Summer Break Replay: Lorna Wells on Delayed Dreams, and Life with Tauren Wells

Speaker A: Welcome to momatize youe Passion, a podcast for moms looking to turn their passions into online brands that serve others. I'm Tara Lund, a content strategist with over 10 years of experience creating viral content seen by millions. I'm here to help you grow your brand and reach the people God has called you to serve. Hey Mom, I just wanted to jump in here really quickly again. Are you ready to monetize your God led passion without the overwhelm? Well, I've created something quick, easy and practical just for you. The Monetize youe Passion audio Bundle is a 14 part collection of powerful God centered audio lessons curated from this podcast. Plus it includes a detailed printable workbook to walk you through the process. You'll learn how to clarify your God given passion, define your niche and audience, grow with organic marketing, set meaningful goals plus more. You can pause when you need to pray through each step and let God lead your journey. Click the link in the show notes to download your audio bundle today. All right, let's get into this episode. So on this episode I'm speaking with Lorna Wells. She's the wife of music artist, author and pastor Torin Wells. She's also a devoted mother of four boys and co lead pastor of Church of Whitestone. She's also a passionate worship leader, podcast host and she has a powerful voice for women pursuing purpose, faith and and family with boldness and grace. So in this episode we talk about what it feels like to be benched by God when we think we're not pursuing our passions and how to encourage our kids to follow their own passions. Plus so much more. So this is definitely an episode you do not want to miss. Let's get into it. Hi, Lorna. Welcome to the show.

Speaker B: Hi, Taralon. How are you? Good.

Speaker A: How are you?

Speaker B: Good.

Speaker A: Your office space looks so cozy.

Speaker B: Thank you. This is my husband's office. As you can see, he loves books.

Speaker A: I was gonna say, I see all those books in the corner. Are those his books? I know he just published a book, right?

Speaker B: They just put out a book called Joy Bomb. That is not those. But these are just all the books that he reads and then the ones that he buys and then hasn't read yet.

Speaker A: I thought I had a lot of books like my M. Oh, and that's

Speaker B: a very small portion of the books. These are the overflow. That's just that.

Speaker A: That is hilarious. Thank you so much for being here again. I just want to know all about you and your family. So why don't we just start from the Beginning. So how was life like for you just growing up? I know your dad was a pastor, but what was life like for you?

Speaker B: Honestly? I had a great childhood. I have an older brother. It's just me and him. Grew up in Houston, Texas. Uh, my dad pastored a church there. He's still pastoring, actually. So he's been pastoring for, um, 50 years, I believe, um, a long time. And so I just grew up in the church. Grew up, um, in the music department. My mom led the music at our church. So I, I grew up around that, directing the choir. So always around church. I went to a Christian school and just had a lot of. Just deep dives into Christianity and following Jesus. I had great examples from my parents of how to do that and just had a great upbringing until I went to, um, Bible college in Indiana. And that is where I met my husband, Torn Wells. He's, um, from Michigan. And so we met in Indianapolis, Indiana. Let's see, 2004 is when, uh, we had our. Our first year there. Trying to think if there was anything, like, exciting about.

Speaker A: Well, I know before you went to Bible college, you went to a different college because you had different passions and pursuits, right? Why don't you talk about that?

Speaker B: Yeah. So, um, I went on a music scholarship to just like a. A local school in Houston that was a community college and went there for music vocal scholarship. And. And so I started off with that, being classically trained and everything. Really enjoyed it. But my friend actually had gone to Indiana Bible College, um, and she was there and she was just telling me how amazing it was and just getting the ministry side of the training. And I knew I was going to do music at a church. Like, that's really what I wanted to do. And so I was like, I think I need to just transfer there. So I transferred there and, um, that's when I just started pursuing more of the ministry side of things and ended up coming back to my dad's church to be the worship pastor. And I did that for about 10 years.

Speaker A: Wow. Okay. So you always knew that you wanted to pursue music in ministry.

Speaker B: Yes.

Speaker A: Okay. So I know just from, you know, reading about you and hearing some interviews that you met Torrin in Bible college and you guys were actually in a group together, right?

