Office Hours #902 | From Disney to Manifestation to Conflict Resolution: Powerful Lessons on Success, Mindset, and Human Connection

Speaker A: Alrighty. Welcome to office hours episode 902 or so. We are blessed to have two of the finest in the game. Blaine Bartlett. Blaine bartlett.com. my mentor, my teacher, my coach. Moving which we'll talk about with Kevin today. Moving possibilities into reality. And of course the powerful one. You never know where he is in the world as uh, an ambassador, diplomat and one of Marshall Goldsmith top 100 business coaches. The incredible. The edible. The edible. Rhett, our thank you for joining me. All right gentlemen, just as a quick one as always in the 200 cities we'll be visiting. I just want to review it real quickly. Uh, Chicago, which I think Kevin is in Chicago. Be in Chicago. And then uh, with Tim Story, J. Abraham, myself John Coyle, uh, Marie diamond, all in Newport beach for our act like a champion you are mastermind series in Las Vegas for summer league. Once again, the whole car wash. VIP dinners, meetups, holding court, all for charity. Uh, the all star game in Philly's missing there, but we'll be there as well. And uh, with the VIP dinner meetup holding court, then fanatics fest and Long island, uh, both VIP dinner meetup, holding court, speeches, interviews, etc back to Sofi stadium. We got a deal with Messi. We'll be there in Miami with Miami FC and a VIP dinner with Messi afterwards. And then London, uh, with Sandy and Duja, Kishore Lula, the private member private investor group in London and that mastermind VIP dinner etc. And I think the last thing on that tour we go to Breckenridge in Colorado, uh, for fairways to fortune, me and Virgil Herring, a writer, cup of wine with a VIP dinner meetup holding coordinate interviews as well at the finale, the last uh, high end resort there in Breckenridge, Colorado. That's our schedule. Uh, that's how you get to 200 cities a year. Uh, if you want to be informed and invited. Not obligated, just invited. 949 is the area code. 2, 9, 8. The next three numbers, 2905. We will keep you informed and invited. Believe it or not, that's how I stay informed and invited. Let's get to our first guest. I never know who's going to be on the show, so I am excited. This is one of my brothers. This guy is world famous, a global keynote speaker. Uh, his journey, his storytelling capability is off the charts. Companies, organizations, schools, everybody wants a piece of our friend. The Hollywood producer himself, Saul Blinkoff. Welcome to office hours episode 902.

Speaker B: What's uh, up, brother? Good to see you and meet Your. Your boys here. Meet the brothers. That's awesome.

Speaker C: Exactly.

Speaker A: This is the three Middle Aged White man series. Uh, very non politically correct, but we do our best not to get canceled. Um, meanwhile, uh, to that end, it's so nice. There's, like, three different ways people have relationships today. One is watching your videos, your pictures, and all that stuff, which I love. Uh, two is like this virtual conversation, and then my favorite is in person. You, uh, work in all three realms quite a bit. Uh, you're a Hollywood filmmaker, especially a great storyteller. Um, is there a different technique, though, to the videos I see of Saul? Uh, these virtual interviews and virtual experiences that I see Saul. That are live but virtual.

Speaker B: And.

Speaker A: And then the real Saul, the global keynote speaker on the big stages.

Speaker B: So the question is, who the hell is Saul?

Speaker A: Or anybody. Or anybody. Any one of three of us. Because we all work in the same realm.

Speaker B: That's right. Well, look, I'll say this. Um, first of all, there are times when my teenagers don't want me to be keynote speaker dad. You know, they just want me to be dad.

Speaker D: Yeah.

Speaker B: And there's times where I'll be, like, sharing something at our table, and I stand up like, oh, Dad's standing up again. He's got the room. Um, yeah, look, I'll say this. It doesn't matter if I'm working in filmmaking, keynote speaking, a zoom like this, it doesn't matter. All of it is the same to me. It's. Stories make an impact, and at the end of the day, an audience member must, in order for that story to engage them, there must be a, uh, place where the audience can relate to the main character, period. You know, whatever movie you love, whatever story you love. You know, Karate Kid, it's not about some kid that wants to be great at karate, because if it was, it would only appeal to people that want to be great at karate. It's a story about a kid that wants to fit in and, you know, who wants to know, uh, you know, who wants to fit in? All of us do. It has to be primal. So that's the first thing. It has to be where every time I'm speaking, sharing anything and any story that I'm telling, I want to find a way to get an audience member, no matter the age, no matter where they're from, to be able to relate. And at the end of the day, I found personally that the way that I do it that is most effective is getting into the emotions. You know, everybody. I don't care who you are, Jeff. Bezos has some pain in his life. Every single person. There's, uh, an interview from Oprah years ago, and she said something so profound, I never forgot. She says, I've interviewed everyone in the world. Obama, uh, Tom Cruise, there's Steven Spielberg. There's no successful person that I haven't interviewed. And then she continues and says, and at the same time, when the camera goes off, every single one of those people looks at me and they say the same thing. Did I do okay? Is that what you wanted? Nobody's perfect. Every single person in the world has a pain point. And that's my goal, is to be able to share certain ideas with people, to be able to relate to their pain point and then give them the empowerment to overcome belief into breakthrough.

