How to Sell Without Feeling Pushy | Sales Mindset for Introverts

Foreign. For those of those of you that are new here in the community because we do have some folks that are new, whether you're watching the replay or the live. I'm Karina Calhoun and I am a life and business strategist. Really helping introverted women to thrive in their life and in their business. Now, I do say introverted women, but you don't have to be an introvert to work with me. But my strategies are tailored for introverts so that we're not having to do that aggressive visibility, we're not having to do the aggressive sales, all of those things. I do hold a free training here in this community Every Tuesday at 3:15pm Eastern Standard. So make sure you set your notifications. Come and join us. Ask any questions that you have during or after the training. If you don't feel comfortable or confident commenting or asking a question in front of everybody, feel free to DM me. My DMs are always open, they're always busy. So if I don't get to you right away, just know that I will get to you. So keep that in mind. This month, the month of August, we're talking about sales for introverts. And the reason why is because I did a poll in July, I did a poll in 26 of you, I'm sorry, 26% of you indicated that selling was the top topic that you wanted to dive into. So I want to make sure it, if that is a need, then that is what we are going to be addressing. So with that being said, for the entire month of August, we are going to be really diving into sales. We're going to come from four different aspects of sales. Okay. And within these four aspects, however you see yourself, you know, make sure you see yourself there and then move along because we want you to be able to provide the services and the impact that you're supposed to provide in the world. Okay? So we don't want to have sales being a hindering point, a stopping point for us. So I do know that even with that being said, I do know that selling can feel overwhelming, especially for us introverts. It can feel overwhelming and it may make you feel anxious about approaching potential clients. You may begin to feel that fear of rejection or like many of us have felt, some still do feel, you may feel like you're coming off as pushing. And you all know I've given my my story, I've talked about my personal story for a just forever about how I really felt about sales and that what that thought process was created many Many, many, many years ago, over 20 years ago when I worked in a shoe department, a major department store. And during that training I was in the shoe department. During that training, the, the manager said, you know, you're gonna go back to the back, you're gonna get whatever shoe size they say they need in that particular shoe and you're gonna ask them if they want, you know, a pair of socks, a pair of pantyhose, a shoehorn, whatever the case may be, and basically you're going to upsell them. And I just remember thinking at that moment, I'm not selling anybody anything. Whatever they want is whatever they get. If they don't want anything that I'm not asking them. People should come in here and know exactly what they want. I'm not getting ready to do that. And I remember having that thought process. I remember that is where that selling piece really just really came in. And it took hold of me, okay, it took hold of me. And so the idea of selling for me became intimidating at that very moment. And it made me feel like I was stepping into a role that doesn't align with who I am and my natural tendencies specifically. But I've come to realize that when we understand the psychology or the mindset behind selling, then it can make it less intimidating and a lot more manageable. So that's one of the things that we're going to be talking about here within this month for selling for introverts, so that we can get past those thoughts that hinder us and we begin to self sabotage, really is what happens. We begin to self sabotage when we are having those sales conversations and it happens before we even get on the call with that person. It happens before, way before any conversation happens, we begin to self sabotage. And so that's why this first week I'm really dialing into the mindset of selling for introverts. The mindset, okay, the mindset you can think, you can, it's psychology, the mindset, however you want to phrase it, the mindset behind selling for us introverts. And so make sure you have your pen, your pencil, your notepad, whatever it is you need so that you're able to take notes, come back and re listen to this, whatever the case may be. So the first thing that I really want to dial into is perception versus reality. Perception versus reality. A lot of us perceive selling as pushing products or services on to other people, which is what I did. The story that I just told you, that was my perception of selling, that I'm, I'm peddling. Products to somebody. I'm peddling pantyhose or stockings or socks or shoehorns, shoelaces, I'm pedaling this stuff to them. But when you think about it, effective selling is all about solving a problem and offering value. The person that came in needing a pair of penny loafers may needed a pair of socks, but didn't realize it. They may have needed a pair of, you know, maybe a lady came in and needed, she had, you know, she wanted to buy some, some high heel shoes and needed some pantyhose. And so but if I didn't say, you know, are these, are some, are these a few things that you may need not to upsell her? Like when the manager was training me, he was coming from the upsell perspective. But if I had come from the perspective of, well, what if this is something that they need and they haven't thought about it, or they've thought about it and they didn't want to bother me, whatever the case may be. So in other words, you want to be able to have this mindset that you're solving whatever