Speaker B: We were. So there was like this small singing group, I think. Yeah. Six people. And you had to audition to be in the group. And obviously not a ton of people made it. And, um, I actually made it before him. He loves to tell that story because he's the professional Singer now. Um, but I. I made the group, and then I think it was the next year he made the group. We were already friends, but, um, that just really helped us build our friendship. We st next to each other in the group, so he was always telling me that I was too stiff when I was singing, and he was, like, teaching me to sway and, like, relax a little bit. So it was really good for me. I'd been classically trained, so I was just standing there. But it's like, now we're singing gospel music. Like, you've got to move, right?

Speaker A: That is so funny. Many people may not know that you were actually in a group. Were you pursuing a career outside of ministry at the time, or was this just to help increase, like, your passions? Like, what were you thinking?

Speaker B: Yeah, no, I wasn't really pursuing any kind of career at the time. You know, I think, like, most college students, you can kind of feel like, I don't really know what I'm going to do when I get done with this. But being in that group was really cool because we would go to all different kinds of churches across the nation, and we would sing at their churches. We would do, like, two different tours, and we would sing and minister. So it really helped develop those ministry gifts of, like, on stage things, of. Of speaking, because we would introduce this next song we were going to do or something like that. Really helped us to. To develop those speaking skills and things like that. So super beneficial. Um, our dean of music, he actually just retired. I can't remember how many years he was the dean of music there. But we just did this big tribute for him because of all that he poured into us. And here we are pastoring a church, and I just told my husband, I'm like, everything we did in that group back when we were 18, 19, 20, like, that helped develop us into what we are today.

Speaker A: Yeah, absolutely. Because I see the speaking gift that you have. I see how it's prepared you, like, even for where you are today with your church. So that is awesome. Yeah. So you are in college, you're in this group. So take us back from where things went from there.

Speaker B: So after, um, college, we torn, and I went our separate ways. We were just friends. He was doing some ministry, I believe, in Cincinnati, Ohio. I went back to Houston.

Speaker A: I'm sorry, can I interject?

Speaker B: Yeah.

Speaker A: You were just friends. Like, did either of you have any attraction for one another? Like, do you know what I mean? Like, was any of that in the forefront or the back of your mind?

Speaker B: Yes. Um, he had Actually told me that he loved me.

Speaker A: Wow.

Speaker B: Yes. Um, and I told him I didn't feel the same in that way and kind of broke his heart. So he told me he wasn't going to speak to me. So he was like, I can't just be your friend. And that was heartbreaking for me, which I didn't realize at the time. I really cared for him. I'd think I was just young and, like, you know, doing my thing and not ready to, like, commit to anything serious. And so he didn't talk to me for a whole year. And then I called him on his birthday one year. He was dating someone else, but I was just like, I just want to tell you happy birthday. And so that kind of, like, kickstarted us talking again. And then, uh, one day I was just like, you know what? Let's date. Like, we've never dated. Let's just see what happens. And then he told me, he said. He calls me the next day. He's like, I really feel like I need to take a year off from dating. And I was like, you've got to be kidding me.

Speaker A: What happened with the other girlfriend that he was seeing?

Speaker B: They broke up.

Speaker A: Oh, okay.

Speaker B: She wasn't the right one. He knew she wasn't. But he's telling me he's going to take a year off from dating. I'm like, wow. He calls me two days later. He's like, okay, I've changed my mind. I'm ready to date you.

Speaker A: Wait. There was a book, uh, I read it a long time ago by Bunny Wilson, where she had people take a break from dating just to, like, get with God. And, you know, was he reading one of those books that told him to take a year off?

Speaker B: Probably. And all of that is very good. But we had waited quite a while, and I think he realized, hey, this is my shot. Like, yeah, uh, let's go for this. And so he actually ended up coming to Houston to do an internship at my dad's church, um, for the youth team. And he came here, and we started dating, and the rest is history. A year later, we were engaged, and then we got married a few months later.

Speaker A: Okay, I love that story. What was Torrin doing at the time?

Speaker B: He. He had been in, um, Cincinnati for a while, did the music there. And then he went to a church in St. Louis area, and he was helping there with their youth ministry and stuff like that. But he had started his band, which was Royal Taylor. They actually had already started out of college. Some friends from college, we all knew, so they, he got signed pretty shortly after that, after he had moved to Houston, I believe is when their band got signed. And so he started doing music. He was traveling a lot, but he was also on staff at the church part time. Just worked out of there. And then once we were married, um, that's what he was doing most of the time. I remember after we got engaged, uh, I mean, after we got married, uh, first of all, a month later, my dad was diagnosed with leukemia.

