#163 | “I Know I Should Say No. So Why Can't I?”

Episode notes

#163 | “I Know I Should Say No. So Why Can't I?” In this solo episode of the Leman Tech Leadership Podcast, Aleksandra Lemańska takes on one of the most persistent gaps between what tech leaders know and what they actually do: saying no. Almost every leader Alex works with already knows, intellectually, that they should say no more often. They've read about it. They've advised their own team to do it. And then a stakeholder drops something on their desk, a peer asks for support just outside their remit, or their manager adds one more thing to the quarter, and they say yes. Again. The frustration afterward is real. And it's almost never about weakness or conflict avoidance. Alex identifies the three real roots of the problem. The first is identity: for most tech leaders, saying yes was the behavior that built their reputation and career as individual contributors, and the psychological cost of saying no now feels like a betrayal of who they are. The second is the absence of a clear enough set of priorities to say no to: a Contracting failure that leaves every incoming request feeling equally valid.

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