their problem is and you're offering them value. So when you shift your perspective from selling to helping, it changes your entire approach. I'm not selling you anything. I'm helping you to get to where you want to be. Okay? So think about how your product or your service can genuinely benefit your ideal client. And then as you continue to do that, selling becomes an act of service, selling becomes an act of service. And so it changes everything for you when you look at it in a different way. Hey, Deborah, by the way, so that's the first thing that we have to really look at, perception versus reality. How are you perceiving what you're doing versus the reality of it? Now, if you, if you're coming from the heart where you just want to make a dollar, then, yeah, your, your perception is your reality. You know, I've always said that your perception is your reality at that moment, your perception is your reality. That means that, you know, you're selling, you're being pushy. I've had people do that with me. So then the second thing that you want to look at when it comes to selling, having the mindset, okay. Is really dialing into emotional intelligence. Emotional intelligence. Emotional intelligence is one of my favorite things, almost most favorite things in the world. Okay. I really believe that successful people leverage emotional intelligence. When you think about emotional intelligence, this means understanding and managing your emotions with empathy. When it comes to your potential client, you're able to Empathize. It's about creating that genuine connection instead of that transactional interaction. And I say this a lot. I remember two years ago I volunteered with this organization and they were, we were working on marketing visibility and really getting down to the nitty gritty of getting folks on board and buying into the idea and vision of the organization. And I remember telling them, you have to come from the mindset that human beings, regardless of what we as human beings say, human beings are transactional. That's why you get the whole. Excuse me, when you're working on your visibility strategies. That's why you always have to lean into the mindset of your ideal client thinking, what's in it for me? Everybody knows that term, what's in it for me? And the reason why that term is so prevalent is because human beings are transactional. So if human beings are transactional, then we have to begin to recognize the emotional state of both you and your ideal client so that you can help them navigate that conversation more effectively. Because, yes, it's an act of service, but there's still a win, win situation that, that can potentially happen. So when you connect on that deep, deep level, that emotional intelligence, that understanding that managing your emotions, when you connect there, it builds that trust in that rapport and it makes that selling process feel more natural. You know that when you get on a call with me that, yes, ultimately I'm going to offer you a solution. Prior to me offering you the solution, I'm going to hear you out, I'm going to digest what you're saying, I'm going to empathize with you, I'm going to relate to you, I'm going to resonate with the, the challenge that you're having. All of that's going to take place and I'm going to offer you the solution so that emotional intelligence is prevalent there. You see how that can change. But the only way you can do that is to lay the groundwork first. And we're going to get into that. Okay, so the next thing is really shifting your mindset. You want to reframe your mindset from, like I've already said, selling to serving. When you focus on how your product or service can genuinely help someone, the process becomes less about you and more about them. That's when you get into acts of service, it's less about you and more about them. That's going to dictate and direct that sales conversation. You're more on the listening end. And so this shift not only makes selling easier, but also makes it More fulfilling because you get to walk away knowing that you have delivered service to someone by offering them your solution. And then you've also impacted your own business. So that makes it fulfilling. So you're going to start seeing selling as an opportunity to make that positive impact instead of a necessary evil. Because that's what a lot of people think of it as at this point. It's a necessary evil, but it's not evil. It's not evil. It's necessary and it's positive and it's impactful. Can be. So I want you to drop in the comments, I want you to drop a thumbs up if you've ever felt nervous about selling. But now you're beginning to get a little bit more clarity. You're beginning to get a little bit more clarity. I want you to drop a thumbs up in the comments and if you're watching the replay, I want you to do the same as well. Then want you to drop a thumbs up in the comments if you're getting just a little bit more clarity so far with what I've walked you through. So let's talk about building confidence in selling. Building confidence in selling. It's not something that happens overnight, okay? But it can be developed. I want to say that confidence can be developed. Okay. It can be developed with practice and it can be developed as you see, with the right strategies. Okay? So I want to give you just a few practical tips to really start building that confidence. The first thing is really know your product and your service inside out. I know that sounds so incredibly elementary, but know your product and your service inside out. People can tell if you're just flying by the seat of your pants when it comes to your products or services. So if you don't know your products or services inside and out, they can tell. They can tell and that's going to hinder that sale. So the more you understand what you're offering, the easiest, easier it's going to be to communicate it, its value. Like, I