Why It’s Never Too Late to Dream Again Featuring Mike Zaccariello

Mike Zaccariello: Dreaming is good. Dreaming is very, very good, and it's important to rediscover that aspect of yourself because in that space is where you can live the best version of yourself and your most vibrant life. Kate Volman: If you have ever felt like it is too late to chase a dream, or maybe you're struggling to make a change in your life. This episode is for you because I am joined by Mike Zaccariello, who with the help of coaching has achieved so many incredible dreams over the years and is, has big dreams for the future.

And what's very interesting about Mike is the fact that he was very resistant to coaching. Kate Volman: Mm-hmm. For a couple years before he. Said, okay, let's, let's see what this coaching is all about.

And now, Mike, you've had a coach for five years, so obviously it's working. Mike Zaccariello: That's right. I drank the Kool-Aid. Kate Volman: Oh my gosh.

I love it. Well, welcome to the show. Thank you so much for joining us. I'm, I'm very excited about our conversation.

Mike Zaccariello: Thanks for inviting me. Kate Volman: It's gonna be fun because you have a very interesting background. You've done a lot of cool things. So I kind of wanna talk a little bit about like.

Pre coaching and then post coaching, like what's, what was happening? Kind of what stirred in your heart to actually reach out and Sure. Kate Volman: To decide that coaching might be a, a good thing for you. Mike Zaccariello: I first got exposed to Floyd Consulting oof, maybe about 10 years ago.

Actually. Floyd Consulting was working with the medical institution that I work at, and I listened to Matthew Kelly give a talk. I was pre inspired and then I started subscribing to kind of your newsletter. Mike Zaccariello: And every month when I get the newsletter, there'd be something about coaching, and then I would go to the website and I would click, but then I wouldn't click the button to kind of make the next step.

You're just one of the lurkers, you're lurking. And that's right. I'm a lurker. I'm a lurker.

Mike Zaccariello: Um, but what started happening is over the years there's kind of this internal kind of, is this really what I want? In life, and it just kind of, it was like a drum beating and it got louder and louder and louder. And then I did press the button one day, and then I saw the price tag and I'm like, whoa, wait a minute here. Mike Zaccariello: And so I went back to my lurker.

Stacks for a little bit and then, you know, okay, I really don't know what tripped the trigger, but just one day I said, you know, I'm gonna do this. And I started, and again, as you said, I entered in really, really skeptical that, you know, this is probably gonna be a waste of money. Mike Zaccariello: 1:00 AM I doing, and then not only did I get certified as a Dream Manager, but I'm here five years later still getting coaching. Kate Volman: Ugh.

That's so cool. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. That's so cool.

I love it. And I, and I think that a lot of people are in the same position, right? I mean, it's an investment, it's a big investment in yourself, but when you look at all the things that you're able to achieve, obviously it's, it's well worth the investment. Kate Volman: But let's talk a little bit about your background, because like I mentioned, you, you have.

Served in the military. You are, you work for a very big institution now and are going to be leaving soon. So you've made some really big moves in your life over the past couple years, which for a lot of people is really challenging to do. Kate Volman: Changing habits, maybe leaving a, leaving a job and going and trying something new.

So, but you've been able to do that and be with the help of coaching, obviously like having done this for five years, you've. You've made some really big moves and decisions. Mike Zaccariello: I was very struck by this phrase that Floyd uses or Matthew Kelly uses that most of us are more intentional about planning our vacation than we are our lives. Mike Zaccariello: And that really resonated with me and I think was one of the things that kind of pushed me to kind of seek out a coach.

What I love about coaching, kind of some of the things that are coming to mind is. I like this term Dream Manager because it's something that as we age tends to fizzle, and it's a phrase I think that we really need to kind of look at and reignite in ourselves that you can have these dreams and you can actively work towards them and make them rea a reality. Mike Zaccariello: Like I said, I was very skeptical, so dreams that I had put down for one to three years or three to five happened in six months.