Speaker A: Oh, I'm so sorry.

Speaker B: And it was just. It was a crazy first year of marriage. We get back from our honeymoon and he torn left for, I believe it was six weeks in a row. And while he was gone is when my dad was diagnosed. So I was at home by myself, just trying to figure out, like, what is this marriage life that I'm in, where my husband is hardly ever here and trying to figure out this situation on my own. And so that was a testing year for sure. But to go back to my dad, he has been healed of leukemia. He has not had any issues since then. And that was 2011.

Speaker A: What a miracle. So during that time, because I've heard you speak about the challenges of just having a husband who's traveling. I'm in a. I was in a similar situation or similar. My husband works in the entertainment industry. Not traveling as much as Torrin because, you know, several months out of the year, but just traveling to different states maybe for a few months out of the year. So I can relate to, you know, not having him there, especially when you have kids and you need help. There's a lot of responsibilities. But I know you mentioned that initial time was very challenging. Can you just talk us through that and what was that like?

Speaker B: Yes. Um, once we started having kids, it obviously got more challenging and he started shifting to where he really wanted to be at home more, and he wanted to be more a part of the local church. That's always been his heart. And so just being gone so much, he didn't really feel plugged in in the way that he wanted to be. And I was just really struggling with, um, with that disconnect. And like, I felt like we were meant to do ministry together, but it was just, I'm doing my thing over here, he's doing his thing. And honestly, the biggest struggle came when we left my dad's church. So we started feeling like it was time to transition out of my dad's church. We knew that we were called to plan, um, a church one day. We didn't feel like it was the time for that. But we knew it was time to move out of our comfort zone just to see where God was going to take us. So when that happened, I obviously didn't have a job anymore. I was just going to be a stay at home mom with. With my boys. And um, so we.

Speaker A: It.

Speaker B: That was a lot of transition because obviously I had been in my dad's church almost my whole life. And, um, we didn't know if we were going to be moving somewhere new, if we were staying in Houston. But an opportunity came up at Lakewood Church. Um, Pastor Joel and Victoria, incredible people. They reached out to us and they're like, we heard that you guys are leaving. If you have to go somewhere else, maybe it could be here. And they were just so amazing and kind. They. They went out of their way to like, meet with my parents just to connect with them and make sure they were okay with us coming there. Just incredible. So torn. Ended up accepting that position. And it was such a blessing because I was able to stay home with the. With the kids. And if anyone has been a stay at home mom, you know the joys and the challenges of that, especially if you're used to working full time. So, um, that's where the biggest struggle came for me because I honestly felt like I had been benched. And I'm like, God, you've given me talents, you've given me gifts and you've benched me. I'm over here at home changing diapers and making peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. And this is hard. And my husband's gone. Um, I'm doing it by myself most days, you know, I'm going to church by myself. And so one day I laid down behind the couch and in my living room, which is where I prayed a lot of times because there's like this little bay window there and the couch is in front of it. So I would just lay down. It was early in the morning and I just had a pity party, honestly. And I was like, God, what, what are you doing? Like, why can't I do what you've called me to do? When am I going to get back to doing what you've called me to do? And I just felt the Lord speak to me in that moment and say, you are doing what I've called you to do.

Speaker A: Wow.