Speaker A: That's beautiful. And saw if you took the number of speeches you and I have given globally.

Speaker B: Yeah.

Speaker A: It still won't equal the number of speeches that Blaine Bartlett has given globally. Not just because he's ancient, but literally because he's that successful. Blaine, what are you thinking?

Speaker E: Uh, I'm thinking, uh, the idea of story. What I'm hearing you say saul. And I love. I love the way that you're positioning. This is. Every audience member at some point in the story has to find a way to become a cast member.

Speaker F: That's it.

Speaker E: And that's my job as a speaker, as a leader, is to have my. My people find their role in my story that I'm telling. So how do you. How do you. One. One takeaway that, uh, the audience can actually work with. What would you suggest?

Speaker B: Well, the takeaway that I offer that I think is the most important is very simple, and you can actually see it beautifully in the Disney movie the Lion King, which, by the way, was, uh, the most successful animated film bf before Frozen. Okay, so in that movie, that movie wasn't so successful because everyone loves movies and stories about lions. No, it has nothing to do with lions. That movie, movie gives a profound idea on what real success is. If you ask people, what is success? Most people, 99 of the world will tell you the same thing. Success is defined by. By money. This is a successful person. He's got money, she's got money. And one of the things I speak about a lot is not being successful at making a living, but successful at making a life. And what you see beautifully in the movie the Lion King is what is leadership? What is kingship? What does it mean to be great? Simba thinks living in Hakuna Matata, a life of no worries. That's what I want. That's optimal. It's beautiful. It's lush. There's a waterfall. Sleeps in a hammock. Hangs out in Jacuzzi. No responsib. He's living the life. And by the way, that's the life that every single person who's successful wants to live. If I have enough money, you know what? I can do whatever the hell I want. And that's exactly what Simba has. And at the end of the movie, Nala shows up and reminds him, dude, don't you understand? Your uncle's taken over everything and you're responsible. And he's like, hakuna matata. I'm, um, staying right here. And she leaves him. He's left alone. Rafiki comes, hits him on the head. He looks up to the clouds, sees Mufasa, his father. And his father utters the words, remember who you are. And then Simba goes back and defeats Scar. And in that message, remember who you are. That message is not just for Simba. It's for all of us. We all need to tap in and remember who we are, what our potential is. And it's really one thing. Greatness is defined with a singular mindset to take responsibility for the world, to wake up and say, what unique pain, trauma, passions do I have that make up my life? And how do I harness that in order to impact humanity? It's all about living a life not of happiness, because that's usually contingent on outside experiences. I get more money. I get another speaking stage. Yeah, I'll be happy if I meet my soulmate. No, go for something sweeter. And that is a life of meaning. And a life of meaning is, can I impact humanity? And by the way, you want to change the world, Impact one person, just one.

Speaker C: Well, I know. I know. Now what I am going to do in all of my leadership training is

Speaker E: going to be required.

Speaker C: Watching of, uh, the Lion King for sure.

Speaker B: Right, Right. Look, movies are so powerful. I tell people all the time, if you watch a movie and you love it, you know Shawshank Redemption, you know the theme of that movie? Get busy living or get busy dying. If you turn off that movie, especially if you're a man for the hundredth time, and all you do is think to yourself, I like that movie. You've wasted your time. The goal has to be, how do I experience a story in a powerful movie? And take that theme. Get busy living or get busy dying. Oh, okay. Where in my life am I? In Shawshank? Where am I? In a prison? Where I am? Where Do I let my outside experiences define me? You know the movie Wicked, Defying gravity. Where is gravity holding me down? Where am I holding myself down? Jerry Maguire. Talk about Meltzer Storm. Jerry Maguire. You watch that movie, it's awesome. And if you leave that movie, you're like, show me the money. You missed it. That movie is one thing. How do I take my convictions when everyone tells me I'm making a mistake and I do what I think is wrong, right? And then how do I apply that to my life? That's the power of stories.

Speaker C: Yeah, for sure. For sure.

Speaker A: You better call Saul if you want to move. Company organization. The man can tell the story. He, uh, lived it himself first as, uh, he lived his dream working for DreamWorks, working for Walt Disney Animation, Netflix. He is a dynamic presenter, if you didn't notice. Cinematic story style. He, uh, can move you, uh, and he uses a little bit of that animation skill while he talks, walks the walk. Please promise me, Saul, we got so much going on in Southern California. I know you are in your 200 cities while I'm in mine, but we would love to have you back, uh, in one of our studios, in one of our venues, on one of our stages. The incredible Saul Blinkoff. Moving us here on episode 902 or so of Office Hours. Send my love to your wife.