Or within the year. And so that was just, you know, really made me kind of a believer. And I think the second thing, um, that the coach really, really helps with is accountability. Mike Zaccariello: So there are times that my coach has very lovingly.

But a little kick in the tush, you know, giddy up. We need to get moving on this. But also encouragement because you're right, change is really hard. You know, I'm middle aged right now, and so, you know, making this dramatic shift from a place that I've worked at for 17 years and kind of going out on my own and doing my own thing, you know, it is.

Mike Zaccariello: Yeah. It can be very, very daunting. Kate Volman: What are some of the dreams that you. If you're cool sharing with us, like what are some of the dreams that you are most proud of yourself for achieving over the past five years Mike Zaccariello: in no particular order?

Um, my wife's an artist in a potter in particular, and I'm good at drawing stick people, and that's kind of, that's where it stops you Kate Volman: and me both. Mike Zaccariello: I remember her talking about how cool it would be to have an art studio in the house, like a pottery studio. And even though it wasn't my dream, it was our dream. And that's one of those things again that I thought would happen in one to three years that happened within the year.

Just constructing that and then watching not only the dream come true, but it grows, you know? Mike Zaccariello: And just watching my wife in that space doing pottery lessons with special needs kids to adults, having open houses to display her artwork was just, it was gratifying for me to see my wife in such a really, really happy. Place. I think the dream that I've been chipping away with at for years now is this leap that I'm gonna make next week.

Mike Zaccariello: Again, leaving an institution that I've been at for 17 years and creating a, a business with a culture, a value, and a mission that I think really prioritizes people, service and relationships. Kate Volman: If someone's listening and they're thinking, okay, Mike, that sounds awesome. Kate Volman: Like, I've been in the same career for a long time. I don't know that I, that I trust that what's on the other side, like what is it gonna look like?

Obviously we, we have this mental talk, we, we have these. Voices in our head, right? Yes. Like the people, the things like, what if it doesn't work out?

Or What are you doing? Kate Volman: Or just stay where you're safe. And so we talk ourselves out of our dreams sometimes, but you're making this leap. And before I hit record, you're like, I'm not quite sure here where, where this is gonna go and what it's gonna look like.

And that's both. S scary and exciting at the same time. So how did you make that decision and then hold firm in that? Kate Volman: And then how are you gonna be able to move forward knowing that, hey, you're going to figure it out and it's going to be fine.

And what advice would you give to someone that might be in a similar situation, or maybe it's something else that they're trying to get out of. Mike Zaccariello: Well, first I'll get your phone number and have you on speed dial when I freak out and call Kate Volman: a hundred. Kate Volman: I'm, I am here for you. Mike Zaccariello: I think for, for me, and I wonder for most people is we tend to get too far in the weeds and the logistics, you know about, for me, I, you know, I'm setting up a private kind of specialty mental health practice, so, you know, legal entities and taxes and bank applications and space and build outs, and these things are necessary and they're important.

Mike Zaccariello: What's kept me going though is what's my why? Where do I want to work? You know, where do I want the most satisfaction? What sort of environment and people do I want around me?

And what do I, how do I want to be of service, um, to others? Now I've been really, really fortunate that I have surrounded myself and my coach is probably. Mike Zaccariello: The leader in this that have really, really encouraged me, and I've gotten to the point that when I'm feeling resistance, that I actually lean into that as opposed to avoiding it. If that makes any sort of sense.

And kind of like what's the itty bitty step that I can take today to kind of advance to the goal. Mike Zaccariello: And then also, you know, as we discussed before we started recording, you know, I'm. I very faith filled, so kind of reli relying on my religious faith to kind of help entrusting and having faith and hope, um, and kind of guiding me along the way I think is the short answer to a very complex problem. So, but yeah, I'm totally like, yeah, I'm more apprehensive about this, that I was going to Iraq on a military deployment, so that tells you how warped my brain is sometimes.

Mike Zaccariello: Wow. It's frightening. I think that's inaccurate word, but also exciting. Yeah.