Speaker B: This is what I've called you to do right now. And just downloading. The importance of raising my sons and making our house like a haven. Because when my husband would come home, m like, if I was upset and stressed and he's coming home from this long trip, then he's walking into something that's not safe and it's not something he wants to be a part of. But shifting that and making it a safe place and a place where my husband wants to come home to, that's an important role. And I was really missing that. I was missing what God was doing and how he was preparing me and growing me. Because whenever, I can't, um, believe I'm using a sports analogy, but whenever a player is benched, it's not necessarily because they've done something wrong. A lot of times it's for their own good. It's like, come, sit down, get a rest, get some water, get some fresh energy so that you can get back in the game stronger than ever before. And I was just looking at it like, okay, I'm being punished, or I've been doing something wrong, I'm not talented enough. So I'm, I'm sitting this whole season out. And God really showed me that that wasn't the case at all. And so after that, I really felt like I shifted my mindset around it and I, I had to fight through some resentment, I think, toward my husband. Just, he's out here living the dream. You know, we did a podcast episode about it and I titled it Grammys and Sweatpants because he's being nominated for Grammys. I'm at home in my sweatpants. And that's how our life was in that season. And I had to fight through that because I'm, um, like, you're out here living your dream and, and I'm not. And it sounds really bad to say when you think, because, you know, I see moms all the time posting things. They're like, my children are my world. And, you know, and although I adore my children, I've never been the one to say my children are my world. Um, because I just, it's hard for me, honestly to just be at home and be totally locked into my kids and not worrying about anything else. It's. It's something that I have to work on and I don't. I hopefully am not the only mom that struggles in that way.

Speaker A: No, not at all. But you have dreams and passions inside of you. And I get what you're saying, like, feeling like you've been benched. Because I've had seasons like that too, because I've always pursued my passions. I encourage other moms to pursue their God led passions. And when you're in certain seasons where you feel like you're not doing it, or maybe not fulfilling it to the capacity that you think, like, what you said is so key because during those seasons, like, you're still doing what God calls you to do. Like, this is all preparation. Like, you're being there for your husband because he needs you so he can do what he's called to do.

Speaker B: Yes.

Speaker A: I know someone who was in your exact situation. Their marriage did not work, actually, because she held onto that resentment and was never able to reconcile that. So can you just speak practically, like, some things that you did during that season to help you get out of that? Because I'm sure there's some moms listening. They are in that season where they feel so stuck or they feel like they're not pursuing their passions, they're home with the kids, and maybe, you know, their husband's fulfilling their dreams and they're home with the kids and they feel stuck.

Speaker B: Yeah, I think practically for me, it was. It was discipline. You know, I am such a strong believer in. In spiritual things and spiritual breakthrough, um, deliverance, inner healing, things that we need in our lives and we have access to. But discipline is just the big, ugly word that nobody wants to talk about. But it's like, I. After I had that prayer time with the Lord, I'm like, okay, I've got to get up. I've got to get outside, get my running app, uh, whatever it is that, like, gets me moving, get some fresh air, have a fresh perspective on my day, prayer exercise, movement. I'm going to get my kids out of the house and take them to the park or something. And then I just started creating systems for my family. I wanted to teach my kids about God, so how can I do that? How can I practically teach them about God? And I just started developing things that helped me do that. So I started looking at it more as, like, this is my job. So I'm going to get up, I'm going to make breakfast. I'm not just going to, you know, microwave something real quick. I'm going to make breakfast. I'm going to have a schedule for the day. You know, when your kids are little, sometimes that's challenging. But it's like, let's have a rough schedule so that we can get through this day, and we know it. I know what's going to be expected. Nothing's going to be thrown at me randomly, and we're gonna not just get through it, but, like, thrive in this season. And so that is what I did. I just kind of buckled down, and I'm like, this is my Job. I got my cute little planner out and I started planning because I love to plan. And instead of just sitting in my depression of I'm at home all day, like, no, let's make this fun. Let's make this, um, beneficial to my kids and, and be a mom that they really love to be around.

Speaker A: I love that. So, Torrin, did he see a difference in you, like, when he started coming home?

Speaker B: Yes. And during that time, we were doing a lot of healing too, in our marriage, doing counseling and things like that. That really, when I look back now in those five years, I'm like, if we wouldn't have had that season, I don't think we'd be where we are right now. I don't think we would have been prepared to take on, um, what God has given us to take on. I just think everyone goes through that pruning wilderness season where you're just kind of, you're breaking down barriers, you're forging a path, and ultimately, hopefully you're resting because God is preparing you for something big and he needs you at your best to get you there.

Speaker A: Yeah. I also like to encourage moms when they are in that place to like, pursue their passions in little ways even, you know, whether it's, I'm just going to use songwriting because, you know, you're a musical family, maybe writing a song. And this is probably a bad example because you can't just write a song while the kids are asleep unless God just puts that song in you and you just write it when they're asleep. Like, were there ever moments where during the time you were a stay at home mom that you were still pursuing your passions just a little bit, like on the side?