Speaker B: Will do. Love you guys. Thank you.

Speaker A: Great job, man.

Speaker C: Thanks.

Speaker B: Now, at McDonald's, get an $8 McChicken or a $9 McDouble FIFA World cup meal deal. They come with small fries, a soft drink, four piece McNuggets and one of nine legendary cups at participating McDonald's for

Speaker F: a limited time while supplies last.

Speaker B: All rights reserved.

Speaker F: 2026, McDonald's at FIFA World Cup 2026.

Speaker A: We are rocking and rolling as always. I saw Kevin Trudeau scoop in here. Number one New York Times best selling author. We don't get that very often. We got a whole bunch of USA Today and Amazon bestsellers. But those real authors like Rep Power and Blaine Bartlett, we all respect someone. That's a number.

Speaker F: The audio. I can't hear you guys.

Speaker A: Oh, no, I can.

Speaker F: I can hear. Okay, Blaine. I can hear Blaine.

Speaker E: Okay, this is good.

Speaker F: Okay, I can't hear you, David.

Speaker C: All right, we got.

Speaker F: I can. I can hear Rhett.

Speaker C: All uh, right.

Speaker A: Can you hear me?

Speaker F: No, no, still can't hear. David.

Speaker A: Go ahead, Blaine, introduce him.

Speaker F: Oh, no.

Speaker E: Huh?

Speaker C: Uh.

Speaker E: Did you get it, Kevin?

Speaker F: Your wish is not my command. I. I get my wishes to hear.

Speaker A: David, can you hear me?

Speaker F: Although I love you, Blaine, and I Love you, Rhett.

Speaker D: Oh, no.

Speaker A: Can you hear me now?

Speaker F: I can hear you now. I can hear.

Speaker D: All right, cool.

Speaker E: Okay.

Speaker A: All right, I will get back on it then. We were talking about, uh, being a number one New York Times bestseller. I said, we get plenty of USA Today or the Amazon best selling subcategory authors out there, which is an accomplishment of sorts. But all three of us being accomplished authors, know and respect and honor number one New York Times best selling author like Kevin Trudeau, uh, in his book from last September, your wish is your command, how to manifest your desires. Obviously aligned with a lot of books that we've written. Napoleon Hill is chairman of Napoleon Hill Institute. The, uh, uh, I think seminal personal development manifester himself. Uh, but I want to touch on one of the words in your title because I think a lot of people misinterpret manifestation because they don't understand the word command. Um, there's the ten Commandments. Uh, and as far as I know, the word command means to work with. It's completely different than demand. Uh, and I think a lot of people misinterpret in the majesty of manifestation. The missing secret to me of manifestation, in the definiteness of purpose that Napoleon Hill talks about is commandments and working with, uh, the universe. Not sitting high at home dreaming about your Ferrari sick and broke all the time. Uh, I see a lot of manifestors doing that. Uh, how important is it to understand and to utilize with intention the word command?

Speaker F: Well, you hit the nail on the head because the reason we put the word manifest actually in the title, because it's googled so much.

Speaker A: So you hear about Imagine my title of my book. Kevin.

Speaker F: Yeah, no, I love it. I love it, absolutely love it. But we hear the word manifest all the time. We hear attract success. But look, you and I, you know, about the same age when we grew up and we were listening to guys like Jim Rohn and Zig Ziglar, who was a good friend of mine, and Les Brown and Earl Nightingale, the great motivational speakers and reading the older books by, of uh, course, Napoleon, the great Napoleon Hill. We didn't use the word manifest or attract, if you remember. We use the word create. The life you want, build wealth. And we were taught how to set a goal and attain it. Set a goal and attain it. It wasn't about sitting back and manifesting. It was actually the act of creating. We actually love the act of creating. If you have a little kid, a little boy or a girl, and you're at the beach, they don't say I want to manifest a, uh, sand castle. They say, I want to build a sandcastle. It's the act of building that gives us the joy. That's why the phrase the journey is the reward is so true. So today when we use the word manifest or attract success, it really almost gives a person a misnomer or a delusion that they just sit back and the universe is going to present things to them. But if we changed it and said, I'm going to create the life I want, I'm going to build wealth or build a business or build an amazing future or build an amazing life, or I'm going to set a goal and attain it, all of a sudden we're in command of our life. We're in charge of our life. We're the master of our own destiny. If it is to be, it's up to me, is the old phrase that we used to say. And yes, you have to get your mindset correct so that the universe is your co creator. But, uh, you do have to get involved in the action. So much so that if you really love to do something at midnight, you're in your workshop tinkering on your toy train or something because you love it so much and your wife says, when are you coming to bed? You have to wake up at 5 o' clock in the morning and you're going, don't worry, honey, I'll be in bed soon. Because you're so motivated and inspired to do the action and you're loving the process so much and you can't wait to get out of bed in the morning to start again. And this is the difference between what we're teaching. I think people today versus what you and I have probably done. And we know in our life, when we make, you know, billions of dollars, you know, my Companies have generated 25 billion in business. You know, my books have sold almost 100 million copies. You know, that number one book that went number one on the New York Times list was number one on the New York Times List 26 weeks in a row. It was the best selling book in all of America in hardback the year it came out, sold almost 50 million copies that year. So a guy came to the door, he was at the wrong address, he was looking to repo a car, he's at the wrong address. And I walk out and he goes, you're Kevin Trudeau. I have your book.