Which, um, for what I do in the mental health field actually has some of the same brain pathways and brain chemicals. So I'm trying to reframe things that way. Kate Volman: Yeah. Well it's interesting 'cause you come, um, from a psychology background and I have heard some psychologists talk about how the physical reaction that we feel around fear and excitement.

Kate Volman: Are the same. Mike Zaccariello: Yeah. Kate Volman: Like you get the butterflies in the stomach and it's like, like, so, so if we just reframe what we're feeling and I love that you said. You are leaning into resistance, and right when you said that, it reminded me of one of my absolute favorite books, The War of Art by Steven Pressfield.

Kate Volman: Yes. Right. It's like that book is constantly around me because it's what I pick up. It is the speed dial for me, right?

Like it is what I pick up. And I'm like, all right, Steven, get me through this. And so you just can flip through any page and you read it and it reminds you that. When you have resistance, it's mostly because that is what you are meant to do.

Kate Volman: That is the thing that you need to do, that you're called to do. And because of that, it's so we get those, oh, I'm just gonna go make this phone call, or, oh, I'm gonna do that next week, or I'll make that decision and we postpone it. And so this idea of leaning into the resistance is really powerful because it's a way that we can. Kate Volman: Make those improvements in our life.

And even with knowing like there's no certainty. The thing about certainty that I find so interesting, there's no certainty on either side. Like even if you stay in a situation or if you're, you're not making a change, there's no certainty that that's gonna be, that's gonna work for you either. Kate Volman: Mm-hmm.

So it's like we like, it's almost like we're giving ourselves this comfort, but just do the thing. Mike Zaccariello: Exactly. Go Kate Volman: and do the thing. Mike Zaccariello: Yeah.

Yeah. You know, Pressfield's, you know, stuff I think really kind of gives you a, a more abstract, very, very important 'cause Yeah. I have the book too, and I look at it a lot. Mike Zaccariello: Something like, you know, James Clear's Atomic Habits, I think gives you the very practical things to do.

Yeah. Um, to kind of how to lean into that sort of resistance. I'm really impressed. You just kind of talked about something in two minutes that took me 10 years of.

Doctorate level education to get so, so, Dr. Volman, you're doing okay if this, you know, Floyd stuff doesn't work, you know, he got a second career. Kate Volman: Well, listen, I did not, I did not get my doctorate, but I've read, I've read so many books and I've done all the things. Like, it's so funny when people ask me about like, books that I have, it's like, have you really read all these?

Kate Volman: I'm like, I probably haven't read all of them, but I read a lot of. Especially in the personal development space. That's why I find coaching to be so fascinating because perfect example, coaches need coaches. So I have a coach.

You have a coach, you are a coach. Mike Zaccariello: Yep. Kate Volman: You are certified Dream Manager. And so even when we have all of the tools.

Kate Volman: We still need that support. You still need that accountability. You still need someone that's pushing you and challenging you and, and sometimes I even think I'll even sit here and think I have everything. Like I know what I need to do.

Why am I not doing it? And it's just, I Okay. That's when you gotta take a step back and just. Kate Volman: That lean in.

That's what I'm gonna be thinking about. That lean, lean in, lean into the resistance, um, to get it done. Mm-hmm. So with, with Dream Manager coaching, I'm curious, because I know you love the, the material and you have, uh, been able to use it.

Is there a particular session that you really. Enjoy or appreciate? Kate Volman: Or was there a particular aha moment in the certification that you felt like, oh, this is an area of life I see a lot of people struggling with? Mike Zaccariello: Great question.

Great question. For me, I think it's not so much a section in Dream Manager, it's more the overall concept. It's living purposefully and intentionally and making sure that one spends time. Mike Zaccariello: To kind of evaluate all aspects of their lives and where they're at.

Spiritual, relational, physical, intellectual, financial, and then using that kind of as a way to tweak where you're at. 'cause sometimes you might have to address the relational more than the financial and vice versa. And I think that The Dream Manager and the coaching kind of your coach helps you kind of assess where you're at and then kind of make tweaks. Mike Zaccariello: Kind of along the way.

