find the show, support you, but also engage in this balanced and beautiful bundle.

Speaker D: Well, first of all, thank you. And we miss you and Julie and your amazing events and I can't wait to see you on the road. Like, Louisville's pretty close next time. You're that close. I definitely want to be a part of whatever you're doing. Or New York. New York's just an hour plane right away, so I miss you guys and so does my husband Ben. But I have this amazing bundle with not one, but two, not three, but four gifts. So you are going to get a digital copy of my book, how to make a Six Figure Income Working Part time, where you get all seven pillars of abundance laid out and then you get three affirmations to help you with that pillar of abundance. Uh, the second gift is you get ageless beauty tips, which is amazing. You get, um, a poem I wrote called Elegant Warrior Manifesto, uh, which I would love to Read if we have time. If we don't, just check it out in the balance. Beautiful bundle. It's just an amazing.

Speaker B: I'm going to have you on my other show for a longer interview, so we'll definitely listen to it there.

Speaker D: You want to hear it? And then the fourth one is my Abundance Journal, which has five life changing journal prompts that will change your life, that will help you turn negative to positive, to learn from your failures and turn them into wins to celebrate other people's wins and learn from them. And these five journal prompts have sculpted my soul and taken me from a very negative, critical person who was addicted to alcohol to sober 22 years and just so excited about my life because I get to learn from other people every day like you and like so many people that I get to celebrate their wins and learn from them and learn from my own, uh, wins and also learn I get to flip things. Like one of the journal prompts is how the worst thing that happened to me today is actually the best thing. And it's just an amazing way to shift my perspective every single day. So all of this comes in the balance. Beautiful bundle. And, and, uh, I can put it in the chat right now if you want me to, or you can go to my Instagram link in bio and I'd love for you guys to check it out. You can also DM me if you have any questions about any of the things we discussed or want to hear more about the podcast. Yep.

Speaker B: Love it. Love you. Send my love to Ben. Uh, absolutely. Will be in New York. Dinner and other things in New York. So join us there. And, uh, we just are so proud and adore you. Thank you for helping so many people and I look forward to checking out the bundle myself. So thank you for joining us and we'll invite you onto our other shows. We'll see you, Rebecca.

Speaker D: Thank you. Thank you, David. Love you too. Bye.

Speaker B: Thank you for your face.

Speaker D: Thanks for listening.

Speaker B: Great, Great job. Uh, two amazing women so far, similarly synergistically related to one another with their, uh, subject matter, topic and expertise. Uh, very synergistic. And there's the link right there above under Rebecca Whitman. Uh, so check that out with the pillar. HTTP Pillar link. Go ahead. Uh, check it out. All right, we are rocking and rolling. Uh, the storm has subsided and we are blessed to be on our way to not Kilimanjaro, but Kalamazoo. And, uh, the doctors in the house wait for us. Dr. Christopher is here. Board certified dermatologist at Ironwood Dermatology and we're going to discuss the significant gap in mela. And people don't realize, uh, skin care and, uh, what we're doing and the lack of standardization of dermascopy education. And I probably said that a little bit wrong, but, uh, I'm doing my best. Dr. Michael Christopher out of Arizona. Welcome to more good news Wednesday, as we are driving clear flight was canceled to not Kilimanjaro, but Kalamazoo. Hey, Michael.

Speaker A: How are you?

Speaker E: I'm excellent. Nice to meet you. David. Pleasure.

Speaker B: Oh, what an honor to meet you. I was blessed to meet with the Surgeon General, and I asked him what are the biggest concerns, um, of, you know, for Americans? And I was super surprised. Not when he said smoking, not when he said obesity, but when he said skincare. Those were the top three. And, uh, I had no idea how many people are not diagnosed, misdiagnosed, and the significant impact that skincare has resulting in so many, uh, deaths. And, uh, it's amazing. So give, uh, me an idea about this gap or, uh, lack of significant commonality, uh, regulation or ability to diagnose, uh, what is concerning our Surgeon General as a top three concern or skin care?

Speaker E: Yeah. So great question. And in all honesty, that's literally what my whole platform is about, is discussing that gap in the current standardization for melanoma detection in Arizona. We do a very good job here of, um, kind of recording the state data for melanoma detection. And so we have a, uh, good, uh, beat on how many melanomas are detected per dermatologist or dermatology provider. The state average is around 17, uh, 17, uh, to 20, depending on the year. And I find anywhere from 150 to 250 melanomas per year now, which is a large gap, you know, 8 to 12 times the average. And it's not because I see more patients. I see roughly the same number of patients as most dermatologists. I only do 24 skin checks on a, um, given day. I work four days a week, and I take four weeks off a year. The gap comes you due to standardization of a tool called a dermatoscope, which I have. No, I do not sell these at all. Uh, I literally do this because I want patients to get better care. Because we have worldwide 60,000 people dying from melanoma. And this year, uh, they estimate anywhere from 8,500 to 10,000, uh, um, uh, citizens of the United States dying from melanoma. And that is significant. That is somebody's brother, their sister, their mother, their father, a child. And that could Be your police officer, teacher, healthcare worker. Uh, and so one, one death touches so many lives and we have a way to prevent it. Stage. If you find melanoma, uh, when it's stage zero, you can cut it out and cure it. And we can do that.

Speaker B: That's incredible. And tell me about the scope because, uh, is this something that you can individually purchase, utilize to identify melanoma?

Speaker E: So you can. Yeah, so it's actually consumer available that you can. Anybody could go online and buy a dermatoscope. Uh, the issue is understanding the structures that you see. And that really is a problem currently in our, that's our gap in our healthcare system. It's not that people don't use it. Some dermatologists don't use it actually at all. I would say there's a good number that do. However, the knowledge gap is quite significant and that needs to change so that we can identify melanomas.