Speaker A: I love that. It's so nice. Uh, I will tell you, Blaine Bartlett and I kind of formulated training, uh, for Napoleon Hill on Wednesday this week about, uh, this formula of results. And it was, you know, our thoughts create perception. Perception, meaning. Meaning behavior. And a lot of people missed that formula of results. And one of the other inhibitors, I'm sure is that there's usually no evidence or the evidence is contrary when we're doing the right things and having the right behavior that we're going to get there. And so there's an element of faith within the commandments of manifestation. Blaine, you led me to Transformational Leadership Council to the people that all were in the movie the Secret, introduced me to the Bob Proctors and the Jack Canfields and the Mary Morrissey's, the OGs, the Les Browns of the world. Um, cannot wait to introduce you to Kevin.

Speaker E: Kevin, it's a pleasure to meet you. Absolutely. I've known about you for a long time, for sure. You know, uh, I love the title of the book here and I love this conversation around manifestation. Um, for this reason it's impossible for me to not be manifesting. I'll just start with that. I'm always manifesting. And the distinction that uh, we, uh, mark out here about what am I building, that takes the manifestation conversation into a very specific and pragmatic position. I'm always manifesting. Am I manifesting what I desire? That's a different question. And that's where the commandment comes in and the idea of language. Language both creates and reflects reality and how I speak to myself. And this is where head of mentals, you know, Rhett's book comes into play very strongly. I'm continuously talking to myself and, and it gets outpictured. And what I'm dealing with is the outpicturing of this internal conversation.

Speaker F: Exactly.

Speaker E: With the work.

Speaker F: Go ahead.

Speaker E: I was gonna say with the work that you do with it. But your books and as well as, you know, just, you know, kind of the interpersonal work that you do with clients, um, how difficult do you find it? I've got my own answer for this, but how difficult do you find it to get people to, uh, step into the idea that, number one, I'm always manifesting. I can't. Not so kind of demystifying that and then targeting them, moving them to saying what am I wanting to build and am I willing to step into what it takes to build what I say I want?

Speaker F: Well, you know, I'm not a motivational speaker and I'm really not a sales trainer or manifesting trainer. I built businesses around the world. I had three TV networks in Europe, manufacturing operations in Australia. I did close to 25 billion in sales before I actually gave a lecture. And people forced me, hey, you know, you, you were born on the wrong side of the tracks. You never went to college, you had a speech impediment, you stuttered, you're tongue tied, you're, you know, all these, all these issues, but you still made all this m money without connections or money or education. How did you do it? What's the trick? And I basically learned the formula. I didn't invent or create anything. I didn't discover anything. I just applied a 40 point algorithm, which is virtually all the puzzle pieces of success. I applied it, I fine tuned it and it worked. And then I started teaching some people and about 200 people became multimillionaires. And that's when they said, you really need to express this and share with others. So one of the things is, I really don't try to convince anybody. A guy told me years ago, Les Brown's a good friend of mine, by the way, and I think it was

Speaker A: him that told me.