It's like Matthew's Off Balance stuff, I think, but more on steroids is with the way I would kind of look at it. Oh, I like that. But, but also again, what Dream Manager again, back when skeptical lurker Mike days. You know, I gotta make sure my people don't know that nickname.

So they'll start calling me Mike. Kate Volman: Yeah, no, we don't wanna put that out there. That's not gonna be your new nickname. Um.

Mike Zaccariello: I really wanna emphasize dreaming is good. Dreaming is very, very good, and it's important to rediscover that aspect of yourself because in that space is where you can live the best version of yourself and your most vibrant life. Kate Volman: Yes, dreaming is essential. Mike Zaccariello: Correct.

Kate Volman: It is essential. We need our dreams, especially to lean into the resistance. The only way that we're gonna lean into resistance is, is if we have that dream that we are working towards. And you, you already mentioned your why, like what is your why?

Your why is found in your dreams. Mike Zaccariello: Mm-hmm. Exactly. Kate Volman: What do you think, how different do you think your life would look without coaching like.

Do, do you? Wow. Do you think that some of these dreams would've happened or would they still be just sitting on your list? Mike Zaccariello: I would be unhappy, frustrated, and dissatisfied.

I am not convinced that any dream I had would've come to fruition. Mike Zaccariello: So I, I think it's, you know, coaching is that critical, I think, to quality of life. To have someone that's kinda walking alongside you and accompanying you, encouraging you, pointing things out along the way, keeping you accountable are absolutely essential. Absolutely essential.

Kate Volman: Ugh, I love that. One of the things that I love so much about coaching, and especially in Dream Manager. Kate Volman: I, I is that, I always say co coaching is a gift. It, it truly is a gift.

And so give yourself the gift of coaching, give your team members the gift of coaching your loved ones, the gift of coaching. And one of the reasons why is, is, and you kind of mentioned, I think some people when they go into coaching or, or they're trying to make the decision, they think, is this gonna be a waste of money? Kate Volman: Like, is this gonna be a waste of time? Whatever It's, and.

There is no waste of time because it's literally meant to help you grow. So to me, it feels like no matter what worst case scenario is, you're going to come out the other side, a different person. You're going to learn new skills, you're going to learn new ways to make decisions. Kate Volman: You're going to learn new ways to ask yourself questions, because once you have a coach and they're asking you really great questions.

You're gonna start asking yourself better questions and those questions. Exactly. I think so often we get caught up in the, why is this happening to me? Or I wish it was a different way, or We get caught up instead of, okay.

Kate Volman: Or, there's nothing I can do about that and okay, that, that's one way to think and believe. But the opposite of those things is. What's next or mm-hmm. What can I do?

Mm-hmm. So what are some of the skills that you've learned over the past five years that have really impacted your life? So that even if you didn't have a coach next year, which I do not recommend, but if you didn't like that, you would just, they're lifelong skills that have helped you become a better person and have a better quality of life overall. Mike Zaccariello: For me, Dream Manager has provided, um.

All this just came to me. Think of a picture frame. So Dream Manager has provided me kind of a picture frame and then within that there's a tapestry of which I'm allowed to create dreams and a vision that most align with what I want to, who I want to be and what I would like out of life. Mike Zaccariello: But also, Kate, I think it's had a ripple effect, you know, like dropping a stone in a lake.

And you see the ripple, it kind of spreads. 'cause what I've noticed in my different roles, military mental health and being a Catholic deacon, is I use Dream Manager skills in all those areas. And I've seen how doing these giving, providing people these little touch points, gives them hope and enlivens their lives and helps, helps them kind of. Mike Zaccariello: Go down the road a little bit further with a more positive aspect and some hopefulness, again, about how their life could be ugh.

So it's not just about me, at least the way I look at it, it's kind of spreading, spreading it. And I, it's been ages since I last read Dream Manager, but I, I wonder if there were some themes of that. Mike Zaccariello: It wasn't just the person, you kinda, you spread it around. Kate Volman: Yeah.