Speaker B: Yeah. Um, I would lead worship some at Lakewood as well. Um, and that was great. It was just, honestly, really hard, um, with the boys by myself getting there for rehearsals and stuff. So I didn't do it a lot. But one thing that I started, and this is really what made me ready for us to plan a church, is I started a women's Bible study, and it really was geared to stay at home moms. I'm like, hey, if you're at home during the day, your kids are at school, or you've dropped your kids at school, like, come over and we'll do a Bible study together once a week. And so I started that, and I can't remember how many we started with, but we had moved into this house and we didn't have any furniture in the living room yet. And I had, like, chairs all in the whole living room, and it was full. And I think we probably had 25 women there. The first. The very first one. And I was just like, this is incredible. And some of them I didn't even know because I had just posted. I think I posted on my Facebook page or something, and I was like, you know, DM me, if you're interested. So a lot of the women I had never met before, um, they just kind of knew me through Lakewood or, you know, through a friend or something. And that was. So that kept me going every week. It was just so incredible. And during one of those Bible studies, one of my friends, I was talking about this exact thing, and she was like, do you ever sing for your kids? And I'm like, yeah, you know, I, uh, I sing to them at night. And my friend was like, well, you know that your voice is the best thing to your kids. So when you're singing to them, you're using your gift. And I'm like, that is so true.

Speaker A: I was thinking the same thing for you, Lorna. I. I was. Yeah.

Speaker B: That night I had my baby and he was crying, he was really upset. And I just started singing. I wrote a song for all my kids that I sang to them. And so I just started singing that song. And he just got quiet and just relaxed. And it was like, God just brought that back to my mind. Like, this is your gift. You're using it. It just looks different right now.

Speaker A: What a great example.

Speaker B: Oh, my gosh. And. And just when you allow God to, like, speak to you in those times and you're not distracted by, oh, I need to be up washing the dishes. I need to be. And you're just still for a minute, he'll speak to you and he'll encourage you. And in those times, that could be stressful.

Speaker A: And during that season, you probably touched so many stay at home moms too, who needed to hear the wisdom that God was pouring into you. So not only were you there for your kids and Torrin, but for these other women as well, who you probably changed a lot of lives. Like, during that season, it was really

Speaker B: amazing, like, seeing what God was doing. And I think what I learned most was that it's not really helpful to people to walk through a difficult time and then wait until you're totally out of it to share it and help people. But it's so powerful when you're in the middle of it to encourage women and be like, hey, I'm in the middle of this right now. But this is what God is teaching me along the way. That has so much more of an impact.

Speaker A: That is so true. Now, what would you say to that? Mom listening? Maybe she feels like she has taken a backseat seat to her husband. Or maybe her passions or her dreams are on hold and she feels stuck. Like, what are some practical things you could recommend?

Speaker B: I would first say don't stop dreaming. Don't stop thinking about your passions. But use this time strategically to prepare for those dreams. Because God is gracious to us in that he does bench us sometimes for our own good. And it's like, while you have this time where you have more time to think after the kids go to bed, like, sit down with your dreams. Find out how you can plan out what you're going to do once you have more time to focus on that. Or how can you switch this up? Now, one benefit for us was while I was going through all this, Covid happened. And that's when everyone had to switch up what they were doing and figure out a different way to do it. We had to figure out a different way to do church, all of that. So it, like, got our minds working. Like, okay. That's when my husband started his podcast, and it was amazing. He's like, I'm. I'm still able to survive. I'm not traveling and I'm not doing shows, which was scary to us because that was our income. But this podcast came up right in that time. And it's like when you have those moments where you have to shift and your dreams are put on hold, so to speak. God is just allowing you an opportunity to think differently about your dreams. Because we get in these ruts, and we get. It's like, one way is the only way. And it's how we planned it out. It's what was in our mind. And if we know anything about God, we know that his ways and thoughts are above ours. And usually he doesn't do it how we think it's going to be done.

Speaker A: Yeah.

Speaker B: He does it a little bit different. And so it gives us that opportunity to see what God has.

