Summer Break Replay: Chynna Phillips Baldwin on Trauma Recovery and Starting a YouTube Ministry

Speaker A: Hi, everyone, I'm Taraon. Welcome to Mamatize your passion. Now, I know I say this a lot and I mean it every time, but I'm so excited about this episode. But I'm not only excited, I'm also grateful because I know that this is going to help a lot of moms who are stuck in their life's journey because of past trauma. And I wanted my next guest on because of the healing she's gone through and still going through. So on today's show, I'll be speaking with multiple platinum Grammy nominated artists, Chyna Phillips. As you know, Chyna is a member of the vocal trio Wilson Phillips. She's also the daughter of the Mamas and Papas band members John and Michelle Phillips. In 2019, Chyna fulfilled her dream of starting her own Christian YouTube channel, California Preaching. Here is where Chyna walks out her faith in an authentic and loving way. She also founded a women's ministry, California Healing. Today we're going to talk about a lot of things, but in particular we're going to talk about healing from trauma, pursuing purpose and forgiveness. So stay tuned, you do not want to miss this episode. Hi, Chyna. Welcome to the show.

Speaker B: Oh, hi, Taralon. I'm so happy to be here. And I'm so glad that I'm pronouncing your name correctly.

Speaker A: Yes, you are. I'm so excited to have you on the show. You know, I was looking back through my emails to see when I first reached out to you.

Speaker B: Yeah.

Speaker A: And I astounded myself because I saw that it was in 2019. I had no idea. I tried to interview you back then.

Speaker B: Oh, I feel so guilty. I'm so sorry. I've been, I've been, you know, a little swamped, but in a good way. Yeah. Praise the lord.

Speaker A: So in 2019, is that when you launched your YouTube channel?

Speaker B: Yes. So in, in 2019, uh, I kind of heard the Lord saying, like, YouTube, YouTube. And I was like, what? I didn't know anything about YouTube, but I kept hearing the Lord, like in my heart saying, start a YouTube channel. And so I asked my friend, I said, do you know anything about YouTube? And he said, actually, I had a YouTube channel and I can really help you launch this if you want to do it. So we together, my, my friend Tyler Wells, uh, we decided that we were going to shoot 10 episodes of California Preach. And I already had the name in my head. And so we started shooting and it was very formal. You know, we had like lights, you know, we had a prompter, teleprompter. Hair, makeup. Like, it was super formal, and I enjoyed doing it. But I noticed every single time that I started to have chronic back pain right before each time we would shoot. So I was like, lord, what is going on with this back pain? And, you know, doctors always say to you, listen to your body. The body keeps score. You know, your back is telling you something. And so I got on my knees and I just said, lord, what is going on? And this was episode nine. And, um, I didn't hear anything. It was like crickets. And so I said to Tyler, I said, tyler, I don't think I can shoot episode. Time back is hurting. I'm not feeling good about this. It was striking me out. And, um, she said, you are going to finish. You're going to finish strong. You're going to do the 10 episodes. And I said, fine. So we finished the 10th episode, and then I got back down on my knees, and I heard the Lord say to me, you completed your 10, and now I want you to strip it. Like, do not wear the makeup. Do not wear, you know, do not use the lights and the set and all of that. Just turn on the camera and tell the world about me. And I was like, oh, my gravy, what is happening here? So I was obedient, and I. I stopped using my teleprompter and my lighting, and I still wore a little bit of makeup because I'm a little bit vague. But, um, the Lord just said to me, just be authentic and just talk to people about, you know, your pain, your struggles, your grief, your hurt, your, you know, your addictions, your, um, your, um, you know, your struggles with your faith, your, um, your raw walk with God. And so that's what I started to do. And of course, it just started to avalanche, like, in the best way. People started commenting, people started subscribing. People started really gaining a lot of comfort and a lot of, um, counsel from just me being honest and just talking about where I was with God. And I didn't do it all buttoned up, and I didn't do it in a way where I was sort of being dogmatic and, like, preaching down to people. I wasn't doing that before, but I think now it was like I was just in people's living room. It was almost as if I was just a best friend talking to a best friend, you know, an intimate conversation. So that's what I think the beauty of California preaching is, is that people, just Christians, you know, non Christians, just don't feel judged there. And that's um, what I love about it.