Well, that's how, I mean, that's even, even with dreams. I, it's interesting when, I mean, look, we, we live in the world of dreams, right? Like at Floyd, where this is what we do. We're talking to people about their dreams every day.

And then I have to remind myself sometimes that in, in, in the real world. Kate Volman: That not everyone's talking about their dreams every day. Most people don't have their dreams written down. And so when you can be in someone else's life, even if it's a stranger, and you just ask them, Hey, what's one of your dreams?

And they probably look at you like you're crazy. Mike Zaccariello: Exactly. Kate Volman: Because no one asks people that. Kate Volman: But how beautiful that someone's gonna say, I'm at this weirdo Mike, and he asked me about my dreams, and all of a sudden I had this.

20 minute conversation with him, and maybe you'll never see that person again, but the impact you had on their life. And then that person is gonna tell that story to someone else and then they're go, or they won't even tell that story, they'll just ask the next person about their dreams. Kate Volman: And so you do get this really beautiful ripple effect. It really is a beautiful thing.

I am curious, especially with your psychology background. One of the things that, and I've talked about this in other videos, but so like I mentioned. I have read a lot of books. I love books.

It's like my addiction, like it's what I love to, to, I just have too many books, but, and I always say, I'm gonna stop buying books. Mike Zaccariello: I'm with you, sister. Yeah. Kate Volman: Yeah.

It's like impossible. Anyway, books are amazing, but I have read so many of them, and, and I, I talked about this recently about personal development when people read personal development books, which is amazing, and we wanna grow and get better, but. W we have to use the information that we're reading. Kate Volman: And so I often wonder how many people are, are kind of addicted to personal development and buying all the courses and reading all the books, and going to all the conferences, going out of the, to all the seminars, which is awesome.

But again, if you're not using the information. It's not really doing anything for you. Kate Volman: So I think there's a really a big difference between someone who's just like constantly feeding themselves that versus, okay, I'm actually gonna make this investment in myself to do coaching. Because reading personal development books, you can let yourself off the hook.

You can say you're gonna do everything that is in atomic habits and do none of it. Kate Volman: But when you get that, when you invest in coaching, no, your coach is gonna hold you accountable. So how do you help someone who see or. Experience their life in a way that they're not just thinking that they're growing, thinking that they're getting better 'cause they're feeding themselves new content versus someone who's actually making those changes in their life.

Mike Zaccariello: I think you know, it, it opened, my initial thoughts are kind of opened, ended, non-judgmental kind of conversations or questions about how, how is the consumption of self-help personal development material. How is that practically helping or not in your life and kind of exploring that space pre lurker. Mike Zaccariello: Mike, I'm like you tons of books. Reading, constantly application of it and you know, again, it was that drum of that just growing dissatisfaction and discontent.

And I think Matthew talks about this. That's a signal. And to not, you know, look away from that. 'cause it, it's telling you that life is calling you to something different.

Mike Zaccariello: And that's where again, I think coaching is absolutely essential. Or having somebody accompany you where you have this space where you can explore what you're working on, what your dreams are, what you need to be tweaking, how you need to be held accountable, how you need to be supported and loved and cared for, that you're going through a difficult transition, you know, of basically. Mike Zaccariello: Leaving a career that you've had for most of your adult life.

I dunno if that's making sense, but for, for me, the, the, it's first a conversation about, and um, you know, I do this in my professional work when I'm working with people who are struggling with any sort of mental health issue, is what's the end state like, what do you want life looking like? Mike Zaccariello: And then how do we take actionable action and slow increments to kind of get you to that point? And it can be a rough road. Change is hard to overcome that inertia.

But again, you know, I think with support, with accountability, taking small little steps is the key. Yeah, Kate Volman: yeah. Speaking of books, and have you read, I know a lot of people love book recommendations. Kate Volman: Is there anything that you've read over the past couple years that has really stood out to you that you've really enjoyed?