Speaker A: Yeah. And I feel like sometimes there's more value in us going through what we're going through and receiving what God wants us to receive than in the thing that we're asking him for.

Speaker B: Right.

Speaker A: But sometimes we miss it because we are so focused on that thing that we miss the season of cultivating that we're in.

Speaker B: Absolutely.

Speaker A: Now, I know you have four boys. How old are they?

Speaker B: So my oldest is 12, and then his name is Canaan. And Then we have Lawson, that's nine, Navy, that seven, and Banner is four.

Speaker A: You guys are so creative, just even with the names of your boys.

Speaker B: Thank you.

Speaker A: I remember you guys did a podcast episode. You talked about their different personalities. It was great to hear how different they were. Now I know they have passions even at a young age. Like, how do you encourage them as their mom and you two together just being married? How do you encourage them to pursue their passions?

Speaker B: Yeah, we've been really, um, discussing that a lot lately, just with how our culture in the past has really put so much emphasis on school and college and education. We're just rethinking that. Um, not that we don't believe in education. I was salutatorian in my class. I love education. I think it's important. But to what degree and in what way do we cultivate that in our kids? Because I think that we can stifle them and put them in a box if we're like, okay, you have to go to school, you have to make good grades, and then you're going to go to college, you're going to get a degree, and then you can go get a job. It's like, that's not really how the world works anymore. There are obviously some professions that, yes, that's the path that you must take. But with our kids, we really believe that they have a lot of creative gifts. They have leadership gifts, they have ministry gifts. And there's not, like, a great system to cultivate that in our kids. We have to create it. And so we've been praying through that over the last few weeks, just, like, rethinking everything. This is what we've been saying. Everything's on the table right now. Yeah, live, um, you know, the area that we live in, the schools our kids are going to, all of these things are on the table because we're like, God, we want the best for them. So if we need to move to get them to a different school, if we need to. To have some kind of homeschool cohort system, how do we develop their other giftings? How do we set them up for success with music? You know, my kids are great at sports, but honestly, you know, they're not all going to be, um, professional athletes or even play in college. There's a possibility that maybe one of them would. But they're creative and they're musical, and we don't have time for music lessons because they're running around to all the sports practices. So it's just another one of those things of like, how do we get them in music lessons without us killing ourselves? Because in our culture today, there's no margin. We don't have margin in our lives. We don't have a moment where we're all sitting at the dinner table and we can talk about our day and talk about God, because we're all at, ah, running our kids to different practices. Any insight that anyone has on those subjects, I. I'm open. Because we're figuring that out right now.

Speaker A: Yeah, I think what you're doing now is great because they're, uh, they're doing things that they enjoy doing, and I feel like enjoying the things that you enjoy doing, you uncover other things. Sometimes I'll just go through a list of, like, I just asked ChatGPT, give me a list of different passions kids can have. And then I just ran through the list with my kids one day. Are there any things here that you want to do? You know, and I'm creative, my husband's creative, so of course we have that mindset. You guys are creative, too. So you probably think more outside of the box than the average parent, I think. But there was even one, one, um, summer I was like, do you guys want to start a sports podcast? Because they love sports. You know, I'll help you get it started. You know, I just try to get them to think outside of the box, because when I was a kid, I was pursuing acting, like, I always had, like, these dreams and everything. So I just feel like, as parents, sometimes we can just like, plant little seeds, like, oh, what do you think about this? And it could spark something, you know, especially when the kids are younger, you know, just trying out different things. But I hear what you're saying, like, sometimes we put so much pressure on the things, the activities that they're involved in that there's no time to do anything or pursue anything.

Speaker B: Yes, absolutely. It's a tricky. It's a tricky space because you can easily pour all your time into one thing. And then your kid gets to high school, and they're like, I don't really want to do that anymore. And it's like all the time and money that we poured into, you know, baseball or whatever it was. And again, none of those things are wrong. And like you said, when they're enjoying things and they're being active, all of that's a great investment. But how much investment do you put in these things? And how do you divvy out the pot?