Speaker A: Yeah, I. I love California preaching. I mean, even when I watch an episode, I know you're being very authentic. I can see how anyone going through something similar, just like one piece of trauma that you've gone through, which we'll get into, I could see how they could see, okay, there is a brighter side to this. And when you talk about your trauma, I feel like you're even smiling through it. Not because, oh, you know, I went through something so great. It's because I felt like Jesus has really helped you through it. I mean, maybe some of it you're still going through. M. You know, it's a journey, of course, but it's. You know what I mean? But you would not be able to know it by looking at your face that she went through all the things that she went through. So you just make it so authentic. You're so raw. That's why I'm so glad you're here today, because I feel like your story, the things that you've been through, are going to help a lot of people who are stuck.

Speaker B: Thank you. Well, I just always felt like I didn't fit into the Christian community. I, uh, just always felt like an outcast. And then I realized, wait a second, I'm actually in the majority. It's just that there are a lot of people who aren't being willing to talk about this kind of stuff. And so once I opened the can of worms, it was like Pandora's box. Yeah. Uh, lots of people were like, oh, my gosh. I so identify. Like, some days I just don't even feel like God's listening to me or I don't even feel like a Christian. I feel like a counterfeit. And some days I just feel like, you know, I'm. I'm being a hypocrite, you know, or, you know, it's just like. It's just. It's. It's okay. Jesus did the work on the cross. That's why. Because we are, you know, sinners, and we are, you know, broken, and we are never going to get this thing right. And once, uh. Once I was able to process that and come to terms with that, like, it's not about checking boxes for Jesus. It's about saying, my unloveliness is what's lovely to him. That's what he came down. He wanted to do that for me and for you, because he knew that we were us in a sinking ship. I mean, basically, that's it. We're all on our way to Hell, sorry. A lot of people are going to be like, but it's true. We were all in a sinking ship. And he came to rescue us. He rushed into to rescue us. And there's not one thing that we can do to help pay that debt. He's the one who paid it in full.

Speaker A: Yes, absolutely. So just to give some people listening, some context to some of the things that you've been through, I'm going to talk about some of the trauma that you've been through that you've shared on the show. So you've talked about different types of trauma on your show and some of the things that you've talked about, and correct me if I'm wrong, these are the things from what I watched that I picked up. You were abducted and molested at 12. You were groomed by a predator at 14. You were raped on your 18th birthday. You saw your dad and his wife shooting up heroin in front of you. You've been abandoned by your father, which led to drug and alcohol abuse. You've also talked about clinical depression on the show, marital challenges and your son's diagnosis with cancer.

Speaker B: Correct.

Speaker A: And I'm sure I'm leaving some stuff out.

Speaker B: Yes.

Speaker A: So for you moms listening, that's a lot of trauma to go through. There's some moms who are stuck from one piece of the trauma, but you've gone through all of that trauma, but God is still using you, and he's helping you to. He's helping you in this meaningful purpose so you can help other people.

Speaker B: It's called complex trauma. When there's layers and layers and layers and layers of trauma. Yeah.

Speaker A: So you had all this trauma. Like, when did you come to terms with, okay, I need to get help with some of this? Like, what was it? Was there a breaking point where you were like, okay, something has got to give here?

Speaker B: My healing journey began when I was about. I was 19 years old when I got sober and Alcoholics Anonymous. And then I got a therapist, and I was just on my way to recovery. Um, thank God. And then I just continued in therapy for. For many years. Uh, I, Marlene shown, God bless her heart. I mean, I. I spent a pretty penny on therapy for many, many, many a year. And I really do believe that the talk therapy, um, did help heal some of my. I mean, you could call it neurosis. I mean, it really. It was kind of like, um, you know, a situation where my trauma was so present and presented itself in. In a way that maybe some people wouldn't even notice. And that's what's scary about any type of trauma, um, or depression or anxiety. It can be masked really easily, especially with people who have been, have been um, dependent on masking it since childhood. When a child has to mask that at school, with their friends, um, and even to their own parents because it's a codependent situation and they can't let their parents know that they're hurting because then that would be a reflection on the parent and they don't want to hurt their parents feelings. It's just so layered.