Mike Zaccariello: I'm not getting any royalties, but, um, I think No Regrets in the Fourth Quarter. I really believe that's something worth looking at, no matter what your age is, to be honest with you. Mike Zaccariello: Like I, I'm contemplating doing that sort of thing with younger families in my parishes because I think it creates a nice roadmap, you know, of kind of Dream Manager stuff. I think another book is Arthur, um, Brooks', From Strength to Strength.

I think that that's a really thought provoking book. It's for folks that are my age or a little bit younger about really thinking about what do you want to contribute, um, in life, not only just career wise, but kind of life in general. Mike Zaccariello: So those are the, the two main ones that are actually, there's a, there's a third, it's more, it's got strong Catholic overtones, just to be honest with you. It's called healing your feelings and emotions.

Oh. Um, by Conrad Bars. B-A-A-R-S in my humble estimation. It's a very cool, the way the book is written, it's kind of a q and a.

Mike Zaccariello: So Conrad Barnes is a psychiatrist, a Catholic psychiatrist, and um, the book walks you through a very cool way of how one can identify, acknowledge, experience, and then if needed, how does one express kind of emotion. I know that sounds a little bit abstract. But it's, it's been a powerful book. I've used it into my own kind of clinical work with some pretty miraculous results.

Kate Volman: That's awesome. All right, cool. Well, I'm happy that you mentioned No Regrets in the Fourth Quarter, which is awesome. The fourth quarter workbook is so good.

It is such a great workbook. So if you are listening and you have not yet picked up a copy, then we highly recommend doing that because, and we agree, we talked about it in the office. Kate Volman: That book, which was written by Matthew Kelly, if you're un unfamiliar, um, Matthew Kelly and, and Allen Hunt Uhhuh, who partnered with No Regrets. And then the workbook is fourth quarter and it is.

It is so good and it really is for it. It's not just for fourth quarter. Mm-hmm. Like I, when I read it and look at it and, and do the activities, I'm thinking, I wish I did this in my twenties.

Kate Volman: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. And then again, in your thirties, and then kind of revisit because you know, there's different seasons of life that we go through, but That's right. It's really cool to start thinking about, you know, when you're in your twenties, you're not thinking about.

You are not really thinking about a strategic plan for a virtue. Mike Zaccariello: Yeah. Or your Kate Volman: character. And then as you get older, you really start thinking about that or your legacy.

Mike Zaccariello: Yeah. I'm not sure how much thinking I was doing in my twenties. Kate Volman: Yeah, there was, it was mostly just, you know, you're hanging out. 'cause you have, you have all the time in the world, Mike, when you're in your twenties, you're just, ah, Mike Zaccariello: it's right.

Kate Volman: Oh my gosh. Alright, if there's somebody that is, uh, that has been listening and they're still contemplating coaching, what advice would you give someone who's like, I don't know if I'm, I don't know. Should I hire a coach? Should I invest in coaching?

I'm not quite sure just yet. What advice would you give that person? Mike Zaccariello: It's life altering. It's truly, truly, truly life altering and lean in.

You'll be blown away. Kate Volman: I love it. I love it. Love it.

Ugh. Mike, you're so awesome. I'm so excited for you and your next chapter. I, and seriously, you are welcome to call me if you are having a breakdown and you just need someone to talk through something with.

Kate Volman: Yeah, because Mike Zaccariello: that I need a Floyd Consulting intervention. I not, you get the whole team on. I'm gonna up. I was like, all Kate Volman: everybody.

All right, team Mike. Team, let's settle. Oh my gosh. I love it.

So much. Well, thank you so much for your time. Thank you. Thank you, ma'am.

You are awesome. Very excited for you and your future, and I'm so happy that we've been able to support you on your journey over the past five years and beyond. Kate Volman: Well, we'll keep it going. We'll help you continue to lean in.

To your resistance and achieve all as many dreams as you have on your list. Mike Zaccariello: Really appreciate your time. This was really fun. Thank you.

Kate Volman: Good. Well, thank you all so much for listening. We appreciate you. If you are interested at all in learning more about coaching, we would love to have that conversation with you.

Kate Volman: You can go to floydcoaching.com and until next time, Lead With Culture.