Speaker F: He said, kevin, don't try to make a pig sing. You waste your time and annoy the pig. So at the end of the day, I tell people, look, if you want to get involved and do this, if you want to, if you understand the power that you have, good. And if you're challenging everything, you know, good luck, you know, really good luck. Because one of the things that people miss and this book kind of covers things that aren't in other books. Here's an example. You guys know Jim Rohn, of course. Jim Rohn, as you know, trained Tony Robbins. And he was the sweetest guy in the world, if you ever knew him. Spent a lot of time with him. He was the nicest person I've ever met. I mean, really nice guy. Same on stage as well as backstage. But he said something that had every jaw drop in the room. First time he said it, he said the number one emotion m you have to have if you want to create success in your life is disgust. He said, you have to have something in your life that disgusts you. You have to have something in your life that you will not tolerate anymore that pisses you off, that just gets you so mad. And we hear all this talk about walking around life being grateful and thankful and appreciative and there's a place for that. But if you get in your crappy car and you go, thank you God, thank you universe for this crappy car, I'm so grateful, thankful and appreciative. Why do you think the universe is going to give you the opportunity to get something better. You got to get pissed off and disgusted. Now, you don't live there. You don't live in that horrible state and that negative state. But from there, when you contract the energy, that's the point that you can do what Napoleon Hill said, clearly define your dream and get a burning desire for its achievement. So how do you get that burning desire? And how do you clearly define what you want? It starts with knowing what you don't want and really be disgusted with it. So we cover things where I cover things in that book you Wish is yous Command that really are practical. In other words, here's the step. It's not esoteric. I was at a conference down in Florida. They had me come in and they had all these manifesting gurus out there. And I was looking, and my buddy came up to me and he says, you know, your net worth is like 10 times the entire combined group here. You know, uh, do they really know what they're talking about? And I said, well, they have a lot of good information. So they all talked. And then I asked the group, I said, you know, how many people have read a lot of books on manifesting? Everyone raises their hand. And I said, how many people here, by show of hands and be honest, have your specific goals written down on a piece of paper? Like, three people raised their hand. And I says, well, good luck on trying to achieve your goal. You don't even know what it is. You haven't really focused on it. You haven't made a decision. Success is a decision away. You gotta actually write your goals down. You have to focus on it, and you have to go out there and get it. You have to make it happen. If you just think you're gonna smile and just walk around going, oh, everything's beautiful and love, yeah, you know, you're gonna have a nice, wonderful life. You're gonna feel good, but you're really not going to achieve the success that you really claim that you desire.

Speaker D: Spot on.

Speaker A: So smart.

Speaker C: That is so good. That is so good. You're speaking my language. Uh, Kevin, I. I am so guilty of the grind, right? And I, I. What is your. I mean, I know you talk about it in the book. Getting, you know, sort of breaking free, free of this, um, culture or this mentality that I've got to grind, grind, grind to be successful. Talk about that a little bit.

Speaker F: Well, people always say, and, you know, look, Zig Ziglar was a motivational speaker, a good friend of mine. We Traveled together. And he's, I think, said it best. He says, you don't pay the price for success, you pay the price for failure. I, uh, thought that was really, really smart because you don't grind your way to success. You enjoy the journey. The journey is the reward. If you are in alignment, if your self image is at a certain point and it is in alignment with what you want, you are going to be motivated and inspired. You're going to wake up early, go to bed at night tired instead of bored. You're going to wake up excited instead of tired. You're going to have inspiration and motivation. And you are never going to feel like you're grinding or working. You're going to feel like you are doing things that you absolutely love to do. And you wish there was more hours than today because you enjoy it so, so much. So there is no grind for success. People who are successful, you got to look at Steven Jobs, Elon Musk. Go back in the old days to some of the older fellows. W. Clement Stone, who I knew here in Chicago. These guys work 12, 14 hours a day, but they didn't work a day in their life. They loved and enjoyed the, the, the activity of building their sandcastle.

Speaker C: You know, we're using the wrong language then. I mean, because it is, it is fun, right?

Speaker F: It is, it's fun. It's enjoyable. Again, that kid who's on the beach all day long building a sandcastle doesn't say, I'm grinding, dad, I'm grinding. I'm grinding to build a sandcastle. Can't wait till it's over. That's not what he says. He's enjoying every minute of it. Even though it's time and effort. I see people go skiing. Talk about effort. They wake up early, they put on this Thurman Munster outfit. They get out there in the freezing cold, slide. They slide down an ice covered mountain and they're having a ball. I go fishing. That's what my thing is. I wake up at 4 o' clock in the morning. I'm not grinding. I can't wait to get out of bed. I can't wait to hit that. You know, you get that walleye on and you're not working, you're just enjoying it. It's like, let's go out after dinner, let's go out some more. That's light. You know, we're in northern Canada, there's plenty of light. We can fish till 11 o' clock tonight. Yeah, let's do it. So that's what success is. If you're in alignment, if you're the image you have of yourself, which, as you know, psycho cybernetics, the original one by Dr. Maxwell Maltz, talked a lot about that. If you have that image of yourself and it is in alignment with your dream, with your goal, with what you want now, you are going to feel like Superman. And here's the best part. You are feeling now as if you would feel if you actually had what you want. The state doesn't change. You're not in this point. Most people walk around and they say, I, when I get into that relationship of my dreams, then I'll be happy. When I pay off, uh, all my credit cards, then I'll be happy When I make this much money, then I'll feel powerful and good. It's never going to happen. You have to feel that way now, regardless of whether you have it or not. Which leads to the real secret, which is releasing attachment to the outcome. All successful people, when they're trying to build something, they all basically have the same feeling, you know, and if it doesn't happen, uh, it's okay. So they released attachment to the outcome. Therefore, they have no fear of not attaining it. And they're enjoying the process whether or not they actually attain it. But guess what? Because they don't have fear of not attaining it, they actually attain more of what they actually want anyway or, or