Speaker A: Yeah.

Speaker B: So for many years I really had like, I had it down, you know, I really was able to pull uh, it off. I did a great acting job of letting people think I was just fine when in fact I was really suffering. I was in, you know, um, tremendous depression, anxiety and I, but I didn't even recognize it truly in myself until my therapist pointed out all of these different behaviors that I had. And the reason why I leaned into drugs and alcohol in the first place was because it was a band aid. It, it bandaged up uh, all of the trauma and it numbed me out and it made life, it made life manageable. I know that sounds counterintuitive, but it actually did make life more manageable because it numbed me out and therefore I was able to do life without feeling suicidal or feeling um, like I couldn't get out of bed.

Speaker A: Yeah, it absolutely does. Yeah. So you were 19 when you started the talk therapy?

Speaker B: Yes, yes. Kept it up for decades. Um, so yeah. I really do attribute most of my healing though to Jesus because he's the great counselor, the comforter, the, you know, the great physician. And so I really do believe that without the love of and the guidance of the Holy Spirit that I wouldn't be where I am today. Yeah.

Speaker A: Yeah. And your brother in law, is he the one that actually led you into a relationship with Jesus?

Speaker B: Well, I always, yes, but I was saved twice. Okay, so let me explain. When I was 12 years old, I was going to a Baptist school. That's a whole nother story, a whole nother testimony. But going to a Baptist school, um, it was sort of a last resort situation because the school that I was at, um, I was being severely bullied. So my, my mother ended up putting me in this Baptist school at my request. So the first day I was at that school, I was in the cafeteria and I stole a chocolate milk off of the cafeteria tray. And the next day the cafeteria girls approached me and I was like, oh no, I've been caught. I know why they're walking up to me. So I started digging into my backpack for, like, a quarter. And they're like, no, no, we don't want your money. We just want to know if you'd like to accept Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior. And I was like, now I'm really in trouble. Like, what have I done? It was so not worth stealing that chocolate milk. But, um, they said, follow us. They took me down to the girls bathroom, and, um, they gave me the salvation card. And they said, just read the words. And they cuddled around me, not onward at all. So, um, standing around me, I've got the salvation card, and I just start reading the word words. Of course, I'm not expecting anything at all to happen, but I start to feel like a holy scan from the crown of my head just go down my body. And as this scan is going down my body, I'm feeling delivered from fear, anxiety, depression, um, you know, anxiousness, um, feelings of abandonment. Like, literally, it just all started to just wash. I was being washed clean by the words that I was saying. And by the time to the end of the prayer, I literally was paralyzed by the Holy Spirit. I was paralyzed in the Holy Spirit. I couldn't. I could not get a word out. I couldn't utter one word. And the girls were like, are you okay, Jonah? And I didn't answer them, and they just started laughing and walked out of the bathroom. I just remember thinking, oh, my gosh, Jesus is real. Like, I'm on the same shelf with Santa Claus. You know, I mean, to me, Santa Claus were the same. And. And, um, yeah, so then I. But then, of course, I go home and there's, like, marijuana and drinking in the house, and there's, you know, no Bibles. And I didn't have any Christian, you know, mentors. And I just got on the wrong track. But then when I was in my 30s, Stephen Baldwin, Billy's brother, my husband Billy's brother, um, went over at our house for Super Bowl Sunday with his wife Kenya. And, um, they were praying over our nieces who were going through a very difficult time. They were teenagers at that time. And they were praying over them in the kitchen. And when I say praying, I don't mean, like, you know, heavenly Father. No, no, no. These were, like, zealous prayers with their hands and, like, little tongues going on. I think I was just like, what is going down kitchen? And. And so all I heard the, uh. All I heard the Lord say to me was, china, I want you to go into the kitchen. And I want you to say to Stephen, whatever you are doing with them, I want you to do it with me. And so that's what I did. I walked in. I. Before it, I walked in, I did a major eye roll, and trust me, I was like, are you kidding me? Because I knew there was no turning back. So I walked into the kitchen, I sat down, and, um, they started praying over me. And the exact same experience happened. And then I just. I went out to my front door, I grabbed my Buddha that was at the front door, I wrapped it in, like, a blanket and duct tape, and I threw it in the garage, you know, um, you know, I hope I'm not offending anybody who's listening to this podcast, but I knew that Jesus was the way the truth and the life and that nobody got. Would get to the Father except through him. It was like the complete and utter radical encounter where I just. The revelation that could not be denied. And so from that moment on, you know, that was about 18 years ago, 19 years ago, I just been on fire for. For Jesus. Now I've had some, you know, I've had some backsliding, and I've had some, you know, a couple of years where I really felt like my light was dimmed. And I just felt, you know, light years away from Jesus. But my heart, uh, but I've always known in my heart that he is, you know, God's done.