know if you sign up with me, I know without a shadow of a doubt these are the things that you're going to get. But I also know the value you're going to get. You're going to begin to get clients if you do the work. If you, if you skip around and you don't do the work consistently and if you have a I'm going to do it my way mentality, then you're not gonna get, you're not gonna get the value. But I can, I know how to communicate that. So you have to communicate. Know how to communicate the value of what you're doing, your product or your service. You want to take that time to learn every single aspect of your product or your service and how it benefits your client. I know sticking points with my clients or with my potential clients. I know that market research is like a bad word. I know that market research is like I just cuss somebody out. If I say that to my ideal client, I know that they're going to look at me like I've got 10 heads. So you have to know every aspect of your product or your service. And so when you believe in. In what you're, what you are providing that product or just. Or that service, it becomes easier to convey it to other people. You begin to know where the sticking points are for them. You understand where those sticking points are and you're able to guide them through those. So the first thing, how to build confidence in sales. These are practical steps. Know your product or your service inside out. Don't just know it, but know it inside out. The second thing is start with warm leads. I don't know how to express this enough. Start with warm leads. These are individuals that you have already connected with. They have shown some type of interest in your product or service. You've been engaging with them. That can be less intimidating for both you and them. And it's a really great way to build your confidence. So this is really breaking down that know, like trust. People say that all the time, but do we really understand what that means? So engage with these people. Begin to make them your warm audience. This is going to really boost your morale. It's going to boost your confidence. It's going to. It's going to help you prepare for potentially challenging prospects. I've had my fair share of those. Okay. And then that's going to actually help you to understand that if they're a challenge, even if you're able to get past that challenge, whatever that is, is this someone that you necessarily want to be connected with. So there's things that you get to learn through this entire process. So take every single thing and allow it to build your confidence. Doesn't matter how big or small it is. The next thing is created a sales script. And I talked about this last week. This is not where you're reading something word for word, but you have just like a basic outline of other things that you want to be able to cover when you're on these sales calls. It's kind of like having a safety net so that you don't go off the rails. Okay. It's not about memorizing word for word. It's about having structure so that you're able to color inside the lines and stay focused. I had a sales call with someone early on. It was about two hours. That was not, that was not a sales call. I was all outside of the lines and I learned from that sales call. Okay. So when you have a structured idea of how the conversation should go, then it flows more naturally because you already know these are the things that we need to talk about. Okay. So you already have an idea of the things that you're gonna say. This is going to reduce that, that anxiety is gonna help you see, stay on track in that conversation. Okay. Then the next thing, the last one of these is active listening. And I talk about this one a lot. I talk about it a lot. We've got to make sure we're listening actively, which means we're listening to digest, we're listening to hear, to understand. We're not listening to response. You want to pay attention to your client. What are their needs, what are their concerns, what feedback are they giving you? This is going to help you tailor your approach and then show them the genuine concern and care that you have about them. You're letting them know that they've been heard. Okay. All right. So those were just a couple of strategies that I wanted to be able to just really dial into. Okay. A couple of things that I just want to quickly touch on. We're already at half an hour in. I do try to be mindful of you all's time. One of the things that I really want you all to really start dialing into is having a follow up strategy. If that person was a. No, not right now. What is your follow up strategy? How are you keeping, how are you making sure that you are top of mind for them? It can be through email, can be through social media. You can send a handwritten note if you want to. Just make sure, carrier pigeon, smoke signal, whatever you need. Just make sure you are doing regular check ins so that you are showing them that you value their time and what you have to offer for them. So those were the things that I really wanted to download dial into today for understanding, really touching the surface of understanding the psychology, the mindset of selling for, for us introverts. So I would love for you all just because, you know, when I did this poll in, in July here in the community and I saw that 26% of the people in the group said sales was the top topic that they wanted to really dial into that was the most challenging thing that they were facing right now. When I saw that, I just, I, I resonated with it, I connected with it. And so that is top of mind for me right now. So I want you to drop in the chat. On a scale of 1 to 10, how confident do you feel about selling at this moment? Having gone through all that we've gone through so far, how do you, how do you, how do you feel at this moment? One through ten, one being nope, Karina, this is not it. I'm, I'm