Speaker A: better in the enjoyment, consistent, persistent pursuit of their potential. It's the wisdom as knowledge is becoming more of a commodity that Kevin Trudeau has given us for years. Taken from the greats as he listed them out. And his success speaks for itself, whether as an author, speaker, coach, or of course, uh, an unbelievable entrepreneur. Kevin, all I ask is you come back. These boys, these boys are going to be dying to have you on their shows. I want to have you on my tv, uh, as well, uh, and whenever we're in Chicago, if that's sometimes where you hang out, still, we'd love to get together in person. An incredible American, Kevin Trudeau. Keep commanding all your wishes to come true. Thanks for helping everyone. Millions around the world do the same thing. Please promise us you'll come back.

Speaker F: Absolutely. 100. I would just tell people, don't let anyone steal your dreams. You can do it.

Speaker A: I love it. You never will over achieve your own self image. And if you want to increase your self image, go to Kevin Kudrow, the official Kevin Trudeau. Check, uh, him out there or Kevin Trudeau dot com. Thanks again. We'll see you soon.

Speaker F: Thanks.

Speaker A: Well, we're Two for two for Global Legends. And, uh, Doug's not gonna disappoint us as well. Co founder of Prison for Peace, distinguished fellow of the International Academy of Mediators. Kevin. I'm sorry, Doug. No. Thank you for your patience. Come join us on episode 902 of Office Hours. How you feeling?

Speaker D: I'm doing well today. How are you guys doing?

Speaker E: Could not be better.

Speaker A: Amazing. You know, um, we. We just finished, uh, season 11 of Office Hours in Las Vegas, and Chris Voss joined us. Uh, and, uh, his book, uh, never Split the Difference, I think. Yeah, great. But having him in person. Myself. And we had Mel, owns the Golden Bachelor. Uh, we got the Golden Bachelor melons in their lawyer. We had Marie Diamond. Most people don't know him. RE diamond, lawyer, uh, as well. So it was quite a crew talking to Chris Voss, um, and understanding all the nuances of mediation and, uh, understanding peace or ease or reduction of conflict. Uh, are there for you any simple ways to explain how we can come to a mutual accord instead of creating more conflict, more separation, more of what we don't want?

Speaker D: Yeah. It comes down to two words. You feel. So, uh, when anybody gets snippety at you or angry with you or gets in your face, you say you feel really angry, you're frustrated, you don't feel heard right now, you don't feel appreciated or supported, and you feel really anxious and upset. And when you do that, you're going to calm their brains down automatically. They cannot not calm down, because that's how our brains are hardwired. There's some amazing science around that. And that is the secret. It's the foundational skill of life. It's the foundational skill that everybody should master to stop fights and arguments forever in their lives. And we've acid tested this for 10 years in maximum security prisons with the Prison of Peace Project. Uh, I've trained senior analysts at the Congressional Budget Office how to de escalate members of Congress and staff. I mean, it works everywhere.

Speaker A: Can you sit down with our president?

Speaker D: I won't. I refuse to. If I were asked, I would not do it. I don't deal with unethical people.

Speaker A: I'm with you. But it certainly would help him to understand.

Speaker D: I don't think so. I think he's got a personality disorder that would make it impossible for him to master these skills.

Speaker A: I love it. Well, I very rarely go, uh, to this, but I agree with you wholeheartedly. Blaine Bartlett. What are you thinking?

Speaker E: I'm very interested here in conflict resolution and mediation. Not that they're separate, but they're literally, uh, labeled separately. And what. Yeah. The bridge that I'm interested in exploring with you, Doug, is the idea of BATNA best alternative. Negotiated alternative M. Yeah. In a conflict resolution, take peace in the Middle east as an example or a prison situation where you're wanting to de. Escalate. How and where does batna, as a methodology or as an outcome actually, uh, come into play?

Speaker D: So you got two terms, BATNAS and watnas, right?

Speaker E: Yes.