Speaker A: Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. Do people get tired of you talking about Jesus like your family and people around you because you are on fire? I mean, it's very apparent.

Speaker B: I don't talk about Jesus so much with my family. And only they already know where I stand. And so I'm not going to be that person that's just constantly going to be, you know, uh, ministering and preaching the gospel to my loved ones, because they already know where I stand. And I wait for the Holy Spirit's prompting. If, if the Holy Spirit sent to me, open your mouth and, and, and talk and say, um, you know, I will. I'm going to be. I'm not just going to talk about Jesus all the time and make people uncomfortable. You know, I, I would prefer to wait for the prompting of the Holy Spirit, because sometimes you can preach without words.

Speaker A: Yeah, that's wisdom. That's wisdom. What you just said. Everything you just said. So for those moms who are listening, just from your perspective, what does someone who's healed from trauma, like, what does that look like? Because there's some moms who are sitting in some things, and you Know, like I mentioned before, they're stuck there, but they need to get out of that. Like, what is that, in your opinion? What do you think that looks like?

Speaker B: You know, it's different for everybody. Um, the only wisdom that I would have on this is to not leave before the miracle. And when I say not leave before the miracle, I don't mean, like, don't kill yourself. Obviously, don't kill yourself. But, like, also, just don't give up on God. Don't give up, uh, on, uh. Because that's kind of what kept me going. I knew deep down in my heart that life was good and that God put me here for a reason and that he had a purpose for me and for my life. I mean, that's what the word says. And that if he gifts all of us, you know, and so I'm still in a very traumatized state. You may not be able to recognize that just by talking to me, but I still have a lot my work to do. And I feel like for anybody out there who's really struggling with depression, you know, I know what it feels like to be in the deep, dark night of a soul. Listen, my bottom had a basement. Like, I didn't even know my bottom had a basement. Like, I didn't know I could go that low. I didn't know that type of pain existed. I didn't know that I could feel that isolated and that alone and that sort of like, um. It's almost like when you're that depressed, you're in a different reality. You're just in a different realm. You're not even. You're in a state of mind where you literally just feel like there's 20 brick walls between you and the, uh. And another person. You just feel so alone. Um, and so my only advice. If you're not a Christian, I would, you know, I would definitely implore you to find a really great church in your area and to just be honest, just talk to somebody and say, I need to talk to somebody about, you know, my. My depression. I need to talk to somebody about the state of mind that I'm in. The thing is, is that when you're in that state, it's very hard to be your own advocate. It's really hard to stand up for yourself and make those. And do those things like get in your car, drive to the local church, uh, you know, open your mouth and explain to somebody what's going on. That alone feels so overwhelming and impossible. So really what it comes down to is a cry for help, you know, There. There's the I don't know prayer. And the I don't know prayer is like, I don't know how to do this, Lord. I don't know how to make this better. I don't know you. I don't know what I believe. I don't know how to put one foot in front of the other. So the I don't know prayer actually is something that got me through for a long time. And I would recommend it to anybody who's in a ton of pain. Because literally, when you're in that state, you can tell somebody until they're blue in the face. You can give them, oh, do A, B, C and D. But that's not what they need. They don't need to hear what they need to do. They just need to know that they're not alone and that you understand where they're at and that they're is hope there is the other side. I always tell people on Cal preach, you know, um, when you climb the mountain and you get to the peak, you're not done. You've got to turn back around before you go down that mountain and you've got knell down and say, huh? You've got to extend a, uh, hand and get somebody else out of that deep, dark mire. Because that's part of our responsibility. Makes me want to cry, but it's true. That's part of our responsibility if, you know that type of darkness is to. Is to, when you finally get out of it, to get to the peak and, uh, reach down and help somebody else get out of it.