Speaker A: Yeah. Yeah. Well, I want to stay on the kids subject, since we're talking about Kids, you have four boys. And I believe statistically when kids graduate from high school, many of them either they become prodigal children, they stop going to church. What advice would you give to some mom listening? You know, maybe that is a concern. You know, maybe they have prodigal kids and maybe, you know, they're trying to hone that in, but they don't know what to do. And I know your kids are younger, 12 and under, but how do you just instill just the value system, faith and all of that just into the conversations to. I mean, you can't ensure anything because God knows the path that our kids are going to take, but just to kind of, um, keep them solidified in their faith.

Speaker B: Yeah, um, you know, a lot of what I'm going to say is very simple and practical and you know, sometimes those aren't the answers that we want. But praying for your kids, just very specific prayers there. I always pray for my boys. God, give them wisdom beyond their years because boys are reckless, they're dangerous, they, they be doing crazy stuff.

Speaker A: Yes, I have two boys, so yes, I hear you.

Speaker B: Oh. And I'm like, are you trying to kill yourself? What are you doing? So I'm just like, God, give them wisdom that when they're in, in these situations with friends that like, they just have a godly wisdom that says, this is not the choice to make. So I'm trying to insulate them with those prayers now before they even get to that stage. And then the second thing I would say is, and this is what I'm learning, I'm very much in the middle of this, but let them do it. Let them make mistakes. M. Now let them spill the milk. Now let them, uh, fall. Let them forget their project and don't bring it to them. If they didn't, if they weren't responsible enough to bring their project to school, I'm not going back to get it. And it's, it's hard. It, honestly, it pains me. Um, but it is teaching them to be responsible and it's giving them confidence. When we show them that we believe they can do it, they can make a good choice. Obviously we're not letting our 12 year old make every choice for himself. But there will be times where we'll say, what do you think is the right decision here? Um, we're going to let you choose on this and see, you know, if you think that's the right choice. And because of that, he's going to have more confidence as an adult or as a teenager to know that he can make the right decision and he's going to trust that instinct and trust the Holy Spirit when he hears it.

Speaker A: That is so profound and so hard to hear as a mama bear, because I will be taking that project up to the school.

Speaker B: I am with you. I've done it. And just recently, you know, I've heard this. I've, uh, just different clips and stuff and I'm like. And then the Lord just keeps bringing it to my mind. And I'm like, this is what I need to do. I need to let these boys make some mistakes and fall on their faces because it'd be better for them to do it now than to be a teenager and make a huge mistake that alters the course of their entire future.

Speaker A: Yeah, that's so good. And then even when they get out on their own, because I feel like, you know, a lot of kids, they get out on their own, they make mistakes, maybe they become prodigal kids, but then they find their own connection with the Lord. It's not their parents saying, okay, we need to go to church every Sunday, you need to go to your youth group. It's them finding it and then coming to the Lord in a very real way that maybe they've never experienced as kids.

Speaker B: Yes. And we in our house, like the biggest thing we've been talking about lately is telling the truth. You know, I just think it's ingrained in all of us, um, since we were born into sin, that we lie. And unless we're taught not to and taught that it's safe to tell the truth, even if you did something bad, it's safe. Like we're here to help you get out of the messes you create by your bad choices. Um, there will be consequences. There are always consequences to bad choices. But you can come to us and we're going to be there for you and we're going to help you. My husband just took our 12 year old on a man trip and we're going to do this with all of our boys. But they went through like this curriculum. Can't remember what it's called. If I remember, I'll give it to you so you can put it in the show notes. But it's for preteens. It's about purity, but it's about a lot of things of just becoming, um, a godly man. And so they went through that. They did like some activities together. They went and just did some fun things, went to dinner like for two nights and just talked through a lot. And the biggest thing was my Husband told my son, he said, I want you to know that no matter what you do, that your mom and I love you. It doesn't matter anything that you've done wrong, but we want you to know that you are safe to bring anything to us. And he said, come here. And he gave my son a hug. And he said, I want you to remember this feeling because this will be the first response for anything that you tell us that you've done wrong.

Speaker A: Wow.

Speaker B: And I, uh, I told him, I was like, that was from the Lord, because he's going to remember that hug, and he's going to remember that when he's messed it up, he doesn't have to say, oh, I hope my dad doesn't find out. He's going to say, oh, my goodness, I've got to go tell my dad. I need him. Yeah, that's what we have with the Lord too. And it's just such, uh, an amazing thing.