Speaker D: Best alternative to negotiated, uh, agreement. And the worst alternative to negotiated agreement. That kind of analytical process comes way down in the process. Typically you're walking into a situation where people would rather shoot each other with AK47s than talk. And. And the bulk of the work is getting people to calm down, to get. Basically, uh, we have to come in and we have to regulate nervous systems. We've got dysregulated nervous systems. Prefrontal cortex is offline. People are highly reactive, highly impulsive. They're not thinking. They just spit out whatever comes to their mind. And that's what creates the chaos and the conflict. So what we have to do is rein that in primarily by recognizing and naming their emotional experience, which will automatically calm them down. And then once they're calm, we can engage in a continuum of different processes from a simple question like how do you think we should solve this problem? To what are your interests, goals, needs and desires here that need to be satisfied with this conflict to go away? The BATNA WATNA analysis comes as solutions are developed and people have to measure the possibilities against what happens if they don't make an agreement. And so that. So that's why it's an important analytical process. But it doesn't happen until much, much later in a mediation or a peacemaking situation.

Speaker E: So you got to get the horse in front of the cart.

Speaker D: That's exactly right.

Speaker E: And calm the horse down.

Speaker D: Uh, that's right. You don't need to have that horse pulling that wagon down the road at 25 miles an hour and trying to make something happen. You gotta get the horse down to a walk.

Speaker E: Thank you for that.

Speaker C: So. So, Doug, I've been in an off site all week and this is. We wrapped it up yesterday. And, uh, I'm sitting here reflecting on the conversations that we had this week with the exec team. And one of the things that came up on Tuesday was we're really struggling with. And so it's an organization of about 500 for 500 people. And the chro was talking about how they'd never Seen so much conflict, uh, amongst the teams, you know, people not wanting to sit next to each other, maybe because of a political belief or sort of. All the things going on was reflect what's going on in society was reflecting in the business.

Speaker D: That's right.

Speaker C: How can we as leaders address this? Because I think we're afraid to address it. Number one.

Speaker D: Yes.

Speaker C: And number two, it's. I mean, where do you. I mean, I don't even know where to start.

Speaker E: Right.

Speaker C: What's your advice to somebody that's listening? Got this kind of thing going on. Right.

Speaker D: I'm really glad you asked that question. My fifth book's coming out in September, Simon and Schuster, called Empathy Leadership. And I answer that exact question. Uh, again, it's a foundational skill of understanding that we're working with nervous systems. We're not working with rational actors. And the mistake that we've made for so many hundreds of years is we think that people come to the workplace rationally and they don't. They come emotionally, and they come with various levels of emotional competency. And when you start to see the breakdown, people don't want to sit to each other. They're toxic triangling. You know, they're more overt fights and arguments. Their nervous systems are dysregulated. And what you as a leader have to do is, number one, recognize that dysregulation. Make sure your own nervous system is regulated so that you're not getting sucked into the emotional contagion. And then start calming people down, literally, by telling them what they're feeling. And what we found over the years is that when leaders are able to do this, they're demonstrating what is called empathy, leadership. And by simply naming what people are feeling, and the effect of that is profound, we're creating psychological safety, creating trust, creating loyalty. Everything that a leader wants from the team occurs when the leader takes the time to listen to the emotions. And that's the secret. And the thing that's so incredible about this, it's so easy to learn, so easy to master, but it's counterintuitive and counter normative. So people in, uh, the beginning. What? You gotta be kidding me. How can this work? And yet it does. Because we've got FMRI studies that show what happens when you label emotions. Boss cited the same study I rely on out of Lieberman's lab. And, uh, it's profound how it works. It's a very simple skill. You just have to adjust the way that you think about how you're interacting with the people on Your team. And for that organization, 500 people with a lot of conflict. There's nobody in that organization that really knows how to do this. And so it's just going to escalate and continue to get out of control because people are not able to regulate themselves.

Speaker E: Themselves.

Speaker D: And that's the leadership. I mean, it goes back to Heifetz, uh, you know, leadership without easy answers out of Harvard in 1996, I think. Yeah. He said the, uh, the three psychological services of a leader. To do what? Direction, focus and safety. And so the leader has to provide psychological safety. Amy Edmondson's work, Same thing. Project Aerostat. Look, Google, it showed that the only characteristic that defined the top 1% of all teams at Google was psychological safety. And that's what leaders have to learn about. And uh, I talk to leaders all the time and none of them have heard of this concept. And you don't hear any coaches talking about this either, which is kind of amazing to me.

Speaker E: Oh, I do.

Speaker D: Good for you. Good. You're in the 1%.

Speaker E: I just want to capstone this with a real quick comment if I could, David. Yeah. It strikes me the way that you're talking, Doug. Most leaders with whom the three of us work, uh, approach their, their function from a logical perspective. If I can just articulate the business case.

Speaker D: That's right.

Speaker E: Communication is not logical. Communication is biological.

Speaker D: That's right, exactly.

Speaker E: You know, if it can appreciate that there's a biology involved that opens up a completely different domain for exploration.

Speaker D: That's right. You can't logic somebody out of, out of an argument.

Speaker A: Yeah.

Speaker D: I mean, you can't logic them out of conflict. You can't logic them out of their emotions.