Speaker A: That just gave me chills, that. That makes me want to cry to you even saying that, because it's so true. And that's why when I watch you on your channel and I see how you're helping so many people with what you've been through and you're pulling someone out because they need to see that someone else has been through this and they made it to the other side. So that's powerful what you said. I mean, it's powerful that you're actually walking in your purpose. A lot of people, they don't know what that is. They don't even know how to get to their purpose because they're so stuck.

Speaker B: But what's important to remember when you're, when you're in that state is that. And I always use this analogy because it's so powerful. But, you know, when a house is under construction, it looks like a war zone. You know, the walls are down and the pipes are out. And then, you know, everything is in disarray, Right? But what's happening? You're building a palace. You're building something. So God is at work right now inside of you. You know, it might look super messy and like, you know, like a construction site, but that is actually what you are right now. You are a construction site. But that's okay. There's a purpose behind that. God's going to rebuild us. God is bound. If this is his royal residence, right here, right inside. Be right inside of you. If this is true, what the Bible says, that this is his royal residence, of course he's got to do get out the bulldozer. Of, uh, course he's got to do that work. And it's going to be ugly for a little while. It's not going to be pretty. But his work is always pretty, and he always has a purpose, you know, and, uh, some people might miscontrue, misconstrue what I'm saying and think that. I'm saying that God does this on purpose to hurt us. No, God doesn't do this on purpose to hurt us. He knows we live in a broken world, and he. He's molding us into his image. But even anything that you're molding, it's going to be just, you know, just. Just kind of like a deformed piece of some nothing. You know, it's just going to look like nothing. But then he continues to mold us. It starts to take shape, right? And it's more beautiful. And then we start to feel more like ourselves, and we start to feel this new, new creation inside of us. And that's what the Bible talks about. He makes us a new creation. So it's just trusting. Trusting that he's building that new creation inside of us. And it's hard. Uh, yeah.

Speaker A: And with that comes something that's a little bit controversial, which is forgiveness. Because, you know, there may be some moms listening that need to forgive, and maybe that's holding them back. I mean, what are your thoughts about forgiving people who've hurt you?

Speaker B: I think it's really hard to forgive. It's easy to say, okay, uh, I forgive you.

Speaker A: Right?

Speaker B: But if you're not actually feeling that organically in your heart, then it's just words, right? But it's a start. So it's a start to say, I would like to be able to forgive. You know, God, please help me to forgive. It's kind of irresponsible to say, I forgive you, because I should. You know, it's like, uh, okay, but how about just. I. I'm in the process of trying to forgive. I'm in the process. I want to. I'm willing to forgive. I want to be a participant in the forgiveness, you know? And so I think that that even is just such a great start. Um, but forgiveness is a really tough one. And, you know, what happens is the more we don't forgive, the more the devil has a foothold, the more the enemy can just play games with our heart and our mind and our soul, and it's tipped his playground. So the sooner that, you know, we can start praying for the ones that have hurt us and to turn the other cheek and to, you know, even if you don't feel it in your heart, even. Last night, I prayed for somebody, and I was, like, gritting it through my teeth. My friend was laughing on the other end of the line. She was laughing because she could tell I was really struggling with this prayer. But after I was done, you know, I told the Lord. I was like, you know, that was really hard for me. Listen, he's our best friend, right? He wants to be honest with him. He doesn't want me to say, you know, oh, Lord, um, that felt so good to pray for my enemy. No. Because he knows that that's not true. It was really hard for me to do that. I didn't want to do that, But I had a mustard seed of willingness, and that's what's so beautiful about Jesus. Mustard seed. Just a mustard. Mustard seed is all you need to move that mountain. So, yeah, so last night, I prayed for somebody who was really hard for me to pray for. But when I was done, I have to say, I did feel good about doing it. It didn't feel good in the moment. But you know what's fascinating is that while I was praying, I could literally feel the ugliness. My ugliness. The ugliness that's living inside of me that I need to pray. Church. That's. That's living. When I'm unforgiving, that's living inside of me. Yeah. You know, that's not. That's not Jesus. That's not God. That's not Jesus wants in his home. So it was very interesting to me. Kind of fascinating, actually. As I was praying, I could just feel. It's like. Like a little monster coming out of me. And it's like. But that's good, because that. At least I'm. I'm repenting and I'm purging. You know, I'm being delivered yeah, that's.