Speaker A: I love that. That is so powerful. And just as we wind down the conversation, I know you and Torn are both busy. You both. You have a church. How big is your church now?

Speaker B: Um, I think currently our average on a Sunday is like 2,200 on a Sunday.

Speaker A: And you launched in 2024, is that correct? Wow, that's amazing. And I'm sure it's busy. So how do you two stay connected as a couple, just with your different passions that you're pursuing in life? Being so busy and having four boys, like, how do you find your time? And what does that look like?

Speaker B: We have help, which is such a blessing. Um, we had a girl move with us from Houston. She was, like, the first person we hired, uh, to just help us with the kids and, and just give us, you know, a. A buffer so that we could, you know, feel like our boys were being taken care of and not neglected completely. So she helps us with a lot of tasks so that we can spend time with the kids and then also do our church work and stuff. But the biggest thing is we just started doing this, I believe in February is when we started. We decided to make Monday our Sabbath day. So, you know, we're serving. We're at the church from 6 until 6am until like 2 2:30pm on a Sunday. Um, and we're exhausted. So on Mondays, um, the girl who helps us, she would take the kids to school that morning, and we would just get to sleep in. Because, you know, when you have young kids Saturdays, you don't sleep in on Saturdays. Right. Or you have some sports game to go to. So there is no day you get to sleep in unless you have, uh. So we. We did that. We made that a priority. And then Monday nights are our date night. And our boys know this. When they see us starting to get dressed, they're like, oh, it's Monday. That's date night. And, um, we just have prioritized it and God has blessed it. It's so hard for us to prioritize rest and things like date nights, but as it comes to rest, it's actually a command. And I think the Lord knew that he had to command us to do it and not just suggest it because we're constantly striving. Um, but God does his greatest work through our lives when we trust him in the rest. When we trust him and say we are not going to do anything on this day. God always does his best work when we are leaned back in trust. Because when we're working and we feel like we constantly have to work, that's showing that we don't really trust God to fill in the blanks. And I'm all for hard work, but you have to have that time of rest. And so us prioritizing, that has been huge for us.

Speaker A: That's great. That's great. Now I know. Since you're a musician, are you guys going to do a song together?

Speaker B: You never know. You never know what the Lord will do. I think. I, um, think one thing that will happen eventually is probably some type of worship album coming out of Church of Whites Stone. And I, um, think that's going to be really awesome. I don't know if that'll look like me and Torn together, but a little secret, um, note is that me and Torn actually put out an EP one time. Four songs that we wrote together, and they were actually, like, love songs. And we put it out. We didn't put it out. We recorded it. So we kind of just did it for us.

Speaker A: Oh.

Speaker B: So not many people have heard it, but we have four songs that we wrote and sang together.

Speaker A: Are you able to share any of that? Can you send that to me? We could put in the show notes, uh, private.

Speaker B: I honestly, like, legally, I don't know, uh, to a label, he can't really put anything out.

Speaker A: I see.

Speaker B: That's why we didn't. That's why we didn't put it out. Um, we did put out one song, and I don't know if it's still on itunes. I'll send you the link to it. Yeah, if it's not, I'll just send it to you. Just. Just for you.

Speaker A: Yeah, I would love to hear it. Have you written any of Torrin's songs since you're a songwriter as well?

Speaker B: I actually just wrote on a song that came out on his most recent ep. It's called Not Guilty. So I wrote on that one with him.

Speaker A: Awesome. Thank you so much, Lorna, for being here today. This was such a blessing. Now, where can people find you if they want to know more about you, your church, and just what you do?

Speaker B: Yeah. So our church website is YourWhiteStone.org I have a. A website for a blog that I. I started and I plan on getting that back going again, but it's called Alive and Wells. Aliveandwells.com is the website. Have some blogs and a lot of our podcasts that we've done in the past is attached to that website as well. And then you can follow me on Instagram at. Uh, Lorna. Britney. Lorna. L O R N A B R T T A N Y thanks so

Speaker A: much for listening today. If you're still trying to figure out how to monetize your Godl passion, then click the link in the show notes to get my audio bundle. I promise you this will help you along your journey. Click the link in the show notes and get that today. Until next time,

Speaker B: Sam.