Speaker B: How can we use AI? So if I would use a scope and then identify, do you see in the future available today, the ability to take a picture of it, put it into ChatGPT and say yes or no, this is a melanoma, or even just text it to your doctor.

Speaker E: So I was part, uh, of a study in 2024 that actually evaluated artificial, uh, intelligence and dermoscopy. And it had some great, uh, benefits and utilization. Uh, but these are perfect scenarios that we put the AI in. So how the image is obtained, the interface that is on the skin, how much time it's present on the skin for it to assess it, and with that it is still not perfect. And uh, I think about this very frequently because I do think AI is going to have a big impact. But I think we really have to understand what the limitations are. Some of the largest platforms, they have tested their AI on say 100,000 lesions. Uh, and that is. It sounds like a lot, a ton of spots, right? Well, I may have a patient who has 2,000 moles on their body. 2,000 moles. And so in a given day I may look at a hundred thousand spots. So a hundred thousand spot. I know it sounds madness, right? It's a ton of ton of things to go through, but most of them very quickly. You're able to ascertain this is benign or it's not. Um, but the requirement should be that you are looking at it with a dermatoscope. So the data sets, we have to make them much larger, I believe, for us to actually get more precision with a dermatoscope and with AI.

Speaker B: And I Know from having four children that dermatologists, uh, are overloaded with patients.

Speaker E: Yeah.

Speaker B: Is. Is telemedicine an option to identify melanoma?

Speaker E: So I think it could be. But, um, you. The trainability for, so the tool, the dramatiscope, uh, if we can train it to where the images are captured, there's multiple modes. So you have a polarized mode, a non polarized mode. Then you have UV fluorescent dermoscopy. So you could train the user to do it. Uh, so say a melanographer. They have those in Australia. You would have to scale that at a large, um, kind of at a mass scale to make it, I think, deployable.

Speaker B: Yeah. It is amazing, uh, how I see technology really making humans more human and expert, uh, or doctor, physician like yourself becomes more scalable. In other words, more human to help more humans to save more lives, where so many people are looking at technology in a different way of supplementing or replacing talent. To me, another great example about technology is just allowing, uh, our better humans to be better. Uh, and you are a testament to great work of the democratic oath of me on a mission of empowering other people and empowering, uh, you do such a great job and we look forward to seeing you. When we're in Arizona, we have other shows to elevate the awareness of, uh, what you're doing and the issue at hand because it is impacting everyone. It absolutely is. And whether, uh, it causes death or not, there's, uh, a lot of other dis, uh, ease that is created if we're not, uh, proactive in identifying, uh, these things. And so, uh, and it's only going to get worse because, as you know, uh, the sun is becoming every day, especially to our skin. And um, it is great to know that we have stewards of protection and promotion like yourselves. Where can people reach out to you if they have any questions, uh, or need any help?

Speaker E: Mainly my Instagram page. So, which is Michael, uh, Christopher M.D. uh, but that's it. I'm very active on this platform. Otherwise the other social media is not very active.

Speaker B: That's okay. We have nowhere to reach you. That's enough. Thank you, Dr. Michael. Christopher, we appreciate the education and the inspiration. We look forward to seeing you in person. Thanks so much.

Speaker E: I'd love to meet you, David. You too as well. You take care. Drive safe. Safe travels.

Speaker B: I got a great driver. I'd rather be frustrated on the ground and afraid in the air.

Speaker E: So we're on the ground 100%. I agree. Safe travels.

Speaker C: You take care.

Speaker B: All right.

Speaker E: Bye. Bye.

Speaker B: That's one of me and the Nickelwoman. We love to say that we're driving. Was supposed to be five hours. Was probably six hours, uh, to. Not Kilimanjaro, but Kalamazoo, Michigan. I was in Kilimanjaro. That's where I'm making the jokes with Nick, actually checking out lions and zebras and the pumbas, uh, the rhinos. Even in the big crater, we saw the big Five. That's right. Speaking of the Big Five, they had the big Five at, uh, Crash. Champions. Our friends, Matt Ebert, Nick Saban talking champions, championship and champion talk. Uh, my favorite line from Nick Saban was, if you have an organization of champions, you don't have to worry about winning a championship. You will. And so are we empowering people? Are we surrounding ourselves with champions? You are a champion. Be the champion that you already are. In fact, you can ask Tim Story and I at our Newport Beach Map mastermind. We're writing a book called the champion, uh, that you are, uh, and have a podcast, the champion that you are. Wam. You got it Real. You got it, Robbie. All right. Anyways, uh, we are on our way. Not to Kilimanjaro, but the Kalamazoo, Michigan, if you're around. Uh, gosh, I wish, uh, Rebecca and Ben would have known we were in Louisville. They could have come and seen us yesterday. We had time. Uh, but if you're in Kalamazoo, Michigan, if you're in Chicago, if you're in San Diego, if you're in Las Vegas, if you're at the All Star Game or Fanatics Fest, or if you're in London, or if you're at Miami and want to come see us at the FC Messi. We got so much going on, 200 cities a year. But you're not going to get informed or invited unless you are a member of our text community and read Those error code. 949 pinned right below 2982905. You got a jingle to help you remember it? Something like 949-298-2905. All right. 949-298-2905. Please join us, but be more interested then. Interesting. Be kind to your future self and do good deeds. My name is David AT D. My first initial, Meltzer. That's David, Beloved AT D. My first initial Meltzer. Servant, let me be your beloved servant. Be kind to your future self on, um, more good news Wednesday, and do good deeds. See you tomorrow in Kalamazoo. Thanks.