Speaker A: Wow, I love that. That's a good analogy, what you, what you just said. And I also feel like, you know, our job is to be obedient. And if we don't really understand why we have to do something because we don't understand why something's good for us. Just like a child doesn't understand why they, why their parent is telling them something's good, they may not understand it until years down the road. So I read, uh, this one woman's true story, Mary C. Neal. She's a doctor. She wrote two books. I don't know if you've heard of her. She wrote, uh, To Heaven and Back and seven Lessons I Learned from Heaven. It was about a near death experience that she had. She died in a kayaking accident. She was dead for like 15 minutes. Do you remember her?

Speaker B: Yes, yes.

Speaker A: So she was pinned down for 15 minutes. She was dead. I think she was in South America. You know, they proclaimed she was dead. So during her time, she had an experience in heaven. And she said it felt like literally her spirit was peeling from her body as she went to heaven. She was in heaven. It was so wonderful. She didn't want to leave, even though she had a wonderful life with four kids. And she, you know, told about a little bit about her journey in heaven. So first of all, our thinking is not how our thinking will be in heaven. That's why we can't understand a lot of things right now because we have our limited human thinking, not on a deeper level. So when she was in heaven, she said that God showed her someone who molested her from every angle of his life. And while she was in heaven, she was able to freely forgive him. But, uh, she understood everything while she was in heaven. She said all she had to do was think about something and she understood things clearly. So we don't understand everything because our minds are limited. We just have to know. Okay, well, God, you said, I can or cannot do this. I have to obey. Because you know what's best best. Even though we may not understand it, we just have to be obedient. Uh, you know what I mean?

Speaker B: What a miracle that she had full perspective, all objectivity. She was able to see everything from every angle. And we don't everything. We live in a three dimensional world. Right. So, yeah, it was crazy.

Speaker A: I always think about her story. Yeah. And even before she left, God told her that her oldest son was going to die. So she went back to her body knowing that her son was going to die. And he did die. Actually, tragically, yeah. But because she had this beautiful experience in heaven, like, she knew what was going to await him. Even though it was very painful, of course it was very difficult. It just. It just makes me think of how limited our. Our knowledge of who God is. But we just have to be obedient.

Speaker B: Amen.

Speaker A: Yeah. But getting back to your show, China, um, you talk so openly about so many things on there, like, as I mentioned, the trauma, marriage difficulties, etc. Ever worry that you're going to offend people or people are going to cancel you because of some of the topics that you talk about?

Speaker B: I'm always people. You know, what's cool is that I came to terms with that really, really early on when I started California preaching. I was just like, china, people are going to hate on you. People are going to love you. People are going to, you know, there's going to. You're going to have the full spectrum of, you know, people just vomiting all over your YouTube channel. And you have to allow them to have their freedom of speech, and they have to be able to feel how they want to feel. And, you know, somebody very famous once said, if I can make anyone feel anything, like, that's a gift. It doesn't matter whether it's good or whether it's bad, because it makes people. People think. And I just thought that that was so cool. I thought, wow, if you can provoke people to feel on such an intense level, whether it's positive or negative, then you're doing something because you're stirring things up and making people think about things. And so I stopped judging it and I just started letting it be. Now sometimes if I get just, uh, you know, just a really ugly comment, I will delete it. Especially if it has to do with a family member, because I don't want to speak, exploit my own family on my. On my YouTube channel. You know, unless it's Billy, I'll exploit Billy anyone. But if it's, you know, like a sister or mother, my mother. If they're saying something cruel and just, you know, just really unkind, I will delete it.

Speaker A: And I love how Billy's such a good sport. I love how he comes on there. He's so supportive. I think whoever was trying to buy your show, they should have bought your show.

Speaker B: Oh, thank you. He is. And he's also in the Jesus waiting room.

Speaker A: I know. Actually, I was praying for him.