Speaker A: It just doesn't analyze or analyze a lot of emotion as well. So, uh, he's making a case for leadership, empathy, done it for years. We have been blessed today with three legendary guests and we will have them all back. Doug Knoll, you can reach him and can't wait for his new book, dougnol.com the Master Mediator. Prison for Peace. And uh, you can see why he's a distinguished fellow of the International Academy of Me of Mediators. Let us know how you feel and we can get an appreciation for our differences. Doug Noel, promise us you'll come back. We got many more shows for you and much more time.

Speaker D: Anytime. David.

Speaker A: Thank you so m much.

Speaker D: Thank you guys.

Speaker A: Always invited. Thank you. All right, gentlemen, uh, we did it again without getting canceled. The three middle aged men showing up every Thursday for episode 902. Congratulations. Uh, and we even got a little bit political there. I like that. Uh, that's okay. Uh, more importantly, uh, you know, it's real easy to fall into the trap of intellectual entertainment. Especially here on offer us hours because we provide intellectual entertainment. But one of the reasons I do takeaways is so that people actually get intentional about the intellectual entertainment and take something away to use. So it's important to me for you two to give me your takeaways of the day so other people think about theirs or maybe steal ours. Either way, we all win. Um, Mr. Blaine Bartlett, what's your takeaway of the day?

Speaker E: I'm gonna go with what I just capstone things with you. Communication is a biological, not a logical process. I mean, what if it's going you. Right, right. You ah, directly back to Saul Story movie. It's. It's all emotion. Yeah, It's. There's a biology involved. Yeah. Kevin's work is, you know, the whole thing that he is organized around is connecting. Yeah, yeah. Inspiration. Not motivation, inspiration. Get the biology involved here. And then, you know, with, with Doug, you know, just absolutely the articulation of the way that he works, you know, with his clients and with, you know, situations that are just, you know, it's kind of. Are you kidding me? Yeah. Communication isn't logical. It's a biological process. I need to get that horse that's in front of the cart. Calm down.

Speaker A: Love it. Mr. Rhett.

Speaker C: I am going to use the Lion King in my leadership training. I'm going to figure out some way to incorporate that because I do think that is a leadership. I mean that's such a great leadership.

Speaker E: Uh,

Speaker C: um, the way he talked about it in terms of just, you know, it's a great leadership lesson and um, a way to sort of think about leading and living. So anyway, yeah, that was my big takeaway. Kind of comical but funny, but.

Speaker A: No, it's beautiful. And mine is commandments. You know, make sure you know Your non negotiable 10 Commandments of what you're wanting to work with God, your God in your divine direction. And understanding what a commandment is, uh, to be intentional, to pay attention to what you say, what you do, what you think, what you feel as discussed today and what you believe is Napoleon Hill teaches as well. What you pay attention to and what you give intention to will equal the coincidences, the coinciding of your commandments and everything desire. I'm blessed to command with my two commanders. Blaine Bartlett. Blaine bartlett.com Moving possibilities into reality. And the head of Mental Commander himself, Rhett Power. Thank you for joining me on Office Hours, episode 902 or more. Uh, we appreciate both you guys. See you next week. God bless you both. All right, ladies and gentlemen, I also would love to give a shout out to my team. Um, think about the guests that we had today. They will compare to the late night shows that you see, uh, on, you know, John Oliver and Jimmy Kimmel and all the greats. Uh, our guests will hold up to all of them. These are world famous thought leaders, uh, that are pouring in. Billionaires, millionaires, entrepreneurs, celebrities, athletes and entertainers that have a desire that they must be what they can be. And somehow my team not only gets them on the show, but coordinates them, all three to show up when we want them to show up. Uh, quite an achievement. Nothing would make or does make me prouder, uh, than seeing the results, uh, that the teamwork that makes our dreams work at Office Hours episode 902. So shout out to my team, thank you so much for making Blaine and Rhett especially look good. Obviously it's easy for me. Just kidding. You're either humble or you're about to be, especially making me look good. I, uh, appreciate all of you so, so much. Just as a quick reminder, we're on the road starting right now. Chicago, Newport Beach, Las Vegas, uh, with summer league Philadelphia, uh, for a major league baseball star game. New York City for two different occasions. But fanatics, uh, Fest, SoFi Stadium, Miami FC with Messi, the private networking, private member group, the private investors in Mayfair in London and of course finishing up in Breckenridge at the finale. For the finale, 200 cities a year. If you want to be invited or informed, text or listen to the Jingle, then text 949-298-2905 or email me. David means beloved. D is my first initial. Meltzer means servant. Let me be your beloved servant, David at dmeltzer. Com. Remember, most importantly, here at office hours, we need to be more interested than interesting. Be kind. Be kind to your future self and do good deeds. Hit it, Gigi.