just, I'm, I'm winging it. I'm on a, winging a prayer and I can't get it. 10 being I'm great. So scale of 1 to 10, tell me how confident you are. One of the things that, and we'll talk about this a little bit more in the coming weeks, but one of the things that you can do to really warm up your audience before you get on those sales calls is making sure they're on your email list, making sure they're connected to you on social media. Really understanding how warming up your audience is key. Like we should never be going into our DMs just off the gate trying to sell something. I've had that happen to me. I've hated it. I do hate it. It still happens. People come into my DMs and you know, I flip it around because of what I do. Flip it around late. You know, I'd love to be able to invite you into my, into my program because you obviously need some assistance, you need some support. But you know, let's not, let's not just go willy nilly into people's dms. Let's have genuine conversations with them, let's connect with them so that it's a natural evolution, it's a natural process so that when that sales call, sales call happens, it's a service call and not a sales call. It's not a sales call. When you think about if you need someone to come to your house to maybe fix your AC or something, you've got a service call and you've got a sales call. You've got a sales call where they're coming out, they're diagnosing the, the issue and they're telling you how much it's going to be, that's a sales call. Okay? A service call is once you're already in the system, they've had a conversation with you and now you need some services. So think about that. It worked for you in 2022. But now you have to have a conversation and connect. Absolutely. Because, Mark, the market has changed drastically. And that's the thing. That's a really good point that I want to make here. I just kind of want to park here for a second. The market changes constantly. Like, what we were doing five months ago is probably not going to work today. What we're doing today is probably not going to work in January. And so that's why I keep doing these trainings, because what I'm teaching you is based on the market trends. So what I'm showing you, you know, it. You may say, well, Corinne, that. That doesn't really make sense. Corinne, I don't really want to do that. Understand that this is based on market research. This is based on what's happening now. There's no way. Yeah, 20, 22. Lots of people were willing to do lots more things at that time. Not so much now. It does not work the same. And it doesn't have to be two years, a two year difference. It could be a couple of months, it could be a couple of weeks. Things are absolutely changing. So if you're. If you know, if you're trying to do the same thing that works two years ago or a year ago or six months ago, it's not gonna work. Nine times out of 10 is not gonna work. So that's why you got me. I'm here for you. I go do all of the hard work, the heavy lifting, and I bring it back to you. So which does take me to the next point of the newsletter. Each week, I'm dropping a blog inside of the newsletter. I'm dropping the newsletter itself in the live training. And this is all to help you stay focused, keep you on track with getting your as. Even as Wakisha said, you know, she's trying to use the same. Well, I'm not gonna say she's trying, but she said for her, using the same technique that she. That she was using two years ago does not work. Okay, so sign up for the newsletter. You're going to get a blog inside of that newsletter here. I do the live trainings. Okay, so all of this is to help you stay abreast of what's going on so that you're able to move the needle forward like Harriet said. Harriet has not been connected to me that long. She's already signed two new to new agents, as she said, based on the strategies that I've taught her. Be sure to turn on post notifications here in the community. I try very hard not to use The At Everyone feature because I don't particularly care for it myself in certain situations. But if you get an at Everyone from myself or Halima, know that it's something that we really deem important and we want to get that information over to you. Okay? The last thing is, even though we've already started, it's not too late to join the 21 day connection catalyst which runs from. It started yesterday, August 5th through September 2nd. 21 days, 21 business days. And this is a text message based journey. Okay. It's designed to really help you dial into the daily tasks that you need to be doing to grow your business. A lot of times people say, I don't know what I'm supposed to be doing every day. I don't, you know, I don't know, I feel like I'm being pulled here, there and everywhere. So what you're going to get from me, every Single morning at 8:00am Eastern Standard Time, you're going to get a text message, a prompt of something that you need to do within your business to build your business. I had one lady reach out to me late last night to tell me that she reached out to three people. One person being a high profile person, she said, I reached out to these three people, two of them responded. And then late last night, the high profile person actually responded back to her. It works if you work it. So follow the prompts. They take no more than 30 minutes. Follow the prompts, do the work, and you're going to see your business grow. You're going to see your business grow. You will absolutely see your business grow. So that is all that I have. Drop your comments, your questions, anything that you have into the, the comment section, tag me and I will come back and respond, even if it's the replay. That's okay, I got you. All right, so I'm gonna end here. I love y'. All. Oh, my goodness, I'm ecstatic. Thank you, Harriet, for that, that sharing that testimony. I really appreciate y'. All. Have a great one. Bye for now.