Speaker B: Thank you.

Speaker A: I was praying for him.

Speaker B: I appreciate that. Uh, yeah.

Speaker A: God hears your prayers. He does.

Speaker B: He's an incredible person. He really is.

Speaker A: He seems like it. So, China, some people may not know about. Is it a meme? Holy Spirit, activate Act. Ah. Is that called a meme or a gift?

Speaker B: Well, it went viral on TikTok, is what happened.

Speaker A: Yes, I know.

Speaker B: Went viral, TikTok, and then it became a meme and a gif. Um, but what happened was I was on, um, Celebrity Family Feud with Steve Harvey, right? Yes, and I was on with Steve. And, uh, we got to the very, very end and it was really nerve wracking because he was going to ask me rapid fire, like 10 questions and I had to answer. And if I didn't get them right, we weren't going to win. But if I did get them right, we were going to win like $100,000 to give to charity. So I was very anxious about it. And so the lights dim and Steve's like, okay, I'm going to ask you 15 questions. I was like, hold on. Holy Spirit, activate. Ah, Holy Spirit, activate. Ah, Holy Spirit, activate. Activate. Activate. All right, let's go. And then he's like, you could use that in any situation. Like, you could use that if your kid's having a meltdown. You could use that if you don't know, to make for dinner. And you could use that if you get into a car accident, like. And, and so then a church, I think in South Carolina, somebody who worked at church in South Carolina saw it and, and. And made a TikTok out of it and said, wouldn't this make a great, uh, what's it called? Oh, gosh, now I'm embarrassed. Uh, well, wouldn't know. Wouldn't this make a great sound? It's called a sound on TikTok. And so then everyone used my sound and did. There were like a half a billion videos made with Holy Spirit activated. It was so crazy. But I just want to say that there was a lot of controversy around Holy Spirit activity because people thought that I was like, you know, blaspheming God. Not at all. When my son was going through his cancer journey, he had stage four cancer. It was all over his body. And I was obviously terrified. And I mean, terrified isn't really even the word. There are no words to describe how I felt. And, um, so I walked into my bathroom one evening after I'd been in prayer, and I just felt so low. And all of a sudden, literally out of nowhere, spontaneously, I just started singing that. And I thought, you know what? That's kind of hooky in a weird way. And I thought, maybe I'll use that one. Day for something. I don't know. And so when I was on Steve Harvey, I was like, hold on. And I just sang it and it. It all worked out. It was like, so the Holy Spirit. But I was not mocking God or blasphemy God. It literally helped get me through my darkest hour with my son having cancer. And a lot of people don't know that, so. And I know Holy Spirit is always activated. It was more about me feeling the activation of the Holy Spirit, if that makes sense.

Speaker A: Yes, it was for your. It was for. For yourself, for you to activate him, not for him to be activated. Yes, that makes perfect sense. So in just getting back to your ministry, I know you have a women's ministry. What exactly does that entail?

Speaker B: Yes. So it's called California Healing. And I, uh, was able to parlay California Healing from California Preaching because I had such a large viewership that I was able to talk about it on California Preaching. And a few people initially signed up, and it was really awesome. They subscribed. And we have meetings, uh, once a week. Um, and we have Bible studies, and we have a woman out of London named Oshawa Ramsey who has a church called Place of Grace, and she does the Power Word every. Every other week they alternate from Bible study to Power Word. And then we have one person give their testimony. My favorite. We call it Jesus Journeys. Um, and we have shared time, and it's really just a community and a network of, um, ladies. You know, we do only 25 per group so that it's really intimate and you don't feel lost in the shuffle. You know, there's really, um, there's five groups right now. We have the. Underneath the umbrella of California Healing. So we have the Genesis group, and we have, ah, Revelation, and we have Victory, and we have Promises, and we're launching Sanctuary, uh, in the spring. So it's really exciting because we all connect with each other via Zoom once a week on a. On a meeting. Only your group, though. Like, each group meets once, convenes once a week, and then we have WhatsApp. And the WhatsApp thread is really cool because we stay in touch. We give each other our prayer requests. I mean, it's very active. I always tell people, turn off your notifications because it's just constantly pinning, you know, pain. And so, um, we stay in touch that way. And then we also have pray slays where we pray for one another. Uh, we pray for each other's prayer requests, and then we have Fireside chats, which is basically where we Meet on a video, WhatsApp, and we just casually catch up and get to know one another. And there's cross pollination too, because every morning we have something called a word feast. And it's not obligatory, but we like, it's. You know, if you want to, you can get on every morning at 8am and read the word with us out loud, which is extraordinarily powerful. And we read 15 minutes out of the old, and then 15 minutes out of the New Testament, and then we. We do a half hour of reflection. So that's a really, really powerful way to start your day. And. Yeah, uh, yeah, and. And it's really cool because somebody from Revelation will get to know somebody from Genesis and somebody from Victory. We'll get to know somebody from Promises. And so, yeah, we have one lady, Sandra Yates, and she's out on a, you know, a calheel tour right now. Like, literally, she's in her car and she's driving through the States and meeting people from California Healing. We're going strong. We're over 100 ladies now. And, um, you can follow us at California Healing official on Instagram and also, uh, my website, California Healing.

Speaker A: Com. And can anyone join the group?

Speaker B: Yes.

Speaker A: Oh, anyone can join. Okay. Oh, that's awesome. Yeah. And just as we wind down the conversation, China now, what would you say to a mom listening who has passions that she wants to pursue, but she feels stuck in life and she's just not doing it? Like, would you have any words of encouragement or. I mean, I know there's different layers to that woman's journey, but just that you can think about.

Speaker B: Most success stories are, uh, people who have felt extraordinarily stuck. They are stuck. I mean, you hear it all the time. I was lost. I was broken. I, you know, I had an eating disorder. I was getting a divorce. Uh, my son got sick. Uh, you know, I had autoimmune issues. I had surgery, you know, whatever. Um, and it's. It's out of that wreckage that they're able to have something that is very relatable, to be able to connect with another person. So if you're in that place, hallelujah. I'm not. I'm not happy for your pain and your discomfort. But what I am excited for you about is that don't underestimate, don't minimize this time of your life, in this season of your life, because it's this season that from it will emerge, you will unearth such a beautiful, unexpected miracle. So just hold on for one more day. But I'm absolutely serious. Like, you're going to reflect and you're going to look back on this time that you're, you're so stuck. And you're going to say, if I hadn't been in that state space, I wouldn't be where I am today. And as cliche as that might sound, it's the absolute truth. So I would say just maybe document, if you can, what you're going through and how you're feeling, whether it's through video, whether it's on paper, you know, and it's not writing a book. It's just, it could become a book one day, certainly. But it's really just about documenting it because trust me, you're going to be very happy that you kept, you know, that you sort of journaled and kept, um, tabs on how you're feeling day to day. And honestly, that's what stirs people. That's what, when you're able to get to a place where you can actually verbalize and articulate in a way that is really raw and meaningful to another person, that is going to light a fire that is going to ignite the other person on the other end. So God is doing this for a reason. There's a purpose behind it. There is a purpose. There is a purpose. There is a purpose. You know what, what the devil meant to harm you is going to be for good. God is going to turn it to good.

Speaker A: That was so beautifully said. Thank you so much for being here today, China. This was such a blessing. Now, where can people find you if they want to know more about you? And also your YouTube channel and your women's ministry.

Speaker B: Yes. So the women's ministry is called California Healing with, you know, just the in, ah, no ing. And you can follow us on Instagram at, uh, California Healing official. And then you can also go to my brand new website, California healing. It's CaliforniaHealand.com and then we also have California preaching.com so you can go to either of those sites and you'll get all the information you need to join my women's ministry if you're interested in subscribing. And then also I pray that you will subscribe to California Preaching. We're all just walking each other home on California Preaching. It's a safe place to land your plane and to, you know, be able to get a community with other ladies and men. I mean, California, the YouTube channel is for men and women, but California Healing is ladies only.

Speaker A: Hey, moms, thanks for listening today. I hope you were inspired by this episode. If this show blessed you in any way, or if you found a strategy to help monetize a passion of yours, then I would love to hear from you. By way of an encouraging review, this podcast is meant to be a blank blessing to mothers, so any positive feedback you can give would be so helpful. Until next time.